Hello.

Thanks for all the positive feedback. You have no idea how much it means to me right now. There is stuff going on in my personal life causing me lots of stress. I can't get into it for multiple reasons. But doing stuff like this...it's a big help.

Just a heads up, we don't be doing what we did before where we post multiple chapters at the same time. That was something we did because the story was being published and instead of just posting about the set up, we decided to go ahead and do the reaction for episode 1. Afterwards, we realized that episodes 1 and 2 were their own mini arc and decided to go ahead and write up that reaction as well. But with this story now properly set up, we can move forward at a steadier pace. So, let's continue the fun!

We hope you all enjoy.

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Dragon Ball Z Abridged is the creation of Team Four Star

Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, and Dragon Ball GT are all owned by Akira Toriyama, please support the official release.

"Talking"

'Thinking'

"Host talking"

'Host thinking'

Episode 3

The excitement from watching the first fight of the series died down as the audience got ready to move forward with the plot.

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

Scene opens up with Saji, Master Azazel, and Sona lamenting over the loss of Issei.)

MASTER AZAZEL: Well, Issei has passed. But his sacrifice has stopped a great evil. (Saji picks up Millicas's hat) Thanks to him, our lives can return to peace once more.

"I got to say, I'm surprised at how calm I am looking at my own dead body." Issei mused, munching on his popcorn.

"To be fair, we already know what's going to happen next." Irina laughed. "Including the fact that you do come back to life."

"You're right." Issei nodded, then his face lit up in realization and excitement. "And that's what actually happened to me! I died twice but came back stronger each time! I'm a real life Saiyan!" Issei cheered, getting laughs from his girls and a few scoffs from other members of the audience.

RISER: (speaking through Raynare's scouter) Raaynare? Raaynareeee?

Most members of the audience raised their eyebrows at Riser's voice coming out of the scouter on the ground. Meanwhile, the hardcore fans had looks of confusion on their faces.

"Pretty sure this didn't happen in the original." Gorou commented.

(Saji and Sona look at Raynare's scouter.)

MASTER AZAZEL: What the hell is that?

RISER: (speaking through Raynare's scouter) Girl-who's-as-strong-as-a-Saibaman says "What?"

The insult made all the girls of the ORC laugh. Seeing that bitch be insulted even after death was hilarious to them.

RISER: ...That usually gets to him; I think he's dead, Vali.

VALI: (speaking through Raynare's scouter) Big shocker! Nobody cares! We're ten times stronger than him anyway! We'll go to Earth, find the Dragon Balls, and kill everyone! And we'll be there within a year or so—depending on filler, of course.

Issei shrugged at Vali's words. "Sometimes filler is good."

RISER: (speaking through Raynare's scouter) Anything else we need to go over, Vali?

VALI: (speaking through Raynare's scouter) Nnnope, that's about it.

MASTER AZAZEL: Well, fu—

"And we still don't have proof that you're Vegeta." Bikou snickered to Vali. "So maybe Riser here is the even stronger one!" The descended of actual Sun Wukong laughed until Vali bonked him on the head.

(opening sequence)

(Scene shifts to a wasteland where Sirzechs is talking to Millicas.)

Sirzech's face became a bit sulky.

"I have to kidnap my own son to spend time with him." He moped.

"Technically that's not your son. That's Rias's son." Grayfia countered pointing at the screen. Her words merely made Sirzechs mope even more.

SIRZECHS: Alright, you little human... Saiyan... thing. I saw what you did to that Saiyan back there; that kind of power can be useful.

MILLICAS: Wh-what do you mean?

SIRZECHS: I'm going to make you my pupil. And then, I'll use YOU for my conquest to take over the world.

Hearing Sirzechs declare he was going to try to take over the world made the audience laugh at the irony of it.

"Thankfully our Sirzechs doesn't have such goals." Azazel laughed.

MILLICAS: But-but where's my daddy?

SIRZECHS: Hate to tell you, kid, but your dad's dead! ...Actually I kind of like saying that. Haha! Your dad's dead—(Millicas starts crying) Ah. Damn it. This is why I hang out in wastelands...

Sirzechs could feel the glares from two women for making Millicas cry like that.

(Scene changes to the front of the Check-In Station.)

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: (through bullhorn) Hello! Welcome to the heavenly Check-In Station! Please no cutting in line! If you are caught cutting in line, you will be sent straight to Hell!

Azazel pulled out his own megaphone and called out, "Their stuck in a line! They're already in Hell!" getting laughs from everyone. Even CC laughed, though he did give Azazel a look that made him put the megaphone away.

(Scene shifts to inside Yemma's office. Michael is seen touching Issei's shoulder while talking in a wheezy voice.)

MICHAEL: And so, we need Issei here to get to King Kai's for his masterful training, Lord Yemma.

KING YEMMA: Give me one good reason I should allow this.

MICHAEL: Because, if you don't, (camera cuts the entrance of Yemma's office showing a group of dead souls along with an attendant) that line's going increase by six billion!

