A/N as of February 2021: Heyo! So if you, my lovely reader, are not aware, I have been editing and expanding the previous chapters in this story. This chapter has a brand new story, as does the G8 chapter. Please enjoy, and let me know what you think! ;3

Chapter 18: All's Fair in Love and War

A Little Bit Groggy

Okay, things were totally unfair. So first off, the Straw Hats had lost the first round of the Davy Back Fight to the Foxy Pirates by Foxy cheating with his Slow-Slow Beam, losing Chopper in the process. Second, now that Chopper was a (miserable) Foxy Pirate, the Straw Hats were down a player for the Groggy Ring match. Third, Zoro and Sanji were the ones playing so that was going about as well as it could with those two, meaning that they were bickering and fighting the whole time. Fourth, the Foxy Pirates were cheating again, this time in the form of a biased referee. And fifth, shit was hitting the fan.

Zoro and Sanji were squared off with the "Groggy Monsters" Hamburg, Pickles, and Big Pan, one of which was a wotan – a Fishman-giant hybrid. But the pair's whole kerfuffle began when Zoro popped the ball-man hat onto Sanji's head and the cook refused to acknowledge that he was the ball-man. The ball-men were the players with the "silly, little hats" on their heads which were spherical in shape and had red and white stripes. The opposing team's ball-man was the wotan who towered over everyone. Getting him down into the goal was going to be a challenge. When the Groggy Monsters chose "ball" after winning the coin toss, Zoro huffed for the cook to get into the opposing team's mid-circle. The point of the game was to get the other team's ball-man into the goals on either end of the field and Sanji was getting pissy at being handed the role.

"Hey, ball-man! Get into position already!" Zoro huffed at his partner, hooking a thumb behind him in a get-going signal.

Sanji's eyes slid to the right to glare at the swordsman. "Now listen: I never agreed to be the ball in the first place," he snarled. "You'd better shut your mouth or you're going to get a boot in the teeth!" He paused for a moment and then pointed up at the ball hat. "How am I supposed to look good in this thing?"

"Are you going to cry over a hat?" The swordsman crossed his arms, irritated that he had to play with this idiot. If it were up to him, he'd rather play with Luffy or anyone else for that matter, but they couldn't substitute any players after the fact, according to the Davy Back Fight rules. This was all idiotic, but he would get his shits and giggles anyway he could and decided to continue his insulting. He turned to look at the idiot cook with a surprised look on his face. "Hey, that looks good on you!" he said in a mocking tone that really pissed Sanji off.

"Do you really think I'm going to fall for that, dumbass?!"

Their fight was interjected by shouts from the crowd and from their teammates, and Luffy's voice was the loudest for sure. "ZORO! SANJI! I'm counting on you!" The rubber man was standing with Usopp with Nami and Robin right on the sidelines. While Luffy looked excited, his sniper was openly crying, and his navigator had a worried look on her face.

"I'm sorry we lost the last round, guys!" Usopp wailed, "It's all up to you now! Please, get Chopper back! You gotta!" While the boys were shouting, the girls were marveling at Big Pan, having never seen a wotan before. But, before the conversation could really go anywhere, Foxy's stupid face interrupted to taunt the small pirate crew. However, his cocky attitude was soon derailed when Luffy uninterestedly called him Split-Head again and he collapsed on the ground depressed while the beautiful Porche tried to comfort him. When he finally returned to normal, Foxy was met with mean looks from the whole crew (minus Robin, who was decidedly neutral). Clearly, the Straw Hats were upset by his interference in the last round, so he "promised" not to interfere, believing that his powers wouldn't be needed due to the expertise of the Groggy Monsters.

Back on the field, Zoro and Sanji were playing games of their own. The pair were playing Rock-Paper-Scissors to decide who would be the ball-man since Sanji had put up such a stink.

"I saw that, cheater! You threw late on that last one!" Sanji argued, pointing an accusing finger at the swordsman.

"Shut up! You're just mad 'cuz you lost!" Zoro threw back, "Like you always do," he added snarkily.

"WHAT?!"

The arguing continued until Nami got fed up and used her secret powers to get Sanji to comply. I can't believe that that dumb hat is what those idiots are still arguing about! she thought, mentally facepalming. "Sanji! That hat looks great on you!" she called out and the results were astounding (but predictable).

"Alright! Let's rock! The ball-man's here to kick some ass!" the blond shouted. All fired up and ready to go, Sanji the cook was now the ball-man.

