As in turns out, Zim did had three kids for extortion; from an alien scientist belonging to a race called Vortians who were subjugated by the Irken Empire, obviously no one thought Zim should take care of children and until they see what they should do with them they decided to take them. Zim contacted his new base and told its computer to not destroy the humans who were planning to come in which Dib understandably was mistrusting of his word until Stanford revealed to him that the nanites also monitor his vital organs and there was no sign of the Invader lying.
Dipper had a private talk with his sister.
"He's…he's not in the best of mental health, I saw him having a mental breakdown when Zim was being interrogated."
Mabel, concerned, nodded. "Maybe he needs more socializing?"
"You saw his classmates, they hate him!" Dipper disagreed, after learning how hard Dib's life was both in house and school he and his sister decided to never whine about their own home and school life feeling petty.
"No not those jerks broseph, I mean with us."
"Us?"
"Remember? Tonight is Summerween."
"I don't think Trick or Treat would magically cure years of neglect and abuse." he matter-of-factly responded.
"Oh don't be silly! I mean bring him to hang with Wendy and her friends, do things that don't involve constantly obsessing with Zim." she gave a brief glace to Dib who was now watching Zim like a hawk with the latter hissing at him with his worm-like tongue.
"I don't exactly call Dib a social creature."
"Dib is already admiring you, following you like a lost puppy so it shouldn't be hard."
That was when they heard a snort who they gaze back and saw Gaz bored not being able to play with her Game Slayer thanks to the limitations Professor Membrane gave her in order to encourage her to socialize who caught on what the Mystery Twins were saying and after her snort then said "My loser of a brother has a tendency to rub people the wrong way with his intensity, you think it is because of believing in aliens that gets him bullied? Don't be surprised if your friends start hating him once he accuses one of them of being Bigfoot's nephew or something."
Mabel rolled her eyes and looked at the Membrane girl with a frown "Like you were any help, sister of the decade." she sarcastically added.
"What's that supposed to mean?"The purple haired girl's tone became dangerous which normally deterred anyone but Mabel was not anyone.
"Considering how often I see Dib being fearful around you by just displeasing you and from what I heard from him you aren't a very good sister, Miss Petty." Gaz's teeth grinded "If you weren't busy eating junk food and playing video games and tried to take some interest in your brother's life, maybe you wouldn't gain weight from your edgy act, emo sloth." she said the last part smugly.
Gaz snarled, enraged by her accusations. "Why you tacky piece of- !" she nearly came near her and Mabel took a defense to hit on and it nearly resulted into a brawl with Dipper not knowing how to stop this if it weren't for a plot twist.
Splat!
Suddenly, the cake that was on the table exploded revealing a grinning Gir with his arms open and declared with mania "It's MEEEE! I WAS THE CAKE ALL ALONG!"
That stopped both girls from barking at each other as both stupefied looked at the insane robot as everyone else.
"...I was wondering where the cake came from." Stan put her right hand on her chin.
Ford faked a cough to announce "So in interest of- "
"THE CAKE WAS A LIE! MEEEEEE!" Gir pointed at himself as he announced loudly and cut Ford off.
"NO ONE CARES GIR!" the Irken growled at his Sir Unit.
"As I was saying: Me, Stanley and Melody are going to Zim's base to take the three kids away from their captivity."
"Wait, why is Melody coming?" Dipper asked.
"My husband is having a stomach ache with all the things he ate." Melody with a sympathetic look informed them.
"Uuuuugh…my stomach is so full as a filled mummified fish…." that was the agonizing moan of Soos from upstairs on his bed.
"And while Zim has contacted his base to lower his defenses, I don't trust to bring him with us, for all we know his computer could hack and neutralize the nanites, so can you keep a watch on him while we're out?"
"You're on it Grunkle Ford!" Mabel gave a thumb up.
"Nyah." Minimoose said with its famous catchphrase.
"Oh I'm not taking my eyes off him, sir." Dib assured.
