A/N: takes place in between s16 and s17 but before covid really hit in the show's timeline.

3. gold rush

everybody wonders what it would be like to / love you

"How long has she been on the list for?"

Pierce's voice caught Cormac off guard, snapping him out of his reverie. He looked up from the patient, "Almost two years, I think. She only recently got worse, which spiked her towards the top of the list. It was touch and go for a while; I thought the poor lass's parents were going to pass out when I told her we had a set of lungs for her."

"I can only imagine. I don't know how you do it, finding a way to calm down frightened parents like that all the time. I mean, I have to do it every once in a while, but every day? Amelia and I could barely keep Mer from spiraling when Zola had to have a shunt revision last year."

"Zola, that's Grey's oldest, right?"

"Yep," Pierce said with a nod. "She and Derek adopted her from Africa when she was a few months old. I wasn't here yet, but the stories I've heard about Zola's adoption are some interesting ones."

Cormac chuckled, "Does Grey have a story that doesn't fall under that category?"

"No, I really don't think she does," she shook her head in amusement.

He let a moment of silence lapse over the O.R. before he spoke again, "How's Grey doing, by the way? Haven't seen much of her these past few weeks."

Pierce's eyes met his, hers narrowing a bit before crinkling as she smiled under her mask, "Good, I'd say. She's been busy between work, kids, checking in on Richard, and helping DeLuca."

"Ay," Cormac nodded with a raise of his brows. "Trust me, I understand. How're the two of them doing?"

"Richard and DeLuca? Both are doing better. Richard, I know for sure, he's recovering nicely from both the surgery and the poisoning. DeLuca, I've heard, is getting the right help, which is good, but beyond that, I'm not sure."

"Well, I hope they both have a speedy recovery."

"Me too."

The news about DeLuca's diagnosis had spread through the hospital gossip chain almost as fast as his outbursts had. Cormac wouldn't deny the young man had put him off after he witnessed a few squabbles between him and Grey, but the new context drew his opinion back to neutral territory. Mental illness was a bitch-and-a-half to deal with, so he was pleased to hear DeLuca was getting treatment.

And Grey, well, she was as loyal as they come, so Cormac wasn't surprised she was helping him out. He glanced up at Pierce as a thought crossed his mind before shaking it off and focusing on the surgery once more.

She had hardly caught his inquisitive gaze and let out a breathy laugh, "What?"

"Nothing, just curious, but it's none of my business."

"Try me."

"You and Grey," he said. "You're sisters, right? Or you, Grey, and Shepherd, actually?"

"Ah, yeah, that's uh-Mer's technically my half-sister. We share the same mother, and Ellis gave me up for adoption when I was born. We met when I looked up my birth mom, and it led me here to Seattle, where I found her and Richard."

"Webber?"

"Yeah, he's my biological father."

Cormac's eyes widened for a moment, "That explains quite a lot. Is everyone in this place related?"

Pierce laughed, "It seems that way sometimes, doesn't it? And Amelia is the youngest of the Shepherd siblings; Derek was her older brother. She and Mer were at each other's throats after he died, but they worked things out."

"That's good. How's the baby?"

"Oh my gosh, Scout is precious!" She probably spent the next ten minutes going on about her new nephew. "I have four nieces and nephews now-definitely not how I thought my life would turn out when I first got here."

"No?"

"God no," Pierce said with a mirthful scoff. "Let's just say that Mer has a bit of track record of not hitting it off with sisters right away that dates back to before me."

"There's another one of you lot?"

The O.R. got quiet for a moment, "Uh, not mine, just Mer's. You two know each other well enough at this point that if you ask, she'll probably tell you."

"Ask about what exactly?"

"About why it's her last name all over the hospital."

The dining room in the Hayes' apartment was mostly silent, save for silverware clinking against plates. Cormac found himself able to not only get home before dinner but with time left over to cook. Spaghetti and a side salad may not be five-stars, but it was a nice change of pace from pizza.

They had already run through the usual small talk of school, homework, grades, friends, and Cormac giving them the light version of his coolest case at the moment. He could feel Austin watching him from his right, mulling over a question in his head. His youngest kept looking to him, then to Liam, and then back to his food.

"Hey, Dad?"

Finally.

