Italy is crying in the white blank space that countries occupy. Serbia walks over to see what the hubbub is all about.
"What's wrong?" she asks worried. Italy sniffs, takes his fists from his wet cheek and shows her a folded piece of paper. "My electricity bill," he says sad.
Serbia gulps seeing the numbers and the hefty price that came with it. "Forgot to turn off your Christmas lights this year?" she titters.
"No, this is a regular bill, for a regular summer month. I am doomed," he says still teary eyed and covered his sobbing with his hands.
She sighs and hugs him. "There, there. You'll figure it out," she pats him on the back as he puts one of his hands on her non-existent boob. "Hey!"
"Sorry," he cries. "An old reflex. I won't do it again I swear."
She looks at him in that miserable state with pity. "It's fine. Well, take care."
Leaving him with slow heavy steps, she walks over to the next country. Switzerland turns to her nervous, distressed even more at her cold expression. "Listen, about what I said..."
"It's alright. It was not all your fault. I was not in the best state of mind."
"So we are alright?"
"For the most part, no worse off than before" she nods.
"Oh" he puffs relieved. "And what about you. Are you better now?"
She sighs a little absentminded. "Not really. I fear the worst is yet to come. My most southern province is acting up" she grumbles and scowls. "That little brat. Curse all who feed the wrath in his little black heart!" she says turning to the white empty space they inhabit.
"Um" her companion adds. "Can't you do something about it? Find a peaceful solution?"
She looks down shy and starts moving her foot as if pressing on a cigarette bud. "I wish I could, but I don't see it. It's funny, you know. Usually I have some clue what will happen next, but in this day and age, as nations are forced to fight their nearest and dearest, my mind turns as blank as this canvas we reside on" she concludes with a sigh.
"Oh la, la. And I though I was into melodrama" France adds. He approaches, looks at the two and places his elbow on Switzerland's shoulder, making the smaller nation irritated that he was made into a rest post.
Serbia tilts her head and squints at him.
"What's the matter?" France asks with poise.
"You look different. Have you done something with your hair?" she asks.
"Maybe? Why?"
"It's glossier than usual. And is that some new jewellery I see?"
"Just something my ancestors left as an heirloom." France lets out a confident laugh touching the Celtic-looking neckpiece. "I look good, no?" he adds adjusting his elbow and making his companion grumble.
"It's an interesting look to say the least..." she answers.
"Care to take me on my offer now" he adds with a devinaire smile.
She shrugs her head into her shoulders awkward. "Um, no thank you."
France smacks his lip. "Serbie do not be such a prune. A little bit of arse licking is not taboo. You do have a bidea, no?"
Her cheeks clench tighter that those of frat boys at a gay bar.
"Let's change the subject, okay?" their third companion adds uncomfortable. France looks down at him disapprovingly.
Serbia titters, quickly changing the topic. "Oh well, nice that I can talk to you now. Who knows if we will ever be able to do it normally again."
"What do you mean?" they both ask.
"Well, if my concerns are correct, I will have a lot of problems this fall. And if the 90s have thought us anything, it's that western countries have a very limited understanding on how global politics works. So, I figured I can chat with you now before I'm proclaimed a monster again."
"Serbie I would never..." France utters, before she holds up her hand.
"Don't vow that yet. Only time will tell. Now, if you will excuse me, there are more countries I wish to speak with" she adds sombre and passes them. "Hey Spain!" she calls out moving off-screen.
The two left nations look at each other dumbfounded, with Switzerland finally shrugging France's arm off.
Meanwhile, Spain stands in his own corner of the void, for some reason looking like a distraught and budge-eyed Massimo from The Next 365 days (P.S. I didn't read or watch it, I saw a few reviews)
"Que?" he answers the approaching Serbia.
"Hi, I just wanted to chat. How are you?" she says friendly to which he shrugs.
"Things were better" he adds and goes quiet again.
After a moment of them standing awkwardly like that, Serbia continues. "I know what you mean. These prize spikes, am I right? Sure could use some gold bars right about now" she adds jokingly.
Spain hums not even opening his mouth. "From my experience, having little gold is not good. But having too much is even worse. Trust me on this. I had the thing coming out of my nostrils and it ruined me."