"I'll admit that it does suit you," Zoro continued to casually insult the chef. "You look like a real prince!" There came a pause but he wasn't done yet. "Of the Kingdom of Lame Asses." And that's when a real fight broke out as the two kicked and slashed at each other, hopping around with flying feet and flying swords.

This time it was Usopp who got fed up. "You're wasting time! Start the match!" Luffy was laughing at his friends, enjoying both the fight and the banter. But before the match could start, the referee had to take Zoro's swords away because there was a "no weapons allowed" rule for the Groggy Ring. Still confident in his abilities, even without his swords, Zoro punched his fists together, ready to pound some ass.

However, Sanji, of course, had to get his two cents in. "You sure you're going to be okay out there? A swordsman losing his swords…"

"What about it?" Zoro huffed, ready to pound the cook's ass if he got annoying.

"Doesn't that make him…a big wuss?" Sanji gave the green-haired man the smuggest look. And then another fight broke out between the pair, but just with feet and fists this time.

"THAT WASN'T EVEN A GOOD BURN! GET OVER IT!" Usopp shouted, losing his patience with his crewmates.

With the match finally underway, Sanji walked into the Groggy Monster's mid-circle, halfway into their territory. Zoro was standing near the mid-line of the field, calling out some lovely sentiments.

"Cook, hope you get trampled out there!"

"Up yours!" came the snarky reply.

Luffy turned to Usopp, confused about what Sanji meant. "Hey, what does 'up yours' mean?" he asked.

"It's short for 'up your ass' Luffy," the sniper explained matter-of-factly.

"But nothing goes up Zoro's ass. He told me so," the rubber man reasoned. "It always goes up mine-" Usopp slapped a hand over his friend's mouth.

"Shut up and get your mind out of the gutter! I don't want that image in my head!" Before Luffy could say anything else, the Groggy Ring Match began.

Pickles began the game with a heavy charge, bringing his left shoulder down to ram Sanji, but the cook jumped over him and went straight for Big Pan. The wotan's slippery skin proved to be too much because when he leaped over Big Pan's punch and shot up his arm at amazing speeds, he then got stuck near the wotan's shoulder, running but not going anywhere as the secretions from the Fishman-Giant thwarted him.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Zoro shouted. "Quit screwing around! You'd better get down here!" While he was yelling, Hamburg dashed past the swordsman, moving into an advantageous position.

"You'd better watch what you wish for!" the cook snarled back. He was too busy looking behind him to see Big Pan's slap coming his way but even if he had seen it, there wasn't anything he could do to avoid it, being stuck as he was. Sanji went flying across most of the field, headed right towards the goal. The Straw Hats on the sidelines were extremely worried at this point.

"Sanji!" Luffy yelled. "Zoro! Do something!"

Geez! I'm already on it, Luffy! The swordsman watched the pervert cook flip through the air as he ran side by side with Hamburg, determined to foul up the catch the Groggy Monsters were hoping to complete. "If that stupid head of yours makes it anywhere near the goal, I'm going to chop it off!" he yelled. Sanji, despite falling, already had a comeback.

"You talk big, but just wait 'til I get down there!"

"Now my Sweeping Tackle!" Having been too focused on Sanji, Zoro didn't see Pickles in time and got shoved out of the way by his metal shoulder plate. Zoro crashed to the ground and gasped, trying to regain the air that had been knocked out of his lungs. Hamburg leaped into the air and caught Sanji around the waist, changing the cook's trajectory and tossing him towards Pickles, who was now charging towards the goal. Zoro was up on his feet again, hot on Pickles' heels, but was attacked again with a Spinning Tackle when the hulking man turned on him. Zoro was thrown to the ground again, this time dizzier, and Sanji was falling towards the spinning Pickles.

"Oh no!" He was thrown into the air again and was spinning towards the goal. On the sidelines, Luffy was wordlessly screamed while Usopp bemoaned their fate as Big Pan ran across the field in a few steps. He caught and tossed Hamburg back into the air who then caught Sanji again, ready to throw the blond into the goal.

"Come on! You can't go down that easy!" Zoro shouted.

"DO SOMETHING!" Usopp and Luffy wailed. "ZORO! SANJI!"

