Luz was the first to wake up... mostly because Boscha was snoring in her ear, but partially because she was so excited about today. Today was their first official day in the demon realm, today was their first day of learning to become witches, and today was the first official day of them trying to find Boscha's birth parents.
"Woo!" Luz said, "Wake up, Boscha!"
Boscha turned over and clenched her sleeping bag.
"Mmm... fuck off." She said, not even opening her eyes.
"Nope! I shall do no such thing!" Luz sprang from her sleeping bag. "This is the beginning of our grand adventure, my entry into witchdom, and the discovery of my sister's mysterious past!"
Boscha groaned at hearing that. "Of course you're still a junkie for backstories."
Luz excitedly leaned out the window. "GOOD MORNING, TERRIFYING FANTASY WORLD!"
"Good morning!" A giant, misshapen, tentacled monstrosity politely waved at her before swimming away.
"Eugh!"
She retreated from the window, then spotted King asleep at the foot of Boscha's sleeping bag. She wasted no time picking him up and smothering him with cuddles and kisses. "Good morning, King, my little cuddle buddy."
"GAH! I am no one's "cuddle buddy!" Now unhand me at once!" King squirmed to get out of her grip.
"Yes you aaarrrre." Luz set him down and skipped out of the room, giggling all the way.
"This assault will not go unavenged-WEH!"
King's tirade was cut off as he learned, to his horror, that he was placed within arm's reach of Boscha, who snatched him without opening an eye. King struggled to escape her hug, giving up after a few seconds and falling asleep in her arms. Luz skipped down the hall to the bathroom, filled with pure excitement about this.
"Oh, I can't wait for this!" Luz said, looking in the bathroom mirror, "I can learn magic, I can achieve my dream, I can... I can help Boscha... after everything she's done for me."
Luz's mind raced with memories of the times she and Boscha shared. Their first meeting, the outings to the playground, digging around the backyard, the intense video game tournaments, the trips to the library, Boscha watching Luz's recitations of the Azura series, defending her from bullies, making her feel not so small...
"No te preocupes, hermana, I'll be here for you no matter what."
"Aww, that is so sweet."
"WAAAAUUUUUGGHHHHHHH!"
One swift hand chop to the head and Hooty backed off.
"HOOTY! BOUNDARIES!"
When Hooty backed off, Luz went back to looking in the mirror. She was happy, and then the door opened, revealing a half awake Boscha, carrying King and her toothbrush.
"Morning, sleeping beauty, ready to learn about your witchy side?" Luz asked.
"Stop talking... too early." Boscha said, brushing her teeth.
"Guess we know where your fangs came from." Luz said, "I remember the Dentists were so scared to do your teeth because when they started coming in, you ended up biting one of them."
Boscha kept brushing her teeth, but gave Luz the side eye. Luz just looked down at King, being carried around like a teddy bear, sleeping.
"Aw, guess he knocks right out when he's weightless."
"Yeah..." Boscha gave a weak smile. "...his limbs are so dangly."
She swung him back and forth to demonstrate that fact to her sister.
"Awwwww..." Luz cooed. "Oh, so what do you think our first magic lesson is gonna be?"
Boscha chuckled at the question. "With Eda? Probably how to nurse a hangover."
"C'mon, Boscha..."
"It's my honest estimate. She strikes me as one of those "Real Housewives" types, or one of those old ladies from "Hot in Cleveland.""
They made their way to the kitchen as they conversed. Boscha saw a high chair at the table and gently sat King down into it. The small demon began to stir from the lack of physical contact.
"I bet King'll know what's what?" Luz remarked. "How about it, Cuddle Buddy? What do you think Eda will teach us today?"
King blinked a few times and muttered before answering.
"Wehhhh... Beats me. Did she tell you her cure for hangovers yet?"
Luz paid no mind to Boscha's snickering, or at least tried her best to do so. Speaking of the devil, Eda came into the kitchen and over to the fridge.
"Good morning, Ms. Eda!" Luz said.
"Hello crazy witch lady that turned me into a ball three times." Boscha said.
"Not the last time it's going to happen either if you keep talking." Eda mumbled and pulled out a bottle, "Now... who are you two again?"
Luz's enthusiasm took a sharp decline. "Wha-?! Don't you remember? It's me, Luz! And my sister/plucky sidekick, Boscha!"
"Excuse you?" Boscha was not amused.
"Look, kids, I'm sure this is all important stuff to remember..." Eda wiped the sleep from her eyes. "...but it's early, and I haven't had my apple blood yet."
"Don't you mean apple juice?" Luz inquired.
"No."
The sisters gave Eda a moment to consume her offensively-scented drink before Luz continued.
"Remember? We started a prison riot last night? Boscha discovered she was born here and that you may or may not have got her stuck in the Human Realm?"
"I like to think I handled the news pretty well." Her sister nervously looked away while twiddling her thumbs.
"Then you met our mom and promised her we'd help Boscha to learn to control her magic and find her real family, and you'd also train me to be a witch!"
"Your mom?" Eda scratched her head.
"Camila Noceda, remember?
The Owl Lady immediately recalled seeing the woman with the chocolate-colored hair, kind, adorable eyes and curvy figure. She had some dreams about her!
"Boy, do I. Raaawwwrr." Eda noticed everyone was giving her strange looks. "Oh shit, was that out loud?"
"Welp, can't unhear that." Boscha shuddered. "So, what exactly is there to eat around here?"
Eda facepalmed. "Aww, you mean I gotta feed you guys too?"
"Doesn't that kinda go without saying?" Luz wondered.
"Here's your first magic lesson, kiddo: Don't assume I'll remember every little thing."
"Yep, that was expected." Boscha mumbled.
... Loud enough for Eda to hear unfortunately. Eda put her finger up and made a spell circle. Boscha saw this and put a plate up to block the spell, which resulted in the plate turning into a ball.
"Ha ha!" Boscha said, "Not going to get me this time!"
"Huh, you're catching on." Eda said, drinking from her bottle, "But I'll get you later, I just won't say when."
"How does magic work!?" Luz asked, excited.
"Woah, Kid, too close." Eda said, before cracking her back and smiling, "But, I guess I can give you a quick magic lesson, but I also need you two to do something for me afterwards."
"Huh?" Boscha asked, raising her eyebrows.
