"Hello, this is 119, emergency services, how may I help you?"

Kuraima held his iPhone to his ear as he called Japan's equivalent of 911. "Yes...uh...I would like to report what I believe is a house invasion in progress…"

He wasn't stupid. He wasn't some shonen battle-action protagonist who would recklessly charge into the fray. That worm god didn't even give him a inkling of an explanation of what his new powers were capable of!

"Please remain calm, we're sending police units immediately. Is the intruder armed?"

Were they? Hell if he knew! "I….I don't know...all I know is that there's someone in my house!" If only he could just see through walls! But alas, beggars can't be choosers.

Kuraima continued to mentally thrash around until he felt an overwhelming headache. He clutched his forehead, desperately trying to remain calm.

—

The God of the Cosmos could see plenty enough. Only the Devourer could avoid his watchful eyes.

—

The amulet was glowing, pouring knowledge into his brain, which was sensually narrated by the disembodied voice of David Attenborough. Items of high value around him began to glow a soft yellow. He could see the glowing silhouette of a painting in the hallway, even through the wall. A spider roamed beneath the floor, marked with a green, arachnid-shaped dot. In the place he believed to be the downstairs kitchen, the figure of his house intruder, glowing a bright, hostile red. Unlike the spider, he could see a detailed image of this person, almost as if he were a cheater using wallhacks in an online match.

Bald male, rather buff and rigid, flaky dried skin, with a row of spines running down the length of his body. Oh, and the gaping maw of teeth.

'What the actual fuck?' Kuraima thought to himself. 'He looks like those fucking Hell Knights from Doom!'

"Excuse me sir, is everything alright?" The dispatcher asked. The student quickly snapped back to reality. "Oh...yes...I'm still here..It's just…" He didn't even have to put any effort into faking it, he was already mentally drained from the headache and forced insertion of knowledge. "I've just got a migraine, because i'm really stressed out…"

"Sir, I understand this is a very stressful situation, but please remain calm."

"I know...I just got a look at the intruder. It's….a bald dude...and his skin looks really dried out…He doesn't even look human." And Kuraima thought that his own skin conditions was bothersome enough.

Just then, the inhuman invader looked up towards him. He didn't hear him...did he?

Yes, yes he did. He's heading up the stairs…! "Oh sweet jesus he heard me."

Kuraima reached down and grabbed something wedged in the thin space between the bed frame and the mattress; a standard combat knife, a gift from his father. He pulled it from its sheath, ready to make a last ditch effort to protect his precious belongings...and his own life, of course.

For once in his life, he wished he had the Second Amendment™ on his side. But he was stuck here in his home with nothing but a knife and probably some other improvisational weaponry.

"Sir? Are you there? Hello?" The 119 responder could be heard asking as the student leaves his phone on the bed.

A foul stench seeped into the room, giving Kuraima urge to hurl yesterday's lunch. He did his best to steel his resolve, raising the knife into a less-than-optimal attack stance as he took up an ambush position. His hand trembled, as he'd never been into anything potentially more violent than a shoving fight.

He had little warning, other than the magical wallhack, when the beast-person pulled his arm back, and fucking punched through the wall, aiming to grab his throat and wring his neck like a chicken. Claws gently bristled against his neck as he jumped back, yelping like a little girl.

Panicking, he swung the knife with reckless abandon. Blade met dried flesh as he struck its palm, cutting it up. Drops of blood dripped from the shallow wounds. Upon discovering that its prey fought back, the house intruder squealed in anger, withdrawing its arm. The student used this moment of reprise to catch his breath, panting loudly.

At this point, it became very clear that this person was not out for ill-gotten gains, but for blood. Didn't make the situation any less worse for him, though. Now, the question was how to escape this mess….

The door snapped in half, flinging wooden splinters into the air, as the house intruder burst through, snarling. However, Kuraima was nowhere to be seen. The only sign of him was a recently opened window.

—-

The so-called parkourist hung from a ledge, his grip tightening in the chilly pre-dawn air.

