Dazai doesn't trust, it's just not in his nature.

His entire life has been a series of both life and people disappointing him. It happens over and over again to the point where he has just learned to never get excited over things anymore because he's so used to meeting disappointment in the end.

Every time he opens his heart and tries to trust it fails. Like how he used to hang out at Bar Lupin with Ango and Odasaku, back when he was in the Port Mafia. That was one thing in his life that made him excited, that made him feel more up to the thought of giving his life a chance. However, just like every other event that promised glad tidings in his life that one too ultimately failed.

In the end, Ango was a heartless traitor and Odasaku was left to die.

So over time, Dazai just learns not to feel, because if you don't feel anything then nothing can ever truly hurt you.

The annoying thing is that it's always been different with Chuuya. Dazai just can't bring himself to lose total trust in his old partner. He just can't bring himself to completely stop caring about him.

Generally, Dazai can separate himself from reality, becoming a spectator in regard to his own life.

He can't do that with Chuuya.

He's never been able to figure out why or maybe he just doesn't want to admit it, but Chuuya's always made him feel more human. Whenever he's around him, it's like Chuuya's a tether pulling him back to reality from the abyss upon which his mind usually resides, separate from all else.

It's why Dazai considers Chuuya to be such a despicable card for Fyodor to play. In pulling Chuuya into their game of wits, Fyodor is trying to expose Dazai's humanity to make him hesitate and allow that demon to arise victoriously. Still, while Chuuya may expose Dazai's humanity just as Dostoevsky knows he does, Dazai's always been a good actor, or else he would not be where he is now. So with that knowledge in mind, Dazai gets ready to set his endgame in motion.

Chuuya and Fyodor are already trapped in that fateful room and Dazai knows that he can not mess this up because if he does, it won't just be Fyodor that dies, but Chuuya too.

He grabs the microphone before him.

Taunts leave his mouth, as he brags about his impending victory to Dostoevsky, while he glares with a clenched fist pressed against the ceiling. If Dazai were anybody else, the look that Fyodor is giving him right now would send chills up his spine. Yet, he is Dazai Osamu, so instead all he feels is indifference and perhaps a bit of disappointment that everything is going according to his plan so easily.

Why is everyone so boring in the end?

Then, he looks at Chuuya, the one fatal flaw to his plan.

There's a part of him that wants to say nothing to his old partner because if he does that means he's giving Fyodor a confirmation that he has successfully picked Dazai's one weakness and in doing so was successfully hurting him. He doesn't want to give that demon hope because doing so could ruin everything.

But Dazai can't help but say goodbye.

Just in case… because a part of him is terrified that his plan will fall through and then he'll never get to say a fulfilling goodbye.

He's so scared of going through the pain that consumed him with Odasaku's passing again. So perhaps, if he uses this goodbye as a failsafe it'll hurt less if everything goes to shit.

So he says goodbye. Just in case, because it's not like Chuuya will actually die right? Dazai would never let him die because it would just be so disappointing if he lived longer than him.

"Chuuya, this is also my farewell to you."

Something churns in Dazai's gut, so he reminds himself once more that this isn't a farewell. No. It's just a precaution.

"It's unfortunate that it had to come to this, but from the seven years since we met, all we've done is quarrel with each other," Dazai continues, accidentally making eye contact with Chuuya through the security feed for the first time. Before he'd been too scared to stare into the soulless eyes caused by Bram Stoker because in doing so he'd have to admit to himself that the Chuuya he grew up with, the only one who made him feel human was truly gone and replaced with something else, something different.

So then why, when he looked into Chuuya's eyes, did they look so startlingly human?

"There were moments when our hearts reached out to each other. Now that I think of it like-" Dazai's gaze shifted and lost focus as if looking at something no one else could see. Thoughts of times since passed with Chuuya filled his mind, as he reminisced over those simpler times.

He was so scared that this was a real goodbye.

As soon as that fear entered him as a conscious thought, however, Dazai immediately came back to reality and remembered the game.

He couldn't let Fyodor know how much he cared about Chuuya, so in a moment of impulsivity, Dazai took back everything he said.

"Sorry, there weren't really any! Well then. Goodbye."

Why did he say that? Why the fuck did he say that? Does he care about beating Fyodor that much? What if Chuuya dies and that's the last thing he ever says to him.

Dazai doesn't get scared, so then why does his chest feel like it's constricting his heart, a fake smile tugging at his cheeks.

Terrified human eyes disappear under the pull of the water and Dazai watches just hoping that all goes according to plan, because what he just said can't be the last thing he ever says to Chuuya, because even though he may not always show it, he loves him.

At least as much as Dazai is capable of ever loving someone.

"We actually won," a voice sounds from behind him, almost causing Dazai to jump, being so lost in his thoughts. He'd honestly forgotten Sigma was in the room for a bit.

Was the possibility of losing Chuuya affecting him that much?

Carefully concealing his innermost thoughts with a relaxed posture and a large smile, Dazai beckoned for Sigma to come closer to the security feed until he was standing right next to him.

In silence, they watched the darkened feed, consumed by the water until suddenly a bright red burst from somewhere deep within the room, which seemed to pull all the water from the room.

Perfect. His plan was working then.

Arahabaki stood in the center of the room. Blood is already streaming from its eyes, ears, and mouth, causing a bit of worry to settle in Dazai's gut, which only translates outwardly through the slight narrowing of his eyes.

Still, everything was going according to plan, so Dazai forced himself not to rush in to save Chuuya from the grasp of corruption just yet.

