authorsnote: gurrrrl this chapter will give you whiplash, just warnin'
I do hope you enjoy, this story is so much fun to write! do review and let me know if you're liking it!
songrecs: wolves - selena gomez, mashmello (apt)
They sit in silence for a while … a long while.
And yet it was oddly comfortable. Draco … Malfoy had hustled her Greenhouse 4, used only be NEWT students, and so today it would be empty. It wasn't exactly cosy, but they couldn't risk going back into the castle, hence the limited options, it was doable.
Still as Hermione accioed the books to them, Draco … Malfoy summoned a blanket onto the floor, finding them a spot free of plants near the back, where they wouldn't be bothered, likely not until tomorrow if they stayed that long.
It dawned on her she's missed more class in the past month than she has her entire academic career but now is not the time to dwell on that.
There is no time to dwell on anything, only on what just happened, and what it meant.
And so, as they both sit on the blankets, quiet, a sort of easy truce borne of needing to know what happened bridges between them, they both reach for a book, and start reading.
Quiet, comfortable, it is exactly what she needs in this very moment and she feels herself relax, even transfigures them a few pillows to lean themselves against, getting comfortable.
And then the world just falls away, as she takes in the words, as her eyes slide back and forth over the page, as the scent of the books and something else close by - apples, cut grass? Malfoy, invade her senses she is perfectly, utterly calm and engrossed.
Perfect.
It goes on like that for hours, she glances at Malfoy once, okay twice, and if she could see herself, he would look almost the mirror of her. Some strands of his hair hang over his head, his grey eyes dart back and forth over the text, he reads quickly, and she somehow knows he's taking it all in. He looks engrossed like her, completely focused on his book … she finds she likes that.
He glows of course, as he always does, that shimmering gold that makes her feel warm inside, she's not sure why, and any theories about it she isn't ready to entertain.
Content, she goes back to her own reading, and they just sit like that for hours, they finish one book and open another, as the morning falls away, as the gentle plinks of rain start to dance across the Greenhouse roof, and Hermione and Draco sit, perfectly comfortable with one another, even having inched a touch closer to one another, completely detached from the outside world, on their own comfortable little bubble.
If she weren't so focused, she'd realise she doesn't want it to pop, not now, maybe not ever.
He can't remember the last time he felt this at ease.
Of course, he's not fully relaxed, hasn't been since he was 6 and his Father expressed the importance of good posture, alertness, and readiness, but he is as much as he can be, and especially since being turned, it's a huge relief.
He sits back against the pillow Granger transfigured and he's comfortable lounging against it, book in his lap. He reads quickly, always has but even more so now, but takes every word in, absorbing every sentence. He flicks over the pages, mesmerised, teeth catching his bottom lip as he focuses.
He glances a couple of times at Granger … Hermione, more than a couple of times, too many times, constantly.
Draco still doesn't like her, how can he? But that's not important anymore, it doesn't matter if he doesn't like her, his actual feelings far eclipse that now, even he can recognise that.
What does liking matter when he'd murder any who hurt her? When he'd rip out his own eyes before hurting her himself? Who gives a fuck about liking when she is the sun on his horizon, the moon in the dark sky? Dislike is insignificant in the face of that, it doesn't mean anything. What he feels for her transcends disliking her.
When he glances at her she is beautiful. Part of him wants to blame the bond, but he's always known Granger was pretty, even with her buck teeth she had a pretty face, and since 6th year she's blossomed, he doesn't need the bond to see that, and yet the bond makes him appreciate just how beautiful she is.
Her curls spring away from her face, a dark toffee colour, wild and completely her. The freckles smattering across her nose are adorable, the colour of coffee dusted over her skin. She smiles as she reads a passage, just a hint of it, and it illuminates her face, she has a very pretty smile, teeth pearly white, lips a blush pink.
He's thankful she can't hear his thoughts, hear that as much as he dislikes her (and he does, he's sure), he's also completely obsessing over her.
The air smells of her, of jasmine (her perfume), and roses (the hand cream he's seen her use) and ink, which clings to her fingers, he finds it both annoying and endearing, a contradiction, like her.
He glances at her a handful of times but finds himself focusing back on his book, as she does hers, both of them content, silent and comfortable.
Draco can't remember the last time he's been this at ease in someone else's presence but for once he doesn't question it, he's too comfortable to, and so he just lets it happen, for once he doesn't question it, he doesn't push away the good feeling, he doesn't reject it, he just sinks into it.