"Oooo!" Luz said, excited, "Is it some kind of magical quest!?"
"Uh... sure." Eda said, "Now, quick magic lesson."
Eda made a spell circle, letting the sisters get a good look at it.
"This is a Spell circle, it's how witches perform spells." Eda said, before pointing the spell at the sisters and turning both of them into balls.
Eda picked them both up and carried them to the living room. She placed them on the couch and continued her lesson.
"Now, the reason I turned you both into balls is because I need your undivided attention... plus the short haired one was getting a little TOO excited."
'Oh, I'm killing her.' Boscha thought.
'I... am surprisingly okay with this.' Luz thought.
"Now, the bigger the spell circle the bigger the spell will be." Eda explained, "I'm unsure of what your magic knowledge is, so when I turn you both back, you will attempt the light spell."
Eda made a circle with her finger and a ball of light formed. With another twirl of the finger, the sisters reverted. Boscha had to stifle her obscenities as Camila had practically begged her to do before sending her off.
"Thank you for the demonstration, Ms. Owl Lady." The pink-haired girl forced through gritted teeth.
"Aw, how nice." Said Owl Lady applauded. "What kind of magic got you to behave so well?"
"That would be called "Parenting."" Luz chimed in.
"Ecch! Hard pass." Eda got back on topic. "Now then, let's see you two try a light spell."
The sisters twirled their fingers. Nothing happened for Luz, and Boscha's spell let loose another burst of flames that startled everybody. Eda pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Well, there were no casualties, at least. I consider that a successful lesson. That said, I'm sure you two were to cast a LIGHT spell."
"I mean, fire makes light, doesn't it?" Boscha shrugged.
Eda was not amused this time.
"I can't get it to work." Luz pouted. "How do you guys do it?"
"Well, it could work differently for humans." The Owl Lady pondered. "Where exactly do you think magic comes from?"
"Hmmmm... from the heart?" Luz's answer made Boscha smile and shake her head.
"Actually... you're right!" Eda exclaimed.
"Really?" Luz beamed.
"Are you shitting me?" Boscha griped.
Eda pulled out a diagram. "No, seriously, it comes from a sac of magic bile attached to a witch's heart."
Boscha stared intensely at the picture of the repulsive green organ.
"THAT is inside me and stuck to my heart?! I've had so many checkups and injuries, and the doctors never ONCE found this?! Ugh... Mom was so right about those idiots."
"So... my dream can basically never happen?" Luz asked.
Boscha put a hand on Eda's face and shoved her away to comfort her little sister.
"Hey, don't worry, Luz, you inherited dad's stubbornness." Boscha said, "You'll figure something out, I know-"
Boscha was cut off as Eda dropped a big ass bag of potions on top of her.
"Ugh!" Boscha groaned.
"Well, now that I taught you two magic, get these delivered for me." Eda said.
Boscha, only having a single hand not under the bag, flipped Eda off.
"I can turn you into a ball again, but I figured I would just hand you the sack." Eda said, "Not my fault you weren't paying attention."
Luz, dragged the giant pouch off of her sister. "C'mon, Boscha, let's get this stuff delivered. Magical quest or whatever."
Boscha looked with concern at Luz sadly carrying the sack over her shoulder. The weight of the cargo threw her off balance a couple of times, but she made it through the door.
"That's the spirit, my young neophyte!" Eda jested, "Now begins your epic Quest of Conveyance!"
King came into the living room to join in on the fun making. "Only the bravest of souls can make the trek to Mrs. Jenkinmeyer's place to deliver her wart remover!"
Luz blushed from embarrassment before turning away as Eda and King laughed. Boscha got to her feet and went to the doorway. "Hey, Luz? I forgot something. I'll be right back."
She firmly shut the door and delivered a harsh glare to the others. "Okay, let's make something crystal clear: Push me, drop shit on me, ball me up, whatever. Believe me, I've had worse. But when it comes to Luz, you two back off."
"So the drama." Eda was unfazed by the tirade. "It's just some good-natured ribbing. Lighten up, wouldja?"
Boscha didn't flinch. "I didn't see any good nature, and Luz has had more than her fill of "ribbing" back in the Human Realm."
Eda saw a tear in the corner of the young witch's eye as she spoke.
"She's been mocked, pushed around and beaten up in school. Nobody outside of our family would come to her defense. The so-called "adults" foisted the blame on her for being different, just because she was the common denominator in these situations. Her dream of being a witch? It's one of the few things that helps her make it through each day. It means the world to her, so it means just as much to me, which is why I agreed to be here at all."
"What?" Eda questioned. "What about finding your family?
Boscha just scoffed. "If I happen to bump into them, then fine by me. Otherwise, I don't give a shit about finding them. I'm more concerned with helping Luz find a place where she fits in, and against my better judgement, I think this place might be it. She needs this, so take it easy on her... please."
She didn't wait for an answer and left the house to join Luz.
"Come on, Luz, let's go show this world that the Noceda sisters are here and we're ready for anything that gets thrown at us." Boscha said.
"Okay." Luz said, as the sisters walked to the town.
Boscha felt a bit nervous about coming out without her headband, but no one batted an eye at her, it was weird, only a handful of people knew about her eye, so being out without anything covering it was so weird.
"Where's the first place?" Luz asked, no emotion in her voice.
Boscha looked at the paper in her hand and pointed to the house next to a food vendor.
"Right there." Boscha said, "Hey, how about when we're done with this, we go back and see if Eda can turn me into Azura's staff for you to mess around with? Wouldn't that make you feel better, you love Azura!"
Sure Boscha hated being turned into stuff, she's already been a ball four times in the last 24 hours, but if it would make Luz feel better, she'd gladly let it happen.
"Sure." Luz muttered. "That sounds like fun."
After making their first delivery, the sisters made their way to the center of the city. Boscha wanted to say something else to comfort Luz, but she found herself distracted by the sights around her.
The odd-shaped buildings with limbs, eyes and teeth looked even more exquisite up close. Passers by included a centaur with his face on his chest, some old goat lady, a girl with a head shaped like a crescent moon, and a few that had more than even three eyes. Eda wasn't kidding when she said Boscha wouldn't stand out in this crowd. Her pink skin and extra eye were mundane in comparison to everyone else. A few more deliveries later, They made their next stop at a stand where something else grabbed Boscha's attention. She picked up a pair of sunglasses from the store's rack and was immediately excited.
