"I hate to ruin this," Burke said stifling a yawn, "But I'm not going to be able to stay upright for much longer," he straightened to look Hel in the eyes.
"Oh, right," she pulled back from him, slipping from his arms and stepping away, "Um…you'll want to go to bed then."
"Yes," he put his hands in his pockets. He didn't want to give her the idea he'd grab for her, even if it was exactly what he wanted to do. "I'll…see you in the morning," he turned to go.
She came up behind him and hugged herself tight against his back, "Sleep well," and she released him as quickly as she'd latched onto him.
He glanced over his shoulder to find her scrubbing the plates in the sink. "You too," he said, and under his breath, "Love."
He found his way back to the mattress in the closet he'd found earlier. He was so exhausted that it looked as inviting as his bed back in Tenpenny Tower. Now if only I could get Hel in here- He cut off the thought. She'd been more than accommodating. If he pushed any further, he was worried she'd close herself off from him. The kiss had been more than he'd ever expected. He laid down and let his mind drift back to how good it had felt to hold her in his arms again, how she tasted just as he remembered. Sweet and pure. He licked his lips and closed his eyes. For the first time in a long time, he fell asleep without a drink and gun for company.
…
Hel found Charon at the top of the satellite dish, looking out over the Wastes. His legs dangled over the side as he watched the sun go down. She came up beside him and offered one of the beers she'd brought up.
"Thanks."
She sat next to him, "You're welcome."
They sat and drank until Charon asked, "You happy?"
Hel sighed, "Happy's probably too strong a word for it. Conflicted. Scared," she took a swig of beer, "Hopeful."
"Sounds like love," he eyed her sideways.
She scoffed, "Yeah. Guess it does, huh?"
The sun disappeared over the horizon and Hel finished her beer. Cranking her arm back, she threw the empty bottle as hard as she could. They waited for the sound of shattering glass.
"Not bad," Charon tossed his. It took longer and the sound was further off.
"Pfft, as usual," she rolled her eyes but smiled.
"Where's lover boy now?"
"His bed."
"His bed."
"Yes, his bed," she scrubbed her palms against her pant legs, "I'm not ready… He has to earn his way back into my bed."
Charon nodded, "Smart."
She raised an eyebrow at his tone, "You don't agree?"
He shrugged, "Not my place to say, kid. I'm not saying you should let him in if you're not ready. I just know starving people when I see them."
She knew he wasn't talking about food. She sighed, "That's why. I don't think I could trust myself not to become a glutton tonight."
He chuckled, "Fair enough."
Hel stretched and yawned, "Alright, I'll see you in the morning." She stood to go.
"Hey, kid," he grabbed her arm, "You still have it?"
Hel smiled and pulled his contract out of her pocket. "I always have it, Charon." She leaned down and hugged him.
He returned it with one arm and a grunt, "Good. I wouldn't want anyone else to get their hands on it."
"Thanks, Charon," she whispered.
"G'night, kid."
…
Charon watched her climb back down the hatch. He could already see a difference in her. She was at ease in a way he couldn't remember since they'd first started traveling together. Lover boy did the trick. It was a relief but at the same time it hurt. The man could show up and fix something Charon had been trying to make better for over a year.
He'd long since made peace with his place in her life. Slave, friend, maybe even brother, but never anything more. He wasn't an idiot, he knew a creature like her would never settle for him. Still, it didn't stop him from sometimes wondering, if he'd still been human…
"Don't torture yourself," he sighed, watching the stars appear in the sky above. He knew his worth, it was contained in that contract. He didn't need anything else if he knew she carried it. It was more than enough for him.
…
Burke woke with a start and for a moment had no idea where he was. His dreams had been filled with heated moments of Hel in his arms. He was clutching a pillow and shoved it away with a sigh as he sat up, rubbing the sleep from his face. It was quiet. He couldn't hear Hel or the big ghoul moving around. He got to his feet and stretched his arms over his head. He easily found his way back to the kitchen and opened the fridge to see what he could feed the gnawing creature in his stomach.
The scuff of a boot brought his head up to see Charon standing in the doorway.
"Morning," Burke said.
