Estimated Reading Time: 18 Minutes
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Boyz Chillin
Sonic was doing his daily run like always. He was excited to hang out with the boys later tonight, but he wouldn't tell that to their faces. Especially around Ness. That stupid motherfucker would never let him live it down.
He continued to run until he bumped into his most recent… Ex…
Sonic: "Oh, heya, Samus."
Samus: "H-hey."
Sonic: "So uh, things got pretty weird between us, huh?"
Samus: "Um, I've been wanting to talk to you about it actually."
Sonic: "Ah… Well…"
Sonic wasn't known for talking about his feelings. That shit ain't cool and he's all about being cool.
Samus: "Please. I need closure."
Sonic: "Ugh, fiiine." *Rolls eyes*
Samus: "You know what, never mind fuck you."
Sonic: "Wait!"
Too late. She fucked off. He wanted to chase her, but he didn't. They only dated for like what, a few months before he got kidnapped. It wasn't that serious. At least to him.
Sonic: "Tch! Whatever."
With that he continued to run for a couple more hours. Now it's time for a nap. He started walking his way back to his room, but a poster caught his eye.
Sonic: "Hm? What's this?"
He grabbed read it.
Sonic: "'Girl's night at Samus's.'"
Holy shit! Samus is planning a get-together and only girls are invited. It's happening tonight around the same time he's hanging out with the boys!
He was going to think of creative ways to bully Ness, but change of plans. Instead he went to Smash Meyer and bought a tiny mike and connects to his phone. Oh this is gonna be good.
He ran to Samus's door and knocked.
Knock!
Knock!
She answered and frowned when she saw him.
Samus: "What do you want?"
Sonic: "Actually Samus, I'll admit that I was wrong. I didn't mean to treat you like that earlier. I wanna talk about it."
Samus: "No you don't."
She was about to shut her door, but he put his foot out.
Samus: "Sonic, knock it off!"
Sonic: "Give me one more chance."
Samus: "Fine."
Sonic: "Yes!"
Sonic walked inside her room and looked around for a good place to plant the mike.
Samus: "I wanted to talk about us. I know you got kidnapped and I was dating your clone and all, but what I'm confused about is how you feel about me. You never did come to visit after the calamity."
Sonic: "Uh-huh."
Samus: "Um, yeah, so… What are we? Are we still dating?"
Sonic: "Sure."
Samus: "We are?"
Sonic: "Yep." *Continues to look around*
Samus: "Are you ok? Why are you looking around my room? Did you lose something?"
Sonic: "Oh uh, no. I'm just remembering the good ol' times."
Samus: "Um, ok. It seems like you're not listening to me though."
Sonic: "I am."
Samus: "So, then, if we are still a thing, why haven't you come to visit me yet?"
Sonic: "Oh because uh… *Continues to search* I've been ya know, busy."
Samus: "Busy with what exactly?"
Sonic: "Busy with *fakes a cough* Ow, my throat."
Samus gave him a concerned look. "Are you ok?"
Sonic: "N-no, my throat is parched from all that running I did earlier. Can you give me a glass of water?"
Samus: "Yeah, I'll be back."
As she walked away, Sonic saw the perfect place to put the mike. He quickly placed it on her shelf which was hidden behind stuffed animals. Perfect, no one will suspect a thing.
He heard her footsteps and immediately ran back to his original spot. When she approached him, he gave her a big toothy grin.
Sonic: "Thank you." *Takes glass and drinks*
Samus: "So what were you saying?"
Sonic: "Oh uh... I was sayin' that I've been through a lot and uh, yeah that's why I wasn't around. But now I am. I'm feelin' better."
Samus: "So you were busy with collecting your thoughts?"
Sonic: "Somethin' like that. Anyway, I ran a lot today and I'm startin' to feel sleepy. You know me. Gotta take my daily naps."
Samus: "But-
Sonic: "Sorry, but I'm about to pass out. Catch ya later~" *Winks*
Before she could retaliate, he ran out the door. She was still confused about their relationship. He confirmed that they were still dating, but like always he seemed to not take it seriously. He was getting better at one point, but he's back to being aloof.
She frowned and hugged herself. She started getting all sad but remembered that tonight is girls night. The girls will give her advice.
Meanwhile with Sonic…
The hedgehog ran back to his room and opened the mike app. He saw that it was running smoothly and could hear Samus do her thing. Yeesh, is this creepy? This is shit Ness would do to his crush. Although, it's not because he has a crush on Samus or anything. At least not anymore.
Samus was an ok girlfriend, but she was a bit controlling. It was getting a bit much. He thought he liked her but after the calamity, he did his own thing and he liked it. She wasn't around to nag him anymore.
The sex was great and all, but hanging out with friends and not having to worry about her getting jealous feels liberating.
The entire time he was in that room, he barely paid any attention to her. That comes to show that he lost love for her if he even had any. He didn't know nor did he care at the moment because right now all he cared about was listening in on the tea later tonight.
He took out his phone and texted the group.
