A/N: I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to write this. Taking care of a toddler and a newborn has been...well, pretty all encompassing. Thanks for your patience.
Ch. 3 - Foxy
Zoro sat up and stretched. He'd been sitting at his wife's bedside for half an hour at least, allowing Chopper a lunch break. Helena hadn't stirred. Perhaps he'd been overly optimistic to hope that she'd be awake by now. Something about her situation seemed off though, but he couldn't put his finger on what.
The door creaked open and Chopper peaked into the infirmary, catching Zoro in a pensive mood.
"Any change?" the doctor asked.
Zoro shook his head.
"Were you expecting one?" he replied pointedly.
Chopper frowned. "No, I guess I just hoped for one."
"What do you mean by that?" Zoro prodded as Chopper toddled across the room to retrieve Helena's medical chart. He flipped through it pensively, scribbled something, and turned to check his patient's vitals.
He seemed to be ignoring the question. Zoro decided to push it:
"It's weird. She was at sea for, what, two weeks?"
"Two and a half at most," Chopper agreed, not looking at him. "If the papers are to be believed, that's when she was last seen at the Red Line."
"Chances are she wasn't without supplies the entire time," Zoro went on. "I'm guessing those Storm-whatsits washed some of them overboard. I'd estimate a week, week and half at most."
Chopper hummed noncommittally.
"…not long enough to put her into a coma," Zoro went on.
"She's not in a…" Chopper started in an intentionally flat tone, still gazing determinedly at his clipboard.
"She's non-responsive, Chopper," Zoro cut him off. "I tried to get her to wake up. She's out cold."
"After I expressly told you not to," Chopper chided with would-be humor, but he still wouldn't meet his gaze. "She's got a lot of gnarly injuries…" he defended.
"Nothing nearly gnarly enough for her to be like this," Zoro said. He'd definitely seen her put up with worse. Resolute, he placed a hand on Chopper's clipboard, forcing him to lower it and look at him. "Chopper, what are you hiding from me?"
"It's not that I'm hiding something, it's just that it's too soon for a diagnosis," he said, then sighed. "But then, maybe it's best you prepare yourself. The others told you what we've read in the news, right?"
Zoro nodded.
"Then you know what she's lost; what she's been through," Chopper went on. Zoro refrained from grumbling that he'd like to know a lot more. The details were all so vague. Chopper continued: "Suffering what she's suffered, I think there's a very real possibility she doesn't want to wake up."
"You've determined that after half a day?" Zoro asked incredulously.
"Like I said, it's too soon for a diagnosis!" Chopper defended.
Zoro sighed and stood, shaking his head. "You've got it wrong, in any case," he said. "If you think Helena's depressed or something, you missed the fact that she fought her way here. She may have lost her kingdom, but she's got a daughter to live for."
And she has me, he noted internally, for some reason not really doubting that it would be enough. Me and the crew. She hasn't lost everything.
"Well, you know her best," Chopper admitted, shrugging as he fiddled around, still checking Helena's vitals. He didn't seem convinced.
"If she was going to give up, she would have done so long before now," Zoro insisted. "Whatever's draining her, it's not that."
Chopper's head whipped around to look at him. "What did you say?" Zoro stared at him, but before he could respond, the doctor went on in a rush. "Something draining her? I can't believe I didn't think to check…!"
He dashed to a nearby drawer and started rummaging.
"Check what?" Zoro asked with interest, but Chopper waved a dismissive hoof in his general direction. "Does she have a parasite or something?"
"Nope. I'm not giving you a diagnosis before I'm sure this time," he insisted.
"Fine," Zoro grouched. "I know you'll take good care of her in any case."
"Shut up!" Chopper replied, grinning, "It doesn't make me feel good that you're confident in me!" He stopped his happy dance suddenly. "Anyway, you should probably go back to the kitchen. Your daughter is pretty upset."
"Those idiots! I knew I shouldn't have left her with them," Zoro growled.
