CHAPTER NINETEEN: HIRAETH
Flora wasn't exactly sure how they made it back upstairs and into the flat again without waking Sirius or Remus, but she hardly noticed for how light she felt. Even with Regulus' magic muffling their feet and the sound of the door, she felt certain a light would flick on and reveal them any moment. But nothing happened. The door to Sirius and Remus' room was shut, just as it had been when they left. It was two o'clock in the morning.
She scrubbed the face paint off and put her pyjamas on in the bathroom while Regulus wandered back into the front room. When she came back, he'd removed all trace of the makeup from his face, which she wondered at, but wondered more at the fact he asleep on her sofa-bed. He was lying on his stomach, still fully dressed, with his arm dangling over the edge of the sofa. He appeared as though he had stumbled in and fallen asleep in the first available spot he'd found. Flora blinked sleepily, rubbing at her face, which felt a little numb. She considered waking him to send him back to his own makeshift bed on the other side of the room, but he was sleeping so peacefully she didn't have the heart to do it. She instead crawled over him and settled down to sleep facing the other direction.
They both slept with undisturbed ease until sometime around half past ten when Flora heard Remus and Sirius getting up. She didn't open her eyes at first. Her head was still spinning and she felt like she had cottonwool in her mouth, but gradually she became aware of Regulus sleeping beside her. She opened her eyes and turned her head. He was breathing deeply and softly, lips slightly parted, his arm hooked around a cushion. He was fully facing her, when before they had been back-to-back, and was mere inches from pressing himself into her bottom. Flora sat up with a start, her eyes wide with panic. She heard her brother laughing and talking to Sirius just down the hallway and his voice was getting closer. With all the strength she could muster, she shoved Regulus off the sofa with both hands. He went down like a sack of potatoes, and all Flora heard was him yelp and curse just as Remus opened the door and came in.
Regulus didn't seem to notice Remus, who had stopped short in the doorway. Regulus' head shot up in view of Flora, his hair tousled, and a scowl fixed on his face.
"What the bloody hell—" he started. "Are you mental?"
Remus' eyes bounced between the two of them, taking in the situation. Regulus noticed the wide-eyed look of sheer panic in Flora's expression and looked over her head to Remus in the doorway. His eyes guiltily flickered over to his own bed. It hadn't gone unnoticed by Remus that the bed had not been slept in.
"What's going on?" Remus frowned. "Why does it smell of alcohol in here?"
"It doesn't," Flora replied, throwing herself back down against the cushions and pulling the covers around herself, as though this would make Remus go away. Regulus, still scowling, got up and sat down on the end of Flora's sofa-bed.
"Right, you," Remus pointed a finger at Regulus, narrowing his eyes.
"Remus," Flora groaned.
"What about me?" Regulus glared.
"Why aren't you in your bed?" He demanded. It was one week until the full moon and he was not in a patient mood, particularly with someone he disliked as much as Regulus.
"I was."
"He was," Flora put in, her voice muffled.
Sirius came into the room at that moment, looking from Remus to Flora, then over to his brother. Though Remus did have an acute sense of smell due to being a werewolf, it didn't take a powerful nose to notice the sharp, sweet odour of alcohol that pervaded the room.
"What's going on?" Sirius asked, though he had a strong suspicion he already knew. "Why does it smell like booze?"
"That's what I want to know," Remus replied, folding his arms with his eyes still level on Regulus. His protective instinct for Flora was not going to let it drop. "And your brother, by the look of it, was sleeping next to my little sister."
"He was not!" Flora threw the covers back, her face flushed.
"I was already up," Regulus said calmly. His head was dizzy from the alcohol and now also from hitting his head on the floor. Staying calm, he feared, would not be possible for much longer. "I've been up for an hour," he lied, "And I was sitting next to Flora on the floor. She smacked me because I tried to wake her up."
Sirius gave his brother a long, measured look. He knew Regulus well enough to recognise when he was lying, and had a feeling he was not telling the whole truth. Remus also looked unconvinced. He looked at Flora for confirmation.
"Is that true, Flo?" His voice was quiet, but firm.
"Yes," she sighed, glaring. "Why would he be in my bed?"
"And why does it smell like you've both been drinking?" Remus asked next.
"You were both drinking last night," Regulus pointed out, looking at Remus and Sirius steadily. "The room smelled before you went to bed last night."
