A/N: I think Sundays are going to be my new update days. I like to have time to read my chapters aloud to the hubbs before posting, and that's when I actually have time to spend with him in the evenings.

So when I first dreamed up this series (literally, a dream) it was actually this weird crossover between Princess Tutu and One Piece. Fakir was trying really hard to keep Sanji from discovering that Ahiru was actually a duck, thinking he would try to cook her. And Mytho and Rue had devil fruit powers. - that all connected somehow to this princess with a memory memory fruit power that allowed her to remember literally every detail of everything, making her a skilled historian and fighter (she could figure out moves after seeing them once). Then there was something about Luffy eating green moss that made him glow, and the straw hats saving the princess' country, but despite her impressive power the princess was really lame and whiny, so I improved her a bit (a lot).

AAANYWAY, long story short, being able to bring ballet into this story is kind of a nod to its really strange roots.

Ch. 25 - Rehearsal

Helena could pride herself on decent negotiation skills. In the end, she talked Balanchine into paying her more than enough to cover passage through Fishman Island. And of course, this was on top of the free room and board. All for just the one show!

Helena wasn't used to having to budget on a small scale, but assured herself that if she could run an economy, she could care for herself and her daughter. Balanchine gave her an advance, which she used to buy herself and Kuina some decent clothes. It came as a relief to see her daughter in a dress again. She limited herself to a few button up shirts and a pair of black pencil-legged pants (-a true struggle to find in her size, given her height). She even splurged and got herself and Kuina some bubble hats, since they seemed to be all the rage here.

Her first day of rehearsal she realized she'd made a mistake. Her attire, while sharp and professional, had not been made to move. These were not her custom-made clothing from back home – the kind of thing designed to look clean and crisp, but discretely made of stretch fabric in case she needed to draw her swords.

"Well, don't you clean up nicely, nya?" Balanchine said to her as she eyed the dancers, frowning at their more comfortable looking attire. "You might find your Amazon clothing more suited to movement though."

Helena brushed off her faux pas, "I wanted to look professional for my first day on the job," she lied, "The lady at the clothing store said this is the kind of thing normal people wear to work."

"Normal people, but not choreographers," the man informed her. Then she noticed that even his cats were dressed in leotards and leg warmers, stretching with the dancers. She felt even more out of place. "Perhaps we can find you a leotard and tights. But for now, let me introduce you to the dancers. Everyone, this is Yelene, and her sweet little daughter Kina!"

Helena figured she should keep a name that Kuina knew to answer to. All that time on Amazon Lily trying to get the Kuja to refer to Kuina by her proper name, and now Helena was using the very name they had butchered! The world could be so strange and ironic sometimes.

"Yelene here will be helping us spruce up our choreography a bit before show time, nya!" Balanchine went on. "She has been to Ilium and has a good deal of knowledge about the culture and dance there."

"But the show opens in a week!" someone cried in dismay.

"Don't worry," Helena assured the cast, who had started to murmur to one another in obvious apprehension. "I'm sure the changes will be minor at best. Balanchine-San has said I can watch your dress rehearsal today to get an idea of what I have to work with. After lunch we will begin changes."

"If you're worried, make sure to dazzle her so much that she won't want to adjust a thing, nya-ha!" Balanchine chuckled. He clapped his hands and nodded to the maestro, "Well what are we waiting for? Let us begin!"

Helena had expected some liberties to be taken, but this interpretation of her life made her chuff a few times. While Kuina amused herself by running up and down the aisles of the theater with her fox plush in tow, Helena watched as the dancers made a complete mess of the story of Ilium's fall.

For starters, they'd turned Hector into a comedic role. The dancer playing him couldn't be more than 5 feet tall, though he had thighs like barrels. He pranced about holding tree branches, smacking people with them as he ineptly ordered his troops around.

In fact, all her proud, warlike Iliads were portrayed as comically inept religious zealots at best. Helena could only sigh as the newspaper's description of them translated to the stage. They bumbled about under their inept leader, easily falling prey to the marines they fought.

An old, stoop-necked man played her father, reminding her of how he'd once looked before he'd been healed by the Mask of Apollo. He didn't dance much, though he was clearly a dance veteran by his grace alone. He glided across the stage as though on wheels, and seemed to be advising the dancer playing herself not to continue in defiance against the World Government.

Well, that part at least was accurate.