Cormac looked over at Austin, "Mm?"

"How come you've been home early so much these past few weeks?"

Not what he was expecting. "Why? You boys upset that you don't have more time by yourselves to get into trouble?"

The brothers shared a look, "No, just wondering."

"The timing of surgeries and paperwork has worked out, I guess," he said with a shrug.

"Really?" Liam piped up from across the table. "Or is it because you and Dr. Grey ran out of whiskey?"

"I-" Cormac scoffed out of surprise, partially trying to hold back a smile at the insinuations of his son's question. "I thought I told you lads to say out of my phone. I've had to change my passcode three times this year alone."

Austin raised his eyebrows and said to Liam, "He's avoiding the question."

"Yeah, I noticed that too. I've also noticed how he's mentioned Dr. Grey more than any other coworker since we moved here. Interesting."

Biting his cheek to keep from laughing, Cormac looked up at the ceiling for a moment, as if trying to communicate to Abigail: do you see what you left me here to deal with. He let out a long breath, shaking his head, "Don't you two have some video game you want to rot your brains playing?"

It didn't take long for them to clear the table.

The creak of the wooden floors alerted Cormac to his eldest son's presence before anything else. He looked up from his office desk, where he was flipping through a medical journal.

Liam stood at the edge of the doorway, dressed and ready for bed. It took a moment for him to talk, "I miss mom every day."

Cormac nodded, fully turning in his office chair to face his son, confusion resting on his brow, "Ay, so do I."

"I know, we both do. But, uh," Liam rubbed the back of his neck.

"But?"

"Sorry for going through your phone; we'll try not to do it again."

"Okay," Cormac said, still unsure of where this conversation was going. "Apology accepted."

The boards squeaked as he shifted his weight from foot to foot, "Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that. Um, and that Austin and I both agree that we want you to be happy, whatever that means. 'Kay, night."

Liam was off towards his room before Cormac could get a word in edgewise. Letting out an amused huff, he spun around back to his desk. For as much as those two tested his patience and nerves, they were good kids.

(And he did not mention Grey more than any other colleague.)

(Did he?)

Jo's eyes caught Cormac's, and he could see her shoulders bounce as she tried to suppress silent laughter. The patient on the table in front of them was a kid who Grey and Karev had treated the year before, back for a follow-up surgery. Grey had meant to be scrubbed in, but Jo showed up instead, saying that Zola was down with a stomach bug.

That had gotten Helm going on about how impressed she was that Grey managed to balance being "a Catherine Fox award winner and a contender for the world's best mom."

Which was twenty minutes ago.

And Helm was still going, "And then I started reading this article Dr. Grey published, it was amazing. Did you know-"

" Helm ," Jo said, her laughter finally bubbling over. "If Meredith ever decides to write a biography, you should really ask her if you can write it."

"Haha," a rosy tint appeared below her mask. "Sorry, I get carried away sometimes."

"Ah, don't feel too bad lass, I'm sure we've all had our surgical idols at one point in time."

Jo checked over the suture she let Helm do, "I thought you were well on your way to moving on from Meredith."

"Oh, I am," she said with a nod. "But, it is possible for me to not be in love with her while still greatly admiring her professionally."

Cormac grinned, "Bit of a workplace crush, huh?"

Helm scrunched her nose, "Just a tad."

"Trust me, Helm, we've all been there. Haven't we, Dr. Hayes?" Jo said, her eyes meeting his, glinting with mischief.

"Hmm, yes," he replied slowly, giving Jo a pointed look. "I suppose we all have."

"Right; you really get to know a person after spending so much time in an O.R. together, especially when you keep paging that one person even though there are plenty of other capable general surgeons available, myself included. Don't get me started on those late nights spent holed up in an office, laughing over whiskey together-definitely starts to blur the lines."

Helm leaned closer to Jo and whispered, "Isn't that what people keep seeing with him and Grey?"

"Ahem," Cormac abruptly and loudly cleared his throat. "Let's wrap this up, shall we. I think we're about ready to close."

It's three days later when Cormac is hiding his smile beneath another swig of whiskey, that he realizes he really needs to start avoiding doing surgeries with Jo. He ran into Meredith as they were both leaving their O.R.s after successful procedures. They got to chatting, and the next thing he knew, he was cracking open the bottle he had locked in a cabinet in his office once more.

