A Chance for a Better Life
Chapter Eight
Now that Jamie was home, Danny moved back to his and Linda's apartment. He was happy to be back at his apartment with Linda, but he had the same fear when Jamie was in the hospital, that he was going to get the call that his baby brother had died. Linda could feel the fear radiating off of Danny and she wished she could do something about it, but that wasn't possible.
Joe's apartment lease was up, and he decided to give it up, and move home. He didn't want something to happen because no one could be at the house with Jamie, or everyone was so busy that they missed something. He knew that his dad still felt guilty about how Jamie had been found and vowed to make sure that never happened again. Joe knew that his mom and dad both had nightmares about the day Jamie had been found.
No one was happier about graduation than Erin. It had been a tough year for her in more ways than one, and she was happy to move onto the next chapter in her life. She couldn't wait to move into her dorm at Columbia. She loved Jamie, but she was looking forward to some space away from all of his drama as she called it. She was ready for a break from the hospital trips and hearing Jamie get sick after his treatments.
Jamie's next round of treatment had started, and he never thought that his summer would be spent at home with multiple trips to different doctors and the hospital. He understood the importance of his treatments, but he hated how they made him feel and how he worried the rest of the family.
Jamie was happy that the doctor let him he attend Erin's graduation ceremony. He wouldn't have to miss it, and it was a wonderful gift he'd been given. He'd been to Danny and Joe's, and he thought that they were amazing, and he couldn't be prouder of what his older siblings had achieved and hoped he'd get to walk across the same stage some someday. He hoped he'd get to see Joe and Danny's Academy graduations too.
Grades came in and Erin missed being valedictorian by a few percentage points. She was second in her class, and she was pissed off. She thought that she should've been valedictorian and it didn't matter than another kid in her class out worked her. Jamie got report card too. He had no idea that Frank and Mary were hoping that he passed and nothing beyond that. They had multiple conversations about how the treatment would affect Jamie's brain and his ability to concentrate. He knew he'd struggled some with everything that was going on, but he was heartbroken to find he'd gotten a C in science. He'd never gotten a grade that low before. He wasn't thinking that he'd been sick and hadn't been in a classroom for three months. All he was thinking was that he was gonna get in trouble. He'd seen Danny get in trouble for bad grades, and he'd just assumed that they all were good students like himself.
Frank had been back at work and had been working some long hours getting caught up. Having Joe back at home gave him a little piece of mind knowing that there was another person to help and watch over Jamie.
Jamie walked into the living room with his head down and he was trying not to cry.
"Jamie, what's wrong? Do you feel okay?" Joe's Reagan gut was going was ramping into full gear. Something was wrong. He worried he needed to get Jamie to the hospital.
"I'm fine. I'll be all good for my next treatment. I'm worried that dad's gonna be mad. I got my report card today." Jamie was holding back tears.
"What are you worried about? Did you get a B or something?" Joe was trying not to laugh, and lift Jamie's spirits a little. He knew the stress wasn't good for him.
Jamie shook his head.
"Did you fail a class?"
"No! I did get a bad grade though."
"Jamie, you know because of what happened last year that you have some leeway. Mom and Dad can go back and talk to your teacher, and you can re-do the assignments that you messed up."
"Joe, I've never got a grade this bad before. I won't let it happen again. I'll ask for help next time. I promise."
It was hard for Joe to watch Jamie freak out. He still looked sick. He was still too thin, hadn't regrown any of his hair back, and wouldn't until this next round of treatment was completed.
"Jamie, breath for me okay. In…. Out… In…. Out…. " Joe paused watched Jamie cautiously. "Come on Jamie, breath. You can do this."
Jamie followed Joe's breathing and started to feel better. The last thing he wanted was for this grade to upset him enough that he got sick and ended up back in the hospital. He knew if he was well enough that he'd get to go back to school after the summer.
Once Jamie had calmed down. Joe put his arm around his shoulders.
"Jamie, no one is going to be mad at you for a bad grade."
"But if I don't get better grades I won't get into college. I remember Mom used to be upset with Danny over his grades too."
"Jamie, you will get into college. You're only going into seventh grade. It will be okay, and Danny was getting all bad grades, and he didn't have any excuses. What subject is the bad grade in?"
"I got a C in science." Jamie now had tears flowing down his cheeks.
Joe was trying to hard not to laugh. Danny almost failed out of school, and he had done better than Danny, but he'd gotten his fair share of C's. "Jamie, it will be okay. Are you tired or do you want to help me and Mom with dinner?"