"Please, call me Ford." Ford wore his coat and went on his merry way "I'll see you later."
Melody followed Stanford and Stanley before leaving, Stanley then called to the group "And if the little bugger tries anything, abuse him into doing latrine work!"
Zim hissed with his sharp teeths as Stanley went out laughing.
Mabel had one of her Mabel-ness ideas as she clapped her hands gaining attention of her brothers' eyebrows.
"Oh group activities! We can teach our alien residents to love Earth and its customers!"
"The what?" Dib was hoping that he was hearing her wrong as he cleared his right ear.
"Minimoose can stay here watching Soos and Waddles, do you object?"
"Nyah." the floating small moose replied.
"Problem solved."
"Is she serious?" The big headed boy looked at the Pines boy, who gave a tired look.
"Unfortunately." From Dipper's reply and tone Dib figured out this wasn't the first of Mabel's hairbrain ideas.
Zim did not find the idea of mangling with humans appelling, in fact he found the very idea of it repulsive as he openly sneered in disgust.
"Eh? NA-UH! NO WAY! ZIM WILL NOT PARTAKE IN IN YOUR PATHETIC HUMAN RITUAL OR ELSE I'M NO PROUD IRKEN INVADER!" he locked both arms and closed his eyes.
Minutes later…
"I hate this planet." Zim hissed under his breath as he was pulled in by the humans' inane plan in turning him native with his disguise on.
From Zim's point of view as he got to the outdoors he saw another group of hideous humans. A fat one who he was sure he could easy dominate as his slave, the pale skin malnutrition who likely suffers a skin disease who for some reason dyed his hair with fake black and one in particular gave Zim the urge to do horrible experiments on him, another female with partly purple hair which unlike Gaz's wasn't natural and she could guess he can turn her into a mindless slave by taking advantage of what humans call 'social media' and two buffoons who seem to be chuckling at some stupid joke with each other.
There was also the red one Wendy as well who's warm and friendly expression after greeting the Pines twins dropped the moment she saw him "Oh it's you." Her friendly demeanor changed, icy seeing the alien that was the cause of her humiliation.
Zim either ignoring the icy tone or being oblivious then bowed with his head a bit
"Greetings, Bipedal Orangutan. Zim came in to partake in your…repulsive affection ritual." He then gave a gag feeling dirty from saying that.
"I feel honored." the redhead dryly added
"You should be, it's a privilege to be in Zim's presence!" Zim remarked, it was hard to tell if he was ignorant of Wendy's tone or did know and spat back as Corduroy's glare got harder.
Robbie, who took notice of the new arrivals, asked with a frown.
"Who're they?"
Mabel chipped in "Glad you asked! this is Gaz." she pointed at the purple haired girl who gave an unimpressed look and Robbie and Tambry squirmed slightly under her gaze as they met the purple Membrane before.
"This is her brother Dib." She introduced the big headed boy.
"Uh, Hello..?" Dib was not used to meeting new people who didn't immediately dislike him or ignored him awkwardly greeted with a hand.
"That's Zim, the green boy with skin disease." She meant the strange green boy with no nose.
"Zim will enslave you all as Service Drones once I get out of this pitiful extortion!" Zim spat out with a threat.
Mabel whispered to them with a hand near her face "He's actually an alien with a case of grumpiness."
"Wait! You guys believe he's an alien? And you're just shrugging it off!?" The Membrane boy in disbelief exclaimed.
"Well yes? Is not the weirdest thing we heard or seen." Thompson shrugged with both hands.
"He is still a major improvement over the ageist ghosts or the triangle antichrist as far as we saw." Tambry still had her eyes glued to the phone.
"Definitely." Robbie agreed with a grunt.
Dib stammered not being able to believe what he just heard "Bu-bu-bu-bu…! But that's- THAT'S STUPID!" he cried out with his hands dragging on his face rather violently while Dipper patted on his back.
