Chapter 9
Back to being friends
Penelope decides to give Colin a second chance and as a result, they both rediscover one another, initially via friendship.
Notes:
As much as they need to get over their arguments when Colin discovered she is Lady Whistledown and the entrapment comment and then his angst etc., they need to find themselves comfortable back again with each other.
Understanding that she no longer wants him near, Colin still keeps his boundary with her and with that they will need to become friends over again and rekindle their years of friendship and find solace in each other before moving to the next step and thereon unleash their anger so they can resume to being lovers again.
If they unleash their anger while being at their awkward stranger selves, the distance between them may never fade because Pen is still upset at Colin and Colin still feels Pen does not want him near her.
Of course it is a Polin HEA,It's not far, we're almost there. ;)
Meanwhile enjoy the new chapter :D
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As Penelope enters her bedchamber, she gets angry and frustrated at herself for accepting his rendezvous. 'How on earth could she have approved this?' she wonders. Even if she was missing him, she had run away from him to come to this place and now she was extending an invitation to him to reclaim his place in her life.
'Was that right?' Penelope wondered apprehensively.
She is anxious at Colin for having granted his request. One chance, though, might not be all that horrible. It would benefit her if he passed the trial since it would indicate that he had truly changed and perhaps she could win him back as her husband and her best friend again?
Nevertheless, she would be in peril if he hadn't changed. She might have to relocate or perhaps just tell him to go away and leave her alone.
Penelope is afraid he may turn out like last time; gentle and kind in the beginning but vexed and fuming afterwards. She prayed that it wouldn't turn out that way. Her resettlement attempts thus far cannot be in vain.
She had wished to discuss this with Mary, but her friend had been very busy at work and John was also sick hence she had been unable to meet her. Perhaps after meeting Colin this time she might then talk about it with Mary.
However, she does inform her maid of Colin's return and the fact that he was unaware of her being with child. The maid knew him since she was with them in their marital home.
Pen misses Rae, with whom she felt more comfortable and was like her friend. She had left Rae for Colin and here he was, along with her. Colin had just taken off, leaving everything behind in her quest. She was conscious that he would perhaps find her but not twice and not so soon. Could that be a sign?
Penelope no longer believed in destiny as she had already suffered so much. Suffering in her own family to then suffer in her marriage with her husband and now she was enduring all this as a mother. So many dilemmas in her life but she had no regrets of any, she was appreciative to have experienced love, to have obtained the same in return even if only momentarily and now she was eagerly waiting to be a mother.
The idea of a new life that she would get to nurture inside of her made her grin. At the notion, she gave herself a soft stroke on her belly.
That's when Penelope pondered on the father. The father was an issue; they had made plans to meet the following day but she wasn't absolutely positive if she should go or not.
Pen then makes the decision to give him a chance, and if after that he still hasn't changed, she'll tell him that she no longer wishes to stay married to him and request him to go back, because she will never be his.
She was still wearing her wedding band and wonders if Colin saw that. It was imperative that she continued to wear it because in a few weeks she would be showing that she was with child and perhaps at that point she could inform the society that she was separated or widowed or that her husband was on travel.
As of right now, not many questions were asked and for those who did try to, she skirted the subject, thankfully nobody pried too much.
The weather was pleasant the next morning. As he woke up, smiling and rubbing his eyes, Colin was thrilled that the weather would be perfect for a walk on the beach.
Colin felt like he slept for weeks and he had a sense of optimism that filled him with happiness and excitement, like he was fulfilled. Given the early hour, he lingered on the bed for a little while longer, daydreaming about Pen and their future meeting.
It was the third time she had summoned the maid and Pen knew that even this time she would throw up. She woke up long before her scheduled hour since her stomach had been quite upset and it remained so ever since she woke.
Her morning sickness had come very early and was severe. Then something stressed her; about her appointment with Colin. Not whether or not she will meet him, but rather whether or not she can go in case Colin discovers she is sick and uncovers the cause.
Pen wonders if by lunchtime she would recover to go meet her husband. They were going to meet again as if they were in the early stages of their relationship.
