Author's Notes: This chapter took way longer than I expected. Hope you are still with me!
He doesn't come into her dreams the next night period. And then he misses the following night period after that. Then another one. Then Alice loses count of how many night periods pass without Nightmare's visits.
At first, Alice is making a conscious attempt to act like nothing has changed. After all, nothing really did, except there are no more dreams to tug at her sleep. Each time her head touches a pillow, a peaceful dreamless sleep overcomes her. She wakes up well-rested, ready to explore but somehow it doesn't contribute to her mood.
Why should she mind his absence at all? Never before has her social life been more thriving than now. Lots of people sought her out or sent her invitations to join them. Who else but Alice could brag they attended tea parties at both Heart's Castle and Hatter's Mansion? How many others possessed the very special golden pass to Amusement Park, a present from the Owner himself? Was there anyone else who could be proud of learning how to make coffee directly from Clockmaker?
Yet somehow something is undeniably amiss.
As time goes by, her anger rises. How dare he. How could he stop coming just like this now, when she got so used to his company? Why couldn't incubus do it earlier? Had it taken place sometime after her arrival in Heartland, this change would probably seem delightful to her. Lord knows how many times she felt driven up the wall by incubus's cryptic speeches and all-too-sharp looks, his evasive answers to her numerous questions.
But now- Alice bites her lip, trying to concentrate on what she is doing. Julius has finally given her permission to dismantle some clocks for him and it won't do not to pay attention, least she'd break something. But as her fingers carefully separate the delicate metal pieces her mind turns to the dream demon, beyond her will.
How completely and utterly unfair that it was always up to incubus to choose when he comes. Had Nightmare lived somewhere within Heart, she'd be at his doorstep the next time period, ready to yell his ears off.
But that was out of the question, the girl somberly reminds herself. Nightmare dwells in places she couldn't follow him to; places unknown to her. Her heart sank. Just what did she know of him?
In the case of pretty much everyone else, there were always clues available. Where Role Holders chose to live, how they furnished their homes and spent their leisure time always allowed her to guess at least something about their preferences and personalities.
But nothing of it worked for the dream demon, for a realm he calls home could take any shape or form at his will. Most often it showed nothing, but colored emptiness. Everything she knew about him, the girl learned from Nightmare himself. His strong dislike for hospitals and needles, his fondness for scented tobacco smoke, and warm, cozy blankets.
It felt so little. Especially compared to what she knew about others.
Alice scowls. Absurd. Wasn't Nightmare by far, the most impossible man of all of them? With his quirks and peculiarities, childish antics-
With his sharp looks and kind smiles. His readiness to discuss anyone, but himself. His endless patience with her.
After spending so much time eagerly awaiting the nightfall, just to be disappointed, Alice is forced to acknowledge the feeling for what it is. No use to lie to herself about this. Try as she might, Alice has but one name for it.
She. Missed. Nightmare.
As strangely as it sounded she missed this impossible man with his preposterous childish antics. She missed their conversations and how his voice would be melodic and sweet as if he tried to lull her to sleep even within a dream. Missed his smiles, which he had plenty of and wasn't shy to give – calm and contemplating, curious and gentle. And sometimes joyful, particularly on those occasions when she'd express some vexation with this or that custom of this bizarre world, amused with her perspective.
How was it possible that she missed Nightmare of all people? Shouldn't such feelings of hers be strictly reserved for people from her own world, those whom she hasn't seen in what felt like ages? Shouldn't Lorina be the one her heart longed to see again?
But it wasn't her sister she kept thinking about as she went on about her business. It wasn't her family members or friends or even her tutor, whom her thoughts kept stubbornly returning to even in the middle of a tea party.
Alice just isn't ready to discover she misses him. When, oh when did she start enjoying his presence in her life? This frail incubus, mysterious one moment, petulant like a child the other. He, with his riddles and half-truths.
Perhaps, it is good he isn't around for her thoughts would amuse him immensely had he the opportunity to hear them running through her mind, stumbled and clumsy. Alice tries to get a hold of herself. No reason to give him the satisfaction of knowing how his absence affects her.