Usopp had always thought he was pretty good with kids. Until that very moment that is. Zoro blew into the room just in time to see him holding a wailing Kuina.
"What did you do to her, Long-Nose?" Zoro snapped over the noise.
"I-it wasn't me!" Usopp defended loudly. "I just picked her up!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" the child caterwauled. Usopp and the rest of the crew winced.
"Anyway, ROBIN took her to pee over the side again," he went on, hoping diversion tactics could save him.
"She what?" Zoro demanded, rounding on her. Diversion successful. Usopp gave himself a mental high five.
"She asked me to," Robin defended, so calmly she almost couldn't be heard over the child. "It certainly doesn't explain why she is upset now."
"You're not allowed to help with her potty training anymore," Zoro insisted with narrowed eyes while Robin shrugged. Then he turned back to Usopp. Shoot.
"Well…maybe she didn't like lunch!" Usopp deflected quickly. Sanji glared daggers at him from the sink, where he'd started on the dishes.
"Really, Long-Nose? Looks to me like she cleaned her plate."
"Did she? I saw Luffy eyeing her food," Usopp pointed out.
Luffy stuck his tongue out at Usopp, pulling down the skin under his eye just to add to the effect. "I looked but didn't touch!" He grumbled under his breath: "Sanji made sure of that…"
"Fine, then…then she doesn't like her chair!"
It was Franky's turn to glare at him. "Ow! She helped with the superrr improvements! There's no way she doesn't like it!" – It was true, the booster chair had been painted green (the princess' favorite color), embellished with daisies, hearts and glitter, and sported an extra cushy seat now.
"Careful, Usopp," Nami goaded, "The more you try to foist the blame, the guiltier you look."
"But I didn't DO anything!" he insisted.
"If I may," Brook put in, having just taken a sip from a tea cup clutched delicately in his metacarpals. "Perhaps the little Princess could use a nap?"
Kuina paused at the word and blinked at him in disbelief. Her wailing started up again a moment later. "NO!" she insisted.
Brook smiled and nodded sagely at his cup. "A nap it is!" he observed, taking another sip.
"NO!" Kuina screamed again, struggling to get free of Usopp's arms. "NO NAP!"
"No nap?" Zoro replied, aghast. "What kind of crazy person doesn't want to nap? I'll take one with you, kid. Would that help?"
Usopp might have laughed at this oh-so-generous offer if he weren't still struggling with a struggling toddler. She scowled at Zoro, angry tears in her brown eyes. For once the prospect of spending more time with her papa had no effect. "No nap," she growled, "Need Foxy!"
"Split-Head!?" Luffy spluttered, cocking his head to one side.
A horrible laugh echoed gratingly through Usopp's psyche: Feh feh feh feh feh! He and the other crewmates familiar with the pirate captain Silver-Fox Foxy shivered at the thought. Even Zoro's face registered a distracted moment of disgusted confusion:
"I really don't think that's what she means," he replied to Luffy, eyebrow twitching.
Before they could question the toddler further, another crack of thunder immediately caught everyone's attention.
"Please don't tell me that means what I think it means," Usopp groaned.
Nami had already gotten to her feet. She didn't look happy. "We really need to be better at keeping a lookout," she grumbled.
It was true. The crew had gotten distracted by Helena's arrival, and with meeting Zoro's kid. They'd happily spent the morning entertaining the little girl, and marveling at how she exhibited traits from both her parents. It wasn't a good excuse to get too carefree, though, even on a ship as carefree as this one.
Out on deck with the rest of the crew, Usopp saw what he had feared. The stormwyrms had returned.
"How do they keep finding us?" Nami gasped, eyeing the living clouds gathering above the ship. "We flew over a league!"
"Ah, I may be to blame," Robin replied with a pensive air. "I thought they were tracking Queen Helena. It appears they were in fact tracking the Princess."
"…and you just had her pee over the side," Nami realized, face-palming. "Great."