She ponders on the outcome of this.
Will she have to run away once more or will destiny give her a chance with the man she loved this time? Well, she wasn't expecting anything at all. All she wanted was to meet him and get this over with.
Penelope will honour her promise. Colin had asked and even confirmed with her, she would try to go. She did not want him to think she could not keep her word. Pen prayed she would be better by the afternoon.
She stepped out onto her balcony to get some fresh air while contemplating the additional months of morning sickness she would have to put up with. If only there was someone to just hold her hand and reassure her that all would be well. Someone of her own. She sighed, impatient for her queasiness to subside.
Penelope slowly descended her carriage a few steps away from where she had suggested for her and Colin to meet. Even before lunchtime, she had felt significantly better, so she made the decision to fulfil her word and go see Colin. Perhaps a stroll on the beach would also make her feel better, with some fresh air and a chance of scenery.
Thinking that could be how long they would spend, she had rented the carriage for roughly two hours. Renting carriages was the norm for anyone outside the upper class, who were not allowed to possess their own.
This time, instead of wearing her coat, she wore a light blue, simple dress that her modiste had recently sewn for her. Since her size would soon change, she had not ordered many robes; instead, she had opted to wear her coat or stick to her previous outfits. As soon as she stepped off her carriage, she noticed Colin from afar, he was already there, waiting.
The weather was nice. She felt a breeze brush one of her strands onto her forehead as she swiped it away with her fingers, while approaching Colin.
Colin was already there more than half an hour earlier, a few minutes past midday. He had been unable to wait any longer. The excitement and anticipation made him arrive earlier than planned and was afraid he might be late. He installed himself on or more likely reserved a bench in the sitting area.
He kept looking back to check whether Pen had arrived, occasionally getting up in case he might miss her while remaining seated, and when he checked for the twentieth time or so, she was finally in view.
The sight of Pen approaching him makes his eyes sparkle. Colin scanned her and noticed how radiant she was in that light blue dress. He remarked that she looked so beautiful this time, given that her coat was off. As her hair was flowing in the sea breeze, she swiped away one of her hair strands and lifted her eyes to look at him.
As soon as their eyes met, Colin's heart skipped a beat. How could he have failed to see and overlooked someone as breathtaking as her all these years? How could he have ignored that goddess that was in his life. How fortunate he had been to marry someone of her calibre, yet he abandoned her and let his resentment overcome him.
While approaching Colin, Pen observes how handsome he appeared. He had groomed himself in comparison to the day before. His wavy brown hair was gleaming in the afternoon sunshine and his blue eyes appeared even more so. His long dark blue coat that she adored to see him in made him look appealing.
Pen realises that it had been so long since they went strolling in the sun. The last time was when he was giving her they were betrothed and even before they were married, he had discovered about her being LW and since then their relationship had become quite strained. They ceased spending any time together.
She's curious how long he had been waiting for her.
Seeing Pen arrive to visit him makes Colin very happy.
For a while, upon the fifteenth time turning back to check whether she was there, he had got a bad feeling that she might not turn up. He'd talked himself into believing he'd double checked with her and she would not break that promise. Even still, every now and then a panic would creep into his mind thinking that she had already packed her stuff, left town, and was travelling to get far away from him, while in the meantime he was excitedly preparing to meet her.
Her arrival was punctual. He advances half way to meet her and smiles brightly as soon as they reach each other. Colin really wanted to lean in and plant a soft kiss on her lips, but their relationship had reached a point where they could not even hold hands. This was the separation he had formed between him and his wife when he decided to abandon her. He had to deal with it now.
"Good day." He greeted her calmly.
"Good day." she replied, with a tone identical to his.
Penelope was delighted to see Colin, despite her reluctance to come. A deep-seated need within her desired to meet him and there she was, standing once again before the man she had fled, the man she had wed.
Here they were, back to being strangers, back again to the first step of a relationship when they ought to have been on their honeymoon not leaving each others' lips, not leaving each others' arms. They should have been exchanging kisses each time they were meeting again after being apart for barely ten minutes; like a newlywed couple madly in love.
Yet here they were.