But the more time passes, the more scared she becomes that something could have happened to him. Incubus was so frail, so delicate. Could it be that her charm didn't work this time? Nightmare looked alarmed when he sent her back and he did so without his usual "let's meet again". Could it be that she'd hurt or offended him in some way? She only did as he asked; could it be that dream demon saw through her and found her desire to touch him offensive?
This kind of thought makes it impossible for her to enjoy herself as usual. What good are adventures, games, and tea parties if she can't tell Nightmare about them afterwards?
It gets to the point when Julius is asking her what's wrong, his brows furrowed, his voice worried. Clockmaker may not have an incubus' powers of mind-reading, but he knows her well enough to see something is off.
She tells him because Julius is a friend, someone who should be able to understand.
"Why are you worried about Caterpillar? He'd been like this since forever", - Julius doesn't tell her about Tower of Clover and Nightmare's responsibilities as its head; it's obvious to him that Alice only knows Nightmare the Dream Lord and if Caterpillar himself didn't explain to her anything about his other duties, it wasn't Julius's place to tell. After all, it is an unspoken agreement between role holders – roles and duties that come with them are not to be taken lightly and not to be turned into idle gossip.
Julius means well. But his assurances that nothing is wrong with "that lazy bagworm" when he himself hasn't seen incubus for a while, provide little comfort. She can't very well tell her Clockmaker friend what exactly took place last time Nightmare showed up in her dream because, despite the innocent nature of their interaction, Julius is bound to be suspicious about this whole kissing business. Getting lectured is not what Alice wants at all.
What do you want then? She can almost hear Nightmare asking her, a teasing lilt in his voice.
And that isn't an easy question to even tackle. She knew before that she needed to find a way back to her world, but as time goes by and Alice gets used to her surroundings, it's getting more and more difficult to find the resolve to move on with this plan.
She has grown attached to Heartland, just as incubus predicted and urged her to do; has grown accustomed to the land, its inhabitants, and their bizarre ways. It feels like she has always been living in Clocktower with Julius, running errands for him and making sure he doesn't forget to eat. She plays chess with Blood; goes shopping with Vivaldi; plays games with the Twins and Boris; she learns more about the place every day and even though she still can't grasp much about the Game and the Rules everyone seems to follow, even despite life being generally disregarded, Alice can't deny her growing attachment to this world.
But without Nightmare's visits, she feels lonely, despite having so many role holders willing to keep her company, even at night (especially at night, damn them).
She asks around about incubus but gets unsatisfying answers. No one seems to have seen him in their dreams; no one seems upset about it, though everyone asked gives her surprised looks.
Could it be that incubus wasn't as nice to the rest of them as to her? The thought makes her blush slightly, but she shakes her head stubbornly, refusing to believe it. Entertaining weird ideas is not what she'd allow herself to do. She just wants dream demon to be okay and has no way to verify it without him.
The sudden idea strikes her. Perhaps, there was something she could do.
It didn't work out as she hoped. In retrospect, this shouldn't seem so surprising. There was no pattern to Nightmare's visits – incubus came to her dreams whenever he saw fit, without sending any warning. Foolish of her to think that these little tricks could be relied upon to help lure him in.
Worth a shot, Alice grimly tries to persuade herself, while demurely studying the pink ceiling in the guest room at Gowland's residence. The idea seemed promising at the time – what if Nightmare couldn't visit her, because she kept staying at the same place? After all, ever since she chose to stay at Clocktower, she made it her habit to return there, refusing to stay over anywhere else. It was done for safety reasons, but now after she became close to everyone Alice was fairly certain no one would try to kill her in her sleep.
Julius didn't like her plan, but let her proceed with only a few words of warning.
So she shoved aside her reservations and went on and accepted invitations to stay over, always generously extended to her by the residents of other territories. They were delighted, needless to say. Maybe they believed she finally grew tired of Clocktower and its gloomy lord and took it as an opportunity to show her just how comfortable her life would be, should she decide to change her place of residence.
But no matter where she stayed – Hatter's Mansion or Heart Castle, Gowland's residence – the Dreamrealm remained out of reach. At least she didn't need to suppress her sighs with no Julius around after waking up after yet another failed attempt to see incubus.
