"I think I might faint," Jane whispered, fanning herself, the slight hint of perspiration beading along her brow. Lizzy could barely hear her sister, not over the noise of what sounded like a thousand rustling petticoats, the shhh-shhh-shhh of fans fluttering desperate attempts for a breeze, and even the soft downy sound of feathers that bobbed in the hairdo's of the other ladies present.
They had arrived at the Royal Court, the Queen's palace in London, and were waiting their turn to be presented. The high ceilings above them did nothing to staunch the heat of so many girls, and their sponsors, waiting about, and there was no relief from the windows in the far wall, that were shuttered and curtained so firmly against the cold of the winter winds that it was as if the Palace had no clue the sweltering heat the young ladies were going to suffer in.
"A moment," the Dowager, who had brought them to the palace and up to the waiting room before disappearing for what felt like half an hour, said as she reappeared at their sides. "Follow me, girls." There was a curve of her lip, almost disdain, but Lizzy knew instantly it wasn't meant for either of them. "There has been some confusion about where you should wait, although I have had it sorted now. Come with me."
Jane gave Lizzy a confused, bordering on hopeful, look before following Lady Bowes. The older woman cut through the crowded room as if she were an arrow going right to the heart of the deer, with ladies left and right parting for her.
"She is magnificent," Lizzy whispered under her breath. If only one day she herself could command such a room with nothing more than an imperious walk and determination in her step. Jane followed immediately in Lady Bowes' wake, and Lizzy behind her, noting distinctly looks of surprise on the other girls, and a few glowers of irritation amongst mamas, and other older female relatives.
There was another door other than the tall, gracefully carved ones that they had entered through originally, and it was to this Lady Bowes walked.
A footman appeared, opening it with a bow and a soft murmur of greeting, and behind them, Lizzy heard an anticipatory rustle of fans and skirts as all turned to look at the two Bennets.
Again, just like at the modiste's, the attention beat down on her like the unforgiving rays of a cruel sun, and she lifted her head to meet it, keeping her shoulders straight and proud.
She may not have been born into this, but she had comported herself so favorably to have earned it in some small way, and she would use that thought as armor against any doubts.
Lizzy would not be cowed, not anymore, and the realization made her feel a great deal more comfortable than she had been.
"Through here," Lady Bowes instructed, and the footman ushered them past a narrow vestibule and through another pair of doors, the hallway opening up into a large and graceful room, this one far less peopled than the area they had left.
There were no more than ten girls in here, ten young ladies waiting with an elder female chaperone, and some turned to look at them as the Bennets entered.
"Lady Bowes," an older woman, who's red curling locks had begun turning to silver, said, as she turned toward them. Beside her, a younger woman stood, much the same in the face as what was clearly her mother. "Are these the young women you have sponsored for the Season? I have heard much noise about them as of late."
"They are, Duchess, may I introduce Miss Jane Bennet and Miss Elizabeth Bennet, of the Hertfordshire Bennets, who I have had the pleasure to meet, and have been pleased with. I have no doubt you will find them as delightful as I do," she replied before nodding to the girls, and introduced them to the Duchess of Newcastle, and her daughter, Lady Emmeline.
The Bennets curtseyed, Elizabeth feeling the shock deep to her bones. She had only been grateful to be in a room with fewer young women... one with cooler air to be enjoyed and not such a press of bodies.
She'd had no idea at all that the company would elevate so steeply.
Emmeline smiled at Jane, and then Elizabeth.
"Your dresses are most becoming on you," she said, lifting her fingers to her ear, and tapping against it as if it were almost a display of nerves. "I am pleased to make your acquaintance."
"They do cut handsome figures, I am sure they were the target of many envious glances in the other room," the Duchess commented to Lady Bowes, who did little to hide her amusement.
"I live to please myself these days, and the Gardiners, that charming couple I told you of in the summer, have done much to earn my esteem. These are the two eldest of their nieces, since all their own children are not of age to be helped with much more than school fees and the like."
