Author's note- Been a minute since I came out with anything so sorry about that, real life stuff and alot of thinking about how exactly to write this story going forward. Not to sound like a whiner or anything but I really was taken aback by how quickly this story blew up, I began this fully intending to meme about/ poke fun at tropes in the RWBY fandom/ and joke around but now it kinda feels like there's pressure to churn out actual quality. I hope I don't let anyone down when I say this will not be some thought provoking story like one of those stories that was made by that guy who writes all of the really good Jaune arc fics and what not (his name escapes be but the professor arc guy...you know). This is like a parody of sorts and going forward y'all are gonna start seeing some meta humor and potentially forced references...so yeah...brace yourself.
Things were looking up.
Or at least this is what Jaune thought to himself as he confidently strode down the halls of Beacon academy, a certain air of enthusiasm and confidence about him. Truth be told could one blame him? His mind had been a bit of a mess since the whole Yang incident, his thoughts always drifting into some form of self deprecation when he thought about how stupid the whole thing was, a similar thing happened whenever he thought about his troubled partner.
But not anymore, Wiess of all people had opened his eyes to the solution for all of his woes...actually do something about them. He shook his head as he smiled to himself. He had already felt like a weight was off of his shoulders when he finally apologized to Wiess for all his haphazard pleas for affection, the way he saw it he had already mended one relationship by being proactive, by moving forward instead of wallowing in self pity.
So with this in mind he set out to fix his other strained relationships in the most logical of ways, head on with no real thought. Which would explain why his happy stride had eventually lead him to the door of team RWBY's door. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, mentally psyching himself up, before he knocked.
A few seconds passed before the door slowly swung open...to reveal non other than Yang Xiao-Long. Jaune noted that something was off about her, the normally cheery and rambunctious girl who always had something to say seemed almost lifeless, merely opening the door with a slight groan with unfocused eyes...said eyes lacking any of her usual brightness.
Until they met his. Life seemed to flow back into the dragon as she smiled brightly, a hint of mischief flashing in her previously dulled eyes. "Well well well look who we have here, how's it hanging Vomit-boy?"
If Jaune noticed the sudden 180 in mood from the girl in front of him he certainly didn't acknowledge it, merely shaking his head. "Not much Yang, though I gotta admit I wish you'd stop calling me that."
Her smile grew as her eyes narrowed "That so? Well I can think of plenty of other names to call you~" She punctuated her tease with a slight lean forward, amplifying the view of her chest. Jaune to his credit quickly adverted his gaze, finding the ceiling of the hallway interesting, blushing as he usually did when she acted this way.
"R-right, but I'm sure we can figure out the whole name business later." Jaune rubbed the back of his neck as he tried desperately to hide the effect Yang's teasing really had on him, he had important matters to tend to.
A finger rubbing his chest in a circular motion forced his attention from the ceiling, he looked down to see Yang had moved closer. She bit her lip as her gaze dripped with desire. "We can go find a place to get started right away, I'd love to hear some of the things you call me." She leaned in to whisper "Assuming you can find the time to catch your breath."
Jaune took a breath, and then a few follow ups, before he brought his hands to Yang's shoulders to gently push her away. Thankfully she didn't push things further although for the briefest of moments he noticed that her eyes had shifted colors, something that was never really a good sign. "Awww you're no fun."
"S-sorry, it's just that...well I actually came here to do something."
He saw Yang's eyes widen a bit before they went to her usual half lidded state and she opened her mouth.
"I'll stop you there." Jaune quickly raised a hand in desperation, already knowing how she'd twist his words. Yang closed her mouth with a self content smirk. "I came here to talk."
Yang hummed a bit before she leaned against the door frame cockily. "Hmmmm that so? What did you need?"
Jaune wasn't sure how to put it gently so he just said it bluntly...the logical conclusion. "Well...is Ruby here?"
Yang made a hacking noise, as if the air had been knocked out of her, as she slipped from her casual lean nearly falling on her face. Before she could even begin to regain herself and question/interrogate Jaune on what exactly he wanted to do with Ruby, another female, she felt a weight slam into her side at incredibly high speed sealing her fate.
Jaune watched in concern as Yang toppled over before his gaze shifted back to the door frame, seeing Ruby standing there with a beaming smile, a cloud of rose petals behind her. "Hey Jaune, heard you asking for me...what's up?"
The fact that he was sure he wasn't overly loud when he asked for her crossed his mind...as did the fact that she showed up mere seconds after he mentioned her (bulldozing through her sister in the process) but he ignored those unimportant thoughts to get to the matter at at hand. "Uh...not much really, just wanted to talk for a bit if you're free." He glanced down to see a groaning Yang slowly regaining herself. "but if you're busy I can come back later."
Ruby tilted her head in confusion before she followed his gaze towards her sister, seeing that she was in the process of getting back to her feet. Something clicked in her head and she quickly reached out to grasp Jaune's wrist. "Nope! I'm free right now, oh and brace yourself!"
"Huh?" Was all that Jaune could get out before he suddenly felt his body surge forward with incredible force and speed, his surroundings becoming a blur as he felt the wind rush against his face. It had only lasted a moment and the next thing he knew he was standing on the roof of beacon Academy, his usual training spot. He doubled over and shuddered as he tried to regain himself.
"A bit of a warning would have been nice." He gasped out as he clutched his chest, trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart as his legs wobbled.
