"Whoa, Buck! Slow down!" I called while riding Buck from the Marlin Cove Shopping Center to Bowditch.
"Hey, you wanna get back to class on time? This is the fastest way." said Buck.
Back at Bowditch, Lucky Jack was playing with the three little piggies, acting as the Big Bad Wolf, calling. "Let me in, you li'l pokers, or I'll huff and puff and blow your house in!"
"Not by the hairs of our chinny chin..." the three piggies called back when they saw Buck carrying me past the pen, while flashing a suave grin at the piggies.
"Holy grits and taters in the morning!" Lucky Jack exclaimed on seeing Buck, as well as Ollie, who said. "Was that..."
"Don't ask, don't tell." panted Maggie, who, along with Mrs. Caloway and Grace, were exhausted for trying to catch up with me and Buck.
"Who's asking?" asked Lucky Jack.
"I might." replied Jeb, whom Lucky Jack puffed out a blow.
"See? Told ya." Buck said as we stopped by Room 41, where Miss Mustante taught Drama class.
"And with fifteen minutes to spare." he added while looking at my watch.
"Thankfully." I said, getting myself down while seeing who was exiting the main office.
"Oh, there she is." I whispered to Buck, then called out to...
"Miss Musante!"
...who turned to see me upon hearing her name be called.
"Nathan! Always good to see you again." she said while giving me a hug.
"Always good to see you too, Miss M." I said back while noticing Julian and Erika getting out of his car. "And not a moment too soon."
Inside the Drama room, Miss Mustante looked back and forth from the portrait of Anneliese, which Julian had brought, to Erika, saying. "Remarkable. Absolutely remarkable."
"Yeah." said Erika. "Except for my hair."
Miss Musante looked at Erika's brown hair, then turned to me with a smile. "It's a good thing you came to me, Nathan. I think I have something that can help."
She went to the prop closet door, opening it and digging through the cluttered shelves.
One of the things Miss Musante dug out was a detective's hat, which landed on Maggie, much to her delight.
"Eh?" she asked.
Grace gave Maggie a hoof up while Wolfie barked his approval, but Mrs. Caloway raised an eyebrow, saying. "Really?"
"Ah, here it is." Miss Musante said, holding up a blonde wig, which she had just found, putting it over Erika's hair.
"Wow!" I exclaimed.
"Wowie wow!" exclaimed Buck.
"Even without the birthmark, she does look like Anneliese." said Grace.
"Quite." agreed Mrs. Caloway.
"Yeah, this could actually work." said Maggie.
"About that." Erika said to us. "We're missing one teeny tiny detail; I don't know a thing about being a princess."
"Well, it's a good thing I brought this along, too." Julian said, holding up a book.
"What is it?" asked Buck.
"The Princess's Book of Etiquette." Julian proclaimed as he opened the book. "Now, for starters, there's no nagging, bragging, sweating, fretting, slipping, tripping, slurping, burping, twittering or frittering allowed."
As he went over the book, I was surprised, having to count the rules with all my ten fingers.
"Stay present, stay pleasant, stay proud." Julian instructed to Erika.
Julian:
To be a princess is to know which spoon to use
To be a princess is...
"...a thousand pairs of shoes?" Miss Musante added as she opened another closet, revealing many rows of fancy-looking shoes.
"Oooh!" Buck, Wolfie, and the cows exclaimed upon seeing them.
Julian:
To maintain a regal gait,
Leave the parsley on your plate,
And be charming but detached and yet amused
"Could you repeat that again, please?" asked Grace, to whom Julian sang. "To be a princess is to never be confused."
Maggie and Mrs. Caloway stared at Grace when they heard Julian call. "Ladies?"
"Gentlemen?" Miss Musante called to me and Buck.
We all went to the center of the room, practicing proper royal etiquette while Julian and Miss Musante took turns singing.
Julian:
Do a plié and never fall
Miss Musante:
Don't ever stray from protocol
Julian:
All through the day
There's just one way
You must behave
Do keep a grip and never crack
Miss Musante:
Stiff upper lip and arch the back
Julian:
Bend from above
And always wear your gloves
And wave
"Hi!" Grace greeted again, waving at Erika, irritating Mrs. Caloway already.