Why, oh why didn't it cross her mind to ask dream demon about himself more? She found time to question pretty much everything she saw in Heart, save his own mysterious being. Why didn't she try and learn more about Nightmare, while she could? Alice cursed her surety he'd always be there inside her dreams to bombard him with questions.
How stupid of her to assume he'd never stop visiting. Thinking back to all of their conversations, Alice can't help but admit she's given incubus plenty of reasons not to want to come back, even without those highly inappropriate thoughts about his lips she'd been entertaining lately.
How many times did she snap at him for one or another weird thing, beyond his control? How many answers did she demand, sometimes in a manner more befitting a spoilt infant, rather than a refined lady her sister raised her to be?
How self-centered of her to think anyone would keep coming back after being treated so poorly.
No, she decides resolutely, it wasn't the place. It must have been something she's done or said. Or thought. Perhaps, he simply couldn't take it anymore and rather than confront her, decided not to visit at all. Her heart sank.
It was so stupid to deny at this point. When she pulled that eyepatch from his face, something between them shifted.
And it wasn't only about him being so beautiful and her remaining unaware of it for so long. There was this—genuine surprise on his face as if he couldn't believe she might even consider paying him any real attention. And she was at fault here – when did she give him any reason to believe otherwise?
What could Nightmare be doing now, Alice wonders, turning to the side, - what kind of duties have kept him away for so long? Was he busy creating dreams for all of the inhabitants of Heart and beyond? How self-centered she was, having never considered a question or two about his duties.
If only she had some other way to meet him.
Then as if in answer to her wish comes the invitation to the Grand Ball (beautifully written, printed on vellum), and for a while that is the only topic the whole of Heartland can talk about. After hearing the ball is considered to be an obligatory event for role holders (Julius is rather vocal about his displeasure with this fact), Alice starts counting the turns before it. If the rules dictate that all of the role holders must attend the Ball, it means Nightmare too would have to leave his realm. For the first time, Alice is grateful for the rules (it is nice too for the never-ending territory war to stop if only temporarily, of course).
Now whenever the girl stops by town, she finds herself spending more time in front of clothing stores, admiring various dresses on display, wondering which kind of dress would be appropriate for the occasion. Her window-shopping never lasts long – Alice was never the girl to give much of her thought to such frivolities as dresses and has no desire to start doing so now when there are errands for Julius to run.
She huffs at a carefully polished pile of clock faces when Julius clears his throat.
"So, about Red Queen's ball", - Julius catches her off guard, making the girl put the polishing cloth down and send him a questioning look. - "Ace saw you ogling some shop windows"
Alice grits her teeth in irritation. Of course, Ace would tell. No hope to go anywhere in this world without bumping into one Role Holder or another.
"I wasn't ogling anything", - she hotly denies. "Just paying some respect to the creations of local couture"
Julius sends her an amused look. "I see. And Red Queen's ball has nothing to do with this sudden interest of yours?"
She doesn't want to lie to him (not to Julius and not over something so small), so she resorts to lowering her gaze.
"You don't need to worry about the ball", - his voice is kind.
She is taken aback by this announcement, but not to the point of not protesting.
"I am not letting you buy me a dress!", - Alice says. - "You are already doing too much for me!"
Julius's lips quirk. "Who says I am offering to buy you anything? I am merely saying there is no need to worry about it"
When she gives him a glare, Clockmaker sighs in resignation. She half expects him to tell her how her regular dress is more than fine, but Julius surprises her.
"There is a tale in your world about a girl who went to the ball"
"You mean Cinderella?", - Alice asks, curious. Sometimes, Julius seemed to know things from her world and she could never understand how.
"I suppose that is the name", - he nods, - "She made it to the ball just fine, didn't she? Properly dressed and everything"
"Her dress only lasted till midnight", - Alice says, to which Clockmaker just shrugs. "That's plenty of time"
"So you'd be my fairy godmother?", - Alice grins. Julius's scowl returns full force.
"Call me that again, and no dress you'd get", - Alice's grin just stretches further.
She feels a bit lighter, as she returns back to the task at hand.
When the time finally comes, Alice is bubbling with anticipation as Julius and Ace escort her to Heart Castle, which is everything rumors said and more. As it was custom the inhabitants of the Castle outdid themselves to decorate the main ballroom with scarlet. The ballroom was flooded with light from giant crystal chandeliers, despite the sunset glow flowing in through each of the beautifully curtained windows, dancing upon polished marble floors.
