In the final two months of the year 2006, I felt like I was living in a bizarre, adult version of my childhood summers. Each morning, I woke up in my bedroom in Charlie's house. We ate breakfast together in the familiar kitchen, him reading the newspaper and sipping his coffee while I stared out the window over my bowl of cereal. I spent most of my days in La Push, as I had for all those summers. Back then, I made the journey there each morning in a sleepy haze, Charlie carrying me from my bed to the car in my pajamas. Aunt Sarah was usually the only one awake when Charlie dropped me off before driving back to the Forks Police Station for the day, Billy already gone for the day's work and all three Black children still asleep in their small bedrooms.
My relationship with Rachel blossomed into a true friendship. We'd never quite made it there as children, the two-year age gap far too wide for either of us to bother.
She was gone more often than not, finishing her final year at the University of Washington, but she came home on whatever weekends were available. Paul was mostly there with her, playing househusband, according to Jacob. I could tell Billy wasn't entirely pleased with the arrangement, but tolerated it because Paul was the one driving her home all the time. Quil and Claire were the same, I rarely saw one of them without the other. Sometimes I worried that Rachel and Billy only saw me as a replacement for Rebecca, who called even less often now than she had a year ago. But then Billy called me 'honey' like he always had for his daughters, and Rachel asked for my opinions when she poured over bridal magazines, and the worries fell away like leaves on the breeze.
When Angela came home for Thanksgiving Break, I kept my promise to myself and made an effort to see her. She invited me over to her house, chaotic and welcoming as ever with her two younger brothers out of school for the holiday. In her bedroom, she told me all about college and life away from home. When she spoke about her wonderful relationship with Ben, I felt only happiness for her, and excitement to talk about Jacob. As I left her house, Angela's mother recruited me as a babysitter. I gratefully accepted whenever they called, since Harry was still paying me in coffee and Sue's homemade muffins for the time I spent in the office of his garage.
On December 22, Charlie drove Jacob and me to the airport in Port Angeles. This was the first Christmas I would spend with Renee, excluding the first three of my life, before she'd left Charlie.
Jacob sat on the aisle seat of the plane, constantly struggling to squeeze his massive body into the tiny space.
"We're almost there," I told him.
"Hmm." He shifted grumpily.
"If you're sore, I'm sure Renee will be happy to lead you through some yoga exercises."
"Lord, haven't I suffered enough?" he groaned, looking up at the ceiling of the plane's cabin.
I chuckled, and a grin cracked his pouty expression. His hand settled on my knee and I rested my head against his shoulder, returning to my book. My recent explorations in the world of non-fiction had led me on several deep dives into all forms of life in the Olympic Peninsula. From plants to animals - mammals, birds, insects, and fish - then the invisible world of microbial life, fungus, and bacteria. Harry loaned me his books on the histories of the region's indigenous communities. I read about the first American settlers in the area, the rise and fall of the timber industry, and the mapping of the Olympic Mountains, one of the last unexplored wildernesses in the contiguous United States.
About a month ago, my focus had shifted to the ocean. It started when I was sitting on the sand at First Beach, watching Jacob and Embry paddling into the frigid water on their surfboards, and a little seal had popped its head above the surface. The fluid movements of its body fascinated me as it swam back and forth between the waves. Now, somehow, I was quickly becoming an expert on the lifecycle of salmon, much to Charlie's amusement.
Phil drove Renee to the airport in Jacksonville to collect us. I asked my mother to share the backseat with me, allowing Jacob to stretch out in the passenger's seat. The warmth of Florida, even in December, shocked me when we first stepped outside. I shed my jacket immediately, wondering how I ever preferred extreme heat. Renee babbled the entire drive to their house about her newest hobby, watercolors, which was not actually new, because she'd had a four-month phase when I was in fifth grade.
