...
"...Are you sure you don't want to stick around? I mean, I know we were planning on watching it later into the afternoon, but... Well, you know. I just kind of got used to you coming straight to my house after school."
"Miss me already, Bestie?"
"Oh, shut up." Both girls laughed. "But seriously, you're still coming though, right?"
"Yeah yeah, don't worry, I'll be there. I just need to stop home first to take a bath and change my clothes. I got sweaty during PE today."
Wendy waited for a reply, but the girl next to her fell silent. Confused, this urged the girl with the pink hat to turn a curious glance towards her friend. "...Did I say something strange?"
Bebe shook her head reassuringly. "Ah, no, it's not that. It's just... I don't know how to put it, but..." She scratched her head "...Are you alright?"
Wendy raised an eyebrow and offered a smile. "Geez, where's this coming from?" She giggled. "I'm just going home for an hour or so. It's not like the world is about to end."
"I know that, but..." Bebe sounded serious. "Wendy... Maybe I'm just overthinking this, but... I feel like you've been acting weird recently." Wendy was about to object, but Bebe stopped her. "I know you've been trying to hide it, but I'm your best friend, you know? I can tell something is bothering you. Plus, you're talking to the one and only Bebe. My gossip sense tells me that you're trying to hide something juicy from me." She joked at the end, hoping to not make the atmosphere unnecessarily heavy.
Wendy said nothing for a moment, simply turned her gaze away from the concerned friend sitting next to her and towards the moving scenery outside the school bus window.
"It's not like I've been trying to hide anything. I've just... had a lot on my mind recently." She said.
Bebe observed her friend. "Call it a hunch, but... Does it have anything to do with 'him'?" She asked. The way Wendy's brow furrowed slightly and her grip on her bag tightened gave her the answer she was expecting.
"...Well, I guess it's natural. After everything that has been going on lately, it'd be weird if you weren't thinking about him." Bebe said carefully; her tone was friendly and gentle. "I'm kind of worried about Mysterion too."
"You're only half-right Bebe... It's not specifically Mysterion that I'm thinking about... But rather the person behind the outfit."
Choosing not to correct her friend, Wendy kept looking out the window, her mind slowly drifting away from the conversation. Lost in her reveries, she thought back to everything that has happened in the past few days, all of which culminated into the disaster that was the current day.
...
Earlier that day...
...
When Wendy stepped into South Park Elementary today, she had three goals in mind.
The first one was to make sure Kenny and Karen were alright.
After her volleyball practice the day before, Wendy (much to her relief) was finally able to hear from Bebe what exactly happened to Mysterion and the leader of the sixth graders after her hasty retreat. Apparently, before he and the sixth grader clashed, Mysterion somehow made a cloud of smoke that almost completely covered the playground; no doubt using the device she gave him. According to Bebe, once the cloud dissipated, there was only one person in the ring... and it was an unconscious sixth grader. Mysterion was nowhere to be seen.
While this made Wendy a bit relieved, it still raised more questions, such as Mysterion's whereabouts after the incident and how serious were his injuries after the fight. Annoyed at how every answer she got seemed to spawn three new questions, Wendy decided to absolutely NOT think or talk about this incident as her second goal, so as to not let it get in the way of her focus in class as well as to keep her sane.
And finally... Her final goal was to inquire Kenny about the rather disturbing truth she heard from Butters in the girls's changing room.
"A bet with Cartman..."
She wasn't sure what to think of this bet, mostly because Butters didn't tell her much about it. Despite her best attempts to extract as much information from Butters as possible, in the end, it wasn't clear whether he really didn't know anything or if he was able to somehow fool her. As a result, all the intel she had was awfully vague. All she knew was that at some point Kenny lost a bet, and shortly afterwards Stan started hating his guts. There was obviously more to the story, and Wendy was determined to figure out what it was.
But unfortunately, things weren't going well for her right from the start, given the fact that neither Kenny or Karen came to school today, and that alone kept her from fulfilling goals #1 and #3.
It was a weird feeling, to feel concerned about someone's well being but at the same time contemplate kicking their ass with overwhelming force.
"There's absolutely no way I'm losing any more sleep over this. I refuse to let this day end without answers!" She thought defiantly. "With the exception of Cartman - I'd rather be decapitated than talk to him - I could maybe talk to one of his friends. They might know what happened to Kenny."
