Happy Thanksgiving to the USA!

Early chapter upload - a little Spock POV!

CHAPTER 16

McCoy refused to speak to Spock for days after his initial outburst on finding Aggie in the Science Labs.

"Why you cold-blooded, son of a—" he had started to yell, furious that Spock had let Aggie work throughout the night, but his rant had been cut short by a soft plea. Nothing else, not even the captain's obvious pain at the shouting, could have stopped McCoy mid-rant, except for those four whispered words: "Len, I'm so tired."

"I'm taking her to her quarters to rest," McCoy had hissed at them before guiding her from the room.

Spock was now in his own quarters. He had found sleep evasive and had rose early to meditate, but as he continued to kneel on the sand-colored cushion in his room, the temperature a comfortable 105 degrees Fahrenheit, Spock found that he could not. He could find no solace in the meditative rituals, and he reached up to rub the tension from his temples.

The memory of McCoy's anger and of Aggie's distress left Spock in mental discord. It had been obvious that Aggie was straining herself in the Science Labs, but it was equally obvious to Spock that it was critical for her to find the answers she sought. Without learning of her past, and dealing with whatever that might imply, Aggie would never be able to recover from her fears. Of which, Spock was more than aware.

Since Aggie had returned from the moon, Spock had found it somewhat difficult to be in her presence. The Romulan's accusations had inflamed her emotional uncertainties into a near-continual psychic scream. He could have endured the discomfort, of course, but he held Aggie in too high a regard to listen to her unshielded thoughts. He blocked out as much of them as he could, but he still felt overwhelming sensations of worry and fear. Her insecurity had become so profound during a gathering to celebrate Ensign Chekov's day of birth that Spock had found himself wondering if McCoy would still find him attractive should he turn out to be something dangerous. Would McCoy still hold him? Kiss him?

Spock had excused himself after realizing that he'd been gazing longingly at Dr. McCoy from the other side of the room. A parting glance at Aggie, who was talking with Lt. Uhura near the dessert table, revealed a mirrored expression of longing and fear.

The experience had been—as humans would have described it—unnerving, and Spock had fled the gathering early.

Even without Aggie's emotions pummeling his defenses, Spock was already more in tune with human emotions than he cared to admit. Dr. McCoy had never thought to analyze his range of smell which could pick up subtle changes in biochemistry as emotional creatures interacted with each other. Nurse Chapel, for instance, always produced a slightly salty effect to her usual scent if he was in the room longer than one point seven minutes. In response, Spock would increase the depth and evenness of his breathing in order to maximize the amount of Chapel's scent he inhaled which, ironically, gave him a calm if not bored-looking expression.

Christine was a highly competant officer, he thought suddenly before quickly chastising himself. Meditation was to renew one's mind, not for letting one's thoughts run amok.

He turned his thoughts once more to Aggie's mysterious past. Within hours, the Enterprise would reach her home planet, which the crew had unofficially named Origin. Spock wondered if Aggie would remain Aggie after today or would her fugue make her AGEE 1-17 once more? Or would she be an entirely new creature with two histories?

And what of Dr. McCoy?

His friendship with the doctor was an odd one, certainly an argumentative one, but one that Spock valued deeply. The fact that Spock would not openly display this appreciation was part of the strange groundwork of their friendship. Spock refused to become emotional, McCoy flaunted his emotions; Spock acted in a consistently logical behavior, McCoy relished spontaneous human behavior.

McCoy's loneliness, although expertly hidden, had been no secret to Spock. What would happen to his friend if Aggie became someone else? Had McCoy even considered the possibility?

In all probability, the answer was no. McCoy was too stubborn, too passionate; he held nothing of himself in reserve. It was an equation for disaster should the day prove contrary to the doctor's hopes.

Unable to dispel the cloud of worry that enveloped him, and finding no solace in meditation, he stood from the cushion and extinguished the incense burners. What is, is not always, he repeated to himself silently, watching as the smoke dissipated. What will be, shall pass. The childhood mantra of his youth, which had brought comfort during times of bullying by his fellow, full-blooded peers, fell short of comforting him now.

Spock dressed and headed for the bridge hours before his shift was scheduled to begin. Perhaps the familiar sounds and sights of work would do for him what meditation and mantras could not.

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