Chapter 1: Punishment (Part 1)
"I thought ya said she wasn't your girlfriend?" Angel was heard asking.
"She's not!" they heard the Crimson Paw respond.
"Ya, sure? Cuz she's acting like one from where I'm standin'," they had to agree with the pornstar's assessment.
"Are you okay? Anything broken, bruised, cut, severed?"
"Mom! You're smothering me!"
…
"MOM?!"
Beep!
Silence permeated the conference room as the trio registered what they just heard; it was broken rather crudely.
"Ho-ly," Vox began.
"Shit!" Valentino finished.
"Yes!" Velvette cheered, surprising her partners, "I fucked a prince! Dreams do come true!"
"Fucking a prince is a dream come true?" Valentino quirked an eyebrow.
"I'm British," Velvette shrugged as though it answered everything, "Either way, I can cross it off my bucket list!"
"But…you're already dead?" Valentino cocked an eyebrow at her.
"And now I'm a livin' demon, wat's your point?"
"What the fu-That's not how it works!" Valentino barked at her. He didn't even know where to begin with that flawed logic.
"Still counts."
"No-"
"Enough! Val, stay away from him. You too, Vel."
"Why?" both Vees exclaimed.
Vox's face buffered and developed static from their comments, "HE'S THE FUCKING SON OF A PRINCE OF HELL, AND THE BEAST OF THE APOCOLYPSE!" if he were just an heir that might be one thing and they may have been able to use him as leverage.
"Hey, I only slept with him…twice," Velvette very eagerly recalled the night and day in question and wouldn't mind having another go when the opportunity came up, "The piss baby here is the one that wants to bugger him."
"The fuck? I don't…Uh, well-"
"Val, stay away from him. Whatever plans you and I had for him went up in smoke the moment Beelzebub got involved," powerful as they were, a sinner could only at best become as powerful as a Goetia, if they were very lucky. The power of a Sin was on a whole other level. Trihexia was on a whole other level! "Fucking Alastor. Bad enough he's back, it's clear those two know one another."
"Which makes it safe to assume Mr. Radio is likely chummy with the Queen Bee, too," Velvette added her two cents.
"Fuck! No wonder we haven't seen that red-haired shit-stain in the last seven years," Valentino snarled.
While the moth demon could care less about Alastor compared to Vox, knowing he had privileges even most sinner overlords lacked was more than upsetting given the multitude of benefits it granted. Though sinners were confined to the Pride Ring due to powerful forms of magic, the Sins could bestow demons, sinners included, with unique and incredibly rare objects only they possessed that would allow travel to other rings, and even the human world. They were more or less travel visas only the Sins could give out.
"Actually, Vel. Your little escapade with him might actually benefit us," Vox grinned.
"Come again?"
"Ohohoho! I get you," Valentino grinned at his on-again off-again lover's implications, "Get her chummy with the son of a Sin and his mama might give us passes to the other Rings, maybe even Earth!"
The youngest overlord in the Pride Ring narrowed her eyes when she understood what her partners were getting at. Expanding outside Pride on a greater scope was more than tempting, but them using her as a chestpiece for whatever game they wanted was another matter. It was usually the case. Vel was treated with respect due to her influence, but both Valentino and Vox came from eras where women were still seen as second class and that mindset hadn't fully gone away.
Had her influence in the media and fashion not been well known they likely wouldn't have bothered with her. The fact they had been overlords for much longer compared to her was also something that was brought up from time to time. In all honesty, Velvette was getting tired of it. Perhaps a change was in order.
Besides, Velvette was always up for a good romp after dealing with stress-related bullshit. She just needed to wait for the right opportune time.
A week had passed since Extermination Day, and the reveal that Naruto was the child of a Sin, of which there were now two instead of one, though Charlie still outranked him as the daughter of the King and Queen of Hell, and Naruto could honestly say he was-
"So freakin' bored!"
"Quit saying dat already!" Angel shouted from the lounge, the pornstar was massaging his head for what was likely a hang over.
"Bad move," Husk snorted from the bar.
"Why?"
"You just made the list."
"List? What list? His fuck list?" Angel wouldn't mind being on that list.
Naruto responded with a quirked eyebrow, "And with that said, you've bumped yourself to the top of the list."
"I don't mind," Angel grinned, which was quickly lost.
"Never heard of anyone wanting to be on his prank list," Husk chuckled darkly; Angel's fur became pale, more so than usual.
"Oh, fuck me."
"No thanks! I'll stick to women," Naruto informed the pornstar, "Seriously, is there nothing to do around here? I'm going stir-crazy here!"
The comment had Husk discreetly edge himself away from the Embodiment of Hell. Sure, Naruto alongside Vaggie were hotel security, but so far nothing had really happened that warranted much of that. No guests. No attacks. Nothing! Naruto had cooked meals for everyone – being the son of the Prince of Gluttony, Naruto had inherited his mother's affinity for food – but even then, that only alleviated the boredom for a short time. Naruto was losing it from the sheer lack of activity. And when the Scion of Gluttony got bored-
"NARUTO!"
-he pulled pranks. And having been a victim of said pranks, Husk knew better than to make himself into a target. Thank you Angel and his lack of filter for diverting attention away from him!
"YOU. ARE. DEAD!" Vaggie shouted deadly murder from the second-floor balcony.
"...Do da carpets match the drapes?" Angel chortled.
