authorsnote: the intensity is rocketing! and warning it will only get worse from here

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songrecs: shake it out - florence and the machine

It is no surprise to anyone how they wake up.

She hadn't meant to fall asleep, had been determined not to be that relaxed at Malfoy Manor, had intended to read through the night, head back to school and then sleep away her Saturday in Gryffindor Tower, where it was safe, where she knew she was safe.

The thing was, she was exhausted, tense, and pent-up, and her body, her soul, knew there was no safer place for her to be than with Malfoy.

It was almost embarrassing how quickly she'd succumbed.

It had started with sitting on the bed, ankles crossed, back upright against the headboard, book in her lap, Malfoy more relaxed, slouched down onto the pillows, one leg propped up, but engrossed in his book, he had seemed awake.

And so, she had reached for her book, ready to drudge through more of the same, but a yawn had caught her, and then another. She was sure she'd attempted to read, but then she had been sinking down onto the pillows, and then a blanket had been tucked over her, and then the delicious warmth next to her had called and within minutes she was asleep.

Asleep, comfortable, safe, that was all she knew for the next hours.

The next 7 hours.

And when she woke it wasn't with a gasp, or a start, but it was in complete and utter bliss…

A bliss she had never known before, when she awoke, not with a jolt, and not alone.

No, in fact ever since things had begun with Malfoy … whatever they were, she'd woken up aching, cold, being alone felt cold, especially in bed, and the pains started upon waking, except when they'd fallen asleep together, or when she'd rushed to him the next morning.

She remembered back to the morning they'd woken up after falling asleep hand in hand in the library, how good it had felt…

'She feels fuzzy, like someone's placed a cheering charm on her, like things are blurring around the edges. It feels good, too good, she feels almost giddy, and wavey - is wavey a word? Regardless she feels on the verge of fainting and like perhaps her body is spinning without her knowing it, turning around and around like a top.

Is she high? She remembers being on laughing gas when she broke her arm in reception year and the Doctor had to snap it back into place. This feels similar, but she knows she's taken nothing. Is it drugs? Magic? A potion? She doesn't know.'

This somehow felt better.

She feels like a cat curled up in a sunny spot, like a slumbering kitten happily content to continue its journey through dreaming, curled into a little ball, luxuriating in the heat.

And yet it isn't the warmth (and it is warm, likely thanks to magic, and the fact she is pressed against someone, her head is certainly not on a pillow), that has her almost purring herself, but it is where she is, who she is with, that has her so incredibly blissed out.

Her head is on someone's chest, and her body knows it is safe, her soul quieted to be in such close proximity to who it thinks she should be in proximity to (really thinks she should always be in proximity to), and as her eyes flutter open, so calm she couldn't possibly jerk up, she catches who she lies on.

She knew of course, her body wouldn't accept anyone else, and yet her mind is so far removed from her body, she takes it all in with her eyes.

After all, this isn't normal, normally Hermione would have jumped up, screamed, to have fallen asleep next to, never mind on Malfoy, her head on his chest, tucked in, his head then resting atop hers, his arm slung over her waist, fingers curled into her hip, her leg kicked between his, toes on his calf, her hand resting on his chest, next to her head, her curls likely tickling his nose, not that he seems to mind.

This is the first time she's woken up in bed with a man, only the second time she's woken up with one (both Malfoy), and she should be shrieking, that her sinking into sleep had led to this, and she will, but for just a moment, a detached moment…

She revels in it.

As there is no pain, no slow seeping agony into her limbs, no itch at the back of her neck of discontent, no pulse of a headache starting at her brow. Instead, she feels light, her limbs free of any ache, she feels fully rested, as though she'd slept for fifteen odd hours instead of seven or eight. She feels almost cheerful, and she is sure she is smiling.

It is as intense as the morning in the library, but it feels different somehow.

In the library she'd felt almost giddy, floating away on a cloud of good feelings, like she'd been hit with an overly charged cheering charm, and her cheeks hurt from the smiling.

Here, it felt just as strong, but better, more relaxed, like every care in the world was gone, like she had absolutely nothing to worry about, nothing at all.

Of course, that wasn't true, there was much to worry about, both immediately and long-term, and yet lying in Draco Malfoy's arms, her head on his chest, his arms wrapped around her in protection, all of those worries seemed so far away, so small and irrelevant, how could they matter? Why would she worry? When she felt this good.

Like ice cream that had been left out in the sun and melted into a happy, sugary puddle, that was in that moment Hermione Granger.

And she couldn't see Malfoy, but he looked similar, there was no small smile on his features though, and he wouldn't describe himself as ice cream, and yet he looked relaxed, to have his soul-bonded mate in his arms, protected and close, it was the first time since he'd been turned that he looked truly and utterly content. Alongside the clear possessiveness, any who walked in the room at that moment would have been met with an angry werewolf, ready to tear them down.

