"Do you even know where you're taking her?" Loke asked watching his friend grab a beer from the fridge.

"Nope." Natsu said absentmindedly.

It was a Friday evening in the loft, Loke was up doing a late night run and by the time he'd showered and changed into his casual wear, Natsu had arrived home from work. The man would usually do this sometimes if the pinkette worked two shifts back to back that ended at night, just so he could make sure his friend made it back safely and wasn't knocked out, somewhere black out drunk. It's happened before.

Tonight, when Natsu came home though, he had some news.

"Do you need a list of my sexiest date spots? I mean, it has been a while for you." Loke's face suddenly lit up. "Want me to stretch you out?"

"It's not a date Loke," Natsu sighed leaning over the counter. "Actually I'm not really sure what this is. She's uh... she's a little hard to read."

Flashback

"Wouldn't it be kinda funny, if like... we went out on a date? Like..."

"Do you want me to take you out?" Natsu asked the brighter pinkette beside him, cleaning shot glasses.

"I mean like... went out," she said with air quotations. "And like go for dinner, and the two of us would like... do stuff." She laughed putting in a bunch of air quotations.

"So... is that a yes?" Natsu tried again.

"I mean, I know right, like... that'd be so crazy..."

Natsu stopped talking and just stared at her in confusion.

"Sometimes she's so ironic... that I think she's being serious."

"Okay look," Loke said excitedly pushing away his plate of salad. "You haven't been out for a while and I have three date packages. They work every time."

He rolled up his sleeves and held up a cloth napkin. "Package A: Close up magic, dinner, drinks."

He did a trick with the napkin by folding it before making it disappear in his hands. Just then, Lucy walked in with a floral sundress on and a blue sweater, her hair in a high bun, and a pair of thick, black glasses resting on her face. She walked unnoticed to the coffee maker while stealing curious glances at the boys.

"Package B: Close up magic, drinks. Package C..." Loke brought back the napkin and started banging both his fists together, biting his lower lip and giving the pinkette a knowing look.

"Close up magic," he finished before flinging the napkin behind him.

"Wait Natsu... do you have a date?" Lucy asked, walking over with a growing smile. She nursed a hot mug of coffee in her hands. "Fun! I wanna talk to you guys about this stuff, I wanna feel included."

"It's with Cosmos," Loke said to her.

"Loke," Natsu uttered.

"Wha- Cosmos? Like who works at the bar? Natsu! Why didn't you tell me? And she's a looker too," Lucy placed one finger on her hips before quickly removing it as if she had been burned. She started shaking her fingers to cool off from the imaginary burn.

"Hot like a tamale!"

"I don't need you to tell me how hot she is Luce."

"Oh come on Dragneel," she said, waving off his comment. "Have you even been out with anyone since Lisanna?"

"Nope."

"Well this must be a pretty big deal for you, right buddy?" She playfully punched his upper arm and Natsu looked at that spot as if it had been infected.

"Woohoo!" She continued. "Big deal alert..."

"This is why..." Natsu continued.

"This is why, what?" She asked innocently.

"Natsu listen," Loke said, ignoring both of their remarks. "You're gonna be great tonight. Just... just suck in your gut."

The pinkette gasped lightly and quickly looked at his stomach before looking back at his best friend. "Wh-what stomach?"

"Your beer gut," the other man responded.

Lucy pointed at his mid-section.

"The little pouch you keep all your extra cookies in."

Natsu made a face at the two of them before retreating to his bedroom.

Naked

Natsu's Room

Natsu took a long look at himself in the mirror. He considered himself a rather attractive man. He had nice facial features and a nicely shaped jaw. Sure his hair color was wacky, which used to be a source of anger and insecurity for him, but he's gotten used to it and even grew to like it. He flexed his biceps admiring the beefiness of his arms to boost his self esteem. Finally, he decided to take off his shirt. His pectorals were both nicely formed and his chest was chiseled.

He looked at his stomach.

I don't have a beer gut... he thought to himself.

His stomach had a bit of a pudge that's for sure, and his chest looked a bit soft, but certainly he didn't look fat.

Still... Lucy and Loke's words bothered him.

He walked over to his stereo and turned it on, letting the reggae hit Zungguzungguguzungguzeng pour through the speakers. He started jiving with the heavily accented singing of the Jamaican artist.

Zungguzungguguzungguzeng

Zungguzungguguzungguzeng

Seh if yuh have a paper, yuh must have a pen

And if yuh have a start, yuh must have a end

Seh five plus five, it equal to ten

And if yuh have goat, yuh put dem in a pen

And if yuh have a rooster, yuh must have a hen, now

Zungguzungguguzungguzeng

Zungguzungguguzungguzeng

Inside Gajeel's room

"So how'd the job interview go?" Loke asked, plopping down on one of Gajeel's beanbag chairs.

The ex-football player sighed as he lay on his bed, playing with a basketball.

"Oh you know, terrible."

Flashback

Gajeel sat in the leather armchair in his suit and tie, with his hair slicked back into a low bun watching the woman across from him. She studied his resume with squinted eyes and narrow reading glasses.

Suddenly, she put her glasses down and looked at him.

"Did you see the J-wow retweet of the Gaga twit-pic?"

Gajeel looked at her as if she was speaking in another language.

"I know Word," he started to panic as he pointed at his resume. His voice started shaking. "And I can open a document... Save... Save As... Print... print preview-"

"It was awful," Gajeel finished, volleying the basketball between both his hands. "All she wanted to do was chit chat about a bunch of topics I knew nothing about."

He sat up and tossed the ball to Loke.

"Well you gotta get up to speed man," Loke said. "The chit chat portion is the interview."

"I have spent the last two years of my life in Hargeon. I've been playing ball year round man. I don't know anything else."

Loke dribbled the ball a few times on the floor while Gajeel was talking before passing it back to him.

"I've got a bunch of interviews tomorrow," Gajeel continued. "So fill me in."

Loke's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "Over everything that's happened over the last two years?"

"Yup."

"Well okay then..." he started. "So the economy's broke..."

Gajeel nodded.

"...the polar ice caps are melting..."