Greeting each other 'good days' as though they had just started a courtship. Even then, it was adorable, even if disheartening to go back to that initial step.
"How are you doing?" Colin struck up the conversation before it became awkward.
"I am doing well, Colin" she lies, remembering her sickness in the morning. "What about you?"
"I am fine." He smiled. "Umm…thank you for coming, Pen."
Pen smiled at him and gestured a nod in response, her gaze was solemn while Colin's was jovial.
They then advance to take a seat on the bench.
The beach was calm, and the ocean was horrible either. The gentle sound of waves crashing was audible and there were a few people strolling, enjoying the nice weather and the fresh air.
Colin then Colin takes something carefully out of his pocket as they sit, not wasting time.
Pen observes him doing so. He gazes at Pen, reading her eyes, guessing her reaction. She seems neutral.
"I have something for you, Pen." Colin flashes a smile at the little pouch in his hand.
He opens it and takes out a piece of jewellery. It was a bracelet. Shortly after breakfast, he had visited the jeweller to buy something for Pen. He could not go to meet his wife empty-handed, of course.
Pen is at a loss for words; she does not want him to give her anything nor does she feel like she can refuse. Even though they were still married, Colin made a concerted effort to maintain his boundaries.
"Colin." She looked at him intently. "You did not have to…" She hesitated.
"I wanted to Pen. Can I?" he gestured for her hand earnestly.
She looked at him before extending her left hand. Her wedding band was still on her finger. Upon noticing that, Colin smiled mildly, but, deep down, he was grinning broadly knowing that she was still wearing his ring. With care, he places the bracelet on her wrist.
It was made of tiny sea shells. Colin desired to give her a souvenir of their beach rendezvous.
In addition, the bracelet included small flowers with a bright green hue that reflected light and gave it a shimmer. Pen smiled at the bracelet's aesthetic. She observes Colin as he intently fastens the bracelet on. He looked so handsome. He was so close to her and for a moment, a spark ignited into her; the spark she had felt for him everytime she would admire him at society gatherings and balls.
They both felt a prickling sensation as his fingers touched her skin.
Colin secured the bracelet on her hand and lifted his eyes to her, catching her staring at him. He gazed at her observantly as he noticed how her eyes were so beautiful, gleaming in the afternoon sunlight. His eyes then lowered to her lips and observed how her lips were rosy and plump, so ready for them to join his. Despite his strong desire to kiss her, he refrains from doing so, avoiding making her feel uncomfortable.
Their hands were still connected after he had placed the jewellery on hers. As Pen remarks Colin was staring at her lips, she swiftly withdraws her hand from Colin's and looks away.
Colin perceives her movement and licks his lips at his thoughts and shifts his gaze before being consumed by lust.
They both shifted their gaze to the sea and Penelope glanced at the bracelet and smirked airily not making it noticeable to Colin.
"Thank you." she said softly, looking at him.
"I hope you like it." He offered her a smile.
"It's beautiful." Pen said, looking at him intently, trying to hide her smile.
Glad she liked it, he smiles broadly.
They stared at the beach for a while, contemplating the view and just enjoying each other's company in silence.
"Have you had lunch?" Colin began, observing her and taking in her beauty.
"Yes, I did. I had something light, a vegetable soup." Pen realises then what she had mentioned.
"Why something light? Are you not well, Pen?" Colin asked inquisitively, his brows knitted at her.
"Ummm…no, I am well, Colin." She avoided his gaze. "I just did not want to eat something heavy."
Colin nodded.
"How have things been so far? I hope you have someone with you to manage?" Colin had been worried she had no maid to assist her and failed to notice she had brought someone with her.
"Yes. I have a maid I brought from our…from home." Pen was still unsure she could call it 'our home' considering that she stayed there alone most of the time. Colin notices her change of words but makes no remark about it.
"That is good." sending her a smile.
He really wanted to apologise but feared that she might feel upset or angry and leave. He wished to make the most of their time together.
"Do you have more news about our family?" Pen was curious.
