We're now in the Emprise where Lara is facing pretty much hell.

Also a surprise twist with Cullen. I personally think it's more personal between Samson and Cullen so I've incorporated it in here as well as some other chapters.

Thank you to everyone who is here for the journey and who has been following and favoriting. It means the world to me x

—-

Chapter 23:

"This place gives me a headache," Dorian complained the following morning as they prepared for the Keep. "It takes me being this cold to admit that the red lyrium actually provides some warmth," He continued in disgust.

Soldiers made their way around them, shouting orders at each other and equipping themselves with the necessary armor and gear. Clanking of metal and swords echoed in the chilly air only partially silencing the persistent hum.

"Who's pampered now?" Lara retorted with a small smirk.

"You can't call me pampered. Nobody has peeled a grape for me in weeks, I'll have you know," He shot back, glaring at her.

Iron Bull approached them, swinging his ax dangerously. His only setting since they had been here was to kill and conquer. He grew impatient the longer they waited to approach the Keep, wanting to destroy every Red Templar in there, especially the demon that awaited them.

"Quite the stink eye you've got there Dorian. I've got something that can help with that," He commented, flexing his muscles at him.

Dorian let out a frustrated noise dropping some of his equipment. Cold weather put him in a foul mood and there was no escaping that here in the Emprise.

"You stand there, flexing your muscles, huffing like some beast of burden with no thought save conquest!" He shouted at him.

"That's right," Bull's voice went deeper, "These big muscled hands could tear those robes off while you struggled, helpless in my grip. I'd pin you down, and as you gripped my horns; I. Would. Conquer. You," He emphasized the last sentence, closing the distance between them.

Lara stared in shock at Bull's words, not expecting him to go there so publicly. Images of Cullen gripping her in his bed while he took her came to mind, causing her cheeks to flush even in this brutal cold. It hadn't even been long since her first time and she was already longing for him, needing him again. Her soreness the day after had healed, and was immediately replaced with need. Bull's words were not helping her.

"Uh, what?" Dorian was just as much in shock as she was at Bull's confession, his eyes wide with both confusion and lust, if Lara was not mistaken.

"Oh?" Bull took a step back, "Is that not where we were going?" He asked, not bothered.

"No! It was very much not," Dorian regained his composure.

A strange noise trying to disguise her laugh escaped Lara as she composed herself as well. Dorian shot her a glance. Bull had exposed too much already which Lara knew displeased Dorian. He preferred his privacy, especially in intimate relations, and this was definitely crossing the line.

"Well, if you ever change your mind mage boy, my door is always open. I can easily hike up that skirt for you," He winked as he walked away, ax still swinging happily causing some of the soldiers to fly out of his way.

"Why…" Dorian let out a growl, "I am not wearing a skirt!" He yelled after him.

Lara covered her mouth to hide her laugh that threatened to spill. She only won a glare from Dorian who hastily grabbed the remainder of his belongings and walked off. Letting her laugh escape her, she grabbed the rest of her equipment and potions and followed Dorian's angry footsteps in the snow. She could hear him muttering to himself angrily up ahead. The other soldiers pretended they didn't see or hear anything but it was already too many prying eyes and ears that bore witness to their exchange.

—-

A last minute message reached Lara that people were still alive in the quarry and held prisoner. Something gnawed at Lara that the quarry needed to be done first, so she made a quick change in plans. If they drove them out of the Keep first, they would run to the quarry and most likely kill those innocent people or do Maker knows what else to them. Luckily, there wasn't much protest. Soldiers agreed that some could stay behind after they dealt with the quarry to clean up any loose ends.

The quarry was never ending and indeed innocent people were trapped, some too late to save as they were used for experiments, crystals of red lyrium covering their skin. The amount of red lyrium growing was like an incurable disease. The hum vibrated through the mountainside of the quarry and Bull took great pleasure in destroying each and every cluster that they crossed. Varric would be pleased to see that shit gone.

"Samson again…" Lara muttered to herself, finding a third letter from this Samson, whoever he was.

"What did you say, lass?" Rylen's voice came from behind her, eyes curious.

"Nothing important I don't think," Lara shrugged.

"You said a name," Rylen continued.

"Samson. These letters are all from him giving orders," Lara flipped through the letters.