Tonight there will be no arguments, no duels, no bloodshed; guests from all over Heart came to celebrate, each party proudly wearing its colours – blue and golden for the Amusement Park; white and red and pink for the Heart Castle; black and red for the Hatter's.
The guests kept arriving and soon the ball room looked more like the garden outside – with men all sharply dressed in taxedos and women wearing bright, shimmering gowns, all floating fabric and beading. The gowns bared the wearer's backs, or their shoulders, or the decolletage in deeply plunging necklines.
In her old apron dress, Alice feels inadequate standing among so much grandeur. Not for long, because Julius, a dear friend he is, proves to remember his promise to her.
With just a clap of his hands, he transforms her regular outfit into something entirely different in a true fairy godmother's way.
"Do you like it?" From a tentative look Julius is giving her, Alice knows he probably gave it a lot of thought. She doesn't want him to think her ungrateful, so she scans herself thoroughly.
The dress is of lovely lilac color, (immediately she suspects that Julius picked this color on purpose). The neckline isn't cut low; her shoulders and back are covered from the eye with a small pink bolero. Her hair is parted into two loose ponytails, held in place by little flower clips; there are sapphire flower studs in her ears, as well as a sapphire pendant around her neck. The dress is simple, its length appropriate for the ball, but, perhaps, too simple, too bland for an evening dress, with no adornments, save for the purple sash, decorated with a blue rose and a string of small pearls across her bosom. In this ballroom full of finely dressed people she must look like a lonely, modest violet among lush roses. But overall, Alice decides, it would do. She doesn't look bad. The whole outfit makes her cute rather than elegant, but it will work.
"I like it this way", - it isn't a lie; it is certainly better suited for the ball than her regular dress. As soon as she says that Peter is announcing the arrival of the royal couple.
The ball has officially begun in perfect harmony, as the first notes of music fill the room. The center of the ballroom fills with dancing couples.
As music begins to play, Alice starts her search.
With a smile the girl slowly makes her way, greeting each familiar face, all the while on the lookout. Lot of compliments come her way this evening, but none of them come from the one person she wanted to see. She doesn't know how long she keeps searching, until it becomes obvious-
Nightmare isn't present.
It's a desperate move, she is aware of it. But Vivaldi is chatting with her brother (a rare occasion to do so safely in public), and Alice by now knows better than to expect Ace to know anything.
So searching for Peter it is.
Prime Minister is surprisingly hard to locate in a room so packed with guests, coming from all over Heart. When she finally spots him near the marble columns, the girl all but leaps to him.
"Alice! Have you been looking for me?", - it is inconceivable that something so small would make him so happy. But it is true, for the first time ever it was her who came looking for him and not the other way around.
"I am so glad you decided to come. You didn't have to, you know", - he blabbers happily.
"I thought Rules dictated for everyone to be present", - she lets out, cautiously.
"Everyone is here, Alice. Even those we didn't invite", - Prime Minister sounds a bit irritated at this.
"Not everyone"
For a moment White Rabbit is silent. Then his expression shifts. "I see. It is about Nightmare, isn't it?"
She doesn't feel comfortable under his scrutinizing look. "I was told Rules dictate that everyone should show up for the Ball. Isn't he a Role Holder? Shouldn't he be present as well?"
"He is a Role Holder all right", - admits Peter, - "But no. This time he doesn't have to"
The room seems suddenly to go slow and quiet around Alice, as if filled with water. The dancing crowd, the merry chatter of the guests – everything seemed muted and oddly slowed.
What does it mean "he doesn't have to"? Alice wants to shout. How could it be? Why were Rules so unfair, so confusing?
Peter breaks her out of her reverie with a gently tap on her shoulder. -"You shouldn't worry yourself over the likes of him, Alice. Now if you allow me-"
She doesn't want to dance at all, least of all with Peter White, so she utters a quick "Well, thank you very much, Peter, enjoy yourself!" and flees.