"I know! I'm on it!" the swordsman huffed, getting to his feet and grabbing onto Pickles' leg. "I don't need you to remind me!" Determined not to lose, Zoro yanked on the leg in his grip and using his monster strength, spun them both around several dozen times before releasing his unfortunate victim in the direction of the goal. "It ain't over! I won't let you score!"

Determined not to let Zoro one-up him Sanji grabbed onto Hamburg's arms and got out of his iron grip. "Alright, you've had your fun! Time to put me down, fathead!" The blond freed himself and got ready to kick. "I can't let Zoro bail me out of this! I'd never head the end of it!" And with that, the cook sent Hamburg rocketing towards the ground. Just before Hamburg landed in the goal, Pickles came shooting across the goal ring and plowed right into him before they both crashed to the ground. Sanji landed next to Zoro, a little worse for wear from his ordeal.

Over on the sidelines, everyone was freaking out. The Foxy Pirates were shocked at the turn of events, shouting and booing even as they were in disbelief at Pickles getting tossed and Hamburg flying. Foxy's mouth was hanging open as his Groggy Monsters were incapacitated. Only Big Pan was still standing, two-thirds of his team having been knocked out. But the Straw Hats were having a blast! All four of the remaining crewmates were cheering on the contentious pair, even as they continued arguing after having thwarted their opponents.

"You're cramping my style! Go back to the sidelines, Moss-Head!" Sanji growled.

"Is it 'your style' to get pounded like a punching bag!?" Zoro snarled. "Stay out of the way and I'll win this!"

"I can't stay out of the way; I'm the ball-man! The only one that matters!"

"Listen, you good-for-nothing PLAYBOY COOK! You'd better get those FANCY EYEBROWS OUT OF MY WAY in a hurry!"

"No, you listen, you DUMB OAF! If you don't get YOUR MEAT-HEAD OFF THE FIELD RIGHT NOW I'm going to FRY IT UP!"

Speaking of heads, Luffy was laughing his off. "SHISHISHI! Those two are funny aren't they?" He was all smiles as he watched his boyfriend and his friend wreck the field. "Sanji's kick was awesome! And Zoro's really strong! Even I'm impressed that he threw that guy! He's so cool!"

"You idiots!" Usopp interjected as Luffy was prattling on about his awesome men, "Now's your chance! What are you doing?! Their ball-man is all alone! Gang up on him and knock him into the ring while the other guys are still out of the game!" As if on cue, Big Pan started advancing down the field until he was close enough to stomp down on the pair. Zoro and Sanji scrambled out of the way, both of them nearly getting squished. Both of them were visibly sweating as they faced off against the giant wotan. Then they were running and Big Pan was right on their heels, trying to stomp them both as they all careened across the field. Usopp couldn't believe that they were running away! Those two ran headlong into danger all the time! What was going on?!

"Don't run from the ball!" he shouted, still shocked that two of the Monster Trio wouldn't even try to fight back. "How are you supposed to score!?"

Zoro was the first to lash back at him, still running for his life. "I'm doing my best here but that guy's got KNIVES on his shoes! And if we don't run away he's going to make mulch out of us!" And that's when Usopp saw Big Pan's cleats, which were several feet long due to the wotan's size. He about fainted on the spot.

However, when Sanji shouted to the referee about how massive spike cleats were clearly weapons, the referee deliberately looked away and refused to notice the rule-breaking, which began several frustrating minutes of Sanji kicking a shoe at the referee and getting yellow carded while the rule-breaking continued. Big Pan then pulled out an ax (from where no one knew) and was swinging it as he continued to chase Zoro around the field. Then Luffy decided to get into the action, shouting that no one was going to mess with his boyfriend and that he would handle it, which caused Usopp to run interference and hold him back. The only reason Sanji stopped yelling at the referee was when Nami encouraged him to win the match, to which he happily agreed, and ran off to kick some ass (after getting his shoe, of course). After a few more minutes of getting chased (and Usopp yelling that they were being useless), the cook and swordsman decided to counterattack (while also continuing to argue about who was going to "get" the wotan). Nami pointed out that there was plenty of wotan for both of them, but they all knew that those two just loved one-upping each other. Right before the three competitors collided, Big Pan suddenly dived toward the ground, causing a shockwave that sent Zoro and Sanji into the air. The wotan followed his Loach Scoop Slide by catching Zoro on his slippery back, causing him to slide all over the place before contorting his body into a circle, while also catching Sanji and beginning his Loach Racing Circus. Sanji was at least on his feet for a while, but soon he was on his ass like Zoro and whirling around and around from Big Pan's arms to his back, up his legs, and back down his arms as the slipperiness increased their speed and dizziness.

