Beep beep! Beep beep!
"uugh"
Kuraima groaned as his alarm clock went off.
He didn't feel so good this fine morning. Why, you may ask?
Stomach cramps.
Over the last few days, these cramps had slowly gotten a bit worse.
'Fuck it…' He thought, using what limited morning semi-consciousness he had at the moment. 'If this doesn't clear up soon, I'll seek a doctor.'
After a long and arduous day of school and abdominal pains, Kuraima flopped down onto one of the couches in the ORC club room.
"Whew, finally ...Tuesday classes are over."
His stomach cramps had gone away as well, though he knew they'd be back when he least expected it.
So in the meantime, he'd enjoy this period of bliss while could.
…
…
…
"Ah…I left my Switch at home."
Hmm…
Let's see, there weren't any immediate after-school meetings, so he didn't really have a reason to stick around until later when the local Devils started doing their contract works.
Even then he didn't have much of a reason.
Then he remembered when he'd invited Issei to join him on a trip to that fantasy cosplay cafe that recently opened up.
…Fuck it, he had nothing better to do.
Some time later, the Astral Student came upon said cafe.
The storefront looked pretty normal, with signs reading the following:
Moonlit Fantasy Cafe and Musicals
All are welcome to rest and share thy tales!
However, once he stepped inside, the atmosphere felt like that of an entirely different world. He was almost certain there was a way to make an isekai joke from that previous statement...he just couldn't think of one at the moment.
It resembled every stock Tolkien fantasy/Dungeons & Dragons tavern ever, with (artificially) dated wooden floor boarding and tables. Drinks were served in traditional glasses, but apparently could be served in mugs as well.
In the back was a raised platform stage, clearly one where a bard was meant to play songs, though no one was there at the moment.
There were people here dressed as adventurers and loitering around. A group in the leftmost-side of the dining area headed towards a flight of stairs, labeled 'Game Room Above' in both Japanese and somewhat broken English, presumably going up to play some tabletop fantasy games.
Of course, there were normal people here too, such as few that Kuraima recognized as other Kuoh students, and even a few foreigners.
"Oi, Kuraima!" He heard a familiar voice. The Astral Champion looked over at the corner table to see the familiar face that matched it.
"Ayyy, Nyke-san!"
The two greeted each other with the universal sign of bromance; the fistbump.
"How're ya doing, Nyke-san? Haven't seen you since we fought that Scourge!"
"Been a little rough, bro. Things are looking for me though. Finally, I got a job, if you can call it that. The boss's a little eccentric, a bit of a womanizer, and he's got really weird subordinates but he's a really good guy at heart. Plus he pays really well and completely ignored my criminal record."
"So that means…"
"That's right; I have retired from a life of crime! Well, sorta. Boss has us do some sketchy shit every now and then but like I said, the pay's decent."
"Hah! That's good to know." Kuraima turned away to address the waitress with their menus. Seems like Nyke hasn't had his meal yet.
The waitress in question had dulled silver hair— a hair color usually reserved for main characters or edgelords— and was dressed up as an old-timey barmaid.
As she handed him his menu, his eyes met hers. For the student, it was really only just a brief moment as his social anxiety caused him to immediately avert his gaze.
When he felt that she still had a firm grasp on the menu, he looked back up at her. Her freckled cheeks were tinged a faint pink, staring at him intensely.
"Uhm ...miss? Can I help you?"
The waitress snapped out of her stupor. Hold on, wasn't it the guy who was supposed to blank out…?
"A-Ah! Please f-forgive me! I'm s-still new to this job…!"
'Hold up. Meeting two shy cuties in the span of less than a week? I'm not sure where this is going and I'm not sure if I wanna know.'
"Ah, um...don't worry about it. I'm not good with strangers either." He glanced at Nyke. "Well, usually not, I guess?"
He thought for a moment. "Now that I think about it, being friends with one of the most popular girls in my school makes it a lot easier…"
"What, are you saying she's not pretty?"
The Astral Student's focus locked onto his friend as the young male sputtered. "What? No! How does popularity relate to prettiness?! Besides, she's t-totally my type a-and…!"