Her defiance focused solely around the fact that she had refused to marry a World Noble though. Instead they had her madly in love with a Navy Soldier, who betrayed her to Akainu.

Eventually the ensemble portrayed a great battle, that included an amusing if terrible dance fight between the Admiral and Hector. Naturally Hector kept smacking Akainu with branches until the Admiral raised an arm and pretended to blast him. (She was told this would later be accompanied with a red lighting effect.) Hector then disappeared into a trap door, which they said would be accompanied by a smoke screen.

The Helena character eventually danced a sad solo, depicting how she mourned the loss of her country, then stabbed herself with one of her swords. The play ended with her Navy lover, repentant of his betrayal and weeping for her loss, trying to fight Akainu but ultimately succumbing to his power.

When Balanchine asked her opinion over all, she tried to remain diplomatic:

"It's certainly…creative," she said. Machovsky had accompanied the entire show on his piano, but from what Helena understood, the pit orchestra would join them the following day. "I do love the music."

The maestro grinned smugly at her, "Of course you do," he insisted. "It's mine."

"Yes, you incorporated traditional Iliad tunes very well into the classical pieces. I liked it very much."

One of said tunes included the Helena the Heretic song that her people had plagued her with prior to Zoro's return. It had also included her wedding song, which had brought her close to tears despite herself.

"Naturally. The great Soul King brought me some of these tunes when he stopped here at the end of his tour," Mochavsky went on. "He traveled through Ilium once, and memorized many of their tunes! When I told him what we were working on, he was more than willing to share!"

"Yes, yes, the music is wonderful, nya," the choreographer cut in, "But what of the dancing? You called it creative, but by your tone I believe you meant something less complimentary."

Helena sighed. "Well, putting the choreography aside for a moment, the liberties you took on the story. Why have the queen in love with a Navy Officer? She was in love with and married to a pirate! If you ask me, that's far.."

"Far more romantic, nya!" Balanchine cried. "Good gracious! If only I had known!"

"Where did the idea of Navy lover come from anyway?" Helena asked, raising a brow. It smacked of Troy a bit, but he'd only been in the Navy temporarily after all. "And wasn't she married long before Ilium's fall?"

"We had to fill in the blanks based on what was announced in the papers. I know the Sun Queen was married a few years back, but honestly, no one wants to hear a story about a married woman."

Helena snorted, but Balanchine didn't seem to notice. He went on:

"Giving her a marine lover brought in the star-crossed element, nya."

"It did at that," Helena agreed with a chuckle.

"But a pirate? That's genius. Misha come here!" he clapped his hands, and the dancer playing Helena's love interest approached. "We're changing your role, nya! You are now a pirate."

"Sir, in this amount of time…?"

"It is to make the role truer to life! Surely you wish to portray truth on the stage, nya?"

"I wish to portray a well-rehearsed role!"

Helena felt sorry for the poor man. Perhaps she shouldn't have said anything. Balanchine didn't seem to care about Misha's trepidation in the slightest. Completely ignoring him, the choreographer rounded on Helena:

"Tell me, Yelene. What do you know about this pirate that the queen married? Why wasn't it reported in the papers, nya?"

"That last question I couldn't answer for sure. Probably because the World Government doesn't like pirates," Helena ventured cautiously. "She was married to Roronoa Zoro though. The swordsman of the Straw Hats."

That was a well-known fact in Ilium. She could feel safe mentioning it at least:

"The one from the Worst Generation who fights with three swords?" Balanchine asked, clapping his hands in delight. "How does one fight with three swords exactly, nya? Does he fight with them in his feet like the Queen is known for having done?"

Helena tapped her teeth, "He carries one in each hand and one in his mouth," she said, quickly amending, "At least, that's what I've heard. He won her hand by defeating her in a duel."

Helena trailed off as Balanchine's eyes grew wide with excitement.

"Nya nya? Won her hand defeating her in a duel? But of course he must have! She is known for having bartered her hand in a sword match!" he closed her hands in both of his, "As assistant choreographer, you must help me make a number depicting this duel! Do you know anything of fencing? Wait, of course you do. You carry rapier."

To avoid detection, Helena had decided to leave her sea stone dagger and her mother's broken but distinctive sword with Rayleigh and Shakky. She still had her remaining gloom isle swords. It didn't seem unreasonable for an Amazon to carry a pair of swords, right? She also had her snake blades, however. She had Hancock to thank for how easily the blades could be disguised.