"Do you think I'm stupid, Regulus?" Remus took a sudden step into the room like he was going to lunge at Regulus. Sirius put his hand out on Remus' chest.
"Would you go away?" Flora snapped irritably. "I want to sleep.
"It's half past ten," Remus frowned. "What have you been doing?"
"Nothing," she turned over and pulled the covers around herself again, burying herself into the cushions.
Remus continued to assail his sister, demanding she answer him. Flora grumbled something and buried herself even further under the covers, pulling them over her head. Remus pulled them off her.
"Hey!" Flora cried out, vainly reaching back for them.
"Why does it smell of booze in here? I can smell it on your skin."
"I'm trying to sleep, will you fuck off!" Flora shot back angrily. "You're being such an arsehole!"
"Don't you speak to me like that," he said warningly.
"Go away."
"What have you been drinking?" He moved over to the bottle of fire whiskey that was still sitting on the small dining table by the window. He picked it up and tilted it slightly, holding it by the neck to gauge whether she'd been drinking it and how much.
"Remus," Sirius rubbed his face. "Can we all just calm down. Please."
"Flora," Remus ignored him, putting the bottle, which had clearly not been touched, back down with a deep frown. "What were you drinking? Did you bring something?" He looked to Regulus again, narrowing his eyes on him accusingly. "Trying to get my sister drunk?"
Regulus's face darkened and he stood up to his full height. "I think you'll find that your sister can make her own decisions about what she wants to do. You're not her father. Leave her alone."
Sirius looked increasingly torn between wanting to defend his younger brother and keeping the peace. He stood at Remus' elbow as Remus took a step towards Regulus, his eyes burning dangerously.
"No, I'm not her father," Remus snapped at Regulus, "But I'm her brother, and I'm here to look out for her, especially when there's someone like you around."
"Remus—" Sirius started.
Flora suddenly sat up. Her hair was sticking up in every direction and her eyes were ablaze with anger. "So what if I've been drinking? I'm eighteen. Leave me alone! I went out with Mark and—"
"Mark? Who's Mark?" Remus exclaimed.
"The boy from the shop. We went out and I was drinking, but I'm back now and I'm obviously fine so will you please just fucking drop it?"
"You went out drinking with some random guy?" Remus replied, incredulous.
"He is not just some random guy!" Flora retorted. "I've been talking to him since I got here."
"Oh, so all of two weeks?" Remus glared. "You went out and got drunk with a guy you just met? Do you have any idea how stupid that is?" His attention then darted to Regulus, who was standing partially in front of Flora. "And you? You must have known. You just let her go? Or did you go too?"
"He was sleeping when I left," Flora cut in before Regulus could answer. "He didn't know."
Remus shot Regulus a venomous glare. "You swore to the Order that you'd keep her safe!"
"She is safe!" Regulus shot back.
"Actually," Flora put in, looking at Remus,"You said his duty was to keep me safe in Wales, not London. Unless I'm hallucinating, I'm clearly in London right now and it was your job to stop me going anywhere. But you were drinking."
Flora pointing out her brother's hypocrisy only incited him further. "And you know you're not supposed to go anywhere without me or Sirius."
"You think I'd bring you two along on my date?" Flora scoffed indignantly. "Do you want to be there on my wedding night too? Although there's a fat chance of that when you won't even let me go out."
"You can stop with the cheek, Flora," Remus glared.
Flora climbed off the sofa and dragged her bag out from underneath, at once snatching up all her belongings and stuffing them inside without care. All the records she had bought, the clothes, the books, she shoved them all into this bag.
"What are you doing?" He sighed as he watched his sister.
"Getting away from you. I'm going home."
"Fine, go then," Remus snapped back. "You can sulk with Regulus."
"Better than arguing with you."
"You're not even dressed."
Flora ignored him. She looked to Sirius when she had managed to zip up her bag. "I'd like to go now, please."
"Flo, are you sure—"
"Now."
Sirius looked to Remus helplessly, but Remus just turned his head aside, clenching his jaw and trying to look unaffected.
A short while later, Sirius, Flora, and Regulus were standing on the damp, green grass of Wales in front of the old cottage. Flora, still in just her pyjamas, strode off ahead of them towards the door before she could feel the chill of the air. Sirius unlocked it with a swish of his wand as she approached, letting her in. In spite of her annoyance, she felt a distinct comfort in coming home. She was looking forward to sleeping in her own bed, to having more space, less eyes on her. And she had missed Wales. There was a word for that in her language: hiraeth. She'd felt a longing for her home as the weather grew darker and colder; to sit curled up in front of the ancient fireplace with one of her books while the wind blew around the eaves of the windows was a feeling that could only be articulated by that word.