While the ridiculous madness continued, the other Groggy Monsters recovered and yanked out iron knuckles and elbow guards, and spiked shoulder protectors to cause some serious damage to the swordsman and the cook (which clearly violated the 'no weapons' rule, but weren't recognized as weapons as the referee was taking a break to stretch his legs out). Luffy was ready to pound the referee, but Usopp stopped him before anything serious happened. The Foxy Pirates cheered as their crewmates got back into the game, and the Straw Hats watched in dismay. Ready for revenge, Big Pan released his feet and contorted his body into a coaster-like shape, and sent his captives rocketing down his arms and back up into the air. They looked like they were ready to hurl, and were definitely not ready for the pounding that Hamburg and Pickles were ready to dish out. Pickles launched his crewmate into the air. Using his iron knuckles, Hamburg hammered Zoro down into the ground.

"No! ZORO!" Luffy and Usopp were both wailing, but they couldn't stop what was coming next. Big Pan leaped up into the sky and slapped Hamburg with his massive hand. He shot his crewmate down to the ground to collide his iron elbow guards into Zoro's ribs. When the smoke cleared, the carnage shocked even the Foxy Pirates. Zoro was gasping in pain, his face bloodied, coughing up blood with the iron elbow guards in his gut forcing his body to convulse. Luffy's heart broke at the sight and even some of the Foxy Pirates felt bad for the swordsman. Luffy screamed Zoro's name, but the man collapsed onto the field, unmoving. In a flash, the Groggy Monsters set their sights on Sanji, the whole Straw Hat crew now being forced to divide their horror and attention between both men. Big Pan launched Pickles like a cannon, the man's solder spikes aimed right at the cook. Sanji wasn't even off his knees yet when the collision happened.

"SANJI! MOVE!" Luffy screamed, but it was too late. Sanji was thrown into the air, a trail of blood following behind him, and then Hamburg sent him flying even further with an iron-knuckled punch. Pickles took up the game and used his spikes and his speed to send the cook back up into the air, where Big Pan slapped him into the ground with enough force to cause another shockwave. Dust floated in the air from the massive impacts and when it started to clear, the whole crowd could see the two Straw Hat men trying to stand, but even as they managed to get to their feet, their broken bodies collapsed onto the field, the screams of their crew members ringing in their ears over the shouts of the rest of the crowd.

"Get up Zoro!" Luffy shouted, feeling the pain almost as if it was his own. It was unbearable to see him down on the ground. "Come on Sanji!" he yelled, encouraging his friend. "Zoro please!"

Zoro lay there in agony, his torso riddled with bruises; he would honestly be surprised if he didn't have several broken ribs by now. He listened to the sound of Luffy's voice calling his name (and the cook's but the swordsman chose to ignore that) over his labored breathing and knew that no matter how hurt he was, he couldn't disappoint his beloved. He couldn't let those bastards win; he couldn't let Luffy lose another crew member, another friend. So he chose to do the one thing that he never wanted to do.

"Hey," he gasped, struggling to speak with his bruised lungs. "Let's work together…for ten seconds."

The reply came a few moments later. "Okay, fine," Sanji started, feeling just as horrible as his crewmate. "But no longer."

And then they surprised all of the Foxy Pirates by getting to their feet, against all odds. Luffy's heart leaped, his expression of dismay and worry instantly changing to elation as he saw Zoro on his feet. The pair looked worse for wear, but at least they were standing! Usopp, Nami, and Robin were all smiles, and Chopper (in his captive seat and being smothered by Porche) was openly weeping with joy. But the celebration was cut short when Foxy ordered a "Monster Burger, please" and the whole Foxy crew gaped in shock before breaking out into even louder cheers.

"Now what could that be?" Robin asked no one in particular.

"Huh?" Luffy followed up. "Did someone say 'burgers' because I could go for one." He was totally distracted by the prospect of food. Usopp smacked the dork.

"Is that all you ever think about?!"

"No, I think about being Pirate King, food, and Zoro a lot, but not necessarily in that order," the rubber man answered honestly.

"You're an idiot," Usopp and Nami chorused. At least I'm in the top three, Zoro sighed mentally. Sanji didn't even make the list and that was the most important thing.