"You ...you really think of me that…w-way?" She gasped, seemingly as if she'd never received an iota of appreciation in her life.
"Yes! Wait— Well, I mean, you're…attractive, yes...b-but…argh!"
'Nyke, you fucking son of a bitch!' Kuraima's mind screamed as it continued to spam the metaphorical reset button, to no avail.
"Ah...um….orders! Yes!" He interjected, trying to defuse the situation. "I'll take the...uuuuuuuuh...hm...I'll take the Cream-filled Cosmic Puffs with a mug of Root Beer— specifically the Barq's brand."
"A-Ah, I see."
She took the two's orders and finally left them alone.
"What the fuck was that, Nyke-san?!"
"I come here for lunch every day my man, and I gotta say, I don't think I've seen her stare at someone for so long— had her eyes on you the moment you walked in the door. Safe to say that you caught a pretty lady's eye, Kuraima."
"Whu-?! Wha-?! What even…?!"
Nyke just laughed at his expense. "Hey man, I still owe ya for the whole Scourge thing. I don't think any set number of favors are ever gonna repay you for saving my ass."
Kuraima faceplanted the table in defeat.
"Hey, lighten up, bro. You gotta admire the atmosphere this place has! Hell, this place actually has a bit of fantasy lore to it. Something about a lunar god. The owner has a few self-published books about it— Really well-written ones, too."
"Ugh...I guess ...hey, whatever happened to your hand?"
"Ah, they had to amputate it. But hey, check it out!" He brought his arm up to reveal a mechanical replacement. "Boss bought it for me. It works like a charm. Think he might be trying to spoil me rotten, though."
"That sounds a little gay when you put it like that."
"Oi! You know what I mean!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
The two continued to talk about various subjects until the waitress returned with their food.
"T-Thank you, miss." The student thanked her, trying not to look her in the eye after their previous encounter.
As they began to dig in, a man walked out onto the stage. Whoever he was, he seemed like he might be pretty important as everyone immediately quieted down.
"Oh, here comes the good part," Nyke whispered. "You see, they do mini-concerts. Or musicals. Not sure what they call 'em."
"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience! For this afternoon's show, we have the second act of this week's storyline; Halcyon and the Symphony of the Sky! But boy, do I have a surprise for all of you! Today, a fan favorite makes her return as a guest! Everyone, let us give my dear cousin Jenny Hallows a warm welcome!"
Kuraima spat out his drink, spraying Nyke with a sugary mess. "N-No freaking way! The Jenny Hallows?! Like, World Adventures of Ren Jenny Hallows?!"
As the crowd cheered, a brunette walked out on stage, wearing a relatively modest yet appealing bardic costume. In her hands, she carried a fiddle, a common bard instrument.
"Who now?" Nyke asked, tilting his head.
"What kind of rock have you been living under?! World Adventures of Ren is one of the best cartoon series ever made!"
The lights dimmed as Jenny began to strum her instrument of choice.
Come here now O' Weary Traveler,
Rest now for perhaps a moment,
And hear the tale that I have to offer,
'Tis that of a hero of which you may know by name.
"You mean that kids cartoon show? You know how I am, dude— Too old for that kinda stuff."
Kuraima put a hand up. "They say kids, but to be honest some of the themes in that show are waaaaay too philosophical for kids to understand. At least, I think it is. Dunno, I grew up thinking that kids were really, REALLY fucking stupid, due to personal experience as the stupid kid. But no, it turns out I was actually autistic the whole time. It felt weird being in 5th grade and realizing the third-grader playing on his 3Ds next to me had a better ability to comprehend Pokemon mechanics than I did at the same age."
…
"But hey, I just watch it because Ren's sidekick is a living meme."
A strapping young man,
Known by the name of Halcyone,
Blessed by the Heavens,
He sought to bring the world together as one.
"I'm telling you, it's worth the watch just for Mr. Bone's antics alone and—" The Astral Student paused. "...is that bird looking at me?"