"LUZ! LUZ! Look at this!"
Luz turned to see her sister wearing sunglasses with three lenses.
"I can't believe it!" She cried. "Sunglasses that cover all three of my eyes! I always dreamed that this day would come!"
Sad as she was, Luz wasn't going to rain on Boscha's parade, so she smiled the biggest smile she could produce. "Aw, that's great, Bosch!"
Of course, when you live with someone for most of their life, emotions are impossible to hide. "Wanna talk about that magic lesson?" Boscha asked.
"You mean how as a human, I'll never learn magic?" Luz moped.
"You don't know that! So you don't have some disgusting, gangrenous organ attached to your heart- still coming to terms with having one of those, by the way- there has to be more than one way to learn magic."
"How?"
"I dunno... maybe a bile sac transplant?"
"Pfft! That's crazy. We couldn't afford that. Besides, Eda said th-"
"Who, the career criminal? The woman who blackmailed us into infiltrating a prison? Who didn't even remember us this morning?" Boscha fumed as she fished out a large package from the sack. "I'm not saying she doesn't know her shit, but I doubt she has all the answers."
"Didn't she say yesterday that there's been no record of any human learning magic from here?" Luz wondered.
"So you'll be the first. Luz, you're the most creative and determined person I've ever met. If anybody can break new ground in this or any other place, it is you!"
Luz's lip quivered as she teared up. She ran up to Boscha and wrapped her in her strongest hug. "Gracias, hermana!"
"HEY!" The stand owner was fed up with the performance. "I ordered a package of newt eyes, not this sappy crap!"
Boscha angrily stared at the owner, then heaved the package at him, knocking him down. Not realizing she still had the sunglasses on, she departed with Luz and gave the owner a finger gun salute.
"Compliments of Eda the Owl Lady!"
That got a chuckle out of Luz as the two walked away. After a few deliveries, they were on the last one.
"Okay, let's see? Last one is someone named... Adegast." Boscha said.
"Sounds mysterious." Luz said.
The two walked through a curtain in a stone wall and saw a majestic castle, one that looked beautiful and not like anything else they've seen here so far.
"Woah." They said.
"This place is incredible!" Luz said, her joyous energy returning.
"Great, what shape is this place going to turn me into, a Pyramid?" Boscha asked, basically expecting to become something at this point.
The Nocedas entered the palace doors slowly, not knowing what to expect. Their time in the conformatorium hadn't exactly garnered their trust in these kinds of buildings, and the darkness within filled them with trepidation. However, when they walked inside, torches along the walls lit up to illuminate their surroundings. Walls that were lined all around the massive room with bookshelves. Everything from the furniture to the balusters looked so intricately beautiful.
"Now this is more like it!" Luz cheered as she spun in circles, taking in the splendor of the palace. "This is the kind of fantasy world I've always dreamed of!"
"Yeah..." Boscha was still on edge. "So much so, it's scary."
"Well met, young travelers!"
The two turned around to see someone entering from the foyer. He had the appearance of a grand wizard, long beard and all.
"A real live wizard." Luz squealed.
Boscha wasn't too sure. "Looks more like a cereal mascot to me."
Maybe it was the fact that she was born here that leads to her having this feeling that something was wrong, but Boscha did NOT trust this guy. That and she always had a hard time trusting a guy wearing sandals.
"I was expecting Eda the Owl Lady to deliver the potions today." The wizard said, "But instead, you two girls are... interesting. Might you two like to stay for a cup of tea?"
'Yeah, that doesn't scream Pedo.' Boscha thought, 'Yes strange old man, us underage girls will go into your house and drink tea.'
"You know, we really should get back to-" Boscha looked and saw that Luz was already following the wizard, "This is why mom bought child leashes!"
'Not that it was effective, I bit through it.' Boscha thought with a smirk.
"We would love to join you for tea?" Luz demurely proclaimed.
"Who's 'we?'" Boscha muttered, since when did Luz start speaking French?
Loathe as she was to blunder into some sketchy old man's home, she absolutely could not leave Luz alone with him. And so, she followed the two to the table set up for them, despite being on the verge of hyperventilating. As Luz and the wizard sat down for tea, Boscha stood next to her sister's chair, ready for anything. Luz, meanwhile, noticed a cart of potions behind the wizard's seat.
"Do you sell potions as well, Sir Wizard?"
"Please, call me Adegast." The wizard replied. "And yes, I run a small business. So, how be it that you came into Eda's employ?"
"Well, we're kinda, sorta, her apprentices."
"Oh! And how are you finding the experience so far?"
"You're asking some awfully personal questions there, Ass-gas!" Boscha scowled.
"Boscha, hush!" Luz scolded. "He's just making small talk."
"Well he'd better keep it small, or I'll set fire to him and his casual drapery!" Boscha warned him as she spun her finger, ready to unleash some hellfire.
Luz tried to ease her down. "Wait, Boscha! There's a baby fox in his beard!"
Boscha looked at Adegast's beard and indeed saw a baby fox giggling and playing in his beard. Her affinity for baby canines forced her to relent. The wizard was spared her wrath... for now. Luz turned back to Adegast.
"Being Eda's apprentice is... not as fun as I hoped." Luz said, "I was hoping for more of a magical quest, not delivering boil cream."
Adegast stroked his beard for a bit while humming.
"I have a quest-"
"A Quest!?" Luz asked, excitedly.
"A question."
"Oh." Luz said, dejectedly.
"Would you like to go on a quest?" Adegast said.
"Yes!"
"NO!" Boscha said, grabbing Luz's wrist and pulling her to a corner and speaking in Spanish, "¡Luz, NO vas a ir a una búsqueda de un anciano al azar que acabamos de conocer! ¿Te acuerdas de esos anuncios de servicio público que nos mostraron en la escuela?"
(Translation: Luz, you're NOT going on a quest for a random old man we just met! Do you remember those PSAs we were shown at school?)
"Sí, Boscha, lo recuerdo. Pero este es el Reino de los Demonios." Luz replied. (Yes, Boscha, I remember. But this is the Demon Realm.)
"So?!"
"So things are different here. We can't rely on conventional thinking."
"Or rational thinking?"
"C'mon, no harm in hearing him out at least."
