He had failed.
By the time Cloud had come to—lying in the middle of the dirt road—there was no one in sight. Whoever had attacked him was long gone, the Materia with them. Even so, he'd spent the next hour frantically searching the nearby streets for any signs of where they might have gone, even going as far as knocking on the doors of some of the houses that still had lights on to see if they'd seen or heard anything.
No one had helped him.
He couldn't believe how unlucky he'd been. What were the odds that the one night when he had something of priceless value, something that could have saved his mother, he would happen to run into a thief? It was like some kind of twisted joke—fate declaring that even after everything he'd done, how close he'd gotten, it still wasn't enough. In the end, he'd been forced to return to the clinic, empty-handed with a scream bottled up inside him struggling to break free.
He'd been sitting here ever since, curled up in a chair in the room they'd put his mother in, listening to the sound of the silence broken only by the machine next to her bed. The constant beeping sounded like a timer, counting down the remainder of her life, although the nurses had assured him that wasn't the case. Apparently, the beeps were a good thing, a sign that her heart was still beating even if she couldn't wake up.
Cloud's eyes remained on the floor. It was too painful to look at his mom lying motionless in the oversized hospital bed. A large tube was connected to her mouth to help her breathe, a needle in her arm was supposedly helping keep her alive, and dozens of wires disappeared under the robe she was wearing. Those were what the machines were connected to a nurse had said, allowing them to monitor her condition—such as the beat of her heart.
That noise was driving him crazy. Everything about it was wrong. He knew the real sound of her heartbeat from when she hugged him or held him close and it was a warm, comforting rhythm, not a cold mechanical noise. Why was this happening? The doctor had said only a small number of people had come down with this new sickness, so why did his mom have to be one of them? She'd done nothing wrong. It wasn't fair.
The beeps changed, immediately catching his attention as they became slightly faster, the sound a bit louder. He didn't know what that meant—if it was a good thing or bad. Was she waking up? The whole time he'd been waiting in the room the noise had been exactly the same, regular and steady. The pace picked up even more and a red light began flashing on the wall next to her bed. That Cloud understood—red was universally bad.
Jumping to his feet, he rushed to the door, throwing it open. "Help!" he screamed. "Something's wrong!"
A nurse immediately appeared around the corner at the end of the hall, running towards him. "What happened?"
"Her machine, it's beeping faster."
The nurse sped up, a look of alarm on her face that sent a tremor rocking through him. Reaching the room, she pushed past him and moved to stand next to the bed where she examined the various monitors while simultaneously pressing her fingers against his mother's neck. "She's in v-tach, I'm calling a code."
Cloud had no idea what that meant, but from the somber tone of her voice, he could tell it wasn't good. He watched as the nurse hit a button on the wall before adjusting the bed so it was completely flat instead of propped up. She then placed her hands on top of each other over his mother's chest and began pushing her down into the bed repeatedly. His first reaction was to leap forward and rip her away, but he barely managed to restrain himself. Whatever she was doing he had to trust that it was helping, even if it didn't look that way at all.
A few moments later the doors behind him crashed open, causing him to jump out of the way as a small cart pushed by two more nurses and a doctor in a white coat came barreling through.
The doctor broke off from the cart while the nurses began pulling various things off of it, moving to the opposite side of his mom's bed from where the first nurse was. "Pulseless v-tach, let's get ready to shock," she called out after a quick scan of the monitors.
"Yes, doctor." One of the two new nurses brought over a pair of pads, connected with cables back to the cart.
The doctor took them from him, one in each hand. "Everyone get clear."
As one, the two nurses by the bed stepped back. The doctor pressed the pads to his mother's chest and a split second later there was a loud thump before her body jumped, jolting the bed.
"Her heart rate is still rising, it's over two hundred."
"We're going again," the doctor said firmly. "Clear."
She pressed the pads down a second time and once again his mother's body jerked. This time the machine stopped beeping at all in response, a steady, unbroken note taking its place. Cloud's heart was pounding in his chest as he watched, frozen in terror.
"Asystole," the first nurse announced, shaking her head.
