A/N: This chapter was originally longer, but I decided to leave that one special thing for later... That also means the next update should be happening soon(er), as I got most of it already written.
Love reading your comments. Thank you :')
"What?" he barks, irritation flashing in his eyes as she halts him.
He regrets the harshness immediately. It's not Donna's fault Eden cried all morning, throwing his entire schedule off.
•••
"No!" she shrieks, her voice raw with despair. "Go away! I want Auntie!"
Harvey can make out the shape of his daughter, buried beneath a mountain of covers. Her favorite stuffed animal lies discarded on the floor, a casualty of her distress, a failed missile in her war against the world. She tried to toss it at him, but exhaustion dulled her aim, leaving Mr. Snuggles to land with a soft thud.
"Baby, I'm so sorry," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. He retrieves the T-Rex from the floor and places it on the nightstand. "I wish with all my heart that things were different, but…" He struggles to maintain his composure, but he can't afford to crumble now; his daughter needs him strong.
"We have to make this work, just the two of us." His voice cracks on the last word, as though he has to force them out. He squeezes his eyes shut as he inhales deeply, finally allowing the tears to fall.
"Why are you sending me away?" Eden's small voice cuts through the silence, raw and accusing. The covers bunch up around her as she moves, her anger palpable despite her muffled words.
"I'm not…" Harvey sighs, and sinks to his knees beside her bed, his hand hovering over the mound of blankets where he imagines her back to be. "I'm not sending you away, sweetheart. Or leaving you. I'm trying to be a better father to you. To give you the best life possible."
His voice trembles uncontrollably, and he fears his words are lost in the storm of his emotions. He forces himself to pause, taking deep, calming breaths before continuing.
"You see, Eden, Daddy's world lost all its color when Mommy left. It's a dark, scary place now. You're the only light in it, warm and bright like the sun. But even your beautiful sunshine isn't enough to keep us both happy for a long time," he explains softly.
"Daddy needs to find something to bring the colors back into his world. And I can't do that when we're living upstate, away from my job and friends. I need to be in this city, Eden. I'm asking you to please give it a chance."
He pauses, rubbing her back in a soothing motion. "And if in a few months you still don't like it here, we'll go back to our old life and figure something else out. I promise."
A minute passes, and then Eden's small face peeks out from beneath the covers.
"Hey," Harvey offers, a weak smile gracing his lips. "Don't you like Miss Donna? I bet you'll have a blast with her and the other kids. She's really nice."
"I like her," Eden whispers.
He exhales, relief washing over him as he runs his fingers through her hair. "That's good, sweetie. That's really good. I'm glad you do."
"She's so pretty, Daddy!"
A soft hum escapes Harvey's lips, while his face takes on a dreamy look, as if he is recalling a pleasant memory, and his voice becomes richer and deeper. "Yes, she's beautiful."
His mind replays Donna's image on an endless loop. Her lips, soft and inviting. The velvety canvas of her skin, adorned with freckles like scattered stardust. Her eyes, a captivating hazel that always seem to hold such an inquisitive look. That fiery red hair.
He can't stop thinking about how simple yet radiantly beautiful she looked in that casual summer dress when they first met. The way it fit her body, as if made with only her in the designer's mind.
That body is an exquisite sculpture, every curve and angle a masterpiece. Breasts, so sweetly curved and full. He shouldn't even have noticed, should've averted his eyes like a true gentleman, but…
God, he wishes he could get her out of his head, stop being so entranced by her. He curses the involuntary pull towards her. It scares him. How can he be so captivated by a woman he barely knows?
"Want a bath before we go?" he suggests, his fingertips skittering up her arm before finding their way into her hair.
Ten minutes until they have to leave – he's already running late – but the sight of his daughter makes work an afterthought. She is and always will be his priority.
Eden nods eagerly, her tiny hand reaching for him. He scoops her up, her soft weight settling comfortably in his arms. A deep sigh escapes his lips as he holds her close, showering her head with gentle kisses.
"I wish I had a mommy," she whispers, as they reach the bathroom, her voice barely audible.
Harvey gently lowers her to the floor, their gazes locking. The pain etched on her small face, raw and exposed like a physical wound, is agony for him. His heart shatters into a million pieces with every tear that glistens in her eyes.
