Ch. 3

5 years ago:

After being elected to the Senate, she didn't have a ton of time to date but she agreed to a few of Dormé's plans to set her up. Some of the non-political news media was referring to her as "DC's most sought-after Senator." She didn't love that, but occasional flattery was nice? Most of them amounted to a single painful dinner, a kiss on the cheek, and separate cars to their respective homes afterwards. The first serious public relationship was Palo. He was a semi-famous, ultra-talented musician and artist. He was also a snooze fest. He droned on and on while they were out to dinner about things Padmé could hardly care less about, and he rarely shared an interest with her on anything. She wasn't sure they ever had a single meaningful conversation. She was barely sure they'd even had a conversation. It was a lot of standing by each other's sides, looking pretty, pretending it was everything she'd dreamed of.

They kept up the charade for about six months before not even sleeping together was making it worth it. "Dormé, I can't anymore. The sex wasn't great to begin with and now it's the only thing I find bearable about the man." Dormé laughed so hard she cried before she prepared a statement for her to release announcing their split. Padmé didn't find anything about the situation amusing but Dormé insisted she would one day. That day never came, but in hindsight Palo had started looking like the 'good' boyfriend.

Padmé's senatorial career, unlike her love life, was off to a booming start though. She had multiple bills that were actually getting floor time and she had drawn hardlines on hot button issues – the environment, healthcare, women's rights – all of which her closest colleagues, Senators Organa and Mothma, had supported her on. With Saché running her front office and Dormé directing behind the scenes, she couldn't imagine things going better.

She eventually was back out on the dating scene and started seeing an up-and-coming hotshot lawyer, Rush Clovis. He approached her at a public event to discuss a particular bill she had drafted, and it was one of the best conversations she'd had with anyone interested in her romantically. After a handful of dates and public sightings, she finally agreed to his official proposal to 'go public.' From there, things were on an upward trajectory. They attended all the formal events together, him being more than happy to go to every dinner, gala, and fundraiser she was expected to attend. He adored her – gifts, gestures, fancy dinners – things felt… settled. The media absolutely loved it, they were already speculating about engagements, marriage, and them starting a family.

Padmé also started contemplating some of those things until somewhere in the second year of their relationship, when Rush started to seem more interested in his image than in their relationship. Especially as he talked more and more about his own chances in an election. A senate seat, at that.

"Can you believe it? They love us," he said one night as he was taking off his cufflinks and watch after they arrived home from a political fundraiser. "I mean, seriously, they can't get enough."

"It does seem that way," Padmé said with an awkward laugh as she took her earrings out and laid them on the dresser. She watched him admiring himself in the mirror and it made her stomach churn. He was still rambling on about himself and their popularity when she interrupted him, "Could you unzip me please?" She pulled her hair over one shoulder as he strolled over to help her out of her dress.

"I could do more than that…if you'd like." He whispered in her ear and smirked against her cheek as he unzipped her dress. She let it pool around her feet and temporarily got lost in his touch as he trailed kisses down her back. "I think I'd like that," she smiled to herself and forced his prior self-indulgence out of her mind.

That lasted no time once she found herself sitting awake staring at him, sleeping like a rock next to her. Their…escapade…was satisfying to only one of them before someone tapped out and promptly fell asleep, halfway on top of her. She shoved him off and rolled her eyes before finishing by herself and took a shower. Back in bed, she stared at him in a way she was sure would burn a hole through his skull if it could. He was so petulant. And arrogant. And… selfish. She grumbled to herself and made a mental note to tell Dormé she needed a 'media friendly' way out of the situation.

While it was friendly to the media, something about being amicable and what was 'best for everyone,' it couldn't have been worse behind the scenes. Rush was furious, and completely oblivious to how unhappy she was. He also couldn't see how any of this had been his own doing. He was well on his way to threatening her with some misbegotten form of blackmail when Dormé barged in her office. They were practically screaming at each other, and she was there to remind Padmé the room wasn't actually soundproof.

"This was your idea. All of this. It was all for you! You needed me, so the media wouldn't call you cold. Wouldn't speculate about who, if anyone, was in your bedroom!" He barked at her, pointing his finger inches away from her face.

