SLIPPERY SLOPE — PART 3
Alicia sat on the edge of the windowsill when it seemed Nick was attempting to sleep again, mentally digging through her memories of the hospital and the various treatments she had seen performed there. She hadn't been allowed to help with cases as serious as stab wounds, but she had watched the nurses and doctors work, picked up a few tips and tricks. All of those injuries had been afflicted with a knife, however, and from the looks of things that's not what had happened to Nick. His wound was more circular. She didn't think that mattered much when it came to how to best treat him, but the burned and drying skin surrounding it definitely made things more complicated.
She brought a leg up with her on the sill, resting her chin on her knee, eyes closed as she tried to recall when it was best to leave a wound open, and when one should close it.
The bleeding had stopped and it only started anew whenever Nick put strain on it. Which meant it was more likely the crazy bitch had nicked some of the lesser veins and capillaries.
Alicia had already cleaned the wound several times and there were no signs of debris stuck in his flesh, which lessened the risk of infection, but far from removed it entirely. If it did get infected… there would most likely be puss. And if she were to sew him up, there'd be no way to drain the wound.
They had to leave it open.
She opened her eyes again, feeling a slight sense of relief that she wouldn't have to torment Nick further by repeatedly stabbing him with a needle. But there were still precautions they needed to take to ensure the wound would not get infected. They had antibiotics, but only in pill form, and seeing as Nick was currently refusing to swallow anything, that wouldn't do any good. Antibiotic ointment would have been better, but that was not in their current inventory. What could she use as a decent substitute? She wondered…
When the idea came to her, she slipped off the windowsill and silently headed for the door, unsure if Nick was truly asleep or if he was still just trying.
Downstairs, Troy was preoccupied with a bowl of food and the radios. She spared them a quick glance, happy at the thought of their batteries being charged so they could start to make use of them again, and headed for the kitchen cupboards.
She crawled onto the counter, kneeling so she could reach the top shelves as well, and rummaged around, shuffling various food items aside in her hunt. She reached for a bottle of honey, read the label, then put it aside again, moving onto the next.
Manuka honey. Jackpot.
Troy'd put the battery pack and its cradle next to the TV, plugging it into an outlet there so that it could charge. It needed a full six hours and they'd be able to go for a couple of days again. Only this time it would be on another channel and only used in case of emergency. There would be no fooling around on it or even giving their locations unless really necessary. Troy switched the device from radio to CD player, unperturbed as some classic violin bullshit echoed through the speakers, music was music and he was a bit over the silence of his mind. He picked up his second bowl of soupy noodles, eyeing Alicia as she climbed onto the counter and proceeded to search. "Sweet tooth?" he asked once she appeared to pull out a honey container. "You might want to start with something with more nutrients first, I recommend the noodles."
She peered out at Troy from behind the open cabinet door, putting the jar of honey on the counter before easing herself back to the floor. "It's for Nick's wound. Antibacterial and it's been proven to heal burn wounds very effectively." She looked back up at all the tins of food, the fact that the cupboards were fully stocked having somewhat escaped her notice until now. "They must have left in a hurry…"
"Seems like. How'd you learn that thing with the honey?" Troy looked at her curiously, scooping more noodles into his mouth, preparing to follow her upstairs so he could see her apply the stuff. You learnt something new every day.
"Hospital," she said, grabbing the jar and a butterknife, and made her way upstairs with him in tow. "It's being used more and more these days. It even comes pre-packaged on certain bandages." They didn't have that particular luxury, however, and would have to make do with the DIY version. Didn't matter. Wouldn't make it any less effective.
She was quiet as they re-entered the bedroom, seeing as Nick still appeared to be asleep. Like before, she checked his pulse after putting her things on the nightstand, and what she found worried her a little.
"His heart is racing," she murmured just loud enough for Troy to hear, moving her hand to Nick's forehead. "His temperature is down a little, though."
She crouched beside the bed to peel the bloodied bandages away, giving them to Troy when she finished so he could dispose of them. She gently dabbed the new traces of blood away, then smeared a layer of honey onto the clean gauze, carefully laying it onto the wound and fastening it with another bandage on top.
Nick grimaced as a jolt of pain speared his side, and vaguely became aware of having dozed off sometime after the bathroom visit. Didn't feel like a long time, and though his pain level got lower, his heart still thudded too fast, and he felt hot.
Alicia was dressing the wound again. He grunted and forced his eyes to open to look at her. Troy stood behind her like an apt pupil, absorbing the view over her shoulder.
Troy stood against the edge of the mattress beside her while she worked, shoveling more noodles into his mouth and taking the offered bandages with his free hand. He looked around, found a dustbin in the corner of the room on the way to the bathroom, and tossed it inside before returning to watch her clean away blood and dab honey onto the gauge. Science was weird shit. Troy'd never even known about that, but if he still had Broke Jaw to return to, he would have taken that little nugget of information with him.
"Honey?" Nick murmured, wondering if he smelled and felt it wrong.
"I know, right?" Troy said. "Who thought that could be good for anything but facemasks and pancakes." He looked to Alicia. "Did you have a medical career planned for after high school or did you just teach yourself all this crap for the hell of it?"
Alicia gave Nick an apologetic smile for having woken him, and made the last adjustments to his bandages before getting back on her feet to leave him be. For now.
"I was a volunteer nurse at our local hospital," she said, twisting the lid back on the honey jar. "Picked up a few things. As for a medical career… I don't know. I got an early admission to UC Berkeley. Wasn't sure what I wanted my major to be."
"I think you were pretty done with medicine and all about it back then already," Nick put in, wincing, closing his eyes again.
