Draco left the training room with steady strides and marched all the way to the first floor. His hands were curled in fists at his sides, and Keela was whining behind him, fussy.
"Not now," he snapped, without looking at her.
Hermione's bloody face glided in his mind. The gaping, dark hole where her tooth should be. The twisted angle of her nose.
Another surge of fury washed through him, and he breathed through it. Keela whined again, walking quickly to keep up with him.
She had told him to not kill him. Fine. He had other plans.
He entered the player's hallway that was identical to the one on each floor. Number 10's door was ajar at the end of the corridor, but Draco made a beeline for number 6's closed door.
He kicked it open, and the wood splintered.
The room was empty.
"What are you doing?" Number 10 asked. He was standing in his own room's doorway, frowning.
"Where is he?" Draco clenched his jaw.
"He did nothing wrong." Number 10's expression was hard, determined.
"What's going on?" Number 3's voice rose in the corridor. She appeared, reading the situation.
"Our Trainer wants to kick Foster's ass," Number 10 replied.
Number 3 sneered, a disbelieving sound. "Are you fucking serious?"
Draco had no patience whatsoever for this. He stopped thinking. He drew out his wand, and pointed it at number 10.
"Hey, easy!" Number 10 lifted both of his hands in a defence gesture.
"What the fuck are you doing!" Number 3 yelled behind him, and she dashed to him, placing herself right at the tip of his wand, shielding number 10. "Have you gone mad?"
"Where's your buddy?" He breathed slowly, tasting fire and metal. Keela growled softly, although he wasn't sure if she was growling at him or at them. He was craving something to break, and it didn't matter if it was stone or bone.
They said nothing, glaring at him with heinous eyes. Good—that fuelled him.
"You can either make this easy, or difficult." He pushed the tip of his wand in number 3's cheek, digging into her skin. "It's your choice." He remembered with a bad taste how he said something similar to players he captured.
Number 10 shoved number 3 behind him. "Since you cut the training short, he went for a run around the castle. Now, leave us alone. Fucking psychopath."
Draco chuckled a humourless laugh. "See? Was this so difficult?" He straightened his spine and Obliviated the last five minutes from their mind.
He swivelled around and left, walking with purposeful steps towards the castle exit. His chest was shaking, anger rumbling deep beneath the surface. Keela followed, huffing, and tried to catch his attention. Was she already hungry?
"Not. Now." His tone was sharp like a blade. She could wait a few minutes.
No, he wouldn't kill Wade. But he had far better plans that included breaking his nose, mending it, and breaking it again until his knuckles bled—then Obliviating him.
He marched outside, instinctively veering left. He would sooner or later stumble upon him. His skin was prickling, urging him to find an outlet for his anger. His lungs were burning, muscles tensing with control.
And then Wade's silhouette appeared on the horizon, jogging toward him.
Draco's blood rushed out of his head. "Impedimenta!" The spell flew out of his wand and hit number's 6 feet. He crumpled to the ground, hard, and Draco hurried to him.
Keela yelped like a warning and tried to bite the end of his cloak.
"Kee, stop!" he exclaimed, briefly looking down at her, before continuing toward Wade. She winced but still followed.
"Oh, hi there," Wade snarled, slowly getting up and rubbing dirt and grass from his knees. He was breathless and his face was blotchy with effort.
Draco didn't miss a beat and slammed his fist into his face with a satisfying crunch. Wade's head flew back and he brought his hands to his nose.
"You dick!" The player hissed, blood dripping down between his fingers.
Keela growled low in her throat and nibbled at Draco's boot. He ignored her completely and grabbed Wade's collar. He pulled at his hands covering his face and smiled wickedly when he noticed the odd angle of his nose.
"Episkey," he muttered.
The bone reset itself and Wade hissed with pain.
Draco rammed his fist in the same place again, right in the middle of his nose. This time, Wade fell back. Keela started to bark at him, not even glancing at number 6. She was rigid on her four paws, each of her bark steaming with a grey mist.