As the hours wile away…
"We should eat"
His voice jolted her out of her book, and as she turned her head, she realised the sky was darkening outside, the rain hammering against the roof now, but magic keeps the Greenhouse dry, she had slumped into the pillows, unlike Malfoy who was still propped up, but he was leaning into her too.
She realised they were both comfortable with one another, that unnerved her a touch, but she felt too comfortable to move away, she can almost see Malfoy doing the same thing, his eyes narrow but he makes no effort to move.
For once he doesn't sneer and push her away, for once she doesn't jump up and yell at him. Instead, they share a look, just for a second, a look that promises 'truce', for the moment they can be comfortable, relaxed, for a moment they can sink into the pillows.
Just for a moment, they both know it won't, and can't last, but it's enough … for now.
She nods, feels her stomach rumble, she glances at her watch, it's almost 6, dinnertime, but she knows they can't waltz into the Great Hall. They'll have to face the music eventually, but not now, she can put it off till tomorrow, when she has the energy to deal with it, but not now.
"Any ideas?" She asks, summoning food would lead anyone too them, conjuring it doesn't work, but Malfoy rolls his eyes, and she glares at him, realising quite quickly what he plans to do.
"Malfoy don't you dare…" She starts, but he just gives her a patronising look.
"Zlip!" He calls, and then a House Elf appears in front of them, Hogwarts Crest displayed on the elf's chest – ownership, she thinks bitterly, but the elf smiles, and preens, awaits instructions.
"Yes, Master and Miss?" He asks, with a little grin, and Hermione shoots Malfoy a vicious glare, so much for a truce.
"Malfoy, it's wrong" She hisses, but he just rolls his eyes again before turning to the little elf awaiting instructions.
"Dinner for two please Zlip, you choose" Malfoy offers, and the elf nods, turns to her, but then furrows his nose and disappears with a pop, she winces but tries to rally her justification.
"Don't bother Granger" Malfoy says as she goes to speak, and she glares again, she does not like being cut off, "Everyone knows about your elf crusade, but we need food", he nods his head to her bag, where her S.P.E.W badge is proudly displayed, she won't back down from it, even when people laugh at her for it.
People have been laughing at her forever, and it's yet to stop her, it won't now.
"It's wrong Malfoy" She says, cheeks heating a touch in annoyance. "It's slavery, it's subjugation, backwards even by wizarding world standards"
"No, it's not" He rolls his eyes again and she wants to slap him, only just resists, "You in all of your research failed to actually consider the elf's perspective, or as to why elves serve wizards. No, you decided your conclusion, refused to listen to any other opinion, and now are charging headfirst into a crusade the elves don't want, need, and is doomed to fail" He shrugged as another crack rang through the air, and Zlip appeared with a hovering tray piled with sandwiches, cakes, and a huge beaker of pumpkin juice.
Hermione however doesn't move, her mouth is hanging open she knows, as she glares at Malfoy, rarely does someone argue back with her, "You have no idea what you're talking about"
"I actually do" Malfoy says, as Zlip disappears with a disgruntled look towards her, which she ignores, though it doesn't help her flagging argument, "See I grew up with an elf, and though he didn't have the best time at Malfoy manner, I know even if he had, he'd have wanted to stay, elves rely on their wizarding master for their power and many other things, protection, and safety" He is diligently doing her a plate as he speaks, "Shockingly Granger you don't know everything, particularly about wizarding culture and traditions" He hands her the plate and she takes it without thinking, "You might want to get another perspective"
"Like yours" She snorts, placing down her plate, offering another glare, pouring herself some pumpkin juice.
"Like mine" He says with a shrug before tucking into his own food, and she finds herself doing the same.
Of course, she knows Malfoy's argument is rubbish, purebloods will tell themselves anything to keep the status quo, it's just how he does it, arguing with her in a logical way, framing his points, it's a novelty for her, and not one she enjoys.
Hmm … no, she doesn't like going someone beating her argument … hence her next words, she isn't letting this go.