Everyone's attention was then diverted to the Groggy Monsters, who were yanking out even more weapons! Hamburg was pounding two iron clubs on the ground, chanting about grinding up some burger meat, and Pickles was now swinging two swords around while adding something about slicing up pickles, sour or sweet. Things got a little silly when the crew asked, "What are the toppings?!" but Nami had to hand it to them when they compared Zoro's green hair to lettuce and Sanji's blond hair to cheese on the fly, and Big Pan finished up by crashing two giant iron pans together and declaring that the "most horrifying hamburger" would be complete with a big pan bun. And despite all the illegal weapons, the cook and the swordsman didn't rely on the referee to red card the trio, because honestly, the whole game had been rigged from the start. They just needed to get down to business. Though, they did notice that Usopp and Nami had to hold Luffy back from tearing the referee a new asshole, which caused some chuckles. The rubber man looked so furious while viciously attempting to protect his friends that both the cook and the swordsman were glad that he was on their side. At least their captain would always be in their corner.

The MC Itomimizu got ready to commentate on the carnage as the Groggy Monsters charged, and Zoro and Sanji got ready to retaliate.

"Alright then, if you want a cooking battle, you've got one." Sanji tapped his foot on the ground, making sure his shoe was secure. "Though, I've got to warn you that I've never cooked scumbags before, so I can't say how it will turn out. But you're about to get served anyway!" His gaze was confident as he locked onto his next victim. The blond launched into several impressive back-handsprings that ended with him delivering a Troisième Hachis right into Hamburg's face with several rapid kicks. When the monster fell to the ground, Sanji brought his heel down on Hamburg's stomach to shock his body back into the air. Then he jumped onto his hands to continue with several spinning kicks to get the monster standing again before following with an overhead stamp with both feet. He landed on his hands as a stunned Hamburg tottered, compressed his body, and then sprung upwards into the monster's face again with a Bouquetière Shot. Hamburg shot into the air, passing a shocked Pickles and landing right in Big Pan's pans as the wotan crashed them together, effectively getting crushed. The flattened Hamburg floated to the ground, out of the game at last.

Enraged, Pickles began another spinning attack, headed straight towards Sanji, but Zoro slid in front of the cook, crouched down, and blocked with his hands, stopping the man's forward progress without interrupting his spin.

"Hold up, fatty," Zoro said softly, but menacingly. "Forget about me?"

"Out of my way, small fry!" Pickles snarled back. "I'll cut you!" One of his swords started descending toward the green-haired man, and the whole world seemed to slow down for just a few moments as Zoro concentrated. Since he didn't have his swords, he was going to have to make do.

"No-Sword Style…Tatsu Maki!" He went through the motions of drawing his swords and spinning with them as he would with a normal Tasu Maki, but despite not having any swords, he still created the forceful dragon-like tornado without his blades. The blunt force of the "slashes" sent Pickles flying skyward and right into Big Pan. Still spinning from both his initial attack and from Zoro's Tatsu Maki, Pickles' swords continuously slashed at the wotan's chest while he retreated backward. When Pickles' rotation finally slowed down, Big Pan's chest was a mess of cuts and blood.

But, the dynamic duo wasn't done yet. Sanji slid behind the toppling giant and leaped into the air, starting his Bad Manner Kick Course. The first kick was enough to snap the wotan's spine upwards as his body bent into an arch and the force began straightening the giant up once again. Pickles (who was still falling to the ground at this time) was horrified by the shockwave of power that radiated outward from the attack and by the shout of pain his crewmate gave out. Big Pan had been knocked down and knocked right back up again, and the pain in his spine made him immobile but upright. Sanji took a drag from his cigarette and watched with cruel pleasure as Zoro charged toward the opposing team's ball-man. Pickles, recovering from his shock, glared at the swordsman, determined to stop him, but Sanji whacked him out of the way with a well-deserved kick. And to the delight of the Straw Hat crew, Pickles completely plowed over the useless referee with great panache.

"I've had enough of your crap, and that goes for the ref too!" the cook hissed. When the referee dragged himself out from under the hulking monster, he was sure that Sanji had done that on purpose. But when he tried to give the cook a red card, he found that his cards had been replaced with a coupon card (from Sanji to Robin and Nami) for a free massage. He passed out before he could figure out where his whistle and cards had gone. Robin gave the crew's navigator a sly glance.

"You're such a naughty girl," she chuckled.