[- Da Boyz 2.0
Group Chat
Sonic: guyzzz guess wat
Popo: oh shiiiit whaaaat
Sonic: the girlz r gonna hang out at samuses
Toon: samus's place?
Lucas: Oh. That's cool
Sonic: yep and guess who planted a mike in her room
Ness: What the fuck!
Popo: oh shiiit we get to listen in?! im so down
Ness: What? No! Why? That's creepy.
Sonic: Oh like u wouldn't do the same thing
Ness: I wouldn't.
Sonic: yes u wuld
Lucas: It is a lil creepy
Toon: nah i'm all for dis
Popo: fking saaaame
Sonic: #Ness #Lucas arent u fkers a bit curious
Lucas: Not really
Ness: Not even a little.
Sonic: well ur loss but toon and popo u guyz are down yeah?
Toon: yep!
Popo: HELL YEAH I AM
Ness: You guys are gross.
Toon: c'mon m8. i wanna know wat girls talk about
Popo: wat if ur girl tetra is there
Toon: i doubt it. she's a spirit she doesnt hang around here
Sonic: i only know bc the posters r scattered around da mansion
Popo: although if nana is there dat might be a lil awkward
Popo: i still wanna know wat she sayin though
Sonic: riiiiight
Sonic: dis is gonna be so fun
Ness: Don't you think it's creepy that you went to your ex's room and planted a mike?
Sonic: when u say it like dat it sounds awful
Lucas: Kinda sounds like you're desperate
Sonic: psssh i dont want her
Popo: say why did u 2 break up in the 1st place
Sonic: idk we never talked about it i guess until like 20 min ago
Lucas: You actually spoke to her? Are you two still dating?
Sonic: nah
Lucas: You don't like her anymore?
Toon: m8 she's a baddie why u dont want her
Sonic: eh i'm over the whole datin shit rn
Popo: fkin saaame
Sonic: anyway imma see u guyz laterr im excited for toniiight
Popo: #Ness #Lucas U GUYZ CUMMIN
Ness: Why must you always say it like that?
Popo: CUZ ITS FUNNY
Toon: c'mon guys u gotta come to boys night
…
Ness felt bad. If he doesn't go then Toon Link is going to think that he's flaking out on them again. Also he wondered if Tina was going to show. What if they talk about their crushes and she says it's him!
Dammit, if he does listen in on the girl's conversation, he'll be a total creep. This is a violation, right? Then again, his friend group is doing it so… Maybe it's not so bad. Yeah, if they're doing it then it's not all on him.
Besides, it wasn't his idea. Sonic is the one who planted the mike. If anyone's the creep, it's him. He's coming over because he doesn't want to let Toon Link and the rest down of course. Well he wants to hear the girl's conversation too. Who wouldn't? But the main reason why is to not let his fellow friends down.
[- Da Boyz 2.0
Group Chat
Ness: I promised to never miss a hang out so obviously I'm coming, but I'm not going to enjoy whatever pervy plan you guys are doing.
Popo: FUCK YEAAAAH
Sonic: it aint pervy
Lucas: I mean you planted a mike in your ex's room. It's a lil weird
Sonic: nah dis is shit guyz do
Lucas: Is it?
Sonic: i mean u wuldnt know ur gay
Ness: Sonic!
Lucas: I'm not gay!
Sonic: bruh
Toon: he ain't gay. he's just a lil feminine
Lucas: Hey!
Toon: i mean i am to. i wear tights
Sonic: lmao
Popo: HA! GAAY
Toon: ppl call me gay all da time becaus of dat shit
Sonic: nah bro got a crush on ness
Lucas: That's not true
Toon: m8 quit pikin on my fellow blond
Lucas: Yeah! }:C
Sonic: #Ness ur pretty quiet
Ness chewed on his thumb nail. He knew Lucas is gay. It's obvious that his best friend is trying to hide it. He couldn't believe that he didn't catch that before. But since Popo and Toon Link seem to think he's straight, maybe he's not THAT stupid to not realize.
Ding!
[- Da Boyz 2.0
Group Chat
Popo: Shiiit i mean gay or not idc all i care about is dis juicy tea were about to get from da girlz
Sonic: ikr cant it be 10 already
Popo: is dat when samus's party is startin
Sonic: yeah
Toon: well see u fkers at 10
Lucas: Yeah see ya
Ness: See you guys at 10:00pm.
…
Ness had several hours to kill. He scrolled through social media while thinking about who was going to show up at Samus's party.
What if Tina doesn't show? Well, she is a party animal. She's most likely going to be there. But if she's not, then he'll check out and therefore not partake in the whole being a creep. He didn't care for the other girls anyway.
After scrolling through the internet for a few hours, it was finally time to hang out with the boys. He was nervous. What if Tina says she only thinks of him as a friend? That's going to sting. He wasn't ready to hear rejection. Maybe he should make up an excuse as to why-
Ding!
[- Lucas
DM
Lucas: I'm at your door
Ness: What! I'm usually the one that picks you up.
