CH. 23 'If I haven't disappointed you enough already' OR ' What kind of hold does he have on you?'

She packed very little. Throwing things quickly into the small suitcase she'd originally brought with her from Kyoto. As she grabbed items, some new and some old, from the closet, her hand stalled as it trailed across the gold and green dress hanging inside. Without thinking, Rinami pulled the dress from its hanger and hugged it to her body, closing her eyes and inhaling the scent of Sukuna that still lingered on the material. Fresh tears slid down her face as she remembered that night. If only she could play those moments on repeat. She'd happily be content to spend the rest of her days just like that -Simply enjoying his company.

Dropping to the closet floor, she ran her fingers lightly over the dress as she contemplated her next moves and what her life would look like from here. There was no longer an Aizen, no Sukuna, no Jujutsu Society, and no Tokyo or Kyoto High schools. Nowhere to go. Everything felt pretty bleak right now, but as hard as it had been, she'd did what needed to be done. She guessed she should try to at least be a little proud of that. Even if everything inside of her already wanted to rewind and undo it all.

Letting out a guttural scream, Rinami threw her head into her hands and tried to wipe it all away. Any second-guessing or feelings of regret had no place here. She dropped the dress on the floor and hurriedly got back to her feet to finish packing her bag. Staying here was trouble. She needed to finish and get far away from here as quickly as possible. Taking a second hesitant look at the dress, she swiftly turned and picked it up. Rummaging through the closet, she searched for and then retrieved, the original packaging that it had arrived in. Delicately folding it she placed the dress and then the package inside of her bag. It really was a good memory, probably the best she'd had since coming here, and she couldn't bear to leave it behind. It would be the one small piece that she let herself hold onto while she ran from the rest. It couldn't hurt to allow herself that one thing.

20 minutes later she was at the door- the single suitcase, a small duffel bag, and the jacket on her back, were the only things she was leaving with. Though she really hadn't wanted to, she had taken a little under a million yen from the safe, just in case. Truthfully, she probably could have taken it all. She figured he had at least 15 million just sitting there and Sukuna didn't need money for anything. He basically just took whatever it was he wanted. The yen he'd kept around had really been for her. It allowed her to at least pretend to be honest, though she'd still had to face the very real concern of where he even got it from. It wasn't like he was gone at all hours of the night simply because he was out working the night shift.

She also had her bank card. She didn't see any reason why she couldn't also safely use that. The account was in her name only and she'd had it prior to everything. Although his name wasn't on it, Sukuna had been making regular deposits in it for her. Apparently so that she could stave off boredom by buying whatever would replace actual human interaction. However, Rinami had never actually used the funds, and since he'd paid for everything she'd never had to use any of her savings or anything either. The result was a pretty hefty amount in that account that belonged solely to her. Since it was a combination of her own money and Sukuna couldn't access it even if he wanted to, she decided she may as well use it instead of letting it sit there and waste away. Starting over wouldn't be easy, but it would be far from impossible if she at least had a good start .

She stopped at the door, turning back in towards the inside of the apartment. As she thought about her memories here, they were filled with her time with Sukuna, both the good and the bad. But those same memories were all also tarnished and tear-stained. As she really thought about it, Rinami wasn't sure she'd ever cried so much in her entire life as she had in the past weeks. So many tears. All of them associated with either him or her disappointment with herself.

Well, here was one thing that she could finally be proud of, and with it, maybe she could leave all of her newfound crying behind in this apartment… With one final look around, Rinami took her suitcase and hit the road. She had no idea at all of where she intended to go- She just planned to put one foot in front of the other and get away without turning back.

As she stepped out of the apartment Rinami immediately realized that something was off. She could see the lights flickering in the distance. People were wandering in the streets- some running, some screaming, some just looking worriedly around them.

What is going on here? Is this part of Sukuna's doing? The news had sounded like whatever had happened had taken place out in Shibuya City. Had the chaos really spread this far already? Briefly, she wondered precisely what it was he'd done to cause all this. Shaking her head, she tucked it down and tried to avoid as much of the confusion as she could on her way to the train station.

She hadn't gone far however, before she ran across a cursed spirit attacking a woman in a nearby alley. She made quick work of it and tried her best to comfort the panicked woman, but all she got was screamed at and scratched in her face for her efforts. Sighing she collected her bag and continued on. She had a feeling that this was probably an indicator of the current state of the entire area. The fear and terror of the citizens could almost be felt in the air itself. If it was this bad so far out, it made her worried about what the devastation must be in Shibuya.