"Te apuñalaré!" Vaggie cursed at the porn star.
"No puedes! Le haré una broma más tarde!" Naruto told back.
That actually caused Vaggie to blink, "You speak Spanish?"
"Ehh," Naruto waved his hand horizontally. His Japanese - given it was very similar to his first language - and English were way better, the latter was due to a spell making it so everyone, Sinner and Hellborn alike, quickly understood the most prominent language in Hell, "Mom had me learn a lot of weird shit to keep me outta trouble when I was young. Spanish was one of 'em...Plus, the teacher was really hot."
"Thanks, kid," Husk laughed.
"Not you!" Husk had taught him a bit of Spanish, true, but Naruto was referring to another teacher he had been given by mother.
Naruto at the time didn't know if it was normal or not, but were he still human he was certain most children shouldn't have been taught by a hot Latina succubus - one that looked similar to a very young Rita Moreno - with highly inappropriate clothing, if it could even be called that. And him having the mind of a teenager, Naruto never missed a single lesson. Hey, Rita Moreno was fucking hot during her youth! Though it had been hard to concentrate at times whenever she bent over.
Like most incubi and succubi, she didn't wear underwear. Not that he was complaining. His mother laughing and joking about him being an early bloomer and the fact she would bring it up at parties, however, was so freakin' embarrassing. It didn't help that succubi and incubi didn't age the same way most demons did.
"Yo, Foxy! Do the carpets match the drapes?" Angel asked once more.
Vaggie had skulls in her eye.
"Wat? I'm curious?"
"Tempting as that was, I am a gentleman," Naruto appeared to look dignified.
"No carpet in the first place, huh," Angel called his bull.
"Smoother than Ken doll."
"OH, THAT IS IT!"
"What's going o...Pfthahahahaha!" Charlie covered her mouth but couldn't stop herself from laughing.
"Oh-ho! Well done, my boy," Alastor chuckled alongside the laughing Princess of Hell.
"No! No laughing! My hair is covered in fucking polka dots...that glow in the dark! And flicker!"
"They glow and flicker?"
Naruto clapped his hands and everyone witnessed the lights go out - for some reason - and saw to their amusement that the polka dots did in fact glow and flicker. Vaggie snarled so Naruto clapped his hands once more to turn the lights back on.
"Okay, when was that installed? And dat's hilarious. How'd ya manage it anyway?" Angel asked before taking a swig of his beer.
"Trade secret. Not my best work though. I didn't have time to put in the sound effects," Naruto groused.
"So. fucking. dead!" son of Beelzebub or not!
"Look, if it makes you feel any better I spiked Angel's drink with beer-flavored laxatives," Naruto revealed.
Which prompted a spit take from the wide-eyed pornstar onto the hotel's unfortunate bartender.
"Gaaahh! The fuck, asshole!" Husk cursed up a storm and looked ready to kill the spider demon. Not that it would do any good given sinners, unlike most hellborn, could only be killed by certain methods, otherwise they'd simply put themselves back together.
It really was Hell.
"Not cool!"
"I was kidding, the cap is still wedged on," Naruto couldn't believe it was that simple to trick Angel Dust. This was gonna be fun!
"You little-" Husk was certain this was one of Naruto's more subtle pranks.
"Can I kill 'im?" an upset Angel asked. What a waste of perfectly good booze.
"Get in line!" Husk told him.
"No. That's my job," Vaggie told the hotel's first resident.
"You're no fun!"
"This place is no fun! Seriously, what do you do around here to pass the time?" Naruto worked out but he could only do that so often.
"Drink."
"Clean."
"Radio."
"Kill bugs."
"Sing~"
"Work, drugs, booze, sex, and masturbation," Angel Dust's smiled.
"I can tell you and mom are gonna get along just fine," Naruto said, but he also tasted regret and sadness despite Angel's appearance.
The sinner was wearing a mask much like Naruto did in his past life.
"Angel!" both Vaggie and Charlie chastised
"Like those last two are any worse than what the two of you do, Princess Sundae, and Madam Angel," Naruto grinned.
While the rest of the hotel occupants laughed, both Charlie and Vaggie were bright red from the comment. The former with embarrassment and the latter with rage and embarrassment...and slight arousal. Either way, neither wished Naruto nor the rest of them had never learned of that secret.
(A Week Earlier; Aftermath of Extermination Day)
"Auntie Bee's your mother!? Why didn't you tell me?" Charlie was the Gluttony Queen's helldaughter after all.
"Never asked," Naruto told her with a shrug.
"What?" how could Charlie ask if she didn't know?
"And to keep him safe," the Third Strongest Sin added. And it was true.
The Seven Deadly Sins were second only to the Royal Family of Hell in terms of power, but even they could be backed into a corner under the right circumstances. It was why Bee never announced her pregnancy. Unlike Ozzie and Fizzarolli, whose relationship was considered one of the worst kept secrets in the Hell, though never official, Bee made certain her secret never got out. Especially when Mammon, the giant exploiting douche that he was, used that secret to his advantage.
Not much point keeping it a secret now given her son showed all of Hell what he could do. And who he was. And what he was.
"When did this happen?"
"Hmm, about twenty-two years ago?"
"Twenty-two years!"
"Okay, so it's clear you're a screamer in bed," Naruto winced. Enhanced hearing had its ups and downs, and Charlie had a decent set of lungs.
"She is."
"Angel!"