For a second she wondered if she should maybe ask Stan. After all, she would be lying if she said she wasn't curious about this alleged fight with Kenny. But she decided against it. After Cartman, he was probably the last person she'd want to talk to.
As she pondered about how exactly she'd get these answers, she eventually noticed of a rather large crowd gathered around the staircase where her favorite artists sold their artwork. For a second, thoughts about Kenny left her mind completely.
"Well... This might be exactly what I need. Cute yaoi fanarts are always great to clear my head." She said, also considering how the art would help her at least fulfill goal #2 by keeping her distracted.
Feeling excited, she happily made her way through the crowd and approached the artists. Several samples of their newest projects were already available, and Wendy didn't waste a second looking at them.
What she saw made her face go white.
"Is... That..."
Without a doubt, these drawings were not Yaoi. But what shocked Wendy wasn't the fact that for the first time ever her favorite artists had tried their hands at drawing heterosexual couples...
But rather, it was because the lovers in the pictures were none other than... Call Girl and Mysterion.
Wendy froze, unconsciously picking up one of the artworks and observing the picture with trembling hands. The one she was holding featured Mysterion embracing Call Girl from behind and lovingly sniffing her hair and neck, while the heroine blushed and laughed at the act of affection. Another picture featured them on top of a building straight up passionately kissing under the moonlight. There was even one where they were surrounded by faceless sixth graders, leading Wendy to think this one wouldn't be romantic... until she noticed they were holding hands, fingers intertwined. And of course, there were some pieces of art that... were probably not be appropriate for kids.
Needless to say, she was shocked into speechlessness. How the hell was she supposed to feel? At face value, the average bystander would simply look at these and think 'oh wow, Mysterion and Call Girl, poggers'. But how do you react when you're the person being portrayed in said pictures, and with none other than a friend of yours? Of course, she'd be dumb not to expect some kind of blowback from publicly fighting alongside the infamous Mysterion. But she never would have expected for people to root so fervently for a romance between them.
The more Wendy thought about it, the more it made her feel weird. She and Kenny were friends for no more than a few weeks; they barely knew each other until recently and there was still a lot they could learn about each other. On top of that, he was friends with her ex-boyfriend; or at least was until recently, and not only that, but she currently had no idea where he was, if he was fine, or even if she should be weary of him, considering how he's supposedly involved in some shady bet with Cartman. So why...?
Why did she never notice how the color schemes of their outfits matched so well?
Why did she have no issue whatsover imagining herself in these pictures?
Why didn't she feel disgusted or uncomfortable at this pair?
Why did her heart start beating so fast?
Realizing that she had gotten so tense that she had literally forgotten to breathe, Wendy closed her eyes and calmly tried to sort out her thoughts.
"C-Calm down, Wendy Testaburger. It's just art. This is nothing to freak out about..." She took a deep breath, then softly slapped her cheeks to regain her composure. "S-Sure, it's a bit scary how this pairing became so popular in a single day... But I'm sure this fad won't last more than a week. It will be fine."
It will be fine...
...
...
"Good Morning South Park, and welcome to Channel 4 News. We are Tom and Tammy Thompson, here to bring you the latest scoops." The man named Tom Thompson said resting his arms on the table before him and his right hand on top of his left one. To his right was his sister, Tammy Thompson, who looked at the camera with equal professionalism. Behind them, to their left, was a screen showing a picture of the silhouette of a certain superhero, under the title of 'SPECIAL REPORT'.
"Today we are going to take a look at the most recent appearance of the infamous superhero Mysterion, as well as present information of a possible relationship between the vigilante and a charming little heroine that goes by the name of Call Girl. No doubt, the tale of the romance between these two enforcers of justice will be told all over the world for many years to come." Tammy Thompson continued. By the way, she sleeps with her own brother. Crazy huh?
Tom took over once again. "One of our reporters is already at the scene interviewing the witnesses and collecting statements. On the screen now is a Midget wearing a Bikini."
The screen cuts to the front entrance of South Park Elementary. The streets were bustling with activity: Paparazzi were taking pictures of the school, the police tried to keep them from entering the premises, several students and bystanders could be seen on the background talking to the press or between themselves. At the center of the screen stood a reporter with short black hair, a black mustache, short hairy legs and a pink bikini. He was standing next to his interviewee while holding a microphone.
