authorsnotes: here we gooo
god I love this couple, but damn is everything messed tf up. anywho, I left you on a cliffhanger last time, so here you go...
do enjoy, fav/follow etc
songrecs: psychofreak - camila cabello ft willow (this is the 2nd fic I've recommended this in, and it won't be the last, it is that perfect for every leading lady in a mess).
For just a second, just the barest moment she considered telling the truth, considered blurting out the whole awful situation she was in. She knew the boys would be mad she'd kept it from them, angry at Malfoy and the universe too, but they'd give her the comfort she desperately needed.
They'd pull her into a hug, hold her close as she wept, listen as she told them everything that had happened, and then would no doubt march down to the Slytherin common room to punch Malfoy for how cruel he'd been to her on occasion.
And that was the problem, she needed Malfoy. She needed him as civil as he was being now, and he was being better. Sure, they still disliked one another, but she knew if she told Harry and Ron … if they got involved, she knew it would change things.
Right now, things with Malfoy were awful, tense, but they were as good as they'd been. They were working together for an answer, they were trying to figure out what to do. Malfoy had even attempted niceness once or twice.
She couldn't jeopardise that, she wouldn't.
And so, the truth was out of the window, as much as part of her ached to tell it.
These were Harry and Ron after all, her best friends, her family, keeping something from them hurt, they were normally always truthful with one another.
But then again her circumstances were hardly normal, and so she knew she had to give herself a pass this time, just this time.
"Please" Harry said again, and his pleading, his eyes earnest and full of caring, didn't make it any easier. She knew Harry would want to help, would charge into battle against the Slytherins and hold her close in a hug as she raged, but that was not what she needed. Same with Ron, who'd hold her hand, and then curse Malfoy to the high heavens. "Just let us help"
"I don't need help" Hermione said immediately, crossing her arms, "Nothing is going on beyond what you already know"
"Then where were you?" Harry asked, and as Ron stood next to him she almost cracked a smile at how they had obviously rehearsed this, her boys, she knew they cared for her, but right now, that wasn't enough to pry the truth from her.
And a horrible traitorous part of her thought she owed Malfoy her secrecy than the boys her honesty. She didn't like that, feeling loyal to Malfoy in this situation, she wondered if it were the soul-bond, her desire to keep the peace, or how furious she knew she'd be if he told anyone about their situation, perhaps all three.
"In the library" She snapped back, after all it was the most likely answer, albeit not so original.
"We checked the library" Ron insisted, "Your usual spot"
"I've been using the back more" Hermione insisted, she'd never been the best liar but she was the best of the three of them. Ron always gave himself away by blushing red, or would angrily blurt out the truth, Harry never saw much point in being false, and so in the company she was practically a mastermind.
"Where?" Harry threw back and she shot him a glare to which he at least looked a little chagrined, after all, she didn't appreciate the interrogation, no matter how much she deserved it.
"The back stacks" She said, "I'm not surprised you haven't been there, it's hidden away and requires you to want to be in the library" She flung the insult with no malice, and yet Harry returned her glare then.
"No way, we'd have seen you" Ron threw back.
"I…" She began again, this was her line of lies, she was sticking to it, though she could see neither of her best friends were convinced.
"Oh leave her be" Her head turned then to see Ginny coming down the stairs, orange pyjamas clashing fantastically with her hair as she glared at first Ron and then Harry; gone was the shrinking wallflower who'd blush at Harry's mere presence, Ginny had come along way and settled right into being a feisty Weasley.
"Ginny!" Ron said, "You should be in bed"
"What with the racket your making?" Ginny returned with a roll of her eyes, Hermione noticed Harry's eyes widen then as he looked at Ginny, her legs on display in the orange shorts … interesting, she supposed she wasn't the only one harbouring a secret, and yet if Ginny caught on, she didn't make it obvious.
"Well, Hermione came back late" Harry said defensively, and at Ginny's disdainful look he had the good grace to blush too.
"Duh, she was at the library" Ginny said, and Hermione just about schooled her face – she and Ginny both knew she hadn't been at the library, what with the fact she hadn't been, what was Ginny doing?
"We looked for her!" Ron insisted.
"For more than five minutes? "Ginny rebutted with a laugh, to which both boys fumbled, "I was with her till curfew, and then she stayed, working on her essay, prefect curfew and all"
What was Ginny doing? Not that Hermione wasn't thankful, as she certainly was, especially as both boys backed down, Ginny's word was good, she had never been a liar herself, and yet…
"Oh" Harry spoke first, a touch bashful, "Sorry Hermione"
"Yeah, sorry Hermione" Ron mumbled, and Hermione rolled her eyes then, her blood fizzing with nerves, and yet she knew she had to act casual, even as she glanced at Ginny, her face perfectly schooled too; hmm, perhaps she wasn't the best liar in the group.