"Aye, that's important. Give those to Cullen as soon as you can, lass. He'll know what to do," Rylen nodded at her.

They know him then. Hmm…

Lara pocketed the letters safely inside her coat as she made her way to the rest of the quarry to save the last of the villagers before anything happened. The Red Templars here were too distracted and did not expect them. This was another reason she wanted to redirect their plans. They were expecting them at the Keep, they were not expecting them to go to the quarry first. Fighting their way through hadn't been too difficult with the element of surprise but they still needed to stop by camp and stock up on supplies before approaching the Keep. Lara was determined to do this in one day. Have one full day of seizing the rug from underneath them and conquer them, as Bull would put it. Then they could rest knowing they took the quarry and the Keep. A small selfish part of her wanted to see Cullen sooner. He was still in Sahrnia and she felt a constant pit in her stomach full of worry with how he was faring. Let her get through this, and then she can be in his arms again.

—-

The second they entered the Keep, Lara felt something crawl inside her skin, a lump forming in her throat. Memories from the Elder One's future creeped into her mind, threatening to take hold. The eerie quietness with only the Song to focus on set Lara on edge. Whatever was being done here, these Red Templars were drunk on the stuff. Their fighting abilities and strength were unmatched and Lara had a sinking feeling her mana was going to be drained by the end of this. She needed to keep her focus in order to harness her magic and use it to the fullest potential so she tried to remember Solas's guidance. She wished he was here but right now, Cullen needed him by his side more.

Lara's fear was proven right; they were indeed experimenting but on creatures it seemed, not just humans. She skimmed the test notes quickly, not wanting to linger on it for too long.

The last one entered a savage frenzy from the lyrium

We had to put it down

Until we obtain creatures in large enough numbers

Test different techniques

Behemoths serve our purposes for now

Bile rose to her throat, her skin wanting to crawl off her body. The horrors that must've happened in this Keep, the stories these walls could tell. Lara was grateful they couldn't talk but her mind was filling in the gaps for her. Lara's answer soon arrived as she saw a dead giant, its head exploded, red lyrium occupying its place, the crystals glistening sickly. A wave of nausea hit her as she stepped away, but her eyes couldn't stop staring at the atrocity before her.

Dorian grabbed her arm and forced her to move ahead. He was right, there was no point in staring but she could hardly believe what they were doing. For what purpose was this serving? Experimenting red lyrium with giants? The end goal of that besides strength was beside her. And the world had the nerve to say that magic was the destruction of it. This was on a whole other level. Their footsteps came to a halt as an infected giant stood in their way, patrolling the area with Red Templars next to it.

Of fucking course…

Weapons at the ready, they headed straight into battle not wasting anytime. The strength that emanated off of the giant was almost too much. Lara kept a barrier up as long as she could while putting out what attacks she could manage. Her main focus was protecting the others from getting too badly damaged. She took out the Red Templars while the others focused on the giant for now. She could feel her mana slowly slipping the more she balanced her barrier with her output of magic and she could hear Solas scolding her already about spreading herself too thin. As the last templar fell, Lara directed a surprise attack against the giant causing it to turn her way. It hadn't noticed her till now. The distraction allowed her party to attack with full force, also taking the giant off guard. Taking a gulp, Lara used her anchor, discharging energy allowing her party to deal their final blows before the giant fell to the ground.

Lara followed suit letting out an exasperated cry, a blur overtaking her vision as her body gave out underneath her. It was too much energy at once and her body struggled to keep up. Dorian was soon by her side with a potion in hand. He tipped her head back and forced her mouth open, pouring the contents in.

"You're lucky the elf isn't here to scold you with his Fade nonsense and what not," He commented, but he also wasn't too impressed with her.

Lara closed her eyes and licked the remnants off her lips, savoring it. She just hoped it would pour enough energy back into her for the demon that awaited them in the Keep.

—-

"Ah, the hero arrives. But is it a hero? Or murderer? It's so hard to tell," A man greeted them.

Murderer? He better not be calling me a fucking murderer.

"And who are you?" Lara answered, unamused.

"Call me…Imshael," He smiled.

"Ah, so demon then," She responded.

"Ahem. Choice spirit," He corrected.

