It's no secret that I'm a Nathan Grant fan, so I think it was inevitable that at some point I would turn my attention to season 8. I don't know exactly what the writers were thinking that season. So much of it didn't make sense to me or seemed to be telling a different story. I was one of those who definitely thought Nathan was going to be the choice, and I was legitimately surprised it went the way it did. That said - what happened happened, and I've never been one to try to erase seasons or scenes and just pretend they don't exist. No judgement if you do - that's just not my style.
So - this series of introspections is going to be my attempt to make sense of season 8 through the lens of Nathan. I can't promise I'll go in order, but if I ever finish it, I'll cover the full season. As with all my introspections, they'll be published as one-shots, unless I add the same scene from another character's perspective, which sometimes happens when the inspiration strikes.
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Nathan Grant rode down the gravel road on his Mountie horse, lifting his face a little to feel the sunshine on his skin. The spring was finally here after months of winter had gripped not just the town but his personal life as well.
Last fall had been monumental. After two years of inner turmoil, trying to decide what to do about his growing feelings for the woman he should never be falling for, he had taken a definitive step forward. He'd decided to step out and give it a chance. She'd given him hints that she was interested. That she was waiting for him to make a move. But he'd faltered time and time again, always letting that voice in his head stop him - the voice that said he just couldn't. He shouldn't have been surprised that the day he finally decided to step out there officially, asking her to dinner for a date in front of God and the town, was the same day things had gone horribly wrong with the prisoner transfer, sending his work life into a frenzy.
He spurred Newton forward, looking around him at the countryside, noticing the spring colors starting to peek out, inviting everyone who was bearing witness to join in the celebration of new beginnings that the season promised. So different, Nathan thought, that that cold day in the late fall - the one that had started with such promise on the steps of the jail and ended as one of the top five worst of his life. There was so much uncertainty and second-guessing in those moments on the road. Trying to make the right decision about how to approach the sister of the prisoner. The chaos after the gun was fired. Pulling Novak down and helping place him into the back of the wagon - hoping against hope that the worst wouldn't happen, but knowing that it probably would. The only thing that had felt right in the midst of the turmoil was that one moment. He had ridden Newton into town behind the wagon but dismounted as he approached the crowd. Holding Newton's reins and breathing heavily, he saw Elizabeth first - before she turned and locked eyes with him. He'd never forget the look she gave him before she ran full force into his arms and clung to him tightly.
Two things became certain to him in that instant. First, there was no doubt in his mind that he was made to hold her like that. She fit perfectly, nestled in his chest and below his chin, and as they stood there, he gently fingered the ends of her hair. He was hers, completely, and there was no going back. Any delusions he had fed himself in the past two years about having a choice in the matter and doing the honorable thing and steering clear, were shattered.
But the other realization was equally sobering. She wasn't ready. She may have flirted and danced and toyed around with the idea of entering a relationship in the past months. But the look on her face as she ran to him had been one of terror, and he innately knew that she was reliving another moment, when her world had come crashing down. A moment that she didn't know yet that he had caused. It was abundantly clear that she would need more time, and he realized that he and Lucas would both do well to give it to her.
Still, sensing that he may not get the opportunity again anytime soon - or perhaps never again at all - he kept his arms around her for as long as she was willing to cling to him there in the middle of the street, oblivious to the eyes that were inevitably focused on them. They stayed that way for days, or minutes, he wasn't really sure - long enough for their heart rates to slow and their breathing to sync together. When they loosened their grip on each other, she had looked at him intently.
"I'm so glad you're safe," she had said, her eyes still conveying concern, panic, and something else he couldn't quite place. But before he could say anything, he felt Bill grab his shoulder and call his name.
"Nathan, we need to get to your office. We'll have to call headquarters." And then he had been whisked away.
In the weeks and months of the brutal Canadian winter since, he'd been torn between the two realizations he'd had that day. He had plenty to keep him occupied between the investigation into the shooting and other Mountie business that had called him away more than once, but in the quiet nights and the bitter cold days, his mind and heart were consumed with her. There was something glorious about finally allowing himself to admit that he was in love with her. That she and Jack were just as intertwined in his vision for his future as Allie. That he could see clearly the life the two of them could build together. But those moments of unbridled optimism were tempered by his brief interactions with her.
Since the transfer, she had been quiet, speaking to him kindly, of course, but keeping conversations short and mostly about Allie. Her eyes showed that she was feeling deeply, and he could sense that there was a great deal going on inside her heart. He couldn't help but feel that she could sense it too. That pull between the two of them that was so strong. But he also knew that she was struggling. He remembered being glad that Lucas had left town just after the new year. Nathan knew Elizabeth needed time to process what she was feeling, and it was hard for her to do that when the other man was so busy actively pursuing her romantically.
The sound of a car approaching on the road behind him demanded Nathan's attention, and he steered Newton off to the side, stopping to get a look at the vehicle. Nathan just dropped his head as he recognized the driver.
"Speak of the devil," he said out loud to himself, prompting a whinny and a toss of the head from Newton. "What?" Nathan responded to his always perceptive horse, while raising his shoulders slightly. "It's just an expression."
He gave Lucas a tip of his hat as the man drove past him toward town, and, after the dust settled, Nathan turned Newton in that direction as well.
So Lucas Bouchard was back, he thought, the familiar sense of uncertainty bubbling up in his chest at the thought of the man who had become, for better or worse, the competition. Nathan had made some discreet inquiries and knew Lucas had traveled to the United States, likely back to New Orleans according to his source. He still didn't fully trust Bouchard, but he didn't not trust him either. Theirs was a complicated relationship to say the least, but that stemmed mostly, Nathan thought, from how different they were. In fact, the only thing that they seemingly had in common was their taste in women. Well. One woman. Knowing what he did of Lucas, he doubted the man would waste any time before he approached Elizabeth again now that he was back in town. And Nathan honestly wasn't sure what Elizabeth would do in response. It made deciding what he should do next complicated to say the least.
Elizabeth's words to him that day after the windstorm reverberated in his mind. "Do you want to know how I ended up in Union City with Lucas? ...He asked." As much as Nathan was still torn between his own feelings and his concern that Elizabeth needed more time, he also didn't want to assume anything. And he certainly didn't want to have to sit back and watch her with Lucas again, knowing he'd never even tried. So he made up his mind that the next time he saw her, he would broach the topic of dinner again. Just to test the waters - to make sure she knew he was still interested and that Lucas wasn't her only option. The nerves of the decision tied knots inside him, but they were coupled with a dash of hope too.
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"You take good care of your mother, okay?" Nathan said to Jack as he walked back to Newton from his temporary perch on Elizabeth's steps. That had gone...fine? He wasn't entirely sure. She hadn't looked completely opposed to the idea of dinner with him, but he'd also seen a look of apprehension tighten her facial features.
"You let me know whenever you're ready," he'd said, trying to convey clearly that she could take her time. That he would wait. But also that he was confident that this was right, this thing between them. That he knew she could feel it too. She hadn't said no, so he took that as a good sign. He'd just have to wait and see if she accepted his invitation.
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Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know your thoughts either through a review or a comment on Instagram. I'd love to hear your interpretation of Nathan's mindset at this point in the journey.