"Ow, if that's the case they would have found us eventually anyway," Franky put in helpfully. "The septic tanks empty into the ocean when they're full."
"As fascinating as that is," Nami went on, drawing her climatakt. She activated it and started to wave it about purposefully. "What are we supposed to do about these things if they can track over such a long distance? Robin said there could be thousands!"
"Well, they might stop tracking us if we can steal back whatever they're using to keep her scent," Robin pointed out. "They should have an object or something of their target. Something that would have washed over the side."
Nami could feel the static in the air, could sense the stormwyrms preparing a powerful discharge. She was ready for them. Though they had intelligently pooled their resources for a single, potent lightning strike, Nami had turned her staff into the perfect lightning rod.
Jagged arms of light ran up and down her takt, making it glow. Releasing a weather egg into the air, she let the light jump harmlessly from her staff to the ball. The explosion to follow blew away the stormwyrms' cloud cover. For a brief moment, gleaming, afternoon sunlight spilled across the deck of the Thousand Sunny, illuminating the grim faces of the Straw Hats and their slimey attackers.
"FOXY!" Kuina wailed.
Nami whirled around. "Usopp, you idiot! Why'd you bring her out here again?"
"Are you kidding?! I'm not hanging out alone with a shrieking toddler!" Usopp defended, holding Kuina as far away from his person as he could manage.
"That's scarier to you than fighting monsters?" Considering Usopp's usual cowardice, this came as a surprise.
"FOXY!" Kuina shrieked again, waving a pointing finger, only this time her father echoed her.
"Foxy!" he exclaimed in understanding, and he gestured toward one of the exposed stormwyrms with a sword. "They've got her fox!"
Nami looked toward the eel creature in question, expecting to catch a flash of orange somewhere. It took her a moment to see what Zoro meant, but at last her eyes alighted on a mint green fox plushie dangling from the stormwyrm's needle-sharp teeth.
In the time it took for everyone to understand what was going on, the stormwyrms had slunk back into the water.
"Yo! We've got enough cola for one more coup de burst," Franky informed Nami helpfully. "It's already loaded. Just say the word and we can make our superrrr exit!"
"Right," Nami said with a nod. "Let's get that fox."
Zoro knew he could trust the crew with his life. He didn't feel the same about trusting them with his daughter's though. Their insistence on bringing her out on deck in the middle of a battle only exacerbated that.
"Usopp!" he barked as more living clouds converged above them, "Do I even have to say it? Get her back inside!"
"B-but," Usopp whimpered, "She bites!" He tearfully lifted an arm to showcase the angry princess hanging off of his bicep by a full set of baby teeth.
A trice of stormwyrms swooped onto the deck, trailing fog from the cloud cover in their wake. Usopp barely swept himself and Kuina aside in time to avoid getting chomped by one of them.
"What do you wanna bet these things bite harder?!" Zoro pointed out, cutting the attacking eel-monsters from the air. They flopped onto the deck in pieces. Maybe Sanji could make something of them later.
Before Usopp could respond, another stormwyrm dive-bombed him from above. With battle-honed instincts, the sniper went immediately for his slingshot. "Special Attack star..KUINA!" he cried, "Wait…NO!"
He looked up to see her flying straight toward the attacker's gaping mouth, the baby fat of her cheeks flapping in the wind. He'd loaded her into his sling by mistake!
He screamed and flailed in useless terror as she sailed up and away from him. Zoro quickly leapt into action. With swords at the ready, he kicked off of Usopp's head, smashing him nose first into the deck.
The Stormwyrm opened its jaws wide, but Zoro lopped off its head, and sliced the rest of it to smithereens. Kuina passed through its open, disembodied jaw like a ball through a sharp-toothed hula hoop.
With the stormwyrm now gone, and nothing to stop her ascent, Kuina flew straight up only to come careening back down toward the ship, passing slam dunk through the still airborn hoop jaw again.