Mabel then finally reached to Gir "And this little puppy is uh…" Looking at Gir she realized no one gonna believe Gir being a puppy considering there are no green dogs, dogs don't stand on two legs and the disguise made Gir look like a cosplaying child "Well, technically he's a robot disguised as a dog, that's Gir."
The insane Sir Unit shook his hand "Hehehe, you're white as vanilla cream!" He pointed at Valentino and then he bites Robbie's right hand making him exclaim and recoil and push the Sir unit away also surprising others
"AH! WHAT!? WHAT THE HELL?!" Thankfully he didn't lose his hand, un-thankfully it was that his right arm was now dripped in saliva.
"Ruby tastes like expired yogurt!" the deranged Sir Unit madly giggled.
"Don't even ask how he knows what expired yogurt tastes like." Gaz informed them with a deadpan look, Gir's diet is the type of knowledge that should remain hidden.
"He ate a baby once." Dib added in.
Zim corrected Dib "The baby survived unharmed. Eh, mostly…" he shook a hand to make his point. "He's 80% harmless when he is not on Duty Mood."
"He had my head cooked!" Dib exasperatedly cried out.
"It was a time loop! Everyone went a bit insane by the inanity of repeated time! Even the mighty Zim went loon!"
And now everyone else but Zim and the Membranes was looking at Gir with apprehension by this point with Robbie in particular feeling unsafe being near the insane robot who now tried to get close to Robbie making him reeled back.
"Get me away from this robo-freak!"
Gir in respond giggled madly thinking their reaction is some deranged game.
"Uh, ignoring the deranged dog-child robot here…" Lee decided to change the subject as his face changed from apprehension to amusement when he turned to Dipper.
"Never knew you had it on your Doctor Funtime."
Dipper raised an eyebrow.
"The what?"
Robbie then looked at him with a frown.
"How did you do it?"
That served to confuse the Pines boy further.
"I'm not sure what you're talking about guys."
Tambry smirked.
"Should we continue calling you Doctor Funtime? Or you from now on: Doctor Chad?" She showed her phone to him and it showed Dipper during his time cursed by the sins now becoming famous with girls asking for his phone number or where he lives to ask him out for a date.
"Oooh God…" Dipper rubbed both of his on his face concealing his flushed embarrassed face as he groaned.
Mabel pouted at seeing his brother is more successful to be a bachelor than her.
"No fair! How come you get all the attention but me a summer's worth of romance is not!?"
"I was cursed! I was under a curses' influence!" The Pines boy sputtered with his face flushed even harder.
"You saying you regret kissing me, lover boy ~?" Wendy teased, reminding him of when he kissed her, making Dipper freeze where he stood recalling that.
"WHAT!?" Robbie exclaimed and looked at Dipper as if he just grew horns.
"For a self-conscious nerd, he kisses good." Gaz grunted and annoyed admitted.
"OOOOOOOH!" Lee and Nate cheered with a roar.
What followed was an even redder Dipper profusely apologizing profusely to Wendy who looked very amused by his reaction while Nate and Lee jeered with Nate saying "Nice dude!" And high fived him, Tambry smirked and Robbie's jaw hit the ground from utter incomprehension.
Zim titled his head becoming confused by all this, he wasn't the only one though as Dib was also confused by this banter.
"What kind of cruel bantering is this? On Irken such was to distill maximum humiliation not…whatever this is." Zim failed to find a word for this.
"I'm confused, it's like mocking yet it is friendly?" Dib asked Mabel who gave him and Zim a sympathetic look knowing they weren't used to seeing friendly bantering, just condemnation.
Stan, Melody and Ford now reached Zim's base deep in the woods which looked like a dome using earth covering it to make it look like a hill and the said door had its automated door half opened with an ominous pink glow coming from the entry.
"You sure Zim said he turned off his defense system?" Melody unsure inquired about Stanford who looked at it with a curious glance.
"I did, if he was lying the nanobots would have detected it, this is someone else's work."
They reached the entry with Stan opening the automated door from both sides completely with a grunt using both of his hands and when they entered, they were in for a surprise.