"Wat? The walls are thin and you got a set of pipes on ya dollface," Angel defended.
"Much as I want to disagree, you can be pretty loud, sweetie," Vaggie lost count of the times she lost her hearing.
"She get's it from her mother," Bee casually added and tasted the embarrassment that flowed from her helldaughter.
Charlie never felt so embarrassed in her entire life.
"But back to the point. The less people who knew about Naruto the better. Only a few like Bel, Satan, and Ozzie know, and your parents. They're the ones who convinced me to keep it quiet. Even more when I learned he had Trihexia's power."
"Why?"
Naruto sighed, "A number of reasons. But at the top of the list: Heaven and Mammon."
"Mammon?... Oh, right~" Heaven Charlie could understand, but she after quick contemplation she couldn't dispute the bit about her less than honorary uncle.
Out of all the Sins, Mammon wasn't above exploiting his fellow Princes of Hell's dirty little secrets for his own benefit. Except for Lucifer, of course. Mammon was greedy, and egotistical, but he wasn't stupid, or suicidal...Okay, he wasn't suicidal. He could be stupid at times.
"Yeah, Mammon," just thinking about him pissed off Beelzebub. The Prince of Greed, or the Clown as she and the rest liked to call him, had a nasty habit of making poor man version's of their products and ideas.
All seven of the Sins were originally angels who followed Lucifer for one reason or another back when they were known as the Seven Virtuous Lords of Heaven. When Lucifer was cast down and marked with the Sin of Pride and those who followed him, the remaining six and their underlings followed soon after during a failed rebellion.
As a result of their actions, Heaven punished each of them with the Wicked Mark of Sin, the antithesis of the Sacred Virtues that came into being as a result of evil being born into the world. Lucifer had been the first one marked, the Mark of Pride.
The remaining six were marked with the remaining opposing nature of the virtues. Mammon became the Sin of Greed. Beelzebub, however, honestly believed it just made him more of a greedy bastard than he already was. A sentiment the Sin of Lust Asmodeus shared.
"Mom, I'm letting you know now if the clown starts making plushies with my likeness-"
"Already have the rights to your image," Bee quickly interjected, "Can't do anything about his knock offs though."
"Leave that to me and Oz," Naruto knew the Prince of Lust would very much love sticking it to the Clown.
"Speaking of which, is uncle Ozzie the father?" Charlie knew how close the two were, and curious to know who the father was.
"Ha!" Naruto laughed as he saw his mother gag.
"Eww! Fuck no! Not in a million years!" Ozzie was more like a brother to her. Sure, it was Hell and who cares about judgment like incest, but...gross! And most importantly, "Sir Kaiju Cock is way too big. I like it rough, but not that rough!"
"Pretty sure a simple 'no' would have sufficed, mom," Naruto deadpanned though the Embodiment of Hell did to admit it certainly painted a picture.
"Um…Ooookaaayyy...Satan?" it was no secret to Charlie that Sin of Gluttony had a crush on Charlie's hellfather.
Pfft! Naruto had trouble biting back his snort.
"That drag queen? Pretty sure he's the biggest flamer in Hell. Not that you would know just by looking at him."
"Really? That..." Charlie began to recall certain moments in her life with the Sin of Wrath. The tea parties, the nail painting, the dress up parties, him helping her pick out her outfits for her prom, the songs he helped her with, "...Yeah, I really should have seen that coming."
"…Oops."
"Finally remembered Satan asking you not to tell anyone when we found out?" Naruto looked at his mother. She had a crush on the Second Strongest Sin for the longest time, too, until she and Naruto learned of it by pure accident during an unexpected visit. His mother had been crushed and sulked for nearly a week before Vortex got her out of her her funk.
The two started dating sometime afterwards.
"Yep. So, if ya don't mind not saying anything that would be great, I don't wanna have to kill ya's," she smiled, but the undertone of it was clear.
"Ha! We're sinners, toots. Good luck wit dat!"
"You're a dumbass," Husk sighed, he couldn't believe Angel Dust was this ignorant, "She's a Sin. They've got the power to kill sinners without needing holy weapons."
"No, they don't…do they?"
"Would you care to find to out?" Alastor grinned viciously.
"I could use the exercise," Bee stretched her limbs.
"They do," Charlie and Vaggie quickly saved Angel Dust's ass.
"Well, that's no fun," Alastor huffed, annoyed by the loss of entertainment.
"Boo!" Bee and Niffty voiced their disapproval.
"Real mature, mom."
"This coming from the one kid who once stole Lilith's teddy and bustier."
"SAY WHAT NOW?!" Charlie exclaimed; Vaggie had an evil look; she'd make certain Lucifer would know about this.
"Squealer!"
"Aw, does someone still have a crush on the Queen of Hell?" Bee teased her son.
"I hate you so much right now," Naruto growled and burned with embarrassment.
"Not hearing a no, my dear boy," Alastor teased alongside the Prince of Gluttony.
"…Shaddup," Naruto looked away as everyone laughed, "And before you go off telling Lucifer, I was caught, so he already knows."
"Damn it!" Vaggie stopped laughing as her blackmail became null and void.
"Back to Satan… I wish I did. Sleep with him, I mean. Damn shame he's gay, honestly. I'd have rocked his world."
"Pretty sure ya can still do that," Angel Dust gave his two cents.
"Hey, I'm into a lot of shit, and I am not into pegging! Not that there's anything wrong with if that's your thing."