"Resume compressions," the doctor instructed. "We need a shockable pulse. Adjust the ventilator for rescue breaths."
Once again, the nurse placed her hands over his mother and began pushing her down into the bed. Off to the side, another one of the nurses was fiddling with the machine that was connected to the breathing tube. Little specks of light began to flicker in front of Cloud's eyes as he took rapid breath after breath, his head pounding. For some reason, he felt like he was burning up as if he'd been outside under the blazing sun, even though just a moment ago the air-conditioned room had felt too cold.
"Pause. Let me check for a pulse."
The nurse stopped and the doctor placed her hands on his mom's neck. Cloud was starting to have difficulty making out what was happening as the specks grew even larger, reminding him of looking up at the sky with Aerith at night except that these ones were much, much closer.
"Nothing. Let's try again."
If anyone else said anything in response, Cloud didn't hear it as a static droning filled his ears, drowning out even the steady scream of the machines. The stars rapidly overwhelmed his entire vision and he felt like he was falling into outer space until everything abruptly went pitch black.
When Cloud woke up, he was comfortable and warm. He'd had the worst nightmare, except as he rubbed his eyes open, he realized he wasn't at home and this was a hospital bed, exactly like the one his mom had been in. Scrambling out of it as quickly as he could, he was relieved to note there were no needles or anything unusual attached to him. Heart racing, he looked around, trying to figure out what had happened.
A faint trickle of sunlight was filtering through the blinds over the window so he must have been asleep for a while. He wasn't entirely sure what had happened or why he was here. The last thing he could remember was—
Sprinting to the door, he threw it open, only to find a startled nurse holding a tray on the other side.
"Ah, you're awake," she said. "That's good, we were worried after you fainted. I've got some breakfast if you're feeling up for it."
He'd fainted? "What happened to my mom?" Cloud demanded. "Where is she?"
The nurse's face fell instantly. "Oh. Why don't you come sit down and we can talk while you eat," she said, stepping past him into the room.
He didn't want to sit down. "Just tell me what happened," he demanded, turning to face her. "The last thing I remember was the machine was making a steady noise instead of beeping."
Setting the tray down on the bed, the nurse bit her lip before walking back over to join him and dropping down so her face was level with his. "The machine making a constant noise like that is called a flatline, it happens when the patient's heart stops beating. Sometimes when that happens we're able to get it to start back up, but . . . but we were unable to do that last night." She trailed off as she finished, her eyes drifting to the floor.
A numb coldness spread over Cloud, creeping down from his head to his toes. Some part of him had already known from the moment he'd woken up, but the nurse's words confirmed it. His mom was gone.
And it was all his fault.
He'd had the Materia that would have saved her, all he'd needed to do was pay more attention to where he was going and then he never would have lost it in the first place. He would have been able to use it to wake her up, see her smile again, and then they would have left the clinic and gone back home together. It took all of his effort not to break down and cry, but he didn't want to let the nurse see him like that.
"Do you have a relative you'd like us to contact for you?"
Cloud shook his head. There wasn't anyone else. He was all alone now.
"I see. Well, for now, you should get some food in you. I'll go let the doctor know you're awake and we can come up with a plan for what to do next. Okay?"
He nodded, although he didn't like the sound of that final part. The last thing he wanted was for them to try and take him away from his home. It didn't matter if he was alone now, it was still his and he wanted to stay there, no matter what. The nurse was right about one thing though—he was starving. Moving over to the bed as she quietly left the room, he saw that the food was a chunk of bread and a bowl of oatmeal. There were no berries, of course, and it was a struggle to swallow the bland mush now that he knew how much better it could be.
Cloud forced himself to eat it all. It wasn't worth complaining about the meal, not when this was what he'd have to get used to again for the rest of his life. Finishing it off with the last of the water, he debated what to do next. Waiting for the nurse to return with a doctor still felt like a bad decision. There was nothing more they'd be able to do to help him, and plenty they could do to make his life harder. He wasn't sure what happened to kids without parents, but he imagined it wasn't anything good.