She arrived at the train station and found it packed with people. After questioning a few, she learned that many had been waiting hours to no avail. It wasn't surprising at all. Whatever had happened had probably stalled or completely derailed the trains coming in and prevented any from going out. That was fine, right now she had a lot on her mind and a long walk would do her good. Rinami looked around at all the people gathered at the train station. This wasn't a good idea though. With cursed spirits running wild, a group of this many people would be a major attractant. She was considering the best way to break up the crowd and convince them to move on, when her concerns suddenly became realized. A group of cursed spirits appeared seemingly almost out of nowhere and began wrapping around the group, cornering them on one side.

Rinami groaned. Today, had just been the absolute worst… The people in the area who had the ability to sense cursed energy, immediately started to panic. Their panic in the midst of so many people, started a minor ruckus, which very quickly escalated into full blown pandemonium. The crowd rushed each other, all of them running in different directions and crawling over each other to get away from something that most of them weren't even aware of.

Already beginning to feel worn down from just the idea of having to deal with all of this, Rinami exorcised the spirits in less than a minute. Normally with this many spirits to deal with on her own she would have simply culled their numbers and then given the remaining ones a chance to run off, but this particular situation called for total annihilation. She sensed this was just a very small piece of the true dangers that were going on in the city and she needed to do everything she possibly could to eliminate as much of it as she was able to.

The remainder of her evening was more of the same. Tired and dragging, she left the scene at the train station and walked until the early evening until she'd reached the outer area of Tokyo. It had quickly become apparent on her journey that she wouldn't be leaving Tokyo any time soon. Transportation out of the area was mostly out of service, so at least for now, Kyoto was out of the question. She was okay with that. As she'd travelled the City, Rinami had realized that they were going to need some serious help here. Being that she bore a hefty amount of responsibility for the current state of things, it wouldn't suit her to just run off anyways. She'd need to stick around and help clean up this mess.

She'd found a small apartment on the outskirts of Shinjuku. The landlord was a tiny woman who seemed deathly afraid to even open the door, but she was happy to take Rinami's yen when she saw her waving it through the window. She quickly shuffled Rinami to the apartment, which thankfully was as listed on the advertisement Rinami had seen. It was small, but clean and already sparsely furnished. It would work just fine for her.

Rinami thanked the woman and then walked her back to her apartment, ensuring that she made it safely and locked herself inside before she returned to her own new apartment. There was still a good amount of the day left and in this part of the city the chaos was at a minimum. Locking up, she decided to head out and stock up on some linens and other essentials that she would need to get settled in her new home. She would take care to keep her energy hidden and take responsibility for exorcising any spirits that she could locate in this area. Besides, there was no point in pretending that it was an accident that she'd come to Shinjuku…

She leaned against the outside wall of her apartment and closed her eyes with a long, heaving sigh. This location was intentional. There was a cursed item hidden here. A very high-level special grade one that she'd seen on a classified list a long time ago during her time working at the Elite Force. It had remained unclaimed for so long because of its insane difficulty to obtain, but she felt certain that she now had the ability needed to recover it. She didn't want to, but seeing even the trace residuals of the calamity that she'd witnessed in the city today had affirmed it for her – it would be smart to collect it and keep it on hand. Just in case.

She couldn't sleep. She'd returned from her errands hours ago and she was bone-tired from the events. Yet as tired as she was, the strangeness and loneliness of this apartment was killing her and she was waking every 10 minutes almost on the dot. She looked at the clock. It wasn't so late that she couldn't go back out… Why stay cooped up here and unhappy? Wasn't that one of the benefits of leaving? She really, actually, was able to come and go as she pleased.

Throwing on some sweatpants and an old hoodie, she headed out into the neighborhood. It was fairly quiet with the odd person or couple walking in the streets. The night breeze felt good and Rinami was glad that she'd gotten out. She recalled seeing a playground not too far. Walking there and sitting on the swing for a bit could be nice...

As she walked down the streets trying to recall which way the park was, she finally spotted the entrance, and as she was about to turn into it, she was startled to see Gojo standing not 10 feet away from her. Surprised, she tried not to show it, and ignoring him, she quickly turned into the park and prepared to walk across it to beat a hasty retreat away from him.