"Time to die," Blackwall announced and Bull grunted in agreement, ax at the ready.

"Wait, wait, wait. These are your friends? They're very violent. It's worrying. True to my name, I will show you that you have a choice. It doesn't have to always end in bloodshed," He bargained.

"Then talk. And make it quick," Lara glared at him.

Dorian sighed, "That's how they get you…"

"Simple, we don't fight and I grant you power. Shower you with riches. Or maybe virgins. Your pick," He finished with a smile.

"Bullshit offer! I can find virgins anywhere. Let's kill him, Boss!" Bull swung his ax.

"Looks like you die today, demon," Lara grabbed her staff.

"Oh, for…Choice! Spirit!" He yelled out.

"Fuck off!" Lara shouted back as she cast the first spell at him, losing patience.

This time, Dorian set up the barrier to protect them before she had a chance to do it again. True to her accusation, Imshael formed into a demon, the very same one that she encountered in the Fade in the Nightmare's lair. Fearlings manifested as spiders crawled through the courtyard. Lara felt the shock overtake her body as memories from the Fade took over, Hawke's sacrifice replaying in her mind. Her body being pulled apart by the monster, her fears rising to the surface, the voice replaying in her head. The line between the Fade and reality was becoming more and more blurred as the Elder One's future was coming into play and she was struggling to tell what was real and what wasn't. Was this demon playing on her fears? Could they all see what she was seeing?

"Lara!" Dorian shouted at her trying to catch her attention.

She still couldn't move until a force knocked her out of the way. She came face to face with Blackwall who grabbed her aggressively out of the way while he swung at the Fearlings, cutting them through his path.

"You alright, my lady?" He asked with a grunt as he continued fighting his way through the courtyard.

Shaking her head, she began casting her magic while Blackwall ran with her in his arms, trying to keep her out of harm's way. To Lara's horror, Imshael began changing form and manifested as a rage demon.

"Please tell me you saw him change form," Lara muttered to Blackwall.

"Un-fucking-fortunately," He growled angrily.

Lara pushed herself off of him and got to work. Seeing it as a rage demon was more bearable than the form of the nightmare. This she could work with. She focused all her power, energy, and magic on attacking it, dispelling it, dazing it, and unleashing what she could while Bull did not hold back with his ax, which Lara was grateful for. A cloud erupted around Imshael now and through the cracks, Lara could see the shape changing again. She backed away slowly while Dorian set up another barrier, preparing them for whatever came next.

A pride demon. Still manageable but Lara was already feeling her mana deplete further with the demon. It was now or never and she could take another potion if need be. While the others got to work, Lara stretched her arm, green electric waves zapping across it. She needed to discharge it again, buying them time, and they could take the demon out. With this Anchor, she controlled the Fade, not Corypheus, and she'll end it all just to piss him off. She already had power, the power was hers. It was also her power on how this story ends, and it was going to end with this demon gone and the Keep theirs. With a cry, she discharged the Anchor again, her party already knowing what they needed to do. The discharge alone made Imshael cry out, also causing the pull on her arm to intensify. Letting out a deep breath, she closed her eyes and focused on what Solas had guided her to do. She feels the demon slipping, dying and when he does she lets out another cry as she collapses to the floor.

Dorian is by her side again, aiding her with another potion. She lay there breathing weakly, eyes closed both relieved it is over yet angry at the horrors they've done here. Angry that it even got this far. Angry she wasn't here in time. Strong hands lifted her up, walking her up the stairs.

"Just one more task, my lady," Blackwall spoke as he helped her.

He guided her to the very top, and helped her place the Inquisition flag, signaling to all that it was theirs to take. They had done it. In a single day, they had taken the rug from under them in two different ways leaving them with no option but to flee. Lara wasn't sure how long it took, but the rush of soldiers filing in sounded in her ears and relief flooded her. It was further proof that they had done it. Soldiers and scouts now occupied the Keep assisting in the clean up, taking notes, setting up various camps, assessing any injuries, and writing reports. A mage approached her, a healer she recognized in Skyhold.

"Let's get you some medicine and rest, Inquisitor," She spoke to her.