No, it was time to get out of this horrible place. Cloud cautiously took a step to the door and poked his head outside. No one was in sight. Remembering a lesson Sephiroth had taught the Fangs a while back, he made sure to calmly walk down the hallway in the direction of the exit sign—running would only draw more attention. A nurse he hadn't seen before emerged from one of the rooms ahead, but the man didn't give Cloud a second look before passing him in the opposite direction.
His stomach was twisted into a knot by the time he made it to the lobby. He'd passed several more people on the way, one of whom had stopped to ask if he was lost. Thankfully, they'd left him alone once he'd reassured them he wasn't. With the door to the outside now in view, it was an effort for him not to run directly for it. The adults in charge of checking people in definitely knew him after everything that had happened, so he needed to somehow avoid their attention. Or just make a run for it and hope.
Before he could make a decision on which option would work best, the doors swung open and a large man hurried inside, making his way over to the front desk where he began waving his arms and talking in a loud voice that wasn't a shout but clearly wanted to be. Glad for the distraction, Cloud quickly made his way across the room and was outside before anyone could call after him. The accompanying blast of heat from the sun took him by surprise as the door swung shut behind him. Because of all the time he'd spent either across the Barrier, indoors, or outside only at nighttime, it had been a while since he'd last felt the full force of the oppressive heat.
It was just one more thing he'd have to get used to again, now that the Ancients would no longer welcome him back to their forests and the peaceful calm of their shade. Pushing that thought to the back of his mind, he turned down the street that led back home and settled into a light jog, eager to get back inside. Before long, his house came into view and he put on one final burst of speed, arriving with sweat pouring down his face.
The plant Aerith had given him was still sitting outside, next to the front door where he'd left it in a panic after finding his mother. While it wasn't as valuable as the Materia, it was still something unique, something no one around here should be familiar with. Why couldn't they have stolen it instead? He immediately regretted the thought. The plant was his last remaining connection to Aerith. From what she'd taught him, he could tell the soil was dry and that the plant likely needed water—unsurprising considering how different it was on this side of the Barrier.
Grabbing it, Cloud carried the plant inside, locking the door behind him. He left the lights off, the small amount of sunlight filtering in through the window enough to allow him to see. Before doing anything else, he carefully placed the plant on the ground by the window where it could get some sun and went into the kitchen to fill a glass with water. Once it was watered and hopefully happier, he dropped into a chair at the dinner table to think.
What was he supposed to do now? He'd managed to make it back home without any adults insisting that he needed supervision, and while he thought he could take care of himself just fine, there were things he wasn't used to having to worry about. Like how he was supposed to get food, or pay the bills, or any of the countless other things he was sure his mom had taken care of.
Cloud had done his best not to think of it before, but now it was impossible to ignore—his mom was gone. She would never again wake him up in the morning and send him off to play with a kiss, or welcome him back home and say that dinner would be ready soon. He'd never see her smile, hear her laugh, cry, or even be scolded for staying out too late with his friends.
The emotions he'd bottled up deep inside swelled and overflowed, tears pouring down his cheeks as he sobbed loudly. Just a week ago his mom had been fine, cheerful, and happy and now she was . . . she was dead. The nurse hadn't used that word and he hadn't allowed himself to think of it like that, but it was the horrible reality.
Stumbling to his feet, Cloud made his way not to his own room, but to his mom's, dropping down onto her bed and curling up into a ball with his arms wrapped around her pillow. He buried his face into it and screamed, pouring all of his sorrow and anger into it. Once his throat was too sore to continue, he stopped, taking deep breaths of air as his body went limp. It wasn't long before his built-up exhaustion overwhelmed him and he surrendered to the welcome oblivion of sleep.
"We interrupt this regular broadcast with a special announcement from your President."
Cloud stared numbly at the television as he sucked on his hard chunk of bread. He'd turned it on out of habit but hadn't really been paying much attention to it until the mention of the President.
"People of Midgar!" the President boomed, a wide smile on his face. "Today is a wonderful day, a glorious day. A day we have been looking forward to for a very, very long time."
