"I do not think this one needs much of an explanation..." Hermione announced, cocking an eyebrow as the smug smirk from earlier settled back onto his lips. She turned back to the radio and pressed play.
Somethin' must've gone wrong in my brain.
Got your chemicals all in my veins.
Feelin' all the highs, feel all the pain.
Let go of the wheel, it's the bullet lane.
Now I'm seein' red, not thinkin' straight.
Blurrin' all the lines, you intoxicate me.
Just like nicotine, heroin, morphine.
Suddenly, I'm a fiend and you're all I need.
All I need, yeah, you're all I need.
It's you, babe. And I'm a sucker for the way that you move, babe.
And I could try to run, but it would be useless.
You're to blame. Just one hit of you, I knew I'll never be the same.
It's you, babe. And I'm a sucker for the way that you move, babe.
And I could try to run, but it would be useless.
You're to blame. Just one hit of you, I knew I'll never ever ever be the same.
As soon as the last notes of the song played she looked over her shoulder to openly glare at the boy who had made his way over to lounge on the couch. She reached down and pulled out the heavy locket from between her breasts. "What was the point of gifting me this damn thing if you were going to refuse to use it?"
Draco's shoulders rose and fell with a heavy sigh. "I already apologized for that, Kitten."
"That isn't an answer to my question…"
"I also clearly remember explaining why…"
"No... You gave a superficial excuse. Hoping your pretty phrases would distract me from the fact that you had the time to sit down and write that letter." She let go of the locket but continued to glare at him. Not willing to let him off that easily.
His jaw clenched again, this time in obvious annoyance at her persistence. He took another deep breath before starting carefully, "There have been added security measures put into place. I had to wait until we visited Diagon Alley, where I could go off on my own, and by that point a terse conversation seemed inadequate."
She scrutinized his response for any tell that he was lying to her and found none. Even after a discourteous amount of time went by, he sat there and stared right back. Eventually she was forced to admit that she thought he was telling the truth and skipped to the next song.
"I couldn't stop myself..."
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.
Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't.
I invite you to a world where there is no such thing as time.
And every creature lends themselves to change your state of mind.
And the girl that chased the rabbit, drank the wine, and took the pill
Has locked herself in limbo to see how it truly feels.
To stand outside your virtue.
No one can ever hurt you.
Or so they say...
Her name is Alice!
She crawls into the window,
Through shapes and shadows. Alice!
And even though she's dreaming, she knows.
Sometimes the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain.
And every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain.
And through the looking glass we see she's painfully returned.
But now off with her head I fear is everyone's concern.
You see there's no real ending.
It's only the beginning.
Come out and play!
Hermione quoted the ending in a singsong voice. "And contrariwise, what it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"
He shook his head at her antics but quickly stilled in anticipation of her next question.
"If you choose to answer any of the following questions, I would appreciate the truth. No bullshit, okay?" She requested bluntly, taking the time to reiterate that she had some unpleasant topics ahead.
"Understood." Draco's acknowledgement was concise as he watched her move so she was facing him.
"Is…" For a split second she thought about changing the inquiry but decided she needed the truth on the matter before she could move forward. "Is anyone going to be hurt by what you have to do for Him?"
The question startled him and his jaw went slack as he fought with himself over answering. It took a long time for him to make up his mind. Another long uncomfortable silence settled in and was only broken when he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees so he was whispering at the floor. "I… I hope not."
His resistance to immediately placate her with an empty guarantee made his despondent confession easier to swallow. She had known from the moment he divulged he'd been given a task by Voldemort that it meant danger for those inside of Hogwarts. Where was the proof of redemptive obedience in the completion of an unchallenging trial? The fact that there was potential for it to come to pass without harm was promising…
"I find the sentiment fitting enough." Hermione moved on, her assessment of her next selection was straightforward.
I'm jealous. I'm overzealous.
When I'm down I get real down.
When I'm high I don't come down.
I get angry, baby, believe me.
I could love you just like that.
And I can leave you just as fast.
But you don't judge me. 'Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too.
No, you don't judge me. 'Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too.
'Cause I got issues, but you got 'em too.
So give 'em all to me and I'll give mine to you.
Bask in the glory of all our problems.
'Cause we got the kind of love it takes to solve 'em.
Yeah, I got issues. And one of them is how bad I need you.
You do shit on purpose.
You get mad and you break things.
Feel bad, try to fix things.
But you're perfect, poorly wired circuit.
And got hands like an ocean.
Push you out, pull you back in.
'Cause you don't judge me. 'Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too.
No, you don't judge me. 'Cause you see it from the same point of view.
She suspected that he would outright refuse to answer her follow up but she was morbidly curious and the words rushed out of her mouth before she could fully think through the choice to ask. "Were you excited to get the Mark?"
"No."
"Oh..."
"I was honored." He surprised her by continuing. His disgust for the recollection dripped from each word. "It was hard not to be when the fact that I was one of the youngest disciples to ever be bestowed a rank was constantly being paraded around. I lost out on the full claim to that award by three months… To a cousin on the Black side, a little detail Auntie Bella loves to throw around to prove how worthy our line is."