"You have a mommy," he says, his voice trembling. "She's just… an angel."
"She's not here," Eden cries out.
His own eyes burn with unshed tears. He squats and glides his finger across her temple and down the side of her face, brushing away a stray tear from her cheek. "Hey…"
"It's okay, Daddy," she says softly then, as if apologizing for yelling at him, tracing circles on Harvey's cheek with her tiny fingers. "I have you."
A smile slips onto his lips, but it's bittersweet. "And you'll always have me, sweetheart… But no, it's not okay."
He knows that holding vigil for his dead wife isn't doing his daughter any favors, because if he can't move on, that means she can't either. Depriving himself of love is also depriving Eden of someone else who can love her.
"You're right. You deserve a mother who can be there for you," he murmurs. "And I know it's up to me to… But I can't just… Love isn't something you can just make happen. You have to wait for it to come to you."
He pulls her into a tight embrace. "But I want you to know that Daddy's trying to find happiness again. I just need a little more time, alright? Opening up to the idea of falling in love again is really scary."
"You're never scared," she mumbles.
"I'm scared of a lot of things, baby," he says with a soft chuckle. "I'm just good at hiding it."
Harvey presses a tender kiss to her cheek before turning on the faucet. He adds her favorite bubble bath and lets the water froth it into foam. Carefully testing the temperature with his hands, he removes Eden's pajamas and lifts her into the waiting tub.
He massages shampoo into her hair, his fingers dancing across her scalp. When he tickles her nose with a dollop of foam, she giggles, making him smile widely. Oh, how he loves the infectious joy in her laughter. Each soapy kiss to her nose is a tiny, perfect memory.
•••
Donna holds his gaze, unfazed by his harsh tone. The smirk, half-smile, makes his chest flutter and his stomach dip. Every muscle in his body tenses as she steps closer.
"May I?" she whispers.
She smells vaguely of coffee and vanilla. But her hair carries the scent of strawberries, and he thinks how he wouldn't mind just staying like that forever. His heart races, so he takes a deep breath to slow it down, wondering if she can feel it.
Harvey flinches when her fingers graze his skin, both soft and strong as they peel something off his forehead. Her touch burns him, like a brushfire spreading in the dry summer, igniting something deep within him.
The silkiness of Donna's hair floats around her shoulders. Her face is so close that he can make out each tiny freckle dotting her skin, and he can't help but notice her hazel eyes looking green in the light.
And then her lips… Those perfect lips are so close that she is all but breathing into his mouth. So close that if he moves, even a little, they'd land on his mouth – a thought he feels guilty for having. If he had any doubt about his attraction to her, it slips away right that second.
"I just figured you wouldn't want to show up to court with this on your forehead," she says softly with an even softer smile, holding a brightly colored princess sticker out to him.
A princess sticker. Of all the damn things.
Harvey stares at it, the imprint of her touch still vivid on his skin. Her intoxicating scent and the magnetic pull of her gaze threatens to consume him. He wrestles with shame as he recognizes the depth of his infatuation, a sickening realization that clashes with every fiber of his being.
But, deep inside, there's a part of him that craves to explore these emotions. He wants to savor them, because he can't even remember the last time he felt so alive. It's the fear that holds him back. There's too much at stake here. He's not a fifteen-year-old with a crush. He's got a daughter to consider.
"Right," Harvey mumbles, his voice rough with regret, and he sighs. "I'm sorry, Donna." Her name feels strangely familiar on his tongue, and the way it slips out, soft and breathless, surprises even him. "I didn't mean to…"
He watches her face, sees her eyes widen slightly, and there's a flicker of something in them he can't quite place. He's always been in control of his emotions, but right now, he feels anything but.
She doesn't blame him for his behavior, for having snapped at her, and perhaps that was to be expected. Maybe he is making more of it in his head than it is. Still, her kindness feels like a warm embrace, penetrating his defenses and reaching deep within.
"Trust me. I've got this," she assures him, and he knows he has to. He has to trust her with his daughter, or this whole thing won't work. And although he feels like Donna's completely worthy of that trust, it terrifies him.
Her eyes meet his, and for a fleeting moment, Harvey sees something in her gaze – a depth, an understanding that's almost reverent. There are only a few people who had an instant connection with Eden, and she's one of them. It's pretty astonishing.