Today certainly wasn't glorious, not to Cloud. It was too much effort to reach for the controller to turn the television off though, so he continued to watch as he ate.
"As you are all well aware, the Ancients have trapped us here for generations, laughing at our suffering. We at Shinra have been doing everything in our power to fix this unjust situation, to make things right so that we can once again have access to the Promised Land. I'm proud to announce that today is our first big step towards that long-awaited goal."
The camera shifted off of the President and over to a familiar figure wearing a white lab coat off to his side. Cloud's bread thunked down onto the table as it fell out of his hand, teetering on the edge before dropping to the ground and rolling under his chair.
Held aloft in Hojo's hand was the Healing Materia.
"Thanks to the magnificent power of science, I have created an orb capable of shattering the cage that imprisons us!"
While it could have been a different Materia, Cloud knew that it wasn't. The odds that Sephiroth's father had somehow managed to create a Materia at the exact same time he'd brought one across the Barrier and had it stolen were laughable. No, the far easier explanation was that he was lying and had been involved in the theft. And that meant he was responsible for the death of Cloud's mom.
Before he was fully aware of it, Cloud was through the front door, the chair he'd been sitting in clattering to the floor behind him. Hojo had used him—while knowing that his mother's life had been on the line. Cloud could never forgive that. Charging through the streets, he couldn't get the image of Hojo's smug face as he held the Materia over his head out of his mind. His body was vibrating with anger as he ran and ran.
The old playground didn't take long to reach. Zack, Tifa, and Sephiroth were already there, but instead of joining them, he went directly to the slide where their weapons were piled up. Tifa called out to him, but he ignored her, grabbing one of the wooden swords before marching towards Sephiroth. "This is all your fault!" he screamed, all of his pent-up anger rushing out of him in a torrent of blind hatred.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Sephiroth said. The other boy looked back at him emotionlessly which only stoked the fires of Cloud's anger even further.
"You liar. You told your dad everything and then helped him steal the Materia from me!"
"Whoa, calm down there, Cloud," Zack said, tossing him a puzzled smile. "What's this all about?"
"Stay out of this, Zack," he snapped, gripping the hilt of the sword with both of his hands as he kept his attention fixed on Sephiroth.
One of Sephiroth's eyebrows rose. "Yes, I told my father some of what you told me and you seemed pretty glad of that yesterday when we offered you help. As for stealing something . . . What proof do you have?"
"The fact your father showed it on television is all the proof I need! How else would he have gotten it?"
"By creating it? Honestly, Cloud, he's been working on that project for years. I don't know what was stolen from you, but I certainly wasn't involved."
A flicker of doubt passed through him, but Cloud shoved it down. "Lies," he said, swinging the sword with all his might.
"Cloud, no!" Tifa shouted.
Sephiroth cleanly stepped to the side, avoiding the attack with annoying ease. A flash of irritation crossed his face. "If you attack me again you're going to regret it."
Cloud didn't care. He knew Sephiroth had to be at fault. Regaining his balance, he swung again.
And nearly dropped his weapon as Sephiroth parried the blow with his own sword.
"Wait . . . what? Is this really happening?" Zack asked. "What's going on, Cloud?"
He was too focused on Sephiroth's sword to be able to reply, narrowly managing to block an attack as Sephiroth flowed from defense to offense. Cloud knew the older boy was better than him with a sword, but he hadn't truly understood by just how much until this moment. As blow after blow rained down on him, he realized that in all of their training sessions together, Sephiroth had been holding back. A lot.
"Please you two, stop fighting!" Tifa begged from the side.
Cloud was entirely focused on defense at this point, unable to so much as think of doing anything else. Even so, he wasn't able to stop all of the blows that were raining down on him, and each one that got through made it harder to block the next. Sephiroth wasn't even breathing hard, a cold look of complete disinterest on his face. This wasn't going at all like how Cloud had pictured it in his head. He was supposed to confront Sephiroth and then punish him for what he'd done. He was the good guy and Sephiroth was the bad guy, so why was he losing?