Outside the window, a large round and fluffy-looking pigeon-like bird sat on the storefront, staring in through the window, more specifically staring dead-on at Kuraima.
Nyke turned around to look at it, before shrugging. "Eh," He shrugged. "Don't worry about it. It stared at me all the time when I came here."
Kuraima shrugged.
God, he just wanted to grab that bird and fucking SNUGGLE the shit out of it because GOD DAMN that thing looked soft.
Under the guidance of the Lord of Sun,
The young one was given a new goal.
"Young Blessed One, I have a task for thee,
Head to the mountains of the Harpy Queen.
I'd do it myself, but frankly,
There wouldn't be much left to see."
Kuraima kinda ran out of things to talk about, so he focused on eating the pastries sitting before him.
'Not bad.' He thought as he bit into the bright orange one. It certainly...tasted like an orange, to say the least. A little too strong for him, but he sucked it up and continued to munch.
Before he knew it, he found his hand empty and a distant feeling of sadness that there was none left.
But hey, there were still three more flavors to try.
He allowed himself to be lost in the music as he absentmindedly ate the rest of his meal.
A few hours passed, and Kuraima found himself feeling quite satisfied with both his lunch and the show.
After paying for his meal, he strolled down the sidewalk towards home with a bit of extra spring in his step.
Just then, a familiar face appeared. "Oi, Kuraima!"
'Oh no, it's Issei.' The pervert in question was parking his bike, resting it against the wall of an alleyway.
"Oh...hey, Hyoudou-san. You on Devil Duty?"
"Yeah, the usual…"
Modern-day Devil Contracts were...interesting, to say the least. Instead of selling your soul— an entirely outdated method— you just gave Devils valuables or other material objects in exchange for their services.
Thing is, while Issei had excellent reviews...he never actually made a single contract, and thus never got rewarded. And that's a problem because making contracts was one of the primary ways to rank up in the Devil social hierarchy.
To add insult to injury, Issei was so fucking weak that he couldn't even use the magic teleportation circles that "even a toddler could use." Hence, the bike.
"I got nothin' better to do and I don't feel like playing Miner's Haven on ROBLOX for the rest of the evening. Mind if I join?"
"Eh, sure, whatever." The pervert shrugged. "Suit yourself."
Kuraima followed his fellow student into the alleyway, where the reincarnated Devil knocked on the door.
No response.
However, the door was cracked open just a teensy bit.
"Huh? What the heck is this…?" Issei scratched his head. One could only imagine the mental Olympics going through his head...
"Dude, did you just get fucking butt-dialed by magic?"
"I mean, maybe? Hold on, what if something's gone horribly wrong?"
"I slowly opened the door…" Kuraima quoted.
"Oi, don't joke around like that!"
"I took the chance, and I took it."
As the reincarnated Devil opened the door, the two walked inside.
"Yoooohoo! Your mail-ordered Devil has arrived…!"
No response.
"Okay, what the hell is going on? And what's that smell?" The pervert complained, causing Kuraima to take a whiff.
"I know, right? It smells ...like...like blood..."
The two looked at each other, their minds in perfect sync.
'Oh fuck.'
The two summoned their Sacred Gears, proceeding cautiously into the living room.
And nearly shat themselves.
Issei's would-be summoner was dead on the couch, with a very large knife in his chest.
Painted on the wall was the words 'DEATH TO THE SINNERS'.
"Do you like it?" A man asked, walking towards the two from the shadows. "I feel like I had something much deeper and thought-provoking, but I realized I wasn't gonna have enough blood to pull it off. Still, it really adds a nice, murderous—"
"HHHUUUUUUUUAAAAARRRRHHH!" Kuraima promptly roared as he keeled over and fucking emptied his stomach of everything it held within.
"Dude, dude! Not cool! I had a cool intro and everything planned out! Instead, you had to walk right up and barf on my handiwork!"
"S...Sorry...I…"
"Ugh! To hell with it! You! Devil! Just move mister crayon-puke aside and let's get to the part where we fight!"
Issei was rather confused and alarmed, as he shoved Kuraima onto the couch.