"You are known for your charity and your love of amusements, especially upsetting the apple cart," the Duchess commented, although her words seemed hardly appropriate for the ears of either of the three girls.
"There's some ratafia over here," Lady Emmeline said, "won't you come with me and quench your thirst? It must've been awfully hot where you were waiting." She gestured for them to follow her, giving a most inviting smile, and they did. At the far side of the room there was a table laid out with some small tidbits and refreshments, something Elizabeth was most glad for, and surprised. "I think it deadly unfair that all are not given such a welcome to the Palace. So, you are from Hertfordshire? I've not been, do you miss it?"
They sipped at their ratafia, extra cautious not to spill a single drop on their gowns. Jane was quiet in that moment, and Lizzy felt like she needed to speak out so that her sister felt some more confidence at where they were.
"Oh, very much, but the excitement of London, and our presentation, we are so happy for that. Our aunt and uncle have been kind enough to speak well of us to Lady Bowes," she replied.
"The lady is known for her peculiar turns of mind, although it does speak well of her that she is so charitable," Emmeline said, and while her words could have been cruel in a lesser woman's mouth, in hers, they were all kindness with no malice tucked into them. "And while I am sure many will tell you how lucky you are to have her patronage, I know her to be quite lonely, and I am sure your company is bringing her much joy." Her eyes sparkled. "It is said that a widow with a large fortune and no-one to spend it on is in want of a ward, and it seems she has found the two of you. Do either of you play the pianoforte? I am dreadful at it, or so my master tells me, but I do sing quite well, so if you are game for it, perhaps we might have a duet?"
"I am well enough at it, although Elizabeth far surpasses me," Jane said, speaking up for the first time in their small tete-a-tete. Lizzy gave her sister a smile at the compliment.
"And our younger sister Mary surpasses all of us combined, for the pianoforte is her first and perhaps only love, but I have a fair hand at it. I would be charmed to accompany you, your ladyship-"
"Please, do not, for if we are to be at duets, we might as well address each other as close friends do. I am Emmeline to you, and you are Elizabeth and Jane to myself," Emmeline said quickly, with a furtive glance around. "You'll find even at the highest levels, there are all sorts of girls with daggers, glass, metal, ivory, fashioned to cut to the heart. It is not often that I am privileged to meet esteemed young ladies who are kind and welcoming."
What a thought, Lizzy felt, that a young woman of such high birth and position yearned for friends! But there was an earnestness in Emmeline's gaze that she could not deny, and the young lady was being kind enough, even if her words were strange.
"Of course, I would be pleased to play with you," she agreed, and Emmeline's smile was warm and inviting, and Jane smiled too.
"I would be happy to watch," Jane said.
"Then you both must come to our house, this week, to begin to practice with one another. Jane, you are most welcome to play as well-"
"Making plans, my dear one?" The Duchess approached them, Lady Bowes at her side, the two older women seemingly pleased at how fast the three were getting on.
"Miss Elizabeth has agreed to a duet with me, on the pianoforte, and her sister agrees that it would be most delightful. Would it be much trouble if they came to visit this week and we practiced in the music room?" Emmeline asked, and smiled brightly at her mother.
It was in that moment that Lizzy saw the eagerness of youth, and was reminded suddenly of Kitty so starkly that it bit at her right below her breast-bone.
Emmeline couldn't be more than seventeen, likely closer to sixteen, and already being presented, ready to be out in society? No wonder she struggled to make friends, as most of the other young ladies were closer to twenty.
"Not at all, if Lady Bowes approves, we would be delighted," the Duchess replied.
"Of course, and the company would be most welcome, and perhaps Jane and Emmeline might enjoy their own duet or two?" Lady Bowes asked, and Jane flushed slightly, demurring.
"I would be happy to play for both of them," Lizzy offered, and all seemed satisfied at that idea, before there was noise behind them, and a set of doors opened up.
"Oh, it's time, how is my hair?" A girl nearby asked, looking to her mother, or perhaps it was her aunt.