"You're wrong" She says, so sure of herself, but wavering a touch, not that it shows, she doesn't let it, "It's slavery"
"No, it's not" He fires back, pausing to eat, she likes that she finds, he has manners, probably beaten into him by his parents, good manners, she's always hated sloppy table habits, "The elf needs the master for protection, power and safety. Without them elves don't have nearly as much magical power, and are at risk of being sold into actual slavery"
"You see Granger, elves like working in homes, it's a dream compared to what those smuggled end up doing" He takes a drink, and she finds herself pausing too, taking in every word, "Down the mines, or in fighting rings" He shook his head, "And much worse again, elves would rather be serving, would rather be safe"
"That's just how you justify it" She knows her argument sounds weak in the face of Malfoy's, but she needs to research, disprove his points, which she will, "It's slavery, and that is always wrong" He rolls his eyes again and she finds herself gritting her teeth.
"Just eat Granger" Malfoy says with a shake of his head, pouring her out some more juice, "Do some research and we'll argue this again, but try and come up with better points, the moral argument doesn't work if the practical option is also the most moral"
Now that is strange, the little shiver up her spine, about doing this again, because yes, she doesn't like her opinion being questioned, but she does like having someone to debate with, someone as well read as her, and she finds herself looking forward to looking up the research, to coming back and thoroughly beating Malfoy in said debate, which she knows she will.
Still, she glares, his opinion is deplorable.
The easy comfort from early starts to sink back in, her annoyance ebbing away, as she eats her food, and Malfoy his. They drain the pumpkin juice, which thankfully refills and refills, and they both pick their books back up.
And that's it, it's nice, to sit back, to relax again, even as she bristles a touch, she feels an urge to summon some books on House Elves but knows the topic at hand now is slightly more important, and instead forces herself to focus back on the werewolf books, that is what they need to look at now.
She'll beat Malfoy's argument, and eventually get Wizarding Britain to change its ways of treating elves, and then every other creature, she knows she will … just not today.
No, today she sinks back, takes a sip of her cup, and lets herself focus on her book again, comfortable and content… as she can be.
Said comfort and contentless last for a time, but then she finishes the book, and the next, and then there are none left to reach for, she and Malfoy have gone through all six, thick tomes, and there is nothing.
Nothing on her reaction to their fight, nothing on his glow, almost nothing on the bond. Nothing.
"Anything?" She asks, closing the final page of her last book, which had held literally nothing on the subject, though if she needed to know about werewolf rituals with food and herbs she's set, how helpful.
"Nothing" She can hear the concern in Malfoy's voice, and that makes her anxious, if Malfoy is worried…
"I had one paragraph" She reaches for said book, needing to say that she'd something, anything, and so she reaches for it, the 2nd she'd read, and opens it up to the place she marked, reading aloud. She'd expected to mark a lot more sections but alas…
'The soul bond between werewolf and human has been rarely observed and even more rarely studied. It is said to be an intense connection of much note but has not been studied enough to discuss its effects. In fact, those who have tried to study it have found themselves mauled by the werewolf or cursed at by the human, sometimes both'
She stopped then, and Malfoy raised his eyebrow, "That's it?" More concern in his tone … fuck.
Her and Malfoy do not like one another, decidedly, for him to be concerned is concerning in itself … fuck.
"That's it" Her voice fell to a whisper as she looked at the pile of books, none holding even anything close to an answer, this was bad, really bad. "Where did you get answers? The stuff you told me?"
"Other wolves" He said with a sigh, shaking his head, "Not an option though, I got told general stuff, but they don't know I'm soul-bonded, nor can they, ever"
"Why not?" She furrowed her brow then, turning down an information source? They couldn't afford to do that, "Surely they're the best source?"
"Granger" His tone was harsher then, and she just about stopped herself from flinching, "Going to wolves is not an option, if they know I'm soul bonded at all, never mind to you, it won't go well"
"But…"
"Granger don't be so thick" He spat out, shaking his head, glaring now, "You want me to waltz over to Greyback, tell him I'm soul bonded to Potter's best friend? Understand why that might be a bad idea?"
She felt her blood run cold then, so much so she didn't rebuke him for his nasty comment, and instead she just jerked a nod, he was right, she hadn't even told her best friends, they couldn't really tell anyone, never mind his family, or his … acquaintances.
Sometimes her thirst for knowledge has her blinded, that she knows is a flaw of hers.
"Telling anyone makes you extremely vulnerable, and me" He said, "They could…" He paused then, and the next words out of his mouth looked as though they were physically hard for him to say, "They could make me do anything by threatening you"
"Anything?" She asked, her blood still chilled, her voice still a whisper, she almost didn't want an answer, but she'd had so few today she needed to ask.