Angel was about to comment that wasn't where he was going with that but was Charlie spoke before he could.
"Don't remind me. I still can't believe you gave me the giant dildo you sent me on my last birthday," Charlie deadpanned.
She still remembered that day. She opened the large present and upon unwrapping and opening its contents her father had been livid while her mother had made some embarrassing comments that were best left unsaid, and not something that should be told to ones child. Charlie had been even more embarrassed when she broke the damn thing in and wrecked it that same night with Vaggie.
"Ozzie's still curious how you broke that bloody thing," Bee asked a supernova Charlie and Vaggie.
"No comment!" both women exclaimed.
"Hey, I ain't judging! I lost track of how many toys I broke."
Naruto facepalmed. Why was he a part of this conversation? He might not have had a mother and father to raise him in the past life but he was fairly certain this wasn't a normal parent-child conversation!
Sure, he was a pervert given what he did to the angels, and other demons, but even then there were certain things you don't talk about with your kid. Naruto pretty much had a blank in his memory whenever he tried to recall 'The talk' his mother had given him. He pretty much concluded it had been traumatizing.
Charlie continued to blush and looked a bit uncomfortable at the casual reveal - especially with the way a smug-looking Angel Dust was looking at her - but then her hellmother had always been straightforward as fuck, "Okay...so who's the father?"
"Ugh!" Naruto groaned, knowing what was to come.
"Don't know," Bee laughed boisterously, "I had a lot of partners every night on the weeks he was conceived, women included."
"Hah! You're a gang-bang baby!" Angel chortled as he held his pet.
"I will eat your pig!"
Angel Dust held his hell-piglet protectively, "You leave Fat Nuggets outta dis!"
"...You named your pet Fat Nuggets? That's...pretty clever actually. Kudos," Naruto told him.
"Thanks!"
"I'll still eat him if you make fun."
"Naruto, I mean, it's not so bad you're a... gangbang baby," Charlie cringed at the word, "It's not the... worst thing that can happen," unless it was non-consensual.
"Exactly. Your hellcousin was conceived during a three-way with her aunt Eve, so she would know," Bee added.
"...Excuse me. WHAT?!"
"Hah!" Angel laughed some more while the rest watched from the sidelines.
"I'm a threesome baby?!" Charlie wasn't gonna be able to look her parents in the eye any time soon with that image in her head.
"Hey, relax, it's not the worst thing that can happen," Naruto shot back with a grin.
"Why you-"
"Sorry, I thought your parents told you! I mean, your half-sisters know!"
"PARDON?!"
"Hey, don't blame the messenger! Not my fault your folks had an orgy without precautions in place."
"I...I...I...I..."
"Oh, shit. Ya broke her," Angel laughed but did have a look of concern when Charlie didn't stop, "Uh, someone wanna boot her up?"
"Allow me," A smiling Alastor volunteered.
Smack!
"I have sisters?" Charlie finally spoke, "Also, ow!"
"Apologies, my dear, but you were more out of sorts than my mother's victrola," Alastor smiled.
"A what?" everyone asked.
"Hmm," Alastor's eye developed a twitch again when no one understood the word.
"...Ptfahahahahaha! Oh...Oh, man.. I'm sorry...It's just -ha!- Oh, your face was priceless!" the Sin of Gluttony held her sides.
"Good one," Naruto high-fived his mother, having sensed her intent and playing along.
"I've been saving it for a while now," Bee grinned.
"Oh, so not cool!" well, at least it was just a joke. A bad one, but a joke nonetheless.
"But you were conceived during a threesome. That part's true. And I know that because I was there. Damn five thousand-year-old Beelzejuice. All it took was one shot and ...well, next thing I know I'm being asked to be your hellmother."
Charlie felt her brain shut down as smoke came out of her ears.
"Oh, man that can't be good...I think we actually broke her," Naruto snapped his fingers in front of his hellcousin without any reaction, "Yep. We broke her."
"Yes, well...Just leave her there. She'll come too sooner or later. They always do," Bee laughed.
"Charlie...honey?" Vaggie asked.
...
"...Babe?"
...
"Don't make me do this."
...
"Hah. Well, you asked for it," Vaggie whispered into her girlfriend's ear. Unbeknownst to her, Naruto and Beelzebub's ears' twitched and both blinked.
"Damn!" were the thoughts of mother and son.
"I'll get the strawberries and whipped cream!" Charlie suddenly came out of her funk, "...Please lie and tell me that wasn't said out loud."
"Ya want some chocolate syrup with that?" Naruto commented before Vaggie could say anything.
"We prefer molasses," the princess said before she could stop herself.
"Good job, Charlie. Well done," Vaggie looked more than a bit irked at her girlfriend, and did her best to avoid eye contact with a smirking Angel.
"I wanna die," an embarrassed Charlie placed her head in her hands.
"You sure you don't want to make a princess-sized sundae instead?" the Sin of Gluttony further embarrassed her helldaughter by conjuring strawberries, a whipped cream can, and a bowl of chocolate sauce.
"Pretty sure she prefers a split," Naruto added, and the response earned a round of laughs from all but two.
"No more questions!" Vaggie declared, her face developed a new shade of red.
"Aye, aye, Madam Angel," grinned the embodiment of Hell.
"Waahhh!" Charlie wanted to die; Vaggie wasn't far behind.