Gajeel nodded again.

Loke's face suddenly lit up. "Oh! Betty White's back!"

"Oh cool. What about the rest of the Golden Girls?"

Loke stared at the man blankly then blinked after a minute. "They're all dead man."

"Ooohhh..."

Lucy sat upright on her bed, her lamp being the only illumination in the room as she fingered through a stack of papers.

"Zungguzungguguzungguzeng

Zungguzungguguzungguzeng..."

Lucy groaned in frustration before slamming her papers on on the bed and getting up to go to Natsu's room.

"Look Natsu, while I can appreciate a little Yellowman late at night, I have to- ACK!"

She turned the knob to his bedroom door, opening it to reveal a butt naked Natsu grooving out to Jamaican music while checking out his body in the mirror. His face contorted into one of absolute horror when he saw her.

Her eyes bulged out of its sockets, her brain having trouble registering everything at once. Her eyes slowly gravitated downwards and once her eyes landed on his sacred unmentionables she shouted and let out an "ack" before quickly closing the door.

Gajeel and Loke sat in the living room, the former juggling the screens of two laptops on the coffee table in front of him with two different headphones sitting on his head, on his ears and around his shoulders.

"Look at you... you're like an animal," Loke smiled impressed.

"I'm trying to catch up on all the pop culture stuff I missed during the two years I was in Hargeon. Right now I'm watching 'Precious' and 'In the Heights' and I'm trying to find out the details of Amber Heard and Johnny Depp's divorce. Later, I'm going to watch the ending of 'Game of Thrones' cause apparently the ending was atrocious and finally 'The Avengers' movies."

"Wait, which ones?"

"All of them."

The conversation ended on that note as Loke tried calculating in his head how long it would take Gajeel to watch all the Marvel movies when Lucy appeared in the living room. Her face was flushed, eyes wide and her chest rising and falling with deep breaths.

"Uh, Loke?"

Loke looked at her expression with concern. He fixed his body to turn to her.

She opened her mouth to say something but she found herself at a loss for words. Her face growing redder at the thought of having to explain herself. She moved her hands aimlessly and started and stopped any forthcoming explanation, like a child who knew she was in trouble for doing something wrong. Loke grew impatient.

"Well?"

Lucy took a dry gulp.

"I just saw Natsu naked."

Loke's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"What did she just say?" Gajeel moved the headphones from his ears narrowing his eyes at Loke.

"It was an accident! I swear!" She quickly waved her hands around to dispel any unsavory thoughts about her in her friends' minds. "I didn't think he would be in there without clothes on! I just wanted him to turn down the music!"

Gajeel's eyes widened. Loke groaned, slowly putting his face in his hands.

"Wait, wait, wait! It's not bad I promise! I promise I'm not freaked out by it at all! Ain't no thing. Ain't no thaaaang!"

She did a little dance to further prove her point.

"Ain't no thang but a chicken wang."

Just then, Natsu emerged from his room, black jeans and red hoodie on, with the drawstrings pulled to it's maximum showing only his nose and mouth. They all turned to look at him as he hurried through the living room. Lucy rushed in front of him as Natsu tried to weave his way around her. They ended up going side to side.

"Hey! So... that was weird huh?"

Natsu peaked his eyes out to glare at her as he grabbed his keys. "I'm rushing out the door Luce."

"Before you go Nat... I think we should talk about... it."

"Talk about what?"

Lucy's face gradually started going redder as her face crumpled in embarrassment. Natsu continued to stare at her coldly.

"The fact that I saw your...you know."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Your little Natsu... your baloney pony... your boinga-boinga... your birdie... your pecker..."

Loke physically cringed from his seat. Gajeel pinched the bridge of his nose.

Lucy kept going.

"...your anaconda... your Johnson... your schlong-"

"You're blocking the door." Natsu's voice icily cut her off.

"Okay... enjoy your date," she said in defeat. She stepped aside, allowing Natsu to sidestep her and get through the door. He gave her one last look before he turned the doorknob.

"Make sure that guy behaves," she laughed awkwardly, while pointing downwards at his pants and covering the side of her mouth as if it had ears.

"Excuse me Lucy," he pushed her aside as he strode out the door.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Lucy covered her face and groaned in frustration as she scampered back to the couch. Gajeel had both pairs of headphones wrapped around his neck while Loke looked at her with widened eyes.

"Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Lucy's ears started to turn red due to how flushed her face was.

"Okay, that was... so... HORRIBLE!" Loke cried.

"Guys, what am I supposed to do?" Lucy started to panic. "Natsu's never gonna speak to me again!" She started pounded the side of her head. "I'm so embarrassed," she whimpered.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Gajeel said absentmindedly. His headphones were back on and he was scavenging through the browsers of both laptops. "I've seen Natsu's stuff like, a million times."

"You have?" Loke spread his arms in surprise. "I mean... how?"

"We grew up together. Locker rooms, swimming pools, penis fights... it happens."

Lucy immediately stopped berating herself to cock her head in confusion.

"Well, why haven't I seen it?" the marketing executive asked.

"Why do you want to see it?" Gajeel tore his eyes away from his laptops for the second time to look at Loke with disgust.

"He's one of my best friends."

Gajeel blinked.

"Again... why do you want to see it?"

"What if Natsu gets in an accident?!" Loke started. "What if he's horribly disfigured, and I have to identify him, and all that remains are his private parts?! And I'm standing there and I'm saying, 'Sorry, Officer, I can't help you, because no, I haven't seen his penis.' ...and then 'boom' he's buried in an unmarked grave."

Lucy started looking around the room thoroughly unnerved. Suddenly, her little incident with Natsu wasn't looking so bad. Gajeel's pierced eyebrows turned upwards. He clapped his hands together and put it against his lips as he looked at Loke as if he was a Rubik's cube, except if the Rubik's cube was created by aliens and it wasn't a Rubik's cube at all just a block that was tiled by a colorblind stoner.

"Again, why do you want to see it?"

"What did it look like?" Loke swiftly turned to Lucy.

"Wha-what do you mean?"

Loke stretched his fingers straight out and aligned them only leaving a small space between his palms before he started separating them.