"No problem" Hermione said, "But I have a lot of work for Arithmancy this weekend, so when I come back at this time over the weekend are you still going to interrogate me?" Hermione quickly added, thinking a pre-planned excuse for the rest of the weekend would work better.
"Our bad" Ron said with a decency and as Harry nodded, Hermione had to force herself not to deflate with relief, and instead they all said their goodnights, Harry and Ron off up to the boy's dormitory, and Hermione followed Ginny.
Thankfully, as, as soon as they were out of view Hermione pulled the redhead to one side, into the alcove just before the second years dormitories.
Perhaps she shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, but that had never been her style.
She'd always seek answers rather than bury her head in the sand.
"Ginny-"She began, and yet before she could even begin…
"I saw you" Ginny had never been one to beat around the bush, and Hermione hastily cast a silencing charm as Ginny began, though as she finished her arm dropped.
There was the panic again, as it had been when the boys confronted her, it running through her blood, making her veins feel ice cold. Fuck.
"What do you mean?" Her voice was a whisper then, and she knew there'd be no getting out of this; Ginny had bailed her out with Harry and Ron, which meant she wouldn't be fooled herself.
"I saw you both" Ginny insisted, "You and Malfoy" Hermione actually flinched as Ginny said his name; fuck, they were caught. "I saw you both at the lake"
"At the lake?" Fuck, she'd worried someone would spy them, thought them lucky no one had, and yet apparently, she hadn't looked hard enough.
"And after" Ginny said, and then she had the grace to blush, bright red, "I followed you"
"You followed us?" She didn't even notice her use of 'us' but Ginny certainly did, her eyes widening and then narrowing.
"Yes" Ginny said, looking far less abashed now, and instead a touch worried, "I was worried about you" She paused then, biting her lip but continued, "What's going on Hermione?"
Lie. Again, the instinct came to her, to make something up, to weave some lies, to head Ginny off, and yet one look at her only female friend at Hogwarts, one look at Ginny, who in some ways she was closer to than the boys, at Ginny who was earnest, and clearly as the boys had, only wanted to help.
The key difference being that Ginny was rash yes, but she'd stop, she'd listen, and she wouldn't charge away blinded by hate. So, one look and she knew.
Lie. It stroked against her mind again, and yet she knew, as she shoved it away, she knew what she needed to say, what she needed to do.
"Come with me" She knew she'd made the right choice as Ginny didn't hesitate, not for a second, as Hermione lead them back out of the common room and quickly to the Room of Requirement; they'd need a while to go through this.
It was only when they were inside, the interior resembling a Gryffindor dorm, sans the other roommates, only when they sat down on one of the beds, legs crossed, curtains drawn, almost needing the extra layer of privacy, it was only then as Ginny looked at her, waiting, patiently, waiting for her to speak, did Hermione say…
"Me and Malfoy are soul-bonded"
After that it all came out in a stream, no pausing, no interruptions, no stopping. She just poured out everything on one go. Halfway through Ginny took her hand and Hermione didn't reralise she was gripping it until she glanced down, and yet Ginny hadn't complained once.
It all came out, like a stream of consciousness, everything that had happened since she'd walked into that train car such a short time ago – less than a month, how? It all came out, every event, every feeling, every worry, every fear, it poured out of her like a river finally let free.
And god did it feel good.
She hadn't expected it to feel so liberating, to tell the truth, to be able to spill out the thoughts that had been screaming in her head for days, to share the thoughts with someone, to make it real, to know she wasn't going insane.
It took her several minutes to get it all out, she only omitted some of the more … intimate things Malfoy had said to her, some of the declarations he'd made almost against his will, those she felt oddly protective of keeping quiet, but nothing else was afforded the same luxury, everything else came spilling out of her like a river finally set free.
Silence fell over the room then, silence as Hermione finished, eyes wide, almost manic, and several minutes seemed to tick by until Ginny spoke.
"Wow" Was all she offered, but Hermione nodded, what else was there to say? "I don't even know what to say" Exactly.
"I know" Hermione said, she knew if their positions were reversed she'd be just as gobsmacked, perhaps more.