Lucas: I wanted to be the big boy today
Ness: What the hell…
Lucas: Lol open the door you idiot
…
Ness sprayed cologne. He went over to the door and opened it to see his best friend.
Ness: "This is weird."
Lucas: "I'm the man this time. Shall I take m'lady's hand?"
Lucas extended his hand out to Ness. The blonde was holding back his laughter when he saw Ness's annoyed facial expression.
Ness: "I'm not used to this from you."
Lucas: "Aww, c'mon it's funny."
Ness averted his eyes and let out a quiet chuckle. He jokingly grabbed Lucas's hand and together they started walking toward Popo's room.
Lucas pretended to play it off cool. However deep inside he was freaking out. Before, Ness would've never joked like this. He would slap away his hand and give him a fake annoyed look. But right now they're holding hands! Ness hasn't let go and it's been like three minutes already. Is this even a joke still? Wow, his hand is soft. It feels like he's never worked a day in his life. In fact, it felt like he pampered it often.
Lucas looked down to see his best friend's hand. Not a single dirt under his nails. His hands look too pretty. He definitely pampers himself.
Lucas: "S-so are you excited for Sonic's weird plan?"
Ness: "N-no! Sonic is a total creep for doing this."
Ness let go of Lucas's hand and waved it around to express how creepy Sonic was being. He pulled it out so casually like they do this all the time. Does he not realize how… Romantic that was? Even if it was a joke, why didn't pull his hand away sooner?
Lucas: "Uh-huh."
Ness: "I'm only coming because I don't want to upset Toon Link again."
They approached Popo's door. Ness knocked on the door. He was too busy thinking about who was going to be at Samus's party that he didn't realize Sonic was there to run past him as always.
Zoom!
Ness fell over and took Lucas with him. He landed on top of the blonde. Ness blinked a couple times as the two stared at each other for a bit. However, he pulled his attention away when he heard the group laughing.
Toon: "Maybe, Lucas is a little gay."
Sonic: "Hahaha! Told ya~"
Popo: "Damn get a room, guys."
Ness: "W-what! No!"
Ness hopped off of Lucas and dusted himself off. The blonde got up as well and did the same.
Ness: "Grrr. Sonic, what the hell?"
Sonic: "You should've known, Cheddar Biscuit~"
Ness: "Cheddar Biscuit?"
Sonic: "Yeah, it's my new nickname for ya."
Ness: "Why?"
Sonic: "Mario did give you biscuits."
Toon: "Wha?"
Popo: "Wait, what the fuck?" *Takes a hit*
Ness glared at Sonic.
Ness: "Don't mention shit in the cave."
Sonic: "Just tellin' you my thought process."
Ness: "I hate that nickname."
Sonic: "Well I like it so…"
Ness: "I-
Sonic: "Also you're dry like a biscuit, so it just suits ya."
Ness: "Dry? What're you mean dry?"
Sonic: "Your sense of humor is dry."
Popo and Toon: "OOOH!"
Ness: "I have a great sense of humor thank you very much. You're just not good enough to make me laugh."
Sonic: "Everyone loves my jokes. Even Lucas does."
Lucas: "It's true."
Sonic: "Seeee."
Popo: *Coughs* "It's a cute nickname. I'm not gonna lie."
Sonic: "Riiight."
Ness: "It's not a cute nickname. He's making fun of me."
Sonic: "When am I not?"
Ness: "Grrr."
Sonic: "Hahaha!"
Popo's timer went off.
Popo: "Oh shit guys! It's time!"
Sonic: "Damn, time flies by fast."
Toon: "So, wait, how do we listen in?"
Sonic took out his phone.
Sonic: "With this here app."
Everyone except Lucas stared at Sonic's phone in awe. They were all excited to listen to the girl's conversations. The hedgehog raised the volume to the highest.
Sonic: "This is gonna be juicy."
Popo: "I feel like a degenerate right now haaahaa." *Takes a hit*
Toon: "I honestly feel a little bad too."
Lucas: "Same."
Ness: "Probably because it is a bad thing that we're doing."
Sonic: "Eh, who cares. Let's be real, they would do the same too."
Ness: "Would they though?"
Sonic: "Nah probably not, but we're guys. We're all pervs."
Ness: *Scoffs* "I'm not."
Sonic: "Then why are you the closest one to my phone right now."
Lucas: *Snickers* "You are pretty close."
Ness: "I-I am?"
Everyone except Ness: "Yeah."
Ness blushed and scooted further back. The boys laughed. Lucas patted his friend in the back.
Lucas: "You dummy."
Ness: (How embarrassing.) "Haha…"
The boys went silent when they heard someone talking through Sonic's phone.
Popo: "Wait, can they hear us?"
Sonic: "Nope~"
Popo: "Nice."
Toon: "Guys shut up!"
The boys heard the door open from the app.
Popo: "Oh shit! She opened the door."
Toon: "Shhh."
[- Mikeboom
App
Samus: "Hi, everyone, welcome in~"
…