A slash slipped through Cloud's guard and caught him heavily in the side, the force of the blow sending him tumbling to the ground and nearly knocking the wind from his lungs entirely. Spitting dirt out of his mouth, he glared up at Sephiroth. "I hate you."
"I really don't care. I am disappointed though. I thought I'd trained you better than this, but it looks like I was wrong if that's the best you can manage."
Cloud struggled to get to his feet, but a lightning-quick strike from Sephiroth knocked him back down to the ground before he was even halfway up.
"Stop it!" Tifa screamed, jumping between them.
"Whatever," Sephiroth muttered, turning away. "He's not worth it. Let's get back to planning for the next competition."
"You okay, buddy?" Zack asked, ignoring their leader and kneeling down next to Cloud before offering him a hand.
Brushing it aside, Cloud staggered to his feet on his own. "I don't need your pity, either of you!" he snapped. The looks on their faces hurt more than the bruises covering his body, but Cloud didn't care as he continued to lash out. "Neither of you even believed me in the first place, why pretend like you care now?"
Zack tilted his head to the side. "Believed you? Wait, is this still about you crossing the Barrier?"
"That's not fair, Cloud, and you know it," Tifa said, sounding hurt. "I know that things are hard right now with your mom still in the clinic, but—"
"She's dead." Saying it out loud felt like driving a sword through his heart.
Tifa's eyes snapped wide open, her hand jumping up to cover her mouth. Zack took a staggered step back, frowning.
"I'm done with all of you!" Cloud shouted, throwing his sword to the ground at his feet. "I quit the Fangs. Have fun with your stupid competitions."
"Cloud, wait!"
He didn't want to wait, didn't want to hear whatever else Tifa was going to say, not when she sounded so sad and he felt like he was about to burst into tears again. Turning away, he fled, running out of the park as fast as his legs could carry him. His side where Sephiroth had hit him ached as he ran, but he welcomed the pain—it was the least he deserved after everything he'd just said to his friends.
If they even still wanted to be his friends after what he'd just done.
They weren't the ones at fault in this situation and deep down, Cloud knew they'd only been trying to help. He'd just been so angry and the words had poured out of him before he could stop them. It wasn't possible to take them back, so all he could do now was wait and hope they might forgive him. Not that he deserved it.
Coming to a halt to catch his breath, he found himself at the gate leading out of the city. The normally posted guard was still absent for whatever reason, leaving him completely alone. That was good, he didn't want to be around anyone else right now. He turned to go back home before pausing, his eyes glued to the spot where he'd first seen Aerith all those days ago. He'd ruined everything over here, but maybe . . . maybe he could cross over one final time to apologize for what he'd done. Slowly walking over to the familiar spot, he reached out where he thought his hand had gotten stuck the other night.
It cleanly passed through the air without hitting anything solid.
Cloud clenched his fist tightly, his nails digging into the palm of his hand. Not giving up yet, he closed his eyes. "Please. Just once more, that's all I ask. Let me say I'm sorry," he whispered.
There was no response as the sun continued to beat down on him the same as always. Considering what he'd done, it wasn't too surprising the Barrier wouldn't let him through. He couldn't imagine Aerith and her parents would have forgiven him even if he had somehow been able to see them again, so maybe this was for the best. Crumpling to his knees he let out a bitter laugh. Not only had he failed to save his mother, he'd ruined his newfound friendship with Aerith, quit his gang, and likely destroyed his friendship with both Zack and Tifa—all in the span of a single day.
It was all someone as pathetic as him deserved.
I really hope this isn't catching anyone by surprise—right from the start of the story I was trying to hint at Claudia's impending death, although I imagine that doesn't make this chapter hurt any less. Cloud is pretty obviously in a really dark place right now, especially as he lashes out at those around him, but things can only mostly go up from here. In the background, Hojo and the President are beginning to set their plan into motion. Up next, we've got another mid-week update to introduce another new PoV before the grand conclusion to the childhood years arrives next week. I hope everyone is still enjoying the story and is looking forward to these last few chapters before the first time skip!
Next Chapter: Mako