Phil and Renee lived a half hour outside of the city, in a small, wealthy suburb right on the beach. The houses were painted in pastel colors, all of them mounted on enormous columns that held the living areas fifteen feet off the ground. The interior was all seashell decorations and wicker furniture. The backyard was an expanse of tall grass and rushes, swaying in the salty sea breeze. Their neighborhood had a boardwalk leading to the beach, and each house had a little path carved through the plants growing from the sand.
The first evening, Renee and I walked along the beach, our bare feet buried in the sand and our shadows long as the sun set over the watery horizon.
"Bellaaaa," Renee whined, threading her arm through mine. "If you came to college here, you could go to the beach every day."
I bumped my hip against hers. "You know we have beaches in Washington, right? Jake and I go all the time."
"Uck," she shivered, "those aren't real beaches. Just a gazillion rocks and water too cold to swim in."
"I've never gotten a sunburn at First Beach."
"Hmmm."
"I do enjoy living in Forks, Mom," I confessed, "life there is a bit slow, but I think I'm learning to appreciate that."
"You're just like Charlie," she sighed, "but I understand if that's what makes you happy."
It was obvious she didn't understand. My mother lived like a hummingbird, constantly in motion chasing the next thing that intrigued her. I'd never been quick enough to keep up with her. Returning to Forks had always felt like I was finally resting after a sprint.
"I was so worried about you, Bella," she continued.
Guilt twisted in my stomach. Renee wasn't built for worrying, that had always been my job. "I'm sorry, about…all of that."
"You wouldn't come home with me, even though you were so miserable. And Charlie kept calling me, saying you were having nightmares and not eating and never seeing your friends. He kept asking for my advice, as if I had any idea how to deal with something like that, then he got mad when I didn't know." Her arm squeezed around mine a bit tighter. I swallowed around the lump in my throat. "It was all just so unlike you. You were always so easy as a kid, Charlie and I were completely lost trying to help you."
"I know." My voice shook. I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry you were so worried."
Renee shook out her hair, obviously pacified by my apology. "Well, I'm just so glad you're better now."
"Yea, mom. I feel much better these days." It was true, which shocked the guilt right out of my system.
"Anyway, while you're here, I want to take you to all my favorite places. The Jacksonville Botanical Gardens just opened and it's so lovely. They have huge lakes and a swamp imitation area, the first time we went I saw an alligator in the water!" She exclaimed, "It swam right up to where I was standing on the dock, I think it wanted to be in my picture."
"Sounds like fun?" I questioned.
"Do you remember that time you did spring break camp at the Gardens in Phoenix?" She barrelled forward.
"Yea." The Desert Botanical Gardens was an enormous expanse showcasing every variety of desert plant known to man. Hills of brown earth covered in cacti taller than a person. Red stone mountains in the distance painting the perfect backdrop for the sun on the spiky palm tree bodies of the century-old Joshua Trees. I'd spent the week of school spring break in third grade there, searching for Tarantulas in the rock formations and cataloging all the ways the plants prepared for the incoming summer heat. The experience was the beginning of my slowly falling in love with the landscape of Arizona, despite its drastic difference from the comfort of northwest Washington.
"Really!?" Renee tittered excitedly, "I loved it there, but this one is beautiful too. And there's an independent bookshop I love right nearby. They have a coffee shop attached, and all the baristas know how to do latte foam art. I told Phil to get me a machine for Christmas, so I can recreate them. But I'll take you to look at the books, and you can pick out your gifts. I'm never quite sure what you want, so it's just easier that way, don't you think?"
"Sure, I can do that."
"Great!" She went quiet for all of ten seconds, then gasped, "Oh my god, look!"
Her arm wrenched out of mine and she bent to grab something from the sand. It was a perfectly shaped pink seashell, its small ridges caught the light of the setting sun, turning the surface iridescent. Renee took a few steps towards the water, where there were already tiny crabs dashing out of their holes. She waited for the waves to break around her feet, leaning over to wash the sand from her shell. I watched her delicately turn it back and forth in the light, before putting it in the pocket of her jacket.
We followed our own footprints back through the sand to the boardwalk. The hose to rinse off our feet before putting on our shoes spit out cold water, and both of us squealed when it ran over our calves.