"What can I say?" Nami grinned mischievously sporting a new whistle and yanking both the red and yellow cards out from between her breasts. "Old habits die hard~!"

Itomimizu yanked the crowd's attention from the clobbered referee and Pickles with a remark about Zoro and Sanji turning on each other again, as Zoro charged straight towards the cook. The Straw Hats watched in dismay, crushed that their teamwork was going down the drain. All except Luffy, who had a straight face on as if he knew something that everyone else didn't. Which he did: Zoro and Sanji wouldn't let him down. The rest of the crew was pleasantly surprised when Zoro leaped into the air, landing and balancing on Sanji's offered leg as the cook rotated his body towards their target: Big Pan's stupid head.

"Armée de L'Air Power Shoot!" Sanji kicked the swordsman forward at high speed, surprising everyone in the crowd with their teamwork. Zoro made it to the wotan's head with no issue and grabbed onto his upper jaw and lip whilst flipping over himself. With the force of Sanji's kick and his own strength, Zoro wrenched the giant backward, yanking him off the ground before slamming his head down into the goal with a triumphant war cry. The goal sent shockwaves through the crowd both literally and figuratively as the giant collapsed on the field, his funny, little hat squarely in the goal.

"Way to go!" Nami yelled.

"We won! We won!" Luffy and Usopp celebrated by doing a funky little dance. Nami then tricked the now conscious referee into "making the red card call" and when he blew the whistle, the game officially ended with a Straw Hat victory. Zoro and Sanji both smiled as they calmly walked off the field. They did manage to get a few extra kicks and punches in on each other before reaching the sidelines, but seeing how happy their crewmates were made the begrudging teamwork worth it. It was especially worth it to Zoro when Luffy leaped into his arms and kissed him right in front of everyone. Whatever embarrassment he felt was swallowed up by the smug joy of seeing the ridiculously shocked faces of the Foxy Pirates staring back at him.

The Power of Friendship (and Afros)

I won't let you take…a single member of MY CREW! EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!

The (unfair) battle had been brutal, and Luffy had taken a lot of punishment, but damn if he didn't look good with that funky afro! Each time he was pummeled or tricked, no matter how many times he was knocked down, he got right back up. His devotion to his crew was plain for anyone to see, and even some of the Foxy pirates were giving him the respect he deserved, crying and cheering for Luffy as much as they were for their own boss. Foxy had asked him why he wouldn't just stay down; he was clearly killing himself by getting up after each attack just to get knocked back down again. The Straw Hat crew already knew that answer: even battered, bruised, and broken, Luffy would never give up on them and he would protect them with his very life if necessary. It was very painful to watch their captain take every Slow-Slow Beam and be forced into positions to take the brunt of each and every one of Foxy's attacks, but they did watch; he deserved that much and even more. The crowd around them had literally been on the edge of their seats, the tension in the air could've been cut with Zoro's swords during the whole fight, and each and every member of Luffy's crew had been hanging only to any shred of hope that their captain would pull through. Their concern and worry were rewarded when Luffy turned Foxy's power against him, using a bit of mirror that had fallen out of his afro from breaking a mirror inside the ship to direct his beam back at him. The rubber man had been sweating and panting with effort, his body having been beaten to the edge of unconsciousness, but he had still hung on for a little longer and delivered the powerful knock-out Gum-Gum Flail. While Foxy was still catching up, Luffy had walked across the deck, and climbed up on the figurehead of the Sexy Foxy. Zoro smiled smugly as he started the countdown.

"Eight seconds."

Sanji smiled and continued. "Seven."

"Six," Robin added, picking up Chopper and starting down the stairs.

Usopp jumped up from his seat as Foxy's face really became to contort and laughed boldly. "Five!" He then started directing the crowd to count with him. "Come on guys! Don't just sit there! Count with me! Four!" The Foxy pirates were all muttering to each other in disbelief but joined in anyway.

"THREE!" Foxy's body contorted into a crescent moon shape, bent with the force of Luffy's punch.

"TWO!" The man's body started to lift off the ground, tense like a stretched rubber band.

"ONE!" Foxy was thrown up into the air, spiraling out of control as Luffy's punch took full effect. As he into the ocean (clearly out of bounds), Luffy held up both of his boxing gloves and roared in triumph. All the Straw Hats were cheering, and Robin and Chopper happily walked down the stairs to join their friends. Zoro smiled softly as everyone around them gaped in shock at the defeat of their boss. It was officially declared that the boy with the "tiny crew and the MASSIVE afro" had won the day!