Draco hoped Wade was seeing stars. A fucking galaxy.
He smacked his foot right on top of his chest. Wade's blood was pouring out of his nostrils, trickling down each side of his face, sticking into his hair.
"Episkey." Draco gritted his teeth.
Crack.
Keela was barking loud at his side, distracting him. Wade was wailing, squirming under his booth. The wind was cold. Hermione was hurt. His knuckles were burning.
Suddenly, there was a sharp pain in his calf.
Keela had tried to grab his leg.
"Are you FUCKING kidding me?" he bellowed at her, and she squealed back, tail between her legs. "What's the matter with you!" He raised his wand and sent a spark flying right beside her.
She shrieked in fear and stepped back.
"Get away!" he shouted at her, air hissing out of his teeth. "Leave!" He pointed at nothing and took a menacing step towards her.
She looked at him with utter dismay and fear and whined—a high-pitched noise. Then she bolted away.
Wade snaked his arms around his boots, trying to get a hold of him. Draco punched him again right on the face and Wade's skull crashed on the ground. His eyes remained open, but he stopped moving.
Draco was panting above him. He couldn't hear himself think.
He was sweating. Heaving. He stood above number 6 for a few seconds before leaning over him again. "Episkey."
He removed his boot and licked his lips. "Obliviate." He sucked the memory out of Wade's brain.
He walked away, leaving number 6 sprawled on the grass. He sheathed his wand and let the wind blow over his boiling skin. The knuckles of his left hand were split open and bruised, but he didn't care.
As anger slowly subsided, like poison dribbling out of a wound, his mind cleared. His chest started to constrict with guilt as he looked around the grounds.
Keela.
What was wrong with him?
Why had he sent a spell flying that close to her?
Why had he screamed at her like that?
An overwhelming wave of shame and self-loathing crashed into him, flowing down his blood stream and wiping every ounce of anger that remained. Once again, he found himself alone, at a loss for words. Unable to forgive himself.
He called for her. Again and again and again.
In a daze, he walked back to the dorms. Went to his room.
She wasn't here.
He filled her bowl to the brim with kibbles. Refilled her water.
Peaked into Theo's room.
Not here.
He tried to swallow the surge of panic that was bubbling under his skin. She'd come back. She was simply hiding somewhere. He had scared her away. That was all.
He loved her. And she loved him.
But as he changed course to go back to the castle, he thought that maybe—maybe she had finally found her way out of the Empire. Away from him, and was finally free. Boundless.
Dracoless.
Draco didn't knock on Hermione's door—he barged in. He had a pain potion in his hand, getting warm with the heat of his skin.
She was sitting on her bed, with a parchment sheet on her lap. Reine was sitting on the floor, facing her. They both startled at his entrance, and Draco stopped dead in his tracks.
"What are you doing here?" he asked Reine, hiding the potion in his pocket.
Hermione's features changed when she saw his face, but she watched their exchange silently.
Reine stood up. "Waiting for you. I did not let her fall asleep."
He softened slightly. "Thank you."
Reine turned back toward Hermione. "Get better."
Hermione thanked her and watched her leave. Reine's footsteps echoed down the corridor. She wasn't going back to her room.
Hermione looked worried, and she stepped to him. "Are you okay?"
But she was the one with the bruised face and a missing tooth. Asking him if he was alright.
"I'm fine." He was mumbling, and he knew his avoidance would only make it worse. He extended the vial to her. "Here."
She uncapped it and gulped it down, then threw the vial on her bed. Her eyes scanned his body, before spotting his bruised hand. "What happened?" she asked, not backing down, even though something had clicked in her mind.
He could see it.
He should have healed his hand before coming to see her.
"I'll take you to a Healer for your tooth." He took her wrist gently. "I'll Obliviate them, it doesn't matter." He was on an Obliviating roll today.
But she resisted.