When we returned to the house, Phil and Jacob were outside, standing over his enormous grill and monitoring the hamburger patties as they cooked. During dinner, Phil and I mostly remained quiet while Jacob and Renee conversed like old friends. Eventually, it shifted to recollections of the adventures she'd brought me along for throughout my childhood. The magic shows we'd seen in Las Vegas, National Parks in Utah, dozens of Route 66 roadside attractions we'd visited on random weekends when nothing in town interested her enough. She recounted them one after another, and I felt like I was descending into a vortex of neon lights. Just the vague memories of it left me feeling utterly exhausted.
The guest bedroom was decorated in perfect seaside decor, nothing like the chaotic collection of antiques and thrifted furniture at the now-uninhabited house in Phoenix. Renee allowed Jacob and I to share the queen-sized bed, as long as we promised to tell Charlie that Jacob had slept on the couch. The curtains blocked out all light from outside, but we opened the window, protected from the constant influx of bugs by the mesh screen. Jacob swore he heard the waves crashing against the shore in the distance, but my human ears only noticed the rustle of the wind through the palm trees right outside.
Eventually, we did end up at the Botanical Gardens. For better or worse, there were no alligator sightings. But the massive Live Oak trees enchanted me, their enormous branches spreading horizontally in every direction. They felt as strong as a house above us. Jacob and I sat on a bench and stared up into the canopy, watching the draping Spanish Moss sway in the breeze like ghosts.
"It's like a southern Hoh Rainforest," Jacob observed. I nodded in agreement, then set my head on his shoulder. The Florida December air was barely low enough to be called chilly, let alone cold, but Jacob's warmth against my body still felt wonderful.
Afterward, I walked around the bookshop and selected my next few non-fiction books. There was nothing about the Olympic Peninsula, obviously, so I chose a history on the touristic reconstruction of Jacksonville and St. Augustine after the devastation of the Civil War and Chef Paul Prudhomme's Louisiana Kitchen for new recipes, all of which threatened to give Charlie a stomach ulcer, judging by the quantities of cayenne pepper.
"Your mom is fun," Jacob whispered into the still air on our final night.
I couldn't help but smile. Whatever else, Renee was always fun. "Yea, she is."
"She likes me, Phil does too," he informed me.
"Oh, really? What makes you say that?"
"She told me, said I was much better for you than Edward."
My breath stuttered. Even if the cavern in my chest felt nearly healed, the name still felt like a punch to the gut.
"Sorry," he muttered.
"No, it's okay." I recovered. I shifted until I could see the shadowy outline of his face right in front of me. "I'm okay, you made me okay. And you're here with me, so everything is good."
"Hell yes," I heard the smile in his voice. I couldn't help the grin that came over my lips. He kissed me deeply, his arm pulling me closer as his hand threaded into my hair. "I'm right here, always."
"I love you," I said.
A far away part of my mind was proud of myself, because this was the first time I'd said it without him saying it to me first.
Jacob's lips moved to my cheek, then my throat. "I love you, Bella."
As he moved his body against mine, I clung to Jacob's muscular shoulders. His hand moved from the back of my knee to my hip, then to my chest. He cupped one of my breasts and a second later his tongue circled my nipple. I shuddered and arched into him. The heat of his body made every touch feel so intense. By the time he grunted his release, I was sweating all over the sheets. Once he had fallen into a deep, snoring sleep, only a few minutes later, I went into the ensuite and ran a wet washcloth over my overheated skin until I felt clean again. I used the toilet without turning on the light, and returned to the bathroom, never once thinking to look at the tattoo on my arm.
ooOoo
We returned to Forks on the morning of December 30. Charlie picked us up from the airport in his Forks Police Department Cruiser. The sight brought embarrassing wetness to my eyes for a moment, because the ritual carried so many memories of homecoming.