Despite the nasty news, she stays in the ballroom the whole night, afraid she might miss him, refusing tempting suggestions of having some rest in one of the guest rooms or the garden. As Alice waits, she reluctantly decides to dance. If Nightmare isn't here, he may be watching the event from wherever he currently was – and she'd be damned if she'd let herself be seen as a walflower. No, let him see how much she enjoys herself. Her plan is easy to put into motion – Heart castle's servants, forever grateful for the numerous court sessions she participated in, readily teach her the slow waltzes. Amusement Park workers compliment her dress and gladly walk her through the quickstep movements, precise and light. Finally Blood's servants pull her away to show the languid and slow tango steps.
Focusing on the dancing helps somewhat, though Alice can't quite stop the disappointment from rising in her chest. One dance is coming after another and soon her feet are absolutely killing her, but the girl stubbornly refuses to leave the ballroom just yet. She barely pays attention to who she is dancing with.
The ball doesn't seem such a great event anymore, and her feet hurt when they return to Clocktower. (She meant to ask Julius to change her shoes into something more comfortable, she really did. But the high-heeled shoes were the best choice with the dress Julius chose for her and for some reason she wanted to look her best).
When the Ball is finally over Ace helps her to get Julius back to Clocktower and leaves after helping Alice to lay the sleeping form of Clockmaker on top of the bunk bed. After the laughing knight bids her good morning(for its morning period) Alice is left to dwell upon the ball in silence.
Making sure Julius is properly covered with a blanket, Alice finally takes off her shoes and winces. Her feet are going to ache for eternity after all the dancing she brought upon herself tonight.
Quietly, careful not to wake up her friend, who deserved all the rest in the world, Alice opens his carved wardrobe. A mirror on the inner side of one of the wardrobe's doors returns her reflection – a girl with dark circles around her eyes, who looks more like a ghost in the morning light.
She does feel a lot like Cinderella, Alice dryly smirks. A Cinderella who didn't get to meet the Prince despite all of her efforts and had no choice but to return to her kitchen duties.
Shame washes over her immediately after thinking that. Her luck was better than Cinderella's, for at least she dwelled with a fairy godmother, rather than evil stepsisters and an equally evil stepmother. Alice imagined what kind of a face Julius'd make if she calls him that and barely suppressed a giggle.
Quietly she changed into her nightgown, making sure to hang the ball gown inside the wardrobe. Later, she knows, the gown shall again turn into her old dress. Casting one last glance at a lovely dress, which sadly didn't bring her what she hoped for, Alice dug out another blanket and closed the wardrobe.
Wrapping a blanket around her shoulders, Alice crawls upon a small green sofa. It is too small for her and Julius would berate her for sleeping like this, but right now she is too tired to care.
She doesn't know why she dreams this particular dream; maybe because it has been a long tiresome day; maybe because she fell asleep in an arguably not the most comfortable position; maybe because at this point she is sick with worry for a certain incubus, but the dream her tired mind concocts is nothing short of a nightmare.
Alice sees her own home again, the giant Liddell estate, but something is off about it; she sees lots of people dressed in black come inside the house and follows them, the dread filling her with each step.
"How horrible"
"At such a young age too.."
"Poor girl.."
The whispers surround her and Alice wants to scream but doesn't dare, afraid to say a word. In the crowd, she sees her father and Edith, but they don't look at her. Instead, their eyes are focused on a certain something in the middle of a room. When Alice follows the direction of their gazes, she blanches.
A coffin. A large black coffin, surrounded with flowers. People dressed in mourning come closer and put more flowers around, stepping away to let others pay their respects.
Alice wants to run away or at least reach the place where her father and Edith stand, but she can't break out of the line.
When she finds herself in front of the coffin, she forgets to breathe.
It is Nightmare laying inside on black velvet, his skin looking more like porcelain than ever before, a cascade of his hair glowing against a pillow. Unable to hold back any longer, Alice screams.
She collapses on the floor and tears that she couldn't shed at her mother's funeral threaten to choke her. She hears more whispers around her, saying how tragic it was for her to lose her fiancé. She hears her father's disapproving words, urging her to stop making a scene; she hears Edith spitefully murmuring under her breath how crocodile tears aren't going to fool her. But Alice can't take it; her whole being denied the scene before her. Nightmare can't be dead, he simply can't be!
"Next time you don't show up, I am going to prepare a mourning dress", - she recalls her own words, spoken lightly ages ago.