"It happened several years before the story of the ballet takes place," Helena said in response to Balanchine's suggestion. She couldn't help but notice the utter fear in poor Misha's expressive face. "Perhaps we should just stick to the choreography already in place, with just a few minor adjustments…"

"Time is fluid in a ballet! Who cares about chronology" Balanchine cried, clapping his hands.

"…what was that you said about keeping things true to life?" Misha muttered, dark brows furrowed beneath a mop of fluffy black hair.

The cat-like choreographer let out a screech and rounded on his principle danseur. "NYA! You and Marie will learn a duel pas de deux early tomorrow morning before regular rehearsal starts. Yelene will choreograph it and teach it under my supervision. Got it?"

Misha sighed. "Yes sir. I'll let Marie know."

Helena watched him go, blinking her russet eyes in surprise. Just what kind of mess had she just made of this show? Balanchine didn't allow her to ruminate for long:

"Come! I know you have thoughts on the rest of the choreography. Let us discuss changes during the dancers' lunch break!"

Just about every dancer in the cast hated her. Helena was absolutely sure of it. She couldn't exactly blame them. Every time she attempted to make a suggestion, Balanchine blew it completely out of proportion. By the end of the day they had an entirely different show from when they started.

It didn't help that she needed to take frequent bathroom breaks. The dancers all probably thought she was just copping out when things got rough. She tried to make it seem like Kuina was the one who needed to frequent the restroom, but the loudmouthed toddler blew her cover.

It also didn't help having said toddler around. Oh sure, she was cute, but Hancock's influence had made her completely unruly. As Helena tried to work, she couldn't do anything to reign her in. Everyone seemed too polite to say anything about it, but the professional in her was mortified.

With all the changes in the script, even the composer was ready to throw a fit:

"My orchestra won't be able to keep up with all of this!" Machovsky shrieked. He'd stormed off in a fit of rage by the end of the evening, each arm carrying a bundle of sheet music marked up in red ink corrections. "We will not be joining your technical rehearsals until Wednesday evening at the soonest. And you won't see me tomorrow. I'm sorry! I need to call an emergency rehearsal to get the orchestra caught up. No more changes while I'm gone or I quit!"

"So wait, we're rehearsing tomorrow without a pianist?" Misha asked, "The story's changed. The choreography's changed, and we have no music to rehearse to?

"Yelene will sing the tunes for you. She knows them well," Balanchine insisted, shooting her a sly grin.

Helena sighed. He had caught her humming along to the music. Hopefully he could still write it off as her simply having spent a little time in Ilium, not that she actually hailed from there.

"I'll…do my best," she attempted. She wasn't exactly a skilled singer, and Machovsky's variations were a bit different from the folk music she was used to. They weren't meant to be sung exactly, they were meant to be danced to.

"Twila, Ginger, and Fred will help," Balanchine assured her.

Twila, Ginger, and Fred were the purple, orange, and calico cats, respectively. Apparently, Mr. Balanchine had taught them to dance, and now they served as his assistants. They could walk on two legs when they wanted to, and strike just about every ballet pose in the books. They were quick to smack dancers with their tails when one had any body part even slightly out of place. She didn't doubt that they could yowl out the music with impressive, if not slightly ear-wrenching, skill.

"Mr. Balanchine, I really think we should let the dancers off now," Helena pointed out, "They're already two hours past their scheduled time."

"This is tech week! Going overtime is expected!" Balanchine insisted. To Helena's surprised, the other dancers kind of shrugged in agreement at this pronouncement. "We will take a short break for dinner, then we start again from the top."

Helena sighed, then went to collect Kuina from where she'd started playing in a bunch of props. She saved Kuina from skewering herself with a wooden sword, and turned to see the prima ballerina standing behind her. Marie Pavlova. She had a kind face with beautiful, dark eyes, raven hair, and porcelain white skin. Petite but curvy, she looked nothing like Helena, but her skill made it obvious why she was chosen for the part.

"Please don't worry so much, Miss," Marie said. "Mr. Balanchine is always like this during tech week. This isn't the first show he's changed at the last moment, and it won't be the last."

Helena smiled in genuine relief. "I was beginning to think you all hated me."

Misha came to join the conversation. "Nah, we know it's not your fault. Balanchine is always like this," he said, wiping sweat from his brow on a handy wristband. "Honestly, I think we're all just grateful for how much you managed to reign him in. He says you're a warrior, not a dancer. How do you know so much about this kind of thing?"

