Author's notes
FINALLLYYY, We're getting to the Holy Swords arc!
Isaacbloodstorm1 - I don't know, but he was really going through it at the time.
"So…you're saying that this person…is physically a one-to-one perfect match to Demiurge from the anime/manga series Overlord?"
Right now, Kuraima was in the school office of Sona Sitri, discussing the person who had attacked his beloved underlings. Mainly because Rias and her peerage had yet to return from their fight with that phoenix guy.
"Yeah. And from what I'm told, he has shapeshifting abilities. Just like the guy in the show. I think."
Sona just stared at him blankly, causing him to avert his gaze.
"If I knew anything else I'd tell you. Dude didn't even drop a name. Speaking of which," The Astral champion pulled out a piece of paper with the drawing of some kind of sigil. "I don't know how the hell she pulled it off, but Perfa managed to draw out the magic circle he created when he teleported away."
"Such penmanship…and this was only done with a red crayon…" Sona murmured to herself, "…I'll have to invoke my authority as a Devil to ensure that this 'Perfa' does not fall into the hands of the Manga Club…"
"Okay, now that's a scary thought."
The student council president flinched. "Gh! Did I really say that out loud?"
"….Yeah? Look, I don't think she'd actually join because, well, 'I'm da boss', so chances are she'd ask me first as like. Buuuut on the off chance that she doesn't….yeah. Give me some names and I'll take care of the rest."
"You're really taking the whole 'mob boss' thing seriously, aren't you? Sound's a little menacing when you put it that way."
Kuraima sighed, shrugging. "Well, I mean, it's not like I have a choice in the manner when a goddess dictates the peace treaty."
"…Fair enough. Here you go." Sona shrugged in return before handing him a piece of paper with the names of suspected manga club members.
"Thanks! Now let's get this conversation back on track."
"Ah, right. Tracking down a Devil via their magical circle…it's probable. We can definitely try, but chances are that we won't find anything."
Kuraima just shrugged again. "It's better than nothing."
"True. I'll see what I can do." She handed him another piece of paper. "Here's my number. I'll text or call you if I find anything."
"Thanks, Sona. I owe you one— for real." He thanked her, idly noticing that one of the council members— Saji, if he recalled correctly, was giving him the stink eye. "Anything short of me or my group joining your peerage, that is. In fact, if your group needs some training buddies, just ask. That favor's on the house."
"I appreciate it. By the way, do you play Chess, by any chance?"
"Sorry, more of a checkers kinda guy." Glancing over at Saji, Kuraima noticed that the boy's glare had softened but still held minor resentment.
"Ah, I understand."
"I'm not opposed to other forms of tabletop gaming, though. Me 'n Champ are bootlegging Warhammer minis, if you're interested."
"….I'll keep that in mind."
Kuraima looked outwards from the gate of Kuoh Acadamy, stretching and yawning.
He took in the sounds of birds chirping, fellow students chatting, and the distant sounds of the other two members of the Perverted Trio™ screaming for their lives after yet another botched attempt at peeping on the Kendo Club.
'Man, we're really starting to pop up on radars, huh?' He thought to himself. The fact that some foreign cosplayer had showed up to whoop his gang's asses in search of him was…very concerning.
'What the hell did I even do to deserve that? Why did his power seem…awfully familiar?'
He paused for a moment, trying to organize his thoughts.
'Okay, so there's the whole thing about how Juniper isn't telling me about how the hell she knows about Astrum Deus…'
…he took a moment to facepalm when he realized that he could've asked her just the other day and instead decided to loredump about the Imperium of Man to Champ. But instead of mulling over it, he decided to refocus his thoughts.
'Then there's the fact that some asshole just wiped the floor with my gangsters…'
…
'Is there anything else I should be worried about? What's Issei up to, I wonder?'
Issei stood there in the doorway to the great hall which held Rias Gremory's wedding ceremony. Around him, his fellow peerage members fended off the guards trying to apprehend him for his party-crashing antics.
"And what, pray tell, are you doing here?" Phenex Riser asked.
For a moment, Issei stood there silent, before breathing in, and letting his mind speak freely.
"The President's— that is, Rias Gremory-sama's virginity…IS MINE!"
…Okay, maybe a little TOO freely.
The student shrugged to himself, sighing. 'He's probably doing something stupid right now.'
He pulled out his phone, looking through some reminders he'd written down for himself.
'Ah, gotta pick up some of those cream puffs from Sola-san's workplace for Mochi…'
…
'Aha! Juniper-san works at the same cafe! I can just ask her about Astrum Deus there!'