"Draco Malfoy!" Her voice was authoritative. She closed the door right behind him and stood in front of it, blocking his way out. "Tell me what happened right now."
He breathed slowly for a few moments, looking everywhere but at her. With a delicate touch, she took his wounded hand in hers, but he drew it back quickly like she had burned him.
"Draco…" she whispered. "Whatever it is, I'm sorry." She inhaled deeply. "If you really don't want to tell me, I'll try to—I will respect that."
He had more than a head in height above her, and still he feltcrushedunder her. Because she was being unconditionally kind to him and he didn't fucking deserve her and he had lost Keela and—
"Hey," she murmured, reaching out her tiny perfect hand to stroke his cheek.
He blinked a few times, realising his world was blurring with tears. His chest was hot and throbbing again, his lungs tightening, and there was no fur, no head to scratch right under his fingertips.
She grabbed his biceps—again, so softly—and backed him a few steps until he was sitting on her cot. She kneeled between his legs, and he didn't want her there, he didn't want her so close, so close when he could snap and yell at her. So close when she could run away, choosing to be free of him, finally free—
He covered his face in his palms and tried to breathe. But replaced in his core was a hole, shrinking and tightening by the minute.
Hermione started caressing his legs, and pushing back the hair from his forehead and doing all sorts of calming sounds and strokes.
Surely she was still in pain. There were blueish bruises under her eyes, just like when Rathmore had punched her during a headlock. Her upper lip was split, right above the missing tooth.
"Let's go see a Healer," he breathed out. "Please."
"After."
He focused on the movements of her hands on his legs. The spot that Keela had grazed with her teeth wasn't even painful anymore. She hadn't tried to hurt him. She was trying to communicate with him.
Communicate that he wasn't a monster. That killing Wade wasn't worth it.
A surge of heat spread from his chest, rising to his head. He felt his mind liquefying like molten lava. His diaphragm was pressing against his lungs. His heartbeat quickened, allowing him to breathe in short spans only.
"I-I think I lost her," he blurted out. "Keela. I was mad and I screamed at her and she was scared."
Hermione placed her hand against his bouncing knee. "Focus on my voice," she said soothingly.
"I don't think she'll come back." He swallowed a thick lump in his throat. His nerves were raging inside him. Keela, his girl, his Kee, he had made her leave, made her run away.
"Yes, she will. She adores you." Her hands were now on his face.
He shook his head. Shook his head. Because no, no one could adore a monster. Eventually, he would drive everyone out of his perimeter.
"Draco." The pad of her fingers pressed against his face, and he swam in her eyes. "We'll find her. She'll come back."
"I hit Wade." The words pushed out of his mouth.
"I know."
"I think she was trying to stop me."
She didn't look sad or angry. She just kept detailing him, like she was counting his eyelashes, memorising the map of his face.
"Can you breathe with me?" she said. "We'll go slow. Please."
She inhaled slowly, mouth closed, drawing a breath for at least six seconds. She held it for two seconds, and exhaled for seven seconds. The next time she inhaled, he did the same.
He followed her cue.
Inhaling for six seconds—absorbing her scent, her existence.
Holding his breath for two seconds—wondering why she didn't scream at him.
Exhaling for seven seconds—releasing the tension, emptying his thoughts.
"I killed Flint," he murmured after what seemed like five minutes. "At the Ministry. Avery too. They were just there, about to kill Theo. I just did it."
She nodded slowly. "I understand."
"I killed David. All those months ago."
She drew a sharp breath and stilled. She looked down for a moment. His eyes remained on her hair, watching the light reflect on their hazelnut shade.
"Okay," she said.
Nothing more.
"None of this is okay." His tone was stiff. He rubbed his face again, ignoring the faint throb of his knuckles. She couldn't—she shouldn't accept this so easily.
"Don't reason with me about this." She wasn't speaking softly anymore."Everyone in here is either already mad, or slowly going insane." Her eyes were bleary, tears gathering on her lower lids. "I'm slowly going insane. What about you?"
