Ice Princess
"Ahhhh! Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh!"
"Tai, stop screaming! We stopped falling," Agumon pressed his lips together.
"I'm so cold, I'm dripping icicles! This is the only way I can think of keeping warm. Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhh!" Tai yelled as he stomped in the snow.
"I could think of several other ways...but I think it might be too soon to light you on fire," Agumon grumbled under his breath as he snapped some branches from a tree.
"Shit! Isn't it ironic? I think this was the cold place that we were going to explore and we decided not to...but now there's no choice! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!" Tai shivered.
"Tai, you can stop screaming! Pepper Breath!" Agumon blasted a ball of fire into a pile of logs.
"Huh...that's genius. Thanks," Tai brought himself closer to the fire and rubbed his hands together.
"Sure...," Agumon nodded stiffly.
"Agumon?" Tai asked.
"What, Tai?" Agumon gritted his teeth.
"So, this campfire is helping and all, but what if we lit up a couple more trees? Then it won't be so cold and snowy here!" Tai grinned.
"Tai...that sounds like it could be a crime," Agumon frowned.
"This frozen desert is a crime! You'd be helping nature out by melting this all away! Who needs all of this snow anyways?" Tai scoffed.
"I suppose you're right. No one's even here," Agumon looked around and paused. "Well, shoot. Here goes! Pepper Breath! Pepper Breath! Pepper Breath!"
"Whoa! Now we're talking," Tai smiled as he watched a forest of trees light up on fire.
"HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU MORONS DOING?!"
"Uh oh, I guess someone does live here after all...," Agumon winced.
"I'M TALKING TO YOU! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!" a big, white bear made of snow angrily stomped over to them.
"Oh, that's Frigimon! He's a friendly snowman, but don't worry, Tai, he's a good digimon!" Agumon nervously said.
"You sure about that? He called us morons!" Tai shouted.
"Well...I see his point," Agumon shrugged.
"Subzero Ice Punch!" Frigimon punched the ground.
"Tai, watch out!" Agumon lunged and tackled Tai.
"Agumon! He's got the black Reese's cup!" Tai pointed at Frigimon's back.
"That stupid Batman! He's relentless! Tai, boost me up!" Agumon exclaimed.
"You got it!" Tai rolled Agumon up with the snow and kicked him like a soccer ball.
"Gotcha now, you overgrown snowman! Pepper Breath!" Agumon hopped onto Frigimon's back and blasted a ball of fire at the black gear stuck inside. The black gear disintegrated into thin air and Agumon fell back to the ground.
"Way to go!" Tai exclaimed.
"What?! Not way to go!" Frigimon shouted.
"Uh, we took out the black Reese's cup from your back, you're welcome! I thought you're supposed to be nicer after that," Tai scoffed.
"Look you little shits, how can I be nice when you guys are destroying my home?!" Frigimon picked Tai up from the collar of his shirt and shook him. "LOOK! Look what you did to the forest!"
"Uh...about that. We're so, so sorry," Agumon sheepishly brushed his foot against the snow.
"Sorry isn't going to bring back all of those trees! Subzero Ice Punch!" Frigimon punched the ground and froze over the burnt trees.
"Yeah...I wish there was something we could do to make it up to you," Tai blushed.
"You know what? There is something you can do! Get the hell out of my island!" Frigimon shouted.
"We'd love to, but where would we go?" Tai bit his lip.
"Oh, I have an idea! I think there's an island that has a little shit like you on it! Maybe you should join him on it and leave me alone!" Frigimon shouted.
"So there's another guy like me?" Tai raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah, he was with a Gabumon. Looks ultra bitchy, but he definitely has to be as gay as you," Frigimon said.
"I'm not g-"
"We'd love to meet up with this guy and get out of your hair, we just don't know how we'll get there if he's on another island," Agumon interrupted Tai.
"Screw it, I'll get you guys there. Just promise you'll never come back here," Frigimon huffed.
"We promise," Agumon and Tai droned.
"Out of all the places we land, it had to be in the middle of a snowstorm," Matt said through clattering teeth.
"Hopefully it will pass soon," Gabumon gulped.
"You know what gets me? We were going to be so close to walking through this cold ass Siberia as a group if Tai was persistent enough, but now it's just you and me going through it alone! I fucking hate Tai!" Matt grunted.
"Surely, you're a little frazzled. This can't be entirely Tai's fault," Gabumon frowned.
"Really? You have no idea! Sure, we picked on Joe, but if we were to really think about it, Tai is the whole reason for this! He's the reason we get caught up in all of these stupid messes! He's ridiculously impulsive and just all around idiotic!" Matt angrily stomped through the snow.