He'd chosen to abscond from his room, via the window. Already, he was regretting it. It was pretty cold out here, and he didn't have much room for maneuvering. His name was supposed to translate something along the lines of "Climber" but this was ridiculous.

However, it became even more readily apparent that he'd just goofed big time when he looked over and saw how far away the ground below him was.

Okay, parkourist or not, he was not willing to drop from a two-story building from the second floor. Survivable, yes. But still very, very unpleasant.

He didn't have much of a choice when the house intruder poked out of the window, glowing beady eyes staring down at him as drool gathered within its mandible-filled mouth. It heaved, dropping a ball of sand —congealed with an assload of saliva— right onto his face. The climber instinctively let go, dropping down to the ground below.

'Fuuuuuuck, how many STDs did I just get?'

With a thud, Kuraima landed on the ground, in the middle of his decorational backyard garden. He began to wipe off the offending spitball when he felt something bite his hand. He recoiled, pulling a segmented little worm out of the mess. It wriggled wildly, flailing, desperate to rip into his flesh and feast on his insides. Grossed out, he tried to yank it off, to little success. Eventually, he ended up crushing it, resulting in a nasty mix of brittle carapace and soft, moist worm guts, causing the student holding it to gag intensely.

He flung it off towards the dirt, and finally took a moment to recollect himself.

So now here he was; chased out of his own house by the most disgusting supernatural entity of all time. Not only that, but he'd left his house keys inside of the building, so he was also locked out.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Hey, uuuh…I guess I'll come back later?" A new voice spoke up. Kuraima looked up to see some homeless-looking man armed with a crowbar.

"...What are you doing here?"

The homeless man shrugged. "Oh, I was gonna rob your house. But then I saw that you got caught up in….whatever the hell you're doing." He admitted. So this was the house robber the old man had warned him about?

Kuraima just stared at him for a few good seconds as the monster hissed down at them.

"I...guess I'll go now." The man said, turning away.

"N-No! Wait!" The student called out. "I'm locked out of my own house! Surely you can help me get back in?" The man looked very bewildered. "You fuckin' retarded, kid?! That thing's not human! It'll fuck you right up!"

That….was a very good point. Just a few moments ago he was trying to defend himself. Why was he suddenly so concerned about going back inside? He could just wait it out, and wait until the police arrive!

Except...what if the police are outclassed? It's a supernatural entity, for god's sake! As per rules of fiction media, cops are almost always useless when put up against such beings!

No, no! That's just fiction! A tale!

No, wait. If the supernatural exists, then what else was real?! Was he gonna end up in Area 51, or was he going to be locked up at SCP's Site 19, where he would then be sodomized by Dr. Bright's Chainsaw Cannon™? So many works of fiction, so many possibilities—

"Ack!" He called out when the would-be robber pinched him. "Dude, you alright? You spaced out there!" Kuraima rubbed the spot on his shoulder where he got pinched. "Y...Yeah. I'm fine."

But he wasn't fine. Why did he want to re-enter the house so badly? He didn't know. Finally, he sighed. "You got anything to do? I left my phone up in there…"

—-

[A few minutes later…]

"Hey, you got any fives?"

"Go fish. You got any aces?"

"Go fish."

Kuraima and the homeless-looking man, who he had learned was named Nyke, sat across from each other, playing a game of Go Fish. As for why his new buddy was bringing a deck of playing cards to a planned home invasion was a mystery for another day.

The beast had lost interest in the teenager after chasing him out of the house, and according to Kuraima's magical wallhacks, he could see it rummaging through the fridge, greedily stuffing its face with fresh groceries.

'Fucking freeloader.' He thought to himself, adjusting his legs on account of his incredibly sore lower half.

"You got any pain pills?"

"Go fish— Wait, what?"

"Ugh."

The two were interrupted by a twisted snarl as two shapes came out of the bushes. Another of the twisted, dried individuals came out; another bald male, and as expected of a fanfiction about an ecchi harem anime, a female.