Charon grunted and gave a nod, "Glad to see you stuck around."
Burke grabbed a mutfruit and elbowed the door shut before leveling the ghoul with a steady stare, "She shot me. If I was going to leave I would have done it then."
The ghoul snorted and came the rest of the way into the kitchen. "Can't really hold it against her."
"I don't." Burke grabbed a clean looking knife from the sink and started cutting the mutfruit.
Charon pulled his own mutfruit from the fridge and leaned against the counter. He looked Burke over, "You look better than when I found you. You don't smell like the ass end of a Brahmin anymore either."
Burke raised an eyebrow. He held the knife out handle first. Charon took it with a grunt. "I never did thank you, did I?" Burke bit into the hard fruit.
Charon shrugged, "Didn't do it for you."
"No, but thank you anyway. Especially since it was for her."
The ghoul didn't respond. They stood there eating their breakfast in silence. It wasn't exactly companionable. They both looked up when Hel came down the stairs.
"Oh," she looked between both of them, "Good morning."
"Good morning, lo-" Burke bit off the endearment when it was halfway out of his mouth.
Charon smirked at him and straightened from the counter, "Morning, kid."
Hel smiled at Burke and narrowed her eyes at Charon as he walked towards her. "Playing nice?" Burke heard her ask quietly.
"Always," Charon slipped out the kitchen and Hel turned back to Burke.
"Did you sleep well?" she asked.
"Better than I have in a long time. You?"
She opened the fridge and hesitated before answering, "Yes." She leaned down to grab a box of snack cakes, "I dreamed about you."
Burke choked on a bite of mutfruit and she turned to him with a knowing glint in her eye. "Yeah?" he tried to sound nonchalant.
"Mmhmm," she lifted herself up to sit on the counter and popped the box open. Her bare feet swung slightly as she plucked out a cake.
Burke sensed a trap, but his urge to hear about her dream won out. "I hope it was a good dream."
She shrugged, "Not as good as the real thing." She popped the snack cake in her mouth and watched him as if to say 'your move'.
He finished the mutfruit and wiped his hands on his pants. He moved towards her, trying to judge her reaction as he went. "Should I be worried or flattered?"
"Depends."
"On?"
"What kind of dreams did you have last night?"
He could lie, but he knew she already suspected the answer. He let his eyes wander down her body and back up, "You already know." He stepped closer, still several feet away.
Hel popped another cake into her mouth and tilted her head to one side. "Do I?"
Was she teasing him? Testing him? Punishing him? He moved within arms reach of her knees. "You're always in my dreams," he went with a safe but still truthful answer. "Ever since that first night, after-" he swallowed and glanced at her neck, "After you gave me your first kiss."
"I gave away a lot to you," her formerly playful tone took on an edge. She took a deep breath and looked down at her toes as she exhaled.
He took another step forward, almost between her legs now. "Yes. And I cherish all of it."
She met his eyes. A bit of the fire he missed was there. She glanced down at his lips, then back up to his eyes, "We've been making love in our dreams this whole time, haven't we?"
He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
"I was never able to get you out of my head. I even thought about moving on, but…" she looked away again, "You marked me in more ways than I thought. Jericho offered," she glanced at him.
Burke couldn't help the sneer that lifted his lip, "Of course he did." If he so much as laid a fucking finger on her…
She smiled, "I turned him down."
Burke was still ready to kill the man. "You're enjoying this," he said, "You know how much I want you and you're playing with me."
She leaned forward, "Sucks, doesn't it?"
"I never played with your emotions."
"What do you call leading me on for all this time?"
"I didn't fucking know I was leaving for good." He stepped forward and she sat back, "I certainly didn't do it with the intention of hurting you." He was within inches of her, her lips were parted and she was looking right at him with her beautiful blue eyes. "I fucked up, and I admit that, but everything I ever did, I did because I love you."
"You like using that excuse."
"For fucks sake, look at me," he held his arms out, "Do I fucking look like I've been having a good time?"
