authorsnote: new twists, new turns...
do review
songrecs: daylight - david kushner (absolutely perfect for this fic)
She is cold.
She stomps her feet in her boots, shivering a little against the snow, she hadn't realised it would be quite so cold, it was only late October! And yet Scottish Winter had come early, and no warming charm lasted long enough to expel the chill she had from standing out in the open snow in only her coat, having forgotten her scarf in her fluster to leave for Hogsmeade, she stomps her feet again.
The Shrieking Shack stands imposing looming over her, but she doesn't fear it for ghosts, but remembers the splatter of blood up the wall of it, remembers the chains, passing through clutching Malfoys hand, the little tightening of his fists as he'd taken her through, the furrow of his brow, for what happened there.
What would happen there next week.
She didn't want to think about it.
It was odd, she wasn't worried for the effect on her (okay she was but it was outweighed), she knew it might hurt, might feel strange but she could accept that, it was Malfoy she was scared for.
It was still crazy to her, how she felt for him now, dislike still running there, but it felt childish compared to what else they had, not just the soul bond but what was brewing beside of it, because of it, whatever, it was there, it had been in him for a while and now it was getting to her, more and more and more.
She felt something for Draco Malfoy, something she knew wasn't just a forced mystical bond because she could feel it in her heart, not just her soul where they were connected.
And so, with his transformation coming in a week she is worried for him, knows even taking Wolfsbane diligently he'll still transform, still feel the snapping of his bones, the pain that will overtake him as he shifts. Feels an odd sense of terror at the thought of it, at the pain he'll feel and how she wishes she could take it away.
She stomps her feet again, trying to dispel her anxiety but as she stands next to the Shrieking Shack, five minutes early waiting for Malfoy, every time she glances at it, it comes back, running up her throat, threatening to choke her.
She is thankful when he arrives two minutes later.
"You look half frozen" He jokes, and yet before she can reply he is unwinding the Slytherin scarf, a very cosy looking scarf from around his neck and wrapping it around hers, getting into her personal space, she doesn't flinch, neither does he, they've kissed after all, a kiss that was perhaps one of the best things she'd ever felt, and one of the most confusing.
All confusing, as she leans in as he loops the scarf, brushes his gloved knuckles against her neck, and then steps back.
Yes, things between them have shifted.
"Thanks" She says as she burrows in the comfy cotton, immediately feeling better for it, can even smell Malfoy on it, hates how she breathes it in, hates how much things feel as though they've changed, hates how good they feel.
Confusing indeed.
Sometimes she wishes she didn't over-analyse her thoughts so much, didn't spend so much time thinking everything over about a thousand times, but that wasn't her, that wasn't Hermione, she overthought every single thing.
And this thing with Draco? With Malfoy? It was something she could think on for hours.
What did it mean? What was she feeling? Did it matter if it was the soulbond or something else? Was there anything else? Yes. Was there something more? Yes. Did she know for sure?
She didn't know.
"So, what's the plan?" She asked, her voice far too chirpy as she stomped her feet again, she knew she felt awkward, she knew things felt weird between them. She glanced up at Malfoy through her eyelashes, could see him smirking, probably knowing how awkward she felt, the bastard, but could also see something in his eyes she liked, even if she couldn't identify it, she could also see that gold glow that continued to cling to him, as it always did.
She still didn't know that as they kissed it had clung to her.
A tiny snippet of silence continued on, and Hermione squirmed; she didn't know how to deal with this, whatever it was between them. They weren't girlfriend and boyfriend, there was no formal commitment, and yet they had a promise that reached down to their souls, that settled their and would not be shaken, it was more than some silly dating relationship, it was fused within them.
And yet, her cheeks were stung pink from the cold, and her nerves, was this what it felt like all the same? Waiting for the other shoe to drop? Feeling awkward and nervous around Malfoy? Wanting …
Wanting to kiss him, she realised, cheeks darkening, but her embarrassment at her own desires only lasted a second.
For then he was kissing her.
And it was once again; perfect.