"What the- !?" Melody, shocked, put a hand on her mouth.
"Holy moly!" Ley whistled at what he saw.
The place was wrecked: furniture upside down, knickknacks all over, the fridge was half open with its food now spread across and more concerned there were slash and bite marks all over the place with the TV broken and a big monitor was hanging up with the other side toward the down sparking at times.
Stanley huffed with an exasperated tone and asked his twin "Who do you think it was?"
"I don't know, could be the government agents so we have to be on alert." Sixer readied his blaster on his hand so did Stan with a revolver.
Giggle
They looked around but saw no one or anyone who made sounds of childish giggles which made them unease.
Suddenly, the computer starts to work with the sound of electricity sparking and glitching.
"Czjslqlqkqu Chiiiiild- ren….iwiq8q19q restlesss…."
It then shut down with another spark.
There was now silence as everyone stared at the glitching computer who gave the ominous message until Stanley asked.
"Is it too soon to go back?"
The group of dissidents were now in a convenient store which was now stocked with Summerween merchandise and it was 17:00 in the evening so they decided to look around and see if they find any makeup or costumes and this store was incidentally the same place the twins bought shopping stuffs with Stan and Soos in the previous summer for the Summerween. The non-Fallers of the group were confused.
"I thought Halloween is next season?" Gaz gave an eyebrow as he looked at a melon shaped like a Jack-o'-lantern.
Wendy butt in as she was looking around "It's Summerween, like people of this town loved Halloween so much that they knocked the holiday off, though there was the whole 'Never Mind All That' act which nearly banned Summerween if it weren't for the protests and- "
"SUMMERWEEN!?" The obnoxious sound of Zim was heard as he then walked with heavy steps, jumped on a shelf and held Wendy by her collar with both of his hands, an action that surprised her.
"SUMMERWEEN!? You primate hillbilly screen worshiping hairless monkeys made another holiday to celebrate that cursed Halloween!?!" Zim screeched loudly in outrage and Wendy to her immense displeasure could feel drops of salvia on her face.
"Get off me!" The redhead pushed Zim away and glared at him as she continued to speak "What's your beef with Halloween anyway? "
"Zim despises beef! And tell that to the giant headed baby with an entire realm of nightmares in his humongous head!" He pointed at Dib who winced at the memory of that traumatizing Halloween.
Dib answered the look he was getting from Dipper and Mabel "It's a long story."
"Or the Halloweenies who drool around like necrotic brain-eating fungus vessels demanding sweets and taking it away as they wear ritualistic dresses to instill fear in their preys, knocking at the door incisively!"
Mabel, taken aback by such a graphic description and slightly offended since she and her twin used to do Trick Or Treat, gasped "That's uh…that's the most disparaging description of Halloween I ever heard."
"Do you mean zombies or Trick or Treat kids?" Wendy sarcastically asked.
" I know what I said!" the Irken snapped, then jumped down and dragged both sides of his face with his hands in a dreadful comprehension. "Oh the Summerweenies..!" he walked away as he looked haunted with the face of a man who just learned that the world was gonna end tonight.
"Is he always like this?" Wendy inquired the Membrane boy who scoffed.
"When he isn't?"
"Believe us sister, he is a walking sack of insanity and crazy stupid." Gaz snorted.
"GIR! STOP EATING THE MELONS!" Zim's sound was heard from away.
"Aw!" Gir whined.
"Case in point." Gaz said matter of factly.
Afterwards, the gang with the stuff they bought reached the cashier's place where a woman was checking the stuff with her laser scanner until she noticed something that being one of the teenagers Nate was putting in a box of drinks that certainly were not Pitt Cola.
"May I see your certification?" She asked Nate suspiciously, Nate seemed caught like a deer on headlight and tried thinking of something.
"Well…If you see- !"
"Certification? CERTIFICATIONS!?" Zim shouted in indignation and jumped on the retail counter table surprising everyone including the cashier as Zim pointed at her accusingly. "Do YOU have a certification you WORTHLESS DRONE UNIT!?!"