The voice was fuzzy to Lara. She wanted to protest but couldn't. All she could think about was Cullen and his warm arms around her. She needed to know he was safe, that he was okay but her body couldn't fight any longer. When she was laid down on a makeshift cot, she succumbed to the darkness, letting it take her.

—-

A throbbing headache awoke her followed by a deep ache all throughout her body. She was scared to move in case she awoke the pain and sent it shooting. Blinking her eyes a few times till her vision adjusted, she took note of her surroundings while keeping her body still. She licked her lips, her mouth dry and parched. How long had she been here? A large, spacious tent surrounded her and she laid in a bed, blankets covering her. She had been undressed and bandaged. The outside seemed so quiet, peaceful even. Was it nighttime?

Her ears caught the sound of scribbling and rustlings of paper. Turning her head ever so slowly, her eyes immediately caught sight of unruly blond hair in the lamplight. Relief surged through her at the sight of him there, alive, hunched over the desk hard at work. The relief overtook the pain that for a moment she forgot and tried to sit up too fast. Pain quickly reared its ugly head as it seared through her reminding her she wasn't in the clear. A sharp groan escaped her at the jolt of pain. Cullen turned around abruptly, nearly spilling over his ink.

Oh no, he's ill again…

She could see the paleness in his skin, the bags under his eyes, the shakiness of his movements as he approached her. His tunic hung loosely on him and Lara could swear he lost a few these past few days. He wasn't eating either.

"Lara! Thank the Maker you're alive. Lay down," He ordered her while wrapping his arms around her to lie her back down.

She fought against his movements and instead pressed herself against him, wincing at the pain. Her hands clutched at his tunic. Cullen took the hint and held her close to him, keeping his arms wrapped around her. Oakmoss and elderflower wrapped around her as well and she welcomed the familiar scents letting them relax her. She was safe.

"Here. I've been ordered to give you this as soon as you awoke," He handed her a vial.

"From who?" Lara asked, skeptical.

"Solas. He took over healing you as soon as we arrived here."

She willingly took the vial and downed the contents as fast as she could. He took the vial from her and placed it back on the table near her bed.

"I'm in your tent?" She asked, looking around again.

"No," He smiled sheepishly. "I'm in yours. I wanted to be here when you woke up. I was, uh-" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Worried about you. When they told me you had fainted, I panicked. The reports didn't put my mind at rest."

"Why?" Lara's eyes widened in surprise.

Why? Really…that's what you respond with?

Cullen let out a sigh. "Nearly everyday you put yourself in danger. I would be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that dreads letting you go every single time, especially knowing I am the one sending you in harm's way."

"There was a demon here. A choice spirit it called itself. He was human though just like any of us," Lara couldn't get him out of her mind.

First he was human, like any other. Then he wasn't. He changed so easily into multiple forms, multiple demons, playing on each element; nightmare, rage, desire, fear. He chose which to play on just like he offered a choice to every one of his victims. Magic out of hand, out of control, further playing into the idea that mages are to be watched and cannot be trusted. She looked down on the green hue now illuminating on her hand. The power she carried in the palm of her hand was immeasurable, it was practically a one way ticket to the Fade. She could dispel magic using the Anchor. The fear that one day it might backfire on her crossed her mind constantly. Would she turn to an abomination? Would that power or magic consume her?

"I read the reports. There is no choice. It would just play on whatever you desired most, letting it trick you into thinking it was a choice. No matter your choice, so to speak, you would still be the demon's victim," Cullen responded, his muscles tense.

A small part of her was tempted by power, but she wouldn't admit it. If only she could have more power to defeat Corypheus, but by choosing that she would have been no better than he was. She would have been worse taking a deal from a demon. Another realization had hit her when they were fighting the demon and she couldn't hold back from asking him even if it opened old wounds from his past, even if it meant his past life would have to come into play with his present or future life.

"Cullen…if I was possessed by a demon, would you…?" Lara started but immediately felt a slash of pain through her chest at the sight of him.

Cullen tensed so hard, the bed shook slightly underneath him. His eyes shut close as if bracing the emotions and the horrors that took over him. When he was merely eighteen, his job was to kill any abominations but those were mages under his watch, those he had no connection with. This was different.

"Please, don't ask me this," His answer was abrupt, his voice laced with pain.