Helena shrugged, not sure how much she could safely reveal about herself. She went with what she felt was a safe answer, "I have been to Ilium and learned their cultural dances, and I have watched what you do. Dancing and fighting are not all that different in some cultures. I've turned…rather, I've seen a fighting kata turned into a dance before, and vice versa."

"You seem like an interesting person, Ms. Yelene," Misha said. "Come! Enjoy dinner with us. You've more than earned a break! Naturally you should bring your daughter too, right princess?" He addressed this last bit to Kuina, and Helena did a double take before realizing he'd called her that out of affection, not because he knew what she was.

Helena grinned to hide the ball of nerves forming in her stomach. What if they asked too many questions? But she had no other choice, "I'd be delighted," she said.

Hoping to win over their affection further, and knowing she had a sizeable amount of her stipend at hand, Helena treated the small group of dancers who followed Misha and Marie to a simple dinner at the restaurant across the street. It wasn't anything fancy, just soups and sandwiches, but this seemed to win over some of the cast who still didn't like her after Balanchine's changes.

She herself only ordered some butterless toast. It seemed to be all she could keep down these days. Kuina enjoyed pulling apart her sandwich and eating each bit separately. She especially liked anything green, including the lettuce and pickles.

Helena managed to deflect the dancers' interest in her by asking them questions about themselves. It soon came out that Marie had aspirations beyond the Archipelago.

"Marie is hoping to win sponsorship to travel," Misha said. "If you can impress a Celestial Dragon, they'll often pay the way of dancers to go to other Opera houses to learn from other masters. It's a great honor."

Marie flushed a bit. "It's been my dream since I put on my first pair of ballet slippers," she admitted. "Sponsorship like that is rare, and only the most skilled dancers are chosen."

Helena forced a smile at mention of the World Nobles. What did those bubble heads honestly know of art, anyway? It infuriated her that such deplorable people acted as patrons of the arts; that her newfound friend's dream hung on their generosity.

"I'd be hard pressed to believe they'll pass you up this time," Marie's understudy pointed out. She was an expressive red head by the name of Isadora Graham. Sometimes she took liberties with the choreography. Balanchine was always reigning her in. "That scene where you dance on the tips of swords is sure to get you noticed this time."

"That's not skill," Marie pointed out, flushing. "I'm hooked up to a harness and fly system."

The scene she spoke of had impressed Helena until they'd shown her how it was done. For a moment she thought the dancer had strength to rival her own. It still required a good deal of precision. Even with the fly system, it was like Marie was dancing on very thin stilts.

"Say what you want," Isadora insisted, "I've been working extra hard to have your part down pat, just to be safe. I bet you anything they'll snap you up opening night."

"Provided we can get all this new material down before then," Misha put in. "I swear that man is trying to kill us."

The dancers all laughed good-naturedly. Helena found herself enjoying their company more and more.

"Would you like my cookie, little one?" Marie asked, offering it Kuina. "I'm on a diet, so..."

Helena grabbed the cookie in question before Kuina could get to it. "So is she!" she exclaimed in dismay.

Marie blinked at her, along with the other dancers. "At this age?"

"Let's just say she was spoiled with way too much sugar recently," Helena replied, "When her health is recovered, I'll consider letting her have sweets again."

Kuina let out a loud wail, throwing herself out of her booster chair and onto the floor. She hurt herself in the process, making the tantrum that much worse. Helena ignored her.

"She seems like a handful," Isadora ventured. "Would you like our help with her?"

"I am perfectly capable of looking after her," Helena responded stiffly. "Though I apologize for the scene she is causing. She knows better."

"I admire your resolve," Misha said. "You're sure she's not hurt?"

"Don't look at her," Helena advised. "She just wants attention."

Kuina's fussing soon slowed. She even let out a giggle. Despite Helena's instructions, Misha glanced under the table. He let out a sudden yelp, and then grabbed Kuina and held her into the air.

Helena went for a sword, her instinct to defend her child extending even to her newfound friend. "Hands off!" she started to say, but then then Misha cried:

"SNAKE!"

All the dancers soon stood on the table, crying, "What? Where?"

"It was trying to get to Kina!" he cried, cradling the child, who kicked and bit at him fiercely.

"Put down!" she screamed. "Want Yady! Want Yady!"