He knew her well, her brother. He was right, of course. The only reason Alicia'd even entertained the notion of going to medical school was because it had been such a necessity in their lives. Not just with Nick, but Dad as well.
She gave him a small smile of confirmation, but wasn't sure he saw it.
"How come lights and water are working here? Can't be maintained without people. So this house must belong to someone or someones who is or are still around. You thought about that?"
Troy never even got that far in his school career and nor did it feel like something he had missed out on. He was happy with the ranch, with tending to it and later utilizing it in a way he'd never had ever imagined a couple of years back had the world not fallen apart. He nodded, wondering if Nick was saying that because they were linked somehow and she was striving to rid herself of reminders. "Oh, it definitely belonged to someone, their vehicle is still in the garage. And yes, Nick, I have thought about that, only they haven't jumped out at us from the bushes and as far as I can tell this place was abandoned. I figure they might have got some governmental help and that someone is actually running the electricity for themselves because none of it appears to be linked to a generator. You worried?"
"It may not be safe in the long run, but it's what we've got for now. We can't move you again so soon." Alicia raised her bloodied hands to indicate she was going to go wash them, and disappeared to do just that.
"I've no energy to worry, Troy, but it's suspicious." Nick glanced at him tiredly, glimpsing Alicia disappearing in the corridor. "I don't think it's wise to sit here like rabbits in a cage and just enjoy that sudden luxury, because it doesn't happen in this world anymore. You know that. It might be a trap. It might be anything at all. I really don't wanna think about it right now, but can't help it. Not after all we've seen so far."
"I've already planned to check it out in the morning when there is actual light to spare, for now, we'll go easy on the lights, keep the movement to a minimum and we should be fine. We came in pretty quickly and I didn't have to go out the front to bring our stuff inside, so, I think we have time to play around until morning at least, but if you feel better about it, I'll keep watch and make sure no one sneaks in here in the middle of the night to snuff us." There were some movies that Troy saw tucked away downstairs and even a game console.
Nick sighed, wincing. "You both need sleep, as much as you can get, but spending a night at a place like this without keeping watch in turns is, well… stupid. You and I both know that very well by now. Unless you'll go ahead and call me paranoid this time."
"Fine, we'll take the night in turns. Although, given the fact that your sister has been sleeping like shit lately, it doesn't really seem fair that she should undertake that part of the plan in a house like this. I think she could use the downtime. You know she's cracking, right?" Troy got closer so that he could whisper. "She's been doing a lot of crying, a whole lot, more than I'm comfortable with."
Nick frowned, studying Otto's face. He did seem uncomfortable, out of his league. Nick marveled with the faintest of smiles sneaking quickly across his lips before he hid it. Who knew, Troy learned to care about yet another person. As small as it was, it was still a progress.
"If you take our mother for an example of how it's supposed to be when a person keeps it together, you're way off, man," he said with mild amusement. "Crying is a healthy way of relieving emotional pain and stress. She's not cracking. She's dealing. If you won't turn and run every time you see her cry, it'd be nice. Because for now, you're the main guy she can count on to help her if shit happens. Okay?"
Madison was the perfect example of what a person should be like in crisis, somewhat, at least Troy'd thought as much when he first started dealing with her. He wasn't so sure if he agreed with that sentiment anymore, but to hear Nick back it up and shoot down the Clark's older example made him feel funny in a way that was wholly unfamiliar. "I haven't run, I mean… I didn't even turn, she's the one that shields herself from me. What makes you think she wants my help? You know she resents me for the whole horde-o-walkers taking out everyone drama, I'm not exactly shoulder-crying material for your little sis, that's your job."
Nick started to laugh quietly, regretting it because of every stab to his side it caused, but he couldn't really help it at once. It took effort to stop, but he couldn't bury the smile.
"I'd love to be the man for the job, but sadly, I can't exactly take the whole load, being probably the main reason of her cracking, as you so gently put it." He sighed, wincing and trying not to laugh again. It wasn't easy to refrain. Troy's face expressed almost the same amount of helpless confusion as Nick read in there the night he pushed the pills to him. "She's strong, but even the strongest tree can snap under the right pressure. I'm sure she doesn't expect or demand anything, but she probably needs support. Even from you. Because there's no one else, and she's not a robot."
"Okay, well, instead of lecturing me, tell me how to do that. Sex is obviously a no go, she doesn't want to hit me and work off all that rage and the hugging wasn't entirely unpleasant, but I'm also not sure she's going to let me do that every time a tear springs up. I need options, Nick, I need dirt. She's your sister, how's her brain tick?"
The urge to roll around laughing was so strong Nick almost gave in, but then it lessened. It was good. Pills helped with the pain and relaxation, but they couldn't make the wound disappear. "I'm not lecturing you. Nor can I lay out the schematics of her brain for your study, Troy. Come on, no one can teach you how to be there for someone when they're hurt or scared or worried. If you're at a loss, try to remember others who you knew were good at it. You had Jake. He was good at it. Just remember. Analyze, if it's what you do. No one can teach you better, because Jake was there for you in your time of need. That's how you know. You were there."
Jake was there for Troy and put up with a lot of his shit, but like Troy's relationship with Mike it was different to what was acceptable to the norms. They put up with a lot, of which eventually caused a rift, one that became bigger and Troy let Madison escalate between him and Jake to serve Troy's darker impulses. The shameful thing was that Troy hadn't imagined there would ever come a point where it would snap, that he could keep pushing the limits and Jake would still have his back, until the time that he didn't. Troy'd brushed it off and accepted it as a final consequence of his actions because he wasn't stupid enough to think that he didn't deserve it, that Jake might be tired of playing big brother to the indefinable black sheep, but Troy'd been bitter anyway. He couldn't do that here because, as always, it was complicated, and unlike the past, it didn't call for complicated solution but a simple one, and contrary to belief Troy did learn from his mistakes. He didn't want to fuck up this time – not like he might have.
