Ch. 2

She dropped the phone from her hand as soon as she ended the call. Anakin? What kind of disaster was this turning into? What had she done in a past life to be punished like this? Everything felt nauseating. She appreciated how delicately Sola wanted to tell her the news, but she may have been better off shocked on the spot. Now she would be overthinking everything she did, said, wore, everything for the entirety of her vacation. Just the thought of him sent a chill through her body, which was completely uncalled for.

"Get it together." She muttered to herself. "He's just a man, you meet men every day, you just happen to have a…history with this one." And it was quite a history. She didn't like to dwell on her less than stellar moments, so she did her best to avoid thinking of Anakin as much as possible. Or when she did, only of the better days. Her Ani. He was one of the few people she met in her entire life that was always undoubtedly genuine. Every word that he muttered dripped with honesty.

She met Anakin when he was only a little boy, his family had moved in her neighborhood. The other girls, namely Dormé and Sabé, thought the way Anakin doted on her as a child was hilarious, especially the day he asked if she was an angel. She didn't think they would ever stop laughing when she told them what happened. She would have been mortified if they had witnessed it, and Anakin probably would've been incredibly embarrassed. She was 5 years older than him, though, so they hardly ran in the same circles growing up. While Padmé was away at Harvard the first time, for her AB in government, she periodically checked in with her high school to tell them what she was up to. It was through their newsletters she saw Anakin received a scholarship to attend for his promising skillset with mechanical engineering and robotics, which should have set him up nicely for college and his career.

She graduated Harvard the previous spring and was taking a year to study for her LSAT. For that endeavor, she moved back in with her parents who agreed to let her stay so long as she was studying and applying to law school. Both Ruwee and Jobal thought it was a great idea, though Padmé wasn't sure she wanted to be a litigator more than a politician. Nevertheless, she could see herself being content enough in the legal field, and it felt safer than politics. Anakin hadn't decided what he would do next, so he was still living at home when she moved back. He was not the boy she knew growing up anymore. If not for her seeing his senior headshot in the newsletter, she hardly would have recognized him. Now, she could hardly sit outside without noticing him usually tinkering with something in his garage, frequently fixing his mom's car so she could get to and from work. She loved Shmi, who was a wonderful mother, doing everything she could to raise Anakin on her own. And she had done a great job - they were so close. Padmé knew plenty of men much older than him that would've never done all he had for her.

At first, she would just catch Anakin eyeing her from across the street when he thought she wasn't looking. But as the summer progressed, she found herself making up excuses to be around him. Making up stories about things she needed his help with. Lying about things she couldn't do without him. He had started growing his hair out, now his dark blonde curls hung around his more chiseled jaw, complimenting his naturally tanned skin. But all of that was nothing compared to his deep blue eyes, which she could've sworn peered directly into her soul. Honestly, she could've gone swimming in them. All he had to do was to give her that look and despite him not knowing it, she would've been putty in his hands…

Padmé woke up with a thud. Her daydream must have turned into a real dream as she apparently nodded off, before falling off her couch. "Ughhhhh." She picked herself up and shook her head, hoping to shake off the memories of that summer, and every day after that until it was all over for good. She took her wine glass to the sink, grabbed her phone off the table, washed her makeup off in the bathroom and finally climbed into bed.

If she was a betting woman, she could have made some serious cash on the premise that would've been the worst night's sleep possibly in her life. And that comparison included the bar exam prep nights, law school finals, hell, even election nights. How was any of this supposed to work out? She had more faith in herself being bombarded by the press than she did in possibly facing Anakin. Would he even speak to her? Look at her?

She could hear her phone buzzing incessantly and hoped it wasn't one more crisis to sort out. It wasn't - at least not completely. Dormé had sent over the details for her private flight, and how they were going to get around staying rather anonymous with her face and name trending on Twitter and everywhere else. Palpatine was already taking advantage of the mess and arranging media appearances to "discuss" what may have caused her reaction. Her rant in the senate would never go away if the reporters could flag her down and shove microphones and cameras in her face asking for a response to whatever nonsense he'd say.