Kuraima would've rated her body a 7/10 —maybe even a 9/10 for the monster girl schtick— on the 4Chan Rating Scale™, were it not for the grotesque dried skin that looked more like twisted carapace than anything else. So instead, she gets a 3/10, and a foreseeable restraining order.

"Gwaaarh!" She hissed menacingly, revealing her maw full of twisted teeth and mandibles, a white crystalline substance coating them. "Food! Food! Two adolescent young males! Tonight we shall feast!"

The two aforementioned males looked at each other.

"I don't know if I wish she meant that in a sexual way. I don't want that fucking meat grinder she calls a mouth anywhere near my dick but at the same time I'd rather not die." Nyke stated

"...You and me both, stranger." The student and the criminal nodded in agreement, the two turning back to face their opponents in tandem. "We gonna fight this out?"

"As much as I don't like our chances, I say we've no other choice. At least, until the cops arrive."

Kuraima grabbed at his waist for the hilt of his knife, and nearly blanched when he felt nothing but an empty sheath. He'd tossed the knife aside in his panic when he'd jumped out of the window earlier.

Too late to dwell on that, as the alpha bitch charged him. She slashed at him, scoring first blood! It was a shallow cut, but it stung like a bitch nonetheless. He stumbled back, looking for a weapon to use. Then, he spotted it; in the distance sat his combat knife, early morning lights glimmering off its blade like the Holy Aura of Excalibur™.

Kuraima jumped back, focusing his attention on his opponent once more to avoid the Scourge's swiping claws as she moved in for a follow-up attack.

"Come to me, my dinner! I'll eat you raw!" She taunted, twisting her snake-like tongue between her teeth and mandibles.

"I'd rather not!" Kuraima responded. He threw a panicked right hook at the alpha, only for her to catch his wrist at blinding speeds. She pushes him back, up against the side of his house, threatening to wrench his arm from his body. He clenched his teeth as searing pain shot through him, the predator getting face-to-face while wearing the lovecraftian equivalent of a shit-eating grin.

"Hey! Eat this!" A bloodied Nyke suddenly shouted, slamming a crowbar into the monster's head, spreading guts and the like…

Actually, the crowbar snaps into two.

The Scourge offhandedly slaps Nyke away— who is immediately dogpiled by the screeching male— before refocusing on her prey. "Where shall I bite first? The throat is so tasty, but i'm in the mood for some ribs!"

While she monologues about how she was gonna cannibalize him, his free hand managed to feel up the valve for the water hose faucet. Glancing around, he notices that said hose is connected to a recreational water sprinkler. Not one of those soft ones you ran through as a kid, but one of those high-powered ones that stung a teeny tiny bit if you got too close to where the water came out. He twisted that valve like there was no tomorrow, unleashing a firm stream of water through the hose.

This caught her off guard, as she turned around to try and find out why she felt water on her backside...only to get sprayed directly in the eyes. Her grip loosened for but a moment, which was all he needed. He mustered all of his strength, slamming his knee into her stomach.

Brittle chitin shattered beneath the force, prompting saliva and parasitic worms to slip from her surprised mouth. The student made a break for it, despite his now very sore knee, running towards the knife's resting place.

But alas, lady luck was busy binge-drinking, when a ball of wet sand struck his shin with enough force to disrupt his stride and send him collapsing to the ground. The other male, the one who had invaded his home, had torn through the back door upon realizing that its leader had been hurt and immediately went on the offensive, firing sandy spitballs at the student.

As the beast charged him, Kuraima scrambled to grab his blade. He was barely able to grasp it just as the beast was upon him! He rolled back over, swinging the blade in a wide arc across the creature's chest, creating a large gash. Wounded, the man-scourge retreated, hissing.

He took this moment to catch his breath. The two Scourges approached slowly, wary of any tricks he might try to pull.

"Gyaaaaaaagh!"

Kuraima heard screaming and looked over to see Nyke getting his hand chewed up by the battered desert menace.

"Nyke!" He called out, prepping the knife. But then he hesitated, knowing that he probably couldn't throw for shit if his life depended on it.

