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The following is a fan-based

FICTION

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Chapter 11: Unholy Comedy

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She had done it. Columbina couldn't help but feel so happy that she finally found him!

Sampo Koski, and he was indeed coated in a most intense and most unnatural layer of energy compared to anything or anyone in Teyvat.

Definitely not Abyssal corruption, same for Celestian influence. He was something new and, from the way he greeted her, well aware of her approach.

Her smile was warranted. The way he just appeared so huffy and puffy, like an unruly child in need of a correction- Oh, she could already salivate at what was to come.

"Befriendable? Man, aren't you a carnival for a joke. How can I be a friend from a dirty murderer?"

The way he carelessly rebuked her 'olive branch' had her stirring within. She had expected it, but that didn't meant Columbina could hold back a shiver at the way he was already sizing her up just as much as she was doing that to him.

"Aw, but didn't you slay many agents too? What's a life lost or spared among friends~?"

Columbina giggled as she saw her question met with an attack.

The time for chatting was over, for now, and a spar between soon-to-be-buddies was now there for her to enjoy.

Jumping over the strange sphere of wind coating smaller blue Anemo orbs, Columbina's face tensed up as the sphere dissolved and the orbs shot upward.

Not even a moment of playing with her prey, and her body was drilled by various intensely-rotating spheres of Elemental energy.

Not only that, those then exploding, decimating her arms and legs but also her lower frame and bits of her shoulders. She landed down, pouting as she looked like chopped wood. Then she smiled.

"Heh, chopped wood. Very funny."

Her healing factor kicked in almost immediately, her own energy patching up her clothes and restoring her to normal. The joke had absolved Sampo of this slight but... the naughty boy was not ready to give in just yet at the futile attempt.

A punch came for her guts, and she felt wind blades shredding her stomach, then a kick sent her flying against the nearest tree behind her. More orbs came for her, but also a few pink-colored bombs.

Electro joined Anemo, the Swirl effect hitting immediately as she felt the shredding factor doubling within mere seconds. Admittedly, had her healing factor been any lesser, she would have been in trouble but...

Even as just her head remained, sent flying once more, she easily crafted her body back to prime shape.

A shame she couldn't get more of a kick out of the pain, but Sampo was trying. And trying was good. Just not enough. Never enough.

"Aww, when are you going to use your real fun power?" Columbina half-whined and half-taunted, a most devious smile on her face as she walked back to the clearing where Sampo was waiting. His daggers were readied, and he looked intrigued but hardly frightened.

In the past, Columbina would have joined her brothers and sisters in such a simple statement: 'Do not Be Afraid'.

But right now? Now that she had truly fallen out of the graces of that one true god?

Now there was just...

"Be Most Afraid~," She lulled as she sat on the stump of a tree that once welcomed her frame before the latest detonation, her pink eyes wide open to mirthfully glare at Sampo while her true form flashed before those daring green eyes of his.

"And for what?" He muttered tensely, clearly affected but not to the point of despair as many lesser men would be. "You sure do look like a playful joker here, oh fallen one."

This time, it was Columbina's turn to tense up. To be greeted as a 'Fallen' was a rare occurrence in Teyvat. Only a few had gained insight over her past, and it was mostly due to her own admission.

Sampo? He had learned this matter not from her. Which intrigued her to the core.

"You're marvelous," She breathlessly complimented, the wings by her head flapping softly. "Do tell, Sampo... do you believe in Him?"

"If there is indeed God at play, I would say he has a funny way to dispose of the two of us," He hummed, his voice letting out more than what she was accustomed to. After all, one thing was for one to decipher her nature, another was for said person to come from where she was once a local of. "That being said, I can't say... Lucifer or Azazel?"

"Luci was convincing, but it was Azzie that made me fall," She muttered truthfully, her throat aching at the yearning tone she was now geared with. Joy swelled within her thin angelic chest as she greeted a fellow Creation of the Lord. "Love for Incredible Humans made me Fall- Love and Lust and Desire."

"Sinful much, aren't you?"

She beamed in bliss, triggered just briefly by the nonchalance and the lack of formality in Sampo's voice. But... was he truly reborn as he used to be, or was he warped just like she had been?

"Pray tell, oh brother of mine. Do you believe that there is hope for me?"

He smirked, but it felt hollow. His answer was, at the very least, true to his heart. "If you are asking, then maybe you know the answer away, oh seeker of the horni jail."

Columbina greeted him again with a giggle, this one a heartful one.

"Before now, I sought your odd power. But now? I really want to cuddle with you in bed and Peruere~!"

She shot forward, ready to give him a big hug. To show him true love within the sin she wallowed, a praise only known just once by the Tsaritsa and no one else. She was feeling merciful-

But Sampo acted fast. And he gave her what she had been looking for.

Her chin ached- then her cheeks, eyes, and forehead.

The tip of a shoe had hit upward and struck her into a brief flight over the air. She corrected her rotation, stabilizing her frame in the sky and... she looked down at a most perplexing sight.

A mask adorned Sampo's face, beautiful in its own enigmating red-tinted smile as its holder now greeted her fully.

"I am afraid, that a full fight would do Inazuma more harm than good. Which is bad for my plans so... forgive me friend, but I have to send you away quite earnestly~," Someone that wasn't Sampo said calmly, scratching his chin. "Now, since we are in Thunder Japan, how about something more Animesque. Hmm, it has to be strong enough to send you away and yet not strong enough to break a few eggs in the process..."

Columbina wanted to desperately hug Sampo in that moment. This was the essence of pure chaotic and unrestrained divine power she had searched. The warmth only her Father could grant her and that she missed dearly. She was outright heating up in the process of breaking free of whatever had frozen her up mid-air. But she couldn't.

"I think I got the right one! Stay put as I-"

"Name? Your name?! What is it? I need it!"

He smiled under the mask. "A name for this form, I think? Oh, I am Brighella. Nice to meet ya, Damselette! Let's be friends... next time~!"

She wanted to stay, she really did. She found him- the one that would give her purpose once more. Her rebellion forsaken as she wept for the Warmth only He could give her!

"Gomu Gomu no..." Brighella muttered, his body still twitching and contorting in a most unusual manner as his fist suddenly shot back, his arm stretching at an inhuman length and... heating up at the base of his knuckles. "Red DAWN!"

His fist came careening at an insane pace, almost missed by Columbina's own attentive eyes as she was struct right into her belly. She felt her insides stretching at the sudden intrusion, her eyes wide open as the way her body mellowed at the attack was unnatural to anything she felt up to this point.

She squeaked, a blush on her face at the intense warm burning inside her for a moment. Then... propulsion took her way.

She had flown fast in the past. But never so fast, never so suddenly, never so warmly.

"Ah~!" A very embarrassing noise fluttered out of her most innocent lips and she felt her eyes form hearts at the delight striking her entire body in a single jolt of bliss.

The flight was 'brief' in her mind. She was soaring for hours, then she landed onto a large pile of snow and ice.

It was cold- familiarly cold. She was back in Snezhnaya. To many, this was a failure. To her, this was a graceful victory. She was cackling madly even as she struggled to reform her body, her clothes took some more time but... Oh she needed to cool down a little bit.

There was no way in Old Heaven or Old Hell that she was going to miss claiming that silly blue-headed heart-robber next time they played~!

AN

I thought about making it a Sampo's POV. But then I realized that it would feel a bit weird to include a whole lot of 'Aw Shit, Oh Fugg' and 'This better be working- Fuck, it did not!', so I gave you the most irresponsible eldricht Angel. Her and her most unquenchable love for Sampo-boy!