Since the senate wasn't in session, it should be easier to appear to be places she wasn't. Dormé arranged for her to fly home in… secret, kind of. She'd go back to Boston, keeping the news just between her team and her family, and Dormé would camp out at the house. Just… an illusion of sorts so there'd still be a dark brunette seen coming and going from her place occasionally but giving her more freedom for being elsewhere. It wasn't a perfect plan, but it was probably the most likely for success unless she really wanted to be barricaded in her DC townhouse for the whole month with camera crews parked outside. Dormé's message also mentioned that she'd be over at the house around 9:30 and it was… Padmé checked the clock. 9:08!

She sprung out of bed, running to the bathroom to hastily work to look more alive than she felt. She had just enough time to tie her hair into a couple messy buns and take a shower before she heard the doorbell.

"Padmé! It's me, I'm just gonna use my key." Dormé shouted through the door before the lock clicked open.

Padmé wrapped the towel around herself and hurried into her bedroom. "I'm in here, but I'm not ready so… make yourself at home."

"Like you even had to tell me." Dormé dropped her bags behind the couch before making her way to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee and open the blinds. "Padmé, you really need an espresso machine. How do you even function every day on regular coffee?" She scoffed. For someone hellbent on insisting she wasn't living an average existence, her house told a different story.

Padmé did live modestly; she clearly made the sacrifices to make sure she paid her staff well. Dormé had enough friends all over the Hill to know as much, especially for the "lower level" positions that were there mostly for seeking out dirt by hanging around the bars. Newcomers to DC would kill for those positions. They worked for Dormé, almost exclusively, and frequently without Padmé's knowledge. She probably would have objected and Dormé didn't need her opinions on the necessary evils to get the job done. Everyone talks in hush tones in DC, and to be successful you needed ears everywhere.

Most of her apartment looked like something that could've been found on an IKEA showroom floor. All her furniture was modern, plain. No fancy artwork, designer finishes, elaborate décor, just sleek, clean edges, and something that felt very…well… Padmé. Her walls were covered with photos of her family, of her friends and team at various highlights of her life. There were massive group photos from her college and law school graduations, ones of her and her three closest confidants after senate election results were in, official photos with dignitaries and leaders she had met with. There were photos from her time in the state house with the governor, local business leaders, and of course, one of the greatest moments in her career so far – a large print of a photo taken off to the side of her, smiling and waving to the crowd of clapping hands, in a standing ovation, after her massive Democratic National Convention speech. Looking at her fridge was more of the same, but a little less… official or formal. There, you'd find wedding and birthday announcements, Christmas cards, and silly candid photos or selfies like the one Dormé particularly loved of her and Sabé clanking champagne flutes, grinning so wide their eyes were squinted shut, with Padmé in the background flipping them off as her date leaned over her shoulder to shake someone's hand.

Looking around her space, it was clear what mattered to her – people. People she loved. People she worked with. People she worked for. She wanted to keep the attention on the issues, rather than on her clothing choices or the price of her handbag. Dormé was pretty sure the most expensive thing in the whole place was her wine collection, which she would happily be dipping into during her "staycation" playing Padmé.

"Aren't you ready yet? What are you doing, packing the entire apartment?" Dormé made her way down the hall, thermos of coffee for Padmé in her hand.

"I just need a second, I swear." Padmé slumped down on the floor, resting her back on the side of her bed. The news about running into Anakin was really starting to bother her, and then being bothered irritated her further.

It's not as if she had completely lost track of the man - he'd only managed to get harder to lose as time went on. She knew shortly after their break-up more than halfway through her law school career that he had enlisted in the military. It was part of what drove them apart to begin with. She thought his talents were much better served in the civilian life, she thought he could've gotten a job with Department of Defense, or NASA, if he would've finished his degree. His engineering skills would have been sought after by every big firm, department, whatever. She was sure of it, but he wasn't open to listening to reason. After his mom had gotten sick, he couldn't handle it, he dropped out of school and that's when all the problems began. He was different, inconsolable. That was all the more reason she thought it was an awful idea for him to enlist, she was afraid of who he might become, who he would return home as. She wasn't sure she could handle it either when she was finally honest with herself.