He exhaled slowly and brought his forehead closer to hers. Not touching.
"I'm already mad," he murmured. "Been mad for years. But slowly… very slowly going sane. Since you're here."
Her arms curved around his shoulders and she pulled him against her warmth. They stayed like this for a few more minutes. Her wedged in the cradle of his legs, his hands sealed behind her back, keeping her close.
Then, she drew back. "We'll find her," she said sadly. "I'll help you."
He nodded but said nothing. She got back on her feet, and took the sheet of parchment before sitting next to him. Her weight barely shifted the cot.
She unfolded it in front of him.
We know how the F. was made.
Urgent meeting—January 23rd, Manchester Airport
Come at any hour. Do not send a reply.
Draco tossed the parchment aside. "Don't they realise how dangerous it was to send a letter to you?"
Her lips were parted. "I want you to come with me."
January 23rdwas in four days. He was already racking his brain trying to figure out the best time to disappear with her. Already, he was hatingthemfor demanding thatshe—a player—risks her life to come to them. Why didn't they come closer? Why didn't they find a solution so she could remain safe?
Why hadn't he been summoned to that meeting? He and Theo were there when they took samples of the fog.
He stood, dragging her up with him. He still felt jittery.
"About that tooth."
Draco searched for Keela for the next two days. After bringing Hermione to the Healer, they both went outside and called for her. Theo was out on a Scavenger run, but he hoped that upon his return, Keela would go to him.
Keela knew Theo.
She knew his mother too.
So they went to Cindermore. Scanned the grounds, the plains, the hills. Went around the Lake, inside the Boathouse. Skimmed through the Forbidden Forest. By that time, they had missed dinner and it was dark outside.
Their breaths were fogging out of their mouths, and Draco's voice was broken after numberless shouts.
"She'll come back," Hermione said softly. "She's a big girl. She'll find food and everything she needs."
"You think she's out of the Empire?"
He trusted that his dog was able to fend for herself, to hunt for squirrels, to look for clean water. But he didn't trust everything else that could happen around her. Didn't trust larger animals, like bears or wolves. Didn't trust Wizards or Muggles that could find her. Make her suffer for sport.
"It's possible," she answered quietly.
On Friday, Draco walked to the Hogwarts Express station, right by Cindermore. He stood at the mouth of the tunnel, looking into its shadowed depth. The train tracks disappeared inside.
He had a pocketful of her kibbles in his cloak.
And so he dove in the darkness, following the train tracks out of the Empire. We walked surrounded by silence, feeling a void by his right side—Keela's usual side. He was used to the sound of her leathery pads thudding softly on different textures. Gravel, grass, snow, cement, wood.
"Keela!" he called. He dropped one kibble on the ground.
She was always there, so he got used to her sounds. Her huffing, her sneezing, her grunting, her panting, her drinking, her yawning. He was so used to it all that he never noticed her sounds anymore. She was just there. Like a ticking clock in the same room that you stop hearing. His shadow.
But now he heard the absence of her.
The silence of her.
"Keela!" He dropped another kibble.
He emerged on the other side of the tunnel in broad daylight. The sky was clouded. The train tracks were atop a high stone bridge curving away, disappearing between mountains. The arched pillars erected underneath were at least a hundred feet high. The bridge connected two mountainsides over an immense river flowing lazily.
He kept walking, dropping one kibble every 20 metres, not even caring about the slap of the wind. There was room enough for five people to walk side by side. His black boots were dusted with dirt and mud.
Should he walk all the way to London?
Did she go back to Aberdeen?
He stopped halfway through the bridge, and cupped his kibble-scented hands around his mouth.
"Keela!" he shouted at the mountains.
His voice echoed, ringing in the wind, until it died down.
He yelled her name, again and again.
Until he had no shout left in him, and he was standing cold and heaving.