Lara held her breath. "I think I know the answer," She replied in a soft whisper.

He would kill me…

"No. I don't think you do. It's not that simple and I…I would rather not think of it," He gritted out his sentence, his body tense.

"I need to know–" She started, her voice rising.

"Lara," His voice was sharp now. "Enough. Please," He finished.

She pressed her lips together as if to hold back her words before they spilled out of her. Her curiosity was running rampant. Did that mean he didn't have the heart to kill her? Or that duty would always call and he would? It would always come back to this for them; mage versus templar. He held the power to kill her should her magic lead her astray yet she couldn't keep away from him. Somewhere inside her felt protected by him and the unease that lay between them would interfere with that, or so she thought.

Before she could stop herself, she leaned toward him, trying to ignore the pain, and pressed her lips on his hoping he would note her sense of urgency. He didn't miss a beat. His hand reached up to cup her face, pulling her closer to him as he kissed her as if it would be his last. He kissed her as if he could kiss the raw pain from their conversation away. His tongue ran across her lips waiting to be let in and she granted it, needing more from him. She could almost taste the lyrium sickness on him and instantly wished their kiss could wash it away. Their tongues danced a needy rhythm, while his hand roamed her body, skimming through the thin nightgown she wore, leaving a trail of fire with his fingertips. His touch awakened her body, desire spreading and pumping through her. Ignoring the pain, she further pressed her body against his, the feel of his muscles moving against her building the heat and longing that ached between her legs.

He gently broke the kiss, "Your body's weak and you're in pain."

"So? You're ill," She bit back, not wanting to stop.

He let out a chuckle that made her heart skip a beat. "Greedy girl," He replied.

"Yes," She whispered all too eagerly.

Her response won her another chuckle. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and her heart sank as that kiss was his final answer.

"Tomorrow you're going back with the men to Skyhold," Lara ordered, as she slowly lowered herself back onto the bed.

"Are you ordering me now?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Correct, I'm pulling rank Rutherford. Deny it all you want but you have lyrium sickness and you won't get any better here. You're leaving with the group of soldiers tomorrow," She pulled her blanket back over her, preparing for bed.

He let out a laugh, his head tilting backwards. It was a rare sight of him being so carefree in front of her. Just for her. Because of her. A smile formed on her lips as she watched him. There was a lightness to him, lines forming on his face as he laughed, his scar moving with his mouth. She was proud she was the reason for it and wished to see more of him like this.

"Rutherford is it, now?" He asked playfully.

"It'll be Cullen if you sleep with me tonight," She patted the side of the bed next to her.

"In what sense?" His eyes darkened.

"Every sense," She replied breathily.

He let out a sharp breath at her answer, his hands curling themselves into fists as his eyes closed shut trying to reel himself back in and not act on his next move. She wished he didn't. She wanted him to give in, to take her in his arms and bury himself inside of her. To make up for the days and time lost since that night he took a piece of her with him. Lara watched him intently, her legs squeezing together hoping he would submit to her wishes. The uncertainty was killing her but she was met with disappointment as he crawled into the empty space next to her, pulling the blankets over him as he wrapped a protective arm around her pulling her close to him. Her breath caught in her throat as she felt his hard and thick erection along her backside. Desire was now blooming again between her legs, her wetness spreading at the fact that he wanted her too. Her hips moved on their own accord, teasing him, wanting to lure him in. His hand wrapped around her waist tighter, holding her in place. She let out a frustrated sigh.

"Sleep, precious girl," He whispered, laying a gentle kiss on her cheek.

—-

"Samson! He's behind this?" His honey eyes widened in alarm as she handed the letters to Cullen the next morning before his departure to Skyhold.

"Someone from your past?" Lara asked, soaking in his reaction to the letters.

"Yes. He was a templar in Kirkwall, until he was expelled from the Order. I knew he was an addict but this…" He paced back and forth re-reading the letters as if to find some hidden information.

"Red lyrium is nothing like the lyrium given by the Chantry. Its power comes with a terrible madness," He finished, shaking his head in disgust.

"Thankfully, we pulled the rug from underneath them. No mine, no Keep, they have nowhere else to go now," Lara replied. She almost felt guilty for feeling proud of herself.