Boscha was rarely successful in talking Luz out of doing something reckless. Being able to get her to meet her halfway was nothing short of triumphant. So they chose to listen to the wizard, who pulled a scroll from his beard.
"The prophecy speaks of a young human girl who will claim the Celestial Staff and free this world from an ancient evil." Adegast eludicated as he unfurled the scroll, revealing a map. "Perhaps thou hath cometh here for a reason."
"Perhaps I hath." Luz marveled as she took the map.
Adegast walked the sisters to the doors. "Should you believe yourself worthy of this quest..."
"SO worthy." Luz beamed.
"...You need to know the road is dark and perilous." He continued.
Luz became even more excited. "Love peril. BIG fan of peril."
"No shit." Boscha murmured.
"And only the Chosen One can pull the staff from its post" He concluded.
"Hang on!" Boscha shouted as she took Luz by the arm. "My common sense is tingling! Anyway, we're still on the clock, so we gotta go."
"And pack for this enchanted quest! I'm in!" Luz cheered.
"WHAT THE F-?!"
"Wonderful." Adegast grinned.
Once outside the palace, Luz looked over her new map. Boscha was still processing the absolute lunacy she had just witnessed. She had to confront her sister about this, no matter what may come of it.
"What the shit, Luz?! Why would you possibly agree to this nonsense? This is basically taking candy from strangers!"
"Why not?" Luz retorted. "Don't you think I can pull this quest off?"
"I don't think you can't, I think you shouldn't!"
"I thought you believed in me."
"Of course I do! It's Dumble-dork back there I don't believe in. Would you at least run this by Eda to see if it's legit?"
"Who? "The career criminal"?"
"Exactly! It takes one to know one."
Luz started to feel a bit upset with Boscha.
'She doesn't believe in me... I bet she's jealous.' Luz thought, 'She probably thinks I'll be a better witch than her when I get that staff.'
Boscha grabbed Luz by the wrist and began pulling her all the way back to the Owl House. The first second they entered, Boscha was hit with a spell.
"Bullseye!" Eda said, "I've been waiting for you guys to get back just so I could hit her with that spell."
The ball glared at Eda, really getting sick of this damn spell. Not to mention that she REALLY needed Eda's help right now in convincing Luz to NOT do this stupid quest! Eda walked over and picked up Ballscha.
"So, how'd the delivery go?" Eda asked Luz.
"You mean my "Epic Quest of Conveyance?"" Luz bitterly replied.
"Oh, you remembered that." Eda felt a sliver of guilt, but didn't pay it any mind. "So, how'd your epic quest go?"
"I'll have you know, we met a nice old wizard. One who believed in my potential." Luz gloated while waving her map in front of her would-be mentor.
King walked up to the three. "Ugh, what's this about a wizard?"
"What is everybody's problem with wizards?!" Luz inquired.
"Wizards are the WORST." Eda scoffed. " Never trust a man in casual drapery! And why would you be shooting the shit with one of those windbags, anyway?"
"He was one your customers." Luz told her. "He entrusted me with this sacred map, for I happen to be the chosen one."
"PFFFFT! You?! A chosen one?" Eda and King doubled over with laughter.
Boscha noticed Luz shrink from embarrassment, much like she did before they left. She struggled with all her might and managed to free her left arm. She then pinched the skin over Eda's hip as hard as she could. With a cry of pain, Eda dropped her. Fortunately, Boscha returned to normal. Unfortunately, it happened prior to hitting the floor.
"OW, FUCK!"
"Serves you right." Eda winced in pain from where she was pinched. "And don't tell me you believed in that whole 'chosen one' crock, too."
"No. She doubts me as much as you guys do." Luz grumbled.
"Oh, thank Titan." Eda wiped her brow. "Good to know there's a shred of common sense between the two of you."
Luz looked down, very upset.
'Why does no one believe in me?' She thought.
"Let me see that." Eda said, taking the map and looking at it, "You really believed in this? Kid, if there was a celestial staff, I would've stolen it ages ago."
Eda handed Luz the map again, and Luz just took it silently.
"Ah, don't worry kid, a few weeks here and you won't look like such a mark." Eda said, petting Luz's head.
Luz just silently walked upstairs, which made Boscha walk up to Eda and smack her so hard her head spun... literaly.
"Did you have to be so blunt!?" Boscha yelled.
Eda reached up and stopped her head.
"Firstly, ow. Secondly, what? Sometimes you need to be blunt in order to get your point across." Eda said.
Boscha glared at her and ran up to the closet. She knocked on the door.
"Luz? You in there?" She didn't get an answer and decided to open the door, "Look, I don't like that Eda was hard on you, but she-"
The window was opened and Luz's bag was gone.
"¡Mierda!" Boscha said, before running downstairs, "¡Owl Hag, tenemos un problema!"
"Still don't speak whatever it is your saying." Eda said.
"Luz is gone!" Boscha yelled.
Eda just facepalmed. "Dammit, Triclops, what did you do?"
"WH-!" Add that to the large pile of anger Boscha had to suppress today.
"You don't think she actually went on that quest, do you?" King wondered.
"Of course she did." Eda and Boscha replied in unison, a fact that repulsed them both.
Boscha hurried out the back door, hoping to catch a glimpse of her sister, but found nothing. She ran around the house, but there was still no sign of Luz. Turning to the front door, she had a horrible, ghastly thought. As much as she wanted to purge it from her mind, she couldn't escape the grim reality.
She'd have to ask Hooty.
"Yo, Noodle Bird! You see where Luz went?"
Hooty seemed indifferent to the situation as he replied. "If it's your sister that you seek, solve my riddle within the week. What-BWAAAKKK!"
Boscha was having none of that, especially not today. So she grabbed Hooty by the scruff of what could loosely be described as his neck and looked him dead in the eye. "Here's a riddle: What's long, annoying and red all over if he doesn't tell me which way Luz went?!"
"MA'AM! OUTSKIRTS OF BONESBOROUGH! MA'AM!"
"Thank you." She calmly released Hooty just as Eda flung the door open, squishing him against the wall.
"Jeez, kid, don't you think you're overreacting?" Eda asked her.
"Seeing how I'm the only one here who gives a shit about her, I'd better be!" Boscha snapped back.
"Hey, I care about all my minions!" King retorted. "Anyway, without a staff, you're not gonna catch up with her."