"Wow, it seems like Tai takes up a lot of your headspace. It's like you're obsessed with him or something," Gabumon hummed.
"What?!" Matt yelled.
"I'm just saying, you think about him a lot- even when he's not here. I would have thought you'd be more concerned about where your brother is," Gabumon said.
"I...I am," Matt turned red. "TK will be fine, I think. I mean, sure, he's with Patamon, who still hasn't digivolved yet, and the most babiest of the digimon, but maybe he's not alone. Oh god, what if he isn't alone? Like he's with Mimi? Dumb and Dumber? Can you imagine those two by themselves? We need to find TK before it's too late!"
"Oh dear, I think I opened up a can of worms I shouldn't have," Gabumon winced. "Uh, why don't we go back to talking about how much you think Tai is stupid again? Wasn't that fun?"
"Not now! We have to find TK," Matt coughed.
"Matt, you don't sound too good," Gabumon looked concerned.
"Gabumon, I'm *achoo* fine!" Matt sneezed in the open air.
"Right...," Gabumon pressed his lips together. "Hey, ten o'clock! You see that log cabin? You think TK might be inside?"
"We could take a look...," Matt squinted his eyes.
"If anything, we could hang out there until the storm passes," Gabumon said as they trudged their way through the snow.
"TK?!" Matt opened the door and yelled.
"Patamon?!" Gabumon hollered. "Hmm, maybe they're sleeping somewhere."
"Ugh, leave it to them to sleep anywhere," Matt coughed.
"I'll start the fireplace. Cool Ranch Blaster!" Gabumon shot a blast of blue flame at a fireplace.
"I don't see those guys anywhere. I think we need to keep it moving," Matt walked out of the log cabin.
"But Matt," Gabumon followed him out to find him passed out in front of the cabin.
"Must...find...," Matt groaned.
"Matt! Ugh...he's just as stubborn as his boyfriend. We'll have to put the search party on hold for now," Gabumon dragged Matt back inside the cabin and placed him on a couch in front of the fireplace.
"Subzero Ice Punch! Subzero Ice Punch!" Frigimon punched the water in front of him so that it froze.
"Hey Frigimon, random question. Do you guys always have to call out your attacks when you do it?" Tai asked.
"Subzero Ice Punch!" Frigimon punched the water. "Why do you ask?"
"I dunno, don't you guys find it weird? Like you guys can see what the other guy's moves are if you get in a fight, right?" Tai shrugged.
"Huh, we never thought of it that way," Agumon tapped his chin.
"Subzero Ice Punch! Well, we don't normally have to fight each other...is that something that's happening lately?" Frigimon shot Tai a look.
"Hold on, for real? You guys don't fight?" Tai asked.
"Not really. Sometimes we have to shoo off those pesky Numemon or Ogremon, but I don't really come across them much because it's too cold where I am," Frigimon said.
"Hmm, that's interesting. We came across them on our journey and you're not kidding," Agumon said.
"Subzero Ice Punch! And there we go! Hop off before this island moves any more. My fist is getting tired," Frigimon shook his arm.
"Thanks again, Frigimon!" Tai smiled.
"No problem, just stay away from my island," Frigimon said. "Now time for me to get...I guess not. The bridge is already breaking apart."
"What? How?" Agumon said.
"Remember, the islands are still moving. I guess I'll have to stick around until my arm feels a little better. Now, don't piss me off while I'm here or I'll toss the two of you in that ocean," Frigimon jerked his thumb at the cold water.
"Uh, we'll try not to?" Tai raised an eyebrow.
"I'd say I'm pretty easygoing, just please don't burn this forest down and we should be fine. Got it?" Frigimon poked Tai in the chest.
"Understood," Tai shivered.
"Frigimon, you said you saw Matt and Gabumon here?" Agumon asked.
"I'm pretty sure that's who I saw. There's not a lot of people I see in these parts of town," Frigimon said.
"Hmm, I can imagine why...," Tai stared ahead into the snowy horizon.
"It really is getting cold. There's a log cabin out there. Maybe we should camp out there before we try looking for Gabumon and Matt," Agumon said.
"Not a bad idea. If we stay out here any longer, I think we'll get sick," Tai shivered.
"Oh god, I don't want to catch any germs," Frigimon made a face.
"Hmm, looks like someone's already here. Hello?" Agumon walked into the cabin.
"Hey..."
"Gabumon? Is that you?" Tai raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. Can you close your eyes for a quick second? I need to get dressed," Gabumon hid behind a table.
"Get dressed? But you don't wear clo-"
"Look, Matt's wearing Gabumon's fur," Agumon walked over to a couch.
