"What's wrong with him?" asked Keqing. "He's been like that all day."

Aether curled up in a corner rocking back and forth. Eyes glazed with trauma; he stared like a dead man into the empty corner. Ayaka, Nilou, and Keqing peeked around the corner at their beloved.

"I tried asking him," said Nilou. "He just kept muttering 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' He's really shaken."

"Looks like he isn't the only one," said Ayaka.

She opened a door revealing several UHA members in a similar state. Xiangling wept like she was cutting up onions. Navia blew her nose on a handkerchief. Jean tenderly stroked Furina's back as the former Hydro Archon wept into the acting grandmaster's chest. Ei and Arlecchino stared out the window, tears welling in their eyes as the rain pelted the glass.

There were UBA members here too: Kazuha, Itto, Bennett, Xingqiu, Neuvillette, and Zhongli to name a few. They were all crying in their own ways. Kazuha threw back drink after drink, as though it would chase away the pain. Neuvillette drank a barrel of water to rehydrate himself after spending all his tears.

Wanderer gently held a sniffling Nahida, doing his best to wipe away her tears. Alhaitham's shoulders heaved up and down as he wrestled with his emotions. Itto used Ushi as a tissue, making trumpet sounds from his nose.

"What happened?" asked Ayaka.

They went through the Teapot until they finally found someone who could speak. Alloy practiced her archery outside. As they approached, she turned to wave.

"Pardon me," said Ayaka. "Do you know why everyone else is crying?"

Alloy shrugged.

"Well, do you know what happened before they were like this?"

"Sure. They went to that place."

"What place?"

"You know, that place they go every few weeks," said Alloy. "I've never been myself so I don't know its name."

"Can you tell us where it is?"

"Just off Musk Reef."

Alloy returned to her archery. The sword girls frowned. Musk Reef—that was where the Spiral Abyss lay. Perhaps, they'd faced a particular difficult challenge this time.

"Let's go take a look," said Keqing.

30 minutes later:

Cryo Cincin Mage and Katarina entered the mansion and found an odd sight.

Keqing and Ayaka held one another as they cried endless tears. Nilou sat on the floor all spent from crying herself to sleep.

"What happened here?" asked Katarina.

"Why?" croaked Ayaka, "Why would the Spiral Abyss do that?!"

"What? Did you have to fight the Wenut?"

"No."

"The golden wolf lord?"

"No."

"The Ruin Serpent?!"

"Even worse!"

"What?!"

Nilou looked up. In a completely monotone voice, she spoke.

"Baby Saurians."

Katarina and Cryo Cincin Mage joined the weeping session. Everyone cried for weeks until at last the Abyss reset. Then, they went back and did it again for sweet Primogems and spent another week crying in the mansion.

Traumatized, Article by Charlotte

Version 5.0 of the Spiral Abyss made us kill Baby Saurians. Why? Just why?

Due to the trauma inflicted by the wantless infanticide, the UHA and UBA filed a joint petition to Hoyoverse. Thanks to Vergil, from Devil May Cry, the company received our letter from across dimensions and agreed to implement changes in Version 5.1. Now, when we beat the Spiral Abyss' eleventh floor, we don't have to do the ninth floor again. Hopefully, no more Baby Saurians will suffer.

Everyone remains shell-shocked by the infanticide. Aether has spent the last few days hugging his Saurian companion while promising he'd never do such an awful thing again. Ei isolated herself in the Plain of Euthymia to spend an hour of Teyvat's time (which comes out to 500 years in the Plain) in mourning. Mirror Maiden could be heard saying, "Gods damn it! I never wanted to pull an Anakin-younglings scene! WTF, Hoyo?!"

Tighnari, one of the many distraught by this disaster, was shocked to learn that Xiangling was also grieving. On her date with Aether, Xiangling went looking for rare ingredients around the world and decimated Sumeru's wildlife in the process. He asked her why she was crying over the Saurians when she exterminated countless Fungi, Shroomboars, Rishboland Tigers, Spinocrocodiles, the Jadeplume Terrorshroom, the Electro Regisvine, Consecrated Fanged Beasts, Consecrated Flying Serpents, Consecrated Horned Crocodiles, Consecrated Red Vultures, Consecrated Scorpions, Ruin Drakes, Aranara, and Apep the Dendro Dragon.

She said, "Killing the Baby Saurians was much worse! I didn't get to eat them!"