(Present)
"We are never talking about that again. Ever!" Vaggie held her spear as if to get the residents to test her.
"Dat reminds, you gotta introduce me to Mister Big Cock," Naruto didn't need to see who said that. Even if he was given six guesses five wouldn't count.
"And that image you put in my head just earned you a double special," Naruto added to his list.
"How bad is dat?" Angel hoped it wasn't too bad.
"Trust me, my dear fellow, bad is it is that's nothing compared to his Crimson Paw Special," Alastor grinned.
"How much worst can dat be?"
Alastor looked at Naruto's friendly yet also not-so-friendly smile, "…Sleep with one eye open...for a month," Alastor's grin became strained and his eye twitched as he began recollecting a past incident.
"Like that will do him any good," Husk had a twitch in his eye.
Nifty had no reaction. Niffty was, well, Niffty.
"Fuck!" Angel cursed; Charlie and Vaggie both hoped they never became victims of such a prank.
It's a small Hell after all!
It's a small Hell after all!
It's a small Hel-
"FOR THE LOVE OF UNCLE CHRIST! TURN IT OFF!" Charlie pleaded; memories of her father's horrible taste in music and the worst, longest ride in Lu Lu World bubbling to the surface.
BEEP!
"Uncle Luci! What's up?" Naruto answered his phone.
"DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKI-"
Beep!
"Yeah, he's pissed."
"Did you just hang up on the King of Hell?" Vaggie couldn't believe the balls on Naruto.
"I'm his hellson. I can get away with it."
"You're his-"
Whir!
Whir!
"Hold that thought!"
Beep!
"Naruto speaking," spoke into the phone.
"Hey, kiddo!"
"What's up, mom?"
"Not Tex, that's for certain."
Okay, Naruto should have seen that coming. No pun intended.
"The spirit -ha!- is willing b-but the flesh is -heh!- weak," a tired voice panted. Great! They were on speaker.
"I'll say. That thing's more limp than a wet noodle."
Naruto's eye twitched, "This is punishment for last week, isn't it?"
"Which reminds me!"
Crap! Stupid big mouth.
"Tex has a bodyguard job and you're gonna help him out."
"What's the catch?" bodyguard duty was boring, sure, but there were way worse punishments his mother could dish out.
"Now where's the fun in telling you that?"
"Yeah, dumb question…Fine."
"Bring your bathing suit, too. You'll be heading up top. Tex'll text you with the location in half an hour...better make that an hour. I see life coming back in him."
"Can't we just cuddle?!"
"Oh, stop being a little bitch and brace yourself! BRING THE HOT HONEY!"
"NARUTO! HELP!"
Beep!
"Husk, what's the strongest stuff we got?" Naruto needed that image out of his head. Tex was on his own.
"This."
Thud!
"But with your healing powers that's nowhere near strong enough to make you forget what we just heard," Husk smirked.
"Damn it. Whatever. I'm off anyway. Call me if you need me!"
"Wait, you're leaving? What kind of hotel security are you?" Vaggie asked.
"The bored kind with nothing to do, and one being punished by the third strongest of the Sins. Why are you complaining?"
"Why?! You…Because…I…Why am I complaining?" Vaggie wondered. Naruto being out of her hair for a week was a godsend.
"Well, while you figure that out, I got a job to do. Call me if shit hits the fan."
"Where are you going anyway?" Charlie asked, having returned from a phone call.
"Human world," answered the orange fox-like demon.
"Human world? You can't go to the-What are you doing?" Angel realized Naruto was rummaging in his tail.
"Looking for my swimming trucks…Nope…Not that…Oh, that's where was...What the-"
"Finally! I'm free!" an exterminator cheered.
"THE FUCK!" many shouted and backed away from Naruto.
"Death to demon scum!" she shouted fanatically, her arms waving her holy sword like a maniac.
"Why's there an angel in your tail?!"
"And why is she naked?!" Charlie blushed. Crazy angel hellbent on killing or not, she had a decent figure.
"What?" the exterminator stopped her rant and looked down see she was indeed in her birthday suit. To their surprise, however, she shrugged, "Eh, I'm a nudist anyway. Damn outfit was too tight, too."
"Oh, my! Courting an angel, my boy. What would your mother say?"
"Very inappropriate stuff one should not say to their child," Naruto deadpanned.
"He's right. Auntie Bee would do that," Charlie agreed.
"Gross! I'd never fuck a demon!" the exterminator shouted.
"Bitch! I'd rock your world and then some!"
"Says every man alive or dead," the exterminator had a flat look.
"Hate to disagree with her, but-"
"Niffty! Roaches!" Naruto stopped the diminutive demon's comments.
"Where?! Die!"
"And with that out of the way, I'll be taking this," a quick glance at Naruto had everyone see him holding the angel's holy weapon in his hands.
"Hey!" the angel made a futile effort to reclaim her stolen weapon before something dawned on her, "How'd you do that?"
"That's what I'd like to know," Charlie and Vaggie, previous and current victims of Naruto's thievery, were also curious. One moment the weapon was in the angel's hands and the next it was somehow in Naruto's.
"And back in you go," Naruto pressed on the exterminator's head instead of answering. He was tempted to kill her given what she and the other exterminators did but Naruto was feeling generous.
"NOOOOoooo..." her screams became muffled as she sank further and further into the sea of long orange fur until she was heard no more.