"Dinner. I have another treatment next week, so I need to do what I want this week."
In the kitchen Mary notices that Jamie's upset, but Joe shakes his head, and whispers that he'll explain later. Joe was Jamie's great protector and Jamie didn't really think about it, because to him Joe was just his best friend. Mary understood and was happy that Joe had moved back in. She knew if the situation was bad Joe would have let her know and taken care of the situation.
Dinner was quiet. Danny and Linda were on a road trip, and Erin was staying with friends for a couple days.
After dinner everyone was reading when Jamie disappeared to his room to get his report card. He walked up to Mary and Frank with a sad scared look on his face.
"Mom, Dad, I got my report card today. I'm so sorry." Jamie was trying to be strong. He didn't want to cry in front of his dad.
"Why are you sorry?" Mary doesn't see anything wrong. He got all A's and one C. Considering that he spent two of the last three months in the hospital that was amazing.
"Jamie, this is great!" Frank saw a note on the back that Jamie got a C in science because he was unable to participate in the lab work, and that he got all A's on everything he turned in.
"Dad, I've never gotten a C before. What if it stops me from getting into college."
Joe couldn't help it. He started laughing. He'd usually had at least one C a report card, and Erin had a couple in there too. She hadn't since she started high school, but none of them had any of the hurdles that Jamie had during his entire life.
"You will be fine Jamie. I'm not worried. I bet this is gonna make you work harder in science and it will never happen again." Frank was working so hard not to laugh with Joe. He'd struggle to get grades higher than a C.
"What if I can't go to school next year cause I have to go back to the hospital or because too many people are sick and it's too high risk like the doctor said?" Jamie was starting to panic.
"We will work with your teachers to figure out a plan if something like happens but let's not worry about that right now." Frank and Mary are focusing on the fact that Jamie's still here. They've both had nightmares that he hadn't survived.
"Ok, so I'm not in trouble." Jamie didn't understand why they weren't mad at him, but his panic was subsiding.
"No." Joe, Mary, and Frank all say at once.
As Mary and Jamie are leaving his treatment the doctor asks to talk with Mary while Jamie is asked to go with nurse Lindsey for a few minutes.
"What is it Dr. Mays?" Mary was worried. Usually, they went right home because despite different medications Jamie had been given, he was still getting sick after his treatments.
"Mrs. Reagan, we're worried about Jamie relapsing and feel like his best chances for a long recovery are to get a bone marrow transplant. Now as I understand he's adopted?" Dr. Mays understood hearing this news was hard especially when their sons test results had been positive recently.
"Yes, he is."
"Does he have any living relatives that could be tested?"
Mary sighed. "His birth father is in prison and would be my last choice. What if he doesn't get a transplant?"
Dr. Mays sighed not expecting the answer she got. "His chances are better with a transplant. Have you and your family been tested?"
"Yes."
Dr. Mays felt like she had to give good news too. "There have recently been a couple big drives to get people registered. There was one at John Jay about four months ago and last month the NYPD did a big drive.
"I know. My middle son registered at John Jay, and the rest of the family registered with the NYPD drive."
"Mary, please be optimistic. I think that we'll find a donor. We never imagined that we'd register as many people as we did."
The two continue the conversation for a few minutes when Mary know that she has to get Jamie home.
Mary went home and called the family together and gave them the update. Another level of fear was added onto the family and considering how well Jamie was doing it wasn't expected. They all decided that they didn't want to know what was going on yet after they saw how stressed out, he was about his report card.
Two days later Jamie is at home recovering with Henry while Frank, Mary, and Joe are all called into the doctor's office, but Joe was asked to go in first.
"Hi Joe, thank you for coming today." Dr. Mays said as they walked into her office.
"Will Jamie be, okay?"
Dr. Mays took a deep breath. She'd seen many things in her time as a doctor. "I hope so, but that's not a something that I can promise." She watched Joe deflate and knew that information was hard to hear. "But I think that you can help."
"You do?"
"Joe, you're a match. We would like to do some more tests if you agree, but you might be able to donate if that's still something you'd be interested in."
Joe's face lit up. He was a match. Jamie's chances just got better. "Yes, when can I start the tests?"
"I thought that you might be your response. You can meet Nurse Lindsey outside and she'll take you to begin the testing. I will take a couple of hours."