"Just say when." He looked the teacher dead in the eye.

"When what?"

Loke's hands were now shoulder length now and he continued to spread them. "Just... Serious... Seriously?" The space between his palms getting bigger. "Are you se... Are you serious?" He had stretched his hands out until he had reached the full width of his arms.

"Okay, you know what. This is impossible. I'm starting over." He had a slightly embarrassed expression on his face. Lucy blinked at him in confusion.

"Loke get serious! I need your help!"

"Okay... All right Lucy, fine. What happened after you walked in on him?"

"I kind of... shrieked in horror..."

"Lucy! You can't 'shriek' at a naked man, especially Natsu. Natsu's delicate. Like a flower. A chubby damaged flower who hates himself."

"Why would you say that?"

Loke sighed.

"Look, when I met Natsu in college, he was the most ripped 19-year-old I had ever seen in my life. He used to box collegiately for a while and his dad was his trainer, and when I tell you that man had him in shape, I mean Natsu woke up before dawn just to get ready for Igneel in the gym. Anyway, something happened and he quit boxing, then he started drinking a lot and going out to parties, got into that toxic off-and-on again relationship with Lisanna, and he's never been the same since."

"Wait... why did he stop boxing?"

Loke come up short for words so he looked to Gajeel for a lifeline, and his roommate gave him a knowing look in between his movie watching and researching.

"Well, that's not my story to tell, but the point is, this is sort of a sore spot for him Luce."

Lucy looked down remorsefully.

"Now listen to me. You are going to act as if none of this, ever happened."

"Well that's gonna be kinda hard considering I'm gonna have to see him in the showers everyday. Newsflash Loke: we live together! And besides that we're a family." Her voice, as well as her face softened. "Family's talk about things."

"Oh God no! No Lucy! Families don't talk about things! Families ignore things until the problem goes away!"

Flashback

"Hey Aquarius, look I'm a bunny!"

She side eyed the young blonde in his bunny costume and went back to texting her phone.

"Aquarius! Aquarius?"

"Aquarius!"

"Aquarius!"

"Aquarius!"

"Aquarius!"

"Sis!"

"Sis!"

"Sis!"

"Sis!"

Loke trembled at the memory.

"Okay fine I won't talk about it. I won't talk about the fact that I saw him in his birthday suit... his birthday suit," she sang.

He glared at her.

"Okay I'm done."

On the Date

Natsu and his coworker ended the night in each other's arms, sharing drunk butterfly kisses with each other and giggling.

"Welcome to my chambre," Cosmos said, turning on the lights to the dark apartment.

"I don't really know what that means..."

The racoon-eyed woman silenced him with another sloppy kiss, this time with liberal tongue.

"You're a goooooooood kisser, haha," she blanched as she gave him the compliment, leaving Natsu confused as to whether she meant it or not.

"Can we be serious...? You know, for once?"

"I'm gonna get serious, all over your face," and she laughed at her own joke while Natsu laughed along awkwardly.

She continued her laughing as she crouched down on her ankles and started undoing the buckle of his belt. Natsu swiftly raised her back up by her arms to eye level.

"You know, maybe we shouldn't be laughing when we're trying to undress each other, yeah?"

Cosmos reached her arm behind him to swing her apartment door shut, and once the door was closed, she turned to him in all seriousness. "Take off your clothes."

She grabbed the hems of his shirt to try and raise it up, but Natsu awkwardly wrangled with her arms in order to keep her from basically ripping it off. They went back and forth like this for a few seconds before Natsu relented and wrapped his arms around her trapping her in a firm hug.

He sighed. He knew he was ruining the mood big time but he just couldn't stop himself.

Cosmos wiggled her way out of Natsu's embrace.

"Okay, I'll go first," she said with a smile, and yanked off her shirt without any hesitation leaving Natsu to gawk at her braless top half.

Cosmos was a fairly new bartender at Fairy Tail, being that she just started a few weeks ago and that she was in between jobs, but she had very refined tastes when it came to alcohol which Makarov really liked. From the moment Natsu laid eyes on her he felt as if she was hiding something. Her eyes held mystery in them that he would never know even when they were talking and Natsu got her to open up to him. He always wanted to know what secrets lied behind those eyes. What mysteries did she keep hidden away from others? What stories did she keep between that cool demeanor and professional smile? Natsu always wondered.

Cosmos had bright pink hair, small emerald green eyes and pale skin. She was slim and petite, so not only was she about a foot shorter than him, her body had small curves too (not that Natsu was too particular about that sort of thing).

Now, standing before him topless, eager to get him to make wild, erotic love to her, Natsu froze up like a deer in the headlights. This wasn't like him. He normally had no problem getting a woman out of her clothes, and even less problems making it worth it for her in the bedroom, but for some reason he wanted nothing more than to get out of there.

Loke was right. He had been with one woman for so long that he must've forgotten how hook-ups were supposed to work.

Cosmos watched his reaction carefully.

"Hey... did you want to... take it slow or something?"

Natsu was too embarrassed to say anything and instead started to stutter something but no straight answer came out.

Before long, Cosmos was fully clothed again and the two were lying side by side each other on her bed 'cuddling'. Natsu sighed in defeat. Cosmos stared at the ceiling awkwardly.

The next morning

"Oh and that looks like a triple rainbow folks..." said the reporter through Gajeel's headphones. The half Polynesian man sat upright on his couch in total concentration on his two laptops, not having moved from his spot for one second all night.

Natsu walked in through the door with his red sweater on and keys in hand. He walked over to the kitchen where Lucy was sitting promptly eating breakfast and dressed like she was going to school.

"Morning Natsu!"

He opened up the cupboards and grabbed a cup and a plate, not saying a word.

"So I guess your date went well huh? You know, the big sleepover."

He rested his dishes on the counter, giving her a dirty look before going to the fridge.

"So I brought something home from work that reminded me of you," she rested her black tote bag on the counter and started scrounging through it before pulling out a short wooden stick covered in feathers and beads.

"It's a feeling stick," she declared. "Whoever's holding the feeling stick has permission to say whatever he or she is feeling without being judged."