That was one of the stupidest things she'd ever heard, not to mention how… absolutely false it was. She didn't even particularly wanta public relationship – speculation be damned, this was about him.

Padmé honestly could have hit him over the head with her stapler, "Rush, you have five seconds to get out of my office and forget you ever saw me, knew me, touched me, anything! Just… get out!" He moved to step closer to her before Dormé wedged herself between them giving Padmé the space to back up and try to think rationally.

"Fine, that's fine, you've been holding me back anyway. I got an offer to serve as counsel for your greatest opposition, maybe even position myself for my own seat finally, and I almost turned it down trying to stand by you. But that's all over now, good luck Padmé, may the games begin," Rush rubbed his hands together greedily before winking at her, which caused her to impulsively lunge toward him before Dormé caught her. He shouted something foul on his way out and slammed her office door behind him.

After he was gone Padmé picked up the small glass cup on her desk and chucked it at the wall. Her and Dormé both stared at the shattered pieces on the floor before Dormé hesitantly started to speak, "Senator Amidala…"

Padmé tilted her head back to keep the tears from falling. She took a deep breath. "Yes, what do you need from me?" She fixed her dress and folded her hands in front of her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to rush in here, I just…heard yelling and people in the hall were starting to linger…"

Padmé cut her off. "I'm not upset with you, I'm glad you were here, or that glass would have been hurled at his face instead of the wall. Just…maybe no more dating for a while." She looked to Dormé and shrugged. Both friends let out a small laugh before her trusted advisor pulled her in for a tight hug.

"Let's go out tonight so we can drink to that!" Dormé offered, grabbing Padmé's hand before she could object. "I'll have Saché close up shop, and I'll have the world's best 'revenge dress' delivered to your door before you even make it home."

"For once, that sounds like a plan." Padmé felt her cheeks flush at the thought of whatever scandalous dress Dormé was going to deliver, because it would be, but she didn't feel like turning down the opportunity. Not this time.

And since that series of disasters, in the last few years she rarely agreed to a date. Rarer yet for a second. There wasn't the time, she didn't have the energy, and not a single person had ever made… sparks fly anyway. Not like… Damn it, Anakin.

While they hadn't exactly talked at any point since their fallout, he was like a shadow she couldn't get away from. He was sweeping the nation, a common topic of discussion in DC and around the country. He had become one of America's 'golden boys.' An all-around American legend. He rose through the ranks of the Army with ease, earning the nickname the "Hero with No Fear." Every so often she came across an announcement for some speaking engagement he was doing early on after news broke of his lead on a successful major search and rescue effort. It was the first of many, lamenting him as the newest poster boy for peace in our times. Both of their careers - booming simultaneously.

Padmé did her best to dodge questions or press-ops that could've forced her to comment on his success. Some traces through history led to speculation that they knew each other, and the question was 'how well' but her office always made to downplay or not comment. She was only really caught once by a reporter in Boston asking if she had heard the troops made it home as she was leaving her podium. She managed to choke out a "No, but that's wonderful," before Dormé pulled her away.

Present day:

There was knock on her bedroom door before it started slowly creaking open. Padmé was still frozen in place. "Padmé…" Dormé hesitantly made her way over. "What's going on? I dealt with the media, the tides are starting to turn already, they're using my line about Sheev being against…" she stopped when she saw her shake her head. Sitting beside her friend, she pulled her close, "What? What is it?"

"Anakin…" That's all she managed to get out before she spiraled into a full-blown panic.

Dormé held her shoulders reminding her to breathe, "What happened? I heard he hadn't signed up again after his last tour, when he nearly lost his eye…"

"N-nothing happened. Nothing that I know of at least." Padmé pulled back, quickly wiping away the tears in her eyes. "It's just… When I told Sola I was coming home, she said she had something I might like to know and…" She got choked up again and Dormé sat there quietly before reaching out to rub her shoulder.

"He's there," she finished.

Padmé only nodded in response before pulling her knees into her chest and resting her face against her legs. "I don't think I can face him. What if he still hates me?"

