Chapter Six
"You and I," her voice hung in the air, "need to talk."
The original stood before me, neither shorter nor taller than I. Rather, we were exactly at eye level. The golden lights of the restaurant reflected in the original's irises.
She… she wants to talk?!
My hand tightened around the knife as I tried to comprehend the meaning behind her words. What could she want to talk about? Was it my errant actions, my stepping out of line? Or maybe my very existence as an aberration?
I sucked in a breath, the taste of burnt steak assaulting my senses.
"Nothing to say for yourself?" A chair screeched against the hardwood floor, the table shaking. The original sat down, crossed her legs, and reclined backward. "Then I'll start. What were you doing with my friends?"
I remained standing, dread pooling in my stomach. My jaw was clenched and my lips refused to move. Despite looking down on the girl, the disparity between us seemed to only grow as she casually lounged on the chair.
The original narrowed her eyes with a twinge of frustration. "I guess I should be glad that hanging out was the only thing you did."
Even as my heart hammered in my chest, the adrenaline fell out of focus. Figures danced in the reflection of the large windows. There was a clattering of shoes. Shadows curved and curled in the background.
But it was all unimportant. The gears in my head turned; thoughts and ideas pieced themselves together.
She wants to know 'what' I was doing with her friends. Not my literal actions, but my intentions.
She already knows about the clones. Otherwise, this conversation would be going in a very different direction. And if that's the case, she probably doesn't know much about my existence.
Maybe I can work with this.
A plan took hold and I relaxed my features. There was little I could do about the knife in my hand, nor the fear that took hold of my heart. But I was confident in my ability to pretend.
Tilting my head, I worked the tension out of my shoulders. "'MISAKA is unsure of what you are referring to,' MISAKA says truthfully."
For a moment, confusion flashed across the original's face. Her gaze was scrutinizing. Her lips pursed. Then, without warning-
Jagged sparks flew from my temple as I hissed in discomfort. The knife fell to the floor with a clink.
"As if!" The Railgun's voice raised as she pounded the table. Then she leaned forward. "You may look and sound exactly like the others, but I can sense the difference," she said in a low voice. "Your acting is good enough to trick my friends, but tricks like that won't work on me."
She rose from her seat, a heavy scowl on her face. "It's one thing to go after me, but my friends are innocent. If you go near them again… there will be consequences."
My mouth loosened as I chewed on the original's words. I could see an equally shocked expression cut across a dozen silver utensils. Split and scattered—fractured like the girl in question.
She claimed her friends to be innocent.
But she wasn't.
I had hoped—truly wished—that the original wasn't complicit in the experiment. It sounded just like the plot of an anime. A secret cloning experiment slowly uncovered by the main protagonist. Lots of fun character exploration with the idea.
I thought her friends seemed a bit too normal to know about the Level 6 Shift. I guess the original has been keeping secrets.
My teeth cut the inside of my cheek.
Ah… that's unfortunate.
Ligaments strained and muscles contracted. Emotions swirled in my head like a slurry of molten metal. Everything around me seemed to disappear. I was left only with one person. One reprehensible, disgusting, evil monster.
"Consequences, you say?"
The original frowned—leaning forward—her hands creasing the pristine tablecloth.
"As if you have any right to make threats. Whose fault is it that the experiment exists in the first place?!" I growled out.
The original froze in place, as though she'd seen a ghost. I didn't give it any thought and took advantage of the opportunity.
"Day by day, I'm living under the heel of the experiment. I have no freedoms, no liberty, no rights! I'm a tool, a lab rat! 180,000 yen for this meat doll, ready for the grinder." I slammed my chest with my fist, gritting my teeth.
"Hiding in the shadows; stilling my breath in fear of being caught; complete isolation from friends and family. I am nobody! I don't have the luxury of even worrying about the safety of loved ones!"
I took a breath, spittle dripping down my chin. "I cannot win. I have no power, no authority, no agency. Not even my own life belongs to me. And I'm expected to face the fu-" I ran out of air, choking on spit.
My next words came out a scratchy mess. "You have the gall to complain about your friends to me? Drop dead!"