10 years ago:

She had foregone a huge opportunity for her second-year summer internship at a massive law firm in New York to stay in Boston for him. It probably was another one of her bad decisions, but she was sort of on a roll with them. She would've done anything for Anakin, and she did – she threw out her best judgement time and time again – all for him. Not that he wasn't grateful, or he was undeserving of that, but the path he had started going down worried Padmé. She wanted him to start therapy and find an outlet for his anger. He didn't seem to understand why any of that was important, his only concern was finding a treatment for his mom and being with Padmé.

They spent every moment humanly possible together. Sometimes it was exhausting but she was trying to do everything she could to be with him through it all. She was sharing an apartment with Dormé and Sabé who both had their own law school commitments, and he practically lived there too. They tried to pretend they were fine with the arrangement, but she knew his outbursts were really beginning to weigh on everyone. She worked intense hours at the firm trying to prove herself and had more networking events than she anticipated which led to way too many intense arguments with him about her dedication to her career over their relationship.

It wasn't true, and he knew it, which consistently led to his apologizing, her forgiveness. Most of the nights, especially after their worst fights, they made love and stayed up way too late talking about everything. Those were the moments she cherished, the ones she could get lost in. In the quiet of the night, they were just her Ani and his angel, and the rest of the world and its problems faded away. Then the night would turn to morning, and she'd be forced to untangle herself from his warmth to face the real world.

The last altercation they had in that apartment was by far the worst. He didn't want her to go to an extremely important event at a local bar with her colleagues from the firm. But the junior partners would be there, and it was one of the final events of the summer - it was inexcusable for her to not attend. She was still hoping for an offer from the firm, deciding she could stay in the Boston area permanently, despite that not being her first choice. It was her 'Hail Mary' attempt at dissuading him from joining the military. She tried to explain as much to him and get him to see she was making sacrifices for him so why was it such a disaster to ask him to do the same. He, once again, did not share her perspective. She was getting sick and tired of his double standards over decisions he made for himself being only for him, while hers were always supposed to be in the best interest of them both.

"Anakin, I have to go, it's non-negotiable. I've given up so much this summer, I'm not giving up this."

"I am so sorry to be holding you back, Padmé." He said flippantly, throwing his arms up in disgust.

"That's… that's not what I said or meant. You aren't listening to me; you haven't been listening to me for months." She shook her head, exasperated, and walked away from him into her closet. "You want me to be the bad guy here when all I try to do is be on your side!"

He sprung up, coming up behind her and pulling her into his chest. "I'm sorry, angel. I…I just can't lose you. I won't lose you."

Padmé pulled away from him turning around and bracing her hands against his chest, "I can't keep having this conversation with you. I think… Maybe we need some space."

"Oh, so that's how it is now?" He stepped away, looking at her in a way she rarely saw and never directed at her. "You don't want to be with me anymore, is that it? You're giving up?"

She put her face in her hands and yelled before looking back at him, still glaring at her. She wasn't comfortable being trapped in her closet as he stood blocking the doorway. "Anakin, you're being infuriating. Get out of my way. I won't do this. I have to go," she moved to get past him, and he grabbed her wrist, firmly.

"Let. Go." She pulled against his grip trying to squeeze through the door. He stared at her a moment longer, neither of them backing down. She reluctantly decided to soften her tone and hope to smooth things over. She fought back the urge to roll her eyes, determined to be the level-headed person in the room. This wasn't how she wanted to start her night. "Ani… Come on," she said softly, rubbing his arm with her other hand. "You have to let me go, I have to go to this, and I'll be back before you know it. I promise."

He loosened his grip enough at the sound of his nickname rolling off her tongue that she was able to quickly move to the center of her room to resume staring at him. He recovered his defensive stance, jaw clenched, looking at her. Here we go again. "I don't want you to go. I'm telling you not to go."

"Telling me? Anakin you don't own me, you don't tell me anything. I'm going, end of discussion, and if you don't like it…" They were talking over each other at this point, his face getting redder by the moment, both of their tones getting louder and sharper as they tried to be the one with the final word before…

"Damn it, Padmé, I said don't go!" He turned away from her so fast, it happened in an instant. He rammed his fist through her closet door and the rest of her words caught in her throat in stunned silence.