Natsu leaned against the counter across from her with arms folded and cup of orange juice in hand, staring at her disinterestedly, almost as if he was looking straight through her. Lucy was faltering faster by the second. It made her chest tight to see him look at her so coldly.

"Ummm, I'll go first," she clutched onto the feeling stick with both hands hoping it would give her courage before she continued. "I'm feeling... like I wanna know what you're feeling..." she finished sincerely before passing him the feeling stick.

He stepped forward, taking the stick from her hands and breaking it in half. Lucy stared at him in horror as he dropped the two halves in front of her with the same disinterested glint in his eye.

There was silence between the two of them as they engaged in their tense stare off.

Lucy took a breath.

"Well... y'know... believe it or not... that's actually not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick," she rummaged in her purse again until she struck upon something and pulled it out.

"I keep a travel size," she said as she offered him the mini feeling stick.

"No..." he said suddenly and started speed walking towards the front door.

"Natsu! Natsu wait!" she called as she got off of her stool and chased him. When she got outside, she met Natsu rapidly pressing the elevator button and when he realized she was here already, he looked at her in horror.

"Natsu!"

Luckily for him, the elevator opened up in the nick of time and he quickly got inside, however unluckily for him, it didn't close fast enough and Lucy slipped inside too.

"What are you doing?" he asked irately.

"Natsu, we have to talk about this okay?"

"What is there for us to talk about?!" he snapped. "The fact that you don't respect anybody's boundaries but your own?! The fact that apparently your old roommates never required you to knock before you entered a room?!"

Lucy felt a pang of guilt shoot through her chest at his words. She knew he was right though.

"Look, I'm sorry that I didn't knock and invaded your privacy and saw you that way without your permission," she said genuinely. "But Natsu it happened already, and we have to talk about it if we want to move past this."

Natsu shook his head, turning away from her. This elevator had never moved so slowly in all his years living there.

"Look, I didn't mean to scream like that when I saw you naked-"

"Then why did you?" he looked right at her when he asked the question. "Is there something... wrong with-"

"Oh God no! No Natsu, no, no, no, no, no, no!" she cried, frantically waving her hands. "Your body is beautiful! Stately. I think any girl you'd take home would agree with me when I say it's a real treat."

He started laughing from second hand embarrassment. "Oh my God..."

Just then, the elevator stopped and another man with a suit and briefcase got inside.

Lucy leaned forward and whispered loudly to her friend... unfortunately it was still loud enough for the third in the elevator to hear.

"I also think it's great that you dance naked to Jamaican music! You should totally embrace all the different ways you feel sexiest since-"

She was cut short when Natsu slammed a hand over her mouth and shoved her back into the elevator wall. He had one arm wrapped around the small of her back so it was his arm taking the brunt of the pain when he pushed her.

"Lucy! That's never supposed to leave the apartment!" He whispered heatedly. His cheeks were blazing crimson and he kept stealing glances at the man in the elevator hoping he wasn't listening to what the blonde had to say. He went from dying from second hand embarrassment, to straight up dying from embarrassment.

The poor man started to blush a little looking and listening to the two from his peripheral vision. He felt like this was a conversation couples should be having in private.

Thankfully, his stop arrived and he quickly got off the elevator. Natsu followed suit, with hoodie over head, leaving Lucy to scurry after him again.

"Wait for me!"

When Lucy made her way down the corner Natsu disappeared to, she didn't see him anywhere. She looked around for a second in confusion. She heard the elevator ring and she turned around to see her roommate back on the elevator with the door closing quickly in front of him. She ran over, but this time she couldn't make it on.

On the elevator alone, Natsu let out a deep sigh of relief. When he saw the elevator stop after only moving up one floor, he sighed in exasperation.

The doors opened up to reveal a panting school teacher with her hands on her knees.

"Natsu, please... please talk to me," she pleaded in between breaths.

"Lucy there's nothing to talk about," he said as she stepped inside and the doors closed behind her. "You ruined my date! Every time I tried to take my clothes off Lucille, all I could hear was your stupid, giggle screech! And all I want... is to have meaningless sex with a beautiful woman who yes, talks in mind bending riddles... But I can't. And do you want to know why? Because I can't get your little 'ACK!' out of my head!"

And with that, the elevator rang and Natsu walked out on their floor, leaving a guilt-stricken blonde standing there.

She suddenly ran out before the doors closed her inside and followed him to their loft, stopping before she reached inside.

"I'm sorry that your date didn't go so well Natsu, and I'm sorry for any part I might have played in that but you will not just dump all of the blame on me!"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Natsu said quietly as he headed for the kitchen.

"You ever thought that maybe you couldn't go through with it because you just didn't want to?! Maybe 'meaningless sex' just isn't your style, and it took bombing your date to realize that!"

Natsu scoffed which bordered on outright laughing as he tried to spread his bagel.

"Oh please," he started. "I'm a fully grown, heterosexual man with a working penis... of course it's my style."

Lucy recoiled at his dismissiveness and stalked over to him. "Oh, so you're proud to say that?!"

"I thought I told you to drop it Lucy... but frankly... that's the truth. Don't get mad at me. I don't make the rules."

"Now see, I just don't believe that..."

"Oh come on Heartfilia..."

Suddenly they were talking over one another, their voices escalating gradually. Finally reaching his breaking point, Gajeel finally tore his eyes away from his laptop to glare at them and took off his headphones.

"God, would you two SHUT UP?!"

He put his headphones back on effectively enjoying the silence.

"What really gets me about you is the fact that you want to have this 'mature conversation' about what happened but you couldn't even say that you saw my penis without acting all weird like those sixth graders that you teach." Natsu whispered, grabbing his bagel slices and orange juice before he walked away.

"But somehow, I'm the immature one?"

In the Bathroom

Natsu walked into the bathroom and headed straight for the urinal. All that orange juice went right through him. As he unzipped his pants, unbeknownst to him, Loke peaked his head from above the shower stall wall. He looked pointedly towards the other man's groin as Natsu fiddled with his pants buttons.

"Hey man."

Natsu jumped. "Aagh!"