She titters trying to make the tone lighter. "Good to know" she adds slowly.
"Hey, what is this all about?" Portugal walks by and smiles seeing the female nation. "Oh, how nice to see you. Hope my mopy friend hadn't completely ruined your day" he says turning to his neighbour, who raises his nose away from him. "His in Spain without the S" Portugal whispers.
Serbia chuckles. "No, no. I've been there myself. Do me a favor Spain. Be careful when going swimming out at sea. No matter how good of a swimmer you are, you never know when the waves can get you."
Portugal raises his eyebrow "That's a random piece of advice" he adds to which Serbia can only shrug.
"Not as random as you being an honorary Eastern European/Balkan state" he says to Portugal, leaving the female stunned. "What? Why? By whose..."
"The Internet" they reply.
"Oh" she adds briefly. "Okay, then. Well, gotta go. Bye" she waves and goes off screen.
"Farewell. Take care" Portugal waves so enthusiastically that it makes Spain roll his eyes. His companion notices and turns to him with a grumpy "What?"
The next nation is the merry Ireland singing a tune with a beer in his hand.
"Some say the devil is dead, the devil is dead, the devil is dead
Some say the devil is dead and buried in Killarney"
Scotland joins him embracing him by the shoulder and extending his pint high.
"More say he rose again, more say he rose again, more say he rose again
And joined the British army!"
Britain, who is nearby, sitting in an old-fashioned armchair and reading a newspaper, grumbles displeased. "Must you sing such awful things? Have some decency will you? I am trying to concentrate," he adds with gentlemen-like annoyance.
"Ah, sod off you nagging" Scotland starts but goes quiet seeing that a girl is approaching.
Serbia walks over to them blank part of the screen and waves. "Hi, Ireland! Scotland!" she smiles before turning to frown at Britain. "Satan" she utters as a greeting to which Britain does not reply.
"Having fun I see" she adds to the two nations.
"You bet!" Ireland adds.
"The best way to swish your worries away." Scotland adds. "Why don't you join us?"
She sighs. "Sorry, I would but I have a lot more countries to catch up with" she adds friendly.
"Why? Are you going somewhere?" Ireland asks.
"I hope not... We'll see. In the meantime, catch you later" she waves again and takes a step. "Bye Satan" she adds walking pass the sitting Britain.
"Cheerio" he replies cracking the sides of his newspaper.
"Hey!" Ireland yells offended. "How come you are not complaining when she calls you that?"
Britain grumbles discretely before replying. "Because she has every right to be" he utters, leaving Scotland and Ireland's jaws to drop in utter shock.
Next country on the way is Belgium. Looking distressed, she holds a shovel while looking at the lush trees around her.
"You okay?" a female voice startles her, almost making her drop her tool.
"Oh. Thank goodness, it's only you" Belgium utters relieved.
Serbia looks around confused. "Doing some gardening?"
"Um, no. I am contemplating how smart it is to cut all these trees down. Keeping warm is important, but a natural defences in case of war is too" she says worried.
The Balkan nation nods with empathy. "That does seem like a conundrum. But why cut them? You made your point. Simply lift the sanctions and be done with it."
She blinked in disbelief. "Are you serious? And leave all those poor Ukrainians to suffer?"
Her companion grows irritated. "Do you know who most of the people living in those regions are fighting for?... Not for the ones you are supporting. That's for sure."
Belgium tilted her head with the dial-up net sound coming from both her earlobes. Her poor EU bureaucratic brain could not comprehend the information it had received.
"I'm afraid I don't follow" she replied in an almost robotic-like voice.
Her companion sighed, shaking her head. Patting her on the shoulder, she adds in a motherly tone: "Get one of those energy-efficient furnaces. It takes some used to lighting them quickly, so use smaller wood pieces and cardboard first in a cake layer fashion. Then add slightly larger logs but not the biggest ones. Those you have to save for when the fire is nice and lively. That way you won't have to refill it for at least two hours."
Belgium gulps, clenching the shovel close to her chest. She nods quickly, with her lips pressed. Serbia smiles sad and says her goodbye.
The Netherlands stares broodingly at the sea, with his iconic scarf swayed by the wind as he puffs his pipe nervously. Serbia approaches curious of his tense state.