Knife or no knife, the two of them were still sorely outmatched.

"How interesting!" The female called out, "The two of you are the first to last this long! A full minute!"

'Has it really been that long…?'

"Unfortunately I'm afraid that my hunger for human flesh has grown too strong for me…" She glances over at the water sprinkler for a moment. "...to hold at bay!"

There was something Kuraima couldn't hold at bay either.

"...Why human flesh?" The alpha Scourge stopped, looking back at him. "Ex….Excuse me?"

'Me and my big mouth. Here goes nothing!"

"Aren't humans just a hassle to kill? I mean, come on, there's livestock, out there in the countryside, with probably tenfold more nutritional value. And, uh, like...uh….oh, right! Humans tend fight back when cornered, and they tend to go searching for people who go missing, y'know!"

'Thank you, Terrible Writing Advice video on alien invasions.'

Silence reigned for a while. Even Nyke stopped screaming like a little bitch. "Little human...are you serious?"

Kuraima shrugged halfheartedly. "...Maaaaybe?"

An awkward pause ensued before she started screaming. "...That's. IT. I'm going to strip you down, down to your bones!"

"But I just—"

"SHUT UUUUUP! HOW DARE YOU BRING LOGIC INTO THE EQUATION!"

As she screamed, tons of the chitinous worms emerged from every opening on her body, including the unmentionables. What he'd previously assumed to be body mass was actually a writhing mass of worms.

Screw the 4Chan rating system, this gal's a straight up a fucking one.

"FEED, LITTLE ONES! TEAR HIM APART! SHRED HIM!"

The undulating tidal wave of worms obeyed her command, inching towards Kuraima and the downed home invader, who was desperately trying to hobble away.

'Damnit! I can't attack her, even if I could throw a knife, because then I'd be open to her big…what's the word….lackies.' He silently thought, weighing his options. 'If I attack one of them, the others will come after me. I'm not even wearing shoes, so trying to traverse across the worm army is a no-go as well!'

...Screw it! He brandished his knife, facing towards the closest scourge; the one who had just attacked him before the human flesh debacle.

'Astrum, please! If you're listening, help me! Bless this blade that I wield or something!'

The large gem on his Sacred Gear began to glow...

The scourge, seeing his action as a threat, went on the offensive, charging at him. This time, however, Kuraima was ready. He held the knife up, with the intention of making the man-beast impale himself. When his opponent caught on to his plan, it was too late.

The student for a moment thought that his arms would buckle under the pressure, as the knife dug deeply into the being's chest, piercing through bone, muscle, and heart tissue like a piece of cake.

For a moment, he felt dread. He had just ended someone's life! But he tried his best to ignore it. After all, it was in self defense.

Now feeling internally twice as dead as the actual dead beast, pulled his blade out and shoved the dying body away from him, distracting a good number of worms as they stopped to feast on the man's flesh.

The blade was now covered in an ethereal glow, with magical neon energies illuminating every scuff and scratch on the blade.

—-

Whereas the previous ability was a power held by Astrum Deus as a physical being, this ability stems from him as a god-like entity. With this power, an avatar of Deus can infer a blessing on behalf of the god, who cannot do so mainly because he's dead.

People or objects given the Cosmic God's blessings can achieve greater performances! The closest comparison might be Shirou's Reinforcement spell. Weapons become sharper, fires burn brighter, and so on.

For now, Kuraima can only bless smaller, simpler objects. The knife is only about 10% more powerful, but against the Desert Scourge's brittle chitin, it might as well be a finely-crafted greatsword made from the most elusive of metals! But who knows what he might be able to pull off in the future…?

—-

Did...that voice straight up mention some dude named Shirou? More specifically, Shirou Emiya from the Fate/Night series? Huh. Weird!

He was having second thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, he could fight back! But his thoughts were rudely interrupted when the worms gathered around him and begun flinging themselves at him, in an attempt to grab a foothold on his skin.