"He won! He did it!" Chopper was running around happily shouting his elation. He wasn't going to be a Foxy Pirate anymore! Robin looked pretty happy too, smiling as everyone cheered. The Foxy Pirates had all collectively jumped into the water to save their captain from drowning, but it was around that time that Luffy collapsed on the figurehead. The whole crew had rushed down to the ground, but Zoro took the shorter route and just jumped straight towards the ship to land beside his boyfriend. He'd picked Luffy up, solemnly taking in all the cuts and bruises on the young man's body, and swiftly took him down to the ground where their doctor was, afro and all. Chopper had started working on bandaging his head and torso where Foxy had punched him with his spiked gloves. Luffy looked worse for wear but he was going to be fine. Even so, his crew still worried about him.

"You little show off! Who do you think you are?" Usopp half-teased half-berated the rubber man as he lay unconscious, poking his slack face as he knelt next to him. He was still wearing Luffy's hat on top of his goggles and bandana, having held onto it for the captain until he woke up. They were both out of their costumes now, but Usopp was already starting to miss being Luffy's coach. "Take this! And this!" he poked.

"Stop that!" Chopper ordered, shocked at Usopp's behavior. "He's really hurt! You'll poke him to death!" He and Robin were still wearing their Foxy masks, having neglected to take them off after the fight (or from Robin's deduction – not allowed to take off until they were picked for Luffy's crew again).

"Yeah, Afro Power my ass," Nami sighed, sitting next to Sanji and watching over Luffy as well. "That was a close call if I've ever seen one."

"Whoa, hey," Sanji interjected. "Let's not disrespect the afro here." Zoro and Robin watched the whole group quietly, Zoro's eyes only on Luffy as they waited for him to wake up. The young man looked pretty bad, covered in cuts and scratches, some of his skin singed from explosions and Foxy's tricks. He hadn't looked like this since Skypiea and it was awful that he hadn't been able to do anything to help his captain – none of them had. But, as if sensing the worry around him, Luffy's feet and hands twitched, a soft groan slipping out of his throat. The whole crew shut up and leaned forward a bit as the rubber man opened his eyes.

"Look! He's waking up!" Chopper exclaimed. Luffy's eyes were open all the way and he sat straight up despite his serious injuries, looking around at his crew and the two people who were his crew but technically weren't right now.

"What happened?! Where am I?! Is it over?! Did I win?! That wasn't just a dream, was it?! Was it?!" The rapid-fire questions came all at once, and Luffy didn't seem to want to wait for an answer so Zoro just piped up, smiling at his dorky boyfriend.

"You don't need to freak out," Zoro answered. "You beat him." That was all that needed to be said. Luffy's panic disappeared and was replaced by a huge smile. Zoro thought it was cute and the rest of the crew did too, smiling back at their idiot captain. Luffy flopped back on the grass, finally having noticed just how much he hurt, but he sighed happily anyway.

"What a relief!"

"Everyone else said you'd lose, but not me!" Usopp bragged, lying right off the bat as he took off Luffy's hat and placed it over his face.

"You're a bad liar," Sanji huffed.

"I guess it would've been a real pain in my ass if you lost," Zoro said.

"No, that's Luffy," Nami interjected.

"Is not!" Luffy retorted without sitting up. "He's the pain in my ass! And let me tell you that sometimes he'll-!" The navigator slapped her hand over the teen's mouth before he could say something gross about the pair's intimate life. Zoro ignored the two of them.

"Imagine being stuck on a boat with Foxy. Screw that," the swordsman said, making a face.

"That would be the real pain in my ass," Luffy added. And then the whole crew (including Luffy) got their statements and the sexual innuendos mixed up and they all were scarred forever shivering at the thought of Foxy doing…

"UGH!" everyone exclaimed, except Robin, who said it politely.

"No more correcting people on who's a pain in whose ass or else this is going to keep happening!" Nami cried.

"Okay!" Luffy agreed. And speaking of Foxy, the defeated pirate walked up to the crew at that moment, as if sensing that he was being bad-mouthed.

"Boss, wait!"

"You've got to take it easy!" Two of Foxy's crew were trying to stop him since he was just as hurt as Luffy was, but the captain strode forward towards the Straw Hats (plus Robin and Chopper) and faced Luffy, his captain's coat resting on his shoulders.