"Tom, I'm here at South Park Elementary, where Mysterion was last seen - as the witnesses have put, 'beating up a bunch of pussy f*ggots'. According to testimonies, this happens to be the second time Mysterion has shown up at this school in the span of two days. This is, however, the first time we've learned of the existence of a possible partner and love interest for the lone hero. Standing next to me is Wendy Testaburger, a witness of what transpired." He held the microphone towards the girl. "Wendy, can you tell us your thoughts about the incident?"
Wendy couldn't move. Her expression was a mix of confusion, shock, and plain disbelief as she silently cursed her own existence. For several seconds, the screen stood in an uncomfortable silence as Wendy's eyes nervously darted between the reporter and at the camera, her brain unable to form any sentences or even process what was going on.
"Uh... I-" Before she could continue, the microphone was taken away from her.
"Tom, as you can see, the community is restless and dying to know what exactly is the relationship between the two heroes. It is speculated by the masses as well as by police experts that their paths crossed thanks to a mutual desire to enforce justice and protect the weak, and that their romance most likely involves making love to each other numerous times a day, perhaps even with kinky roleplay. Here now on the screen are some of the imagery created by some of the witnesses, portraying what their love affair is probably like." Soon after he said that, the screen cuts to show several fan artworks showing Call Girl and Mysterion passionately making out.
The screen then cuts to a different person. "What do you think about Mysterion and Call Girl?" The Midget wearing a Bikini's voice could be heard, his arm extending from off-screen to hold a microphone next to the new interviewee.
"I think they're both posers and total assholes!" A fat bystander yelled, visibly angry. In his shirt it could be read 'Who is the Coon?' "If anyone should be famous and get a show on Netflix, it's The Coon! I bet these two bastards are just trying to claim The Coon's heroic deeds for themselves!"
The screen cuts again, this time showing an old man wearing a green hat. "I think these two are on the side of justice, but... They were also pretty violent."
The screen cuts again, this time showing a woman with short black hair and a yellow shirt. "I think these two were pretty violent. However, I also think they are on the side of justice."
The screen cuts again, this time showing a familiar girl with a pink hat and an amused blonde standing next to her. "Weeell... I guess these two make a cute couple!" The blonde grinned, while her friend had the same comically shocked expression from earlier, her confused eyes moving from her friend then to the camera in an endless loop. "Buuut, just in case they're not actually dating or anything... I feel that instead of Call Girl, maybe Mysterion should 'Call Me'. Don't you agree, my dear friend Wendy?" She winked.
For a brief second, the girl with the pink beret's expression seemed to turn into an annoyed scowl aimed at her friend, but the screen was cut again right afterwards, this time to an adult man wearing a bright green collared shirt and blue pants. He was slightly overweight, had a protruding chin, large ears, and sports curled brown hair.
"What do you think about Mysterion and Call Girl?" He was asked the same question.
"I think that if Call Girl was an eight-year-old boy, and Mysterion was my penis, then-" Before the man could finish the camera and microphone were hastility moved to face elsewhere, Several shocked people could be seen reacting to his statement in the background. The man, however, kept following and trying to stand in front of the camera to continue speaking. "And if the sixth graders were a tube of-!"
The screen cuts to the sound and image of static, which is soon revealed to be a zoomed in Tom Thompson holding a painting of static and making sounds with his mouth. He eventually realizes that his gimmick was exposed and throws the painting again, soon fixing his perplexed expression back into his serious one. Oh, and he sleeps with his sister, in case you didn't know.
"Ahem. Our team will continue to investigate the incident to gather as much information as possible about the two heroes. While the details of their relationship are still uncertain, one thing is for sure: South Park feels safer than ever with these two around."
...
Back to the present...
...
"My head hurts..." The girl muttered to herself as she recalled the earlier events and thought about what was yet to come. She sighed, using her arm to support her head against the school bus's window, looking exhausted.
Bebe offered a reassuring smile and a shoulder rub. "Hey now, it'll be fine. Look at it this way, Call Girl's situation could be much worse."
"How so?" Wendy gulped, somewhat scared to ask.
"Well... People could be rooting for her and Cartman or something."
Wendy pretended to vomit. "Urk... Thanks for nightmare fuel."
Bebe laughed. "But seriously, don't think too much about it."
"...It's kind of hard to when you're literally looking at fan arts of Call Girl and Mysterion right next to me." Wendy rolled her eyes, trying hard not to peek or give any signs that she was actually interested in the artworks her friend had purcharsed. At one point she turned her head towards the window and genuinely tried to look outside. But her eyes just focused on the reflection on the glass, where all the infuriatingly amazing drawings could be seen. And unfortunately, as soon as her eyes locked on to the images, she just couldn't ignore them.