"Who says you're even going to see him? You're supposed to be keeping a low profile on this trip, hanging out with the family."

"Sola said he moved in across the street. He bought the house."

Dormé rubbed the back of her own neck trying to come up with a solution to this which seemingly didn't have one. When Padmé wanted things done – they made them happen. But… Making her ex-boyfriend disappear… Or making him be happy to see her…

"Well, that was a long time ago. He's been to war, active duty, overseas, leading troops. He's a decorated hero. He's got to be a totally different person now. You're a totally different person now."

It had been over a decade. But it was so ugly. What would they even say to each other? "Hi, how are you, sorry I screamed at you/punched a hole in your wall way back when, glad to see you're doing well now"? That didn't seem like a good starter.

She had thought about him so many times, though. Every time she got a briefing packet about military matters, secretly hoping it wasn't something bad and if it was, it didn't involve Anakin. When his helicopter was shot down, she had to excuse herself to find the nearest trash can to empty the contents of her stomach into. While it was so long ago that she fell in love, she didn't think she had ever fallen out. Not completely. No matter who she had met or how hard she tried.

"I guess you're right," Padmé conceded. She felt a little silly being so emotional for no good reason about this. But she never really let herself feel much, she just went on only hearing about him passively, pretending they didn't share a history. The thought of him not wanting to speak to her was… awful. It would make her feel miserable.

"Of course I'm right! Just don't go out there and march up to him with some kind of expectation. If you run into him, naturally…" She eyed Padmé, "…then act normal. He's one of your constituents anyway, you know. Maybe he has a policy issue he wants to discuss."

Padmé snorted at the thought of Anakin needing to brief her on an issue. He hated politics, hated everything about it. Not to mention he had some of the worst political views and opinions she'd ever heard. She tried to not debate and just be thankful he had no aspirations to back.

"You're going to get tired of telling me to "act normal" when you know I don't know how," Padmé gave a weak smile before standing to her feet and grabbing her suitcases.

"You've figured out how to be the perfect daughter, perfect lawyer, perfect representative… Need I continue? You can figure out how to be normal. Just this once. It'll be fine. And Anakin's a simple man – remember that. I doubt he's going to give you some passive aggressive cold shoulder." Dormé followed her into the closet, pulling out clothes and dresses she thought appropriate for Padmé's summer wardrobe. Almost everything she owned was "work appropriate," but Dormé did her best shoving shorts, sundresses, and t-shirts at Padmé to pack. "No pantsuits, no blazers. You know what, if you wear it on the senate floor, you're banned from taking it on vacation!"

Padmé threw her hands up in defeat as she packed her bags. She took the coffee Dormé prepared on her way out the door. "You got Panaka to drive me, that was a nice touch. Very sweet, on both of your parts," Padmé pulled her friend in for a hug.

"Hey now, don't be soft on me, it makes it harder for me to be you if I have to be all sweet and kind," she handed Padmé her purse, "One more thing."

"Yes?"

"If you do get a chance, and a really good look, let me know if the "Hero" is really still as sexy as all the women say." Padmé's cheeks felt hot immediately and Dormé winked at her.

"Goodbye, Dormé!"

"Byeeeeee!" Her chief of staff called back, waving as she left.

The plane ride to Boston was both too long and not long enough. Padmé managed to take a brief nap, but that still left her plenty of time to dread actually landing and getting settled at her parents. Not to mention the fact that she was staying at her parents. There was something almost humiliating about the whole thing, being driven away from DC to go stay with her family at the age of 35. This was made all the clearer when Ruwee came to pick her up. "Dad!"

"Sweetheart!" He ran to her the second she stepped off the plane, pulling her in for a bear hug that only her father could give, "It's so good to have you here with us for a while!"

"I'm so glad to be here. And I'm actually free! I have no commitments, nowhere that's calling my attention. It's just a family trip, not a work trip."