"Okay." Joe had another question that he was hesitant to ask and decided that he was going to be able to donate so he didn't need to ask the question.
A few minutes later he was following Linda, who was aware what was going on, to start his testing, and Frank and Mary made their way into the doctor's office.
"Hi Mary and Frank. Thanks for coming down. How's Jamie feeling today?"
"The new medication's helping he wasn't as sick this time, but he's been sleeping most of today." Mary wished it would've been herself going through all of this.
"I have good news for you. We have found three matches. Two of them are already being tested. Your son Joe is a match, and he's currently being tested, we have a second match who's begun testing yesterday and the third match is Jamie's birth father, but I understand that he has a history of drug abuse." Dr. Mays explained and watched the worried parents carefully for their reactions.
Mary smiled and Frank took her hand and squeezed.
"Yes, he does, and I'm guessing because he was tested, he was told what's going on with Jamie?" Frank asked not happy that he was told something about their son without their knowledge.
"No, he wasn't. He was deemed healthy enough to test but deemed questionable because of his drug history. If it came down where we had no other choice, he would never know who he was donating to."
Frank let out a sigh of relief. He hoped that either Joe or the other match were able to donate, but then he started worrying about Joe.
"Good. When will we know if any of them pass all of the tests?" Mary asked anxiously.
"A few days for Joe and our second match."
Dr. Mays explained the next steps and if either one of the first two matches meet all of the criteria that the transplant could happen within the next month.
Joe's anxious and is worried that he won't meet all of the criteria. He hopes that he can help save Jamie's life. Joe only has to wait two more days before he gets the call that he's met the criteria. They want to have a meeting with the four of them to discuss with Jamie what comes next.
Two weeks later Joe and Jamie are being prepped and the entire family is anxious. Danny hates that both of his younger brothers are in possible danger. It was an hour later that they were told Joe had been moved into his room. He was sore and sleeping, and they could visit him. It was another couple of hours before they were told that they could see Jamie. Jamie would be in the hospital for about a month while Joe would get to go home the next morning.
Jamie woke up and found his mom watching him carefully. "Mom, how's Joe?" Jamie's voice was scratchy but was strong.
Mary smiled through her worried tears that she hoped Jamie hadn't seen. "He's great. He gets to go home today, but he's gonna come and see you before he does."
"I slept all day yesterday and all night?"
"Yeah, but you needed it and the doctors and nurses checked on you to make sure that you were okay."
Jamie just looked at his mom. He was still a little out of it despite his best efforts. "Where's dad?"
"He just went for a walk, but he's here and so is grandpa, Danny, and Erin. Linda's here but working, so we are all here."
Jamie just shook his head up and down before falling back to sleep.
Two hours later Joe was rolled in and looked much better than he had the last time Mary had seen him. "How's Jamie?"
"He's in and out now. He seems good when he's awake."
Jamie woke up hearing the conversation. "Joe! Are you okay?"
"Yeah buddy, I'm great. I have to go home and rest a little while. I'll come back to visit as soon as I can."
"Okay. Love you, Joe."
A month later Jamie was home and on a new set of medications. His hair has started growing back and his energy level was getting better each day. It was unclear if his immune system was strong enough for him to start back to school yet, but he would find out in his subsequent doctor's appointment.
August is a very busy month. Erin moves into her dorm at Columbia, and she couldn't be more excited. She was getting the freedom she'd craved. Jamie's preparing to go back to school and is feeling nervous and excited. Mary's struggling with Erin leaving the house, and everything Jamie's going through. Mary's afraid that Jamie's going back to school. She's had nightmares that he gets sick because his immune system isn't strong enough yet. The bright area of her life is helping Linda plan their wedding. The only graduation Jamie wasn't able to make it to was Linda's nursing school graduation. Frank stayed home with him, while the remainder of the family attended. It was too high risk for him to be at the hospital where the graduation took place. Danny had told him all about it and showed him a lot of pictures. He thought that it was really cool and felt bad that he couldn't go.
Danny hadn't been around much because he was preparing to start at the academy, and he was nervous because of his families legacy. He's happy that Jamie's cancer was now in remission, and he was back home. He knew that Jamie still had a lot of doctor's appointments to make sure he wasn't fighting an infection and that everything was okay since the transplant.
"Dad, I almost failed out of high school, how am I supposed to make it through the academy. Everyone keeps telling me that it's going to be a lot different than boot camp because of the academics. I'm not good at school."