At least for a few moments, as his hands cupped her face, pulling her in close, as a little sigh of contentment left her lips as her head tipped back, his height dwarfing her as he pulled her close, her arms wrapping around him, pulling him close, close as can be, to which he deepened the kiss, and a little whimper left her lips.
It was perfect, for a few moments, the cold forgotten, only the feel of Malfoys hands cupping her face so delicately, his lips on hers, bruising but somehow tender, gripping at his coat to keep herself steady on tip toes, it was all consuming, all she could think of, all she needed, she could do this forever…
But then the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted them.
A shriek left her lips as she turned her head and realised they had company, and as Malfoy noted too, and quickly shoved her behind him, defensively it seemed, always ready to protect her, her surprised expression turned to horror as she realised who that company was.
Slytherin company.
3 Slytherins to be exact; Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson and Theodore Nott. All three of them stood together, all three of them with varying expressions.
Blaise smirking, Pansy with a look of disgust, Theo completely stoic and unreadable.
Hermione knew she was none of those things, instead she was shocked, cheeks pink, eyes wide, Malfoy was stoic now, shutting down his emotions as quickly as they had come to him, it was quite something to see, and her brow furrowed in concern, though she had bigger concerns.
"How didn't you hear them?" She whisper hissed, from where Malfoy had shoved her behind his back, a defensive move, one usually she'd berate him for, but she had no desire to face the Slytherins, and for once decided to call on Malfoys protection.
Just this once.
"I was a little distracted" He hissed back, raising an eyebrow so perfectly it had to be practiced, to which she glared at him.
"Hem, hem" Blaise did, in a so perfect impression of Umbridge she almost shivered, "I'm sure you've noticed us"
"Of course, they have" Pansy sneered, though she was looking slightly more gleeful now, a little smirk on her lip, Hermione shot her a vicious glare, she wouldn't be humiliated.
Yes, this wasn't ideal, but she had told Ginny, it would have been impossible to keep it secret forever, as much as she had hoped.
It hadn't been that long, they had so much left to figure out, she didn't want it to be public knowledge.
And she felt that nip of guilt at the back of her neck, if Malfoy's friends knew, her friends deserved to know, but she knew it would be so, so much worse.
Though, she had the Slytherins to deal with first.
"What are you doing Draco?" Pansy said, glaring at her just as viciously, "Hanging around with her"
"Not a fucking word" Draco snapped back and Hermione at least noted ruefully he wasn't ashamed of her, probably couldn't be. She was relieved he wouldn't mock her, or couldn't at least, though it certainly didn't make things easier.
There would be no hiding this or downplaying it, she wasn't sure it that was a relief or a worry.
She should have wanted to, to pretend there was nothing here, that would have been much easier, and yet there was something in her, yanking in her chest, that had her walking around to step next to Malfoy, to stand with him, something that told her she shouldn't be ashamed of this, that she should be proud.
Just another aspect of the soul-bond she had no doubt, another oddity that was thrust upon them.
But one that felt clean in her chest, clean and raw, that she daren't be ashamed.
"Malfoy" Blaise interrupted, "Do tell us what is going on" He looked bored then, somehow more aristocratic than Malfoy, utterly composed and even a hint smug. It was far more infuriating. He smirked as she caught his eye; he knew it too.
Theodore continued to watch silent, taking it all in, perhaps the most dangerous of the three of them.
She remembered when this had all started, thinking Blaise or Theo would be a better option than Malfoy, the thought of that now made something burn with fury inside of her.
And she knew it wasn't just the bond.
"You know what happened over summer" He said, and she raised an eyebrow, turned to look at him, but he continued to watch his friends, "This is a result of that"
"You told them?" She asked, hissed again, as she often did when annoyed.
"Not about us" He returned, speaking normally this time, and she knew her cheeks bloomed pink then, as though she were his girlfriend, it had never been formalised as that, she wasn't, was she?
Perhaps it was something more.
"So, you know he's a werewolf?" Hermione asked, and she was shocked to see all three Slytherins looked sombre for a flicker, before it was gone.