Julian:
Shoulders back and
Tummy in and
Pinky out and
Lift the chin and
Slowly turn the head from side to side
Erika:
I see now
While doing what Julian had instructed to us, Buck tried to keep his own tummy in, on top of holding his breath, but ended up passing out.
Julian:
Breathing gently
Stepping lightly
Miss Musante:
Smile brightly
Nod politely
Julian and Miss Musante:
Never show a thing you feel inside!
Glide!
They gently shoved Erika inside the costume closet, from where she popped out, revealing herself to be dressed like an actual princess.
Buck whistled like a wolf, but seeing the looks on our faces made him realize that it was inappropriate to whistle like that in front of a royal.
Julian:
To be a princess is to always look your best
To be a princess is to never get to rest
Miss Musante:
Sit for a portrait, never squirm
Sleep on a mattress extra firm
Julian:
Speak and be clever
Never at a loss for words
Curtsey to every count and lord
Miss Musante:
Learn how to play the harpsichord
Julian:
Sing lullabies and always harmonize in thirds
Julian, Miss Musante and Erika:
Thirds, thirds!
While taking a little break from the royal practicing, I took a look at Anneliese's portrait, which Julian looked at as well while singing.
Julian:
And...she has beautiful eyes
Your spirits rise
When she walks in the room
"I see." Erika and Miss Musante said as they, along with Buck, the cows and Wolfie, looked at the portrait too.
Julian:
Doors close
And the chemistry grows
She's like a rose
That's forever in bloom!
As he took Erika by the hand, pulling her in for a waltz, Maggie snapped him out of it with her tail, saying. "Stay focused, Romeo."
"Everybody, now!" Miss Musante called, leading us on the etiquette once more while singing along.
Julian:
Do a plié
Myself:
And don't...
Erika:
Ever, ever, ever fall
Miss Musante:
Never show dismay
Erika:
And be there when people call
Julian:
Be prepared whatever royal life will bring.
Maggie:
Do keep a grip
Buck:
And don't...
Erika:
Ever, ever, ever crack
Mrs. Caloway:
Take a dainty sip
Erika:
Never ever turn your back
"There's a time and place and way for everything!" Grace sang off-key, much to our annoyance.
Julian:
To be a princess is to never make your bed
To be a princess is
Julian and Miss Musante:
Always use your head
Once Julian placed a tiara on Erika's blonde wig, Buck, Wolfie, the cows and I bowed before her just as the Eds, battered and bruised, hurried inside the Drama room, blocking the door.
"Well, if it isn't three Eds a-dorkin'." said Buck, whom I elbowed, annoyed that he would say the "D" word.
"What?" asked Buck.
Eddy let out a groan. "She may be an old one, but that Madame Carp sure can pack a..."
He stopped himself short, gasping at what was in front of him and his fellow Eds.
"What the heck is going on here?! Costumes? Wigs? Party hats?"
"Actually, buddy, this is a detective's..." Maggie started, but Mrs. Caloway cut her off, whispering. "Not now, Maggie."
"That's what this is all about?!" Eddy asked, boiling mad. "Making us do all the hard work while you go mingle at some stupid..."
"Eddy, you're going about this all wrong. Trust us." I said.
"Trust you?" repeated Eddy. "Why would I trust you when you've taken everything I use to have?!"
"Look, just because Mrs. Kelleher's my new teacher doesn't mean I'm 'stealing her!'" I argued.
"Oh, but you were!" Eddy argued back
"No, I wasn't!"
"Yes, you...you know what? I don't have to put up with any of this!" Eddy said as he started to leave the Drama room. "And don't expect your clowny buddies to join the HMP."
"Are you saying the deal's off?" I asked.
"Without a doubt!" replied Eddy, who slammed the door hard on his way out
"Sheesh, what's his specialty, sour cream?" asked Maggie, whom I looked at, then to Double D, asking him. "Can you try to talk some sense into him?"
Double D stared at me, then said with a reluctant sigh. "I'll try, but I don't know what good that'll do."
As he made his way to the door, Ed started to bow to Erika as he did for Anneliese yesterday, but Double D stopped him, saying. "Ed, please don't. You'll cause more damage to yourself if you keep doing that."
"OK." Ed complied as he followed Double D outside the Drama room.
On seeing them leave, Julian said. "We should get going, too."
Erika nodded in agreement.