"Well...Dat was creepy," and Angel had seen some live-action vore, too, "Da fuck was dat anyway?"
"Hammer-space. My tail can store a lot of stuff in it. Guess one of them got stuck in there without me knowing," which made it easy for him to steal things, too.
"Will she live?" Charlie asked, part curious and worried.
Naruto was pensive, "Never really had a live being in there before. Nothing's ever spoiled either. Besides, she can't get out unless I let her. She's an exterminator anyway. So, meh."
"Best you get rid of her and quick. A rogue exterminator on the loose is the last thing we need," Vaggie added and pointed at her eye.
Naruto merely give her a quick glance that made Vaggie feel uneasy before he went back to his searching, "Now, where's-Aha! Found 'em!"
"Orange? Ain't that a little on da nose?" Angel asked, "But how can ya go to Earth? Demons can't do that."
"Okay, I don't care if you hate it, you and I are spending some time educating you on how Hell works," Vaggie had enough of Angel's ignorance. The pornstar had been in Hell since the late 1940s for crying out loud! Stuff like this should be known.
"Perks of being the son of a Sin," Naruto told the sinner as he dusted off the swim trucks.
"Uh, okay, and how do ya expect them not to go all exorcist and mob happy on yer crimson ass?"
Naruto merely snapped his fingers and became engulfed in lava lamp-coloured flames, the fire danced around his form for a few seconds before they died and revealed a transformed Naruto.
The Son of Gluttony looked quite similar to his former human form only with longer hair and a chiseled face. His height increased by an inch or two, making him stand closer to Charlie's height, though he could make himself shorter if he wanted. His hair was now blond, which some found a tad odd given they expected it to be orange like his fur.
"Ooh, baby, momma really-likey," Angel purred at Naruto's sculpted form. And not so subtly glance downwards.
"I should have done that in private, huh?"
"There's a dumb question," Husk thumbed beside him.
"Hey, there wasn't any-COME TO MOMMA!" Niffty pounced upon seeing Naruto's human form.
"Nope!" the blond-haired ninja jumped to avoid the leg humping.
Crash!
"YAY! PAIN!"
"And that's my queue, later!" Naruto ran while the going was good.
"Holy crap he's hot," Charlie finally spoke with a bit of drool.
"Standing right here, babe," Vaggie had a pointed look.
"What? I'm just saying," there wasn't anything wrong with a little eye candy.
"Oho! Is our dear Vagatha jealous?" Alastor poked the bear.
The bear snarled back in kind.
"I'M NOT JEALOUS!" Vaggie couldn't stop the shout that escaped from her fang-filled maw.
"Yeah, sure ya ain't," Angel smirked.
"No bar for you for a week!" the comment wiped away said smirk.
"Oh, come on!"
"Oh, fuck!" Charlie cursed as the distracting events made her forget why she came out to the lobby in the first place, "Does anyone have his number?"
"Why?"
"I have a tuff of fur!" Niffty declared.
"Not helpful, Niffty."
"I do, my dear. But may I ask why?" the Radio Demon inquired.
"Well, after he hung up on dad he called me and said that… well… because of that little stunt he pulled on Extermination Day…ehehehehe…Heaven's pissed."
"Can't blame 'em. I mean, they can fuck off, but can't blame 'em really," Angel knew full well about vendettas with his mafia background.
"Oh, no, totally…Buuuut, here's the thing, they're setting up a meeting, and they want Naruto there," Charlie finished.
"Oh, boy," Angel didn't have to be Einstein to know where this was going and how it was going to end.
"Now there's a meeting I'd love to be a part of," Alastor could only imagine the entertainment that would in ensue, the chaos, the bloodshed! Oh, just thinking about it made him smile, and had others become wary of the Radio Demon.
Loona wouldn't say it out loud but she was glad to have been adopted by Blitzø. Sure, he wasn't what one would call the ideal father but he could be a whole lot worse.
But then there were times where he really annoyed and pushed her buttons and said love for him was pushed to the wayside and the her well-known hellhound fury made itself known.
This was one such moment.
"I love this song!"
Oh, shoot her now.
You were a spicy little- uh- Demon with the- uh- bleach blonde haaaair!
Fieeendin' for that semen when I caught your stare…
Thooought it might be love, but you went-
Oh, shit! Fu-
Fortune or misfortune smiled upon her as Blitzø's singing, if could even be called that with all the lyrics he messed up, stopped when a pink car with the license plate 'suck-4-life' suddenly cut them off and parked in their spot.
"Oh, you "suck for life", do ya?!" the angry Blitzø grabbed a damn megaphone, exactly why he had one in the first place still baffled her, "Listen up, you unoriginal pink cum dump! You have three goddamn seconds to get your tits out of my parking spot!"
Any further comments from his angry rant came to a halt when driver got out of her car, and it was one of the few people in Hell Blitzø wanted to see: an ex. In this case, "Oh, shit! Verosika!"
"Hold on!" did he say Verosika? As in Verosika Mayday the popstar!
"Blitz-o."
"I should have known you'd be here. I could smell fish for miles, which is odd. Because, I believe the nearest ocean is-" the imp fell flat on his face as he tried getting out of the van, much to Loona's amusement and embarrassment, "-three Rings DOWN!"
"And I should have known you'd be here when I heard the amber alerts."