"Wow, the lad looks like an ice princess," Frigimon winced at a sleeping Matt.
"He's still cold?" Gabumon sniffled.
"Yeah, but you're not sounding too hot yourself," Tai said.
"I'll be fine," Gabumon sneezed.
"Oh god, please tell me you're not sick! Look, I'll look around for food and whatever and you guys get yourselves sorted out!" Frigimon winced and walked out of the cabin.
"For someone who's cold, he's sure freaked out about catching a cold," Tai smirked.
"Gabumon, here," Agumon handed Gabumon his fur back, averting his gaze.
"Thanks...," Gabumon sheepishly said and stepped out from his hiding spot.
"I didn't know your fur was removable," Tai said.
"It is, but I try not to remove it. I look weird naked," Gabumon said.
"Hey, we all look weird naked. Except me, I'm proud of how I look- I think I'm the perfect example of the male standard of beauty," Tai flexed his arm and winked.
"More like the perfect example of male stupidity," Matt remarked.
"Matt! How are you feeling?" Agumon exclaimed.
"Probably good enough if he's got the energy to insult me," Tai scoffed.
"It doesn't take much energy to do that. There's plenty of material to go on about with you," Matt retorted.
"Oh brother...out of all of the people to get stuck together, why did it have to be these two?" Agumon placed his claws over his face.
"It might seem like animosity, but I think there's just a passion between the two. After all, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference," Gabumon said.
"What are you saying? That they like each other?" Agumon looked confused.
"Look at them right now and tell me that they don't at least care about what the other one thinks," Gabumon shrugged.
"No, you're stupid! We should try to make our way back towards the mountain! If I think we should make our way back to the mountain, I bet you everyone else is thinking the same way!" Tai poked Matt in the chest.
"Nobody thinks the same way you do! That's why we even got separated in the first place! Because dumb shit keeps coming out of your mouth and you keep pissing everyone off!" Matt shoved Tai back.
"But you guys still listen to me, so who's the real dumb one now?" Tai smirked.
"We don't listen to you, you just bully or annoy everyone else to do what you say! That just makes you not only stupid, but an asshole too!" Matt tackled Tai and shoved him against the door to the cabin, breaking it off its hinges.
"Oh boy...Gabumon, wanna change your statement now?" Agumon whispered through his teeth.
"You're the asshole! No one has a problem following what I say except you! What's your deal? You just want to be different or something? Daddy doesn't love you enough, so you try to seek attention from strong men in other ways?" Tai heckled.
"Shut the hell up, you don't know me! You're the attention seeker, you wannabe class clown!" Matt punched him in the face.
"Oooh, you think your dainty baby fists will hurt me? I'll show you what a real man's fist feels like!" Tai clenched his fist.
"Oh yeah? Where is the real man?" Matt scoffed.
"He's right here!" Tai punched Matt in the face. "And if that's not good enough for you, next one's going in your ass!"
"Oh yeah? Promis-wait...," Matt rubbed his face and frowned.
"Yeah, you made that weird," Tai grimaced.
"No, you made that weird! You're the one who started it by saying you wanted to shove a fist in my ass!" Matt poked Tai in the chest.
"Yeah, but you were begging for it!" Tai poked him in the arm.
"Oh no...," Gabumon and Agumon looked at each other.
"Why would you even think of shoving a fist in my ass? You like me, you pervert?" Matt pushed Tai in the snow.
"I think you're the pervert! It was just an expression, like if I said I was gonna stick my foot up your ass- but would you take that as a sign too?" Tai pulled Matt down in the snow and rolled around.
"Hey, stop twisting my words around! You know exactly what I meant!" Matt shouted.
"Oh yeah, that you apparently like to be the bottom, you little princess!" Tai heckled him as he shoved him deeper in the snow.
"Guys, watch out! You're getting close to the edge of a cliff!" Gabumon winced.
"Oh, isn't that Matt's favorite thing? He likes edging!" Tai kept punching Matt.
"You fucking idiot, they said we're going to fall off a-"
*crumble crumble*
"Ahhhhh!"
"Tai!" Agumon yelled.
"Matt!" Gabumon gasped.
"Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!" Tai shouted.
"Tai, stop screaming!" Matt huffed, as he held onto a branch.
"I can't help it! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!" Tai wrapped his arms tighter around Matt's waist.
"Hey guys, any help here?" Matt hollered.
"We're trying but we can't digivolve. We don't have any energy," Agumon sighed.
"Ahhh!" Tai continued to scream.
"Tai, shut up before you cause an avalanche with your big mouth!" Matt kicked and bucked.
