Chapter Sixteen: Unbirthday
Mona got up early on Monday. It was Chris' birthday, not Jonathan's, but she wanted to be sure that the boy didn't try to get into his parents' room in his excitement. Tony and Angela had obviously spent their date fooling around, and she would bet a hundred bucks they had continued at home. She looked forward to isolating and interrogating each of them later in the day.
The birthday boy was sound asleep when she looked in, so she tapped lightly on Sam's door. The teen padded over and swung it open. "Morning, Grandma," she said, returning to sit up on her bed with the covers over her lap. "Did you wait up for Mom and Dad?" she asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes.
Mona sat on the end of the bed and pivoted one knee onto the mattress. "Yeah, they got home alright. A little late. They'll probably sleep in."
"Did they kiss goodnight?" Sam asked.
"I'm sure they did more than that," Mona responded, glad to hear the couple hadn't been loud enough to disturb the children.
"Oh yeah. I forgot they're sharing a room now." Sam said. "It's weird, isn't it? They're, like, in love or something. I mean, they've lived together all this time. I don't know why they had to go out on a date."
"Sometimes parents get caught up in their routines with work and home and kids. They don't see each other as romantic partners."
"Did that happen when you were married?"
"It did. When Jess came along, she was the center of my universe. I didn't have enough energy to be a mother and a wife, even though I was quite young at the time. And it's not glamorous, having a baby. Some days, I'd be up to my elbows in poop or wearing her spit up or just unable to take the time to wash my hair. My husband had a beautiful secretary, and I felt like a troll most of the time. Of course, it got better for a few years. And then I started feeling like his priority was always work, even though I took care of my appearance and tried to be thoughtful toward him." Mona stopped short, her thoughts drifting to the summer of her affair with Charlie. The girl was much too young to understand. "Anyway, we loved each other very much, and the best times in our life were when we took opportunities to connect with each other."
"Good morning, Mom. Good morning, Jen," Angela called softly from the doorway. She had heard the whole monologue and was feeling guilty for resenting her mother's selfishness. It wasn't her whole character, more like a streak that protected her core being. She had actually been very loving and supportive, on the whole. The close relationship between grandmother and granddaughter struck a nerve until she remembered that she was closer to her own Nana than her mother had ever been.
"Good morning, dear. Did you get a good look at the heavens last night?" Mona noticed that her pajamas were creased, fresh from the drawer.
"What?" Angela yelped.
"The stars, Mom," Sam giggled. "Did you and Dad bother to look at them?" she asked with a grin.
"What have you been telling my children?" Angela demanded of her mother. Sam felt a small thrill at her possessive protectiveness.
"Nothing! Everyone knows stargazing is code for making out," Sam defended. "I've known that since I was a kid," she added, confusingly.
"Oh my god." Angela squeezed her eyes closed and felt her cheeks flush. Tony came up behind her and put a hand on the small of her back. His shirt bore the same crease pattern as hers.
"We saw the Big Dipper and the North Star. Plus a couple of planets," he explained.
"Venus and Jupiter," she added, trying to act normal.
"And then we made out," he grinned. She smacked him on the arm. "What? You're covered in hickeys!" he said to her as she tried to arrange her hair to conceal them.
"Since the whole family is here, how about we wake the birthday boy?" Mona suggested. Sam jumped to her feet and rubbed her palms together with an excited smile.
"You go first, Jess," Tony advocated. Angela had carried and birthed this child, and even if it wasn't an even number of years ago, she deserved to celebrate him most of all.
The four of them pushed Jonathan's door open and sang A Very Merry Unbirthday to Chris. Jonathan had been obsessed with Alice in Wonderland when he was five or six years old, watching the videotape once a week for a solid year. Now, the song took on a special significance.
After a few hugs and kisses, everyone went downstairs for a special breakfast of snake-shaped pancakes. Tony mixed the batter and created most of the creatures. When Angela tried a few, the family took the opportunity to guess which other animal each might represent. There was a lot of laughing and gentle teasing.