But no one arrived, instead they both stayed in bliss, even as Hermione was slightly awake, and Malfoy too, it wasn't until he mumbled something into her hair, 'Granger', that her eyes fluttered open, almost against her will.

And Hermione was forced to confront the reality of the situation.

"Malfoy?"

Her eyes opened, with a flutter, not a start, and yet as she fully took in where she was, who she was with, she let out a little gasp.

Yet, she didn't jolt back, only sat up a touch, but even then just barely, too comfortable, too free of pain to want to move away.

It was like a war between what she should be doing and what she wanted to be doing. Usually she was sensible Hermione Granger, strong and stubborn, and the former was how she did things, and yet this time the latter near won out.

Near.

"Malfoy, wake up" She implored, and as he cracked open an eye her teeth found her bottom lip; fuck. This was bad, very bad, not just because of how good she felt, but how even as she sat up, she didn't really move away from him as she should.

The bond was hitting hard.

What had one of the books said?

'The more time spent together will make it easier to spend the time apart, in terms of pain, but it does not mean the subjects would want to. In fact, the intensity in which both wanted to be together regularly (and constantly) was extremely high'.

"I'm awake" Malfoy said lazily; that was bad too, neither of them should feel lazy right now, neither should feel relaxed.

And yet she did, and Malfoy (who hadn't even moved, even as she'd tried to sit up), certainly looked it too.

"This is bad" She felt the need to say out loud, and she placed a hand to her head. There was no ache, no fever, and yet even her thoughts felt scrambled, as though she was looking at them from outside herself, not making sense to herself.

In truth, she wanted nothing more than to settle back down and grab some more sleep, pain free, warm and comfortable, and yet a rational part of her (perhaps the only rational part), stopped her (just), and she couldn't help but wonder how next time (and as much as she wished to deny it she knew, just knew there would be a next time), she would find tearing herself away.

Would it be easier or harder?

The books had promised more contact and time spent together would make spending time apart easier and less painful, and yet it had also suggested they'd want to spend more time together, crave it even.

Which would win?

"Granger?" Malfoy spoke again, and as he opened his eyes he too sat up, though also made no effort to move away. Fuck, worse than she thought.

"Why don't I want to move?" She asked him, feeling the need to voice her thoughts out loud. In fact, they felt so incredibly jumbled she felt speaking them out loud might force them to make sense.

Even that sounded insane, her mind wasn't making sense to her, and as someone who relied on her mind so much, Hermione found that most disturbing of all.

"What do you mean?" He asked, and she shivered at the husky sound to his voice, remembered the night before…

The attraction, desire, want.

The smell of his scent; cinnamon and apples, the view of him on the bed, handsome and hers. The possessiveness almost made her squeal in surprise, that was meant to be him, not her.

What on earth was this bond? What was it doing to her?

And God, what was left to come?

"I mean, we don't like each other, we woke up tangled in one another's arms" She said, indicating to them both, even sat up, their legs remained tangled, his arm thrown across her pillow from where it had been under her neck, her body pressed to his side, "And I should be throwing myself away from you, running away and screaming bloody murder" She paused, and yet felt no shame in her omission, she felt she'd surpassed embarrassment with Malfoy a while ago, "But I don't want to"

He paused then, paused for too long and Hermione near demanded he speak, the silence killing her.

"I know" Was all he returned, but as she opened her mouth to demand more, to demand he tell her what he was feeling or at least properly commiserate with her, instead, in one quick swoop he wrapped his arms back around her, only this time completely, as though to hug her, and rolled them over onto the bed, her under him, and without any kind of warning pulled her close, his weight pressed to hers, and pressed his nose to her neck.

A squeal did leave her lips that time, as he spun their positions, from where she'd been on his chest, to her being pressed under him. Oddly (or perhaps she should be used to it), she felt no concern he was trying to hurt nor take advantage of her, as she now did with Malfoy she felt completely and utterly safe.

It was the other things she felt that had her squeal. "What are you doing?" She attempted to say, and it did come out, but in a breathy tone, as her hands found his shoulders, and squeezed.

His nose against her neck pulled something like a whimper from her, and yet she didn't think Malfoy was trying it on with her, but rather keeping her from leaving, from maybe finding that logical part of her that would pull her away from him.

He had no idea she'd yet to find it and felt it might be lost … perhaps for good.

No, it wasn't fear she felt, but something else, a rush of desire to be sure, but also the contentment she'd felt from earlier near doubled, and Hermione didn't know she'd ever felt so at ease.