Just like Malfoy, perhaps it was a Slytherin trait, hiding their emotions so well, whereas Gryffindors wore them on the surface. One of many differences.
"Of course, we do" Pansy sneered, "Wouldn't Potter and Weasley know if it were you?"
"Yes, but-" She began.
"Yes, but you think we're not as close to Malfoy as you are to them?" Theodore interjected, his voice was gentle she noted, and she realised she'd never spoken to him much, other than in class, he was often third behind her and Malfoy, smart.
"I…" She stumbled, making assumptions, "I didn't know"
"Why would you?" Blaise asked then, bored, posh, getting under her skin, and again by his smirk he knew it, "But yes we know"
"Don't you all hate him then?" She asked, knowing their prejudices, hating them, but an intense need to protect Draco rose up in her then, like fire licking in her veins, even without any hint she needed to protect him, she still stepped forward, "With your prejudices"
"We could never" Pansy said furiously, glaring right back at her.
"Oh, I'm sure you'd show just as much restraint if it wasn't Malfoy" She sneered, not realising just how much she looked like Malfoy when doing that now, they certainly saw it though, "Its okay because he's your friend?"
"Lets not act …" Blaise began but then stopped abruptly, smirking still, "I won't finish that thought, not unless I want my throat ripped out"
"Smart" Malfoy said, but there was something to his tone.
Hermione picked it up immediately, and she knew her face fell a touch, that implication that she'd been desperately trying to avoid in all of this.
That Malfoy was only interested in her now, was only kissing her, only excusing her heritage because of the bond.
She knew without it he'd still call her mudblood.
His hand took hers then, squeezed it, it was a bitter pill to swallow but one she supposed she'd have to make her peace with, she'd ignored it up until now, knowing he only held her now, kissed her, stroked her eyelids with reverence and kissed her forehead because he either thought himself as dirty as her, or the bond alone could force past the issue.
Bitter indeed.
And a conversation they'd need to have, but not now, not here.
Now she had Slytherins to deal with.
"I'd appreciate if you keep this quiet" Hermione said then, winding her fingers through Malfoys then, squeezing back, she needed his strength now, even though her mind was rattled, she'd probably cry later, but that was later, "Harry and Ron don't know yet, and … and I don't need the drama around the school"
"Ashamed Granger?" Pansy said with malice.
"Never" She shot back so quickly they all looked shocked, as did she, Malfoy too.
"Be careful Pansy" Malfoy interjected, and she could see a flicker of his gold in his eye, he'd been quiet so far, likely because these were his friends, but he wouldn't stand for insults, not towards her, she knew that.
Knew him now maybe, at least a little, knew them.
Her mind continued to spin.
"I just … I need to tell them I know" She said with a sigh, it would be utterly horrid, but she knew she had to, knew she couldn't keep sneaking out, and if Malfoys friends knew, hers deserved to as well. "I'll get Ginny to help maybe" She considered but passed over, it would be easier just the three of them.
"Ginny knows?" Malfoy asked in annoyance, and she shot him a glare this time, though her gaze softened as she met his, as he continued to clutch his hand, wearing his scarf, what was this bond doing to her?
"She saw us" She said, biting down on her lip, another reason Harry and Ron had to know, what had Ginny said?
'These things have a way of getting out, they always do'
"Well then" Blaise said, interrupting, "Since we're all ignoring the utter shock of this, and not even questioning how this is connected to your new … status Malfoy, can I at least ask when it started?"
"First day on the train" Malfoy replied, he seemed relieved they were past the shock and insults, but his back remained up, to defend her she knew, it would be touching if her head wasn't aching with what she had to do, and what had been implied here.
"Well good job hiding it" Pansy said, "But Weaslette saw you, people will find out"
"I'll tell Harry and Ron" Hermione said, she would have to, tonight, and the thought made her sick. Harry would hate it, as he did Malfoy, but perhaps him knowing about Malfoy would make him back down, but then … what could she tell him? She paled.
"Tell them everything" Malfoy interrupted, as though he could read her mind, perhaps he could, perhaps it would be easier if he could help in that regard, her thoughts as intense and as jumbled as they were, perhaps she should analyse why she felt comfortable letting Malfoy into her mind, not a hint of worry.