She filled and put the kettle on as soon as she came in, then regarded the room with some measure of surprise by how clean it was. Regulus came through the front door and shut it behind him.
"Has Sirius gone?" Flora raised an eyebrow.
Regulus nodded. "Mmm. He said he'd come back later, let you cool off."
"I'm not the one who needs to cool off," Flora snapped. "It's my brother who needs—"
"Yes, I know, I know," Regulus conceded.
"Good," she grumbled.
Regulus smiled thinly. He shook his coat off and hung it up, looking every bit of dignified as Flora looked flustered. She felt a little silly now and looked down at the teddy bear print on her flannel pyjamas, crossing her arms around herself. Regulus leaned against the kitchen sink and looked at her.
"It's so clean in here," she said quickly.
"Yes, I've had a house elf here, remember?"
"Right," Flora nodded. She avoided his eye as she spoke. Now she had a moment to think about it, all she could remember when she looked at Regulus was the way his mouth had felt against hers.
"It was good that you stood up to him," Regulus said after a moment. "To your brother, I mean. He was being a prick."
"I wouldn't have called that standing up to him," Flora shrugged. The kettle finished boiling and she turned around to prepare tea. Regulus, however, pulled out his wand and set the task to do itself with magic. Flora had grown somewhat used to the casual use of magic since staying with Remus and Sirius, but it still gave her a moment to pause. She turned back around to Regulus.
"How's your head?" He asked.
"Hurts a little," she grumbled, again lowering her gaze. "How's yours?"
What she really wanted to ask was if he remembered kissing her and if he regretted it, but she couldn't find the words. Regulus shrugged. "My head's fine. Your muggle alcohol isn't as strong as wizard stuff."
Flora's eyes snapped back up to his face. "Do you mean you weren't drunk?"
"No, I was a little drunk," he replied. "But I think you were more drunk."
Flora grimaced and so he quickly added, in an attempt to make her feel better, "Which isn't surprising since, well, you're a girl, and a muggle."
Flora rubbed her face and groaned softly. "I was so stupid."
Regulus looked a little worried all of a sudden. "Stupid?"
Flora couldn't say it. She couldn't say it unless he said it. She turned away to look at the tea instead, which now only needed milk. She went to the fridge herself to get it, while at the same time Regulus moved to stand beside her. She resolutely kept her eyes down as she poured the milk into the cups.
"Why won't you look at me?" Regulus asked. Like her, he could not directly broach the subject and wouldn't say it unless she did first.
Flora didn't answer. More accurately, she didn't know how to answer and she didn't know where to begin. She finished making the tea, stirring hers so aggressively that liquid spilled over the edges, and then handed one of the cups to Regulus. She swiftly walked towards the stairs.
"I'm going to rest in my room," she said.
A prickle of unease and guilt crept up the back of Regulus' neck, worried suddenly that she would walk in and know immediately he had been in her room. There was nothing he could do or say to prevent her, or else risk her suspicion. Flora paused at the door though, one foot on the step, glancing back at him sheepishly.
"Will that house elf be coming back?" She asked.
"Uh, probably," he replied, a little surprised by the question.
"What time?"
"He comes at lunchtime, around noon, and then again at five to prepare dinner."
"Oh…" she seemed to be deliberating over something, torn between ending it there and going upstairs, or saying something more. Finally, she chose the latter. "Would you… if you see him, I mean, would you tell him he doesn't need to come back?"
"Not even to clean?" Regulus asked with a small frown. "It would be much easier for you if we kept him on."
"No," she shook her head. "No, I just… I don't… I don't really like house elves. I'm scared of them."
Regulus' raised on eyebrow. "Scared of them?"
Flora huffed softly through her nose, lifting her eyes to meet his. "Yes."
A small smile tugged at his lips. "Why?"
"Because…" she frowned, "Oh, I'll tell you later. My head hurts and I want to lie down."
With that, she hurried off upstairs to her room and left Regulus alone in the kitchen.