"Alright, good enough! Name's Freed Sellzan, yadda yadda. Now, die you shitty Devil!" The Priestly(?) man shouted, aiming a fucking gun at Issei and firing.
"Gah!" The pervert yelped, diving to the side to avoid the bright yellow tracer rounds. "No fair!"
"All's fair in love and war, you shitty Devil!"
"The hell did I even do?!"
The man drew a lightsaber and swung, slicing through a vase without shattering it. "That's easy! You're a Devil, I'm a man of God! Just like oil and water! And this sinner sitting on the couch next to vomit comet is a filthy devil-worshipper! Can you believe it?! He wanted to summon a devil because he couldn't be bothered to cook his own dinner! Now that's just totally wacky AND heretical!"
Freed pranced about, dodging Issei's punches.
"Come on, activate!"
"Boosto!" The perv's gauntlet announced in a rather...not so flashy method. Issei felt the power flow through him, and he kept pushing against the madman's defenses.
"Heh, a [Twice Critical]? Fought plenty of those before. They're a dime a dozen, I tell ya! They say that there's always at least one or two in every small city!"
The two were at a standstill, dancing around each other in varying degrees of skill. Issei kinda just stumbled around while Freed cut shit up and threw bullets in the pervert's general direction.
Even when a bullet whizzed by his head and cut off a lock of his hair accompanied by the fact that his friend(?) was currently fighting for his fucking life, Kuraima was in a daze after having lost his lunch, both figurative and literally.
Freed lashed out at Issei, kicking him in the stomach and sending him spiraling to the ground. "I'm getting tired, you weak-ass lil' shit! How about actually being worth the effort?"
He moved in to finish off the reincarnated Devil only for someone to step in!
"P-Please stop, Mister Freed!" Asia yelled, stepping in between predator and prey.
"A-Asia?!"
"Move it, Nunny girl! That there kid's a devil! The antithesis of our kind!"
A rather long pause of silence ensued.
Oh yeah, that's right. Asia wasn't aware of Issei's current state.
She shook her head. "B-But Hyoudou-san could never be a devil! H...He's too nice a person!"
"But that's where they get ya! Devils are tricky little fucks! Of course, I'm a man of god, so I get a free pass!"
"Mister Freed…."
Freed then sighed. "Look, nun! You don't want to get caught up with the likes of him again! Remember what happened last time?!"
"Ah...I…."
"Wh...What are you talking about?" Issei asked as he tried to push himself up off the ground, his legs trembling as he forced himself to stand.
"Oh, you didn't know? That's okay, you haven't progressed through her story that far, so I'll spoil it for you!"
"You see, little Asia was abandoned by her parents! A real shame! So the Church took her in and raised her. Turns out, she was blessed by God with her sacred schemacred gear thingy!"
"They revered her as a Holy Maiden™! But then one day a sneaky Devil pretended to be hurt! The naive little maiden healed him, and the Church realized that her so-called "blessing" was a totally indiscriminate sham! So they kicked her out, just to save face— and faith!"
"Grrr...shut up, you bastard!" Issei shouted at him, taking a step towards the ex-priest.
Freed just laughed at him. "Hah!" The madman grabbed Asia, wrapping one arm around her neck and using the other to hold his gun to her temple. "Just try it, you shitty hellspawn! You make one wrong move, I'll blow her brains out!"
The pervert found himself unable to move. No, he wouldn't…!
"Oooh, once I finish off the shitty devil, I might have a little fun~" The madman taunted, using the barrel of the gun to jiggle Asia's sizeable rack.
"Ggh...get your hands off of Asia-san...!"
"How about no?"
However, Freed was so focused on Issei that he'd forgotten a rather important detail.
And that detail was Kuraima.
The student in question was walking towards Freed's backside, a scowl on his face and a blade in hand.
He raised the weapon, an aura of red enveloping his body.
"WWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
The machete slammed into Freed's gun arm like an axe into wood, causing it to go limp and forcing him to drop his weapon and his hostage.
"GraaaaaaaAAAAAAAH! What the fuck?! Where the fuck did you…?!" Freed's eyes wandered for the answer, and he found it.