Alicia washed her hands and splashed some water in her face, intending to make her way back to the boys, but briefly got distracted by the bedroom she had yet to closely examine. It was about the same size as the others, but held a larger wardrobe which captured her interest. There were plenty of clothes in there and she made a mental note of returning here to find herself some new outfits before they left the house behind for good.
She returned to Nick and Troy, catching the tail-end of their conversation. They were talking about Jake? Troy looked uncomfortable again, so Alicia assumed it had something to do with feelings and emotions. Perhaps some secret guilt harbored over his brother's death?
Nah, that was asking too much.
"Pain is bad again?" she asked Nick, frowning at the strained expression on his face. "I only gave you the Oxy a few hours ago."
Troy shuddered as if someone had walked over his grave, and cast a look at the door as Alicia entered and addressed Nick. Troy stepped, bringing the bowl of now cold noodles that he'd forgotten for a few and shoveled it into his mouth.
Nick only got to see how Troy began to mull it over before Alicia came back and he stepped away still looking flustered.
"It's not too bad," Nick smiled at her. "It'll get better if I manage to sleep. And you two better lock the doors and windows, just in case."
Seeing Nick smile, especially when it didn't seem forced, always had a soothing effect on her. As if he was making a promise everything would be all right. Alicia gave a smile of her own and nodded. "We will. I'm gonna go grab something to eat. You sure you don't want anything?"
"Just water, thanks." Nick wasn't sure he could keep anything else down yet.
Even that was progress, and Alicia was happy for it. She headed for the box of food they'd brought with them from the motel and withdrew a new bottle of water, putting it on the nightstand where Nick could easily reach it without straining himself. "Okay. I'll be downstairs."
It seemed like she had interrupted their conversation, and though she didn't feel particularly guilty about that, she still gave them the option to continue without her prying ears. She headed down to the kitchen and started to search the cupboards again.
Troy cleaned his bowl as Alicia left, and set it aside on the bedside table before making himself comfortable on the mattress next to Nick. "This house is kind of nice, heavily stocked, we should stay here awhile while you recover."
"You know that ancient wisdom about free stuff, right?" Nick smirked and shook his head. "I don't believe in miracles or coincidences like this. I'd like it to be what you wanna see it as - a safe harbor miraculously stocked, up for the grab. But I don't, not really."
"I never said I saw it that way, I said it was nice, had a decent layout, a working TV and an assortment of DVD's old and new that we can work through. I mean—to kill time. I'll take a decent look around town tomorrow, see how and why the powers working and if it's for any other reason than some old dude wanting to live vicariously through reruns or let his wife bake bread then we'll leave. No harm, no foul. I think this was an industrial town though—"
"Be careful. It might be nothing, or it might be a trap we don't wanna be in. A fully stocked house with water and light sounds too good to be true."
"I am always careful, Nick, it's you and your sister than are less motivated to listen to that voice inside your heads, although, to be fair, hers was drugged. I'll be fine, you just take this time to get better before cynicism draws the next big bad. Speaking of, don't suppose you can remember what your stabby lady friend was talking about or where she was from when you were with her? Where she was headed?"
"There's nothing like that to remember," Nick said, not particularly happy to think back to his chained time. "She didn't talk much, mostly reciting that I'll make you stronger shit. I know she used to be a teacher, she knows how to read people. She recognized my addiction from just watching me when I picked up that damn heroin baggie." He reflected for another moment, and added: "I think she had something to do with those junkies' death at the church. I think she might've brought the infected to wipe them out while they were high and unable to fight. She wrote a message on the walker that distracted me while she came up from behind and knocked me out. She hates any weaknesses, be it addiction or helping people. She'll kill that person you traded for me. Maybe not at once."
Alicia found a can of SpaghettiOs in the back of the cupboard, and as she opened it and poured the circular pasta and tomato soup into a bowl, she was flooded with childhood nostalgia. It had been her favorite once upon a time, to the point she had refused to eat anything else for a full week. Mom had damn near lost her mind. It was funny.
Alicia heated her meal in the microwave, found a spoon, and settled on the couch to eat. With the music in the background and a view of an infected-free garden, it almost felt like old times.
"I didn't figure she was going to be keeping him as a sex slave," Troy said. "How come she didn't kill you though? How come from all those druggies you're the one she decided to make stronger? Did she say? She went through a lot of trouble to get us to Texas and even more for us to grab that guy and to make the trade. Why did she even set you free if she wasn't going to wait around to see the consequences of her supposed healing?" Everything Troy'd been wondering about over the last few days he was spitting out now before Nick next went unconscious in hopes he'd at least help Troy put things into order.
Nick didn't really know what to tell him. He hadn't come close enough to unraveling her mystery and getting a hold of what was driving her. Aside from anger. There was a lot of anger beneath her endearing smile – that much Nick had felt. Especially after she stabbed him.
"I'm not that much of a mind reader, Troy," he confessed, shooting a short smirk his way. "I don't suppose she was gonna let me live. She made me drink water, she shot me with the powder, but I didn't feel as good as I could've, and… I don't know. Maybe it's something else, but it just… it was weird how shitty I felt, and there was nothing but that water. It didn't taste funny or anything, but I just can't shake that idea that she was spiking it with something.