"Sorry bestie, but I'm not sorry. These look cute and I fully intend to fangirl over them for at least the next 4 to 5 business days." Having said that in her usual playful tone, Bebe nonchalantly picked another drawing from the small pile in her lap to peruse it's contents. "But don't worry, I know how this whole situation has been pretty stressful to you. So I just want you to know that I'm on your side, and that you can reach out to me anytime if you need to talk."
"Bebe..." Wendy turned to look at the blonde. At times like these, she felt really lucky to have such a reliable best friend-
"But I'm still totally going to tease you."
...And in a second, Wendy's mental image of Bebe was shattered.
...
Later that day...
...
"...It's been a while since I've been here. This place sure has changed..." Wendy thought as she exited the school bus, looking at her surroundings.
It was hard to associate the current state of SoDoSoPa with what was once a commercial district bustling with activity. Back when she visited the place with her family and sometimes with her friends, South Park was in the middle of an economic boost, pushed by the sheer desire of all it's inhabitants of having a Whole Foods installed in the town; and also to dissociate South Park's nationwide public image from the absurd views of their deranged president. As a result, the city's best efforts to at least look like a great place to live were focused on SoDoSoPa, which gave birth to several stores and restaurants that brought new life to South Park and it's internal and external market. Part of Wendy lamented the fact that the place now looked like a dumpster, result of it's war against the opposing shopping district CtPaTown. But of course, that's not why she was there.
A few minutes earlier, she parted with her obnoxious best friend Bebe under the excuse that she had to stop by her own home before heading to the blonde's house for some more Game of Thrones. But her actual destination was actually the run-down house surrounded by the remnants of SoDoSoPa; home of the infamous hero that people were now shipping her with. She figured that instead
Being there made her heart beat faster for some reason, completely killing all the exhaustion from her awful day and replacing it with something akin to anxiety.
"Calm down Wendy... As the class president, you're just here to bring today's homework to an absent classmate. It just so happens that said classmate doesn't have a phone you can send the assignments to, so you have no choice but to come here." Wendy told herself, trying not to think about the fact that doing this was in no way part of her responsibilities and that she had completely different reasons for being there.
The atmosphere around Kenny's house was oppresive. Several homeless people took shelter in the abandoned SoDoSoPa buildings, making the place very inhospitable, especially when they all eyed her like she was some kind of rare mythical creature. The air was filled with the stench of urine and fecal matter, and overall there was just way too much trash and junk scattered all over the house's frontyard. And of course, the house itself was... certainly nothing to brag about. Part of her felt bad for Kenny's family's financial situation, but the another part of her felt bad for wanting to leave this place as soon as possible and never come back.
She shook her head. Overcoming her uncertainty, she timidly approached the house. After a few taking deep breaths and preparing herself mentally, she brought her hand to the doorbell and pressed the button.
Unconsciously, she started fixing her hair and adjusting her hat as she waited for someone to answer the door, feeling even more anxious. Was it weird of her to be there? Should she have brought him something, like medicine or snacks? He did seem pretty injured that day. What if there was no one home? What if her being there blew their cover somehow?
Wendy was about to turn and leave when she heard footsteps approaching the door. Taking another deep breath, she tried to maintain a neutral and polite expression as she waited for it to open.
But when it did, her eyes just widened in shock and confusion.
The person at the door seemed equally surprised to see her there. They were wearing a bejeweled white and purple dress with gold trims, gold shoulder guards, and white gloves over. In addition, they were also wearing a styled golden-blond wig with wrapped ends and topped with a golden headdress, all of these worn over a very familiar orange parka.
Wendy was frozen in place, completely speechless. Back when the idea of visiting Kenny's house to check up on him popped in her head, she had mentally prepared herself in advance for what to expect and what to talk to him about. But never in her wildest dreams would she have expected to find him dressed up in what was clearly a princess costume. She simply had absolutely no idea how to react to this, and clearly neither did he.
"[U-Uh... W... Wendy?]"
The Testaburger blinked several times, trying to break out of her trance and reconnect with reality. But she had completely forgotten how to speak.
Just then, someone approached the 'princess' from behind. "Who is it, Ken? Is mom back?" Wendy heard an innocent childish voice from behind the boy, and soon enough, a pair of curious eyes peeked at her from behind her brother.