"Ocho Fleur," Robin called. "Cradle!" She caught the flying child in a bassinet made of her arms, swaying her to reduce the impact.
Robin quickly rocked her charge away from the falling eel detritus Zoro had left in his wake. Too quickly. The princess flew from her arms, over the ship's railing, and out toward the churning sea.
"I'll get her, yo ho!" Brook called, diving overboard before anyone could stop him.
Wrapping his bony arms around Kuina, he manage to catch the little girl before they both hit the water. Clearly having the time of her life, the little princess clapped her hands in excitement as Brook started running on the ocean's surface, her tantrum long forgotten.
"You long like gampa," she informed him. "You a gampa? Where you winkles?"
"Yo ho ho!" Brook laughed. "I don't have any wrinkles because I don't have any skin, little one! But I could be a grandpa by now, oh yes! Call me Grandpa Bones!"
"Gampa Bones?" Kuina giggled, "Siwwy Ske-we-ton. I yike you."
Thus distracted, Brook didn't get too far before he started to sink. Though his light frame made running on the water's surface possible, Kuina's added weight was just enough to make the going difficult. Add to that eels popping up left and right, forcing him to check his momentum, and it was less than a minute before Brook had sunk to his waist.
Fortunately Franky managed to catch them with a, "Strong Right!" before they completely disappeared beneath the waves. With the chain of his fist wrapped around Brook, the cyborg started carefully reeling in his catch. But then an eel popped out of the water directly beneath them, jaws agape in anticipation. Franky yanked the chain, whipping Brook and Kuina through the air. The skeleton lost his grip on the Princess, and she flew skyward once again.
With a calculated look on her face, Nami performed some more of her weather voodoo, spinning her baton toward the sky like a fan. If anyone watched her closely, they could see that she moved it counter to the circles the clouds were forming around them.
A small column of air had just started to form above her when Kuina passed by overhead. Caught in the miniature tornado, the princess whirled, her limbs akimbo, until Nami gave a little squeak and stopped her twirling.
Catching Kuina in her free arm, she glared at Zoro, "I'm going to have to charge you for baby-sitting, you know."
Zoro who had chased the child from the moment she left Usopp's arms, gave her an unamused glare as he reached for his daughter. She slipped away from them both before he could get a good grip as the ship lurched and then started to rotate like a music box ballerina.
"Franky, what do you think you're doing?" Zoro yelled at the cyborg, who had just taken up his position at the helm."
"OW! It's not me! The Sunny's moving on her own!"
"It's not the Sunny," Nami said gravely. "It's the stormwyrms. They've been forming a cyclone, haven't you noticed?"
No one really had.
"I was countering it until a certain someone's little princess got in the way. Has anyone spotted that stupid fox?"
Kuina had barreled across the deck and into the captain, knocking his legs out from under him. Unfazed, Luffy stood and tossed her onto his back again for another gomu gomu no papoose.
At Nami's inquiry about the fox, he and Sanji both turned to glare at the same cloud. It looked oddly nervous under their collective gaze, if one could say that about a storm cloud.
"There," Captain and Cook both observed, pointing at it.
It tried to blend in with the other swirling stormwyrms, but the captain didn't lose sight of the target. Springing into the air, he jumped close enough to release a gatling on the beast, even with his papoose-shortened arms. The flurry of fists quickly dispelled the stormwyrm's cloud cover, revealing it and the little green fox plush caught like a piece of unflossed broccoli in its unnervingly long teeth.
Luffy stretched both arms to grab the toy. It seemed the now bruised and battered stormwyrm might be willing to relinquish its prize, as it opened its maw in apparent acquiescence.
Actually, it was just an excellent actor. The moment Luffy's reaching hand came into range, it clamped down on it with a sickening grin, and took off.
Zoro watching in horror as Luffy gave a squeal of pain and flew through the air like the stormwyrm's kite. Oh the temptation to cut off the captain's stupid arms and let his daughter loose!
Just as Luffy managed to jump onto the creature's back, rodeo style, it dove for the water.