Charlie, Billy, Rachel, Jacob, and I had a second Christmas at Charlie's house that evening. Rachel and I stood together in the kitchen, trying to get as close as we could to a perfect recreation of Aunt Sarah's lasagna. There was a football game on the flatscreen, which captured the men's attention for most of the day.
Charlie bashfully presented me with a new backpack, a single bow wrapped around one of the straps. "You always got the hand-me-downs, but you should have a nice one of your own. For college."
I gave Charlie some of his own flannel shirts back, with the decades-old holes repaired to the best of my ability, as developed from a book in the library and the advice of Mrs. Lerond, the elderly librarian. For Jacob, I handed him a collection of twenty homemade coupons, each for a meal of his choice, prepared by me and delivered to him at work. The kiss he gave me when I handed them over had Charlie letting out a disgruntled huff. Rachel, Jacob, and Billy gifted Charlie and I with a single DVD.
"We've been going through all of mom's home videos," Rachel explained, "I collected all the ones that have you two in them."
Charlie and I stared at the little plastic case, momentarily stunned. Luckily, something interesting happened in the game still playing on the TV, so we were spared from any unexpected emotional outbursts.
For Charlie, New Year's was another Halloween-level stressor at work. I remembered it well from the winter vacations I'd spent with him as a kid. He always left me with the Blacks in the early morning, saying 'I'll pick you up next year.' Now, he warned me to be careful on the roads and left me alone in the silent house. The prospect was undaunting. I opened the curtains in the living room and watched the shadow of the winter sun drift across the forest next to our house. The evergreen trees were still their reliable shades of emerald, now interspersed with the remaining autumn colors or the bare branches that had already shed their leaves entirely. Jacob and I had missed the snow over Christmas, but there were still gray drifts between the trees and piled at the edge of the road. Each morning, the grass crunched with frost beneath my feet.
I spent the day in the bright-colored world of Jacksonville at the turn of the 20th century. Wealthy vacationers who rode steam-engine trains all the way down from New England to spend the entire winter in seaside resorts. The movie producers of the silent era, who'd used the warm-climate town when New York was too cold, before they'd all moved out to Hollywood. In the photos, women in striped jumpsuit swimsuits stood together, the brims of their hats nearly as wide as their shoulders.
In the afternoon, I made Macaroni and Cheese, brownies, and cookies to bring to the La Push Celebrations. The sky was already black when I left the house, the slight drizzle barely enough to justify turning on my windshield wipers.
The informal celebration at La Push was being held at First Beach, much more accessible to the entire town than Second or Third Beach. There were already several towering bonfires on the sand, and what felt like hundreds of people relaxed on lawn chairs or blankets. Jacob saw my truck on the road and ran to greet me in the parking lot. The wind rising off the ocean was arctic, I pressed myself against him for a prolonged hug, soaking in the radiating heat of his body. He carried the food I'd brought with me to a series of tables, spread with everything from hot dogs ready to roast on the fire to sweet potato casserole to fried fish. Little butane canisters under the dishes kept everything warm. Jacob set up the Macaroni, humming eagerly.
"Hey, Bella," Seth Clearwater gave me a side hug, his eyes intent on the food. He, Embry, and Quil were already holding used plates, and they descended on the fresh offerings like, well like a pack of wolves. It was a third empty before I even managed to unwrap the cookies. A warm pride spread in my stomach, and I was glad to have left half of what I'd made in the refrigerator at home.
"Oh my god," Embry said around a mouthful. He swallowed thickly and started to scoop up another bite. "Bella, this is seriously good."
"Thanks," I said.
The trio of them walked away. As I made myself my first plate, Jacob followed along and told me who had brought the dishes. At first, I thought he was pointing out which ones were good as he refilled his own plate, but quickly I realized that, according to him, everything was delicious. I filled my plate with small samples and followed him to the blanket where his friends were gathered.