"And then I tried to run. She was out, and I managed to open the handcuff. I'd have died in the desert if she didn't find me. Which was my fault – I went too close to the road. I needed water and there was a car… She probably figured it all out. And I felt all kinds of shitty and dehydrated, couldn't think straight. I barely remember anything after that. Only that she stopped giving me water. She gave me gin. Hell knows why.
"I've no idea, whatsoever, why she didn't let me die, because… things she said… It's like she thinks that making someone strong means making them turn. After death. Like… when you're one of them, you're the strongest."
"It sounds like we went through hell. Not that I didn't have a fair idea before but actually listening to you explain it, her plan makes no fucking sense. If you're right about that after death strength, maybe she isn't finished with you? Or maybe she figures you're already strong given all the trouble you gave her. You do know that if I ever see her face or even pick up on a hint of that grating laugh of hers in my vicinity that I'm not going to hesitate to put a bullet between her eyes. I'm not even going to be arguing about that, Nick, and nor do I want to hear any of your all life is precious and she's crazy and didn't know what she was doing bullshit. She knows what she's doing, and if we're lucky someone is going to put her down."
"I hope you never see her face – if you ever saw it, to begin with," Nick muttered, closing his eyes. "She's not your problem, and shouldn't be your problem."
"She's your problem, therefore she's my problem," Troy stated. "Am I missing something?"
"Yeah, that it's over. You sold another life for me, and it's over. She got what she wanted."
"I don't believe that it is over, Nick. She brought us hundreds of miles, make us fish for her target while being fully capable of doing so herself, and after what you yourself said about her motivation – she simply set you free. You said it yourself, nothing comes for free, there has to be a catch, I only hope it's not some slow acting poison or something."
"If there was a poison, it's gone now," Nick said lazily. "It hurt a lot, made me feel sick, with all the cramps and something like fever… What I have now is not the same. It's the wound and withdrawals. She's not one to let go. If she let me go, it means it's over. Or maybe she thought I might not avoid death, after all. The last shot could've been an overdose. So, I might've survived by mere chance."
Nick could be right, it wasn't as if he were in fitting fly form when they got him back and he had been in and out of consciousness. Could it be that she was expecting him to die? But then why do so if she can't see him? She'd dragged him for miles! Was the exchange and the person they'd found for her really enough to make that something she didn't need? "Maybe, you were… are pretty fucked up. Fine, I'll put her out of my mind for now. I'm charging the radios but I don't think we should use them on the same channel we did before and if we do go back to using them it should only be in case of an emergency."
Nick turned his head to cast an amused, studying glance at Troy. "Are you being the paranoid one now? You think she's going through channels to find us again?"
"What else does she have to do in the apocalypse, Nick? When you find your calling, you go at it with full force. And she went there, she went there hard."
Nick shrugged and closed his eyes again. "We're not her calling. If I'd have to pinpoint it, I'd bet on those truckers who help people. One of which you caught for her."
"Perhaps," Troy agreed, running out of theories to present and speculations that he hadn't already. "How you feeling now? That Oxy finally helping numb the pain?"
"A bit. Not all of it, unfortunately, but to sort of bearable – yeah."
"How much of that are you going to need? Should I find more?"
"I… I don't even know right now, it's hard to judge. For now, you don't need to go anywhere and look for anything. You need to take it easy, too. Alicia's not the only one who can get tired. You're not a cyborg yourself, Troy. Better get some sleep before your night watch."
"Fine," Troy could do with some rest anyway, and if he was honest, like food, he enjoyed that portion of the day, too, especially on a decent mattress. "But you better do the same and I also suggest you don't do something stupid like venture outside, yeah? Not until I find out what this place is about tomorrow." Who knew if Nick'd get a spurt of energy and what he'd suddenly decided to do. Troy shuffled down on the bed, fluffed the pillow he'd been using as a prop, and laid his head down on the cushion, rolling onto his side to face away from Nick and try to sleep. "Oh, and you should definitely eat. I don't think those noodles have expired yet. I had two cans."
"I appreciate your care, mom, but no, thanks," Nick muttered, trying to relax enough to doze off before the new bouts of suffering arrived.
Alicia ate and grabbed a can of soda from the fridge, tasting it experimentally and deciding it was still okay to drink. She brought it with her as she wandered the first floor, exploring and familiarizing herself with the rooms even if she knew they wouldn't stay long enough for that to be necessary.
After a while, she opened the basement door and headed downstairs, switching on the dangling lightbulb in the middle of the room so she could look around. There were several cardboard boxes stacked under the stairs holding some old clothing, tools, toys, and Christmas decorations. She opened the box of Christmas stuff and rooted around, smiling to herself as she pulled out four jingle bell ornaments, an idea forming in her head.
In the box of tools, she located a hammer and some nails of various sizes, taking them all with her back upstairs. Alicia nailed two of the ornaments just above the front door, and the other two over the door leading to the backyard. It wouldn't keep them safe, but it would certainly make a hell of a lot of noise if someone actually managed to get the doors open without them noticing. DIY alarm system.
She finished her soda while admiring her work, then made her way back upstairs to check on the boys.
Sleep doesn't come easily, perhaps because Troy wasn't trying, merely resting his eyes, listening to Nick's ragged breathing and the distinct sound of hammering. That was the thing about a quiet house and nothing to break the stagnancy. He didn't hear anything else and his Spidey senses weren't tingling so he didn't bother to check it out. "Maybe we should have a James Bond marathon," he commented, casting a look at Nick to see if he was still awake.
Alicia peered into her brother's room, taking note of both Nick and Troy on the bed together, seemingly asleep until the latter turned his head and murmured something about James Bond. Nick didn't respond.
"He asleep?" she whispered, lips quirking in a small smile. "Or just ignoring you?"