"I mean … its Malfoy" Ginny said her nose wrinkling and Hermione too nodded, though she felt a weird flare of annoyance, which she pushed aside, she wasn't going to go and defend Malfoy of all people, regardless of the flash of anger she'd felt at Ginny disparaging him.
Well, that had to be part of the soul bond.
"What are you going to do?" Ginny asked, and Hermione felt herself calm a touch then, especially as Ginny squeezed her hand, here her friend was, still by her side, even after she'd explained what a nightmare she was in; that was what she had needed.
"I don't know" Hermione said with a shake of her head, "Figure this out I guess"
Ginny nodded, "You'll need to, you can't have any more situations like at the lake, you're lucky I'm the only one that saw"
"Yeah" Hermione said biting down on her lip, "Very lucky"
"Or maybe I'm lucky that Michael Corner is a lousy kisser and I left before he could try to do more, hence why I managed to be hurrying past" Ginny said slyly, offering some humour, which Hermione took too greatly, a little laugh leaving her lips; she hadn't been doing that nearly enough.
"I'd take Michael over Malfoy" She said and Ginny nodded in instant agreement; though there was a flare of anger she just managed to ignore again yeah, definitely the soul bond.
"You can't tell anyone" Hermione said then, the thought just occurring to her, which led to her clutching Ginny's hand far tighter, "Not the boys, no one"
She was relieved as Ginny nodded, "I won't" There was only sincerity in the redheads eyes and Hermione knew her secret was safe.
"But Hermione" Ginny paused then, "These things do have a way of getting out" Again she spoke clearly, Ginny didn't bullshit, "They somehow always do"
Hermione could only nod, seeing the truth in it; a bit of the secret had got out today after all, Ginny was trustworthy, but the secret had to stop here, and yet if Ginny were right.
Her secrets were safe … for now.
They crept back to the common room and parted, Ginny to the fifth-year dorms, Hermione to the sixth.
Only when she was alone did she feel some of the tension bleed out of her shoulders, evaporating from her, like a mist or smoke drifting away from her.
Though not all of it.
After all there was still much to be tense about, too much even. Ginny knew the secret now, and yet as Hermione trusted her to keep it (and she did), she also knew the redhead was right; it would come out eventually, Hermione just had to hope she could delay it as soon as possible.
Then there was the issue of their research, how little progress they'd made. She was just thankful she had a tailor, ready-made excuse for the weekend; she'd need every hour.
And then there was Malfoy; why had she kept some of his words from Ginny when she'd spilled every other detail? Why did she feel angry when Ginny spoke negatively about him? What was this soul bond?
She didn't know, but she hoped to find out.
What did they say about curiosity again?
She forced herself to turn over and was soon asleep before she could remember.
The next day was easier, Friday lessons, Harry and Ron apologetic, Ginny shooting her a secretive glance over breakfast, and then the day dragging as it went.
Thankfully she had been right about her goody-too-shoes status, the teachers swallowing her apologies about missed classes with nothing more than a nod, and a 'not to worry'.
She had one free period and actually spent it in the library, catching up on two essays, the third she knocked off over lunch, and realised how much better she felt getting them done.
This whole thing with Malfoy had been consuming her, and yet she couldn't let it; she had a life outside the soul bond, she had things to do and a life to live. She had to live it. Doing homework, attending classes, even managing to chat and joke with Harry and Ron in Charms; this was her life, she couldn't let this soul bond, she couldn't let all of it drag her down.
And yet at dinnertime she felt a bit heavier, or at least her heart did, the weight on her shoulders too, and she hated how she rushed from the table a little too quickly, to meet him at Greenhouse 4 as promised.
It had only been a day, less than that, and yet the aches had begun, a little niggle in her head and the feeling of needing to turn in and sleep already present. It was all there, the constant reminder of what was happening, the reminder they hadn't found any answers; not yet. She hoped it was not yet, and not never.
But she still hurried, and found Malfoy already waiting for her, looking just a touch tired, a touch unsettled, though it smoothed out as soon as he saw her.
She couldn't see her own expression, but it did on her too.
And then as they went to make a move, and Malfoy without a word, without a hint, slipped his hand into hers, and she without flinching, accepted it, her fingers threading through his, only then did she feel the rest of the tension bleed away from her, and notice the same in Malfoy, it all gone from them, like the final chases of the mist disappearing into the night sky.
Consumed? That was the word.
sooo thoughts?
shortish chapter but damn did a lot happen.
there will be more consequences to come of hermione/dracos sneaking off, make no doubt of that, you'll be seeing them soon!
do lemme know watcha think, I love your reviews!
speak soon