Her dad kissed her cheek and loaded her luggage into the car before opening the passenger side door. "I just can't believe my baby is home, and for a whole month, your mother and I are so proud of you, but we miss you so. You're gone all the time. Especially since you don't stay at your house anymore…" Ruwee looked over at his daughter, his absolute pride and joy.

"I know, but it's kind of what I signed up for. I don't want to be one of those career politicians, sitting around doing nothing except running their mouth. I wanted this job to get my hands dirty." Talking with her dad was making the car ride fly by, it felt she had barely sat down before the gates were opening to her parents' neighborhood. She really didn't make it home often, she came back to the state every other weekend, but her team traveled so much, and Sola's family had moved into her place permanently. It just… never worked out.

"Yes, yes, I know. Speaking of getting your hands dirty, are these rumors true speculating about you and the highest office in the land?" Ruwee lifted an eyebrow to his youngest daughter.

"Maybe…I don't know yet. The team is still feeling it out, but I'm feeling the pressure to announce already, just from the talk of a campaign." Padmé looked down the street as they got closer to the house. She wasn't sure what she was looking for, or if she was hoping to see nothing at all.

Ruwee started talking more about the prospect of her campaign, and gave his opinion on the matter, but Padmé had started to zone out staring out the window at the truck she saw parked in the driveway across the street. The license plates read: "HWNF 92" and she knew that meant only one thing. He was home. Then she had to roll her eyes at how obnoxious that was for a license plate. She wanted to assume it wasn't his idea, but at the same time it seemed vaguely like a very cocky "Anakin" thing to do. She was shaken from her gazing as the car bumped over the edge of the driveway and into the garage.

"Well, let's get you inside! Your mother has been planning all day."

"Oh, she really didn't need to do that…"

"I know, and I told her as much, but you know her…" Her dad playfully rolled his eyes and patted Padmé's hand. "Let's go, baby girl." For the first time in a long time, it did feel good to just be home again. Without the weight of the entire state on her back - no official titles, no strategy meetings, just her dad's 'baby girl,' something she could never truly outgrow.

She climbed out of the car, throwing her purse over one shoulder and pulling the smaller of her suitcases behind her. Ruwee insisted on wrangling the largest bag into the house himself. She stepped inside the house and took a deep breath. "Mmm." Her mom must have been making something incredible. She walked down the hallway and into the kitchen. "Mom!"

"Padmé!" Jobal exclaimed, ripping off her oven mitts before nearly tackling her in an effort to hug her, "My baby, you're home!"

She laughed hugging her mom tightly, "I am!"

Jobal pulled away and stepped back to look at her daughter. Padmé took off her sunglasses and let her curls fall from their up-do. "Are you thinner now? Are you not taking the time to eat out there?" Her mom clicked her tongue. She made to block Jobal from twirling her around.

"Mom, cut it out. I'm just as small as I ever was, you just haven't seen me in so long you forgot!" Padmé was small, both in height and shape. When she was younger it bothered her, she worried she was somehow less attractive from being so petite, from having next to nothing in the way of breasts or butt. That was one thing Anakin always reassured her otherwise about. Any time she passed a mirror and doubted herself, she could hear him in the back of her mind whispering, "You are so beautiful, Padmé" and things like that were what made it so damn hard to escape memories of him in the first place.

Jobal nodded before adding sarcastically, "Ah, that must be it, I've just forgotten what my own flesh and blood looks like. It's a good thing your face is all over the national news then!" Padmé looked over at the muted television, her photo was on the screen along with a slew of opinionated tweets on the "Senatorial Sensation" – as this program had kindly dubbed it – and groaned in disgust.

"You have to turn that off, I told you not to watch the news, especially when they're saying bad things about me," Padmé grabbed the remote off the table and turned it off before she saw anything worse flash on the screen. "Never mind all of that, I don't want to talk about politics. I want to talk about what has this house smelling so good!" She grabbed her mother's hand and walked toward the stove. It looked like her mom really had been working all day, like her dad warned. "Please tell me you didn't invite too many people, Dormé said…"

Jobal pressed a finger to her daughter's lips. "I called Dormé, thank you, and talked to her myself. She thought it would be a good idea for you to be around for a dinner party, thought it would help you be natural, be normal." She smiled and Padmé scoffed. The way her mom drew out the word "normal" assured her that she must've gotten that from her chief of staff. She made a mental note to scold Dormé later. "Anyway, I didn't get carried away. Just your sister."