Though Flora was sleepy and hungover, it didn't escape her notice when she walked into her bedroom that the teddy bears on her bed had been disturbed. They were parted in the middle, leaning, and when she came closer she found that her favourite one was on the floor. She frowned to herself, a little perplexed, but perhaps she had left them this way. She picked up her old bear and clutched it to her chest as she got under the covers, pulling them around herself in a cocoon. As she drifted off, she breathed in deeply, believing in her half-asleep state that she could smell Regulus on her pillow. It was a pleasant fantasy in her mind. If Remus had not barged into the living room back in London, she could have happily continued sleeping beside Regulus all day.
Regulus fell asleep on the sofa downstairs and was still asleep when Flora came down a little after lunchtime. Pod had been and gone, leaving two chicken sandwiches and a salad for them on the table. Flora eyed it as she came down, and glanced around the kitchen to make sure the elf definitely had gone. Once satisfied, she picked up the plates and brought them into the living room, setting Regulus' down on the coffee table while holding hers as she sat down in her favourite armchair. She tucked her legs up and looked over at Regulus. He didn't stir. Flora then noticed, with a little jump in her heart, that Pride and Prejudice had vanished from the coffee table.
She'd slept most of her hangover off, showered and washed, but wasn't dressed apart from changing into a very long, loose t-shirt she used as a nightie. The shirt had once belonged to Remus, which she resented slightly, but couldn't find anything else. It was comfortable.
She didn't want to wake Regulus, but also didn't want to sit in silence while she ate, so she switched on the television and put the volume low, but loud enough to hear. There was only one channel broadcasting daytime programmes, so Flora settled to watching The Adventures of Rupert Bear until the news would be on. Her gaze occasionally swept over Regulus, who was sleeping like an angel. His dark eye lashes were fanned out and he breathed softly, lost deep in his sleep.
She woke him by accident only a minute later when she set her empty plate down. It slipped in her hand and clattered loudly.
"Sorry," she cringed.
Regulus blinked sleepily and yawned. He closed his eyes for a moment, then rubbed his face and opened them again, fixing his attention on Flora.
"What time is it?" He asked in a gravelly voice.
Flora glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. "Five to one."
He sat up and stretched himself out. Outside it was beginning rain, which gave the stone-walled room a distinct, but not entirely unpleasant damp smell. The smell made Regulus feel a little nostalgic for Hogwarts, for the damp stones of the castle and for the smell of the wet earth on rainy Quidditch training days. Flora shivered a little and said to Regulus, "Can you get a fire going?"
He nodded and reached for his wand on the side, and a second later the fireplace was filled with a comfortable, warm blaze. He then picked up his sandwich and began to eat. Flora turned her attention back to the television.
"What are you watching?" Regulus frowned.
Flora's lips twitched a little and she looked at him, "Rupert. But I'm waiting for the news to come on."
Regulus said nothing and continued to eat. Flora glanced at him again after a moment and asked, "Did you go in my room while I was away?"
Regulus froze. When he first understood what she was asking, the rest of the sentence felt like he was hearing it much slower than she said it. He quickly sought to compose himself, continuing to eat like he was unaffected.
"No," he replied at once, his brow furrowing. "Why?"
"The bears on my bed looked like they'd been moved, and poor Bartholomew was on the floor."
"Well, I didn't go in your room," he said, avoiding her eye. He was somewhat relieved this was all she had noticed. "Maybe it was the house elf. Why would I go in your room?"
Flora frowned, sensing at once that he was trying to bury something, but she couldn't prove it. She shrugged and looked away, turning her attention back to the television.
A few minutes later the news came on, but there was nothing particularly interesting in the report; there had been a coach crash in France, two dead, and Margaret Thatcher was talking about spending cuts. Flora very quickly lost interest and yawned, stretching herself out across her armchair. "I'm still so sleepy," she said in a stifled voice.
"Mm," Regulus nodded. "Me too."
"Do you want anything else to eat?" She offered, rather hoping he would say no so she wouldn't have to get up.
"I'm fine," Regulus replied, fidgeting idly with the fringe on the sofa cushion and tracing his fingers over the velvet pattern. They both fell silent, both thinking about last night. Flora rested her chin on her knees, which she'd pulled up to her chest, and stared absently at the carpet. Regulus looked at her and wished suddenly that she was next to him so he could kiss her again. They remained on opposite sides of the room, but the distance between them made it feel like they were on opposite sides of the world. Both were too unsure to make the first move, to bring up what had happened.
"Do you—"
"Are you—"
They both spoke at exactly the same time and looked a little taken back for a split second. Flora laughed nervously, flushing and turning her gaze downward again. "You first."