Fucked.
Hadn't they called themselves that once? Perhaps they had been right.
"Really?" She asked, surprised.
"They're your friends" He said, struggling it seemed a little with this, she knew he didn't want anyone to know, not about him, the mark on his arm, she understood, but he was right here, "They will keep digging, tell them, but keep them quiet"
She nodded, she would, she'd ensure it. Hopefully Harry would calm down when he realised Malfoy was on her side, not theirs, but hers at least, but Ron? She paled again, that would be ugly she knew.
But necessary.
"Well, in danger of being mauled by Malfoy, I'll point it out" Pansy said, snapping them out of it now, hands on her hips, and Hermione got the odd sense she actually cared for Malfoy, but there was no jealousy for Hermione, you could hardly get more secure than a soul bond, and she was oddly glad he had others looking after him, even if it were Pansy Parkinson, glaring at them both now, "This" She pointed between them, "Is a terrible fucking idea"
"It's not like it's an idea" Malfoy threw back, "It's happening"
"Why?" She asked, "Why? You say because of your … status" Hermione noted that, the Slytherins tiptoeing around calling Malfoy a werewolf, their discomfort or his? "What does that mean? Because you know what this will mean"
"What?" Hermione asked, wide eyed, her thirst for knowledge more important than her dislike for Pansy, who loudly scoffed at her question.
"You're not naïve Hermione" Theodore interrupted then, "Think beyond school, think about Dracos parents, about who put that mark on his arm"
"I know" Hermione said, and she realised then as she looked down it was the hand of Malfoys she was holding; it took everything in her not to step back and tear their hands apart.
Everything.
"Do you?" Blaise interrupted then, and then there was the worst thing flickering in his gaze; a hint of pity.
"It's not like we had a choice" She fumed.
They all looked confused at that, but Malfoy cut in, she couldn't read him, though she could sense something simmering.
"We're soul-bonded" He said, and at that, Pansy gasped, even Blaise's eyes widened, only Theo remained impassive, though he looked contemplative.
"Well, that's that then" Blaise said, and Hermione's eyes widened, at how quickly they accepted it, though Pansy continued to glare at her like it was somehow her fault. "Have you thought up a plan?"
"No" Malfoy said honestly, "We've been trying to research it, but there's limited information out there, we need to know what we're in to plan I think"
"Yes" Theodore said, "I'll write to my Father for books, call it a school project" He said, "Perhaps the Nott Manor has something the Malfoy doesn't"
"I'll do the same" Blaise offered and glanced at Pansy.
"I will too of course" She sneered, but it was had lost its edge.
What was happening here?
"Thank you" Hermione said cautiously, Blaise smirked, Pansy glared, Theo impassive, perhaps that was their defaults.
She'd have to get used to it she supposed.
"I'm going to leave now" She said, taking a step back, and dropping Malfoys hand, equal parts relief at not being near that mark hit her, and the urge to step back and grab him again. She chose the former, "I need to get back and work out how I'm going to do this"
"I'll walk you" Malfoy said, took a step but then stopped, realised he couldn't, and nodded, stepped back, "Meet me later"
"The library" She said with a nod, they couldn't be apart until tomorrow, even with the kissing, the ache would start, and it had been gone for so long, she couldn't stand the thought of it coming back. Problematic in itself.
Fucked indeed.
"Ew I don't want to know what you get up to in the library" Pansy said, but oddly it was more jovial than mean.
"I do" Blaise leered, and Hermione blinked stupidly in shock, to which he laughed.
Hermione took that as her cue, nodded once more at Malfoy, had to resist the urge to kiss him, pull him close, and instead turned away, stomping through the snow, her hands aching, her mind the biggest mess it perhaps ever had been.
Slytherin scarf still around her neck.
Perhaps people would find out sooner, rather than later.
Perhaps something in the bond wanted them to.
boom, other characters come into play!
next chapter harry and ron ... how d'you think it'll go?
speak soon