"Hey! Rubber boy!" Foxy called, getting said rubber boy's attention. Zoro's hands went to the Wado Ichimonji, taking a protective stance. If Foxy was going to try something while Luffy was down, then he was going to be prepared. "I was pretty attached to that winning streak of mine! I'm not pleased about you ruining it!" Luffy's pushed himself into a sitting position, wincing at his aches and pains, and put his hat on.

"Boss no!" Foxy's crew cried.

"I'm kidding, brother!" Foxy said with a smile. "Let's shake!"

"What a man! He's the best! You're too kind, boss!" the crew called out cheers at the camaraderie. Luffy held his hand up but as Foxy reached for it, Hamburg and Porche started giggling to themselves. Instead of taking his hand, foxy grabbed Luffy's arm with both hands and pulled, aiming to execute a body flip on his enemy.

"HIYA!" Foxy yelled. "Take my Shoulder Pull of Spite-" and then his head hit the ground as he reached the end of his pull. Luffy's arm had stretched, ruining his sneaky payback attack.

"Oh no!" the Foxy crew shouted.

"This guy's a real piece of work," Zoro sweatdropped.

And then it was time to get down to business. With a huge goose egg on his forehead, Foxy angrily reminded the Straw Hat captain that he had five hundred new members to choose for winning the last Davy Back fight. Luffy stood up and of course, chose Robin and Chopper, the two finally discarding their Foxy masks now that they were Straw Hats again. Chopper burst into tears, leaping into Luffy's arms, and sobbed, having been put through the worst of the day's worries. Luffy laughed at his little friend and hugged him tightly with a huge smile on his face.

"I'm so happy!" the doctor bawled. "Thank you! Thank you!" Robin smiled and handled her comeback with a little more grace, politely handing her mask back to a Foxy pirate. And with four hundred and ninety-eight more crew members to pick, Luffy took the Foxy Pirates' Jolly Roger mark and replaced it with a really horrible substitute, since he didn't need any more crew members. Shirt on and with the old Foxy flag in tow, Luffy and his crew were ready to go. However, the Foxy flag only counted as one and so he was left with four hundred and ninety-seven more crew members to choose, which was a real pain in his ass (but he wasn't allowed to say that anymore).

"The rules are the rules!" Foxy exclaimed, calling Luffy back. "I don't care if you need them or not! You're going to pick those crewmates right now!"

"Awwwww, do I have to?" Luffy whined, pouting so cutely that Zoro couldn't help but admire it.

"Of course you do! Stop complaining!"

"Hey, Luffy!" Zoro called, coming up with a pretty smart idea. "A crew has to follow their captain's orders no matter what, remember?"

"Huh?" The rubber man didn't catch his drift.

"Yes, that's right," Robin agreed.

"That makes it easy!" Usopp agreed as well.

"Hm." Sanji got it as well. Chopper and Nami however, did not.

"What is?" the navigator asked.

"I got it! No problem!" Luffy's smile came back, even wider than before once he got it too. And that's when he proceeded to stun everyone not in the know. Luffy picked four hundred and ninety-seven crew members (excluding Hamburg, Foxy, and Porche), the new Straw Hat pirates took the Sexy Foxy away from them for space purposes, sent Foxy and his two-member crew off to sea, and then Luffy kicked all his new members off of his crew (excluding Robin and Chopper), all in less than five minutes.

"You'll all dismissed!" Luffy shouted with a smile, looking fairly commanding for once in his life.

"You mean…you're kicking us off?" the entire former Foxy crew sweatdropped.

"Yep! You got it!" Luffy replied matter-of-factly.

"Captain's orders are absolute," Zoro reminded them, acting like a first mate for once. "I don't want to hear any complaining."

"I don't care if you join your old crews again or if you go back to Split Head, but whatever you do you can't stay with me!" He paused, prolonging the dramatic silence. "So long!"

The Foxy pirates were on the Sexy Foxy and setting sail in less than a minute, all four hundred and ninety-seven of them.

"Well, that worked out nicely," Nami remarked.

"I'll say," Usopp agreed.

"Good riddance," Sanji added.

"What a pain in my – " Luffy started.

"Shut it!" everyone yelled, except Robin, who just said it politely.

To be Continued...

A/N: And there you go! Let me know what you think and I'll see you next time! :3