Troy would have prodded Nick in the side to check but didn't have a particular interest in hurting him or waking him if he was in fact asleep – he needed the heal time. "Could be a bit of both. Does he even like James Bond? Do you?"
Alicia leaned against the doorway, musing. "Not sure. Don't know if he's actually sat through an entire movie since his early teens." After that his addiction took over. "We watched a few of the old ones with our dad when we were kids. He liked them, but personally I think Bond is a dick."
Aside from reading, working on the ranch and tending to everything in-between, Troy saw himself as quite the movie buff. The one thing that he and Mike had in common as kids and allowed them to bond. Even Jake used to indulge with him. Those were good times. "How's that? He too much of an entitled and well-adjusted chauvinist for you?"
"Add rapist to that description, and then you'd have it." Alicia's gaze moved to her brother's face, watching him in silent thought a moment before continuing. "Nick likes westerns. Also something our dad would watch with us. Well, him. I didn't like them much either, but I tried to. I just wanted to like what Nick liked."
Rapist? James Bond? What movie had Troy missed and who of his collection of skirts was his victim? All of them always seemed pretty into it. He shook it off, noted what she'd said about the westerns and followed her gaze to her brother. Was he simply listening to them talk or was he actually asleep? "Young guns it is," he stated, swinging his legs off the bed, sitting up so that he could easily slid to his feet. "I'll grab the Brady bunches TV and haul it upstairs. Don't suppose you saw any popcorn in the back of the cupboard while you were hunting your honey?"
"I didn't," she said, moving out of the doorway and into the room to get out of his way. "But I didn't look for it either."
She wasn't sure Nick would appreciate them both crowding his space while in his injured and drug-addled haze, but the prospect of sticking close to him did make her feel a little better.
"Might be overkill on the normalcy," Troy commented, spearing a last look at the bed where Nick still lay with his eyes closed before heading out. "I'll be back in a minute."
Alicia gave a nod of acknowledgement and claimed the spot on the bed Troy had just vacated, leaning her back against the headboard, eyeing the changing colors of the sky outside and listening to the sound of Nick's breathing.
The radio was still playing softly in the background as Troy descended the stairs, reminding him of home, of the ranch and when Jeremiah used to listen to his old sixties records while he toiled through his ongoing slew of paperwork. He turned it off and scanned the interior of the house, observing the extra additions Alicia had added above the double doors, and then unplugged the TV and the machine they'd need to be able to watch the movies with. He carried first the heavier flat screen upstairs, setting it within the doorway where Alicia could push it to where it would work for all of them, and then headed back down to collect the player and the intended movie.
When Troy reappeared, Alicia got back up to pull the TV into the room, considering where to put it. They'd hardly see it if it was on the floor but there wasn't really any other good spaces to place it.
She headed for the other bedroom and cleared one of the nightstands there, carrying it back to Nick's room so she could balance the flat screen on top of it. It would do.
She grabbed a few pillows and blankets from the other rooms as well, so they could all get comfortable, and settled on the floor with her back against the foot of the bed. She worried if she stayed any longer on that soft mattress she'd fall asleep and therefore be unable to get much rest when night came.
Troy walked back into the room a few minutes later, flinging the DVD's at the space beside Nick on the bed and pleased to find that Alicia had found something to prop the TV on. The blankets and pillows were a teenage wet dream and he could remember Jake setting up movie nights that looked almost exactly like it when he was a kid, in fact, Jake'd gotten his first kiss at one and even fooled around a bit, a rite of passage Troy'd missed out on since his schooling had been cut short.
"I'll lift the TV and you slid this under it," he suggested, walking over to the TV, waiting on her to move and to take the thing from him before lifting the flat screen.
Alicia pushed back onto her feet, took the DVD player from Troy and slipped it beneath the television when he lifted it, moving to its back to identify and connect the various wires.
"Keep the volume low," she warned as she bent down to plug the two devices together. "If he's able to sleep, he should."
"Agreed," Troy said while she busied herself with the wiring, carefully crossing her mini fortress of blankets and pillows to retrieve the movie. He opened the cover, waited for the light to come on to show that it was working, and then inserted the disc before turning on the TV and finding the AV settings. The entire process was like riding a bike and before long he was situated at the foot of the bed like she'd been when he walked in.
While Troy busied himself with the DVD, Alicia moved to check on Nick again, intently eyeing the hollow at the base of his throat to see of his pulse was going steady. It took her a while before she caught the movement, and then felt temporarily soothed. She didn't want to wake him up by poking and prodding him just because she was worried.
She settled on the floor again, hugging one of the pillows in her lap, and directed her gaze to the screen as the movie started playing.
"What is this, again?" This whole thing seemed so strange, felt so out of place, like she was stuck in some weird dream that dulled her senses.
Troy checked the sound of the player and the TV, made sure that it was no more than background noise, so that, once the characters started shooting, Nick wouldn't wake up in the start or panic. This kind of frivolous activity in the open wasn't something they were used to anymore, and now that they'd made the arrangements and were beginning to settle, Troy was feeling like a bit of an idiot. It was one thing doing this at the ranch where he'd lived all his life, and another thing entirely in a place they just happened to stumble upon with all the amenities and extras. "You said Nick liked westerns, so I went with Young Guns. There are others to choose from for later though, seems whomever was living here before collected quite a lot."
"This is fine," she said, relaxing back against the bed, taking in the movie with mild interest. She recognized a few of the actors, though they looked significantly younger than in their last movies. She wondered if they were still alive, out there somewhere fighting for their lives like they were. Or if they had turned and were currently chomping on breast- and butt-implants all over Hollywood. That was a disturbing image. "This the kind of movies you like too?"