Loona groaned. She should have figured that news of them taking the little douchebag from months ago would bite them in the ass. They hadn't exactly been subtle, and Stolas had nearly taken the book back as a result had Blitzø, being the manwhore that he was, not pulled an all-nighter to appease the Goetia prince along with damage control.
"Why are you parkin' here?! This is the ONLY parking spot my company has! So take your tampon race car somewhere else!"
"Actually, prick. It has my name on it," Verosika pointed to the newly and hastily written spray paint on the pavement, "I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies in the building and they wanted to have me come in this week to lead their team during spring break."
"A WEEK?! No, no, you are NOT parking here for a fuckin' week!"
"Awww, you mad, Blitz-o? You gonna run off, leaving someone else to pay for the hotel room, steal their car and run three rings to Wrath and max MY credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons?!" both demons finished.
"Goddamn it, whore, you will NOT let that go!"
"Choke on a sandpaper cock," the succubus, done with her conversation, began to walk away from her ex towards the building.
"Hold on! You better move that pussy wagon, or I'll-" a growl behind the imp stopped his rant short.
"You'll what?"
"Ah...uh..or...I...uh...I'll call HR..."
The comment had them pause before all three laughed amicably, "Oh, good one...Anyway, meet my new hellhound, Vortex, and...where's Naruto?"
Vortex shrugged, "Bee said she gave him the address. He should be-"
"BANZAI!"
Crash!
"-here."
"Oops! Whoever is the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on!.. and you're gonna need a new paint job...and a new car," Naruto muttered the last two.
"Not one of your best entrances," Tex gave it a six out of ten.
"Hey, Tex. So, who's...God, damn it, mom," Naruto quickly understood why the Sin of Gluttony was tight lipped on who was guarding.
It wasn't that he disliked Verosika, both knew one another through Ozzie and the succubus being a regular of his mother's parties, but the succubus had some unique kinks that she always tried to convince him to take part of. Kinks that not even Ero-sennin would touch with a twenty-foot pole. And the worst part, she almost always succeeded, to his shame.
Stupid libido.
"Naruto! How's my favorite hellhound," asked the affectionate succubus.
"Oh, crap. It begins."
"I'm standing right here!" Vortex deadpanned, feeling like chopped liver.
"Aww, don't be jealous Tex. How 'bout I make it up to you," Naruto saw Verosika's look and was quick to nip that in the bud.
"Nuh-uh! Nope! Not happening! Not in a billions year! This fox don't do a devil's three-way! Especially with his mother's boyfriend! No offence."
"None taken. Bee would skin me alive if she wasn't a part of it."
"TRIPLE HELL NO!" sure, incest was considered one of the lowest forms of sin and many circles didn't give a damn one way or the other ... but gross!
"Oh, foxy, don't worry, momma's gonna take good care of you," Verosika purred and he was nearly puddie in her hands. Naruto had to think of a not so pleasant memory to snap out of it.
"The last time you said that lube was involved," Naruto reminded.
"What's so bad about that?" Tex asked.
"It wasn't for her if ya get my drift," Tex winced.
"Oh, yeah, no thanks!" lube was essential, but no thanks!
Verosika pouted, "Are you sure? I bet I can convince you otherwise~"
Naruto simply gave the succubus popstar a deadpan look that only served to make her pout even more. It worked and Naruto caved.
"Damn it, woman! Look, I'll compromise. No dudes involved, and no lube to be used on me, and I'll," Naruto whispered into Verosika's ear but while the imps of I.M.P. couldn't hear what he was saying, Loona and Tex with their superior hearing could. Both were bright red, but not as red as an incredibly excited Verosika.
"Deal!" Verosika cried and pressed her lips to Naruto's cheek.
"Lucky," Loona thought.
"Why? What he say?" Millie asked.
"Huh? What?"
"You said lucky," Moxxie elaborated.
"I did?...Crap!" it suddenly dawned on Loona that she spoke out loud.
"Come on! Tell us!"
"Loona, I forbid you from repeating what you heard!" Blitzø ordered.
Which had the opposite effect as Loona whispered in Millie's ear and had the imp from Wrath turn a new shade of red, "You lucky bitch!" Millie knew her sister would be jumping the demon the moment he was alone if she knew what was said.
"Why? What did he say?" Moxxie asked.
"Sorry, hun, girl talk," Millie told her husband; Moxxie simply accepted the explanation.
"To Hell with that!" Blitzø didn't accept it, "And why the fuck are you in human disguise anyway? What, you so fugly you need to go around looking like a hot piece of ass?"
"Huh? Human disguise? Oh, shit, right."
Poof! The smoke that enveloped Naruto quickly disappeared to reveal the form of the infamous hellhound who put an end to Extermination Day
"Sup!"
"...Oh, fuuuuuuuccccckkkk meeeee!" Blitzø cursed his luck.
"WAAHHHH!" Moxxie screamed in terror.
Loona felt her heart stop.
And the last member of I.M.P., "Can I have yer autograph!" Millie presented Naruto with her axe and knife with stars in her eyes as she looked up at the fox-like hellhound.
Naruto blinked, not expecting that kind of reaction, but quickly deduced based on Millie's looks and accent, "You're from Wrath aren't ya?"
"Born an' raised, suga'," Millie proudly admitted, "And let me tell ya, the way you fought those exterminators! Hmmmmm, if I weren't married, I'd do you right 'ere and now any way you want me."
"MILLIE!"
"Wat?! I said if I weren't married, hun!"