"I'm the only one who hasn't seen it," Loke said plainly. He gave him a look that said 'I've earned the right to be here'.

Natsu recoiled. "What?"

"Just the gun," Loke said.

Natsu paused. "No."

"Just the roses."

Natsu made a face.

"Just the hub... where it connects."

"Get out."

"Fine!" Loke snapped. "I thought you considered me one of your best friends man... and after everything we've been through together..."

Natsu scratched the back of his head. "I mean, sure I guess..."

"Well apparently not!"

"Even the best of friends don't do this man!" Natsu called out to his disappearing figure.

"They do it all the time!" Came Loke's retreating voice.

"You did what?" Cana gasped.

The set of the model's photoshoot was windy and full of all sorts of different moving people. Models, cameramen, lighting crew, set designers and make-up artists. Lucy's best friend was sitting by her own vanity with large metal rollers in her hair and a silver bathrobe which protected whatever outfit Cana adorned underneath (or lack thereof). She was applying blue eyeshadow with her foundation seemingly on already.

"Sweet little Lucy did a bad thing?" Cana turned to her with a playful smile. "So was it big?"

"Cana!"

"Alright, alright," she said disappointedly as she turned back to her vanity to tend to her eyeshadow. "So what's the problem?"

"I made a sound..."

Cana raised an eyebrow. "You did your weird giggle shriek thing you always do when you freak out, didn't you?"

Lucy's jaw dropped. "I do not do a giggle shriek thing!"

Cana found Lucy's eyes through the mirror and raised an eyebrow.

Flashback

"Will that be with or without sausage?" asked the middle school lunch monitor.

She held up a long red sausage with thongs, awaiting the blonde's response.

"Ack!" she giggled.

"It wasn't my fault!" she said, trying not to turn red. "He should've locked the door!"

"You should've knocked."

Lucy sighed. "He's never going to want to be my friend again. I ruined everything..."

"Nah," Cana said plainly. "Guys are simple. If he's mad that you saw him naked, then I say flash him back." There was a mischievous glint in her eyes as she tried to blend the blue on her eyelids with a glittery, translucent green. Lucy's eyebrows shot up.

"That's a terrible idea!"

"Well you make it look like an accident, of course. Once he's seen your goods, you act all offended and embarrassed like you tend to do, and then afterwards tell him that you're even now so he can't be mad at you anymore. If all that doesn't work, threaten him with telling me about it, and that I'll probably come over and maim him for defiling your innocence or something."

Lucy let the idea soak in her brain for a second.

"You know, that actually makes sense..."

"See? I can come up with good ideas too. Now leave, I have to finish blending my eyeshadow," she said, waving her makeup brush to dismiss her friend. "Y antes de que esa perra maquilladora regrese," she murmured under her breath.

[And before that bitch of a makeup artist comes back.]

"Hey Gajeel, I need a favor," Loke said striding into his room. "Can you-"

He stopped himself short when he saw Gajeel laying stretched out on the floor in his suit and tie, staring soulless into his laptop.

"Oh no," he said rushing over to him. "The interview," he realized. "Did it not go well?"

Gajeel sighed. He pushed his chest off the floor and sat upright. "No. It went well. I crushed it actually. I was crushing it so much to the point where my soul flew out of my body and looked down as it watched me crush it."

"And that's a good thing right?"

The brown eyed man turned to Loke. "At some point during the interview the woman asked me 'why do you want to sell medical supplies?' And I had no answer. I need you to understand Loke, I've been playing football for my entire life."

Loke watched the man with empathy and then found his way to his laptop to see Gajeel's opened resume. He read it aloud.

"'Gajeel Redfox is a Fiorian football player who played professionally in Hargeon, and he loves... ducks...' Gajeel, did you write the part about the ducks?"

"I don't even like ducks that much."

"Oookay," Loke closed the laptop and turned to him. "Look man, you gotta stay off of Wikipedia, you're going crazy."

"I was the guy who was good enough to go play overseas! I was the guy everyone in the family could be proud of, the guy everyone could brag on. But now...? I don't know man, I just lost it."

Loke sat back and listened to his friend explain his plight empathetically.

"They just... found another black guy. 'Labaku melno virieti.'" Gajeel shook his head in dismay. "Means 'the better black guy'."

Loke seemed offended.

"Wha- A better melnos? But you're the...you're the best 'melnais'!"

"I don't know Loke... I just don't know what comes next."

"You know what you do next? Come on. Get up. You're gonna get up," he commanded, getting on his feet and hoisting the man up by his hands to do the same.

"We're gonna get you out of the house, we're going to get you moving and it's gonna feel good!" he said, patting Gajeel on the arm.

"Whooooo hoooooooo!" Gajeel shouted. "You're right this does feel good!"

He and the honey blonde jogged side by side, both in shorts and t-shirts. Gajeel adorned his 'Team Fiore' paraphernalia while Loke had on wristbands, headbands and leg warmers for good measure. They were taking a lap around the perimeter of a nearby park allowing for Gajeel to get some fresh air and sunlight. Loke's running posture was becoming sloppy and stunted while Gajeel's was perfect, pumping his arms and legs in tangent while gliding along the trail.

"Totally," Loke panted. "I love it," he finished dryly.

"You know, I think I was scared man," Gajeel said opening up. "I've been playing football my whole entire life. What if I was wasting my time? Maybe I should've been figuring my life out like you."

Loke managed a strained laugh. "I don't have anything figured out," he said breathily. "I'm a fully-grown man with roommates. I have a stupid job. I'm single." He panted a little more before he continued. "My best friend won't even let me see his penis. I mean honestly," he offered a breathy chuckle. "My whole life is a sham!"

With that, Loke stopped running, grabbing onto his right thigh with a pained expression. Gajeel continued his running momentum.

"Aah!" Loke cried as he hunched over with both hands on his thighs.

"Wow." Gajeel stated in disbelief. "I actually feel a lot better. Thanks Celeste."

"Gajeel! My legs!" Loke cried.

His roommate finally stopped running when he realized that Loke wasn't just lagging behind due to exhaustion. "Celeste?"