"No, you spoke first," Regulus insisted, his heart pounding.
"No," she shook her head, still avoiding his eye. "You."
Regulus took a steady breath, gathering his thoughts. "Alright," he began, his voice steady, quiet. He looked at her lowered head, her downcast eyes. "Last night, I… we…." He struggled to find the right word, not knowing how to say it.
"We kissed," Flora said to help him along.
He swallowed thickly, grateful for her straightforwardness. "Yes."
"More than once."
"Yes," he said again. "We did."
Regulus shifted on the sofa, considering his next words carefully. "I just…I wondered whether, well," the words were tangled in his throat and his heart was doing somersaults. Flora lifted her eyes to meet his, waiting expectantly. "I wondered if your feelings are still the same as they were last night."
He said this quickly, running over the words clumsily. Flora was quiet for a long moment, then spoke softly, "My feelings?"
"Yes," he nodded. "If you, I mean, had any strong feelings about it…"
Flora considered for another moment, then said, "I'm not sure what my feelings are. I didn't feel confused last night, but that's how I feel right now."
"What are you confused about?" He asked, his heart sinking a little.
"I…I liked kissing you," she admitted, which brought Regulus immense relief to hear. "I liked it a lot. But you've been so unkind to me, and it's hard to forget that."
"I know I've been unkind," he was finding his footing now. He got up and moved to kneel down in front of her. Flora looked surprised by the sudden movement and recoiled for a split second, but then relaxed and settled her gaze on his.
"I know I've been insufferable," he went on, "And that I drove you away, and for that I'm sorry."
"Yes, and you have been a little better… but even so, I'm afraid that you will never truly see me as an equal," Flora said. "If we were together, hypothetically, would you want people to know I was yours? Or would you be embarrassed?"
This made Regulus pause. There was terrible truth to her words that rushed at him with unsheathed guilt. His affection for her was real, and he so desperately wanted to kiss her again and love her, but the fact she was a muggle never truly left the back of his mind. The thought of presenting her to his friends and anyone who knew him made him suddenly deeply uncomfortable. Only as long as she was his secret, he felt he could bear it.
Flora noted his pause and nodded to herself. "I thought so."
"No," he said quickly, grabbing her hands and sitting up straighter. "No, I wouldn't be embarrassed to call you mine."
He knew as the words left his mouth that they weren't entirely true, and it made his stomach twist with guilt and shame, but he couldn't let her slip away at such a crucial moment.
Flora's heart fluttered violently at the idea of being his but she maintained her composure. "You say that now, but it's not like I can demand you prove otherwise. You can't go anywhere."
His mind, unbidden, conjured up visions of his estranged parents' faces if they'd discovered he was so infatuated with a muggle. He could almost feel their fury. It would be worse than when Sirius was disowned for running away from the family.
Blood-traitor, disgrace, scum-lover, traitor, traitor, traitor.
He already was a traitor, but he wasn't sure which of his actions—betraying Voldemort or kissing a muggle—they would consider worse. All he'd done was kiss her, but that didn't diminish the matter, for he knew he wanted to do more than kiss her; he wanted her body and her mind, and he wished to share his with the same fervour. It scared him how much he wanted her. He just could not shake the feeling of it being a tragedy she was not a witch and could therefore not love her as his equal.
"I know I have much to work on," he began again, speaking carefully as he weighed his words. "But I…I'd really like to kiss you again. There's nothing so bad about kissing."
"It isn't just kissing though," Flora sighed. "I feel like we opened this door a long time ago when you wrote that letter."
Regulus went slightly pink at the memory of that letter. Flora continued before he could respond, "Did you mean what you wrote in that letter?" She demanded, finally finding the nerve to ask now they were speaking frankly.
Regulus' gaze dropped to the floor a moment, then returned to her face. "It was stupid, I—"
"Did you mean it?" She interrupted.
"I—yes," he admitted. "Yes, but it was crude and I didn't mean it to disrespect you… and—and I would never touch you if you didn't want me to."
Flora looked down at his hands clasping hers. Regulus followed her eyes, swallowed, and withdrew them. He felt resigned, beaten. Whatever had happened between them ended here, which was perhaps wise. He didn't expect Flora to speak, but he less expected what she said next.