"I prefer movies like die hard and hitcher but I can live with westerns, cowboys chasing Indians, guns a blazin', what's not to like about that?" Troy would have preferred another choice of word, but considering her earlier breakdown, he thought it was too early to fully be himself just yet. "What about you? What did you like to watch before things went to hell?"
"I was really into horror for a while," she admitted, thinking back on those days. It had mostly been because she was terrified of falling asleep before Mom brought Nick home from whatever drug den she'd pulled him from last, and the horror kept her awake. "You know the ones who make you feel high on the adrenaline rush. And fantasy. I liked those. Shark movies. Sharks in general. I had a shark-themed eighth birthday party. Mom tried to make me a shark cake. It looked more like a salmon, but I appreciated the effort."
"It's hard to imagine Madison baking a cake," Troy stated, finding it hard now despite Alicia's story to imagine her in an apron and fretting about an eight-year-old's party. His mother had never been domestic like that but did her part to keep up appearances, she had no choice as Jeremiah ran a pretty tight ship and he was the one who controlled the finances. "Do you still like horror?"
Alicia shrugged. "She's a decent cook." Though she couldn't even remember the last time Madison had made her something. They used to have family dinners every night, but that stopped once Dad became reluctant to join them, and Nick rarely came home anymore. "I don't know. A lot of the time it feels like we're living in a horror movie now."
"That's why I asked, I was wondering if your perspective on that had changed after everything." Troy's hadn't. In fact, he felt like it made him more creative in areas.
"Don't really need horror movies to get that adrenaline rush anymore. So yeah, I guess my perspective has changed." This felt weird, too. Having a civilized conversation with Troy Otto like normal people, people who didn't stab walking corpses on a daily basis.
"Is there anything you actually miss about the old world? Going to the mall, shopping…"
"Of course there is," she said, glancing over at him. Surely he had things he missed, too. "I miss being able to change my clothes every day, showering whenever I want to, going to sleep without worrying I might not ever wake up. But some things are better now than what they were," she admitted, briefly looking back over her shoulder at Nick. They were so much closer now than they had been, and she'd forgo all the normal luxuries in the world if they could keep it that way. "What about you?"
"No," he answered honestly, he didn't even have to really think on it. "Personally there's nothing I miss about the old world, it was limited and judgmental to me. Although, maybe new movies, but there are a lot out there that I haven't watched yet and maybe in time I'll get the opportunity to see them. Let's not even get into the books, music, all these things have inadvertently become relics, part of our history and treasures. Literally everything has value now and nothing can just be thrown away. Not people, not material objects, everything quite literally has a place now."
He thought over what he'd said, what they'd experienced, and briefly threw his own look over his shoulder to see if the movie had perhaps stirred Nick back to the land of the living.
Alicia wasn't sure he comprehended how strange that sounded coming from his mouth. That everyone and everything had value. Other than Nick, and now Alicia because she was Nick's sister, Troy didn't seem to have much regard for human life.
She wasn't going to call him out on it, however. Not now. Another argument would surely wake Nick and add to the stress his body was already going through.
"I'll be heading out early tomorrow," Troy said, "soon as the suns up to see what the towns about, do you want me to stop in at a clothing store and see if there's anything you might like? We're going to be here awhile, the waters hot, the waters free flowing, might as well live the dream while you can."
"No, I'm okay," she said, surprised by his offer but not ungrateful. "Found a bunch of stuff in one of the closets here. Should supply me with what I need for a while. I'm sure Nick could use some new clothes, though. Most of his are covered in blood."
As for 'living the dream', it was tempting. But she knew it was just an illusion that would make the cold reality of their existence that much worse if she allowed herself to get used to it. She would shower, though. She would give herself that gift.
"You bringing a radio?" she asked, as she had seen him charging them downstairs. "Is that safe with her still out there somewhere?"
"Yeah, I'm taking a radio but only in case of an emergency and to warn you guys if trouble is incoming. I'm skeptical about that woman being out there, listening, waiting possibility for your brother to give himself away again but Nick also assured me that he doesn't believe we're her focus. He thinks that she has some kind of vendetta against the truckers and that dude we nabbed. Still, to be safe, it'll probably be a good idea to work on a different frequency, limit our space time and watch what we say about where we are. Do you think she's finished with him?"
"She said if she ever crossed paths with him again, she'd take him," Alicia murmured, the memory unpleasant and piercing her with a stab of conflicting guilt. Because of Alicia, she'd said. Because Alicia had given that poor man a knife to defend himself with. "So, no, I don't think she's finished with him. I think she's sick and vengeful and that whatever mission she is on is her only reason for living. That makes her dangerous."
"It does make her dangerous," Troy agreed, feeling his paranoia return again at full force. He didn't like to think of himself as crazy or to compare himself with someone who quite clearly was, but there was a determination and bloodthirst that they shared. What she was doing or did was no worse or better than he did, the only difference was their numbers and a clearer understanding for their victims. Troy was upfront while she spoke in infuriating riddles. "You need to tell Nick that because his has a completely different impression, and once he is on his feet, might end up making a mistake and get himself kidnapped again."
"I will," she said quietly, not looking forward to that conversation and having to admit she'd probably endangered Nick's life because of what she did. She hugged the pillow a little closer to her chest, her gaze back on the screen, though her attention completely elsewhere at this point.
The guilt was quite literally written on her face, and for a time Troy considered reiterating that it was either him or them, but she knew that. There was no room for sentimentality or principles and you had to pick your battles.
You either made the hard choices or you surrendered.