The dead body no longer had a blade impaled upon it.
"Yo ...You seriously did not just do what I think you did!"
"So what if I did?" Kuraima retorted. "I don't always think my actions through. My mind's actually clouded by an intense rage that I can't really comprehend right now, but at least David Attenborough's voice is here to give me a brief mental summary."
[Rage]
A strange thing, really. While not a power directly related to Astrum Deus, it's one that many individuals from the god's former home were able to harness. Perhaps [Stella Dominus] changes the user just as the user evolves the Sacred Gear?
Rage is built up through powerful emotion, through melee combat, or from taking damage.
Rage, when activated, increases the user's combat capabilities immensely. However, as the name suggests, using Rage fills the user with incredible anger and even arrogance. Strong emotions are one of the primary catalysts for Sacred Gear evolution and/or mutation.
Use this power sparingly.
Adrenaline
Adrenaline is a similar power to Rage. While naturally occurring in all life forms, this ability will allow Kuraima to take it to a whole new level. This form is separate from what is in the human body, taking the form of magical energy.
Adrenaline has the same abilities as Rage, however, it's built up through being in life-or-death situations or being present near an enemy that stands a strong chance of defeating Kuraima, also known as a "Boss Enemy."
The longer Kuraima goes without taking damage, the faster he will gain Adrenaline.
With its new powers, [Stella Dominus] had modified its appearance. Now it sported two small gemstones on either side of the main central orb. One, a bright orange, glowing with vengeful anger. The other, a dim blue-ish green color.
Kuraima yanked the bloody machete out of the mad exorcist's arm, throwing the madman to the ground and glaring at him with a stare that promised pain, and nothing more.
"The spanking of your ass shall be thorough and merciless."
Kuraima brought the bloody machete down upon Freed, only for the exorcist to roll out of the way. The blade hit the hardwood floor, leaving a gnarly gash when he pulled it back up.
'If that hits me, I'm done for!' Freed thought to himself, panicking internally. He drew his lightsaber as he got up off the ground, and moved to make his counterattack.
The two blades met, and so the two very different definitions of "madmen" looked at each other in the eyes.
"The fuck is your problem?! Are you really THAT worked up by some little sob story? Like, Jesus Christ, kiddo!"
"People like you are the reason why Reddit-using neckbeards convert to atheism."
"W-Whoa there pal! That's edgy!"
Out of the darkness, came a modulated voice. "Huh, Freed. Can you really not handle two highschoolers? Pathetic."
"S-Shut up!"
"Let me handle this."
Kuraima felt something grab his school uniform by the collar and yeet his ass across the room, where he slammed into Issei.
As the dust settles, a hand made of stone plates with joints made of an unknown glowing blue material made its way back to the cloaked figure's robes.
"Agh!" The Astral Student winced, his mind clearing itself of the fog of anger. "Issei, get your hand off my ass or I swear to Go-...Astrum that I will beat yours."
…
…
…
"Either way, no homo."
"Hey! I totally had him!"
"Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that, ya' fucking twat. We're leaving."
Freed sighed in defeat. "Ugh, fine." He turned to the two students. "This isn't over!"
The exorcist ran out the door, nearly slipping in Kuraima's puke puddle in the process.
"I'll be taking the Holy Maiden now." The figure said, looking over at the two students."
Issei got angry, shoving Kuraima aside to stand up. "Why...you bastard…!"
"Tomorrow night, at the abandoned church."
"...Huh?"
"That's as long as I can hold off the ritual for. That is when you can save Asia, ya hear?"
"Wait, what the hell? Why are you telling us this?"
"That's because it will be your last chance to even see her. There's only so much I can do against four Fallen Angels. Even now, they're on their way."
The two students looked at each other.
"Look, none of this was meant to happen. The Hyoudou kid wasn't even supposed to die. The order was to observe him because of his Sacred Gear."
"You mean…?!"
"That's right. Something funny's going on around here."
The distant sound of wings flapping could be heard.
"...That's your cue to leave. But I promise you, on my honor as a human being, Asia will be safe in my hands."