At the sound of it, Sabé was knocking at the door almost immediately. "Padmé? What's going on?"

She was slowly backing away from him as he was still staring toward the back of the closet breathing heavily. "Nothing…it-it's f-fine Sabé," she stuttered.

The knocking continued now followed by both Dormé and Sabé asking for her to unlock the door. It felt like time was moving in slow motion as he turned back to face her. She hadn't ever been truly scared of anyone until this very moment. She was pretty sure he would never hurt her; he always was concerned with her protection. She worried about him hurting someone else in the name of that protection all the time, but in this moment, she was starting to doubt her assurance. She steadied her breath, trying to not let the dark look on his face unsettle her further before she spoke, "Anakin… I think you need to leave."

"Fine." That was his only response. This time he rushed past her and swung the door open, storming out of the apartment. Sabé and Dormé quickly moved out of his way and Padmé rushed out after him.

"I can't… I won't do this again. You need to get help; you need to do something… Anakin, you're breaking my heart. If you walk out that door, I…don't want to hear from you again until you do. I tried… I love you! I wanted to help you! I…"

He looked back at her one last time in the middle of her pleading with him before pulling the hood of his jacket over his head and slamming the door behind him. Sabé and Dormé rushed over as her legs gave out and she dropped to the floor sobbing. The three of them sat there in a huddle for what seemed like forever, until she finally pulled herself together and put on her best brave face to make it through the mixer that had now changed her entire life.

The event ended up being worth it for her professional life, but definitely not for her personal life since she never heard from Anakin again. She cried for weeks on end, spending countless hours awake at night replaying the events. Dormé and Sabé ended up convincing her to see a therapist as well, which she did once the insomnia really set in. Her family was almost as devastated about the entire situation as she was when she finally told them it was over, though she spared them the details. It was through her parents that she heard when he left for bootcamp. They were always updating her about him, she wasn't sure whether she appreciated it or not, but they meant well. Her parents had maintained a close friendship with Shmi and did as much as they could for her after her illness got worse. Padmé heard she had married someone, a nice, ordinary man that was doing his best to take care of her. Her parents got along with him fine, too, but they didn't think Anakin was much of a fan. She assumed he was way too used to the life he shared with her alone.

She found out Anakin had been deployed overseas through her sister, but that he was doing really well. She knew he would, he excelled in everything he did. She assumed the structure and discipline were really benefitting him but wondered about what sacrifices he was making. It was while he was on his first tour that her parents told her Shmi died. Then she was worried for Anakin, wishing there was a way to check on him, to talk to him. But that chapter was closed and there was no chance of reopening it. He probably didn't want to hear from her anyway, he was too prideful and self-sufficient. She debated attending the funeral, not sure if he would be there or not - if he was somewhere a leave could even be granted. That unknown led her ultimately to just not go, but her family went with her condolences to give to Shmi's husband and stepson, and Anakin if he was there. He wasn't and she regretted that he wouldn't get her message.

Padmé decided quickly that the law firm life was not for her, but Sabé was absolutely thriving. They emailed back and forth almost every week and Sabé was over the moon with the busy life in NYC, the lunches with clients, even the long hours which Padmé couldn't even begin to imagine. It was on the phone with Sabé, after a few hours of complaining about all the same parts of the job her friend bragged about loving, that she got the 'push' she needed to leave the firm for politics.

"I think you should just go for it, you're so well-connected in Boston now, you can easily spread that energy through the district. Winning that seat would be no problem. You're young, you're ambitious, you're…beautiful, which shouldn't matter but it does, and you're one of the smartest people I know." Sabé should have been Padmé's personal hype-woman every day.

"Do you really think so? I don't want to walk away from this and fall flat on my face, things are finally going alright. Should I jeopardize all of that because I'm bored with transactional law?" Padmé grumbled on the phone while she was shuffling through her latest contract to proofread.

"Yes, I do think so. You hate what you're doing. Do you know how many times you've groaned at me tonight alone? Besides, y'know Dormé has connections, she took that job working on the inside of local politics. Call her and see what she thinks, see if she thinks you have a shot."