"I guess she's an Amazon through and through if she doesn't trust men," Misha observed, making to hand her to Marie instead, but Helena sighed.

"No," she replied, "Lady is the name of her pet snake. You can put her down now, Misha. On the floor. Yes, the rest of you are safe too."

She had turned her sword to underneath the table, only to find Lady looking up at her with reptilian apathy.

"I thought I told you to stay with Hancock," Helena growled at her. Lady let out a hiss, then went to wrap Kuina in a frightening looking embrace.

"Not too hard, Lady," Helena warned, and the snake hissed a raspberry at her.

"Everyone, this is Lady. She is a snake of Amazon Lily, and was gifted my daughter by the Snake Princess herself. She is not venomous, but I still suggest not making her mad."

"You trust her with your daughter?" Isadora shrieked, still as far away from the snake as she could get atop the table, which meant climbing on Misha's shoulders.

The snake had by now loosened her coils around Kuina, nudging the child playfully with her snout.

"That remains to be seen," Helena said flatly. In all honesty, she had seen enough of their interaction to know that Lady would never intentionally hurt Kuina, but she made the comment purely out of spite. "Lady, if you are going to stay, you're going to need to make yourself useful."

The snakes of Maiden Isle had more than average intelligence. It came as no surprise to Helena that Lady turned to eye her inquisitively in response to her words:

"I am trying to work to provide for Kina and myself. Your job is to watch after her while I do. Can you do this?"

The snake nodded, and the dancers all let out a collective gasp, then applauded. "That's some amazing training!" Marie cried, "You taught her to nod like that?"

Lady let out an unamused hiss in Marie's direction, making the dancer take a step back:

"No," Helena replied. "She is not trained. She is intelligent, if lacking in manners."

Lady turned to glare at Helena this time. Well, snakes didn't have terribly expressive faces, but Helena got the idea.

"So Lady, do we have an accord?"

Lady nodded again.

"Very good," Helena said. "Oh, one more thing…"

The snake slid up to the table, grabbing the cookie Helena had taken away from Kuina earlier. Helena snatched it right out of the snake's fangs:

"You are not allowed to spoil her!"

Kuina pouted. "Meanie Mommy."

Helena nodded, "Meanie Mommy," she agreed.

Helena collapsed into bed that night, too exhausted to undress, though she'd gone through the effort of getting Kuina ready for bed. Still in the leotard, tights, and sweat pants she'd been leant by Marie (the tights were footless. They and the pants came to mid-calf on the tall warrior), Helena stared at the ceiling with Kuina cradled in her arms.

"Want Hammock," Kuina informed her crossly, clutching Foxy to her.

"Well, I want you," Helena replied.

"Want Yady," Kuina tried again.

"The snake sleeps on the floor," Helena insisted.

She'd felt herself generous for sacrificing a pillow for the viper. Lady poked a head up hopefully, but then lay it back down at a glare from Helena.

"I hate you," Kuina said.

Helena felt a stab at these words. "That's fine," she said as though it hadn't hurt. Kuina hadn't known the word hate before Hancock. That she used it at all felt like a shock, but to have it directed at her really stung. "Would you like a bedtime story?"

Kuina perked up at this. "Story about Papa?"

Helena smiled. "Yes. Any requests?"

"Papa fight bad guys!"

Well, that didn't really narrow it down. "Ok, he told me this one when we got to go on vacation with him. Do you remember how fun that was?" Kuina nodded and Helena smiled. "He told me that on this very same archipelago, he and his captain helped rescue a mermaid!"

"A mermaid?" Kuina asked, eyes wide.

"That's right! A real mermaid! – a bad, bad man wanted to steal her from her family forever, so do you know what your Papa's captain did?"

Kuina grinned. "He punch him!"

Helena laughed. "Yes! Right in the face! – Did Papa tell you this story too?"

"Yuffy yike to punch," Kuina pointed out.

"That's right," Helena said. "Would you like to meet Captain Luffy?"

Kuina nodded emphatically. "We go see Papa on ship?"

"That's right," Helena said. "We're going to go find your Papa, and you will get to stay with him."

"Rewwy?"

"Really," Helena said. "I will take you there. I promise."

"Ok," Kuina said, snuggling into her mother. "I no hate you."

"I'd prefer you say, I love you," Helena attempted.

"I no hate you," Kuina repeated.

Helena sighed. "I love you too," she said, and soon she and Kuina had drifted off to sleep.