At ease and both a little flustered from desire. It was incredibly confusing, but as was the entire sorry situation.

"Malfoy…" She pulled out from her lips, he did nothing only held her close, as her hands found his shoulders, nails digging in, he didn't kiss her, or pull her closer or say anything, he just pressed her into the pillows, and skimmed his nose over her neck, keeping her close to him.

Forget ice cream melted into a puddle, she'd surely evaporated into the clouds and was floating on them.

Or perhaps she was flying, and for the first time it wasn't scaring her, but the rush was near exhilarating enough to make her dizzy.

"It's fine" He returned, and his voice sounded clearer than hers, and she knew she was screwed when that made her a touch annoyed rather than relieved, "I'm in control, I just don't want you to leave"

"Me neither" She whispered to admit it in a hushed voice, "What is wrong with us?"

"This damn bond" He returned his words to her neck, her skin, and she knew her cheeks must be a deep pink. She was in her school shirt and skirt but had kicked off her socks, and he was only in his school trousers, and so the skin-on-skin contact was intense.

It felt right.

"It feels intense" She said, feeling the need to keep the conversation going, or surely they'd just stay here forever, not that, that sounded so bad. "More than before"

"We've never been this close before" He noted, and she nodded against him, though that forced him upward a touch, and his nose skimmed her ear, her breath hitching as he did so.

And there was that desire again, there and clear.

She'd in truth never fancied Malfoy before. Sure, she'd known he was attractive, she wasn't blind, but she'd have been mad, a masochist to want him, no, she'd noted he was handsome, or 'beautiful' as she'd once thought to herself, but never desired him.

Now she did, it was clear to her, had become clearer last night, though had been present for a while simmering under her skin, and she no clue what to do with it.

"I…" She stumbled, what should she say? What could she say? She was new to this, completely new, a virgin with nothing more than a few kisses with Viktor Krum to her name.

And then, she noted something in her mind, not important for the moment, but noted that was all she would ever have with anyone not Draco Malfoy. With this bond as he'd said it, 'this was it for them', she'd never be with anyone else, ever.

A month ago, she'd cried over that fact.

Now she couldn't even imagine wanting to be with anyone else.

And that shook her out of it.

As, the bond was new between them, it was developing, and had developed so. She and Malfoy had come to a civil place but nothing like this. Yes, they'd craved one another's touch but it had always felt detached in a sense, they'd still disliked one another, still preferred to avoid one another, but now her mind was getting pulled into this mess, and as she wanted to press herself against him, to feel that contentment, that ease, the desire, the feeling of flying, her mind was happy with it, with a little happy hum.

When had she stopped cursing the bond?

She should still be, and that had her pushing against Draco's shoulders, pushing him away, in contrast to what she really wanted; to pull him closer.

To his credit he moved back as she did so, his eyes wide, and yet they were grey yes, his normal colour but this time threaded with gold.

"We need to go" She said, swallowing, her cheeks flushed, and her chest, hands shaking a little as Malfoy fell back onto his knees, and she forced herself to sit up, "We have to get back and leave before we get found here"

Malfoy nodded then, and perhaps he'd come to the same conclusion as her, perhaps he'd been thinking along the same lines, perhaps he'd come back to himself.

Either way, they dressed properly, gathered their things and then made their way to the door in silence.

Utter silence.

They were silent as they hurried through the corridors, Malfoy leading the way, hand up when she'd need to stop, ushering her forward when the coast was clear.

It would have been almost funny, perhaps she'd have giggled if she wasn't so shook up from the morning, from her own traitorous mind, and from what those revelations meant.

As they hurried down to the main living area, she suddenly craved to be alone for the first time that morning, mainly to unpack everything.

But then Malfoy slipped his hand into hers to tug her to the main entrance, out of the wards and into the grounds, and she let out a tiny little sigh, being away from him was necessary, but she did crave his touch.

'The effects will lessen in intensity with time and patience'

That she couldn't imagine, once she'd hoped for it, prayed for it, did she now?

What had happened to her?

"Ready?" Draco's words shook her out of her thoughts, he was tucking his wand away, clearly having repaired the wards, he squeezed her hand and pulled her a touch closer. At her nod, he flung them back to Hogwarts with a simple crack in the air of apparition, away from here, though Hermione's mind lingered on his room, on how good it had felt.

On how an awful traitorous part of her wished to go back.

Malfoy felt the same, she knew it, could almost feel it, even as he was the one to pull them away from Malfoy Manor and back to Hogwarts.

But as he did so neither noticed who had been watching them from the topmost window of the Manor.

ooof

there will be draco's pov next chapter, they both have a lot of unpacking to do

I hope you enjoyed, do review and let me know watcha thought!

speak soon