KING YEMMA: Six billion?! I'm supposed to be intimidated by six billion?! Please, I can judge six billion souls faster than you take a piss, old man!

MICHAEL: You know, I am the guardian of Earth. Can I please get a little bit more respect here?

"Huh," Issei spoke up in realization. "Michael is Kami. That checks."

"AMEN!" The Church Trio cried out.

"In all worlds, Lord Michael is the protector." Asia said.

"His guiding light is truly eternal." Xenovia nodded.

"And may he bring salvation to everyone!" Irina cheered. The Church Trio sighed as if they had just heard a beautiful sermon.

"Doesn't this mean he is Sirzech's other half?" Vali spoke up, interrupting their bliss. On top of that, it got the minds of everyone in the audience stuck in a whirlpool of thoughts. Some of them not suitable for kids.

"Well, I suppose it is even more appropriate." Michael himself spoke up, giving off a soft chuckle. "Some have had that brother Lucifer and I are two sides of the same coin." His tone was so melancholic that it made everyone calm down.

"Though from the sound of it, the job has clearly stressed you out." Azazel joked, getting a smile from Michael.

KING YEMMA: Big deal! I'm the closest thing to a God in this show—until you get to the Kais—then, I'll be horribly insignificant. I do have a desk though! It's made of mahogany! Ma-ho-gany.

MICHAEL: Uhhhh anyway, can we please—

KING YEMMA: SILENCE!

(both Issei and Michael are surprised and keeps quiet)

KING YEMMA: (whispering) Mahogany.

MICHAEL: Umm... Sir?

KING YEMMA: Wh-what? Oh-uh sure, whatever. He can go to King Kai's, but he'll have to run on (in an echoing voice) SNAAAAKE WAAAAY! (sound clip from "Gustav Holst's Mars: the Bringer of War" plays)

ISSEI: Sounds fun!

KING YEMMA: Prepare to be surprised.

ISSEI: (nods) Alright, I'm off! (begins to leave but stops) Oh wait. By the way, did you see a girl named Raynare come through here? (King Yemma begins flipping pages from a book) She has black hair and a tail?

KING YEMMA: Oh yeah, I remember that girl. I put her in my patented Yammalock!

ISSEI: And it worked?

KING YEMMA: F**K NO! She kicked me in the balls and ran away! Now I don't know where she is!
Issei didn't want to laugh at anything Raynare did, but the image of King Yemen getting hit in the bean bag...not even his anger could block out the sheer comedy of it. Let's face it, getting hit in the balls (when it's not yourself) will always be hilarious.

(Scene cuts away to Raynare with a halo.)

RAYNARE: He didn't keep his eye on the birdie!

"Even in the afterlife she's a bitch." Rias snarled.

(Scene cuts back to Issei.)

ISSEI: Huh, okay. Well bye! (leaves Yemma's office)

KING YEMMA: See ya next time you die!

"Does that count as spoilers?" Issei asked.

(Michael glares at King Yemma)

KING YEMMA: (in a soft voice) ...Mahogany.

(Scene change to Kame House.)

MASTER AZAZEL: So Saji, how did Rias take the news?

SAJI: Um...

"Oh, looks like it's my turn." Rias giggled.

"Is it just me or does Saji look really nervous." Kiba pointed out.

(flashback to Saji's conversation with Rias and Zeoticus dressed as the Ox King)

Rias nodded. "So, father is still my father."

RIAS: Well Saji. What did you need to talk about?

SAJI: So, Rias. Hypothetically: what would you do if you were told that your husband was dead; and your son were kidnapped by his worst enemy?

RIAS: I'd castrate the messenger in his sleep with a rusty carving knife!

Her words made some of the audience chuckle uncomfortably, especially the male.

SAJI: Oh. ...Then it's a good thing I'm not telling you that!

(both Saji and Rias laugh)

RIAS: Would you like to spend the night?

SAJI: Aaagainst my better judgment.
Sona sighed and put a hand on Saji's shoulder.

"You really should have run." She said, making the blonde Pawn gulp.

(Scene changes to an outside view of Issei's house at nighttime. Camera cuts to a bedroom with the Zeoticus is snoring loudly while Saji tries to sneaks out of the house, but shrieks as he hears a sound of someone sharpening a knife.)

RIAS: Saajiii, where are yoooouuuu?

(Scene changes to a roadway, where Saji quickly drives his car towards the screen while screaming.)

Saji nervously turned to look at Rias, who was nodding and grinning at what was happening on screen. He quickly turned away to avoid eye contact, scared of what might happen.

(scene changes back inside Kame House)

SAJI: Relatively well.

SONA: So, are you going to gather the other Z-Warriors and go train with Michael?

SAJI: The Who-Warriors?

SONA: (with a scouter on her face) The Z-Warriors: (text on the bottom reads: Where'd that scouter come from?) You, Issei, Tien, Yamcha, Chiaotzu. That's what we always call you guys!

SAJI: That's the stupidest thing I've ever—

RIAS: (offscreen) SAJI! (camera cuts to Rias angrily driving towards Kame House) Where the hell are you?!