"It will be. You have to know and understand the law, and there's a lot to learn." Frank knew Danny would have to work really hard.
"Dad, what if I fail. What else can I do?"
"Danny, all you need to do is pass each class I don't care about if you're top or bottom. Your grandpa was at the top, and I was at the bottom."
"Really."
"What else is wrong? It seems like more than just worry about school."
"I haven't been able to see Jamie much lately. How's he doing? Mom said he's sleeping again, and that he had another doctor's appointment."
"He is. Thankfully he's doing so much better than he was, and his doctor's appointments will get less as time goes on. The doctor said that his energy will keep going up. It's important for him to sleep when he needs to." Frank was looking forward to the day all Jamie got to be a normal kid.
"That kid is so strong. I don't think I've ever seen anyone as strong as he is." Danny can't help but to look upstairs towards Jamie's room.
"He is. Your grandfather reminds Jamie when he's down that trait is what makes him a Reagan more than any name or piece of paper."
"Jamie and Grandpa have been spending lots of time together. Has Jamie had doubts again?"
"Yeah, a few months ago, after he was really sick and, in the ICU, he thought that we regretted adopting him because he was too much trouble. Your mom, Joe and I handled it."
"Dad, do you think Jamie will be well enough to be in the wedding?"
"I think so, but where? He's too old to be the ring bearer and too young to stand up for you."
"Linda and I talked about it. She's having Erin and her sister stand up for her. I want Joe and Jamie. Since we've been living together and have most of the things, we need we're asking that people donate to either St. Brenden's Soup Kitchen and Homeless Shelter or The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society."
"How did you chose those charities?"
"Really dad?" Danny sighed; he thought it was obvious.
"No not that. I know why, and he's sleeping upstairs. What I want to know is why you two chose them for yourselves and did you chose them both or did Linda chose one."
"I chose the soup kitchen because it's why Jamie's here, and Linda chose the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. You're gonna see her more too. She's starting at Mount Sinai in the oncology ward in two weeks."
"Wow, that's amazing. I thought she wanted to work in the ER?"
"She did, but after spending so much time with Jamie she changed her mind after she noticed what a difference the nurses made on Jamie's bad days. She'd come up during my time with him and the nurses would invite her on their break so she could ask questions."
"Danny, you don't have anything to worry about. You have so many people who will help you, and you know who can help you create the best study habits."
"Jamie."
"And I know being able to help someone would boost his confidence." Frank knows it will get the two of them spending some more time together too.
September comes and again Jamie's health is improving. He's allowed to go back to school, but not back to any sports yet. Jamie's okay with that because his new normal is better than what normal was three months earlier. His primary focus is improving his understanding of science. He doesn't want to get a bad grade again.
Jamie had a great first week of school. He was so happy to be doing something normal. The last six months had made his early years seam easy. Jamie came home his first day, got all of his books out and started studying subjects he felt he was weak on. He studied until dinner time. Each day was the same the entire week. Frank, Mary, and Joe all noticed, but they knew that they had to give Jamie some space. Jamie still had some limitations, so they wanted to make sure that they let him have some independence.
Erin was loving life at Columbia. She was doing everything she could to only come home on Sunday's. She loved her family but was really loving her freedom. Joe was trying to decide if he was going to get a place of his own again. He was trying to figure out what he wanted. Now everyone was worried that Jamie was going to get an infection.
Once the new norm had been established. Jamie had an appointment at the hospital once a month for a check-up, and to see how he's doing overall. Each check-up ends positively, but Jamie lives with a constant fear that the cancer will come back. He's not the only one, but everyone else keeps it to themselves because they don't want to add to Jamie's anxiety.
The intense focus Jamie's had on school hasn't gone unnoticed. He hadn't been reading unless it was for school. He still wasn't allowed to do a lot of other activities, but he wasn't even playing basketball with Joe, or going to the cemetery to see his mom.
"Jamie come and help me make dinner." Mary yelled from the kitchen.
"Yes mom." It hadn't occurred to him that he hadn't done anything else other than go to school and study because he was back at school and that made him happy.
"Did you finish your homework?"
"Yes." Jamie was afraid he was getting in trouble for not doing enough around the house.
"What are you working on?"
"Science."
"Why don't you take a break and help me with dinner, and then later we can all play a game after dinner."
"Okay." Jamie gets to work cutting the potatoes, and as soon as he's done, he cleans the knife and cutting board that he used.