Quil and Claire lounged against each other as usual, and I was eager to finish my food and mirror their position. Even with two pairs of socks, tights beneath my jeans, and a sweater beneath my coat, the beach was freezing. As I looked around, I felt a sense of recognition of the celebration. I'd tagged along to these parties for years. I saw Billy speaking with his circle of friends, a low fire glowing between them. I remembered the year when I'd spent the whole night curled against his chest, his jacket wrapped around me and his chest rumbling against my ear as he spoke. Jacob and his sisters had been occupied with their friends from school, and I'd been shivering with cold.
Jacob noticed a similar teeth-chattering sensation now, and pulled me into his lap. The cold receded from my body in seconds, like I'd stepped inside a warm building. I remained there as all traces of sunlight faded from the horizon, the fires grew and children ran around with sparklers and beach balls. Our group played cards for hours, the matches took forever because we were constantly distracted by conversation.
The fires seemed to grow as the night progressed, someone passed around glow sticks. The beach was all glowing points of color against the blackness and the shadows of laughing faces flickered in multicolored firelight. A bottle of whiskey discreetly made the rounds between the teenagers. I watched in disgust as Seth took a sip straight from the liquor bottle, then dumped some into his red solo cup of Coke. Embry, Claire, and Quil followed suit, but Jacob said he was still queasy from Halloween.
At 11 o'clock, Quil said, "Ok, everyone. Resolutions. You start, baby."
Claire hummed. "In 2007, I will actually fold and put away my clean laundry, instead of leaving it in desk chair purgatory forever."
Everyone chuckled, Quil squeezed her tighter and said he believed in her.
"I think I want to spend more time with my sister this year," Seth said. We all listened attentively. "She's had a rough time recently, and I don't want her to think I've forgotten about her."
"That's really sweet of you Seth," Claire said.
He squirmed and his cheeks went red.
"Well, I think I'll probably get married in 2007," Quil declared.
I gaped. Claire's head jerked to stare at him. "Excuse me?"
Quil shrugged.
Her eyes sparkled. "And who do you think this is happening with? Because I, for one, am not getting married until I finish college. Maybe even until I finish med school."
"Ugh," Quil rocked back and forth with her against his chest, "pleeeease, I don't know if I can wait another second."
"Keep dreaming," Claire chuckled. Quil whispered something in her ear and they both grinned.
"Ugh," Embry groaned, "In 2007, I'm taking Seth and finding some friends that aren't obsessed with their girlfriends."
I ducked my head into the collar of my coat as my face heated. Jacob shrugged his massive shoulders. "You could get a girlfriend yourself."
"Nah," Embry stared at his hands as he passed a handful of pebbles from palm to palm, "I think I like having full control of my brain."
"Well, I'm going to move out of my dad's house this year," Jacob announced, "And I'm going to call Rebecca every single day until she picks up and agrees to come home for a visit. And I'm going to start shaving at night instead of the morning because Rachel read in a magazine that it's better for your skin."
"Huh," Quil said, "who knew?"
They all breezed right over Jacob's resolution about Rebecca. I felt guilty for not realizing. Billy, Rachel, and Jacob must miss her terribly. She hadn't been home even once since she moved to Hawaii, which had already happened when I returned to Forks nearly two years ago.
I cleared my throat. "In 2007, I'm going to get a job that pays me in American dollars."
"Aww, my dad tried his best with coffee and unsolicited life advice," Seth said.
"I'm the one making the coffee!"
Jacob released me and laid back on the ground dramatically, his hand over his eyes. "How will Harry and I ever recover?"
I rubbed his chest soothingly, my face split with a grin. "There, there."
He grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips. They were warm and soft against the tips of my fingers, then he sat up and pulled me close again. The card game resumed for a few minutes until Claire's attention caught on something behind Jacob and I, back towards the parking lot.
"Oh!" She jumped to her feet. "Agnes, hey!"
Quil stared at her longingly as she jogged up the beach towards whoever had just arrived. The rest of our eyes followed too.