"Umm…no. I shall write to them and let you know." He smiles softly. "Ummmm...do you…" He licks his lips and continues while studying her eyes "Do you wish me to inform them that I have found you?" Colin wanted to ask her without proceeding by himself.
"No!" "I do not wish for them to know, not for now. Please!" her tone sounded serious. Until she was certain that she still wanted to be with Colin, she hesitated to let everyone discover her whereabouts.
Colin nodded although he wished to inform his family that he had located her; they had been so worried. He chose to respect her choice until she was ready to tell them.
As long as he was with her, nothing else seemed to matter now. He felt like his world was complete again, well half of it, because he still needed to work towards earning her forgiveness.
"Are you looking forward to travelling again?" Pen asks.
Colin smiles faintly. He thought Pen was fed up with him already and was eager to see him leave but he didn't bring it up though since he did not want any argument as of now. He tells her the truth of the reason to not travel again.
"There's no reason to travel now. I found you." He observes her tenderly, as he anticipates her reaction.
That was not what she had expected. She feels touched by his words. Pen smiles at him, her eyes lighting up at what he said, she was unable to contain her smile, something had stirred in her heart.
It then dawned on her that he would stay there and not leave her.
How would she manage to hide from him about her being with child? Things are getting so complicated and wonders if she'll be able to keep it a secret longer. Momentarily, her mind wandered.
"I am sorry Pen." She turns to face him while he's staring at the ocean. Colin thought it was about time to start apologising for all the hurtful behaviour and harsh comments. Even if he did not wish to apologise for how he had responded to her being LW now, he could apologise for the situation before.
"I apologise for all the years that I failed to notice you Pen, for all the time I lost courting someone else when it should have been you all along." He turns to face her and gazes at her tenderly, swallowing as he continues. "I am sorry for taking so long until I was afraid I might lose you completely."
Pen gives him a sorrowful, gentle look, she does not want him to apologise for that, she's glad they eventually got together, even if late. "Colin, you do not have to apologise for that." She shakes her head as she speaks softly.
"Let me Pen." he turns himself to face her entirely. "I was truly a fool, I never realised the one who I needed was already there beside me. I wish I had comprehended that sooner and we could have been together much earlier." His expression appeared regretful.
Pen looked at him intently, without saying anything. He gave off the impression of being sincere in his statements. With trepidation, she flashes a blank smile, then gives a nod.
"It's alright, Colin. It truly is." She beams at him.
"I was an idiot for not seeing you, Pen. I…" His voice starts shaking.
"Colin, please. You don't need to apologise for it. I never resent you for that. It's not your fault." She broadened her smile to reassure him.
Colin assuredly smiled. "Do you want to walk a bit Pen?"
"Yes. We can." She nodded amiably.
Taking advantage of the fresh air, they strolled along the beach. Penelope had worn flat shoes because of the sand, she had anticipated walking with Colin.
"I have strolled the beach daily ever since my visit here. The beach is really beautiful and pleasant, particularly the sunset." Colin was glad this time he was not alone.
Penelope grinned in agreement. "The beach is indeed beautiful here. I do come for a visit some days but I have not watched the sunset yet.
"I could bring you one day, if you wish to." He feels compelled to ask, even though his eyes were hesitant. It would be such a special evening to be accompanied by his wife, together watching the sun set over the horizon instead of doing so alone.
"I…" Pen hesitated. Given that she was uncertain herself, it was not appropriate to raise Colin's hopes. "Perhaps later. I…I will let you know."
"Of course." Colin gave her a sweet smile in the absence of a refusal, at the very least. There was hope.
They kept on walking and contemplating the beach together, gazing ahead while sinking their feet in the sand.
Colin was eager to extend his previous apology and apologise for more.
"I…" Colin began. "I realise I have been selfish, Pen." "More than once."
He glanced at her as they walked. Pen met his eyes.
"When I realised my feelings for you, I was so selfish that I wanted you for myself not realising the consequences of ruining your courtship with Lord Debling. I have been inconsiderate and I am so sorry for it." Colin stopped and moved ahead of her. "I realise how I have overlooked you Pen and you had to almost marry someone else despite your feelings for me."