Tony watched as Angela displayed her work, bracketed by the two children. Her smile was so genuine and joyful. She loved their kids more than anything, even her hard-won career success back home. He was truly in awe of her and dumbstruck by the notion that she would give up everything to pretend to be his wife. She caught his eye, and her wide grin went soft.
Angela was still buoyant from the previous night's date. Tony seemed capable of anything. He was certainly a skilled lover, from all she had experienced with him so far. His little Shakespeare recitation had really opened her eyes to his potential. She knew he was more than a dumb jock, and if he had had her childhood, he would probably be a professor, not a housekeeper. Well, he wasn't a housekeeper anymore, was he? Just like she wasn't an advertising executive.
Mona gave Jonathan a pinch to grow an inch and a smile to grow a mile before allowing him to leave the table. Sam offered to clean up, and Tony and Angela went upstairs to get ready for the rest of the day.
Angela got the shower first, so she could wash and straighten her hair. Tony followed, washing himself and watching her apply concealer to her hickeys before adding some light makeup to her face. She was wearing a towel, tucked in at her bosom. In the current phase of their relationship, it was less risky than the pink robe that he had confessed to fantasizing about. He indulged in soaping up his package for a minute while looking at her long legs, then moved to his armpits before she got wise.
After she finished her makeup, Angela took the towel off her head and blow-dried her hair. She saw Tony fiddle with the shower knobs and the steam began to dissipate. As long as he was rinsing in cold water, she saw no reason not to hang up her other towel. They had seen each other nude, touched each other everywhere. And she was too warm.
He got out of the shower, toweling off and sneaking looks at her ass. Before he could think better of it, he hung his towel and approached her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. "I love this," he told her with a kiss to her bare shoulder. Then he peeled himself away before he could say what he was thinking. He loved her. There was no escaping the fact. All he needed to do was wait until she was ready to hear it.
x
Tony and Jonathan went to the barbershop for their first non-government-issued haircuts. They still looked ready for basic training in their matching crewcuts, but their styles were a little more subtle than the quick buzz each had been given several weeks earlier. "He's a chip off the old block," the barber remarked, whipping the drape around.
"He used to be such a momma's boy. Up until a couple of years ago. Now he's coming around," Tony said proudly.
"How do I look, Dad?" he asked.
"Rad!" Tony said, trying a little too hard. Unlike his teenager, the supposed nine year old was still buying his act. "How about we go to the park for some hopscotch, son?" They needed to kill a little more time. He hoped the great cupcake experiment was going well.
Angela had prepared the batter from scratch as soon as the boys left. It really wasn't that difficult, with a good recipe. She was beginning to enjoy some of her domestic duties. Sam was occupied in her room with a stack of Natalie's old magazines, most of which she hadn't subscribed to back in Connecticut. "Being a mom is easy when your kids aren't around," she said to herself.
"I agree. Why do you think you were always off at camp or boarding school?" Mona asked, materializing like Endora. Her daughter ignored the question, so she took a left turn. "Good job covering those hickeys. So, did you two finally make it?"
"I don't think anyone uses that phrase anymore, Mom."
"No changing the subject. You know exactly what I'm asking."
"No sex," she answered curtly, putting away the ingredients and piling the dirty dishes in the sink.
"Ah, you never fail to disappoint me."
"I didn't disappoint him," Angela pointed out with a sly smile.
"I knew you two got up to something. Sounds like third base. How long are you going to make him wait to slide into home?" she asked waving her arm into a flat-palmed slide gesture and raising her eyebrows.
"Aren't you concerned about our actual relationship?" she asked, rinsing the batter bowl after stealing a lick of the spatula
"Not at all. Are you in a relationship? Other than this charade of a marriage?"
Angela couldn't hold back her elation. "We want to go out again," she said with a wide smile. "Think you can watch the kids next weekend?"
"Anything for the cause, dear," Mona said, disappearing as quickly as she had shown up. She was just happy they were figuring it out.