The threat of enemy reinforcements was enough to send the two students packing.
"Uwa...w-who are you…?" Asia sniffled, looking up at the cloaked figure.
"Don't worry about it. But for now, just call me Noxus."
The Desert Scourge crossed her arms, leaning against the couch where Kuraima was sulking. "What's the matter, Astrum boy?"
"I...I've roped myself into a situation that's spiraled horribly out of control."
"Ohoh? You have?" She took a seat next to him, holding a steaming hot bowl full of 5-minute rice that was absurdly oversalted. "Please, do tell me about it."
The Astral student then proceeded to vent about the downs of today's events. From his stomach cramps to meeting with Freed and the mysterious interloper.
"I nearly chopped that fucker's arm off. And you know the worst part? I didn't feel a thing. I'm ...I'm actually kinda scared, y'know? I'm starting to not...feel like myself. I've gotten caught up in a border dispute between two supernatural factions and...ugh, I feel like my social anxiety just got back from vacation."
The Scourge smirked. "Heh, really?" She leaned over, putting a thin wiry arm over his shoulder. "Listen, wormy. Before last night, I was in a much, much worse position than you. Nothing more than the urge to eat human flesh. When you went on that tangent about how human meat wasn't sustainable diet, my mind kinda just...crashed, you know?"
"Oh, 'Kinda', huh?"
"Heh, you got me there~. Okay, fine. I got straight up mindfucked. But that's besides the point. I can't really blame you, this Sellzan guy had it coming. So did my little goon friend whom you stabbed to death."
"Oh, we still going on about that?"
"Might as well make a running gag about it. The human mind is a weird thing, isn't it? Able to make light of horrendous tragedies. Then again, I'm not really in a position to be giving you some serious mental help advice. But I what I can say is that you'll just have to get better. Nip the problem in the bud and learn how to control this new ability you've unlocked before you can turn it against the wrong person."
"Hah ...I guess you're right. I really needed the pep talk."
"Attaboy! Now, if that guy's testimony was true, then you've got a maiden to save tomorrow. Buckle up, Kuraima-san. Things are about to get wild!"
…
…
…
"Hey, uh...you planning to keep that bloody machete?"
Kuraima shrugged."I dunno."
"Ugh! What the actual fuck?! I think that kid gave me motherfuckin' hyper AIDS!" Freed complained to everyone in particular. "My skin's turning green for fuck's sake!"
"Serves ya' right, honestly." Noxus shrugged. "I didn't believe it myself, but vomit comet accidentally dropped that machete in the Land of The Lost Lunches before he tried to chop you with it. Honestly, that's significantly more pleasant than the thought that this voice changer is covered in some icky substance that I'm pretty sure is a few genetic mutations away from becoming Black Mold. That, and the idea of living with my sister."
"Oooh, you have a sister? Do tell!"
"I'd rather not. Listen, Freed, if I didn't want to live with my sister, who is in fact, a fucking millionaire, instead choosing a life of poverty…"
"...Okay, you make a good point."
—
Author's notes
I kinda let myself go on this one, as I just kinda gave up on giving Kuraima a consistent personality. Then again, when has Kuraima ever had a consistent personality?
But then a person on the literature channel on the Calamity Art Discord posted some advice and then I felt better about myself.
I'm not gonna be perfect, y'know. But there are people out there who like this story, and that's what matters.
At least, that's what I say, as I continue to not release another chapter for one of my most popular fanfictions, aka Red Alert 3: Blue Steel. I'm telling you, the next chapter exists, just...being written at a horribly slow pace.
That being said, I'm still looking for advice on how to improve— can only do so much.
Anyways, Nyke makes his return to forge the fires of bromance! Kuraima meets a waitress whose in-depth description can mean only one thing— she'll be important later on!
For those of you not in the know, as far as I know, Noxus is an upcoming superboss that may be added in a future update.
Noxus at one point was known as Goozma, the planned superboss variant of the Slime God before they decided to make him into a new thing entirely. At least, I think they are. I haven't quite found any official lore...if there is any.