"Hey there! Something on your mind?" she asks carefully.
The Netherlands still looking in the same spot, blurts a quick reply: "Land."
"Oh" she says looking over his shoulder at the restless waves. "Yeah. Your land sinking into the sea must be a nightmare. Too bad you don't have any volcanoes around. One minor eruption would fix your problem asap" she jokes. But her titter is interrupted by his frustrated glare. He swiftly turns to her with his face moulded into a menacing grimace. "Say, Serbia. What is the reason for you being here and bothering me all of a sudden" he says in a pent up growl.
The girl touches her index fingers anxiously. "I simply wanted to chat" she stuttered, frightened by this not-so-calm-and-collected version of the lowlands.
"Well, we did. Now go away. I don't need third-grade would-be-EU countries bothering me with their ill-thought out suggestions!" he yelled leaning down to frown in her eye-level.
"Okay, okay" she says defensive. "I'm leaving."
Quickening her step, he turns back to brood at the sea.
"How rude... And violent!" she whispers shivering at the thought that he might have heard her. After an encounter like that, visiting Germany has been out off the question. Denmark watches everything from his far away shores. "Hey! What about me?" he asks offended.
Still in shock, she only waves. "Sorry Legoland. Maybe next time."
"Legoland?" he raises his upper lip to the side.
"Yeah" she replies from afar. "It's the only way I can remember you exist."
Czechia is holding up a protest sign and chanting: "No more b*llsh*t! Down with tyranny!"
Serbia cautiously walks over and asks: "Wow! I never saw you look so determined!"
The protesting nation turns to her. She does not seem in the mood to talk.
"Never mind then" Serbia slowly says and awkwardly tiptoes away as Czechia continues to yell slogans.
Not a moment later, someone grabs her hand and pulls her to the side. "Ah! Hey what gives?" she frowns at the culprit Slovakia.
"I'll explain on the way. Come with me!" he blurts pulling her towards the east.
"Stop it! I already told you, time and time again. I'm not fighting Russia in any way" she yells trying to loosen his grip. Turns out he has a very strong hold for such a tiny man.
"It's not that. Haven't you noticed that all European countries are out of their minds" he says.
"Well, yes. It's starting to get abundantly clear. The Netherlands just spelled it out for me. And since his language has that almost-spitting H sound, I had two reasons to be weary" she yells finally getting her hand back. Rubbing the held part, she asks frowning. "Now, why did you drag me here?"
Slovakia points quickly to Poland who seems to be muttering menacingly while hoarding a vast number of weapons. "I'm gonna get ya. Yes, I will. Yes, I will" he murmurs like a madman.
Serbia sighs annoyed. "Alight, I'll see what I can do." Coming closer, she says with a patronizing tone. "What do you have there buddy?"
He hisses and moves away holding grenades in both hands.
"Don't worry. I wont hurt you" she titters, waving her hands in a friendly manner.
Poland frowns and returns to stacking. "I'm preparing my weapons in case of war."
"I see. For defence purposes, right?" she asks calmly. Poland stops and side-glances her.
"For defense purposes, right?" she repeats a little nervous.
"Yes" he blurts and continues his work.
Serbia sighs again. Slovakia just watches them adding nothing to the conversation.
"Look, I know you are all tense because of this horrible situation you got yourself into. But can't we take a step back? Can't we look at the brighter side for one?"
"Like what?" Poland asks irritated.
"Like, it's the sport season!" she says excited. "Don't you want to watch your team compete?"
Poland stops to ponder. "I guess. It would be fun to see what my team does at the World Cup" he says a little calmer.
"There you go. Isn't that a better victory? Cheering and bringing back trophies. Sure beats outcries and shelling" she says excited.
"Sadly, I didn't qualify" Slovakia lowers his head.
Serbia hugs them both. "Well, don't worry. I'm sure you'll find someone to root for. "Now, where's the nearest sports bar. I feel like playing a ticket or two!" she adds smiling.
"Yeah!" both cheer excited. Poland drops his guns and does what she says and Slovakia gleefully tags along. Patting them on the back, she stops as the two go off-screen.
"That was close. Can't wait to get back to my comfy home life" she taps her palms and leaves the other way.