Reaching over, he grasped her hands in his. Pen is a bit astounded at Colin's behaviour and gestures. When he began speaking, his eyes began to well up with tears, and he stared tenderly into hers. She gazes back at him attentively.
"You have no idea how it pains me to think of the hurt I caused you when you left and upon the words in your letter."
"I know I have been anxious at you but I never felt trapped in our marriage Pen. I do not wish to, and never will wish to annul our marriage." Colin glances at the beach momentarily, reflecting for a split second before resuming.
"I acknowledge I have neglected and abandoned you alone in our house and even while I was present over there I ignored you, although you had opened your heart to me but…"
Upon hearing those words, Penelope recalled the pain she had endured when Colin left her alone and did not support her. She was determined not to want to go through that again and just the mere thought of it sent shivers down her spine.
Pen slowly removed her hand from his. It was too early for her to give in. She's curious what lies ahead of this 'but'. Could it be 'but I could not forgive you for being Lady Whistledown' or 'but I could not accept you as someone like Lady Whistledown?
One day he was confessing his love for her and the next he was claiming he would never forgive her. Then again swearing to 'hold her' during their wedding vows and the next day deserting her where she had to beg him to 'hold' her.
Colin realised how hurt she must have been by the way he noticed that she withdrew her hand in response to his words.
"Pen…" Colin gave her a teary-eyed look. Pen lowered her eyes after removing her hand, in case she might weaken and begin to cry at his gaze. It was imperative she kept her composure.
"Colin, please." She lifted her eyes to look at him. "Don't…don't say anything if you do not mean it."
"Pen…I…" He tried to weigh his words carefully before letting them out. "Pen, I mean everything I am saying, every single word. It pained me a lot for not seeing you for so many days and youcannotimagine how I have pondered over what transpired. Over how deeply I have hurt you and over how much suffering I've brought onto you."
"I wish to work upon what I have not been able to offer you of myself before." His words were slow yet meaningful.
Colin wanted to speak about the entrapment comment and apologise for it and mention the fact that he understood why she was Lady Whistledown, but the atmosphere was getting too tense and Penelope seemed uncomfortable. He did not want to push it hence considered not adding anything further.
"I just wanted to tell you that I am and will always be happy married to you and I do not wish…"
As Colin was speaking, all kinds of thoughts were running through Pen's mind and she felt stuck in a quandary. 'What would occur if Colin says he does not forgive her for being LW?' or 'What if he forgives her?' His words ring in her ears as she studies his gaze, immersed in her own thoughts the entire time. 'What if he says he forgives me, can I tell him of me being with child?'
Then with his last sentence, Pen feels a sudden surge of heat run through her body as he concludes by stating that he will always be happy in their marriage. 'Does that mean he will never leave and I will have to tell him I am with child?' 'But what if he does not forgive me, how can I tell him I am with child?' 'I must first know if he accepts that I am LW'.
Pen, however, was reluctant to raise this topic with Colin. They had just begun talking again as friends and he was acting kindly and appeared to have changed. She can still feel the heat rising in her body as her thoughts are fighting.
Suddenly she feels dizzy.
With all the topics Colin was sharing with her, it was too much to digest. That was excessive considering her condition and current experiences. She feels dizzy and before Colin can continue his sentence, she lowers her eyes and, she places her fingertips on her head as if attempting to gather herself.
"Colin, I…I don't feel well." She says, pressing her palm on her temple.
"Pen!" "What's wrong?" Colin exclaimed.
"I need to sit down." Pen quickly replied. If she did not sit down, she would definitely collapse and if Colin brought a physician to consult her, he would discover she is with child. This could not happen.
"Yes. of course." Colin grabs her left arm and her right shoulder as he stands behind her and hurriedly brings her to a bench beneath a nearby tree. "What's wrong Pen?" "Should I fetch the carriage?" Colin was so worried. He was panicking and had no idea what to do.
He kneeled in front of her, grabbing her hand gently and looking at her attentively, one hand on her wrist and the other on her shoulder, making sure she would not get dizzy and fall.