Unless they do have somewhere else to go…

Cullen looked at her with a sideways smile, his honey eyes lightening at the sight of her.

"You always did have a habit of making a grand entrance," He commented.

Lara answered him with a mock curtsy, gaining a chuckle out of him. The noise caused her to smirk. When she rose and her eyes met his, her expression changed. His gaze had shifted, honey eyes becoming molten the more he stared at her. It was an unfamiliar stare but Lara had recognized it all the same; admiration, worship, adoration, reverence, love. Lara swallowed hard as knots twisted in her stomach at the last emotion. Love. It was something she didn't know she could handle, or if she was worthy of it. She believed in it, but not in its possibility for her. It had failed her too many times.

"You can't look at me like that…" She whispered, not able to break his gaze.

"Like what, Lara?" His voice was raspy, sending shivers down her spine.

Before she could think of an answer, the entrance to her tent opened, letting the light and the frosty morning air peak in.

"Cullen, we have a situation," Rylen's voice boomed, sending them out of whatever hold had taken over them.

Cullen gave her a nod and he headed out of her tent. The air whooshed out of her the moment he left, unaware that she was holding her breath.

"Sorry, lass," Rylen spoke, not making eye contact.

She wrapped her arms around herself after he left, unsure of whether she was grateful Rylen had intruded on their moment together. Embarrassment soon washed over her as she realized why Rylen wouldn't look at her. Nothing but her nightgown covered her body as Cullen was getting dressed, getting ready for Skyhold. Heat flushed her cheeks and she immediately headed over to the corner where a sponge bath awaited her. It wasn't much at the moment but she was grateful for it nonetheless. The water was still warm and the lavender scent caressed her skin, washing off the horrors she had faced in this Keep.

Once she was dried, she faced herself in the makeshift mirror. Strands were running wild from her braid, forming an untidy mess around it. She grabbed a brush from her belongings and untied her hair, running her fingers through it. Her fingers slowed as she instantly remembered when Gabriel had sorted through her messy hair, shaking his head at her. A pang of loss stabbed her as she remembered his words, his letter. She still had not given a response, nor had she had time to think about how to respond. A tear slipped her eye and once Lara had realized, she wiped it away hastily. Annoyed with herself, she began brushing her hair, trying not to think of that night. Or the times when he found rare flowers for her to put in her hair when she played princess in her room. She quickly twisted her hair into a braid, just as he had shown her how all those years ago. A lump formed in her throat as she fought the tears.

Sudden commotion outside caused Lara to tear away from her thoughts and step towards the entrance of her tent to catch a word or answer as to what was going on. A rush of soldiers muttering and running around was all she could hear. Alarm was clear in their voices as they scanned for something. A threat? A person? She quickly got dressed and stepped outside, the winter sun glaring in her eyes against the white snow. It was madness as the soldiers had their weapons at the ready, searching in all areas of the Keep and the tents. A warning pulled at her that something was wrong and it had to do with Cullen.

"Where's the Commander and Rylen?" Lara asked a soldier.

"Inquisitor," He saluted her. "They are in the Commander's tent, but I must warn you…" His words drowned off as she followed the direction of his finger.

She quickly opened the entrance to his tent and unfortunately she had been right. She stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her. Cullen sat on the floor, his eyes wide and in a trance, his knuckles white as they dug into the floor. His muscles were locked, tense as if fighting an internal battle. He didn't even notice her. Rylen was angrily ordering two soldiers inside the tent and dismissed them. They hadn't realized she was here. The main shock was the jagged pieces of red lyrium scattered all over Cullen's desk. It was put there deliberately. Rylen held a letter in his hand, gripping it so tightly it might rip from the force alone.

"Who put that there?" Lara could hardly get the words out.

Rylen turned towards her, but Cullen stayed put as if he was in another world. Rylen walked over to her and handed her the letter. The contents made her stomach churn.

We could've been great together. This could have been you.

-Samson.

"Get it out of here now," Lara ordered Rylen.

"We're too weak, lass, especially some of the men who have lowered their intake," Rylen answered.

"How did he get in here unnoticed?" Lara raised her voice. Cullen still hadn't noticed her.

"I don't fucking know. Maybe one of his men…"

"Or there's a traitor among us," Lara spat out.