"Anything" He said gravely, "I'd kill my own mother if they threatened your life"
She let out a little gasp, Malfoy had only been this honest with her once or twice, she was thankful for it, for she couldn't stand lies, but … it was disconcerting, to hear him speak so plainly about it, she flinched then, unable to hold it back.
'I won't hurt you, I can't'
'This is it Granger, for you and me, this is it'
'Trust me if I could claw it out of me I would' 'What?' 'My soul'
Honesty, from Malfoy it is strange, and she's not sure how welcome it is, it's terrifying, to hear him talk so plainly. And to hear what the bond makes him feel … she's not naïve, she knows he doesn't like her, this isn't some dreadful romance novel with Malfoy slowly falling in love with her, no, this is the bond, and it's making him feel this.
She knows it's influencing her too, making her content around him, feeling at ease around him in a way she doesn't with anyone else, making her crave his company.
The damned bond.
"How much do you know?" She asks, trying to steer the conversation, she shakes a touch now, and it's not cold, she needs to get back on easier ground.
"Not enough" He shakes his head, annoyed she can tell, he's been nice since her episode … out of character nice, and she can see it bleeding away, it's not his natural state, a shame, she kind of liked it, "Greyback told me about the bond in case it happened, and I found some in books, but's it's rare" He shakes his head, and she can see he wears a hollow smile. "Really rare"
"And yet it got us" She finishes his thought, as bitter as he is as he nods.
So rare, a rare piece of magic and it's hit them, it's not fair, but then when is life?
She doesn't miss the irony that such a rare piece of magic manifested in a muggleborns, she hopes Malfoy doesn't either.
"What books?" She feels she needs to keep surging forward, she can't get lost in bitterness or in Malfoy's honesty, it's far too much to deal with here on the Greenhouse floor, sitting against sofa cushions, close to Malfoy and part of her itching to be closer.
"Some in the Manor" He says, "There's more, but I couldn't bring them, not without raising suspicion"
She nods, bites down on her lip, that's not helpful, the books could be, but not when inaccessible.
"Come on" Malfoy stands then, running a hand through his hair, and he's up quickly, moving to the door, he doesn't offer her a hand, though she can see he goes to before stepping away, and so she scrambles to her feet alone.
She finds she wishes he'd held out his hand.
Ruined is the right word.
Maybe fucked is better.
"Where are we going?" She's not ready to face anyone, not yet, maybe not ever, but certainly not today.
"Malfoy Manor" He says with a shrug, as though it's obvious, he smirks again, resetting his nastiness in front of her, she feels something cold curl up her spine but tries to shrug it off, this is what Malfoy is like, he doesn't pour her pumpkin juice and debate with her without cruelty normally, he was just being nice. "My parents are in Paris at the moment, we'll have it to ourselves"
Malfoy is not nice, she knows that, and can't be tricked to think otherwise.
"We can't" She says, though she does follow, wand in hand, blanket and books forgotten.
"We need to" He says, charging outside, it rains still, gently, and she follows, why does she follow? "We can apparate beyond the boundaries, in the Shrieking Shack, read through the night and then come back, no one will know, we can't take the books, there's a recall ward on them"
"But…" She's cut off again and hates it each time.
"What? You don't want answers?" He whirls around, glaring at her now, "Want to just keep freaking out when we fight? Want me to keep jumping to your defence in class when Snape calls you out? Want to keep feeling this… this sickness when we're apart?!" He shakes his head, "I gave you all the answers I have" He sounds a touch defeated then.
It scares her, that Malfoy is out of answers, that he looks a touch desperate, and she knows he's right, she knows they need them, knows that is more important than anything else, much more important. It's breaking the rules, but what does that matter? This matters more than some school rules, far more.
The idea of going to the Manor frightens her, but she's a Gryffindor, brave, and this is more important, much more.
And so, she nods, brave.
They need answers.
This time he holds out his hand, and she takes it.
sooo thoughts?
and OOF that was a whirlwind! what did ya'll think?
now I know malfoy's personality is giving whiplash, but boi he's a werewolf, volatile emotions and all that jazz, and poor bby hermione is beyond confused. so they might be a touch ooc and darting between different states, but eh they going through some stuff.
I do hope you enjoyed, do follow/fav and lemme know your thoughts!
speak soon