The woman stared at him and everyone thought she was gonna threaten to call the police until she unexpectedly cried out in dismay.
"NOOOOO! I LIED ABOUT CERTIFICATE JUST SO THAT I CAN HAVE FREE BOOZE!" she hiccuped as she put both hands on her face.
Zim sneered in contempt.
"You disgust me! Take our money now and leave us be!" Zim threw his money at the counter violently.
Later: the gang was outside of the mall looking stupefied
"...that was something." Tambry stated, not being able to believe what just happened.
Lee chuckled.
"Oh man you fried her! From now on we will call you Bug Boy!"
"Eh? No one calls me that!" Zim objected as she was trying to open a bottle he got which served to amuse Wendy's friends further. "And stop mushing my wigs!" his fake hair was now being caressed playfully by Nate.
"Why did that cashier gal ask for certification for these?" Gaz asked which caught Wendy who realized and silently cursed Nate, while it is true that Wendy and her friends are still minor just two years older than the Pines twins she was not comfortable in them seeing her and her gang buying the drinks which she thought as ironic considering all they and herself had been through last summer. He was trying to formulate a response before Mabel beat her to it.
"Wait, is this one of those 'Bad Drinks' Mom and Dad warn about?" the Pines girl asked with both hands up and down two fingers each.
"I thought Trembley banned bringing them in Gravity Falls?" the Pines boy gave an eyebrow.
Corduroy sighed in defeat recalling they were too smart to be fooled "Yes they are, well duh? You think bars would be even a thing here if anyone gave a rat's hair about these stupid and silly laws that lunatic of a president wrote?"
"I don't recall a president named Trembley?" Dib, confused, asked as he titled his head.
"It's a long story." Mabel answered him which made him sighed.
Gaz hearing all of this and while they were talking decided to try one not being one who give much thought on "Give me that.'' She took one bottle and took a sip.
"Now wait!" Wendy's warning came too late as the Membrane girl started spitting out.
"Blah! That tasted like Death and Gasoline having a love baby!" her face contorted in disgust as she continuously spat she gave the bottle to Dib to hold who upon smelling it was disgusted in displeasure.
"How do you even stand this?" The Membrane boy asked the redhead teen.
"I mean my father made his own moonshine so compared to those it is pretty tame..." she scratched the back of her head.
With no warning they heard the sound of Zim though this time a bit different
"I'mmm tahpooo a bestaoooh evaaah
Invading….pluto…" they looked back and saw Zim walking like a drunken man with his tone off "Which isissss….totally a planet!"
Wendy then looked at her other friends "What's with him? Nate…"
"I didn't give him one!" Nate with his hands up said.
"I didn't do anything either." Lee said the same thing.
"Green Freak just went suddenly like that!" Robbie quickly answered with a hand pointed at the Irken.
"Oh great, Bug Boy is now drunk." Gaz uttered with her deadpan face.
Dib noticed a bottle Zim was holding looking like he was gonna drop it so he tried to take it to examine, which Zim at first resisted; however, he was too dizzy to put up a fight so Dib took the bottle and was flabbergasted by what he saw.
"Ginger Ale? wait, your race gets drunk by drinking ginger ale??" It was indeed a bottle of ginger ale.
"Then what do- " he hiccuped "-da get on whot'em eh?"
"Uh…alcohol dude?" Robbie answered with an eyebrow looked at the alien in disguise weirdly
Zim giggled at that like he just heard something stupid.
"You shurimp hair chimpenzzzzzie uyse medication for recreation?" He tsk tsk and shook his head "Stupid stupid hymuensssss and their low grade metabolism." he took a few dizzy steps.
"Are you…even legal to drink it?" Dipper questioned which the drunk Zim huffed.
"I'mmm of course! I'm 16 Irken YEEEErS which in Earth time frame makes mighty Zim ooOolllder and wiiiiiser than all you pathetic mud worms."
"Masta is wise!" Gir cheered.