"It sings…Maker, how it sings," Cullen's voice, barely a whisper, silenced them both.

Shit! Red lyrium. It's more powerful than what he's used to.

Lara ran out of the tent to find her party. Thankfully, Bull is an easy guy to spot.

"Bull, help me please!" Lara spoke to him urgently, not caring how desperate she sounded. Dorian and Blackwall soon emerged from their tents.

"Surely not this early, my dear?" Dorian let out a yawn.

"Samson put red lyrium on Cullen's desk. I need it gone now!" She was on edge. Cullen had gone so long without lyrium, she was terrified this would lure him back in, send him into another episode. The soldiers around them searched but could find no trace of Samson or any of his men. It had to be an inside job.

Their expressions widened in horror. Bull, Dorian, and Blackwall wasted no time running into Cullen's tent and grabbing all the pieces as fast as they could so Bull could happily swing his ax through each one, killing the humming noise that was threatening to bring Cullen over the edge. Once they were out, she turned to Cullen who seemed to notice the hum was no longer present but it had taken him in too deep. It had tempted him. He licked his lips as if hoping to get a taste. The sight put Lara on edge. His eyes found hers but they were cold, empty. His expression was crazed, desperately seeking the hit he needed.

"Get out," His words were harsh.

"No," Lara stood her ground. Anger coursed through her now. At everything. Samson, the Order, the Chantry, templars, the Circle. Everything responsible for this moment including herself.

"Unless you plan on giving me some, get out," The last word was filled with intent to hurt.

Lara didn't want to think of what he could do in order to get it. He wouldn't silence her, she trusted him that much. She was playing with fire, putting herself in the firing line.

"I'm not giving you shit. You are not bound by the Order. You don't need that anymore," Her words clear, reminding him what he gave up.

"How could a mage know what a templar needs?" He spat back at her.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she calmed herself down.

Do not use magic against him. Do not use magic against him. Do not use magic against him.

"I know what Cullen needs. The Cullen I know isn't a templar anymore," She replied.

Her words reached him for a few seconds as his expression softened but immediately faded, the cold and emptiness returning.

"Do you know how many mages I've killed? How many I watched kill themselves to avoid my hit? How many suffered because they had an affair with a Templar? How I begged to have all the mages slaughtered at Kinloch Hold?" His words were ice.

She felt the ice in his words stabbing her body, causing the hairs on her body to stand on end. It crossed her mind that he may have killed mages before. She was painfully aware he had the power to kill her at any given point and would be rewarded by the Chantry in disposing of another mage, another threat. If they were in a Circle, he would have held even more power against her. He could have dragged her back to the Circle, tortured her, punished her. He could've had his way with her and no one would have batted an eye. She would have been nothing but lucky that he even chose her to have his way with.

No, no, no…please don't go there…

He is not the Templar he was. He is not the boy he was back then. The one who was so young and eager to serve only to be taken advantage of, tortured, and abused. Only to have developed an addiction that he was now trying to fight so he can be free. He wouldn't hurt her, he protected her. He always kept an eye on her even when she pushed him so far away from her. He always came back, trying to bring her barrier down brick by brick. The Commander was Cullen, the man not Cullen, the Templar. He was here to create a different world, a better world for the Templars, much like she was for mages. Their mission was the same in that regard.

She lowered herself to the floor, resting on her knees in front of him. He froze at her proximity, his eyes widening in alarm. Was he mentally back in the Circle? Would he silence her?

"Cullen, you're not a Templar anymore. You're not back in the Circle. You're in a tent in Emprise du Lion. You are the Commander, and I the Inquisitor," She spoke, trying to hide the shake in her voice.

"Don't…" He whispered harshly, still on edge.

"Come back to me," She answered, placing a hand on his leg as if her touch could propel him forward to this present moment rather than whatever past he was stuck in.

"I could hurt you!" He yelled, hand gripping tightly on his sword, his eyes wide with fear.

"You won't," She said confidently, even though internally she had no idea if it was true.