"Good. That works, I just don't want it to be a big deal. I'm sort of here, off the record." Padmé said with her head in the fridge now deciding which bottle of wine to take out.

"Oh, and I think Anakin said he'd drop in if he got the chance, I saw him earlier when I was getting the mail and told him I made lasagna, he always did love that."

Padmé jerked up, slamming her head against the shelf. "Anakin?!" She blurted out. "Ow…" She stepped back, holding the back of her head.

"Honey!" Jobal rushed over, "What was that about?"

"What was… Mom, did you just say Anakin was going to drop by for dinner?" Padmé's eyes had to be a mile wide, she could not believe her mom had dropped that anecdote so casually as if it were nothing.

"Well, yes… Like I was saying, I saw him when I…"

"No, no. Stop, I heard you. It's just…" She didn't even know where to begin. "Anakin? Really?" Padmé wasn't sure if it was the impact of hitting her head or her worst nightmare coming true, but she suddenly felt lightheaded. Before she even had a chance to recover, the doorbell was ringing.

"It's open!" Ruwee yelled, coming down the stairs to join his wife and younger daughter in the kitchen. She heard chatter and was thankful it wasn't him just yet. Padmé had taken a seat at the breakfast bar and was trying to process what the hell she'd do now when her nieces started running her way, chanting her name. She had to push her dilemma to the back of her mind. She grabbed both girls in a hug from her seated position, they were getting so big, nearly 8 and 6 now. She felt misty eyed thinking of all she was missing out on.

"There's my hotshot little sister, alive and in person!" Sola came over and wrapped her in a massive hug. Sola's husband Darred came in behind them, smiling and saying hi to Padmé on his way to setting trays of food on the countertop.

"Nice to see you still in one piece after all these years, Darred," Padmé smiled at him, teasing Sola until she rolled her eyes.

"Well, you know what they say. Happy wife, happy life," he came up behind his wife, planting a kiss on her cheek before walking back toward the front door. Sola elbowed Padmé in response before pulling her in for another hug.

She whispered in her little sister's ear, "You know, don't you?"

Did she look that frazzled? Padmé could only nod, hoping her and Sola were talking about the same thing. She couldn't imagine what else there would be to "know."

"I'm sorry, I tried to stop her, I really did," her sister looked so apologetic; she couldn't help but shake her head.

"It's…fine, Sola, we're adults. I deal with arguing senators, prying staffers, and the press every day of my professional career, I should be able to survive a meal with my ex-boyfriend," Padmé wasn't sure if she was trying harder to convince her sister or herself of that fact.

Sola gave her a reassuring pat on the back. "It's so good to have you home." They smiled at each other one more time before the older Naberrie sister went on to help set up dinner.

Padmé took a moment to head upstairs to the guest room and lay down to stare at the ceiling. Suddenly everything she had stopped worrying about was brought back to the surface and she needed to catch her breath. Giving herself a quick pep talk, she changed into one of the sundresses she brought. Getting out of the clothes she traveled in made her feel better already, as did spending a few extra minutes in the bathroom getting her curly hair to cooperate to frame her face and fixing her make-up. Her sundress was the perfect blend of tight and flowy, hugging her in the right places, showing just enough skin… Not that any of that mattered for a dinner with her family. She rolled her eyes. This whole Anakin thing was really driving her insane. Giving herself one more once-over in the mirror and spritzing her favorite perfume on her neck and wrists though, she felt much more confident she was ready for anything now.

Halfway down the stairs, she heard the doorbell ring again. "I'll get it!" She yelled to the other room where her family had gathered. She rushed toward the door, a little quicker than she should have, and yanked it open with a smile on her face. "Hi…" She started to say looking up at the figure, before stopping abruptly. The person now standing in front of her absolutely took her breath away, especially once she noticed he looked just as stunned to be seeing her.

"Padmé?!"