A quiet hum remained in the aftermath of my outburst. My lungs felt like lead as I watched the original stagger back, flinching against her chair.
She stared at me, eyes contracted.
"Y-you're lying." The Railgun's voice started weak, slowly regaining its original fervor. "This is some sick, twisted trick. The scientists sent you! Sent you to hurt me- hurt my friends because I'm messing with the experiment!" There was a frantic look in the girl's eyes. She scrambled for rationalization after rationalization.
An arm reached out, desperation seeping from each movement. "I couldn't have caused-"
This time, I stumbled back, avoiding the girl's hand. Something slipped out of my pocket.
Cautiously turning my head, I glanced at the object. It was a yellow and green pin—the Gekota badge from the day before. My eyebrows scrunched together.
That shouldn't have been there. How did it get there?
Returning my attention to the original, I found her in an even worse state. Her skin had paled considerably. Her chest rose and fell erratically. Her gaze remained fixed on the badge on the floor.
The girl's voice was barely above a whisper. "Where did you get that?"
Something's wrong, a warning whispered in the back of my mind.
The whisper was drowned out by a voracious growl within my soul. A repugnant desire stirred within me. It desired vindication. To eat at her vulnerability. To feast in delight, indulge in vengeance.
I would hurt her. Just as she did to me.
"Oh, that?" I leaned down, snatching the pin. "It's a gift from one of your 'precious' friends. How's it look?"
Unlatching the badge, I stuck it onto my vest for the original to see.
The girl wasn't listening to me anymore. I wasn't sure if she could even see me. In all of the anger, the hate, the rage, I finally struck the original. Cut into her heart in a way I could've only dreamed.
It was hollow.
Somehow, the vacancy in my chest only widened. Wind rushed from one side and out the other. I had avenged the thousands of clones. Brought retribution to the source of all their suffering!
Was it worth it?
In front of me was a young girl. Fourteen at most. She was hyperventilating, oblivious to the world around her. Her hands grasped at something unseen. Her mouth opened and closed without sound.
Are you a hero now?
I clutched my vest, horror etching its way into my soul. I had used my words and my actions to harm a teen, a child.
What am I doing?
I slowly glanced around. The restaurant was completely empty. Not a single customer or employee remained. The golden lights of the chandeliers shone from above.
Guilt wormed its way into my heart. Shame permeated my whole being. Fear rose in response. I needed to get away. To run. To hide. Cover up all that had transpired. I couldn't have done this, I couldn't have!
I need to get out of here.
If I didn't leave right this moment, then Judgment or Anti-Skill would arrive. We'd made a big scene. Confronted by either- I wasn't in the right mental state to even attempt evading them.
That's right! I needed to leave right away. Nothing should've held me back. I could escape into the night without a worry. Sleep this horrible nightmare away.
But I remained in place.
Why aren't I moving?!
My gaze slowly turned back to the girl who started it all. Her skin was pale as snow. Hair matted and messy, clashing with her high class uniform. Her eyes were bloodshot, likely a result of little to no sleep.
I can't.
This girl put me through absolute hell. Allowed thousands upon thousands to die for the sake of one.
I really can't!
And in this instance, she appeared no different than any other traumatized teenager.
No different from m-
Squeezing my eyes shut, I finally stepped past the table. My right hand was empty, save for the nails digging into my palm. My left—contrarily—held on to a trembling, sweaty wrist.
V V V
The sun had set, leaving the park in near darkness, save for a single LED-based lamp post. The harsh white light reflected off a plastic slide, bouncing across a shallow sandbox.
A soft metal whine permeated the air as a swing gently swayed. The original sat next to me, motionless. Her bangs obscured her eyes as she hung her head.
My legs rocked the swing back and forth, but only by a scant amount.
The original exhaled through her nose, sitting a bit straighter. I stopped the swing and prepared myself to strain my ears.
"Why did you… take me with you? Don't you hate me?"
Bile built in the back of my throat, just thinking of the experience. I fell the dirt beneath my shoes, grounding me in reality. "Maybe I do. But that doesn't give me the right to do what I did. Say what I said."