"Jamie, are you okay?" Mary worried more for Jamie than any of her other kids just because of everything that's happened to him. Everything that's been out of his control.
"Yeah, I feel great." Jamie smiled.
"No, I mean all you do is work on schoolwork. I know that you don't have that much homework two weeks into the new school year. What's going on, talk to me or your dad. He'll be home in about an hour."
"I can't run track, and Mark moved at the end of last year, and I didn't know until the first day of school this year. I'm the weird cancer kid. It's been hard being back at school."
"Why haven't you said anything?"
"There's no point. It's just going to take time. I'm okay." Jamie moved his focus to the vegetables. He didn't want to talk about this or anything about himself.
"But you're not. All you do is study. I know it has to be hard right now, but you have to do something other than just schoolwork. You need to have a life too."
"I have a life, it's just quiet right now." Jamie started setting the table, except he wanted to hide under it.
"Let's talk to the doctor next month and see how we can get you out a little more before flu season starts. Then we'll find some fun stuff to do around the house."
"Okay. It really is okay." Jamie looked at his mom. "Can I visit my mom tomorrow after school?"
Mary smiled. This is what she wanted to get Jamie out of his shell and out of the house a little. "Yes, do you want me or someone to come with you?"
"Can Joe come with me?"
"As long as he doesn't have a class or have to work. You 'll have to ask him."
Ten minutes later dinner begins. Danny and Linda have a rare weekday off and are able to come to dinner. Erin claimed she had dinner with friends, and she would see them on Sunday.
"How's school going Jamie?" Linda wondered how Jamie was handling everything. School was only a couple of months in.
"Good. All A's so far." Jamie smiled.
"You are a little brainiac kid, but I'm glad for it." Danny had learned a lot about good study methods from his little brother.
"Really, all the studying you've been doing with Jamie paying off at the academy?" Joe cocked an eyebrow at his oldest brother.
"Yeah, kid knows what he's doing. He's helped me figure some stuff out." Danny laughed.
"Jamie's a pretty amazing kid." Frank smiled at his youngest.
Jamie blushed and put his head down. He hated any attention good or bad and he'd gotten more than enough over the last six months. Being the shy kid, everyone ignored wasn't so bad.
"Joe, are you busy tomorrow afternoon?" Jamie asked as Danny and his dad started talking about the academy and his mom and Linda were focused on wedding preparations.
"Nope. The only thing I'm doing tomorrow is working on homework. I have a big paper due next week."
"Will you take me to the cemetery after school?"
"Absolutely." Joe smiled. His mom must have had the conversation with Jamie about getting out a little more. "We can do something after too if you want."
"Okay." Jamie smiled.
The remainder of dinner was loud. Danny and Joe had the entire family laughing at their jokes. Linda was crying she was laughing so hard. Jamie hadn't smiled this much in a long time. Being with family is important. Hiding behind his schoolwork wasn't an option anymore.
The next day is busy. Jamie has a science presentation at school, and he's very nervous. He's so nervous he doesn't sleep well. Jamie liked the academics of school, but always struggled with the social aspect. Even before his leukemia, he was the new kid, then his class learned that he'd been homeless. Each year he was learning more about his siblings. Danny was always the football star, then he was the hero Marine. He was popular and everyone loved him. He was everything Jamie felt that he wasn't. Joe was popular too, but so many people had told him that he's a lot like Joe. Jamie has to hold back a laugh because so many people tell him how much he looks like Joe. No one really understands that he wasn't a born a Reagan and it's not worth taking the time to explain it to them.
It had been a long day for Jamie, and it was pulling him down. He'd had a bit of a headache, but that just happened sometimes. He was trying to focus on spending time with Joe.
"Are you ready kid?"
"Yes. I'm ready. Can we walk?" Jamie smiled hopefully.
"You look tired already. Why don't we drive. I got the Chevelle running again."
"When did that happen?" Jamie loved the Chevelle. He hoped to have a car that nice someday.
"I needed something to do while you were in the hospital, and since you've been home you've hidden in your books."
"Mom talked to me. I'm gonna try and not hide anymore. It's not easy, ya know."
"I can only imagine Jamie. What you went through was hard."
"The car looks great Joe! I love this car." Jamie walked around the car in the garage admiring every inch of it. He didn't want to talk about himself anymore.
"It does. Just wait until you're sixteen. I know you'll get a nice car too."
"Will I?" Jamie wondered. He still thought of himself as an outsider in the family a little.