The faint call of a title echoed back to them, and Lady Bowes gave the two Bennets a reassuring smile.
"You will be the last of this group," she said softly, "so do not gulp your ratafia. Settle your nerves, all will be well, I can promise you that."
One by one the girls filtered out of the room, Emmeline going in the first few with a little wave to them before she left at her mother's arm.
Lizzy felt the need to reach for her sister's hand and grasp it tight.
"Do not worry," Lady Bowes whispered, "all will be well. And you did so well in talking with Emmeline. See, a true friend, and meeting her right here in the palace. She is young enough, perhaps a touch too young, but you're used to that, with all the sisters I've heard you have. And her grace has despaired Emmeline ever coming out of her shell... she will do well to meet two sensible country sisters, and gain some confidence and true understanding of the world in the both of you."
Jane's cheeks flushed with pride at such a compliment, and Lizzy could not help but smile.
"We will endeavor to give her the best education possible," she said, and Lady Bowes smiled, before the door opened again.
"Miss Jane Bennet, presented by the Dowager Marchioness of Ashford," the words reached them, and Lady Bowes glanced at Lizzy.
"I will return for you in a moment, my dear," she promised to Lizzy.
"Good luck, sister," Lizzy said to Jane, and watched her closest friend and confidant walk toward the doorway and through it, Lady Bowes with her.
And then, Lizzy was alone, all excepting a gaggle of maids, and a dour-faced older woman of many years who appeared there as some sort of chaperone, sitting in one corner.
She breathed, softly, trying to pass the moments, listening intently to any noises from the presentation room.
Was that the faint sound of gasps of astonishment? Would Jane impress them, not with her lowly birth, but her elegance and beauty?
She would impress, for it took more than a title to make a girl fetching.
A door to the left opened, and to Lizzy's relief, the Dowager appeared.
"She did her family, you, and myself, proud," she murmured, "now come, Elizabeth, it is time."
Lizzy's stomach dropped and she walked toward the great doors, as they opened up, and this time the words seemed not to echo, but to ring in her ears.
"Miss Elizabeth Bennet, presented by-"
All sound muted, although she saw the man's mouth move, and felt the words as if they struck her.
In front of her a carpet stretched out, leading toward their Queen where she sat on a dais, the room thronged on either side with courtiers and other high-born onlookers.
All eyes were on her.
The Dowager faded away from her awareness, although surely that lady was beside her.
She focused on the queen, the older woman, her grey hair elegantly coiffed, wearing a dress of a green so dark as to be black, trimmed in diamonds and pearls.
Elizabeth kept her focus on the queen as she approached that dais, and did not let her eyes flit to the side, although she felt the pressure, the weight of so many eyes.
Her head remained held high, her shoulders straight, her chin level, and as the queen's face became clear to her, Lizzy felt the shock of being so close to her, this storeyed matriach, England's queen.
Lizzy stopped at the pre-determined place and never had been so long a moment in her life as when she paused there, her breath catching in her throat.
And then she curtseyed, as deep as she ever had, bowing her head. She stayed there, scarcely breathing, and that's when she heard it.
The soft murmurs around her, hissed whispers, of astonishment, of attention...
"Why, she's lovely," someone said, so quiet as to not reach the queen up on her dais.
But Lizzy heard, and she had never felt so seen in all her life.
She waited a beat and rose slowly, before shifting to the side, so as not to turn her back on the queen, moving away. And at that moment, she risked a glance upward, at their monarch.
And what she saw struck her to her core.
For at the corner of the queen's lips, curved the barest hint of a very pleased smile.
Excited to say that I am now posting a new chapter of this story every Thursday! You remain, as always, some of the best readers that I have been lucky to know in my whole life.
- Nora
I am so pleased to announce that Duty and Desire is now available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple iBooks, and more, just search for 'Nora Kipling - Duty and Desire'! You may purchase it right away or wait for a new chapter to be uploaded here every Thursday. Thank you for all your loving support.