Said eyes immediately sparkled with excitement. "It's Wendy!" Karen exclaimed excitedly, moving past Kenny to approach the dumbfounded volleyball captain she admired. Much like her brother, she was also donning some simple royal attire, and there was a rather cute crown in her head.
At this, Wendy was finally able to grab a hold of herself, focusing her attention to the beaming young girl in front of her. "...Hey Karen." She said trying to sound natural, but failing miserably. Karen didn't seem to notice.
"What are you doing here?" The young girl asked, visibly happy.
"Oh, I... I..." She said, once again taking notice of the crossdressing boy and trying hard not to let her mind go blank in confusion.
Now it was Karen who was starting to feel confused. That's when Kenny spoke. "[Uh... She probably came here to see how were doing, my Queen.]" Kenny then awkwardly turned to Wendy "[Uh... Would you... like to come inside?]"
Wendy considered the offer with hesitation, as she was still confused and wondering if she had been transported to a different dimension.
Karen's eyes sparkled with excitement. At that moment, Wendy knew she couldn't possibly refuse. "...Sure."
"Yay!" Karen beamed, grabbing Wendy's hand and pulling her inside. "Come with me! I want to show you my kingdom!"
A stunned Wendy just nodded, letting herself get dragged around the house by the younger girl. As they moved, Wendy took notice that the insides of the house were at least somewhat more welcoming than it's exterior and surroundings. There was also no stench except maybe a faint smell of alcohol and tobacco.
When she came back to herself, Wendy realized that Karen had led her to a bedroom. It was surprisingly spacious, but she soon took notice that there were two beds there, which suggested that it was a shared room. When it came to furniture, all the room had was a two-drawer dresser that was pretty much falling apart. Much like the rest of the house, from what Wendy was able to see, the walls were painted in depressing tone of dark green, but there were crayon doodles of flowers and butterflies that gave the room a bit of life. There was also a drawing of a window taped to one of the walls, clearly meant to compensate the lack of an actual window. The scenery outside of the drawn window was happy, as it had a bright blue sky and even a smiling sun.
Wendy felt a little sad seeing the state of that room, but she soon focused her attention on what Karen wanted to show her. There were a few toys and plushies lined up in one of the beds. One of them was a grimy doll that Wendy has seen Karen bring to school, one was the Chinpokomon Pengin, and the other was a muscular action figure of a mean looking man. Wendy assumed that toy belong to Kenny.
"These are my loyal servants." Karen explained, forcing a royal-esque tone as Wendy took notice that she was role-playing as a queen. "That is the second Princess, Mary, that is the kingdom's beast and mascot, Pengu, and that is the Mercenary, Guts." After a few seconds of silence, Karen turned an impatient glance towards Kenny, which a confused Wendy followed.
"[Oh, uh... And I... am the first princess, Kenny...]" The boy bowed respectfully and faked his best feminine voice, but internally he wanted to kill himself out of pure cringe.
Karen seemed satisfied with that, so she turned back to Wendy. "And I am the one and only, Queen Karen! Welcome to the McCormick kingdom!" She said excitedly.
...
...
"Um... Could you tell me where the bathroom is?" Wendy asked calmly.
"Of course, my dear guest!" Karen continued her act, clearly enjoying herself. "It's the door to the left!"
"...Thanks. Then, excuse me..." Wendy said quietly as she left the room.
...
"...Oh my fucking god, why is this happening..." A restless Kenny thought as he tried to process the fact that Wendy was not only in his house, but that she had also witnessed him in one of the most embarrasing moments of his life. He couldn't even bring himself to look at his classmate as she passed by him, unsure of what to even expect from this encounter. It's not like she hadn't seen him crossdress before, as he had worn the exact same attire back when the boys were playing their fantasy game with the New Kid. But he still couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through Wendy's mind now. He wouldn't be surprised if she had actually used the bathroom as an excuse to leave the house and never come back.
"Kenny, do you think she liked our fantasy world?" Karen whispered, breaking out of her character.
"[...I'm sure she did, my qu- I mean, Karen.]" He said, trying to sound genuine, but had trouble hiding his concern.
His pessimistic mind immediately assumed that in her mind he was now nothing more than a weirdo, and for whatever reason, that made him feel anxious. He couldn't explain why he felt so nervous, but the thought of Wendy thinking less of him... It bothered him.