"I do want you to…to touch me," she said in a soft, uncertain voice. "Just a little." Her words hung in the air between them, as if punctuating the stunned silence that had fallen over Regulus. She then took a breath and added, "I want you to kiss me again."
Regulus stared at her for a prolonged moment, unsure whether he'd heard her correctly or that she meant something else. But then Flora unbent her knees, put her feet down on the floor and drew closer to Regulus. With some trepidation, she bought her hands to his head and gently pushed her fingers through his dark hair. Regulus shifted his position and settled himself between her parted knees, where he also placed his hands. They were warm on her bare skin. He lowered his head to press soft, chaste kisses along her knees, causing Flora's breath to hitch in her throat.
Regulus felt a rush of excitement. He paused in his little trailing kisses to look at her, giving her a small, quirked smile from the corner of his mouth, and he moved his hands up to her hips. Flora rolled forward and slid down gently to sit on the floor, where Regulus pulled her onto his lap, her legs on either side of him, with his hands firmly anchoring her hips down against him. Flora clasped her arms around his neck like she'd seen actresses do in films and read in novels. They kissed, open-mouthed, heatedly.
"Is this alright?" Regulus murmured against her mouth.
"Mhmm," Flora breathed, connecting their mouths again.
Regulus' hand trailed up her back, resting in the centre, while his other hand moved down to her thigh. Her nightie had ridden up from the position she was currently in, bunched up around her hips, and Regulus just lightly touched the leg elastic of her underwear before drifting his fingers away again. He was aroused, and was sure Flora would notice due to the way she was currently pressed against him. They paused for breath and looked at one another. Regulus gently held the sides of her head and kissed her forehead, then her lips.
"You know," he said slowly, "I thought kissing a muggle would feel different from kissing a witch."
Flora snorted softly. "Different? We're the same species, Regulus."
"I know," he said quickly. "And actually, this is better."
"Is it?"
"I've only ever kissed witches before, and they weren't very good at it."
"I've never kissed anyone before," Flora said like it was a confession, though she knew it might be obvious.
"You should be kissed all the time," he murmured, leaning back in to catch her lips in his. Flora's breath caught in her throat. She kissed him back fiercely, her hands moving across his chest, up to his shoulders and the firm muscles of his arms.
"Would you still have come back if you hadn't argued with your brother?" Regulus asked.
Flora suddenly thought of Mark. She felt she had to speak to him, explain herself in some way. Now she was sober, it was more likely she would've stayed in London if she hadn't fallen out with Remus. She shrugged in response to Regulus' question. "I don't know. I was so annoyed with him, I just wanted to get away. It's more annoying that the only two places I can go are here or there."
"Where did you go that day you left the boundaries?" He lightly kissed her earlobe.
"Oh," Flora sighed softly, leaning into him. "Nowhere in particular. The woods."
"Why did you go so far though? And for so long?"
Regulus sat back slightly so he could look at her. Flora shrugged, glancing askance. "There's an old cottage ruin in that area of the woods. Just a shell of a building. I used to play there with Remus when I was little. I wanted to go there and think after what you told me about him and…and Sirius," she lifted her eyes to Regulus' eyes. "But something frightened me there. I heard a noise. I started to walk back, but I took a wrong turn and got a little lost. Then Sirius found me."
Regulus frowned slightly. "You could've been—"
"Don't start," Flora put her hand to his mouth. "I've heard it already."
Regulus smiled a little and pulled her hand away. He kissed her again gently. "Alright, I won't."
"Do you want to go for a walk before dinner?" Flora asked, resting her head on his shoulder. "Within the boundaries, of course."
Regulus rubbed small circles over her back and nodded. "Mmm," he hummed, "If you like."
"Whenever the house elf is supposed to arrive, can we go then?"
Regulus let out a small laugh through his nose. "You're really scared of house elves?"
"Terrified."
"Alright," he nodded. "By the way, what was that all about my condition?"
Flora grimaced. "Oh god. I'll tell you when we go for a walk. I don't feel like explaining things right now."
"You can tell me why you're scared of house elves as well."
"Fine," she agreed. She slid off his lap and pressed a small kiss to his lips before standing up. "I'm going to unpack my things and bring my record player back down. I got some new singles. I really like this goth band called The Cure lately."
They set off on their walk a little before five o'clock. It had stopped raining, though the sky was still dark grey, and a cold wind whipped at their faces as they walked side by side. It was not so cold as to be unpleasant though. It was bracing, refreshing, and pushed away the lethargic feeling they'd been battling all afternoon. Flora began to explain her dread of house elves.