Boscha limbered up and assumed a starting stance. "With those scrawny nerd legs of hers? Not on your life!"
A second after she took off, she was already vanishing into the horizon.
"Dang, she's something." Eda marveled. "She could probably do good in Grudgby, and not just as the ball."
"How does she keep breaking out of that ball spell, anyway?" King wondered.
"Well, it depends on the potency of one's magic combined with sheer will, so it varies from witch to witch." Eda replied. "Good thing she's got me to train her, or her magic could very well burn down the Isles. Anyway, we'd better find this wizard. I don't like this itch he's scratching in the human."
With that, she and King flew off on her staff.
Luz stood at the Bonesborough city limits, clutching her inexplicably glowing map. "My first mythical quest." She mused to herself. "I just wish I had people back home who were cheering me on. Not even my own sister would-"
"LUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZ!"
Boscha sprinted towards Luz at the apparent speed of light. As soon as she caught up, she was wide-eyed and breathing heavily.
"Boscha?"
"¡¿QUÉ CARAJO?!" She yelled at Luz. "What were you thinking running off like that?! I know Eda was too blunt, but-!"
"Both of you were." Luz cut her off. "You both shot down my dream of going on a quest, and you were both equally vulgar about it."
"What the shitfuck are y-?!" Boscha stopped herself before she went full rage mode. "Luz, it's... I really want you to fulfill your dream, but this isn't the way to do it."
"How would you know?"
"I don't! It's just... maybe it's some witchy-sense or whatever, but I am getting some bad vibes from that wizard. HOPKINS vibes. I.. I don't want the same thing to happen to you."
"Boscha, you don't have to be so worried, I armed myself." Luz reached into her backpack and held aloft her toy sword, which lit up and spoke.
"I SHALL SMITE MY ENEMIES! Ages six to eleven."
"I thought those were recalled due to all those kids getting lacerated." Boscha pontificated. "But still, even if that scroll is legit, it'll take more than defective merchandise and youthful optimism to go meandering in the wilderness, especially in a realm where "civilization" tries to literally eat us alive."
"I wish I could show you..." Luz unfurled the scroll. "...but a message appeared to me when I looked at the scroll in my room that none of you could see."
"What, those glowy letters that say "The chosen one, the path will only appear to the worthy"?"
Luz had to take a second look at the scroll. "You can see it too? Then, that means... that means..."
"Luz, I'm sorry you had to find out th-"
"YOU'RE WORTHY, TOO!" She wrapped Boscha up in her tightest hug. "You were meant to go on this quest with me. With you by my side, that Celestial Staff is as good as got!"
Boscha still had her doubts, despite seeing this secret message. But if she can keep two or more eyes out for her sister, then maybe the day won't be a total disaster.
"Ah hell, what are plucky sidekicks for?"
And that is the only time Boscha ever will call herself a "plucky sidekick". Luz grabbed Boscha's hand and happily walked towards the woods.
'Dad, I know I promised to protect her, but some days I would like to knock some sense into her.' Boscha thought.
As they walked for a while, they came upon a pristine village, something that stood out from the dark and twisted world they were currently in. Luz was amazed, while Boscha knew something was up, but since she doesn't know much about magic, she had no idea what to do.
"Boscha, this is amazing!" Luz squealed in joy.
"Yeah... totally." Boscha said.
'God damn, I'd honestly rather be a ball right now.'
As if the world was listening, a random spell missed its target and hit Boscha and she was turned into a ball.
'For fucks sake!' Boscha thought, 'Should I just change my name to Ballscha at this point?!'
"Wow, Eda's not even here." Luz said, picking up Boscha and carrying her under her arm, "But, no time to dwell on that, we have some work to do."
Suddenly, a mysterious figure rose from the fountain. It was some muscular man, something that most teenage girls would love to see... but Boscha didn't care that much.
'Is that supposed to trick us, because I've never found any attraction to men... wait.'
As Boscha was in thought, Luz was listening to him speak with interest.
"I see. So you're the Chosen One." The mystery man scoffed. "The Celestial Staff should've picked me, Nevareth Bladestrife, Teen Prince of Angstmore."
Luz could only blush and stare for a minute before she replied. "H-h-hi, Luz Noceda... is me... who I am... This is Boscha! My sister!"
"A ball for a sister." Nevareth suddenly looked morose. "Such a tragic backstory. Perhaps we are kindred spirits after all."
"Totally perhaps!" Luz nodded.
Despite her current state, Boscha managed to audibly groan.
"Their scent leads here."
King and Eda arrived at the castle that Luz and Boscha visited earlier in the day. But the witch and demon found no glistening palace. Rather, they saw a crumbling, dilapidated ruin. The derelict castle looked as though it hadn't been tended to in decades. The eerie howl of the wind throughout the grounds was broken when a part of the castle wall fell, nearly hitting Eda and King.
"Ugh. Figures a wizard would hang their pointy hat in a shit hole like this." Eda derided. "All that's missing is a sign that says 'free candy'."
"WHERE? WHERE IS THIS CANDY?!" King frantically looked around the area.
"Crony, hush!"
Eda walked into the palace, only to find that it was as run down on the inside as it was outside. She saw tattered scrolls littering the floor.
"I don't like this."
She picked up a few of the scrolls. As they came into the light, the message that Luz and Boscha saw illuminated on every single one of them.
"I really don't like this."
Deep in the forests outside Bonesborough, Luz, Boscha, Nevareth and a bizarre creature that looked like an onion with bat wings made their way to an unassuming bridge.
"Nevareth, your vengeful backstory is so compelling." Luz was indulging in his melodrama. "And I'm lovin' your animal sidekick."
"After my village was consumed, my heart has known nothing but vengeance." He prattled on.
"Nevareth..." Luz swooned.
'Oh my GOD.' Boscha thought. 'I have no mouth, and I must vomit.'
The Angstmore prince assumed a dramatic pose. "Lady Luz, do you think love can bloom on the battlefield?"
"Ooh-hoo-hoo!" Luz hugged her sister as she turned away blushing. "This quest is questing in all the right ways."
Boscha could only scream internally as the group began to cross the bridge.
"HUM-DI-DIDDLE!"
"GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
A strange, feline creature had hopped on the bridge, and without thinking, Luz hurled the ball at his head... the ball which happened to be her sister... that ricocheted off the creature's head and into the river (Which was conveniently not boiling).