He let out a dark laugh, causing Lara to shiver. "How can you be so sure? The things I've done…"

"When I collapsed from the Anchor in the mountains, it was you who saved me. When I became Herald, you accepted me. When I was imprisoned, you watched over me. When I was ill, you gave me your spare coat. When I used magic against you, you didn't react. You apologized to me. When I told you I was a virgin, you took me to your bed and let my first time be mine. You had so many chances to hurt me if you really wanted to but you didn't," She risked cupping his face with her hand.

He stiffened at her touch but didn't move. With her thumb, she traced the scar running from his upper lip with a softness, an admiration. A hope that her touch would bring him back to her and away from his past. Away from his need for destruction. She could feel him slowly untensing under her touch, the hold melting from him slowly. Leaning in, she kissed him.

"I won't let it take you," She whispered, resting her forehead on his.

In a second, he reaches for her, twisting his fingers in her hair, through her braid, crashing his lips on hers in need, in desperation. He presses hard into the kiss, bruising her lips but she doesn't care. She's craved him ever since he had her in his bed. Ever since she gave a piece of her to him. She lets out a moan as he effortlessly places her into his lap, wrapping her legs around him, straddling him. Her fingers intertwined in his unruly blond curls, not wanting him to let go of her and she of him. Here with him is where she belonged. Where it felt right, even if it wasn't for a mage to be with a templar, for an Inquisitor to be with her Commander. She swears she could taste the bitter taste of lyrium on his tongue but she tries to dissolve it the more she kisses him, wanting to take it from him and have it take her instead. He holds her so close, almost as if she is the only thing stopping him from heading straight for that past, straight for another hit. As if she grounds him. Her hips betray her and start to rock slowly to the rhythm of their kiss, needing relief from the desire flooding her body.

"The elf is insisting I give this to your dashing Commander…oh my, looks like you've already taken care of him," Dorian smirked, twirling the vial in his hand, as they flew off each other in surprise.

Motherfucker…

Lara couldn't help the flush in her cheeks. She was relieved it was Dorian but embarrassed he had to walk in on her, although she imagined his sex life with Bull to be a little more colorful based on Bull's admissions. She looked over to see Cullen flushed with embarrassment also as he shifted himself in his trousers. The movement shouldn't have been a turn on but she pressed her legs together in response nonetheless. It didn't go unnoticed as Cullen's eyes shifted to where her legs squeezed, his gaze intensifying.

Lara stood herself up before anything else happened and walked over to Dorian.

"We'll still take that, thank you," She glared at him and walked over to Cullen, giving him the vial. He quietly downed the contents and stood up, not daring to look at his desk where the lyrium once laid as if it would lure him back in again.

"Mhmm. Shall you be requiring another potion? A protective one if you will?" He raised a suggestive eyebrow.

"I take it Bull hasn't conquered you yet since you're still running your mouth," She shot back at him.

"Don't bring him into this. And no. There is no privacy in this forsaken place," He muttered angrily.

"I've also been asked to advise you, Commander, that your belongings have been packed and your men are ready to depart to Skyhold. I shall leave you to your goodbyes, and remember, there are no doors to lock here," He left with a wink.

"What was that about Iron Bull?" Cullen asked slowly, bracing himself for the answer.

"Oh, um, nothing. Inside joke," She fumbled, not realizing he had caught on. She wasn't sure if Dorian wanted anyone knowing about the two of them.

He closed the distance between them, planting a kiss on her forehead, her eyebrows, her nose, her cheeks, along her jawline, and finally her lips. She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his lips on her skin. Each kiss loaded with admiration, adoration. That same feeling of love from earlier made Lara feel claustrophobic but she repressed it, not wanting to ruin the moment as she would have to say goodbye There were still loose ends that needed to be tied here before she could return to Skyhold, but she needed him to be safe and here was anywhere but safe.

"Don't take too long. I have plans for you," He whispered in her ear.

His words shot straight to her core. Her plans currently involved dragons, but she wasn't going to tell him that. Not when he was still coming back from the temptation, from his past.

"Take care of yourself first. Can't execute your plans when you're ill," She reminded him.

He smiled against her ear, causing goosebumps to form.

"Yes, Inquisitor," He whispered huskily and departed from the tent. She let out a sigh of relief as she heard him and the other soldiers leaving. In the meantime, she wanted to burn this whole fucking tent down, erasing everything that had just happened, erasing the taint that now consumed it.