"It's a simple story," she said, "When I was eight, I went with my mam to see Remus off to Hogwarts for his first year and I bumped into a house elf. It gave me the nastiest look and frightened me and I've been scared of them ever since."
Regulus blinked, his eyes widening just a little. "Kreacher?"
Flora looked at him and narrowed her eyes. "Are you calling me names again?"
"What? No," he rolled his eyes. "It's the name of my family's house elf. Kreacher. You might've bumped into Kreacher. He came with us the day Sirius started Hogwarts and there weren't many other house elves there."
Flora came to the realisation at the same time as Regulus. "We might've walked by each other," Flora said.
"Was there anyone with Kreacher?" He asked curiously.
Flora bit her lip, thinking. "There was, uh, what I remember… like a tall woman, I think. I remember her as like a big black bird because she had a black fur or feather stole around her neck, or a feather hat."
"That sounds exactly like my mother," Regulus said, half in disbelief. "She had a stole made of ostrich feathers. Hideous thing."
"I don't suppose you were there too?" Flora asked, her mind buzzing over the revelation that she may have crossed paths with Regulus many years before.
He nodded. "I would've been on the other side of her, probably. I was…" he smiled a little, looking suddenly shy and wistful, "I was crying."
Flora mirrored his gentle smile. "Why?"
"I didn't want Sirius to go," he said. "Weren't you sad when your brother left?"
"A little," she shrugged. "Not terribly. I was more upset that I would never get to go to Hogwarts. I really wanted to be a witch. I was thrilled when Remus let me have his old cauldron to play with one summer. I went into the garden and filled it with leaves and flowers and rocks, then poured water into it. He must've done something to it when I wasn't looking, because it was blue and sparkling the next time I looked."
Regulus smiled. Flora's vendetta with Remus had cooled somewhat as the day progressed and she didn't sound so bitter as she recalled this little anecdote involving him. He caught hold of her hand and held it in his as they walked.
"So tell me now what my condition is," he smirked.
"Chronic Disorientation Syndrome," Flora mumbled, looking down with embarrassment. "I don't know why I said it, or where it came from. I just needed something to explain why you were acting so weird."
His brow furrowed slightly. "I wasn't acting weird," he said a little indignantly.
"Oh, come off it. You were too afraid to get on the escalator."
"With good reason."
"And you didn't know how to use the ticket barrier."
"Well, of course I didn't," he huffed softly.
"So I told him you had this…this condition. And he didn't really believe me and thought it was a joke, and then it all backfired and…" she sighed heavily, trailing off.
When she looked at Regulus again, she was surprised to see him smirking. "It's not funny," Flora frowned.
"It is a bit funny," Regulus replied.
"He probably thinks I'm mental."
Regulus shrugged, privately pleased with this idea. "Oh well."
They walked the circuit of the woods and then returned to the cottage a little before six. The house elf had gone, but Sirius had arrived and was just about to tap on the door when he saw Flora and Regulus coming out the shadow of the woods with their hands clasped. The two quickly released their hands and stopped in their tracks, startled.
Sirius stepped away from the door and meandered over to them, a perplexed frown on his face. "I was just coming to see if Flora was okay," he said, eyeing his brother.
"I'm fine," Flora replied quickly.
"Remus didn't, uh, want to come in case you were still cross, but he says you're welcome to come back," Sirius continued, looking at her now.
Flora shook her head. "I'd rather stay here for a while."
Sirius nodded wordlessly, his eyes flickering between them curiously, unsure whether he'd really seen them holding hands just a moment ago. "Okay, well then," he straightened up. "Suppose I'll go home if everything is okay. Oh, and—" he quickly reached into his jacket pocket and procured a folded piece of paper, just like he'd done when he gave Regulus the note from Flora. "That boy in the shop asked me to give you this."
Flora felt something between a sickening lurch in her stomach and excitement as she looked at the paper in Sirius' outstretched hand. She took it but didn't open it, mumbling thanks to Sirius. She felt Regulus stiffen beside her. He didn't ask to see it even when they were alone again eating dinner, but his previous easiness felt stilted.
She didn't open it until she was alone in her room later that evening. Regulus was taking a shower, preparing for bed before Flora would monopolise the bathroom. It was a very short note with a phone number written in large, quick scrawl and the words:
Call me
— Mark.