"My legs are seizing up..." he panted. "I hate my life. I hate my..." Loke said between panting.

"Loke!" Gajeel turned around and sprinted back to his friend who was now on the sidewalk pavement on all fours.

"Making new discoveries," he offered breathily when Gajeel boomeranged back to him. "I'm a fear-based person, apparently."

Gajeel crouched over to inspect exactly what was wrong with him. He was no expert, but he's had some experience dealing with sports-related injuries and conditions. He and his teammates would pull or tear a new muscle almost everyday back in Hargeon.

"Stop it," Loke panted. "Just go... I need a... Give me a hug, please. 911..."

Gajeel swiped his hand on the concrete picking up a little dirt and quickly rubbed his hands together before firmly slamming his open palms on the backs of Loke's shoulders. He applied pressure on his back, firmly, but not enough to cause more injury.

"Ow," Loke complained nasally. "Ow..."

That day at the Bar

Natsu had on his gray sweater with his hoodie covering his face as he wiped the counter in shame. After last night's debacle, the last thing he wanted to do was talk about it the next day at work, but her shift was scheduled to start right in the middle of his and they had to work together, so he was bound to run into her any minute now.

The cons of trying to date your coworkers.

Natsu sighed. Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Cosmos was headed to the counter now, a tray in hand full of empty glasses with ice and straws left behind. She smiled at him awkwardly and he took his hoodie off.

"Cosmos hey," he started. "I'm really sorry about last night."

"So you're... You're like, super into 'cuddling'." She said with air quotations.

"No. I am not super into cuddling," Natsu answered with a half smile. "I'm just getting out of a serious relationship and I think I just got nervous."

Cosmo's expression changed as she tried to let his words marinate. Natsu sighed and he glanced at the counter before looking back to her.

"And... I've kinda heard recently that I'm not the greatest at talking about what I'm feeling... and so I'm sorry about last night."

Her lips drew upwards in a smile. "Honesty. I really like that in a guy."

Natsu's Room

Standing in front of the pinkette's full body mirror stood Lucy in nothing but her tiny, pink bathrobe with her wet hair slicked backwards from her face. She undid the tie and opened the flaps of the robe to truly analyze her figure. She turned to the side and propped her breasts in her arms. She had a nice figure, she'd say. For most of her life she hated her body. She was a late bloomer so in middle school and the start of high school, people used to tease her by calling her a toothpick or a skeleton, or a 'scrawny, little thing'. Then, when her curves started to come in the 10th grade, she felt better about herself but she noticed even with curves she wasn't enough to attract the kind of male attention she wanted. The kind that Cana always got effortlessly. She resigned herself to just being the nerdier, less sexy friend for years until college, when she fully blossomed into her body. Fuller boobs, wider hips and thanks to her many years in dance as a child and adolescence she had a nice, round butt.

Cana liked to tease her and remind about how hot she was all the time. That male attention she thought she wasn't pretty enough to receive, well she got more than her fair share of it in college and graduate school. Lucy suddenly got multiple admirers and she honestly was so confused as to why that was. It could've been her body. It could've been that she finally took her braces off and her teeth were perfect. Her hair grew longer and she switched to contacts so it could've been that too. Regardless, all she remembered was that she was considered unattractive all her life until suddenly a switch was flipped and then she was hot.

Looking at her body at 27-years, her thighs were as thick as ever with the inner thighs rubbing against one another, there was a small pudge on her stomach which she liked to call her muffin top, and her arms were looking a little big and not as toned as she liked them.

Sure, she wasn't satisfied with the way her body was at the moment, but she accepted herself the way she was now and was also going to start working out again to get back in shape. Her eyes lit up. Maybe that's what she should tell Natsu! Embrace your body no matter what imperfections you may think you it has, and if you want, work towards changing it so that you can feel more confident. That sounded good.

Lucy would be lying if she said that she wasn't going to miss saying she had a 'muffin-top'. Not necessarily because of the actual thing, but because the name 'muffin-top' was just so cute to say.

Lucy's head whipped around at the sound of the loft door opening and she instinctively wrapped herself up. She hopped on the bed. She went over the plan in her head.

'I'm sorry Natsu, I thought this was my room. I'll be leaving now and... whoops!'

As the sound of footsteps drew nigh, Lucy also heard the sound of voices. Two voices.

"This is a really nice place you've got here," came the female voice.

"I'm glad you like it Cosmos."

Lucy's sirens immediately went off. 'Natsu's date is here! Crap! And seeing me lying on his bed with a bathrobe will not help him at all!'

She quickly scrambled for an easy hiding place - under the bed.

The door swung open and Natsu and Cosmos stumbled in, their hands were all over each other as Natsu blindly guided them to the bed. The two collapsed on his mattress causing it to bounce and for Lucy to fear getting mushed to death underneath. His hands invaded underneath her shirt and roughly gripped at and massaged her thighs as the two panted and shared sloppy kisses. Firmly, Cosmos pushed him off of her and flung her shirt off over her head, revealing a pink, lacy bra underneath this time. Natsu flung his shirt off too, and Cosmos' hands found their way to his belt buckle.

Meanwhile Lucy felt as if she was going to die. 'I knew I should've listened to myself the first time! This was a terrible idea!'

Stranded and with no external means of help in sight, Lucy wormed her way from underneath the bed and tried to discreetly crawl her way out of the door.

With the buckle undone and his fly and buttons loosened, Cosmos yanked Natsu's jeans down until they were around his ankles. He bent over to simultaneously take off his socks and throw away his jeans from his ankles when he came face to face with Lucy.

She gasped.

Time stopped for him.

He almost had a heart attack.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He screeched in pure, unadulterated horror.

Cosmos jumped and screamed too at his sudden outburst and also when she caught sight of Lucy. "Aagh! Wha- Who is that?!"

Lucy jumped up. Face completely red with embarrassment. She ran like hell for the door. She was screaming, Cosmos was screaming, everybody was screaming. Before she exited though, she turned around to apologize. She couldn't just leave like that, it would be bad manners.

"I am so sorry for the interruption!" she said taking big breaths. "But my name is Lucy, and welcome to our home!" She finished trying to sound as gracious as possible.