A few months later, I learned that Agnes had never intended to join the New Year's celebration at First Beach that night. She hadn't managed a trip home since the previous Christmas, because she'd spent all of 2006 at a prestigious linguistics program at Oxford University. Her sleep schedule was still unreliable, so she'd gone to sleep early, ignoring the holiday. But while our group was discussing her resolutions, her mother, whose poor eyesight prevented her from driving at night, had been struck with a sudden, fierce urge to go watch the fireworks with her friends down at the beach. She'd woken Agnes and begged her to drive. A few minutes later, there they were.
The shadowy figures of Claire and Agnes embraced, and then Claire began to pull her toward our blanket. The light of one of the fires briefly illuminated both of their faces.
I felt Jacob's arms stiffen, then pull away from me slowly. The lack of his body heat registered, like I'd been tossed into the frigid ocean and none of the warmth of land could find me. I looked over at him, and gasped at the expression on his face.
My throat tightened and my eyes began to sting, even before my mind registered what was happening. Claire and Agnes had only taken a few steps towards us. Jacob stumbled to his feet, still staring at them intensely. He looked like his world was realigning. His knees buckled as he struggled to take a step forward.
"Jacob," I tried to say, my voice wobbling.
He didn't seem to hear it at all. His feet shuffled in the sand, taking another unsteady step towards Agnes.
I looked away from them, back towards Embry, Seth, and Quil who were all looking at the interaction with wide eyes. A part of me had hoped to find some alternative explanation in their expressions. One that would stop the cracking in my chest, all the old fault lines separating once again.
Seth shifted onto his knees and slowly moved towards me, his arm outstretched. I looked at him and noticed the shining of tears in his mahogany eyes. "Bella…"
I stumbled to my feet, my arms instinctively wrapped around my chest, and fled the beach. None of them followed me, which I was grateful for, because there were already tears streaming down my face by the time I reached my truck. The roar of the engine turning over barely touched the rush of blood in my ears.
Loud sobs broke out of my chest as I pulled onto the road, one hand on the wheel. I need the other to hold the shattered pieces of my chest together. My heart felt like it would explode, the pain radiated through my entire body until even pressing my foot against the pedal was agony. I drove until the lights of La Push faded behind me. Somewhere on the dark stretch of road between towns, my vision blurred too much to see the road, and I stopped on the shoulder, uncaring about the tree branches scraping against the side of the truck.
I turned off the engine, but the cab was still noisy with my sobs. Eventually, I gathered enough air to let out a scream that left my ears ringing. It did nothing to stop the breaking inside of me, which felt so final and thorough that I tore open my coat and lifted my sweater to stare down at myself. I expected to see blood pouring out of a gaping wound, my ribs protruding from the skin and a mess of raw meat when my heart and lungs should be. But there was only pale, undamaged skin. The sight did not reassure me. The sobs were racking my entire body, but I managed to open the car door before I vomited.
When my stomach finished emptying itself, my body seemed to calm slightly. My heart rate slowed almost to normal, my breathing evened, my eyes ran out of tears. The lack of physical reaction left only the black hole in my chest, sending its stinging tendrils out throughout my entire nervous system.
"No search party this time," I whispered to myself. My weak, rough voice seemed thunderous in the silent truck bed, with the empty road and thick forest around me.
Charlie was at work. Jacob was distracted. Everyone else at the beach would assume I'd made it home. If they bothered to call, they wouldn't think anything of me not answering the phone. Somehow, the thought comforted me. The in-betweenness of this moment allowed me to shatter without any interference. The chasm itself held a sort of comforting familiarity, now that my body had adjusted to the pain, I could reexamine it. Somehow, despite all the love I felt for Jacob, there was no new pain. Just the return of the same agony I'd carried since the moment Edward left me in the forest. My body's initial reaction was only the shock of being abruptly deprived of pain-relief.
When I closed my eyes, there was barely any difference in the darkness. My hands unclenched from the fabric of my coat, but my arms remained wrapped around my torso. The scene of Jacob imprinting on someone else replayed behind my eyelids. My mind focused on the instant, unwavering adoration in my eyes, the same look I'd seen a thousand times on the faces of Quil, Sam, Jared, and Paul. But also in the golden eyes that my unstable human memory recalled less and less reliably. I rubbed a thumb over the point on my arm where the lion tattoo remained on my skin. Countless times, I'd watched that love and devotion pass between Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie.