"No." "It's nothing. I was just a bit tired. I did not sleep well and…" She took care not to let him learn that she was sick. "I believe that I am simply tired. I'll feel better after taking a seat for a little while." She knew whenever she was that dizzy, either she would throw up or she just had to take some time to rest and unwind before feeling better.
"Pen. Are you sure you are well? I will quickly go and inform the carriage to take you and we can go to your home then I will call the physician." He was scrutinising her with an intense gaze as she was breathing and taking in air calmly.
Pen shook her head. "No, it is totally fine. I will feel better once I sit and have some fresh air." As much as she was appreciating how much he seems to be caring for her right now, does not wish for any complications. She really wanted to trust him but him being in her house, then discovering her secret? No.
It was too much already at present.
"I cannot just sit by and watch you this sick, Pen. Please let me do something." Colin was not convinced she was well even if she started looking better by breathing in the sea fresh air.
"I am well Colin. I am feeling better already." She smiled at him. All she needed to do was take a seat and decompress for a little. Pen cherished Colin's concern for her.
"Are you sure Pen?" His worried, concerned eyes spoke volumes.
Pen was feeling much better now. She grinned at him and nodded. Her reaction made Colin feel partly, though not entirely, convinced. He made an effort to believe her.
He took a seat and settled to her left and let out a deep sigh. "You got me very worried for a while, Pen." His frown was still full of worry.
Pen turned to look back at him beside her, his face flushed with concern and perspiring from her condition. She was treasuring his presence here with her. She grinned, finding it endearing and heroic that he was concerned about her.
She mused over the concept, wondering whether they could be together like this. 'No.' 'It was still too early. It was too soon to put her trust in him in case he would become fickle again.'
Penelope turned to face the shore, appreciating the wonderful weather.
"Do you remember how as kids we enjoyed staying outdoors?" Colin said after finally being calm, staring out to sea as well. "Your mother would always be furious with you for playing outside and ruining your clothes." He turned to face her.
"Yes, I remember." Pen smiled remembering those earlier times together as children. "I bet if she would see me right now with my dress soaked in sand, she would probably be just as angry," she replied, peeping down at the sand-filled hem of her blue dress above her feet. She giggles at that notion and Colin stares at her expression and giggled back.
He loved seeing her smile and laugh.
"You are still the same." He smiled at her. Her gaze locked with his.
She giggled and looked away saying. "I bet some things do not change indeed. You are still a heavy eater as you were, Colin. Even after travelling so much, all you like about the place is its food." She then laughs and gazes at him.
Colin laughed back at her remark. He likes how she's teasing him and the fact that she still recalls his words from the day before.
Seeing her so happy, he remembered how much he loved her. Her laughter and smile warmed his heart; she was his comfort. He desired to tell her how much he loved her for who she is but refrains from doing so, in case she takes him as clingy.
Colin wants to let Pen feel comfortable with him first.
This time, instead of only thinking about himself, he is thinking about her. He does not wish for her to feel uncomfortable and leave because after a lot of struggle she has managed to settle here. Perhaps on their next encounter he will tell her, she will be more at ease by then.
'Hopefully' he thinks.
"I am sorry again for what you had to endure, Pen. I realised that when I received your letter. I wish things had occurred differently." He gives her a sorrowful smile, his pain and honesty reflecting in his eyes.
Pen listens to him intently but does not say anything and then after pondering for a while she eventually responds.
"What are you expecting of me, Colin?" Her voice was soft and calm, not accusatory or defensive as she placed her profound gaze on him. She was only curious as to Colin's real intentions because it appeared like he was all set to win her back.
"What do you mean…Pen?" He stared at her intently. Unsure what she meant by her question. It could mean anything. 'What was he expecting from their relationship? Or marriage?' 'Or her returning home with him?' 'Or how would he allow her to reside there?'
"I mean, you are here…you are here with me and we are not in Mayfair and…I have settled here. What are you expecting of me, with you? In whatever there is between us?" She examined his face attentively.