He watched as Arahabki approached Fyodor, the demon who was the only one to ever really challenge Dazai mentally. Finally, he would be able to dispose of the man and place him in an indubitable checkmate from which there was no chance of recovery.

The demon had lost.

Or that was what Dazai thought until he saw Dostoevsky reach out and fearlessly place a palm upon the god.

He would kill him. Arahabaki was far from innocent and Chuuya being a Mafia Executive on top of that would certainly mean the end.

Dazai might actually lose.

Except, instead of Arahabaki falling to the floor dead, a rare look of shock passed across Dostoevsky's face instead, as the god stayed standing and thankfully alive. A black hole expanding in Arahabaki's fingers flew from his hand and gruesomely tore Dostoevsky's head from his body.

What?

Dazai watched his rival's body hit the floor, as blood spurted from his neck.

He stared at the hand which reached out as if looking for salvation. Salvation Fyodor would now never find and felt like everything had been sucked from within him.

There was another opponent, defeated yet again by him.

That was one of the greatest curses of Dazai's life, everything came easily to him. Sometimes he wished he was able to be as genuinely surprised as someone like Sigma, whose jaw was practically on the floor at the sight of Fyodor's headless body.

It wasn't that Dazai wanted to be defeated. He liked winning just as much as the next person and yet what bothered him was that everyone was so easy to predict. Of course, he wasn't as good at it as Ranpo, but Dazai was still able to always think ten steps ahead of his enemies with great accuracy.

That was what made his life so boring and pointless. The predictability of it. For what point is there in living if you always know what happens next?

The god fell to one knee and Dazai was flung out of his dark thoughts.

Shit.

He had to get to him now. What had he been doing just standing around? Fyodor was gone, there was no use thinking about it any further than that. If he wasn't fast enough, Chuuya was going to die.

Dazai sprinted out of the room, surprising Sigma who had up until that moment been frozen in shock at the sight of the image of a brutally murdered Fyodor filling his vision. Dazai could hear the sound of footsteps sounding behind him, but didn't even check to make sure it was Sigma and not some guard hellbent on killing him. All he could think of was saving Chuuya.

He couldn't end seven years with the words that he'd said.

He couldn't let Chuuya die like that.

Making it to the door that led to the room, Dazai punched in the code overriding the lock controls, and waited for the door to open.

Gradually, it opened, much too slow for his liking, as he slammed his fist into it in a rare show of impatience, because he had to get to Chuuya now. Finally, it opened with a resounding bang and Dazai rushed into the room to find an image that would forever be burned into his mind.

Chuuya was laid collapsed on the ground while the god inside of him sapped away all of his strength. A hand raised in his direction, but nothing came out of it as though something or rather someone was holding the god back.

For a moment Dazai just stood there horrified at how late he was until the true implications of the scenario finally fully burned into him and he sprinted towards Chuuya, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder to nullify the god.

Soulless whites were once more taken over by what should've been a vibrant blue if not for how faded they were now, ridden with pain and suffering.

Dazai watched as Chuuya curled up into a fetal position and a moan filled with pain left his mouth. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. What if Chuuya died like this? What if he died believing that Dazai never cared? The possibility made it feel like a knife was twisting in Dazai's gut. True regret stirred within him.

In a rare moment of vulnerability, Dazai sat down next to him, running a soothing hand through his hair.

"Chuuya… Chuuya, I'm so sorry. I need you to hold on okay? Please stay."

Chuuya said nothing in return. Instead, he just coughed, causing more blood to slip from his mouth. Dazai felt sick.

There was just so much blood and his body felt so broken as Dazai pulled him onto his lap, in an attempt to comfort him while he looked over his injuries.

The silent scream that followed would forever be branded into his brain.

Dazai was so scared that he was going to lose Chuuya. This was the one fatal flaw of his plan. Originally, he thought he'd only be up against Dostoevsky, but Chuuya being with him had been a wild card and now he was paying the price for not accounting for such a thing in his initial planning.

Chuuya was the one person who made him feel things. The one person who he felt comfortable being more vulnerable with because Chuuya was one of the only people who saw underneath the façade and saw who Dazai truly was as a person. Yet, somehow he still stayed.

Dazai couldn't lose him.

"It's going to be okay, Chuuya," he tried his best to reassure him, discovering more and more of the horrible state that Chuuya's body was in.

If he didn't get medical attention soon, he would die.

It was just too real and too much and Dazai was so tired and he just-

"Please don't go," Dazai choked on his own words, as tears began to slip down his cheeks, curling his body protectively over the smaller mafioso. "This wasn't supposed to happen. I can't lose you too. Please. Not like Odasaku. Chuuya, I-"

Dazai couldn't breathe. This wasn't right. Why was he feeling so much? He wasn't supposed to feel this much, but as he stared into terrified eyes which were beginning to blink shut, he felt himself panicking and couldn't think of what to do next.

Chuuya closed his eyes.

"No, no, no, no, NO! Chuuya wake up!" Dazai shook him by the shoulders, "Chuuya, please! Don't leave me… this wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to save you! Just… Chuuya, please… I love you."

Hiccuping sobs consumed Dazai as he pulled Chuuya into a tight embrace. If he were feeling well, Chuuya would probably cuss him out for ruining his clothes with his tears, even though they were already drenched in water. The thought of that almost made Dazai laugh before a spasm of pain racked Chuuya's body pulling him back to the present.

Dazai buried his face into the crook of Chuuya's neck.

He'd miscalculated. He was too slow and now he was going to pay for it.

"Don't go, don't go, please. I'm so sorry... I'm so so so sorry..."

There was no answer to his pleas, only the sound of a fading heartbeat.