Let it be known; Kuraima did not enjoy having creepy crawlies touching him anywhere. Especially those that actively tried to dig into his flesh! He backed away, scanning the yard for a new escape route. He saw Nyke in the distance, who'd managed to stab the other Scourge to death with the broken crowbar.

"Dude you gonna be alright!?" The student called out. He got a cry of pain in response.

"Aaaaaaugh! Their teeth are covered in salt! It fucking hurts!" Well, that explains the white stains. At long as that alpha doesn't bite him, he should be good to go. "Are you able to get outta here?"

"I can manage! But how the hell are we gonna beat this bitch? And where's the goddamn cops?!" Nyke replies, stabbing a worm through the head as it edged too close to him. "You called them almost half an hour ago!"

—

Unfortunately, the cops had pulled up to the wrong house, where a robbery in progress just so happened to occur at the same time.

—

Kuraima, trying to think of an answer, looked over at the Desert Scourge once more. She stood there menacingly...or at least, she attempted to. Over and over, she continued to glance over at the water sprinkler, even going so far as to scoot closer to it.

Then, the student realized something. 'That's it! Her mouth is full of salt, and salt makes you thirsty as hell! I should know; for I put too much salt on everything I eat!`

He had the distraction, but not the means to directly utilize it. Unless…

Kuraima breathed in, mentally steeling himself, holstering his knife.

'Okay, the thing I said about shonen protagonists…fuck it! I'm gonna do it!'

He exhaled, and ran full sprint across the worm field.

"Oi, kid! What the hell are you doing?!" The burglar yelled. "You're gonna die!"

Sharp pincers snapped at his ankles with audible clicks, which he desperately tried to ignore as the smaller worms were messily crushed beneath his steps, getting yucky worm guts all over his precious socks.

"You're pretty ballsy, for a human!" The Scourge called out, gathering sand within her palms. "But that courage won't do any good!" She swung her arms, sending a pair of hardened sand balls at him.

He managed to avoid the first one, only to feel a sharp pain shoot through his ankle as the second one struck. With his stride ruined and an overwhelming sense of deja vu, he misstepped and came collapsing down with an embarrassing flop.

`Seriously? I was downed by the same attack? TWICE?`

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw his opponent move in to stab him with her claws, forcing him to quickly roll over, but not in time to avoid a glancing blow to his side, leaving her talons embedded in the ground.

"Stay STILL!" She screamed, wildly slashing at him with her other arm while trying to pry her claws from the muddy earth.

Without the time to think of a witty remark, he grabbed for the water sprinkler. He grabbed its base with both hands, aiming it directly at her face.

"God bless!" Kuraima shouted, as the rotor-blades of the water sprinkler became blessed, improving its performance.

Whereas before it simply stung a little, now, it packed a little bit more punch.

Plus, he now had it aimed right at her eyes. She screeched...no, screamed as she was blinded with pressurized fluid!

"Bite on this!" His adrenaline pumping, the student yelled as he unsheathed his knife and stabbed her in the gut. A direct hit!

She stumbled back, blood oozing from her wound. She opened her mouth to scream obscenities, but not a single word came out.

He reared back, kicking her in the stomach and sending her down to the ground with a big thwomp. While she was down, he took his chance to jump onto her, straddling the Scourge and holding the knife above her, poised to strike. She stared at it, unable to look away and awaiting in inevitable.

The blade never came down.

"Oi, Kuraima! The hell you waiting for? Kill that bitch!"

The student held his hand high, trembling. "I….I can't do it!" He'd seen the fear in her eyes. Unlike the males who'd charged at him, she still resembled an actual human. Not a...visually pleasing one, but still.

"You can't do what?! She fucking tried to kill you!" Nyke complained, trying to remind him of the obvious.

"I….ah….uh…." He'd lost his adrenaline high, but his frantic beating of his heart still rang throughout his head as he tried to think of a response.

Nothing came to mind. With shaky legs, he got off of her and stood up.

"L...Leave!" He demanded through pained breaths, pointing the glowing blade at her. "Leave and d...don't come back!"