As Kuraima approached the Moonlit Cafe's front door, he noticed a sign taped to it.
Due to upcoming personal matters, this place will be closing for a few days after today…
'Ah. Shame. Good thing I came here on time!'
The owner of the Moonlit Cafe just shrugged. "Oh, Juniper? Today's her day off. Family stuff."
If this were an anime, Kuraima probably would've just faceplanted straight into the floor.
"…Oh…then I'll just take the cream puff box set to go."
"Coming right up!"
Kuraima sat down at one of the nearby tables, feeling a bit annoyed.
He completely forgot his annoyance when noticed a newly released volume of the cafe's self-published Light Novel, Chronicles of Halcyone, sitting in the nearby reading area.
'Oh hell yeah!'
While he was busy catching up on the Hell's Walker arc, a black-haired waitress walked up to him with his order.
As he accepted it, their eyes met for a moment.
"…Have we met before?"
"…N-No."
"…Yeah, sorry. I thought I recognized you from somewhere, but I think I'm mistaken."
As the waitress left, Kuraima idly wondered why he felt a brief pain in his midsection, but quickly wrote it off as it didn't last long enough to concern him.
…if only he could see the waitress trying to hide her mixture of humiliation and contempt as she walked away.
"Honey, I'm hoooome!" Kuraima jokingly called out as he entered through the front door of his house. Mochi, in her Wyrm form, excitedly slithered up to him, purring quite loudly.
"O-Oh! U-Uh, welcome home. I guess…" Champ had been sitting on the couch as usual, typing away on her personal laptop when the Astral Student's sudden antics had caught her off guard.
'She's so easy to rile up. So much for that so-called ice queen persona.'
"Anythin' of interest happen while I was out?" Kuraima asked as he bent down to let Mochi slither up his arm and coil around his neck like some kind of living scarf.
"No, not really." The former mob boss spoke, having finally managed to Rein in (most) of her flustered mannerisms.
"How're the gangsters doing after, well…?"
"They're pretty riled up."
"I'd be surprised if they weren't. Had to postpone that cookout because everyone was so worn out even after Helenski healed them all."
Kuraima glanced over at one of the nearby slime maids, who was approaching with a can of root beer— one which he graciously accepted.
"I already kinda owe them one, buuut if Rias and the others don't come back soon I might have to ask Sitri-senpai if she's willing to be training partners. Would be good to get some experience against actual supernaturals."
The former mob boss gave the can of root beer a worried side-glance. "…Yeah. That makes sense."
As the conversation died down and while Champ refocused on her laptop, Kuraima idly stared at her for a bit. 'I could reach over and give her a pat on the head if I wanted to right now…'
'…Or…' He looked over at the nearby slime maid, who had returned to sweeping the floors. '…Just one wouldn't hurt…'
He reached over, hand outstretched as the red slimegirl noticed him, her head tilting in curiosity.
Plop.
Hand met firm, gelatinous scalp.
…it was absolutely worth the slight burning sensation as the slimegirl instinctively started to cleanse his hand of the day's built up impurities.
"…Kuraima. What are you doing…?"
He froze, realizing that Champ was watching. His head turned with such slowness that one would expect it to be accompanied by the sound of grinding stone.
"What does it look like?" He deadpanned.
…
…
…
"…R-Right." Champ decided not to press further.
Kuraima, in the meantime, quickly pulled his hand away, waving it around as if he'd just put it on a hot stovetop.
Looking at his palm, he saw the palm of his hand had been stripped raw. Not even calluses remained.
…yeah. Still worth it.
'Vertical slash.'
Once again, Kuraima was in his fenced-in backyard, practicing his swordsmanship.
'Horizontal.'
He was simply going through the basics that Kiba had taught him.
'Thrust.'
Fear not the man who practiced a hundred moves, but the one who practiced one move a hundred times— or something like that.
Kuraima wasn't sure how the quote went, but he figured that was close enough.
Didn't matter to him too much though, as much as he wanted to stave off the ever-looming existential dread that comes with…well, certain events that happened after his introduction into the supernatural, there was obviously no way in hell he was gonna live long enough to become that one guy who practiced a single slash so many times it—
His mindless internal ramblings were brought to a screeching halt as he suddenly registered an uncomfortable resistance in the movement of his sword.
Snapping back to reality, he saw that he'd accidentally bisected a certain red slime maid. It was by no means a perfect cut, but a full slice down the middle. One half drooped to the side, a cute smile still on its face. "Oh, fuck! You good? I-I didn't mean to-" He began to apologize before the reality of the situation caught up to him…in the form of the split halves of the slimegirl both formed new halves, turning into much shorter carbon copies of their previous form. "..oh…right."