*rattle rattle*
"Uh oh...I think you might have told me a second too late! Ahhhh!" Tai held on tighter to Matt.
"And yet you continue to scream your head off," Matt grumbled.
"OH YEAH!" a large, white, hairy yeti popped up from the wall of the cliff, causing Matt and Tai to fall.
*boink*
"Ahhhhh!" Tai screamed.
"Hey kid, stop screaming!" Frigimon frowned.
"You broke our fall, thanks...," Matt blushed.
"Sure, whatever. Just please don't do it again. I might be made of snow, but that still hurt," Frigimon sternly said.
"Sorry," Matt sheepishly said.
"I was able to find some food and tea leaves- hopefully they'll help with your sickness," Frigimon said to Matt.
"Ahhh! Ahhhhh!" Tai screamed.
"Wow, he sure is noisy," Frigimon gave Tai a disapproving look.
"Wouldn't you be too if a Bigfoot popped out of a mountain like the Kool-Aid man?!" Tai shouted.
"Oh, Mojyamon? He's a harmless guy, he doesn't like fighting," Frigimon said nonchalantly.
"Would someone like to tell him that? He's coming this way!" Tai exclaimed.
"Oh brother... I'll talk to him. Here, take the food over and share with the guys," Frigimon said before stomping off.
"Dude, check it! The yeti's got one of those stupid black gears on his back! This is getting out of control!" Matt huffed.
"Let's hurry and get the food over to the guys! I don't know if Frigimon can handle that guy by himself!" Tai said.
"Tai, Matt! We're glad you're okay!" Gabumon ran up to the boys.
"Yeah, you can thank Frigimon for that. Here, he brought some food, eat it! He's fighting a bigfoot by himself and he's gonna need backup!" Tai shoved a piece of bread in Agumon's mouth.
"The guy's got one of those black gears in him, so that's where you want to aim!" Matt crammed some cheese in Gabumon's mouth.
"Roger," Agumon swallowed his food. "Ready, pal?"
"Ready," Gabumon nodded.
"Agumon digivolve to Greymon!"
"Gabumon digivolve to Garurumon!"
"Go get him, guys!" Tai shouted.
"Nova Blast!" Greymon aimed at Mojyamon.
"Whoa, watch it! I'm made of snow, you know!" Frigimon jumped back.
"I think it's safe to say you can step down now. You've helped us more than enough! We'll take care of it from here!" Garurumon said.
"If you insist!" Frigimon shrugged and stood by the sidelines.
"Howling Blaster!" Garurumon shot out a blue flame from his mouth.
"Ooomph! Not oh yeah at all!" Mojyamon fell, his back hitting the side of the mountain.
"Matt! Look!" Tai pulled Matt by the sleeve of his shirt.
"What the hell? Is this whole mountain made of black gears?" Matt gasped.
"Nova Blast!" Greymon spit out a ball of fire.
"Heck, I got one more left in me...," Frigimon trudged back to the fighting scene. "Subzero Ice Punch!"
"Ooof!" Mojyamon finally collapsed, a black gear popping out from his body and disintegrating into thin air.
"Guys! Don't celebrate yet! Look behind you!" Matt shouted.
"Oh no! Are you serious?" Greymon groaned.
"Are those the things that you're trying to take out of the digimon?" Frigimon asked.
"Yeah, these things are bad news! They're brainwashing digimon to be aggressive and sign people up for gym memberships that they can't cancel!" Garurumon explained.
"Oh, that is truly messed up! You know what we have to do," Frigimon said.
"Uh...," Greymon and Garurumon looked at each other.
"Destroy them? So they don't end up anywhere else?" Frigimon waved his hand.
"Oh, right!" Greymon and Garurumon nodded.
"I thought I was a pretty easygoing guy, and then I met these people. Turns out, it doesn't take much to piss me off...," Frigimon grumbled under his breath. "Subzero Ice Punch!"
"Nova Blast!" Greymon shot a ball of fire towards the mountain.
"Howling Blaster!" Garurumon destroyed a couple of black gears.
"Guys! The island is moving closer to the big mountain! I think we're doing something right! Keep doing it!" Tai exclaimed.
"On it!" Greymon said.
"Tai, you know what? You might be a doofus, but maybe things will turn out alright," Matt put his hands in his pockets.
"Was that supposed to be an apology?" Tai raised an eyebrow.
"I wasn't apologizing. I'm just trying to be optimistic," Matt pressed his lips together.
"Sure pal," Tai smirked and patted him on the shoulder. "Maybe you're right. Maybe things will work out, even if you're a jackass."
"Dumbass," Matt playfully nudged Tai.
"Jackass," Tai nudged him back as the island drifted off.