"You will. Mom and Dad will want you to have a good car to go to college with. Let's go. We need to be home in time for dinner."
"Okay."
The cemetery's only a little over a mile away. It only takes them a few minutes to get there. Jamie hadn't been to see his mom in over six months since he got sick. He was wondering if he was going to die and be with his mom again. One thing he noticed in the hospital was that he was never really alone. Other kids were not that lucky. Their parents had to work, and they would have someone with them as much as possible, it just wasn't possible all the time. The hospital had volunteers come in and read and spend time with the sick kids, so they were never really alone because it the hospital could be scary.
Joe walked over to his grandma's grave while Jamie talked with his mom.
"Hey mom. I promise that I haven't forgotten about you. I got sick. I have leukemia. I thought I might get to see you again soon. I still could. My older brother Joe donated bone marrow, and I had to spend another month in the hospital, but I'm okay now. School's easy, but hard at the same time. The kids make fun of me for a lot of reasons, but it's okay. I haven't gotten to participate in gym yet. My doctors want me to wait. I miss running. When I run, I can hear you cheering for me." Jamie wiped away his tears. "I'm afraid that if I'm too much trouble the Reagan's are going to take me to a group home. I don't want to be sick anymore. I miss you mom. I miss you every day. I've got all A's in school, but I don't get to go and help people at the soup kitchen anymore. If I live long enough, I'm going to get into a good college and make you proud. I promise."
Jamie's tears kept falling and he moved from where he was standing to where he could trace his mom's name on her headstone. He didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay with his mom, where life was simpler, and he could just be himself.
Joe had finished his time with his grandma early on and was listening to Jamie. He wasn't surprised at what he was hearing, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't share what he'd heard with their parents. Despite how quiet Jamie was, everyone knew he was struggling with a lot of things right now. It's understandable but they worry that he isn't talking to them more. They can help.
Jamie noticed Joe and looked at his watch. He knew it was time to go home. He had medicine to take, and a little homework left to do for the next day, that thankfully was Friday.
"Are you ready Jamie?" Joe put his hands on Jamie's shoulders.
"Yeah. Sorry I took so long." Jamie wiped the last of his tears.
"You didn't take too long. Do you want to come back this weekend?"
"Yes." Jamie smiled and yawned at the same time.
"Are you okay?" Joe looked harder at Jamie. He noticed he looked a little pale.
"I have a little headache, but other than that I'm okay." Jamie smiled. He had a feeling it wouldn't be that easy.
"Let's get you home." Joe was already planning on taking his temperature and if it was too high, they were going to the hospital.
"Sounds good. I'm hungry."
Joe sighed in relief. If he was hungry, he might just have a headache. It had been weighing on Joe's mind that Jamie would have this weighing on his mind for a long time to come.
"Jamie, why don't you go and take something for your headache and lie down until dinner."
"I didn't think we had that long until dinner?" Joe wasn't making sense. They ate dinner at the same time each night, or as close to it as they could.
"No, you're right."
"I'll go upstairs after dinner so you can talk to mom and dad about your concerns."
Jamie walked away to get something for his headache and his other pills. He knew Joe had overheard him. It's not that he didn't appreciate the worry, but sometimes he just wanted to be himself. He couldn't stop the thoughts he had. No one else in the family had ever been through any of the things he had.
Dinner was quiet. He could tell that Joe had told their mom and dad that he had a headache, because everyone kept glancing over at him. It made him feel uncomfortable.
"My headache is gone." Jamie said to anyone that was wondering.
"Oh, Jamie that's great." Mary smiled.
"Nothing else is wrong?" Frank was still trying to figure out the best way to get his youngest to open up to him. He would open up to Mary and Joe, and most recently Henry. Just not him.
"No. It was nice to get out of the house other than school."
"Want to come up to the station this weekend?" Frank asked knowing Jamie loved spending time up there before he got sick.
"Can I mom?" Jamie loved being at the station.
"Yes, but don't get too excited, and if you start not feeling well then you need to tell your dad."
"Mom, I know." Jamie huffed. Did they want him to do things or just stay home. They needed to pick a direction.
"Ok. Do you have any homework?"
"Yeah, math and science. I have a debate to work on for debate club." Jamie hadn't told his family that he joined the debate club. He didn't think it was a big deal. They met at lunch, and it was fun. It was one place that he was making friends again.
"Okay. When you're done come down and lets play some cards." Joe was watching his parents carefully.