The tension that rolled off of him as he waited for her reaction was heavy. She blinked slowly, afraid to let her offense show on her face. This is what she had asked for… No bullshit.
"Of course, now I know it was a power play and her gloating was utter hyperbole…" He scoffed, picking at an imaginary imperfection on the fabric of his pants. "So thank Karma for that!"
Hermione choked down the sarcastic retort that was spurred by her unfocused anger and sighed softly, "Exaggerated arrogance does seem to be a Black familial trait…"
"Along with being batshit insane…" He recognized, ignoring the dig.
"Isn't that the truth." She muttered under her breath, memories of Walburga Black's nearly constant chant of radical insults replayed in her ears. To get the sound of screeching slurs out of her mind she leaned forward to pressed play, quickly explaining, "This song… Is a reminder that as much as society, muggle and wizarding, likes to think we have evolved… We are the same doomed cavemen killing the scary unknown with our rocks and sticks."
Just stop your crying. It's a sign of the times.
Welcome to the final show.
Hope you're wearing your best clothes.
You can't bribe the door on your way to the sky.
You look pretty good down here. But you ain't really good.
We never learn, we've been here before.
Why are we always stuck and running from the bullets? The bullets?
We never learn, we've been here before.
Why are we always stuck and running from the bullets? The bullets?
Just stop your crying. It's a sign of the times.
We gotta get away from here.
We gotta get away from here.
Just stop your crying. It'll be alright.
They told me that the end is near.
We gotta get away from here.
Just stop your crying. Have the time of your life.
Breaking through the atmosphere.
And things are pretty good from here.
Remember everything will be alright.
We can meet again somewhere.
Somewhere far away from here.
No longer able to hide her impatience, she leveled him with another probing look. "How did you become so good at memory charms?"
"That one is easy!" Draco smirked over at her. "The same as every other spell, Kitten... Practice."
"Very funny… You should have skipped the question if you were going to give such a lousy answer." She lectured, unamused with the implications that his explanation spurred from her imagination.
His smirk widened into a full smile as her carefully covered irritation finally broke through. "Fine. Go ahead and ask another."
"Why did you get so good at memory charms?" Hermione clarified.
"My mother thought it prudent for me to start learning the craft after the rumors started floating around the summer after first year. She was the one who convinced my father that the whispers of the Dark Lord's return should be taken seriously. No matter how ludicrous. Granted she wasn't exactly pleased when it led to his desperate attempt to show fidelity to the cause at the last moment…"
"Wait! Your mother taught you how to tamper with memories at twelve?!"
"Yes…"
She shook her head in disbelief at the absurdity of what he'd said. "Had she met you at that age? I mean, honestly! I'm surprised you weren't caught trying to obliviate Harry so you could one-up him on the Quidditch pitch!"
"No no, that didn't come till later…"
"Oh?"
"Having a solid foundation in Legilimency and Occlumency makes it easier to shift through everything…" He rationalized.
"Oh." Somehow, the thought of a young Draco being free to mess around in people's heads at will was not as much of a comfort as he intended. An urge to get up and pace the length of the room to expound on the recklessness of such an irresponsible decision buzzed across her skin, but she knew he would not appreciate the vilification of his mother.
"Too much truth?" He taunted.
She rolled her eyes and didn't dignify the jibe with a response. Instead, she skipped forward to the last song and gave her reasoning. "There has to be a little bit of hope even when it feels like we shouldn't, right?"
There was a time I used to look into my father's eyes.
In a happy home, I was a king. I had a golden throne.
Those days are gone, now the memories are on the wall.
I hear the sounds from the places where I was born.
Up on the hill across the blue lake.
That's where I had my first heartbreak.
I still remember how it all changed. My father said.
Don't you worry, don't you worry child.
See heaven's got a plan for you.
Don't you worry, don't you worry now, yeah!
Don't you worry, don't you worry child.
See heaven's got a plan for you.
Don't you worry, don't you worry now, yeah!
There was a time I met a girl of a different kind.
We ruled the world. Thought, I'll never lose her out of sight.
We were so young. I think of her now and then.
I still hear the songs, reminding me of a friend.
There was a long silence where she sat and debated with herself. She was thankful for the candor, but she had even more to ask of him. Hermione knew there were easier ways to accomplish what she needed but none of them felt right… This was far too personal to involve anyone else.
"Teach me how to erase myself from my parents' memories?"
-\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/- -\?/-
Well then… What do you think Draco is going to say to our girl's request?
As always…
Much love,
SlytherclawLuv
Song Credit:
"Never Be the Same" by Camila Cabello
"Her Name is Alice" By Shinedown
"Issues" by Julia Michaels
"Sign of the Times" by Harry Styles
"Don't You Worry Child" by Swedish House Mafia
I am always looking for song suggestions for future chapters! ;)