She nodded frantically and scrambled away into the woods. Once her silhouette disappeared into the forestry, Kuraima half-collapsed, sitting down on the ground.

"Ack...fuckin' hell." The student sighed. His precious pajamas were stained with blood and cut up in various places. The t-shirt he could easily replace. However he really enjoyed that particular pair of pants. It was about time he washed them, anyways.

He could feel his vision getting darker and darker. By exerting himself, he'd kept his shallow wounds open. Yes, they were shallow, but they were pretty big.

"Hey, what was that sound?!" A male voice called out.

Finally, the cops arrived, walking around the corner.

"Holy shit, call an ambulance!"

Finally assured that he and his apparently new buddy were in safe hands, Kuraima passed out.

—-

Later, in the hospital…

Kuraima slept soundly in his hospital bed, covered in bandages. He didn't need any stitches, luckily, but he'd be left with a sore, bruised leg for quite a while. He'd be discharged in about a day or two, but for now he was content to dream about the stars.

However, someone else had other plans in mind. A ripple, a portal, if you will, opens up beside his bed.

Out comes a woman, donning heavy armor, made from an unknown metal. Smooth curves gave it the appearance of chitin, giving off the aura of a god slayer.

Her boots clanked heavily as she walked to Kuraima's side. A second person shortly followed her in through the portal; he heavily resembled Raiden from Metal Gear Rising, to the point one might consider him a cosplayer were it not for the massive red mane of hair and the small rocket boosters on his upper back. At his sides, were several sheathed blades, two scimitars and a blood-red katana.

"Mistress," he began. "Pardon my insolence or ignorance, but are you sure you wish to do this? Wouldn't it be more merciful to kill him?"

"Very much so." She replied, withdrawing a syringe filled with an icky green substance, covered in a bright pink-ish aura. "But he still has a chance to live if I do it this way. Not everyone has a royal heritage like you, Von Crimsten, to overpower the infection."

She was referring to the Astral Infection, the plague that has destroyed many planets back in Astrum's world. Her bodyguard happened to be part of an extremely important bloodline, allowing him to assimilate and control his very own strain of this galactic plague.

"He is but simply a normal teenager, albeit one with an above-average mana supply." The hulking armored form of a woman continued. "I watched my own brother, even though blessed by the star god himself, suffer as the Astral matter within his body continued to generate until it poisoned him to death. The only reason we haven't had to trim out your symbiote is because your current body is simply a projection with a soul inside. If not even you were able to escape the infection unscathed, then what chance does he have?" She questioned, motioning over to the teen.

Her bodyguard crossed his arms. "And so you would use my late father-in-law's plague, infused with the essence of the Great Devourer, to make sure he lives?"

"If a deal with the Devourer is what it takes, then so be it." She gestures to her own body, her bright, pixelated eyes glowing brightly in the dark hospital room. "I lost everything to the Astral Infection. My family, my body, my planet. I'll be damned if I let the same happen to this beautiful world."

The cyborg in red stares at her for a moment, clenching his fists. The Crimson man knew all too well what is was like to lose his entire family. Twice, in fact.

Then, he nods solemnly. "Alright, Mistress Klaire. Do it."

Kuraima's unconscious form flinched as the syringe was imbedded into his neck, slowly depositing its contents into the student's bloodstream.

"We're finished here."

By the time Kuraima woke up, the two were long gone. The only sign they were even there was a slight stinging sensation on the side of his neck.

He shrugged, checking his phone. (It'd been returned to him after the police searched his house for any intruders. They found none.)

It was Sunday.

Fuuuuuuuuck, he'd literally just started his weekend only to sleep through it all!

—-

Meanwhile, Nyke got sentenced about a hundred hours of community service for conspiracy to attempt burglary.

They would've sentenced him with jail time, but seeing as how poor he was and how he had to get his hand amputated because it was so horribly mangled, they decided to give him a break.

—-

Hey lose—….LOYAL readers! I did it!

I wrote another chapter for once!