No, no, no! It can't be true!
"What an unbecoming behavior"
"Such manners, what would have Miss Lorina said?"
"Stop causing a scene – I would never believe your tears are sincere"
Alice can no longer recognize the voices – scary, angry, all saying something mean, horrible.
The tears choke her and she no longer cares for the voices around her; all she can do is cry. Please, no. No.
"Alice!", - the deep voice that suddenly cuts through the choir of angry, sad, disapproving voices, seems so familiar, the only friendly sound in the gloomy room.
It is accompanied by a pair of strong hands lifting her off the floor and the girl can't help but shiver at how cold they feel, even through the fabric of her black dress.
Cold hands? Not daring to believe it, Alice opens her eyes.
Nightmare's pulling her all the way up, making her stand upright again. He leaves his right arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him as they stand in the middle of the room, facing the crowd of mourners. When Alice dares to look around, she sees how none of the mourners have faces. She doesn't have courage to turn around and check the coffin behind them.
"Enough", - his voice is powerful and commanding; with one word of his the dream finally falls apart; in mere seconds the two of them are standing in Nightmare's realm, surrounded by clouds of purple and green lights.
"Can't take my eyes off you at all, can I?", - his voice is teasing, but she can hear poorly concealed worry. - "Just look what a scary dream you've created"
But Alice doesn't care. She was too startled to see him inside her dream, but now when he'd chased it away, she can't help herself any longer. Without reply she throws herself at him, wrapping her arms around his lean frame. She expects him to feel like a cloud in her embrace, soft and delicate, but to her surprise, dream demon feels stunningly solid. There is power there, she feels, beneath that delicate frame, as she buries her face in the white frills of his shirt.
"Please, don't disappear on me again", - she whispers.
He wraps his arms around her and even though they're cold, Alice drinks in the sensation.
"I am sorry", - she hears him whisper, as he gently rests his chin on top of her head.
They remain silent for some time as Alice tries to calm her nerves from what probably was the scariest dream she's ever experienced. How funny it works – she didn't bat an eyelash when nearly having fallen from a roller coaster; didn't scream when Ace killed some faceless in front of her, but one bad dream was enough to revert her into a scared little girl.
"Shush. Everyone is allowed to feel scared. Especially after seeing such a nasty dream", - his voice is soothingly comforting.
She isn't always this bad, Alice wants to argue but finds herself unwilling to leave his embrace just yet. Strange it may be, but as Nightmare holds her securely in his arms, her worries slowly dissipate. She never had any bad dreams since she came to Heartland, maybe that is why the nightmare seemed so frightning.
"I am sorry I let it happen. I came as soon as I could"
Only now Alice finally notices that he indeed seems different than usual. She has never seen incubus wear any kind of a suit before, let alone this official-looking one. The material of his black jacket feels silky beneath her hands.
"It is one of a kind type of material", - she hears Nightmare saying, sounding satisfied, - "Isn't it fitting for a cool guy like me?"
He is teasing her again and any other time Alice would have rolled her eyes. But right now she can't bring herself to say anything rebuffing.
"It is", - she whispers as she takes him in and his one visible eye widens – Nightmare never expected her to agree with him this easily. It almost makes her smile.
"I was so afraid something terrible happened to you", - there are still tears running down her cheeks. Something within him tightens, as he pulls her closer.
"Nothing can happen to me in my domain", - dream demon tries to assure her.
"But what about when you leave it?"
"You don't need to worry; I am important and have enough subordinates to look out for me", - only a complete madman would try to go after him.
Ever since Gray Ringmarc started working for him, such occasions were rare.
She doesn't seem convinced, but this little admission certainly makes Alice feel a bit easier.
"I was so afraid I lost you", - her voice trembles, and her hold on his shirt becomes tighter.
Nightmare smiles.
"There is nothing to be afraid of, Alice. Even if something should happen to me, I would just be replaced"
She pulls away enough to glare at him.
"How can you say that, so calmly? Aren't you afraid of disappearing?"
"People in this world usually aren't", - such a simple truth, but he can hear how the idea angers her. Not wanting Alice to rage at him, incubus hurries to soothe her.