"Do I?" She shoved against him, sliding off the counter into what little space was left between it and his body. "I think about you every night. Every night I dream of you touching me, of being with me. Then I wake up to this reality and I'm alone. I lose you all over again every fucking night! And now you're here and I-" her voice hitched on a sob, "I hate you but want you and-," tears were coming now, "You're so imprinted into me that I can't think straight." She gripped his shirt front and pulled herself against him. He had his mouth on hers, desperate and hungry. She whimpered against him and opened her mouth to slide her tongue against his. Stop this, before it gets out of hand. He shoved that half of him away. She felt too good against him, he didn't care if they were both seriously damaged. At that moment, they needed each other.
He scooped her up into his arms and back up onto the counter. She pressed her body flush against his, hands raking into his hair and through his beard. Her legs wrapped around him and pulled him in tight. That small part of him was still shouting for him to stop and was unfortunately getting louder. He pulled back, mouth raw from her desperately passionate kisses. Cupping her face, he took a steadying breath.
"I don't know that we should do this if you're still angry."
She was gasping for breath, lips red and eyes burning through him. The fingers of one hand curled into his shirt and tugged him in again, mouths crashing together. She was just as hard to resist as she'd always been. Every part of him wanted to drown in her, to bury whoever Burke was and just be part of her shining light. She needs love, not sex right now. But the voice was getting quieter again. She was a wildfire and he felt powerless against her need.
"Guys, please not on the counter," Charon's voice broke through to both of them and they turned as one to find him standing in the doorway, "I eat off there."
Hel's legs released Burke and he took a step back. She slid her hand across his chest to his shoulder and down his arm. He interlocked his fingers with hers and she hopped down from the counter.
"Thanks," Charon said and left them, "Plenty of room on your bed, kid," he called over his shoulder.
Hel huffed, "I-I don't-"
Burke smoothed the back of his free hand against her cheek, "Let's get some air."
She swallowed and nodded. Keeping their hands together, she lead him up to the top of the tower. It was a cool morning. The sun was just above the horizon, making their shadows long and gangly behind them. Burke raised their joined hands over her and pulled her back up against him. He wrapped his other arm around her and rested his chin on top of her head.
"We're a bit of a mess," she said, squeezing his hand and raising her other hand to hold his forearm.
"This whole world is a mess, love."
"I thought I told you not to call me that?"
"I'll stop if you really want me to."
She shook her head, "No… I've missed it," she gave a heavy sigh, "I want things to just be how they were. I want to just be able to be with you without feeling like I'm being tricked."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"When I woke up this morning, I was worried maybe I had just dreamed you again. When I saw you standing in the kitchen, I was so happy. But every time I feel happy that you're back, another part of me gets scared, and that makes me angry."
"What would convince you that I'm never leaving?"
She shrugged, "I don't know… Time, I guess. And-" she cut off.
"Tell me, love."
She shook her head and he let it go. She'd let him know when she was ready. The curve of her neck beckoned him and he bent to nuzzle her and breathe in her scent.
She squirmed and gave a giggle, "Your beard tickles."
The sound of her giggle made his heart soar. He bent to do it again, holding onto her tightly.
"Ah! Burke!" she squealed and laughed, "Stop it!"
"God I've missed that sound," he murmured.
She leaned her head back against his chest, "You were very fond of my noises."
He grinned, "Mmm, I've missed all your sounds, but I don't think I should try to get you to make the others out in the open."
"Hmm."
"I really did dream of you every night," he set his chin up on her head again. "I tried drinking you away, but every night you appeared." He thought about how many times he tried to work himself up to taking his life and remembered Charon's words, She's committing slow suicide thanks to you. Tentatively, Burke slid one of his hands down her ribs and into the space between her shirt and pants. She gasped and jerked against him as he grazed a finger along her bony hip.
"Burke," she breathed.
Heat swept through him at the way she said his name. He used his other hand to tilt her face up towards him. He waited until she met his gaze, his hand at her hip gently rubbing back and forth. "You're ingrained into me too, love. The memory of your body is carved into me. I'll never get enough of you." He closed his lips over hers.
Hey guys! Sorry for the shorter chapter but the next one has quite a bit of happenings in it. ;) I'll try and get it uploaded earlier in the next month so you aren't left hanging. June is always a busy month for me. Thank you for continuing to read my story!
Much love,
Meg