"You're anything but wise." Dib with an unimpressed look told Zim.
Zim blow a raspberry at the annoyed Dib like a petulant child and then he fell to the ground causing everyone to immediately come for his aid.
The Stans and Melody were now through a secret passageway which led to the underground laboratory. The lights were dim with some down so they had to use flashlights and the libratory environment filled with strange alien tools, architectures and tubes all around so as broken panels serve to only add to their growing agitation: dissection table with signs of red blood on it, surgical alien tools tossed around, tanks with organs some alarming looked like human organs while others did not, an aquarium that had a strange still living squid attached parasitically on a human skeleton, anatomical structure maps of Humans, Vortians and other alien races including a drawing showing a creature that was shapeshifting itself into a chihuahua that was called a Morphic(which Stanford dearly hoped there is no such alien on Earth with malignant intent recalling his experience with the Shapeshifter), a normal table upside down attached to the roof with numerous dolls on it stitched on it as well, a set of machineries with scalpels, injectors, a saw and surgical tools connected to a machine and there was a torn open cage that was titled 'The Snarl Beast'.
Stanley as he looked around wondering if this place can be used as a freakshow to scare costume looker in morbid curiosity to a jar of bubbling green liquid with a brain and two eyes, the two eyes blinked causing Stan to immediately look away.
'Nope, nah, that wasn't blinking! I'm just imagining things!' he internalized with himself as he shuddered and walked away.
Giggles
He looked back in a rush but saw nothing, only a blur of something moving fast. "Hey poindexter…" he called his twin.
"What is it Stanley?" Stanford replied.
"I don't think we are alone here."
They looked around now in alert.
Giggle
They turn back and see a haunting sign painted by randomly colored crayons that says 'I EaT BreakFast!'
"I…don't understand." Ford was more confused than nervous "What do you think it means Stanley?" He looked and Stanley disappeared , leaving only his revolver and flashlight still rolling on the ground.
"He…he was just near me!" Melody starts to panic.
"Stanley? STANLEY!" Ford called his brother but no replies as he pointed his gun around and no sign of him so he turned back to Melody with a serious face "Melody, listen to me! We must- !" Before he could finish he yelped as he felt something on his left leg which then caused him to drop on the ground and dragged fast into the darkness while Ford as he roared tried to shot his blaster on his assailant only to be proven futile as he was continuously dragged ro darkness with only the blue light of his blast briefly illuminating slightly until he was dragged so far and his shootings and roaring stopped, the only thing left was his flashlight which got dropped during all this.
Melody petrified stood there frozen "S-s-tanford? Mr Stanford?" She meekly asked and nothing answered her.
Giggle
That childish giggles again made her jump out of skin looking back but saw no one. She looked around erratically and saw nothing though she could swear there was something with a shadow behind one of the labs' tubes.
As she looked with a flashlight she saw a set of goat-like legs that made her pause in dreaded anticipation and when she brought the flashlight up she saw the being: it was a small bipedal pink creature with yellow irised goat eyes with long goat horns, a snoot and herbivore teeths and it then looked back at her by turning its head 90 degree and its expression changed from an animalistic goat-like to that of a cruel gremlin. "NAAH!"
Melody cried out and backed away only to see another goat monster at her right prompting her to try to run at her back only to see another. The three little beasts surrounded her.
"What are you!?"
"What are ya!" The three mimicked and laughed in mockery with distorted childish voices.
'S-s-stand back!"
"Stand back!" they mockingly repeated and laughed.
She with one hand holding her phone threatened them."I will call the cops, I'm warning you!"
The middle one spit out a sheriff badge as the three at the same time said.
"SEND MORE COPS! COPS YUM YUM!'' They continued to giggle and it turns out one of them was wearing either Blubs or Durland's hat.
Melody gave a blood curdling scream with both hands on her cheeks so loud that it reverberated across this lab of horrors.
Notes:Don't worry, Blurbs and Durland aren't really eaten, they are fine…ish.