"I don't have the slightest intention of getting replaced any time soon", - incubus whispers into her ear, earning him a sharp intake of breath from the girl, - "Not with you wanting me around"
The words make Alice feel shy. I didn't say anything like this, she thinks almost irritably.
"But it is true, isn't it? Otherwise, you wouldn't be so upset about my lack of visits"
She hates how dream demon can see through her so easily. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of agreeing with him, Alice pulls away and childishly turns her back at him.
She doesn't get to stand like this for long when incubus simply hugs her from behind. "There is no need to be so shy about it", - his whisper is hot on her skin and his lips almost brush against her earlobe. Alice bites back a moan and tries to pull away, but the grip Nightmare has on her waist is surprisingly strong. "It makes me happy that you wanted to see me this much"
I didn't say anything, Alice thinks stubbornly and he just chuckles gently resting his chin on her shoulder.
"I am happy you feel like this, Alice. It has been too often when you weren't very glad to see me"
And whose fault was that? Alice thinks, recalling how annoying dream demon seemed at the beginning of her stay – driving her up the wall with his observations about her, always giving the most cryptic of answers to her questions.
"I tried to answer your questions as honestly as I could. But I am relieved you no longer find me annoying"
He sees too much, Alice thinks. He always sees through her and there are things the girl isn't ready to show him, just yet. So she tries to change the subject.
"Why haven't you been around?", - she tries to turn to face him, but his grip is just too strong for her to get away from. Dream demon seems to like their current position.
"There are places I needed to be"
"Other than my dreams?", - the idea that his role might require more than just dropping by her dream crossed her mind already, even if it was tempting to think otherwise; obviously, it was naive of her to think she managed to figure out his duties.
"I am important and so are my duties", - incubus simply says, amused with her line of thought. "But you don't need to worry. You come first"
"What are you saying..?", - for someone who can get all flustered over something as simple as an innocent peck on a cheek, Nightmare surely had a surprising amount of confidence when he said such things. Now Alice feels all flustered.
"I am more than ready to ditch my duties if it's for you", - he simply says.
"Hey, don't get me involved with you sabotaging your work", - Alice manages to say. It doesn't come nearly as menacing as she meant to; in fact, it only makes the man behind her chuckle once more.
"I only say the truth, Alice. You are important"
"Because I am an Outsider", - the words come to her lips quickly, surprising them both. But isn't it the truth of the matter? Would anyone in this world care what becomes of her if she wasn't an Outsider, protected by some rules?
Incubus hears her thoughts and the bitterness she feels doesn't escape his notice. Alice feels how he pulls away.. Just to reappear right in front of her.
"I believe I've told you this before. You matter", - the girl feels entranced by the intensity of his gaze.
"Because I am an Outsider", - she manages to whisper. It didn't bother her before – if this whole world is just a dream she is going to wake up from, why should it matter how ridiculous it gets? But as time goes on, the more doubtful she feels about the whole world being a dream, the more she wants something more solid. Is it too much to hope for that there would be more reasons to care for her other than her being an exotic creature by local standarts?
If it was Lorina and not her, they would all love her just for herself.
Dream demon in front of her waves his hand impatiently.
"And here you go again, comparing yourself to your sister", - he dryly comments. As much as he likes listening to her inner monologues, these particular thoughts are something Nightmare wants to chase away even more than her bad dreams.
She turns her head away, but he'd have none of it.
"You may find it hard to believe", - at this his hands come to cradle her face, gently turning it to face him once more, - "But I personally think your sister is a bore"
This is enough to make the girl in front of him gasp and pull out of his caress. "You can't say such things about Lorina!"
He feels her indignation, but also a tiny sliver of satisfaction. "I'm only saying the truth", - dream demon shrugs nonchalantly, - "I fancy edges"
He wishes to say more. How unique Alice is, how special. But all words freeze on his lips when she hugs him again.
And he wonders if perhaps the clock in his chest is no longer a clock but a bell or rather many tiny silver bells which chime with every sigh of relief escaping her lips, with each time her fingers unconsciously tighten their hold on the lapels of his jacket. And it feels like it often does whenever he is with her how the moments he so carelessly let slip through his fingers become something precious, something he wants to keep in his grasp forever, just like he wishes to prolong this particular moment with her in his arms.