"Oh no! BOSCHA!"
Boscha finally managed to break free and swim back to the bridge.
'Next time... I'm tying her to the couch.' Boscha said, as she shivered from the cold water.
"I h-h-hate this q-q-quest." Boscha said, spitting water out of her mouth.
"Boscha, you're back to normal!" Luz said, hugging her sister.
"Yeah, I could've returned to normal at anytime, but I wasn't walking and listening to Nevanerd's backstory at the same time."
"Wait, so you stayed that way just so you couldn't walk!?" Luz said.
"Luz... I may be an athlete... but I'm also fucking lazy." Boscha said, tapping Luz's nose with her finger, "Hell, I wouldn't be walking still... if you didn't throw me at someone!"
"C'mon, girl, where's your sense of adventure?"
"I think it drowned in the river." Boscha shivered.
"The ball curse has been lifted!" Nevareth cheered. "Let's hear it for the Chosen One!"
"Can I light him on fire to keep warm?" Boscha asked her sister.
"NO!" Luz was quite adamant that no harm must befall those flawless pecs. "You will not be setting anyone on fire for the duration of our adventure."
"Uuuuhhmmmmm... Hum-di-diddle?"
Everybody turned to look at the small feline who apparently recovered nicely from being brained by a Boscha Ball.
"Oh, yeah, I'm sorry about hitting you." Luz acknowledged her mistake. "Did you have something you wanted to tell us?"
The cat-thing perked right back up. "HUM-DI-DIDDLE! To cross this bridge, you must first solve my riddle!"
"Hit me, little furry man!"
"Your quest shall fail if you don't win this game! So tell me, my dear, what is my name?"
Luz peered at the creature studiously looking for any hints that could hel- Oh, there was a nametag on him.
"Uhhh, 'Chris'?"
"That's it!" Chris exclaimed.
"That's it?!" Boscha snapped. "What kind of babytown riddle is that? It wasn't even a riddle. It was barely a question."
Luz stared daggers at her sister. "Boscha, could you just not?"
"What? I'm just saying this hasn't been challenging enough for us. How about we try this again, but with an actual riddle, like... Oh yeah! Heh. Try this one, Chris: What's green and red and goes about a hundred miles an hour?"
"BOSCHA!" Luz seemed to have had enough. "That is not quest-appropriate material!"
"Ahem." Chris butted in. "You may cross the bridge. And please take this, Chosen One. It shall help you on your journey." He handed Luz a lavish ring, which she eagerly put on. She totally felt like an RPG character that had leveled up.
"Do you need a cape?" Nevareth asked.
"I think I'm good." She answered.
Boscha suddenly sneezed. "I mean, if your offering, I could use a-"
"You can use my shirt!" Nevareth ignored Boscha's request as he tore of his shirt off and tied it like a cape over Luz's shoulders.
"Yes, I need a cape!" She giggled.
"I need this like I need pneumonia." Boscha sneezed again
"Oh no." Eda said, seeing the run down village that looked pristine when the kids came by, "Are you sure they came this way?"
"I can't mistake their scents, one is like lemons and young naïve confidence, the other is sweat, ash, and a hint of rubber."
Eda snorted for a second, further proving that Boscha is meant to be a ball, she already smells like rubber. She regained her composure and grabbed one of the cat creatures, that looked like it was dead.
"What have you done with Luz and the angry one?" Eda demanded, "What's your endgame!?"
"To find your pupils and still your wrath, look ahead and follow the path." The cat creature said.
Eda glared and performed the ball spell on it, making it into the size of a soccer ball. She put it on the ground and took a couple steps back, before running and giving the cat ball a good kick, sending it flying into one of the dilapidated buildings, making it collapse. Eda growled and summoned her staff.
"King, hurry up and get on, unless you want to get hit with that spell." Eda said, clearly in no mood to argue.
King's been turned into a baseball once, he doesn't want that to happen again, so he jumped on the staff and him and Eda took off.
In the woods, Boscha was still shivering, while Luz was talking to a fairy.
'I'm learning a transformation spell and the very first thing I'm doing with it is turning her into trash can, or a lamp, or something!'
"Thank you for inviting us to your feast, princess." Luz said, "All your food was tiny and cute."
The fairy summoned two bracelets and handed them to Luz.
"For you chosen one!"
Boscha groaned, it was so painfully, PAINFULLY, obvious that this was fake. She doesn't know what this would be for, but she has a feeling her and Luz will either be skinned and made into leather shoes, put over a spit roast and eaten, or just straight up get murdered.
'Yep, just a quick knife to the stomach, no burning and eating, no painful removing of the skin.' Boscha thought, 'Just a quick stab and death.'
Boscha was taken out of her thoughts when she noticed that Luz was walking by herself around the corner.
"Luz, wait." Boscha said, rushing over to her and away from the eyes and ears of the group, "Luz, don't you think that everything happening is a little TOO convenient?"
"What do you mean?" Luz asked.
"Oh god you're too innocent." Boscha said with a groan, "Everything that comes out of a child's fairy tail adventure has happened. The fancy jewels, the baby riddles, that god damn boy toy! This is clearly a trap!"
"Oh, I see." Luz said.
"Yeah, it's-"
Luz shoved Boscha away.
"Why can't you just be happy for me!?" Luz said, fed up with Boscha trying to ruin her big day, "I'm always on the sidelines when it comes to you! I am always happy and supportive! You're Boscha, the Basketball captain that let the school win state, the girl that is friends with so many people, everything is easy for you! I'm just there at the sidelines, cheering you on, every game, every outing, I'm always there, happy for you... so why can't you be happy for me!?"
Boscha looked at her sister in shock... she had no idea that Luz felt this way.
"Luz, I-"
"I liked you better as a ball... you were a lot quieter." Luz said, before storming off to the area the staff is.
"Luz, wait-"
Boscha felt something wrap around her mouth and pull her back. As that happened, Luz was walking towards the staff.
"Stupid Boscha... she's just jealous that I'll be a better witch than her." Luz said, "Seriously, it's always Boscha, Boscha, Boscha! Well this time, it's gonna be my turn!"