And Edward.
For the first time, my mind ventured to remember our final conversation. For so long, I had assumed leaving was always his intention. How could someone so perfect love a flawed human? But he had, even in those last moments his cold demeanor hadn't managed to cover the total, undying love in his eyes when he looked at me.
One of the first things I understood about Edward and his family was their ability to lie. Yet, all this time I'd believed his words without question. But now I saw the reality of that moment. All his worst fears had been realized the second Jasper lunged for my papercut. His terror that his presence in my life would ruin my chance at real, normal humanity, either by my insistence on being changed or my death.
My mind conjured his beautiful face, as real as the cold air around me. Edward…I should have said, I know your world is dangerous, but I trust you. I love you.
In all our time together, I'd never shared that simple truth. Always too busy denying the reality of the danger we faced, because I hated how it made him pull away from me. But I'd left him alone in his fear, until it festered and poisoned him, then destroyed us. The revelation did nothing to soothe the chasm in my chest, but I wasn't afraid of it anymore. I'd lost my soulmate, as surely as Jacob had just found his. Avoiding the pain seemed meaningless at this point, so I just curled into the worn leather of the truck's seat and let my mind drift.
I thought of that look, passing between the wolves and their imprintees, the Cullens and their spouses. How long could any of them be separated? Claire and Rachel went to university in another city, but spoke on the phone daily. The Cullens went on hunting trips for a few days at a time. Had any of them ever gone a week without contact? A month, a year? I could not imagine Sam without Emily, or Esme without Carlisle. The existence of the individual seemed tied to the other. A bond just as magical as a vampire's skin glittering in the sun.
Whatever divinity or evolution or magic had made vampires and wolf shifters had made them with only half a soul, the other half found in another person. I thought of all the tiny decisions over the last century that brought Edward and I together. Carlisle in Chicago at the exact right moment, seeking a companion. Their determination to live amongst humankind. The Quileutes' agreement to the terms of the treaty that eventually allowed them to return. Charlie's grandparents' decision to leave their home and risk everything on the adventure of the American West, a journey that eventually brought them to a tiny logging settlement at the edge of the world. Renee's decision to join her friends on a road trip up the West Coast. Charlie's decision to stay behind when she left. Phil's crush on Renee, his proposal. My realization that their marriage could release me from my obligation to look after my mother forever. All the strength and will Edward had needed to resist his bloodthirst in the biology classroom.
When I tallied everything up, his decision to leave seemed…insignificant, despite all the pain it had caused. If he was feeling the same agony, how long could he really stay away?
At the edge of my subconscious, as I slipped halfway into sleep, I heard the angelic voice that usually only came with fear and adrenaline.
"Bella," he purred. The sound wrapped around me as my mind recalled all the times he'd breathed my name into my skin as we pressed our bodies close.
There was still no stereo system in my truck, therefore no clock. But I knew when the new year had finally arrived by the distant boom of fireworks. For a few minutes, they gave the forest a soft, unsteady heartbeat that finally lulled me into sleep.
Yall know things are gonna me intense if i'm writing first person lol. that was rough for Bella. I did warn you that I'm forever Team Edward. Don't worry though she'll work on herself quite a bit.
The real life Jacksonville Botanical Gardens didn't open until Nov. 2008, but they do sometimes have alligators! Also i can't remember if i said before but the salt in driftwood releases dangerous fumes when burned so driftwood fires are pretty unsafe, and you especially shouldn't cook food over them.
This is sort of the finale of 'part 1' of this fic, and I've caught up to what i'd prewritten. To keep the chapters as long and intense and up to my standards, I'm now going to be aiming for every other friday instead of weekly. I hope yall will keep coming back though! Leave a review! Love you guys MWAH