"Huh? I did warn you though." Ruby held up a finger matter of factly as she recalled "I said "brace yourself" and everything."
"Yeah right before you did it, that doesn't count!"
"Not my fault you didn't listen." She answered with a slight shrug.
"You are something else..." He groaned as he finally regained himself, the sky no longer spinning.
"Something amazing!" She beamed triumphantly before she laughed.
Jaune glared at her for a bit before he smiled and began to laugh along with her. "Something like that I guess."
Her laughing died down and she smiled warmly. "So, what did you have me drag you up here at mach speed for?"
"Well I...I wanted to ask you something actually." Jaune said with a small blush, making Ruby tilt her head cutely. "You see...there's a girl that I like and I was wondering if you could give me a few pointers on how to...well, tell her."
The friendly smile remained on Ruby's face but behind the bubbly mask a fountain of dread and depression swirled. Sure she knew she had no real chance with Jaune, being a full 2 years younger and lacking some of the...assets of the other girls (excluding Wiess) but did he had to come rub it in her face? "Oh...that seems pretty random."
"Well usually I would talk to Pyrrha about this type of thing but things are...different between us right now so I figured I'd come to my best bud and fellow leader." He asked with a dumb smile, further shoving Ruby into a pit of sadness. At the very least she took some comfort that someone else had to suffer through the torture of the man you're hopelessly in love with asking for advice on how to date another girl...she still wondered how exactly Pyrrha did it however.
"Right...so how can I help." She asked flatly, she may not be able to bounce up and down in enthusiasm but at the very least she could pretend to not be completely miserable.
"Well how do you think I should tell her? I really don't want a repeat of the Wiess ordeal..."
She thought back to all of the horrible confession attempts, secretly lamenting that they weren't directed towards her. While some may have found Jaune's attempt at romance...well cringey, Ruby had thought they were at the very least earnest. "Just come out and say it I guess, you don't have to go over the top or anything...just be yourself."
"You think that would really work?"
"Well maybe...but if the girl doesn't appreciate you for who you really are instead of some grand show then what's the point right?" She shut her eyes and forced herself to smile, the corners of her mouth twitching as she did so. "Any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you, if she can't see that then it's her lose."
Jaune nodded his head a bit mulling over her words before he spoke. "Will you go out with me...just like that?" He asked with a small smile.
Ruby felt something grab her heart and twist. "Yep that should do the trick."
Jaune blinked a few times. "Uhhh right...so will you go out with me?"
Ruby grit her teeth together in frustration. "Come on now Jaune you don't have to rehearse it do you?"
Jaune looked at her perplexed, how could someone be this dense. "Uhhh...Ruby..."
"What's up?"
"Am asking you if you would go out with me on a date."
Ruby stood there blinking owlishly. "Wha- huh...what?"
"I...I like you Ruby, would you please go out with me?"
Blood rushed to Ruby's face with incredible speed. "M-me? Not Yang, Pyrrha, Wiess, or anyone else? Just...me?"
"Well...yeah if that's alri-" Jaune was cut off as he felt something torpedo into his stomach, that something squealing in delight.
"YES!" Ruby had latched herself onto Jaune and buried her face into his chest shaking her head and very animated excitement and happiness "YES YES YES YES YES!"
Jaune forced himself to ignore the pain in his stomach as he returned the embrace. "Great! So...how about we meet up for lunch tomorrow...maybe a movie too."
Ruby shot him a somewhat confused look. "You say that like you just thought of it."
"I did, sorry about that...are you...uhhh mad?" In hindsight he really should have thought about the plans beforehand but he had become so accustomed to being shot down that he neglected to do so.
"Nope!" She cheered as she shoved her head back into his chest. "That's so like you...and I love it...I love you."
Jaune didn't consider himself an expert in relationships by any means but it was to soon to be throwing words like love around right? He by no means had anything against falling in love with Ruby of course but...all in due time right? "T-thanks Ruby."
She hummed delightfully in his chest "But still we should probably figure everything out now right?"
"Right so I was thinking may-"
"What do you think a good name for a boy would be?" Ruby cut him off with her own question.
...
"What?" He asked dumbly
"Hmmm...Joseph? Or we could just call him Jaune Jr. I guess."
"R-ruby...what are you talking about?" Jaune asked as he backed up a bit.
"Our plans duh, I mean I know it's down the line but no reason to not go ahead and figure it out right?" She counted her fingers as she listed out things "I mean we have so much to figure out like meeting each others families, kid names, marriage, where we would live together, yada yada."
"Haha right...well we can figure all that out over lunch tomorrow right? Give us plenty to talk about while we eat." He made his way towards the door with careful steps. "uhhh I'll come get you at around noon tomorrow...sound good?" He grasped the door handle and began to open it.
"Sure! I'll be waiting!"
"I'll make sure to be there on time!" He quickly opened the door and shut it behind him, sweat pouring down his face as he made his way back towards his dorm with vigor. A single thought crossing through his mind.
"What?"
Ending note- I'm debating if I should explain what exactly the big parody/ reference of each chapter is going forward so I'll test it out now. There's so many stories (heck even mine tbh) where the relationship just zooms forward (like Ruby's semblance...heh.) with no real chance to develop so I figured I'd try to write how someone might react towards someone who comes on that strongly. So yeah Ruby was the girl who was on Jaune's mind but...maybe she scared him off. Guess we'll just have to figure out (maybe) next time.