"Why do I feel so uneasy?" Kenny thought, his mind racing. "It's not like I'm doing anything wrong. I'm sure that if I explain things to Wendy, she'll understand that I'm just playing around with my sister. So why am I shitting bricks at the idea of her thinking I'm some kind of pervert? ...I mean, I totally am, but... I don't want her to misunderstand and start hating me." He brought a hand to his chest. His heart was beating fast, pulsating waves of fear from his chest to his whole body. He felt shivers run down his spine. The feeling was often accompanied by the cold touch of death; almost like an omen that something bad would happen.
Eventually, much to Kenny's surprise, Wendy actually returned. But that by itself wasn't what made his eyes widen in complete shock. Rather, it was Wendy's attire.
Instead of her casual clothes, Wendy was instead wearing an outfit he never thought he'd see again. Her pink beret and yellow pants were the same, but covering her torso was a cardboard pink and purple armor, complete with long pink sleeves, pink shoulderplates, and an additional gray heart-shaped armor piece covering the area of her chest; a small flower drawn in the middle of it. In one of her hands she was holding a small sword, and in her other hand she held a shield the size of a frisbee, both also made of cardboard. Her shield had a huge drawing of a pink flower in the middle, which was surrounded by a brown ring covering the 'edges' of the circle; a pattern of small white and pink hearts decorating it.
She suddenly kneeled down and grabbed Karen's hand. "My queen." Her voice was dignified and noble. Her head was down and her eyes were closed in such a serene expression that for a brief second, both McCormicks could have easily mistaken the girl for an actual warrior. "I am a humble knight of South Park, Shieldmaiden Wendy. I have come to these lands looking for the greatest empire to ever exist, and it seems my journey has finally come to an end." She raised her head, locking eyes with the dumbfounded yourger girl. "Your highness, Queen Karen... Would you let me join your kingdom?"
Both of the McCormick's were speechless. Is Karen's case, she was overflowing with such an intense feeling of amazement that she could barely restrain how pleasantly surprised she was, to the point where she could barely restrain a scream.
In Kenny's case, he felt pretty much the same as his sister; extremely surprised yet equally thrilled at this unexpected turn of events. The timing of Wendy's entrance and the way she joined their game was so perfect that he couldn't help but wonder if he was dreaming.
...And holy shit, she looked hot in that outfit.
...
...
The rest of the afternoon went by smoothly. Both Kenny and Wendy entertained a restless Karen in their fantasy game for a while, all three of them having quite a lot of fun. Eventually, Karen expended all of her energy and fell asleep.
Wendy set alone in a couch at the McCormick's living room, patiently waiting for her friend's return. Now wearing her casual clothes once again, she studied her surroundings for a while until Kenny came back, now also wearing his regular clothes.
"Is Karen still resting?" Wendy asked.
"[Yeah, sleeping like a log. I'll make sure to wake her up before dinner.]" He said as he sat next to Wendy.
The room was silent for a moment, both finally processing the fact that they, a boy and a girl, were now alone and sitting mere inches from each other. Despite both being tired themselves, their nervousness was starting to come back.
"[S-So, uh...]" Kenny started, feeling uncomfortable. "[Sorry we dragged you into our game. You must've been pretty confused.]"
"I really was at first. But that's alright, I really enjoyed myself, and most importantly, so did Karen."
"[Yeah... She was pretty happy.]"
More silence. Both wanted to keep the atmosphere from getting awkward, but they were both also having trouble finding the right words to say.
"So..." Wendy started. "I'm sure we both have a lot of questions."
"[...Yeah.]"
"Then... How about we take turns asking each other what we want to know?"
"[Sounds fair. Then, I'll start by-]"
"What happened to 'ladies first'?"
"[Oh, right... Ok, go ahead.]"
Wendy smiled, satisfied. "Well then... Let's start with something simple. Yesterday, what happened after I ran away with Karen?"
Kenny nodded. "[...Not much happened after that. I planned on using that smoke bomb you gave me to escape, but I didn't think that thing would cover the entire playground. That douche sixth grader was so angry that he started yelling at the top of his lungs. I was able to figure out where he was from the noise, so I punched his balls. Then I escaped by climbing the tree and jumping over the red wall.]"
"...I see." Wendy listened intently. Most of what he told me aligned with what she already knew. "But how did-"
He brought his index finger to her lip. "[Nuh-uh, it's my turn now.]"
Wendy would have felt annoyed, but she actually felt embarrased by his touch. Kenny himself didn't seem to notice or care about what he did.
"[Alright, so... Why did you come here?]"