Natsu and Cosmos were mute as mice as they were both staring at her with delightfully surprised expressions. Well not exactly staring at her, they were looking a little downwards. When Lucy looked south, she gasped in holy terror.

Fuck.

She forgot to tie the robe back up before they came in. She swiftly wrapped the robe over her body again, covering her sacred unmentionables, before turning into an actual tomato and scurrying out.

"This loft has rules... Rules that are meant to be followed! We knock before we open doors, and we don't enter into somebody's room without their permission!"

Natsu ranted and paced the living room in an angry flurry as his roommates all sat on the couch quietly and listened to his tirade. Natsu immediately called an emergency loft meeting after Cosmos couldn't leave their home fast enough, and he got redressed. Lucy sat on the couch with her face buried in her bedroom pillow and her favorite pair of pajamas on, while Loke and Gajeel sat there, sweaty and still in their running clothes.

"I'm sorry Natsu..."

"Just knock!" he shouted at her.

When he seemed about done shouting at them (mainly her), she removed her pillow from her very red face, and timidly picked up her travel-sized feeling stick.

"Um, Natsu... I..."

"Put that down."

Lucy couldn't hide the surprise at how quickly he shot her down.

"But I just want to talk to you..." she whimpered.

"Nothing to talk about." he said coldly. His words felt like a sword slicing through her.

She retreated back to the back of her couch with her pillow, her face turning red due to pent up emotions. Frustration. Sadness. Anger. Her eyes started to get a little misty and she could feel her face crumpling up but she willed herself not to cry and she blinked back her tears. She didn't want her other roommates feeling sorry for her, or thinking they had to start tiptoeing around her because she was a crybaby or something. She brought all this upon herself so she just had to suck it up and take it. But even still...

A girl could only take so many verbal lashings in a day.

There was a pregnant silence in the room as Gajeel and Loke observed Lucy's fragile state, gazing on her with pity while Natsu continued to pace, too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice how he hurt her at all. Gajeel, who was sitting next to Lucy (and next to Loke, being sandwiched between the two blondes) picked up her travel-sized feeling stick. "I... feel..." he looked to Lucy and hoped he was doing this right because, God knows he felt stupid holding the thing. "...that Natsu is not honoring the feeling stick."

Gajeel gave his cousin a disapproving stare.

Lucy's eyes landed on him, surprised but also touched by his actions.

Loke reached for the feeling stick, glaring holes into Natsu and not tearing his glare away for a second.

"I feel the same way."

Lucy's face grew a small smile as the two boys chased her blues away.

Natsu looked between his male roommates, whose gazes never broke away from the pinkette's eyes. Gajeel, reached for the stick from Loke's palm.

"I feel," Gajeel started, speaking calmly and softly. "Loke's had a particularly bad day... And I feel that if Natsu is truly Loke's friend... he would show Loke what's in his pants." He used the feeling stick to gesture to Natsu's pants. Without breaking his concentrated stare, Loke reached for the feeling stick from Gajeel.

"I feel supported."

Natsu leaned forward to look them both in the eye with an expression that mixed between total confusion and disgust.

"What the hell is going on with you two? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Gajeel raised his palm in the air and raised his eyebrows, recoiling from Natsu's outburst. He reached for the feeling stick from Loke's grasp. "Ummm, I feel like Natsu's yelling."

"Stop it!" Natsu hissed as he retreated to his room.

After the meeting

"Yo." Gajeel, stopped in front of Loke's doorway as the honey blonde laid on his bed with icepacks on his thighs. "I just wanted to thank you, for taking me running."

Loke slowly rose up as Gajeel continued.

"I may not have a job or anything, but at least I can run a mile. Cause umm, watching you try to run? Yeah, that was kind of pathetic. I needed that."

"I suffer from exercise induced asthma," Loke informed him matter-of-factly.

"Do you suffer from exercise induced crying too?"

"It's a real thing man, okay?" Loke said somberly. "EIA. Look it up."

"You want to know what I learned after all those hours of researching on the internet?" Gajeel asked with his hands in his pockets. He focused on the floor in total concentration while he leaned on his man-bun for neck support. "We've got nothing to worry about. Everybody has their moment. We might get a cat one day. We might name him chopsticks and maybe one day he'll end up playing chopsticks on the keyboard with chopsticks. A bear might fall on our trampoline - my point is, we don't need to have it figured out right now. Our moments will come," he said gesturing between the two of them.

Loke grew a big smile on his face and he pounded his chest in solidarity with his roommate. Gajeel swiftly exited.

"Hey man," Loke called. "Let's... let's keep bro'ing out."

Natsu laid sprawled on his bed scrolling through something on his laptop when he heard three raps on his door. "Come in!"

In walked Lucy, with her silk pajama set on, covering her eyes and knocking on the wall.

"You don't have to knock once you're inside Luce."

She shyly walked inside and closed the door behind her while he looked at her with a grim expression.

With her hands behind her back, she stepped forward. "I worked on something for you."

Natsu sat up and crawled to the edge of the bed to be nearer. "All right."

With as much seriousness as she could muster she began. "My name is Lucy Heartfilia, and I have seen Natsu Dragneel's penis."

As much as he didn't want to, and as much as he hated himself for it he couldn't help but laugh at her stupid statement. "Oh my God," he said exasperatedly, reaching for his pillows and throwing them at her with all his might. Lucy giggled and shrieked as she was attacked by the cottony weapons.

"Here I am, thinking you wanted to give me something, and then you go and say that ya nut," he remarked with the ghost of a laugh still on his lips.

Lucy fixed her glasses on her face and smiled back, happy he was loosening up.

"Well, you told me earlier that you would have a mature conversation once you thought I was handling the subject matter maturely, so... there you go. My first step."

Natsu couldn't help the smile playing on his lips as he eyed the girl in front of him, glasses, messy ponytail, rubber duckie pajamas and all.

"You didn't have to go this far Luce."

"But I wanted to," she smiled brightly. "I couldn't risk losing you as a friend."

"Lucy... is that what all of that was about? You thought we'd stop being friends over this?"