He fixed his gaze on the screen, catching up to what they'd missed while they were talking, and silently watched the remainder of the movie, significantly more tired by the time the credits started to roll. He scrubbed a hand across his eyes, sat up and stretched lightly. "I'm going to see if I can find some coffee, you want a cup?"
She shook her head, struggling to keep her eyes open at this point. "You mind taking the first shift?" Now that all the drama of the day had faded, her sleep-deprivation was setting in full force, and she felt close to passing out. So much so she contemplated just staying on the floor. She managed to get to her feet, however, pulling the pillow and blanket with her as she stood.
"I don't," he answered. "Is there anything that is going to need to be done for Nick? He mentioned Oxy…"
Alicia slipped her hand into her pocket and pulled out the baggie of pills, handing it to Troy for safekeeping. "He needs to swallow it this time. No more shooting up. It's too risky and the effects wear out too quickly. No more than two. And don't leave that bag anywhere he can get to it."
Troy took the baggie, mentally counting the pills, and then slipped it into his pocket for safekeeping. "How does this work? Like flu medication? Every six hours?" He cast a final look at Nick to make sure he was still out cold, and slowly started toward the door so she could go get one step closer to the sleep she desired and he could head for the kitchen.
Alicia put a hand on his arm to halt him, making sure he was paying attention because this was very important. "God no. When swallowed, those pills last for 12 hours. He's not even supposed to take two, but because of his addiction his body will need a higher dosage to get the right effect. No more than that, though, okay? He could die."
Troy turned back to face her, bestowing her with the focus she clearly wanted. "So, only if he really needs it? Cold sweats and rocking?"
"Yeah." It's not like Alicia wanted Nick to be in pain. In fact, if she could, she'd give him the whole damn baggie if she didn't know it'd end up killing him. "We need to be careful. It won't help if we get him off heroin only to have to wean him off Oxy as well."
"Sounds complicated. I'll take care of him," Troy offered once they started their separate ways.
She cast one last glance at Nick over her shoulder, reluctant to hand the responsibility of his wellbeing off to anyone else. But she had to. Just long enough to recover. She carried her blanket and pillow out into the hallway and to the next bedroom, leaving the door open so she would know if something happened, and collapsed onto the bed.
Troy headed downstairs, found the kettle, added some water, and waited for it to boil. After a quick search he found a decent mug and made himself a quick instant coffee. He flicked through the collection of movies, found something else to keep him entertained, and made his way back upstairs, lightly sipping at his coffee as he went so that he wouldn't spill.
Nick was still asleep when he entered the bedroom.
Troy exchanged the western for the comedy and made himself comfortable at the foot of the bed, grateful for the extras to help pass the time.
When Nick woke up to a cacophony of pain reverberating through his body, it felt as if he had just closed his eyes five minutes ago. It disorientated him, and in a hazy mind, he wondered what could have happened to those two pills he took in the bathroom about thirty minutes ago or maybe an hour.
Fever wrapped its sweaty, flaming wings around him tightly, injecting his bones with poisonous ache that kept gnawing with its tiny teeth that kept growing and sharpening as it did. His heart was trying to escape his chest, breaking up his breathing, stealing his air.
He groaned, pushing the covers off, trying to inhale as much as he could, because his lungs felt constricted.
Nick's groan cut through the speech of the movie, urging Troy to his feet and Nick's side within seconds. "What's going on, Nick?" From what he could tell Nick was trembling, sweating, and slightly pale with fever, but Troy had no idea what to do.
Troy sounded worried; Nick registered it in the back of his mind before its focus flipped back on the torment. "I need… another shot…" Nausea was starting to raise its head, which was bad. It didn't let him climb out of dehydration as soon as he wished to.
"Alicia said not to give you any more shots, they don't work as effectively." Troy returned to what remained of his coffee and set it down on the bedside table. "Do you think that you could swallow a pill? I could break it up for you and you could take it bit by bit."
"Alicia can be a good nurse… but she's not… been through this shit." Nick swallowed, shivering, trying to stop his teeth from clattering. "If you break it up, it's… no good… I need… an injection… I'm sick, Troy… I'll throw up if I swallow it…"
"Look, she said that the injection isn't the way to go, she said that you have to swallow the pills and I trust her judgement on this because she's on the outside." Troy didn't like seeing Nick this war torn or feeling like he, Troy, was arguing against air when he had no idea what he was talking about. If he hadn't asked everything he did before, he'd have caved immediately. "She also said there was a higher risk of killing you with the injection and I have no intention to do that. If you can stomach it, I still have some coffee left that you can wash it down with, it'll combat the taste, and it might help you keep it down."
Nick grunted, partially with pain, and partially vexed. "I can't stomach… anything right now… it's injection or agony at this point…"
"Can you at least try?" Troy asked, producing the baggie and helping himself to a single pill. He slipped the rest back into hiding, claimed his now cold coffee cup, and let the pill hover over his mouth in invitation. "Open up."
The smell of coffee, usually very welcome, seemed to be offending Nick's senses this time. His stomach churned painfully, making him gag. He turned away, sucking in one urgent breath after another. "No… I can't… I can't…"
"Have you always been this much of a baby, Nick?" Troy asked, eyebrows furrowing at the look of disgust that swept over his face. He hadn't even tasted it, either. "Fine, forget the coffee," Troy set it aside on the bedside table in case he changed his mind. "Dry swallow the pill?"
Nick ignored the baby remark, too preoccupied with efforts to not throw up. It didn't feel he had much to give, and the cramps were an overkill on his already miserable existence. "Don't be stupid... I'll throw it up... And then it's useless..."