"Mom, Dad you can't seriously be mad at him."
"He's not supposed to be doing too much. I don't want him to get sick again."
"He's eleven mom. He needs to have a way to make friends. He has enough stuff on his mind to deal with already."
"What did he talk to his mom about?"
"He felt bad for not visiting. He told her that he's sick. He misses running. He said that when he runs, he can hear her cheering for him."
"He doesn't talk to me about her." Mary understood it had to be hard for Jamie. She was his mom, but so was his birth mom. It was easier with Frank because Jamie wanted to pretend his birth dad didn't exist.
"Mary, he doesn't talk to me either. What else Joe?" Frank reintegrated. They'd talked about this concern in the past.
"He really thought he was going to die and thinks he still might. He told his mom that he's got all A's and if he lives long enough, he promises to get into a good college. The other thing that really bothered me was that he's still worried that we're gonna dump him in a group home. He still thinks he's too much trouble."
"Anything else?" Frank hated that Jamie still had so many doubts.
"He misses his time in the soup kitchen. I think he likes helping people, but that was a last link with his mom."
"Okay. We'll talk to him." Mary hated that Jamie was feeling all of these things and still didn't think that he could talk to any of them.
Everything was calm as the week ended. October was here and the trees were changing colors. Mary and Frank decided to wait until after Jamie's next doctor's appointment to talk to him.
Jamie's appointment was the following week. He hated the appointments. He had to miss school and it was just unpleasant overall. He was tired by the time he got home. He was counting down until he didn't have to go to the appointments anymore.
Saturday morning, he woke up to find his mom was making his favorite breakfast. His doctor's appointment the day before had gone well. They hadn't detected any more cancer cells. The doctor approved more activity. Jamie couldn't be happier. He still understood that he had to take it easy, but he could act more his age.
"Good morning mom!"
"Good morning, Jamie. How did you sleep?"
"Good. Can I shoot some hoops after breakfast?"
"Yes. Your dad might want to play too."
"Ok. That's cool."
"Good morning! Did everyone sleep okay?"
"Yes, we did. Jamie's gonna shoot some hoops after breakfast. Do you have to go in today?"
"I'm off until Monday."
"Will you shoot some hoops with me, dad?" Jamie smiled. He usually played with Joe or Danny, but they were both busy.
"Yes. That sounds great."
Jamie smiled.
An hour later Jamie and Frank were out back playing basketball. Frank was watching Jamie carefully to make sure he didn't overdo it, but at the same time he was happy that he was still able to be out playing basketball with his youngest son.
Jamie was laughing at a shot that Frank had taken that had hit the rim and bounced back and hit the house and right into his arms. He took the opportunity shot for three points and got it.
"Nice shot Jamie!" Frank walked over and gave him a high-five. He'd coached both Joe and Danny in basketball, but Jamie hadn't shown a lot of interest.
"Thanks Dad! If I get a chance to play basketball in high school, will you help me like you did Joe and Danny?"
"Do you want to play in high school?"
"I do. I don't know if I'll make it, since I can't play now." Jamie looked down. This was one of his insecurities.
"Don't focus on what you can't do now. Focus on staying healthy, so it won't be too much longer until you can do the things that you want to do."
"I know and I am. I just feel like I'm missing so much, but at the same time I know I'm lucky to still be alive."
Frank knew Jamie was right, in thinking that way, but it was still hard to listen to a twelve-year old talk about his mortality in a way that most adults wouldn't or couldn't. He had been hoping and praying that Jamie was able to make it to high school without any other challenges.
"The weather's changing, but why don't we work together over the next couple of weeks. In addition to that why don't you talk to the middle school coach and see if you can be the team's assistant. Then you can be at their practices and get to know the other kids better, too."
"I'll do that. Do you think Mom will be okay with it?" Jamie was worried his mom would think he was spending too much time around other kids.
"I'll talk to her. Don't worry. We'll think of some other things to get you out of the house more. Until flu season is over it might not happen much."
"I know. I don't want to end up in the hospital again. I've had enough of that place." Jamie laughed.
Frank laughed. "Me too."
"Thank you for playing with me today." Jamie smiled. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed doing things like this.
"Your welcome Jamie. Are you getting hungry for lunch?"
"Yeah. Did mom cook or can we get pizza?"
"Go shower. I'll talk to your mom. I think we should have pizza." Frank wanted pizza. He knew Jamie usually wanted pizza when he was in a good mood.