Vader knelt, and looked up at the holoprojector.

"What is thy bidding, my master?" he asked, as the Emperor's image shimmered into being over him.

"There is a great disturbance in the Force," the Emperor stated.

"I have felt it," Vader replied, because he had, and if you didn't make that clear straight away then you were going to be lectured at length about exactly what the disturbance had been like.

"We have a new enemy," the Emperor continued. "Luke Skywalker."

Vader blinked.

Since he was wearing a full-face helmet, that didn't really come across from the outside, and he just sort of knelt there staring at the hologram for several seconds.

"What." he said.

"Luke… Skywalker," the Emperor repeated, somewhat testily. "The one who blew up the Death Star."

"Was that his kriffing name?" Vader demanded. "Why am I always the last to know these things?"

"Vader," the Emperor said, warning in his tone.

Vader wasn't particularly interested in listening.

"The Death Star blew up three years ago," he said. "And I'm supposed to find out I had a son on a Holocall? You didn't even lead up to it!"

"Vader!" the Emperor tried, more forcefully this time.

"And what kind of way to break it to me is that, anyway?" Vader continued, not noticing the Emperor's use of Force Fultone and putting more stress on his vocoder than it had been through in a long while. "We have a new enemy. Really?"

"Vader, I am talking to you!" Palpatine snapped.

"That was an incredibly bad way to break something to me," Vader expounded. "And believe me, I have experience with having things broken to me in incredibly bad ways…"

His voice turned a bit more contemplative, or at least as much as it could. "Damn good pilot, though. I wonder how much of his mother there is in him."

"Vader, cease this prattle!" the Emperor said. "Luke Skywalker could destroy us!"

"Yeah, probably," Vader replied, in a somewhat absent minded way. "Combine Padme's talent with wrecking the careers of politicians and my generalized skill at murder and I bet he could… wait… was he one of the ones who rescued the Princess?"

The Emperor sighed. "Vader, you are not taking this seriously! This boy is a great risk to us!"

As far as Vader was concerned, he was taking it seriously.

"Must have got some training from Obi-Wan," he said. "Damn. Poor kid. That ship came from Tatooine, right? Which means… he hid my son in the one place I wouldn't look. A planet of sand populated by my inlaws."

The dark face of Imperial terror across the galaxy shook his head wryly. "He's very good."

"VADER!" the Emperor shouted.

"What?" Vader replied, looking up. "Oh, yeah, right. I resign."

The Emperor looked very much like he was having an aneurysm.

"You can't resign!" he said. "You're a Sith lord!"

"Oh, really?" Vader replied. "One – Senators aren't allowed to become dictators, but, oh look. Two – how exactly are you going to stop me? I'm sixty thousand light years away. Or are you going to call your special enforcer, the bane of the galaxy, the one who slays all the last remnants of the Jedi?"

Vader indicated himself. "Sorry. He's busy."

The Emperor seemed to be too angry to speak so Anakin kept going. "I suppose there is that assassin you've got who can defeat me. You know. Darth NotReal."

Darth Vader got a massively expanded view of a vein twitching on Palpatine's forehead.

"You will witness the true power of the Dark Side!" he shouted, gesturing, then the holocall cut out.

Vader frowned for a moment.

"I think someone just blew up their holorecorder trying to use Force Lightning over the holonet," he said, then tapped a control. "This is Darth Vader. I am leaving the ship on a personal mission. If anyone gets in the way I will cut them in half, unless I am in a bad mood."

His son was probably seriously in need of training.

AN:

Finding out you have a son over a Holozoom call is awkward enough.