A white surface. The camera slowly moves towards Serbia. She is sitting on the floor. One hand is on an open old chest. The other is holding a phone. "I don't care that he's the most affordable nearby seashore for Central Europe. He's not right in the head and no amount of beach can cover that."

She listens while her collocutor speaks. "Mhm mhm. Are you reading that off your PR's cue cards right now?" she blurts with a clam expression. The nation on the other line pauses and ends the call.

She puts the phone down and continues rummaging through her chest. Unknown to her, France happens to causally walk past her. "Oh, I haven't seen this in a while", she says holding up an army barrette. France stops intrigued. Serbia places the hat on her head and checks herself in the mirror. France turns her, completely by surprise. She gasps stunned. Holding her in a tango position, he looks her into her surprised eyes and says: "I would love to eat your arse."

"What?"

"I would love to eat your arse", he says slower but even more determined. With a nervous chuckle, she squirms to get out of his grasp. "You're joking right?"

"I have never been more serious in my life."

"I'm sorry but I'm not into that", she says wiggling with all her strengths. He tries to hold on but Serbia manages to untangle herself from his grasp and bolts away.

Next scene: The area is empty again. Serbia hides at the edge of the screen. She pops her head to look around. "The coast is clear. Phew."

"Oh please, I would hardly call that a problem. You had worst problems than that", her old friend N. Macedonia says, walking into the scene. "At least he's not trying to erase your culture from existence and assimilate you into himself", she says bitter as the red-eyed transparent image of Bulgaria menacingly hovers over her. It disappears only when she turns her head towards it and sighs.

"In that regard, I'm still not out of the wood yet. But still, 'eat my arse'. Eww! What kind of a nation would accept a thing like that."

Her friend shrugs. "A kinks a kink."

"Yeah well, I'm getting sick of such kinks. You wouldn't believe the offers I got recently. Some of them are really out there..." Serbia complains.

"I see. Are you interested in any of them?"

"Um... I kinda... I'm..."

"You're what?"

"Never mind", she says waving her hands.

N. Macedonia rolls her eyes. "Well, if your done with your pity party, I have my own problems to worry about. See you."

"Um...Bye" Serbia utters. Making sure that she is alone, she sighs relieved.

Her phone rings. "Well, well, well. Haven't heard from you in a while. Where have you been stranger?" she says cold. As the nation on the other line talks, she observes her fingernails disinterested.

"Busy as usual, huh", she says. "No", she puffs. "Why would I be mad? It's your life after all. Don't let something like little me stop you from having fun" she added sarcastically. The nation on the other line continues carefully.

"Me, oh great great... Economy is booming. Got some great offers too."

Her callers change of tone causes her to smirk. "I don't know if I'll accept it. You know what they say 'Feeble is the female heart'."

She nods and listens calm. "A date tonight? Sure. Dinner sounds lovely. See you then" she smiles victorious. Ending the call, she ponders.

"Should I shave or wax my legs for the occasion?... Ah I'll do a full leg wax. Why not splurge a little?" she says carefree and prances out off the scene with her nose up.