"So, are you not with Sukuna anymore? Did you finally leave?" He approached her quickly, his tone eager but cautious. Rinami was thrown off balance. She lowered her head and tried to keep walking. Speeding up and crossing swiftly through the park. How is he here? And how does he even know-

"Rin. Please tell me you're done with him, and you've finally regained your senses?"

Exasperated, Rinami gave up and turned to him, simultaneously dropping the mask illusion that she'd been using to hide her appearance.

She frowned at him. "Stop. Just stop! I don't know where you came from or why you're even here saying such things, but knock it off, okay?"

Gojo stopped moving, but didn't stop talking. "Okay. But something has changed. What is it? You're on your own now…"

Rinami sucked in a breath. "How would you even know that? Better yet, how did you find me? And how did you even know it was me? I was under an illusion."

Gojo stared at her for awhile before answering.

"I'm remarkably familiar with your cursed energy Rin. I can tell it anywhere. You haven't yet learned how to conceal it 24/7 yet, right? I mean, you've done a phenomenal job. I'm guessing it's when you sleep that you can't maintain it. Your energy is present and it can be found if someone is looking…". He paused. "Sukuna doesn't have that problem. When you were with him he kept the energy for the two of you tightly covered at all times. It's why we would never track you down."

Rinami considered his words. If someone was looking… With her lips pursed, she lowered her eyebrows before repeating her question. "So again, how did you find me?"

Gojo met her eyes. "I've been looking of course. I thought nights might be harder for you to keep up your guard, and I can locate even the faintest trace of your energy. We had reports of a lot of cursed spirits out this way earlier, but then when we got here they were ALL somehow already exorcised but not by any of our people. Locals in the area talking about some mystery woman… Honestly, it wasn't really that hard. As for identifying you- yeah, your energy was hidden again, and you might have used your technique to mask your face, but… um, that hoodie…" He cleared his throat and the tips of his ears turned red. "You probably don't remember but I actually gave that to you a long time ago… I recognized it as soon as I saw it and I knew that was you."

Rinami's shoulders dropped. Nope she didn't remember, but she also didn't doubt it. He'd given her quite a lot back then – though she'd donated or got rid of everything that she did remember.

Rolling her eyes at her own carelessness, she sighed in resignation. "Okay, then. What now? You've found me. Will you bring me in again? What do you want?"

He hesitated. "I want to know what you're doing. Have you left him? Are you done?"

His words bounced around in her head, and her heart grew heavy. Words like 'done', 'over', finished'. They were so final and she hated them. Trying her best to ignore the pressure in her chest, she matched Gojo's gaze, her eyes locking on his.

"I don't know what you want from me, Satoru. We've separated I guess, and I have no intentions to go back. But no, I don't think I'll ever truly be done with him." She shrugged helplessly. "Even apart, I'm still there with him and he's with me, so I don't know how to truthfully answer your question."

The discouragement on Gojo's face was evident. "I don't get it Rin! Why!? Do you know what he's done!? Shibuya? What kind of hold does he have on you?" He looked to the side, his mouth twisted in anger. "You were done with me - You didn't fight this hard to hold on to me. Why him?"

He turned to look at her, and Rinami found she had no words to respond. She wasn't fighting to hold on to Sukuna. If anything, she was fighting to get away. And It had been very different with Gojo -He'd given her no choice at all in the matter. Besides, she could never really be done with him either, the only difference was that she'd learned to live with that situation long ago. She couldn't fix her mouth to say it directly to him though.

"Satoru, I can't explain any of it. It just is. Whatever you're hoping for from me? Just don't. If I haven't disappointed you enough already, asking more from me surely will." She stopped and shook her head at him sadly. "I'm sorry, I really am and If I could change it all I swear I would. This isn't what I asked for and it isn't what I wanted, but I feel the way I do and I can't bother with trying to fight it or lying to myself about it."

She turned to leave but looked back at him once more with glossy eyes. "I wish it was different Satoru, I really, really do. We all make our own decisions and choices, and I guess I've made mine."

Turning her back to him, she walked away. Her legs felt like lead and her steps were stiff, but she pushed forward. Now, contrary to how she'd felt earlier, she only wanted to return to the quiet solace of the little apartment so she could suffer alone with her thoughts. Suddenly she was stopped. Jerked back by a hand grabbing her wrist and pulling her around. She spun on her foot to find Gojo standing straight in front of her, his blue eyes serious and earnest, staring directly into hers.

NEXT: CH. 24 'You can tell me if I've got it wrong' OR 'Just for old times sake?'

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