"Then you throw it up," Troy stated, feeling as if he were being imbued by Jeremiah and his mother on the unfortunate days they had to give him medication when he was sick. "We have more and we won't know if you'll be able to keep it down until you actually do it. Just. Try. I'll slip it in, all you have to do is swallow."
"Don't touch me," Nick hissed, shooting him a brief warning look. "If you're not gonna help, stay out of it."
Troy withdrew the hand just in case Nick thought to bite him. "I'm trying to help you, Nick, you're just being a stubborn asshole about accepting it."
"You can't help me like that. No one can."
"Yes, they can, if only you'd accept it."
Nick closed his eyes, bracing for it, then pushed himself into a sitting position. A comber of nausea rolled through him, and for a moment, he thought he lost that battle. But then it subsided, and he got up gingerly, and started out of the room.
Troy scowled watching Nick use the strength he could have used to swallow to pill to purposely go on some rebellious kick. Troy didn't stop him, though, didn't get in his way as he stood and started shuffling, but Otto did follow him. "Where are you going?"
"Bathroom," Nick barked, pulling the said door open as he darted a look at Troy. "Do you mind?"
"Nope." Troy raised his hands in mock surrender, then perched against the wall in case he tipped over or something.
His legs were trembling as Nick urinated. It was still obvious he didn't get enough water. And nausea wasn't letting go, gripping more insistently the further he descended into withdrawals. He thought of the pills hidden in the back of the drawer. It's like so many times back at their house. Everybody and their dog know what he needs but him. It pissed him off. He was so tired of it his very soul was sick.
He turned on the cold tap, splashed some water in his face, drank a handful, then another. It didn't ease the sickness, but the coldness of it sobered him up a little. He needed all his strength to help himself get through it.
Troy was outside, leaning against the wall.
A bit further down the corridor stood a box with meds.
"Where's Oxy?" Nick asked.
Troy raised the hand still holding the pill, pinching it between two fingers extending it toward Nick.
Nick took the pill and headed down the hall, stopping at the box to pick up a syringe. The stairs swam in front of his eyes, but the railing saved him an ugly fall. His limbs refused to cooperate and screamed to get back to bed.
Just one last stretch, he thought, gnashing his teeth. Just one.
Troy silently shadowed him down the stairwell, refraining from reaching for his shoulders when Nick looked like he was going to tumble face first or collapse at the bottom.
He didn't, though.
The coffee aroma still lingered in the kitchen, making him sicker. Ignoring the smell, he tried to draw deeper breaths to push back the urge to part with two handfuls of water he took in the bathroom. He felt like an empty vessel containing nothing else but that. Like if a wind blew, he'd fall down.
And god, how hot it was! His side was throbbing somewhere deep, from ribs to hip, adding to nausea.
He pulled the drawers out until he found utensils, and grabbed two spoons.
Troy followed him the rest of the way, slipping his elbows onto the kitchen counter to lean on them and watch him rifle through the kitchen drawers.
Troy arched an eyebrow at the spoons, reminded of Madison again and wary of what Nick might try to do if Troy intervened. "Nick, if you need help with something, just say so."
Nick poured a bit of water from the tap into a glass and sat at the table, catching his breath. He put the pill on the spoon and started grinding it with another. "You know the wisest thing ever?" he said, methodically crushing it into the powder. "Want something done the way you want it done – do it yourself." He added a few drops of water into the powder with another spoon, shuffled the mixture with the tip of it, then fished his lighter from his pocket and lit it under the spoon.
"Your sister is going to be pissed," Troy mused, satisfied he'd only given Nick one pill instead of two she said he might need. If he did go so far as to inject himself, then at least he'd be at less risk? Troy cast a look behind him while Nick funneled together the science of his next hit, and wondered if he should go get Alicia so that they could hash it out with Nick or at least be present in case something went wrong. "I don't like this, why don't you just try and swallow it as is with the water or something."
"Because I can't," Nick said, putting the lighter away. He ripped the plastic pack of the syringe open with his teeth, pulled it out, and carefully collected the mixture into it. "You'll have to trust me to take care of me, because I've been doing it for years."
Nick's speech does little to lessen Troy's anxieties since he'd heard mixed reviews about Nick's ability to look after himself when it came to drugs.
Nick pushed the plunger, ridding of the air bubbles, then pocketed the lighter, and got up to his feet. He pondered a moment, then scooped the spoons and rinsed them, and the glass. He put them all in their places and started back to the room. It was a longer road, and he was barely keeping it together. He swept the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand and turned to the bathroom, shutting the door on Troy. The light was brighter here, and Nick needed to see the vein.
Troy considered kicking the door open to at least be present, but he didn't see it going down well. He walked to Alicia's room, observing her while she slept, weighing up the options of waking her up and telling her what her brother was doing, but what would she be able to do about it that he couldn't? All they'd end up doing was arguing and then her sleep would go for a ball of shit again.
Not that he should care.
Nick turned on the water, took another handful, swallowed with effort, then quietly pulled the drawer and took the Lortab bottle from the back. He threw a pill into his mouth, then washed it down with two handfuls of water, and hid the bottle back. He washed his face again, then turned the taps off.
He closed the toilet lid, sat on it, and stretched his arm. Luckily, it wasn't hard to find the vein. It went on the smooth habit rail.
When the bathroom door swung open again and Nick came stumbling out, Troy crossed to meet him halfway and watched him plant himself on the bed.
Nick barely had time to get to the room. It was swimming around him as if he were underwater. The interior dimmed into the dark as soon as his back hit the bed.
"You die, I'm not killing you, Nick," Troy threatened idly, unaware if Nick heard him as he picked up his coffee and made himself comfortable at the foot of the bed again.