Luz marched up to a shimmering, beautiful lake, accented by lush, green trees. It was unlike anything she encountered thus far in the Demon Realm. In the center of the lake was a platform, and on that platform stood a staff with a blue jewel atop it. There was no mistaking it as far as Luz was concerned. She had found the Celestial Staff. A stone pathway emerged from the lake that led to it. Luz trepidatiously followed the path and stood before the staff.
"This is it. Moment of truth."
Luz slowly reached for the staff. Once she took hold, the artifact shone a bright blue, causing the lake to ripple. She then held the Celestial Staff over her head in triumph.
"YES! I am the chosen one! I knew it! In your face, Boscha! Nobody's gonna doubt me again when I show up with THIS!"
Suddenly, the glowing stopped. The staff dissolved into dust, scattering in the wind. Luz feverishly grasped at the dust as the lake dried up. The trees withered away, revealing a dark landscape that rivaled anything she saw in the Boiling Isles thus far.
"No! Wha- What's happening?"
"Goddamn puppeteers. Why can't this one stick to swindling rich kids in St. Epiderm like the others?"
Eda and King were flying as fast as possible through the trail the Nocedas took.
"What are these puppeteers again?" King inquired.
"Demons that spawn decoys that can look like anyone. Their thing is scamming and manipulating people. He's using Boscha and Luz to try and get to me."
"And we're flying right into his trap. Hooray."
"Well, I'll be damned if I'm gonna give up on those girls and anger that hot mom of theirs!"
"Weh?"
"Full speed ahead, Owlbert!"
"Guys? Where'd you all go?"
Luz withdrew in terror as a strange mist blanketed the area. This feeling was all too familiar to her. That sensation of waking up from a beautiful dream to another weekday morning in Gravesfield. The impending dread of having to face those cruel, condescending looks from students and teachers alike. Coming down from the exhilaration of a real-life quest gave these feelings far more weight. She noticed Adegast appearing before her.
"Luz the human..."
"Magical Wizard?"
"...your hubris has FAILED you, witch apprentice!"
Adegast cackled maniacally as his eyes dislodged from their sockets and dangled from his face. As he rose into the air, Luz noticed a tentacle stuck in his back. A giant, octopus-like demon emerged from the fog. More of his tentacles writhed into view. Each one had Nevareth, Chris, the fairy princess, the animal sidekick, and a few cat villagers attached to them. They all surrounded Luz, staring her down with the same dead, dangling eyes that the wizard sported.
"Okay, Luz, Don't panic." She told herself as she tried to steady her nerves. "This is classic Chosen One biz. You just have to rescue everybody and defeat the final boss."
"I AM everybody, you fool!" The demon bellowed. "Well, except for her."
Nevareth approached Luz, dropping her chain-bound sister in front of her.
"BOSCHA!" Luz cried out as she ran up to her. "Oh no! Are you okay?"
"Take a guess." Boscha deadpanned.
"Don't worry, Sis!" Luz drew her dangerous children's toy to do battle. "The Chosen One's on it!"
Adegast had had enough "Have you seriously not figured it out yet? I'm no wizard and you're no Chosen One! I. Tricked. You!"
At his command, the cape that Luz wore flew off her shoulders and turned into chains that had her trussed up as Boscha was. Her bracelets and rings transformed into shackles to secure her further.
"No!" Luz lamented. "Betrayed by my own cool accessories!"
Boscha rolled across the ground to face the puppeteer. "Hey, Squidbilly! What's your deal? What did we ever do to you?"
"Your mentor has been stealing customers from my potions business for years. She must be destroyed!" Adegast declared. "And you two have lured her into my trap, all because you wanted to believe you were special."
Luz merely scoffed. "Yeah, well the joke's on you, because Eda isn't dumb enough to fall for your trap!"
"ADEGAST!" The sisters groaned as they heard Eda shout.
The demon eagerly awaited her arrival as she flew in between him and the Nocedas. He had already entrapped her and her demon familiar with tentacles before they could even touch down. "I have you now, Owl Lady!"
"Our hero." Boscha wasn't exactly thrilled with her mentor's grand entrance.
"Yeah, okay, you got me." Eda remarked. "Now let these girls go!"
"I didn't have to be part of this!" Poor King cried.
Adegast chuckled. "Oh, they're free to leave... if they want to."
Two of the cat villagers drew closer to the sisters and spewed more of the mysterious fog in their faces. Boscha struggled to free herself and shield herself from all that dense mist. Suddenly, she was no longer bound by her chains. She rose quickly to her feet and tried to get her bearings, but there was only darkness as far as her eyes could see.
"What the shit is this?" She panicked. "HELLOOOOOOO! Luz?! King?! ... Eda? Is anyone here?"
"Oye, Princesa."
Boscha instantly went pale. There was no way that could be who she thought it was. Or could it? She has seen a few ghosts in the Demon Realm already. Is this really where people go when they die? But she was overthinking this. She was just hallucinating, obviously. Her dad couldn't be here and she knew it.
So why couldn't she stop crying?
"Pa... Papi?"
With Luz, she was surrounded by the "People" she was on the adventure with.
"Stay with us Luz, you won't be bullied here." Nevareth said.
"We'd love for you to stay here!" The Fairy Princess said.
"Hola, Boscha." Manny said, "It sure has been a while."
Boscha felt her breath hitch a bit and she took a small step, before falling into him and hugging him.
"¡Te extrañé tanto, Papi! Lamento no haber podido cumplir mi promesa, ¡he tratado de ser la mejor hermana mayor de todos los tiempos!"
"I know, but you're trying." Manny said, "That's why you're my favorite, Princesa."
Boscha stopped for a second and took a step back.
"W-w-what?"
"Stay Luz, you could be our chosen one."
"You're all so nice." Luz said, starting to fall for it.
"You can be whoever you want, you won't have to worry about your sister here."
They began closing in around Luz, as Luz closed her eyes.
"I said that's why you're my favorite, Boscha." Manny said, "You've always been so good to Luz, even when she didn't deserve it."
Boscha closed her eyes, just like Luz
...
...
...
"THIS ISN'T REAL!"
Luz and Boscha knocked back Adegast's minions, Boscha with her fists, and Luz with the toy sword. Both were crying and looked angry. Boscha clenched her fist.
"Don't you EVER use my dad to try and trick me again!" Boscha said, "YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT HIM!"