Grayfia nods in approval. "That is the appropriate response." she said, making her sister-in-law blush at the compliment for being so violent.

SAJI: (quickly) Well, I'm off to gather the Z-Warriors! Bye!

(Scene changes to another roadway with, where Saji quickly drives his car away from the screen while screaming.)

(Scene changes to wastelands, where Sirzechs is talking to Millicas.)

SIRZECHS: Listen up, runt! Today we're going to commence your intense training under me!

MILLICAS: But wait, wouldn't that cause horrible muscle degeneration for somebody my age? Crippling me for years to come?

SIRZECHS: ...You're a wordy little bastard, aren't you?

MILLICAS: My mom wants me to become an ortho—

SIRZECHS: NEEEEERD!

"There is nothing wrong with that." Grayfia glared at Sirzechs, making him wilt in fear. "It is good that he is knowledgeable."

"But mother, it's getting in the way of training with dad." Millicas pouted. His words made CC stifle a laugh.

MILLICAS: Wh-what?

SIRZECHS: Anyway, I've figured to unleash your hidden potential, I'd have to put you in immense physical danger. So I'm gonna through you at that mountain.

MILLICAS: Actually, that looks more like a pla—(Sirzechs throws Millicas)TEAAAAAAA—

Stares and glares were leveled at Sirzechs, who tried to sink into his seat in a futile attempt to hide.

SIRZECHS: (thinking to himself) Any second now.

MILLICAS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

SIRZECHS: (thinking to himself) Here it comes.

MILLICAS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

SIRZECHS: (thinking to himself) And—

MILLICAS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

(a splattering sound is heard with Millicas crying offscreen)

SIRZECHS: Uugh.

(Sirzechs begins walking towards a crying Millicas.)

SIRZECHS: (thinking to himself) This is gonna be a loooooooong training session.

"Is that really all you have to say brother." Rias glared at Sirzechs.

"I promise you my dear Rias I would never do that." He whimpered.

'Tannin would.' Issei thought to himself, knowing now was not the time to voice that opinion.

(Scene change to the entrance to Snake Way.)

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: Alright, Mr. Muscle Man. Here you are at Snake Way. Now you might want to pack a lunch, 'cause it's going to be a long run. Nah, I'm just joking; you're not going to be eating nothing.

ISSEI: (noticing how long Snake Way is) Wow! That looks like it's going to take me a while.

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: Now be careful running—you don't want to fall off and die. That's just a little bit of dead humor. But seriously, do not fall off or you will go to Hell.

ISSEI: Has anyone ever run the whole thing before?

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: Well, there was one man.

ISSEI: Well, who was he?

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: (writing something in a book) I believe his name was—

(Scene change to Michael's lookout.)

MICHAEL: Miss. Ophis!
The screen changes to Ophis who looks relatively the same except her attire matched Mr. Popo's, with turban and everything. Even the pointed ears with golden earrings. Her expression was the same blank look she always had. However,...
"Is it just me or does her eyes look like she's staring into our souls...more so than usual" said Azazel feeling a little unnerved.

"I feel it too." Albion spoke up from Vali's wings.

"Indeed." Ddraig agreed, the Boosted Gear appearing on Issei's arm suddenly. "Reminds me of the old days."

Miss. OPHIS: Yes, Michael?

MICHAEL: I just received word that we have a new batch of trainees coming! Make sure you take good care of them!

(Miss. Ophis starts laughing evilly while the camera begins to zoom in to his face, with music from a horror film playing by the time the camera focuses on his eyes. The camera begins to slowly fade into black.)

The scene made everyone's eyes widen in terror. Hearing Ophis laugh was shocking enough. But to laugh like that, with clear malice and dark thoughts...let's just say that the two old dragons were glad they did not have physical bodies for they would have been ashamed of their reaction. Everyone turned to look at the actual Ophis who was sitting on the seat in front of Issei's. Feeling everyone look at her, she looked around at them. All while drinking her bottomless soda.

(ending sequence)

[STINGER]

KING YEMMA: And not just any mahogany, (shows a planet named Malchior 7) but mahogany from the planet, Malchior 7! (shows a tree, which suddenly breathes fire) Where the trees are three-hundred feet tall and breathe fire!

(scene shifts back to Yemma's office)

KING YEMMA: From these trees, this desk was forged 2,000 years ago! Using ancient blood-rituals of the Malchior people! (shows a group of Malchior people all with the heads of Lanipator grunting)

(scene shifts back to Yemma's office)

KING YEMMA: Not only does this make my desk nigh indestructible, but it can bend the fabric of the universe itself! Also, it's a very fine material—very expensive.

MICHAEL: Ooookay?

KING YEMMA: (quickly) Mahogany.

"I think that was an attempt to distract us from that last scene." Azazel managed to squeak out. "Didn't work." He added, making everyone nod in agreement. They now had a new nightmare. Unhinged Ophis.

Once again, many thanks to everyone for following along. Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as we enjoyed writing this out. We especially hope you like our choice of characters.

That's it for now. Please Favorite, Follow, and Review. But most of all, thank you for reading!