"But you do!" The girl shouted, gaze still fixed to the ground. "I'm the one who's to blame. It's only fair…"
I remained silent for just a bit longer before I let out a sigh. "What exactly is your involvement in the experiment?"
The girl went stock-still, fingers tightly gripping the chains of the swing. Looking up, her hair uncovered her expression. Her eyes were screwed shut. Her lips squished together. She sniffed, nose full of mucus, before letting out a shuddered exhale.
"S-sorry. I…" She sniffed again, covering her eyes with her forearm. Soon enough, her shoulders relaxed. "When I was younger, I took part in a tour of a medical research center. While we passed an observation window, I saw kids suffering from muscular dystrophy. It… it's a fatal condition."
A light breeze slithered past us, inky black bushes swaying with the wind. I shivered, rubbing my hands against my arms.
"The scientist who was guiding me offered me the chance to help them. Being the idiot that I was, I willingly gave up my DNA map. It's my fault that this is all happening. I'm… I'm so sorry."
I turned my head to fully look at the girl. She was completely and utterly pathetic. That energy that radiated from her was no more. She was a completely different person, dejection clinging to her like a wet rag.
Is… Is that it?
"W-what about the Level 6 Shift? How were you involved in that?" I blurted out, a foreboding feeling hanging over me.
The girl let out a mirthless chuckle. "I only found out about it recently. Honestly, when I learned about being cloned, I was expecting someone more like you. Not, well, the Sisters."
Sitting there, I stewed in disbelief.
I had hated this girl. From the bottom of my heart, I hated her. Every day, I thought about what she was doing. How she must've been cackling from her fancy shmancy dorm, knowing her legacy was secure.
This… this child! She was burdened in a way I couldn't even imagine. All for something that wasn't her own damn fault.
My teeth clenched at the thought and my thoughts briefly became muddled. There was anger, so much anger that I could feel it sizzling below the surface of my skin.
But it was different. It wasn't self-righteous, self-aggrandizing rage.
Misaka took her eyes off the ground and looked at me. Her eyes were slightly swollen and her nose was red. There was a hesitance in her movements as she braced herself for the worst.
I met her gaze, a frown pulling at my features. It tore at me as I saw this broken child. It was unfair. Without righteousness or justice at all! Everything about this situation was reprehensible. A sickness. A blight on the face of the planet.
"Let me make myself completely clear. I do not blame you for a second. You are not at fault for this experiment. Not even the tiniest amount."
"But-"
"I'm sorry for blaming you," I interrupt softly, not needing to raise my voice. "I made a mistake and I was wrong. I may not be able to convince you, but you've shown me you aren't at fault. I won't blame you. Not now and not till the end of time. I promise you that."
Grasping at her skirt, Misaka broke eye contact, tears beginning to swell. "No… You can't… I brought on this situation. It is my fault. Y-you have no right to say otherwise!"
I sighed, shaking my head. My feet pressed against the ground as I got up and stood in front of the girl. Sin and shame poked at my heart as I stared at the former object of my hate. I hide it behind a smile, crouching down to get in the girl's face.
"Y'know, I think you ought to be less harsh on yourself." Misaka wasn't the one who willingly left a clone to die, after all.
The girl flinched, not noticing my change in position. "What are you-" I wrapped my arms around her, holding her firmly. Securely.
Misaka let out a stuttered gasp, arms awkwardly hanging by her side. The swing shifted, so I adjusted my legs to keep balance.
Holding the position, I idly wondered if I should've asked to hug first. It was the polite thing to do, but the heat of the moment and all that.
Gradually, Misaka returned the embrace. I could feel my shoulder grow moist as she dug her face into my vest.
It was… nice. Warm and familial in a way I hadn't experienced in a long time. I meant to hold Misaka for her sake, but I found myself leaning deeper into it. But I couldn't forget my place.
I gently rubbed the girl's back.
…
How much time passed, I couldn't say. Eventually, Misaka disengaged from the hug and I took a step back—returning to my swing.