"Boscha is the greatest thing to ever happen to me, don't use a world without her as a way to make me fall for your tricks!" Luz said, holding the sword out, "I don't deserve someone as kind hearted and caring as her, so don't make her seem like the bad one!"
Adegast moved the minions over to them, but the sisters just gave a nod and ran at them. Luz swung the sword at Chris, while Boscha headed for Nevareth... she didn't care if she wasn't good at magic, she was going to torch this son of a bitch!
"I swear I'll never get the appeal of edgelord douchebros like you." Boscha exclaimed as she prepared a fire spell.
"Witch, you're just jealous of my swagger." Nevareth thought baiting her through taunting would work on her. Unfortunately for him, it did. He soon found himself on the receiving end of a rather sizeable fireball. Boscha took a minute to watch him burn, satisfied with her handiwork.
"I'm starting to think I have an unhealthy fixation with fire."
Luz, meanwhile, was making short work of the cat villagers with her dangerous toy sword. The wizard almost snuck up on her, but Boscha was quick to intercept him. While the wizard was busy being pummeled, the fairy princess rushed Luz, bearing a face that resembled that of the fairy she encountered yesterday. But for all the princess' ferocity, she, too was felled by the plastic blade of the human.
"You can eat all the tiny food you want... IN HECK!" Luz figured with a dry cool wit like that, she could be an action hero.
Adegast howled in pain as each of his puppets were destroyed. Eda and the Nocedas proved to be more than he bargained for. He had to think of a way out. Fortunately, the small, bone-plated demon was within tentacle's reach.
"Back off!" Adegast demanded as he held King in his grasp. "Or the dog gets it!"
"I am not a dog!" King protested.
Boscha marched up to him. "Let my puppers go, or calamari's gonna be on the menu tonight!"
"Uhhh... Arf! Arf!" King was suddenly less adamant in his protest.
Boscha's boisterous attitude was all the distraction Luz needed. With all her might, she flung the mighty children's toy which sliced through the tentacle holding King and embedded itself in Adegast's head. Boscha looked on in terror at the devastation the fake sword caused.
"Goddamn, how did toy stores even let that shit on the market in the first place?!" Boscha wondered as she spun a huge spell circle.
"WAIT?!" Adegast cried out.
"Ugh... what?"
"I just have to know one thing... what IS green and red and goes about a hundred miles an hour?"
"Oh." Boscha laughed at the thought of the answer. "A frog in a blender."
With the flourish of her hand, she brought forth an enormous fireball that incinerated the puppeteer. Soon, he was nothing but a small, shriveled, roasted squid.
"Well, that's the last time I get an outside referral." Eda griped as she picked up Adegast and ate him. "Ha...*snort*... 'frog in a blender'."
"Figures you'd like that." Luz reckoned. "Maybe you're her long lost mom."
"Yeah, right." Eda chortled. "I think I would have noticed if I had a kid. Right, Triclops?"
The young witch stood in silence.
"Boscha? Are you okay?" Luz fretted.
The young witch fell to the ground.
"BOSCHA?!"
"Is she gonna be okay?"
"Don't worry about it." Eda assured Luz.
Boscha was laid up on the couch in the Owl House, pale and shivering. Luz had her bundled in both of their sleeping bags and a cup of tea at the ready. Eda was casting some sort of spell that Luz couldn't figure out. All she knew was that the energy was deep blue and that it soothed her sister somehow.
"Now will you tell me what happened to her?" She asked the Owl Lady.
"Well, you remember what I told you about a witch's bile sac?"
"Uh-huh."
"And as I explained earlier, the bigger the spell circle, the bigger the spell. When your sister kept casting those huge fire spells, she drained most of the magic bile in her system practically at once. The shock of it all just knocked her on her ass. All she needs is to sleep it off like a bad hangover. Come to think of it, I have a cure for that! BRB!"
As Eda left the room, Luz and King sat on the floor next to Boscha. The human watched her sister in the hopes that she'll come to.
"I can't believe I said all those things to her, King. I never wanted to make her feel bad. It's just... When we were growing up together, she was always so good at stuff, she was popular and a sports superstar. I'm happy for her, but I still wanted so badly to have my own thing I excelled at. It's been my lifelong dream to be a witch like Azura, and that quest sounded like the way to do it. Boscha was able to see through that, though. I guess she knew I wouldn't be witch enough to handle this place."
"Huh? What are you talking about?" King blurted. "I thought she only agreed to be here because of you."
"What are YOU talking about? We're helping her understand her magic and find her parents."
"Oh, yeah, she doesn't care about any of that."
"She WHAT?! Then why-?"
"Before you guys left this morning, she told us that the only reason she stuck around was so your mom would let you stay and be a witch. And she did it with swears." King giggled.
"Shit, you're such a narc."
Luz and King recoiled in shock when they heard Boscha speak. She wasn't wide awake, but alert enough to join in on the conversation.
"Boscha?" Luz fretted. "You really stayed just for me? But why?"
"So Mom didn't turn you down, for one." Boscha clarified. "And the more I see you gawking at things here and talking with Eda and this little floof..." She continued as she patted King on the head. "...the more I think you could belong here. I truly believe you could become a witch."
"Except I fell for Adegast's trap. You tried to warn me, but I didn't listen because... because I wasn't... I didn't want to..."
"You wanted it to be true so badly?"
"Yeah! How'd you know?"
"I had the same feeling when I learned we were in the Demon Realm. As much as it felt like I came from this place, I wanted to believe I was human. I was afraid I wouldn't feel as close to you and Mom if I was a witch."
"We're really a pair, huh?" Luz laughed. "A human and a witch, each wanting to be the other."
"But you CAN be a witch." Boscha insisted. "Just not by way of some creepy demon-wizard thing and his dumb quest. I know you'll get there on your own terms, so I'm not gonna suffer some slimy jerk giving you the runaround."
"Awwwww." Luz sidled up next to her sister. "You really are my plucky sidekick."
Boscha groaned. "You are so lucky I don't have the strength to grind my knuckles into your scalp."
"You gotta pick your battles."
As the two laughed, Eda watched from the doorway in the back of the living room. The sisterly bonding on display in her home threatened to dig up some old feelings in her she buried long ago. Was it really a good idea to take these two in? Was it worth it even for the sake of getting on the good side of their enticing mother?
Only time would tell.
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