"Your hatred, your anger," Sheev Palpatine said, chuckling in what he probably thought was a kindly fashion. "You want to kill me… that is what I want. Kill me, and my spirit will pass into you."

Rey frowned.

"...I have several questions," she said. "Firstly, uh… are you trans? Because there are more ethical ways to transition. I'm sure there must be less ethical ways as well, but I'm having trouble thinking of one right now."

"What?" Palpatine said. "No. I'm not. I have access to matchless genetic engineers and the ability to transfer my spirit into a new body. Cease this nonsense."

"You have to admit, it's the first thing to come up," Rey countered.

"I have to admit no such thing," Palpatine said, crossly.

"Right," Rey disagreed. "Anyway, moving on… how does that work, exactly?"

Palpatine tutted.

"I have the ability to transfer my spirit into another body," he reiterated. "Like this one."

"So that isn't the body you were in when you were thrown down a shaft overlooking the Death Star reactor?" Rey asked. "Because, honestly, it looks like it was. If you were going to make a body why would it look like it was over a hundred years old and had been blown up at least once?"

"Because-" Palpatine began, then shook his head. "It doesn't matter!"

"Only, I've heard about the Kaminoan clones," Rey went on. "And I get that the average one would be physically about a hundred and thirty by now, but if your genetic engineers were matchless I just think you could have done, you know… yourself at forty years old."

She shook her head. "But that's not the important bit, not really. If you can transfer your spirit into another body, how does that work?"

"All the Sith live in me," Palpatine said, in case Rey hadn't heard that.

"That isn't actually a very useful explanation," Rey objected. "In fact, so far I haven't heard anything that indicates you're not just an insane clone who assumed he was my grandfather."

"Insolent girl!" Palpatine snapped, then brought his temper under control. "It works, because it has worked for a thousand years. It is the Banite way."

Rey looked blank.

"...the Rule of Two?" Palpatine tried. "The rule that there are always only two Sith, no more, and no less?"

"Okay," Rey said. "Who's the other one?"

Palpatine was silent for a moment.

"The position is open," he conceded. "Open for you, my granddaughter! Strike me down and become the eternal Sith!"

"At which point there would still only be one," Rey pointed out, helpfully. "What does Banite mean?"

"It is the way of the Sith!" Palpatine said.

"Helpful," Rey said. "Well… actually, no, not helpful. Completely unhelpful."

Palpatine sighed.

"Darth Bane was the last survivor of the Sith, somewhat more than a thousand years ago," he said, with a semblance of patience. "To put an end to the infighting that had led the Sith to lose the war with the Jedi, he imposed the Rule of Two. That rule is that there will be a Master, to embody power, and an Apprentice, to strive for it. Eventually the Apprentice grows strong, and attempts to take power from the Master."

Palpatine chuckled. "If the Apprentice is defeated, they were not strong enough. If the Apprentice wins, and slays their Master, then the power of the Master flows into the Apprentice – and the Master live on, in the new Master. And the cycle continues. So all Sith will live as one."

"...I still have several questions," Rey said.

Palpatine rolled his eyes.

"Of course you do," he said. "And no doubt they will be as tiresome and tedious as your previous ones."

"Who are you, then?" Rey asked. "Are you Sheev Palpatine?"

"Yes," Palpatine answered. "Of course. You know this."

"Just checking," Rey replied. "Because it's that or you're Darth Bane. But you talked about Darth Bane in the third person. In the past tense. Which I think means that if this actually happened the you who's speaking wouldn't be the Master. Someone else would be."

Palpatine looked vaguely troubled, then shook his head.

"It matters not!" he said. "You will strike me down, you will become Empress, and we will be one!"

"I've already pointed out some flaws there," Rey countered. "But there's something else, too. The way you described it, with the Apprentice killing the Master – that's the way it's worked for a thousand years?"

"For a thousand years!" Palpatine confirmed.

"It's always been a Sith apprentice?" Rey pressed. "Always someone using the Dark Side of the Force?"

"Of course!" Palpatine declared. "We were secret from the Jedi for all that time!"

"Then it doesn't actually sound like you know how this works very well," Rey said. "You've been assuming that my striking you down would turn me into a Sith. But that's not what happens when you strike down a Sith."

Palpatine frowned.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"I thought it was obvious," Rey replied. "The Jedi and the Sith went to war in the past, and the Jedi won. Which would be impossible if striking down a Sith made you a Sith. It's just that up to this point all the people who this ritual has happened to are Sith. It doesn't turn them into Sith, they were already Sith."

She waved her hand. "The idea that killing a Sith makes you fall to the Dark Side actually sounds so ridiculously convenient for the Sith that I bet they'd say it a lot."

"...Anakin Skywalker was not a Sith when he killed Count Dooku," Palpatine said, reluctantly, as if he wasn't quite sure if it was good or bad for his own argument. "And he fell to the Dark Side."

"I've heard a lot about him," Rey replied. "Mostly from Ben, who I think is a Vader superfan, he spent months using our weird connection to talk about it."

"...what weird connection?" Palpatine asked.

"Oh, and just to be clear," Rey added. "I know about the Force Lightning."

Palpatine was distracted from the distraction from his original topic, and blinked at Rey.

"What," he asked.

"I know about the Force Lightning," Rey reiterated, drawing both lightsabers – Leia's one and the Skywalker lightsaber. "You're both armed and a man who's credibly declared war on the whole galaxy, which I think makes you hostis sapiens generis."

"Strike me down, and-" Palpatine said, and Rey did, on both the previously stated grounds and also because as an extremely old man who was literally asking for it it was probably more expedient than going to a specialist clinic.

"Rey?" Ben asked, a couple of minutes later, as he entered the underground room. "I get the idea you're here?"

He waved the blue lightsaber around. "Thanks for this, by the way, because, uh… otherwise I really would have had trouble with my old followers. Just wondering, what was going on?"

"Oh, right," Rey replied. "I should probably explain. Shut up."

"Huh?" Ben asked.

"Not you, them," Rey replied. "Since I passed you the lightsaber they've all been going on about a mythical dyad. I've got about… twenty Sith Lords in my head now."

"Are you all right?" Ben said, worried. "How did that even happen?"

"I struck Palpatine down," Rey replied. "Which, as he warned me, meant that the Sith passed into me… but, as they apparently didn't realize, that doesn't actually give them control or make me evil or anything. It's just that everyone who'd done it before was a Sith."

Ben absorbed that.

"Huh," he said. "Are you okay?"

"I may need psychological counselling," Rey replied. "But I've heard of intrusive thoughts and I think this doesn't really rise much above that. Anyway, I've given the proper succession codes and told the Final Order to stop trying to shoot down the Resistance… any idea what I should do next?"

That made Ben pause.

"You've got twenty Sith Lords giving you suggestions?" he asked, still a bit hung up on that.

"Yes, but none of them are helpful in this situation," Rey replied. "Plagueis, for example, is telling me to cut their pay, and I can't even tell if that's a good or bad move here because my main concept of money is dehydrated muffin portions."

Ben had the feeling he had a very strange expression on his face right then.

"...dehydrated muffin portions?" he asked.

"Jakku was not a particularly pleasant place to grow up," Rey replied. "And Sidious isn't shutting up about how Naboo was just as bad because it had aliens. I think my grandfather's mostly just racist."

She shrugged. "Still, plus side, now the Sith are having an argument about which species is the best, so that should get them out of my hair for a while…"

AN:

Oddly enough, killing a man who is literally asking for it is not automatically an evil act.