Lucy opened her mouth to respond. Truthfully, that was what she thought, but hearing him say it aloud made it sound like she was being ridiculous. He scooted closer to the edge of the bed until his feet were planted firmly on the ground. He looked up at her. "Lucy, you know that just because we have a fight doesn't mean that we're gonna stop being friends, right? I have a.. bit of a temper as you can see and sometimes I get mad over stupid shit. Gajeel just straight up fights me and Loke gets on my ass about things all the time. Even if I seem really mad about something, you should just give me a day or two to throw my tantrums and then I'll be fine. Notice how Gajeel and Loke didn't flinch?"

Lucy looked down as she reflected on his words. Now she felt a bit embarrassed for fretting so much.

"Can I ask you something?" She said softly. Since he seemed to be in a sharing mood, she figured it didn't hurt to ask. "Why did you quit boxing? I mean even if you take it up again as a hobby its a great way to control the shape of your body."

Natsu visibly stiffened. "Who told you about that? Was it Loke or... nevermind, it's Loke."

Natsu sighed and flopped back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. He took a second to think about his answer before responding. "That was a long, long time ago Lucy, and I was a kid when I was still fighting, but I've matured a lot since then. I don't know, I guess I just outgrew it."

Lucy nodded her head slowly. She didn't want to push, but she recalled Loke explicitly saying 'something happened' and then he quit boxing, which didn't sound like 'growing out of it' to her. But she had to caution herself. Hopefully one day, he'll open up to her and tell her all about it. 'One day at a time Lucy.'

"Um, so did Cosmos call you back?" Lucy asked, switching topics.

"No, and I don't see Cosmos calling me back either. Lucy, would you call me back after all that?"

Lucy veered off to the side guiltily.

'Absolutely not.'

He took her silence as confirmation and nodded. "Exactly."

"I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay, because... Maybe you were right. Maybe I'm not ready for casual hookups... yet." He emphasized the ending, just so Lucy couldn't have another victory.

"Well you know, maybe one day... when you are... you'll be able to show her your other penis..." she smiled sweetly and poked an index finger at his chest. "Your heart penis."

"Get out of my room."

She aptly turned around without protest and headed for the door. Even she knew when a joke was corny.

"Hey wait, Luce," Natsu called. The blonde turned around just as she was about to grab the doorknob. "So, uh, I've been thinking about this for a while now but... why were you in my room with just a bathrobe on?"

Blood rushed straight to her face and her cheeks slowly started to turn red. Damnit! Why did she keep listening to Cana's terrible ideas when she knew better?

"Because I got lost and I thought your room was mine." That was her story and she was sticking to it.

"Okay, but... Lucy your room is on the opposite end of the hall... and even if you thought it was your room, as soon as you opened the door and saw it was mine, why didn't you leave?"

Lucy's heart rate quickened. She felt trapped and cornered like the guy from 'Get Out'.

Shit.

"I know that this is a bit of a reach here, but did you... want me to see you naked?"

Her face exploded in a shower of crimson. Her face was so hot, steam was practically coming out of it.

It was a dumb idea when she first heard it, it was a dumb idea when she replayed it again in her mind and it was even a dumb idea when she was standing in his mirror checking herself out. All times she's acknowledged it was a stupid idea, and yet she still somehow went through with it? What was wrong with her?!

She was going to sound like a complete lunatic if she actually said yes, especially for her flimsy ass reasoning.

"You know what, forget it," Natsu's voice yanked her back into reality. "That was a weird suggestion. Sorry about that."

Listen," he continued. "Maybe we should just call it even? I know that sounds even weirder but if it makes you feel better about what happened... oh, and don't tell Cana about this please?"

Lucy nodded mutely, not being able to say anything due to how embarrassed she was. Out of everything that's happened today, she somehow blanked out the fact that Natsu saw her naked.

"Goodnight," she squeaked as she tried to slip out the door

"Your body's beautiful Luce, you should embrace it in all-"

Slam!

He erupted in giggles at her reaction. The truth is, he didn't actually see anything back there when her bathrobe dropped because he focused his eyes elsewhere. He only told her that he did because he figured this was her plan all along. He saw her naked, then she could get him to move on by saying they were even. Teasing her about seeing her naked was just a bonus. He considered it revenge for all those good-natured, but frankly awkward comments that Lucy made about his body on the elevator. Oh, and the only reason he mentioned Cana was because he had a sneaking suspicion that Latina she-demon might've had something to do with this too.

He smiled and shook his head while thinking of it all.

Damn, this was a wild weekend.

The next morning, Natsu woke up considerably early considering it was a Monday and his shift wasn't until the evening. He headed to the showers with a towel around his waist and sneaked behind the curtain to turn the water on. He leaned against the wall with his hands behind his back.

"Get out Loke." He said calmly, staring at the floor with a straight face.

"I'm the only one who hasn't seen it!" came his echoed voice from inside the shower. A second later, out came a soaking wet Loke in his work attire, giving Natsu a miserable look as he walked away. Natsu just kept shaking his head at him and waited for him to get all the way out of the bathroom before he could hop in the stall and enjoy his shower.

A/N: Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! You made it to the end! Another 10k chapter for the books. Okay so a few things I wanted to clarify and address, so please read.

The character that I based Gray off of in the actual show, Coach, ends up leaving the show after the pilot episode because the actor had other commitments, which is why Gray moved out after chapter one. They didn't recast him either, they just added a totally new character, but kept coach in the story. Coach eventually comes back but it isn't for a long while. So yeah, I really liked his character too, but but I'm being true to the show. I forgot to add this detail to last chapter's A/N so I decided to do it here.

Lastly, and a fairly minor thing was Cana's Spanish. Do you guys need one to one translations or, are you cool without it? I'm curious.

What was your favorite part (or parts)? Mine was definitely the conversation with Natsu and Lucy at the end and the loft meeting. I personally thought that was hilarious.

Thank you so much for the continuous feedback! Particularly from: queenuly14, Copperreign12, rao hyuga 18 and Meow Orbit on the previous chapter! Your comments inspire me to write! :)

Anyway, this is long enough, so until the next one!