"How do you always seem to know what to say to her?" he wonders, "One minute she wouldn't even look at you, and the next…"
A smirk creeps across Donna's face. "I'm Donna. I know everything," she purrs, her voice dripping with playful arrogance, her eyes dancing with amusement.
Leaving is harder than he thought. It isn't just about his daughter; Donna is a significant part of the equation, too. He wants to stay. Desperately.
It is absurd, because he has no clue what they'd even talk about, and she has a daycare to run, anyway. But just the sound of her voice, the sight of her smile, makes this place infinitely more appealing than the office.
Time crawls as Harvey counts down the minutes until he can leave work and pick up his daughter. He insists to himself it is solely the uncertainty of Eden's first day that has him on edge, and has nothing to do with a certain redhead. But a quiet part of him knows better.
As he stands on Donna's doorstep, the moment she opens the door, everything from that morning floods back.
The intimate touch, her radiant smile, the way she made him feel like the part of his heart that he's shut off for years was very much alive, still. It beats wildly in his chest, and when she looks at him, it beats even faster.
"You're early," she greets him with a warm smile.
Harvey returns her smile, though his is tentative. His palms are damp with sweat, but he resists the urge to wipe them on his slacks and does his best to look nonchalant. "So, how'd it go?"
Donna's eyes light up instantly. "Perfect, Harvey," she says dreamily. She steps aside to let him in and they walk down the hallway to the backyard. "We had a little welcome party for Eden at the zoo today. She got spooked by a monkey and dropped her ice cream, but the other kids were so sweet, sharing theirs with her."
Relief floods him as he exhales slowly. "That's… good."
She bumps his shoulder playfully. "I told you there was nothing to worry about."
"Did she say anything?"
"Nope," Donna replies with a chuckle. "Not a peep all day, but we managed just fine." She glances at him sideways. "Kids are amazing at communicating without words, you know? She fit right in."
"And you?" he mumbles. "Did you two, uh, get along?"
She stops walking and turns to face him, her smile widening. "Harvey, your daughter is… She's like the sun. You may not always notice her presence, but you feel her warmth when she shines."
"I didn't even realize how attentive she was to her surroundings," Donna continues, her voice filled with admiration. "But when Henry tripped, she was the first one there to help him up. And when Benji's foot got stuck in a fence, she managed to free him. Eden's looking out for them already."
"She does that at home, too," he says. "She's incredibly empathetic. Can sense something's off, even before I do." He pauses, swallowing hard. "Definitely gets that from her mother."
Donna smirks slightly. "So, you're admitting to a slight deficiency in the emotional intelligence department?"
He chuckles. "I'm not even gonna answer that," Harvey replies, smirking back at her.
There's something undeniably familiar to their easy banter, and he loves that she feels comfortable enough to tease him like this. It makes him wonder if she's this open with other parents, or if there's something special about their dynamic. Perhaps he's just imagining things.
"You know, I actually saw a couple of smiles," Donna says, raising an eyebrow.
"With Eden?"
She nods.
"On her first day?"
Donna's grin widens.
"Wow," he exclaims. "That's a big deal."
"I thought so, too," she replies. "Now, c'mon… She's gonna be so happy to see you."
As they step into the garden, Eden spots her dad instantly. With a squeal of delight, she dashes towards him, arms outstretched. Harvey scoops her up in a tight embrace, her laughter mingling with the soft afternoon breeze.
"Hey, little monkey," he chuckles, burying his face in her hair. "How was your day with Miss Donna? Did you have fun?"
"Yes, we had so much fun!" Eden says excitedly, tightening her tiny arms around Harvey's neck. "But I missed you, Daddy."
His heart melts. "I missed you, too, sweetheart," he breathes, pressing a kiss to her temple.
He steals a glance at Donna, mouthing a thank you. She returns the smile, her eyes warm with affection.
"My pleasure," she whispers.
Before getting into his car, Harvey turns to Donna, his gaze lingering on her as she stands in the doorway. "Hey, if you ever need a lawyer…"
"Are you offering?" She feigns surprise. "I'm not sure I can afford the best closer in the city."
He chuckles. "What if I give you a discount?"
"Well, in that case," Donna smirks, "I might just take you up on that."