"You, uh-" Misaka floundered as she attempted to break the silence. "Could I get your name? I don't want to keep calling you, well, 'you'."
I raised a brow, giving a thoughtful hum.
A name, huh? Do I even have… well, I guess I do, don't I?
Bringing my focus back to Misaka, I found her flustered and pale-faced. She brought up her hands, waving as though the topic were a thin mist to be blown away. "I didn't mean- You don't have to answer that-"
"Ichigo. My name is Ichigo."
As Misaka's expression grew incredulous, I couldn't hold myself back. A laugh bubbled to the surface, freeing itself from my lips. I pushed down, quieting myself as the girl's hue shifted to a bright red.
Letting out an exasperated huff, Misaka crossed her arms and glanced away. "Ichigo, huh? It's a nice name. Did you pick it yourself?"
"No," I shook my head, a small smile taking form. "It was… given to me. Not my first choice, but I think that's for the best. I wouldn't want the responsibility of choosing my own name."
The swing squeaked as I stared into the night sky. Not a single star in sight, courtesy of the city's light pollution. "It's funny, 'Ichigo' isn't really my name. At least, not initially. It was 'Ichigou', written with the kanji 一 (Ichi) and 号 (Gou). A little girl came up with the name. She pulled it from my 'serial number'."
I repressed a grimace at the reminder of my inhumanity. "Ichi, from the first digit of the serial; and gou from the shorthand for number, 番号 (Bangou). Ichigou doesn't quite flow off the tongue like Ichigo does."
"I see." Misaka gripped the chains of the swing, knuckles turning white. "I want to apologize for accusing you like I did, Ichigo. I… I want to explain why I did that."
"Hm? Isn't it because you thought 'the scientists sent me'? You were just worried about your friend's safety. But, uh, apology accepted."
"No, not like- ugh!" The girl leapt to her feet, back towards me. Her fists tightened by her sides. "I thought you were a unique clone from the scientists. That you were threatening my friends because of what I've been doing to the experiment. But you were just- you were just…!"
I reached out and stopped her now vacant swing from swaying. Rising from my own seat, I walked forward and stopped beside Misaka, nudging her with my elbow. She flinched, but didn't look my way. "You're doing something about the experiment?"
"Mhm." Misaka's stance was tense, even as she let out a breath. "I've been destroying the different facilities supporting the project."
"That's… that's cool." I blinked, mind catching up with my ears. "You're doing all that alone?"
"What else can I do? It's my responsibility." Stubborn as a mule, Misaka held her ground without me saying a thing. I could tell the argument ended before I could fire the first shot.
"If you say so." I muttered, tapping the heel of my shoe against the ground. We stood around for a bit longer, falling back into an uncomfortable silence.
Misaka brushed down her skirt and retrieved a phone from her pocket. Her eyes squinted as harsh blue light washed over her features. A slight scowl marred her countenance as she snapped the green phone shut. "It's getting late. I need to get going."
"Oh, uh, sure. Good luck with the… experiment and stuff." I rubbed my hands together, if only to give myself something to do. I considered trying to stop Misaka. Or maybe offering some support. But honestly, what could I do that a Level 5 couldn't? For all I knew, she was perfectly capable of ending the experiment.
I doubted that, however. She was still third-ranked.
"Wait," the girl turned to face me with a contemplative look. "Give me your num- I mean, your address. I'll meet with you tomorrow."
I skeptically considered the girl. "Don't you have better things to be doing?"
"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" Despite the incredulous tone Misaka held, I could tell she was starting to get just as tired as myself.
Holding back a yawn, I could only quietly sigh and oblige, rattling off the street name and apartment number to the girl.
"I'll be there, Ichigo. Count on it." Without any fanfare, Misaka spun on her heel and walked away. She probably thought it was a cool exit, but I could only shake my head.
So that's the original. She's… different.
I tilted my head back, returning my gaze to the void filled sky. Crickets chirped and critters crunched and crawled in the night. The harsh white lamp flickered.
Maybe I would wait just a bit longer. Standing alone in the cold, surrounded by a distant ever moving city. It was a little nostalgic.
But only a little.