The now-two slime maids stared at him innocently, tilting their heads in opposite directions.
"…I only gave you one pat on the head. What're you doin' out here?"
No real response.
"…am I really that dirty that you wanna clean me? No offense but after what you did to my hand, I kind of don't want my whole body to feel like that."
…
"Are you trying to flirt with me somehow? I mean you ARE cute n' all and the maid outfit and monster girl combo is a definite plus but I'm like…already taken."
…
"…You wanna train with me?"
That finally got a reaction.
Kuraima readied his sword, entering a combat stance. "Aight, cool. Let's do it."
When Helenski opened the back door an half-an-hour later, she was greeted by the sight of Kuraima rolling on the ground laughing uncontrollably as he was being crowded by dozens upon dozens of miniature chibi-fied red slime maids.
"Nooooo! Stop! Stop! That's ch-cheating! Hahahahaha!"
Mochi was also there, in her human form, half-heartedly imitating his movements with her usual expressionless face.
Sensing Helenski's presence, she suddenly shot up and pointed at the shortstack.
"Bird lady is here."
The chibi slimes stopped what they were doing and scattered off of Kuraima, grouping back up to revert to their normal, life-sized form.
Kuraima on the other hand, was absolutely mortified at having been caught in such a state.
And so now here he was, anxiously sitting on the couch. His mind, tired after such exhaustive 'training', began to race.
Champ wasn't present anymore, having retreated to the spare room that she had claimed as her own.
'Oh god no! Please don't turn out like how it does in the anime! Helenski's a bit clingy when the Dryad's around, so god knows how she'll act!'
'Wait, does getting tickled by slimes count as fooling around? Wait, no! Of course not! Helenski would never assume that!"
"…Ku-san. S…Starting tomorrow, I'll be staying here f-for the next few days. D-Dad is going out of town…"
Kuraima was snapped out of his thoughts. "O-Oh! For real? Can I ask why?"
Helenski fidgeted a bit. "He says it's…p-personal business. H-He told me that if anything h-happens…that we should be able to take care of it ourselves…"
Kuraima nodded, "Ah, yeah, that's right! I remember seeing a sign that said something like that on the front…door…" he trailed off before doing a double take.
"Hold on. What? We?"
Helenski shrugged. "T-That's what he said. He h-has always been the t-type to…not intervene i-if he thinks I c-can do it on my own…"
"…I really didn't like the phrasing on that. We?"
"…"
Kuraima put a hand on his forehead, sighing.
"It's always one after the other…it hasn't even been a day since that devil attacked us! And now we're being told to buckle in for another big mess! Please…give me a break…"
He began to sulk, staring down at the rather clean floor.
Pat pat.
"…Thanks, Helenski. I really needed that."
"…T-That wasn't me, Ku-san…"
He looked up. Who the hell was patting him on the head?
He looked over his shoulder before turning his body to look behind the couch, where the red slime maid from before was now returning the gesture he'd made much earlier.
"…Oh, you're trying to cheer me up too?"
The maid just warbled and chirped before pulling her hand away, doing a rather cute curtsey, and wandered off.
…Then Helenski began to giggle.
"Hey! What's so funny?!"
"K-Ku-san! Your hair!"
"What? What about it?"
Helenski pointed to one of the decorated wall-mounted mirrors.
And that's when he saw it;
Turns out that where the slime maid had touched, she had inadvertently destroyed all the melanin in his hair, leaving a gray handprint on his scalp.
"OH MY GOD!"
Kuraima's reaction sent Helenski over the edge as she began to laugh uncontrollably.
In the end, she decided that she wasn't gonna bring up the slime girl incident she'd witnessed in the backyard. She'd thought the scene of him rolling around on the ground like that was weirdly cute though.
The very next day…
"You smell like hair dye."
As the two were standing in front of Issei's house of all places, Kuraima just gave Koneko an exasperated look. "We haven't talked for nearly a week and a half and that's how you greet me?"
The short girl just stared at him and half-heartedly shrugged.
Turns out that Helenski's healing power didn't actually do much to restore one's natural hair color. The girl in question just looked away shyly, twiddling her thumbs.
"…Welllll I was gonna give you some candy imported from America as thanks for helping me out that one time…" Kuraima began to turn away, "…But it looks like I'll be keeping it for myself."
"You smell very nice today, Kuraima-senpai."