"I am not expecting anything from you Pen. I just want to spend time with you, no matter where we are. I just want to make up for all the time I have been foolish enough to miss spending with you. For all the years I have wasted, for all the moments we have lost, before we got married and afterwards." He lowered his eyes to gather his thoughts, trying to evade the desire of kissing her or the intimacy he missed with her.
"I just want to spend that time with you, that is all." He looked at her intently, studying her eyes as his eyebrows drawn up in the inner corners. "Are you not liking the time we are spending together, Pen?" his tone low and painful while gazing at her studiously, his mind already gearing up for the pain his heart will endure if she says no.
"I am. I am actually enjoying the time that we are spending together." Gazing at her husband tenderly she let out a soft grin. Though Pen wants to give him more time, she recognizes that he has truly changed.
Colin's heart tingled at her response and her grin. He smiled then grinned from ear to ear, exposing his dimples. He stared in her eyes affectionately and closely.
"I want to win back your love and trust, Pen, and I will strive to do my best. I promise." He placed his left hand on her palm and held it. Pen gives him another smile, locking his gaze.
Upon that Colin seizes the opportunity to ask her out again.
"Can we meet tomorrow again, Pen?" studying her eyes.
Pen is reluctant as she has not been feeling well lately and does not want something to happen that may reveal about her being with child.
"The day after tomorrow? Perhaps I will attempt to rest a bit tomorrow." Pen thought she might be feeling better by then.
Colin agrees even if he knows he won't be able to bear the following day without her. "Where do you want to go?" He enquired.
Pen appreciated how he gave her the right to choose but wanted to ask Colin if he already had plans in mind, she did not give it much thought. "I'm not sure. Did you have an idea already?"
"We could go to watch a play. There's a play at night. I will come fetch you?" When he went to buy her gift in the morning he noticed there was a play showing currently and was hoping he could go with Penelope. He observed her keenly as she responded. "Yes. That's fine for me." Colin beamed at her.
Unexpectedly, Pen feels as though she's about to get dizzy again. It normally did not happen and she wonders why she felt that. It could be because her months are coming near to birth? She wondered why and had little idea on that. Before things worsened, she needed to head back home or Colin would have to take care of her.
"Can we go? I don't feel quite good and would like to rest a bit at home." She did not know what justification to give and didn't want Colin to assume she was not interested in spending time with him. She thought it better to be honest, this would not reveal her being with child.
"What happened, Pen? You just assured me you were in good health" His eyes grew concerned once more.
"I am. I just need to spend some time relaxing at home since I feel a little worn out." smiling at Colin to reassure him. Though not very sick, she was cognizant that she needed to lie down.
Colin nodded. "I will take you to your carriage and accompany you home then."
"There is no need, Colin. I can go on my own." Pen did not want to bother him or allow him into her home just yet.
"No, Pen. I firmly insist. I will accompany you, only then will I return. I will stay with you if it is necessary." He was intent on accompanying her and was not ready to hear otherwise.
Pen realised his previous statement. He can learn the telltale indicators of a woman with child if he returns with her to her home and she throws up or anything relative happens.
"No, Colin. I am alright. You do not need to accompany me." nervously replying.
"Pen, I will not hear anything. I am accompanying you." He stood up and offered his hand.
Pen knew there was no use in arguing, he would accompany her no matter what. She looked up at him and slid her hand in his.
Colin held her hand as he guided her to her carriage, making sure she was well by offering occasional glances at her. Thankfully, she had not yet experienced dizziness and was walking properly.
They got in the carriage and drove back home in silence. Though not as lustful as the previous time, Colin and her were exchanging sidelong looks while in the carriage.
They arrive at her residence. Colin gets down from the carriage to assist her.
"Let me accompany you inside, Pen. I want to make sure you have been able to settle comfortably for a well deserved rest." Colin insists and doesn't let go of her hand he grabbed upon helping her down the carriage.
Penelope is unsure of what to say to him. She does not want him to come inside quite yet, some other day perhaps but not today.
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Notes:
Pen is still keeping her distance from Colin because he had thrown harsh comments at her and abandoned her after confessing his love for her, it will take some time for her to trust him again and we are not far from that day.
She is already opening up to him little by little.