The timer pinged, and Angela pulled the just-done cupcakes from the oven. "Perfect," she said to herself.
x
When Tony and Jonathan got home, everyone gathered to decorate cupcakes with the homemade frosting Tony had whipped up. They carefully spread half the bottle of sprinkles over a dozen cupcakes, after being warned that the pantry staple couldn't be replaced right away. Then the kids started a game, probably to avoid cleanup duty, leaving Tony and Angela to finish.
"You did a good job," he said."
"On the cupcakes?" she asked, licking stray frosting from her hand and meeting his eye.
"Yeah, good job today. Stellar performance last night," he said in a low voice.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I would also rate your performance as superb," she volunteered.
The flirting devolved into a playful embrace. "Everyone's busy. Why don't we go upstairs?" he suggested.
"You're not getting a quickie," she teased, disentangling their arms. "Not today," she continued, implying there would be a time. Tony stood in tortured longing while she walked away to join the kids.
"Boo!"
"Cassie. How do you do that?" he yelped.
"There was a Bewitched marathon. I feel a kinship with the mother-in-law," Mona mused.
"I can see that," Tony muttered flatly.
"So, my daughter tells me you two are going to keep up these date nights?"
"Yeah, last night was fun."
"So I hear. I just hope you're giving her as much as she's giving you."
"You mean…?" Tony asked, drawing his fist toward his open mouth and poking his tongue into his cheek. Mona nodded. "She told you that?"
"Hey, I worked hard to get her to understand she can talk to me about personal matters. And I taught her that spitters are quitters," she added, lightening the mood.
"Geez. I guess our business is all out there. Well, rest assured, when it comes to completion, I'm one for three. You don't need to worry about her being satisfied." Tony gave Mona a pointed look. "Now, can we drop the subject. It's Chris' birthday, not Bobby and Jess' sex life day."
"I'll drop it for now, but don't think you're gonna get off that easy in the future. Or maybe you will."
Tony rolled his eyes.
x
The family loaded themselves into the station wagon, Jonathan holding the cupcakes on his lap in the middle of the back seat. Sam had a pack of candles and a matchbook in her pocket. They arrived at Vinny's Pizza just before 6pm and headed to the big round booth in the back that had been reserved for them.
The Woodmans were at the counter. Angela went over to greet them while the rest of the family waved and found their seats. "We ordered an extra-large cheese and an extra-large pepperoni to share. You guys want to grab sodas?" Sheila asked.
"That was so nice of you. What kind of soda do you like?" Angela inquired.
"Coke, Sprite, root beer, whatever." She pushed her friend's hair aside. "Good job," she remarked, and Angela wasn't sure whether she meant the hickeys or the concealer.
"I took your advice. We went stargazing last night."
"Ah. You do look pretty relaxed for a mom at her kid's birthday party." Sheila winked.
"You were right. I'll get those sodas." Angela brought a pitcher of Sprite and a pitcher of Coke back to the table, then went back for a tall stack of plastic tumblers. The pizzas arrived a few minutes later and were quickly devoured. Sam stuck nine candles in a sacrificial cupcake and lit them in a miniature inferno that rained wax upon the frosting, while everyone sang Happy Birthday to Chris. Jonathan quickly blew out the candles, secretly wishing to be a real family. He was too old to obsess over a cartoon now, but when the family rented Pinocchio that Fall, he had related to elements of the story.
Tony and Josh got to know each other while Angela and Sheila chatted. Once the cupcakes were eaten, the three kids were allotted quarters for the arcade room. Mona played a 2-player game of Pacman with a grandfather and gave him her number. By 8pm, the pizza, cupcakes, soda, and quarters had all been depleted, so the two families parted ways.
"See you next year, Jess!" Sheila called out.
"I can't wait!" Angela replied.
"What's next year?" Tony asked.
"Sheila is going to take me thrift shopping this week. Could I have some money? I want to find something cute to wear on our next date." Gone were the days of dropping hundreds on a single dress. Her new friend had promised they would find her something sexy for under ten dollars.
"Well, I guess so. I got called in to do inventory on New Year's Day, so I'll be earning," he replied. He felt unbalanced by the request, finally understanding how upset she'd been to learn Bobby would be getting paid nearly twice Jess' salary, despite her degree.