The third year student's face took on quite a funny look as he turned back towards her. Helenski just pouted, gripping Kuraima's arm. "…Please never say that to me again." He sighed with a defeated smile as he materialized a rather large bag of Skittles from his Inventory into his other hand.
For a brief moment, a sense of wonder and curiosity pierced through Koneko's usual deadpan demeanor, her eyes sparkling. She quickly recomposed herself and snatched the party-sized bag right out of his hands.
"…Thank you."
"Hey! What kind of friend would I be if I didn't repay a favor or two?"
"…Kuraima-Senpai is a good friend." Koneko once again in her usual deadpan.
"Oho~ Seems like someone's here early~!"
The Astral Student looked up to see Akeno and Kiba approaching. Now, to address an earlier statement; Why were they meeting at Issei's house?
Simple, really; The club room was undergoing some cleanups.
Knowing the supernatural, Kuraima was a little skeptical of that statement. If Matilda alone could renovate an entire room AND install a hot tub into it in just a few hours…then…how long would a "clean-up" take that they would rather meet at Issei's house in the morning?
He decided not to question it any further.
As they entered, Issei's mother eagerly greeted them.
"Ohh! You must be Issei-kun's friends! To think he made so many in such a short time~!" She looked over at Kuraima. "Ah, you must be Kuraima-san! Asia speaks quite highly of you!"
"O-Oh, she does?" He awkwardly replied, scratching the back of his head.
"Yes! It's nice to see Issei finally make some male friends who aren't a bad influence!"
Issei visibly flinched, as if her words had a physical impact like when a comic or manga has a character getting impaled by someone else's speech bubble.
"Oh...hehe…Honestly, I don't think I-I'm helping that much…"
"Nonsense! Ever since you two became friends, our little Issei-kun has been coming home with beauties! We'd never thought he'd land a girl in our lifetimes, let alone two~! There's still hope for our little boy's future!"
Kuraima paused. Did Issei's mom really think he was her son's wingman?!
"Ahah! You're, uhm…uh…giving me too much praise…"
"Nonsense! You should be more proud of yourself! Now, if you excuse me, I've got snacks in the kitchen for all of you~!"
As she walked away, Kuraima let out a sigh of relief.
A few minutes later after eating their snacks, the group was, well, still in Issei's living room.
Only this time, Issei's mother was passing around albums of her son's baby/childhood pictures.
At first, he reveled in the schadenfreude of Issei's torment, but now the second-hand embarrassment was starting to get to him.
"…Issei-senpai's raw and uncut past."
Even the usually expressionless Koneko couldn't stop a small 'pffft' of amusement from escaping her lips as she gazed upon a picture of a very young Issei next to a rather finely crafted sand sculpture of breasts.
…Although maybe the half-emptied party-sized bag of Skittles was influencing her behavior as she was also just lying prone on the floor, looking through the albums with her legs up in the air like some kind of cheeky schoolgirl. Then she half-heartedly rolled onto her back, let out a small giggle of all things and reached into the bag with the purpose of shoveling another handful of the excessively sugary American candy into her mouth.
"Ku-san…" Helenski began with a disappointed tone. The third-year raised his hands up defensively, "Hey! I honestly didn't think she'd go through it that fast!"
On the other side of the room, Rias Gremory had dropped the whole elegant act and was fawning over another album like a scientist who'd just been driven into obsessive madness by eldritch knowledge.
Kuraima wasn't close enough to see what she was looking at, but whatever it was, Asia's eyes glistened as they quickly agreed to enjoy those photos together.
Looking over, Kuraima could see Issei trying to get Kiba to stop looking through another album, and watched in amazement as the blonde swordsman jumped over Issei's attempt to lightly punch him.
Dude had UPs.
However, Kiba then turned the page, and his face darkened.
Out of curiosity, Kuraima walked over to see what was happening.
The blondie was staring intently at a picture of a much younger version of the brown-haired pervert posing with another person of the same age.
"Oh, that!" Issei suddenly perked up, "That was me with my childhood friend! We used to play superheroes all the time!"
"Used to?" Kuraima asked.
"Yeah…he and his family moved to Europe when I was young…"
"Oh."
"And what do you know of this?" Kiba asked, pointing at a sheathed sword hanging on the wall.
Issei tilted his head, thinking. "Oh, that?…It doesn't really ring any bells. It's been too long…"
A dark expression overcame Kiba's face.
"Because…that right there is a holy sword."
The three went silent at this revelation.
…
…
…
In the meantime, Koneko was now absolutely zooted through the roof on a sugar high, sliding past them on the floor as a soft "nyoooom" left her mouth before she started to roll around in her own version of the zoomies.