"Well, aren't you sweet," Naruto's pat on her head caused Millie to melt into a pile of goo, "I didn't know imps could do that."
"We can't," Moxxie cautiously approached.
"Oh, good, uncle Satan would tan my hide if I forgot one of his lessons."
"LORD SATAN'S YER UNCLE?!" Millie, now no longer gelatinous, and Moxxie exclaimed. Blitzø's jaw merely struck the pavement.
"Bad move, Whiskers," Verosika chuckled while Tex snickered.
Naruto cursed his lack of foresight. Rule number one, never let imps know you know Satan personally. Otherwise-
"Can we meet him? Please, please, please, please, pretty please!"
"I'll let you sleep with Millie!"
"I'll let you sleep with Moxxie!"
"We'll sleep with you at the same time!" both said simultaneously.
"Oh, come on!" Blizto couldn't believe how unfair that was.
-begging, pleading, and crazy bargaining happened.
"Uh...um..."
"Huh?" Naruto looked away from the pleading imps to see a female wolf-like hellhound with grey fur, one he quickly recognized, "Hey, glad to see you made it out okay."
"Oh...uh..." fuck! Why was this so hard?
"Is Loona blushing?" Moxxie couldn't believe it.
"Awww, Loona's gotta a crush," Millie gushed.
"Oh, Hell, no!" Blitzø was not pleased.
"Umm...Hi!" Loona wanted to die by how lame that sounded.
"Hi, I'm Naruto," he introduced himself.
"I'm wet. I mean Looma! Loonie! I mean-Oh, fuck me!" Loona wanted to die right then and there.
"Only if you play your cards right," Naruto merely laughed it off, "Hi, Wet. I'm Hard," while Bee wasn't the perfect parent at times - again, being initially human he had a different perspective - Naruto did learn a lot from her all the same. Good and bad.
Loona blushed but laughed all the same.
"Oh, no ya don't!" Blitzø had an antique pistol pointed at Naruto's head.
"Bad move," Tex and Verosika told the imp.
"Why?"
Blitzø quickly and painfully learned the why. It didn't end well for the imp or the cars around them.
"Thanks for another forgettable experience!"
"Ttthhaannkkk yyyooouu...For letting your guard down! Aha!" Pentious gloated, having torn off a piece of Alastor's suit. Which was a big mistake, for the Radio Demon was less than pleased by the lack of proper conduct from the snake.
"Oh, shit!"
KABOOM!
"WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Pentious screamed as he was sent flying into the distance.
"Well, it looks like I'm off to the tailor. Best of luck chums!"
"Wait, you're leaving? Alastor we need your help! Without Naruto-"
"If memory serves, my dear, you are the hotel security, not me. And with Naruto gone that places such responsibilities squarely on your shoulders. Isn't that what you wanted?"
Vaggie really disliked the Radio Demon's logic.
"Yeah, well, we still need a wall?" Angel pointed at the hotel's newly made but unwanted entrance.
"Oh, but of course! Can't let my new project fall into disrepair already. What would the papers say?!" with a snap of his fingers, black ink demons with construction tools appeared.
"Uhh, hi? Is it safe?"
"Hmm? And who may I ask are you, my dear?" Alastor asked the small dark-skinned and white-haired woman who wore a modest but torn-up shirt and jeans ensemble that came out of a hiding spot.
"Um, I'm like, totally interested in getting outta here, and I saw you guys were, like, helping people get inta Heaven, or somethin'. Can you help me?"
"...Yer shitting me," Angel Dust could not believe his eyes and ears.
Neither could Alastor and Vaggie for that matter.
Charlie's eyes had sparkling stars and even a pink unicorn with a rainbow for a tail flashing across her eyes, "Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! You heard right! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! See, I told you people would be interested!"
"I don't fucken believe it," Angel Dust still couldn't wrap his head around it. Did his blow go bad?
"I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong," the small woman asked shyly.
"Oh, don't mind him," Charlie waved off Angel's comment, "I'm Charlie. That's Vaggie, that's Angel Dust, that's...where Alastor was...and you are?"
"I'm Vel. Vel Tev."
From their headquarters, the two older members of Vees watched the scene unfold from their hidden drone. And both cringed.
Valentino palmed his face into his hands.
"D'oh!" while Vox's face had Homer Simpson exclaiming his catchphrase.
Both were having serious doubts about their plan.
"We really should have expanded our selection process."
"Agreed. Get Pentious on the line," at the very least Vox hoped the serpent being there would divert attention away from Velvette.
He hoped it was enough.
First off, sorry for the delay folks. Real life and other commitments got away from me. This chapter has been split into two parts as
Second, I would like to thank each and every one of you for reviewing. 150+ in one chapter is awesome! Please continue doing so as it helps.
Third, the third chapter will be coming out more quickly as I know how I want it to go.
Fourth, review tons once more, please. They help keep the story alive. No reviews mean I won't bother with this story. I would like to at least get 60-80 reviews for this chapter. Seriously, it's not that difficult to do and it's just a few seconds out of your life, not hours. This is especially so with Fanfiction being the way it is with update notifications.
Fifth, the latest Helluva Boss episode has given more ideas and how to flow the story for Son of Satan.
Sixth, for those curious about how Naruto and Verosika know each other...well, I guess you'll have to wait and find out.
Seventh, what did you guys think of the latest episodes of Helluva Boss? I'd like to hear your opinions.