He was leaning up against his desk, while Meredith had claimed the entire loveseat perched on the wall to his right. She had kicked her shoes off and was laying back using the armrest as a pillow, going on about how exhausted she's been. Cormac pushed off the desk and swiveled over his office chair, sitting so he was about a foot and a half from her head.

"Sounds like you've had a hell of a time lately."

She sighed, "Yeah, but things hopefully will start getting back to normal. Andrew should be coming back to work soon."

"Good to hear he's doing better. He's lucky to have you lookin' out for him, Grey."

Meredith craned her neck back to meet his eyes, "I didn't do much, to be honest. His sister, Carina, has been the one by his side more often than not. I've just been checking in, making sure he knows he still has at least one friend when he gets back here."

"Is that all the two of you are? Friends?" Cormac tried to keep his voice as objectively curious as possible.

Pursing her lips, she pulled herself into a sitting position, reaching down to grab her glass that she'd set on the floor. After nursing a sip, she spoke up, "On my end, at least. I mean, even before my trial, I was having doubts. When I told him I loved him, I meant it; I did. But, saying that brings into question the future and logistics and whether or not we want to build something together like that. And I'm not saying we couldn't, or that it couldn't work. I just don't know if I want to.

"When he broke up with me or told me to 'take some time' or whatever, I didn't really feel anything. It was just, oh well. I don't need all the theatrics, drama, and explosions all over again, but if I'm going to start to build a future with someone, I feel I should care more than oh well. I don't want to stay with it just because it's there and it's safe, and it's someone to make the night's less lonely."

He nodded, "I get what you mean. Abbi, we weren't big and dramatic. I don't remember fireworks on our first kiss or feeling like I would die if I didn't see her every day. But, as we fell in love, she also became my best friend. She was the first person I wanted to go to with my problems or to tell when anything good happened. And I think if you're looking to see if someone is a potential life partner, that's important."

"I mean, Cristina was here for most of my relationship with Derek, but yeah, she and he were the two people I'd go to first for almost anything. Andrew's not even in the top three-he never really was. I remember telling Alex that I didn't want to fall in love again, not until it felt like family."

She brought her glass back up to her lips and let it rest there for a while, not really taking a sip. Her gaze was locked straight ahead at the wall, seeming to become lost in thought. Cormac's drink rested on his knee, fingers loosely keeping it in place. He noticed as her empty hand came up to rest on her collarbone, palm pressed into the skin. She did that a lot, he realized; when she was thinking or worried or relieved, she would curl her forearms into her chest.

"I-" Meredith started, snapping him out of his daze. "I loved Andrew, and I still care about him and his wellbeing, but I think I know that I've never been in love with him."

"You think you know?" Cormac gently prompted.

She met his eyes and lowered her glass from her lips, "No, I know, I know. I never was in love with him or even falling in love with him. And I don't really want to."

"Does he know that?"

Meredith shook her head, "I wasn't going to drop that on him amid everything he's going through. That's just mean. Once he feels good enough to be back at work, though, I'm going to make sure we're on the same page."

Cormac raised his glass in response, "Sounds like a solid plan."

He took a long swig, letting the burn of the alcohol down his throat distract from the pleasant little twinge in his chest that showed up when she said she wasn't in love with DeLuca. He wished he could take a drink every time that twinge showed up, but then he'd be battered off his ass in the middle of work. Maybe the twinge wasn't even related to Grey; the rates of Covid-19 cases in the Seattle area had been steadily rising.

Finishing off his glass, he nudged her foot with his to get her attention, "Can I ask you about something I've been wonderin' about?"

"Of course."

"Why is it that you have your last name plastered all over the hospital?"

"Other than the fact that I own part of it?"

"Last time I checked, your name wasn't hyphenated."

Meredith smiled, but it quickly faded as she got a faraway look in her eye. She scrunched up her face for a brief second, "It's not a pleasant story."

"Well, I'm willing to listen if you're willing to talk."

"The Grey comes from my little sister, Lexie Grey, and the Sloan from Derek's best friend, Mark Sloan," she started, eyes closing for a second before meeting Cormac's once more. "They were both doctors here. It happened during my fifth year of residency…"

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