Fearless as always, Kuina shrieked in delight, apparently convinced it was all a game. But if it hit the water it was game over for her and the captain. The stormwyrm would most certainly dive until it drowned them, and Luffy wouldn't be able to do anything about it.
Zoro and Sanji both leapt to the rescue at once. Focused on his daughter, Zoro cut through the monster's teeth, releasing the captain so he could catch them both and toss them back on board.
Sanji had another target, however. The moment Zoro cut through the stormwyrm's teeth, the fighting cook kicked the eel's broken choppers in, nabbing the bedraggled fox plush in the process.
Franky didn't waste any time. The moment all crew members were back on board, they had seconds to grab hold before hot, white energy shot out the back of the Sunny. Still caught in the cyclone, the Sunny flew spinning through the air, incinerating the circling stormwyrms unlucky enough to be flying behind it as it spun upwards and away.
Soon they'd left the clouds behind, and through Franky's careful handling they came to land at a safe distance, discombobulated but all in one piece.
Zoro had hit the deck the moment the Sunny took off, flattening himself on top of his daughter (and thus, Luffy) to keep her from flying off. He straightened off of them now, and Luffy released her so that she stumbled dizzily upright.
Sanji approached as she got her bearings. Dropping to one knee, he held out the completely soaked fox plush.
"Here you are, Mini Moss," he said with a grin.
Darn that stupid cook. Zoro simply could not hate him in that moment. He just looked too happy to have helped Zoro's little girl.
"Foxy!" Kuina exclaimed, but before grabbing her toy, she took Sanji by the face and planted a kiss on the tip of his nose. "Tank you, my pwince," she said, all politeness and manners.
Ok, Zoro could definitely hate him again. Especially when the stupid love cook shot a triumphant, face-splitting smirk his way. Where did she get the prince idea from? Maybe because Sanji was well dressed or something.
Meanwhile, Kuina grabbed the fox and squeezed it so hard that sea water gushed out of it. The toy had definitely seen better days.
"She can't take a nap with that thing," Usopp pointed out, snatching it from her. "It's practically falling apart."
Kuina let out a blood-curdling scream. Long-Nose may as well have been torturing her. Idiot.
"What? I can fix it!" he insisted, eyes wide in alarm as he noticed Zoro bearing down on him with a hand on the hilt of his swords. "It needs to dry out first. She can't nap with this thing now!"
"Just give her the fox, Usopp!" Zoro snapped. What kind of idiot was he, taking her toy without asking?
"If I may," Brook put in suddenly, joining the cluster forming around the tantruming toddler. "I think I can get the little one to sleep."
"How…?" Zoro started, only to stop short when he noticed the violin in Brook's bony hands.
"I think I might know an Iliad lullaby or two," Brook said, winking his eye socket. And then he began to play.
Kuina conked out in seconds. The exhausted toddler didn't stand a chance against Brook's uncanny ability to project his soul into his music.
"Come on, Robin. She'll be more comfortable in our room," Nami pointed out, lifting the sleeping little girl. Despite her earlier comment about charging for babysitting, she seemed happy to cradle the child to her.
Brook stood beside Zoro as the two women went to get Kuina situated. "You are lucky to have her," the skeleton said gently. "I'm glad she is a part of the crew."
Zoro turned to look at him quizzically, brow furrowed. He wasn't sure how to respond to the nostalgic, almost wistful tone in Brook's voice, so he said nothing. It made him wonder for the first time about the skeleton's pre-pirating history.
A moment later he forgot about it completely as the door to the infirmary banged open, drawing everyone's attention. Zoro fully expected to see Chopper, waving a fist at them angrily for not warning him about a coup du burst before he could secure the patient.
The doctor was nowhere in sight. Instead, Queen Helena de Zoro stood in the door frame, eyes wide in excitement.
"So it wasn't a dream!" she exclaimed in wonder. "I actually found the Thousand Sunny!"