"What would happen-", - her voice is barely audible, - "-if I keep holding you while waking up?" Would I be able to take you with me?
The unspoken again makes the bells inside his chest chime.
"If you could do that we'd end up holding each other in bed", - the image shouldn't seem so appealing to him, - "And then I am certain Clockmaker would have a lot to say"
"Oh", - she nearly forgot her current living arrangements. Something tells Alice that if Julius protested against her buying some new mugs ("nothing's wrong with the old ones") he'd definitely say something against adding an incubus to the household.
"And then Clockmaker'll turn his wrench into a gun and try to shoot me dead", - Nightmare agrees with her inner reasoning, - "Better do it the other way around. I can guarantee you the warmest welcome on my side"
"Can you do it?", - it never crossed her mind that if Nightmare could leave the Dreamworld he might as well be able to bring someone along. Perhaps..
"Considering you are in an altogether different country, it goes beyond my power", - he sighed, but before Alice could tease him about not being able to do something within a dream, Nightmare leaned down, so that his lips almost touched her earlobe.
"Perhaps, it is for the best", - he whispers, - "For I can't guarantee I wouldn't try to whisk you away"
She nearly forgets to breathe. "Julius will not like that"
Nightmare smirks. "As well as others, I am sure"
He gently blows at her ear and Alice nearly squirms from ticklish sensations.
"The question is – will you mind?", - his lips are positively too close to her ear. This should count as harassment.
"Of course", - the girl tries to summon the necessary scowl, but fails miserably, - "I don't want people to worry about me"
"Always so prim and proper", - she can't say if there is really a sigh of disappointment mixed with a teasing lilt of his voice.
"It's time for you to wake up", - he whispers softly. Unconsciously her hold on him tightens. Her thoughts quickly drift to all the things waiting for her on the other side – various small house chores around Clocktower; an invitation to check out some newest attractions at Amusement Park; a promised visit to Heart Castle. But somehow despite how she usually looks forward to all these tasks, she feels so terribly reluctant to nod her agreement to Nightmare's words and let him send her off. Who knew, maybe he planned to disappear again..
"I have no such plan", - his words come louder this time, surer. Alice almost feels like leaving her comfortable spot to steal a glance at his face. However, fear that he might disappear right as she lets go of him, just makes the girl hold him tighter.
"I am not going to disappear", - he assures her and there is no way to say what is more in his voice – gentleness or surprise. "I am a dream demon"
"A dream demon who didn't visit for eternity", - Alice spitefully mutters and hears him sigh.
"I apologize for that. It wasn't my intention to make you worry", - incubus gently disentangles himself from her grasp, but not moving far enough as to break her hold on him completely off. He could have used his powers to escape her embrace had he truly wanted it, she knows. These little ministrations of him pulling away just enough so he could get a hold of her chin and gently lift her face up make this whole thing feel so real.
"I am not going to let it happen again", - he promises seriously, - "I won't let your dreams scare you, Alice. I promise"
It is not scary dreams she cares about. If he can't understand that-
"While you sleep I will be there", - Nightmare lips curl into a smile, kind and soft, - "There is no reason to worry"
For a long moment, they just look at each other.
"Promise?", - when she finally brings herself to speak, her voice is small. Of course, he has no trouble hearing her.
"Promise", - with that, he leans in. With her still standing with her face turned upwards it should feel intruding. Curiously it doesn't, though Alice can't even form any coherent thoughts when his lips softly touch her forehead.
Cold. But not as icy cold as she expected.
"I will be there, Alice"
When Alice wakes up, she still is a bit dazed, enough to barely register that she was no longer laying on a sofa. Probably, Julius moved her to bed, when he woke up. However, since she decided to stay at the Clocktower (and managed to persuade Julius to allow it), the luxury of a slow morning wasn't hers to have. After all, she didn't have her own room here; the bed she slept at stood in Julius's workroom and technically was his. At times it pained her to think how horribly inappropriate this whole arrangement was (Lorina would have never approved, for certain). Mostly she worried about how inconvenient it must be for her friend to have to share his already limited space. So as much as Alice wanted to stay beneath the covers a tad bit longer and dwell on what happened once more, she simply pushed the blanket to the side and sat up.