He marched on. Leaving one kibble at a time. If she was on the other side, in the mountains, maybe she would come back this way. She'll remember that he loved her. That he wanted her.
That he needed her.
The bridge grew smaller behind him as he wandered in the mountains, still on the tracks.
Time evaded him.
Hours went by, disguised as minutes.
He stopped when he had no kibbles left and he had no idea where he was standing. Somewhere in the middle of Scotland. He had walked past the mountains, and now the terrain was flatter. Plains. Endless sea of plains.
He didn't sit. He didn't turn back, didn't continue.
He stood still, swaying in the wind like a stalk of wheat.
A swirl of black smoke whooshed above him, twisting a few times. The silhouette landed right in front of him, and the smoke dissipated.
"There you are," Theo said.
Draco looked sightlessly at him.
"Granger wasn't kidding," Theo frowned. "You look awful."
"Haven't slept really well." His voice was rutted, like nails scraping on rock. He hadn't seen Theo in over two days.
His friend glanced around. Together, they were two black dots on a denuded landscape.
"Granger filled me in." His lips pursed. "Still no luck?"
Draco's tongue swiped over his front teeth. He shook his head.
"Don't beat yourself up about it, mate," Theo sighed empathically. "Masters get angry at their pet all the time."
"I screamed at her." Air was burning through his throat again. "I yelled like she was vermin, and then I shot a spell at her side."
Theo inhaled slowly. "Fuck, okay, well—" He exhaled. "She got scared. She's just hiding somewhere."
"She'll never trust me again."
Theo said nothing, and Draco knew that he was right.
"I've been flying over the Empire and around for an hour." Theo cleared his throat. "To get a bird view."
"If she really left the Empire, she must be really far by now."
"Or she's hiding." Theo caught his stare. "If she doesn't want to be found, she won't be. Not for now."
"You think she stayed close?"
"Malfoy," Theo scoffed. "You're her world. You're the only stable thing she has known for her entire life. She knows your scent, she'll stay close to it. Yeah, you scared her, but dogsneverabandon their master. It's always the other way around."
Warmth spread through him, bringing a morsel of comfort. He nodded. "Thanks."
They stood in front of each other in the middle of the train tracks, hair dancing in the wind. Theo slid his hands into his pockets.
"Never thought I'd received a raven before." He let out a wry laugh.
"You too?"
"Yeah." He brushed his hair back from his forehead. "Pretty ballsy of them to send ravens tous. But I'm anxious like shite about what they found out."
"Pretty ballsy of them to think I won't come just because I didn't receive a letter." His throat was hurting a little.
"I don't think that would be a total surprise for them."
"What exactly have you told them about my…?"
"Yoooour…?" Theo drawled, brows quirking up. "Physical, emotional and spiritual relationship with Granger?"
Draco grunted.
"Only the juiciest details, of course." He cocked his head playfully to the side, then chuckled. "No, I told them that they could, that they should trust you. That she trusts you and you're taking care of her."
Draco puffed air out of his lungs. "She's the one taking care of me, that's more like it." A calmness unfolded inside his stomach, spreading to every bone, every muscle.
Theo was eyeing him closely, slightly squinting. "I've never seen you like this," His smile was stretching one corner of his mouth only.
"Like what? Miserable? Dogless?"
"Flustered." He kept watching him, and Draco shifted uncomfortably. "Your face softens when you mention her. You relax. You melt."
"Shut up."
Theo lifted his palms, still smiling. "Just thought you should know."
"I already know how I feel."
He paused, holding his breath. Refusing to exhale until he understood what had just happened. What had just come out of his mouth. He hadn't even thought about how he felt. How could he know?
He rubbed his eyes.
"We should go back," Theo offered.
Draco looked at the single kibble he had dropped at his feet. Keela wouldn't abandon him. "Okay."
"Okay," his friend repeated.
They rose in the sky, like two columns of smoke, and whirled away, back to the Empire.