"That's a great idea, actually." She tapped the pen impatiently on the folders on her desk. All she wanted to do was throw them out the window. Or better yet - throw them at the one associate that couldn't walk by her office without whistling at her or making a comment about her legs. Pretending to forget her name so he could snap his fingers at her when he asked for something. Sabé was right, she hated this place.

"I know, that's what you called me for." Sabé said smugly before laughing.

"And you're so humble too." Padmé laughed in return. "Okay, I have to go, for real this time. I'm slammed with contracts to look over for an entire day of meetings tomorrow, and I can't get fired before I get a chance to quit. Love you, good luck with your work, I'll call you soon." Sabé gave her love in return and Padmé hung up the phone. She sent a quick email to Dormé asking that she call and alluded to her plan to run for office. Dormé emailed her back the next day with similar thoughts to Sabé about her chances and agreed to run her campaign when she finally decided to give it a shot.

The campaign trail wasn't too different from what Padmé had been doing with her firm, it was a lot of meeting people, shaking hands, getting to know everyone and letting people get to know her. It was a bit more personal and less sterile of a process than working in law. And opening up to people's prying questions was definitely her least favorite part. On the other hand, making speeches was the biggest change, but it reminded her of her college days between mock trial and moot court. She was comfortable behind a microphone and Dormé masterfully kept her name circulating above the mudslinging happening with other contenders. Padmé whirled past her opponents in the polls, her manager made sure to stay on top of that, and after she won the primary, she was as good as gold. She was finally in her arena; the political sphere was where Padmé shined. The district loved her. She kept herself accessible, sensible, and constantly emphasized local issues.

She wasn't afraid to tackle big problems either, or to confront her adversaries. People liked to underestimate her, because of her age and the fact that her team was almost exclusively made up of women in their mid-to-late twenties, but she tried to use it to their advantage. Her supporters though, they were fiercely loyal. She was busy all the time - building community relationships, sending people from her staff into neighborhoods for strategy meetings, fighting until the last moment of speaking time for bills on the house floor. They were listing her as one of Boston's finest '30 Under 30', flagging her for speeches almost every other weekend, and her round-table discussion with different groups to talk with everyday people about their issues were so widely popular her colleagues started doing them as well. Padmé felt like she was walking on clouds, Dormé helped unleash an absolute political mastermind on the world, a balanced mix of idealism and practicality.

With her 30th birthday approaching, talk was starting to pick up speculating whether she would run for the newly opened senate seat when the current occupant had announced she wouldn't be seeking re-election. That would be a huge jump for her from the state to the national political scene. She started generating buzz with her extremely high likability ratings across the state. She also had no problem doing an obscene number of events for the political party, which only furthered her popularity internally. Then she landed herself on the stage at the national party convention, delivering one of the biggest speeches of her life. That's when everything changed.

"I think you're ready. We're ready." Dormé said. She had pulled together a conference call with Saché, Sabé's younger cousin who was about to graduate from Georgetown and had become Dormé's ear in DC, Sabé herself, Sola, and Padmé. It was more to pressure Padmé into running than a discussion. "I'm with you, all the way."

"Your speech at the convention last year generated a ton of buzz Padmé, people here think you could really win this thing, they're already talking about what you'll do next. I've heard from some of the staffers that the senior party members are already discussing what they'll do when you join them, not if." Saché confirmed.

"Are we really going for it? I mean, I know the speech got some national attention, and the media loved it, but I worked so hard for this community." Padmé couldn't decide if she was ready for the next step, and the Senate was a massive next step.

"I feel like we've had this same conversation with you at every step of your education and career and look at what you've accomplished." Sabé was the one to say it, but Sola and Dormé were quick to agree.

"I can put out some extra feelers, both here and in DC, if Saché can handle that, and we can go from there?" Dormé asked, but Padmé had to assume that wasn't really a question and it had probably already been done.

"Alright, but if this is the time I fall on my face…it's all of your faults." And of course, she knew deep down that wasn't going to happen.

It was the same as before, she wasn't sure how they pulled it off in the end, but they had. Election night results were in before midnight, with Padmé coming out the clear winner with wider margins than even the most favorable polls. Everyone that mattered was there with her on election night because this was huge. Surrounded by her family and friends that night was everything, she had never been so happy.