"Shouldn't it be obvious?! I was worried sick-" Wendy stopped in her tracks, pretending to cough to hide the fact that she almost said something pretty embarrasing. "I-I mean... Since you were absent from class today, as the class president, I came to bring you today's homework." She said, pulling an envelope from her bag and handing it to him.
"[Argh... I don't want it.]"
"Well, too bad, because since I'm hand delivering this to you I'm going to check whether you did it or not" She cracked her knuckles playfully
"[...Since when do class presidents do deli-]
"Shut up. It's my turn." She declared before he could finish a question to which she had no excuses for. "Alright, so I need to know... You're not someone impersonating Kenny, are you?"
Kenny blinked. "[Uh... No?]"
"Prove it."
"[...The fuck?]"
"Why do you look so surprised that I'm asking this? Didn't you literally ask someone to dress up and pretend to be you yesterday?"
"[Well... Yes, but-]"
"Then hurry up and prove it, because this has been confusing for long enough." She ordered.
"[Okay, okay, geez...]" Kenny dramatically raised two hands defensively, then brought them to his hood and slowly pulled it back, revealing his face and messy blond hair. "There, are you satisfied?" He asked.
Wendy was momentarily stunned. Part of the reason why she demanded proof was because she actually wanted to see what he looked like. As far as she could remember, this was probably the second time she had seen his unhooded face or heard his voice without him intentionally making it rougher as Mysterion. The first time seemed like ages ago, so her memory was hazy. All she could remember was that around that time she was being courted by a boy named Gregory who she somewhat entertained in hopes of making Stan jealous. Holy shit, she was so immature...
But that aside, she was certainly not prepared for the fact that Kenny actually looked and sounded good, which left her shocked as to how she could have possibly forgotten about it. "Wendy...?" He asked, looking confused.
"O-Oh! Yeah, I'm satisfied. Thank you." She said, looking away. The realization that she was sitting alone next to a cute boy made her flustered.
"Alright then." He said, covering his face once again, much to Wendy's disappointment, but also to her relief. The last thing she wanted was for his good looking features to distract her. "[So, let me ask... It seems you found out about Butters. But how, exactly? I told him not to talk to anyone.]"
"Oh, you're not gonna believe this..." Wendy said, feeling annoyed as she remembered. She then explained in detail how she found him in the girls's locker room, inside her personal locker of all places. She told him how lucky Butters was that she was the one who had found him, otherwise any of the other girls might have called the principal to have him punished, or they could have even stripped him naked and beaten him up.
"[...I can't fucking believe this...]" Kenny muttered, rubbing his temple.
"Right?! You really should pick a better doppelganger next time, because..." Wendy went on rambling about how stupid and reckless Butters was, but Kenny was far into his own mind by then.
"That... fucking... lucky bastard! Hiding inside the girls' changing room while they were inside?! He must have seen some good shit... And being stripped naked by several girls and having your balls kicked? Holy shit... That actually sounds awesome. I may have unlocked a new fetish..."
"...Kenny? Hello?" Wendy called, snapping her fingers in front of his face.
That seemed to bring him back to reality. "[Ah? What?]"
"Geez. Were you not listening?"
"[Sorry, sorry. You were saying?]"
Wendy sighed. "I was telling you that it's my turn again. The next thing I need to know is: How did your injuries heal so fast?"
Kenny bit his lip. "[Oh that... I wasn't all that injured.]"
Wendy didn't buy it. "Bullshit. I'm sure you had a purple eye, not to mention several bruises."
Kenny sighed. He knew he'd have trouble answering this question. After all, how do you tell someone that you can 'heal' any wound by literally dying then waking up the next day as if nothing happened? Which is exactly what happened this time around. After the fight, the adrenaline wore off and Kenny's body finally felt the effects of the beating he took. He was pretty sure he had a few broken ribs, and one of his legs was also in extreme pain; most likely he had fractured his ankle. There was no way Kenny could show up to school or at home with all these injuries; it'd basically be the same as admitting he was Mysterion. So to solve this problem, Kenny headed to Stark's lake... And shot himself in the head, like many times before in the past.
He also knew that showing up with no injuries would alert those who already knew of his identity, especially someone as sharp as Wendy, which is why planned on skipping class for a few days. But he never expected her to visit him. I mean, even his friends avoided visiting him because of how shit his house is. So why on earth did Wendy of all people decide to check on him? He didn't know whether to feel lucky or annoyed.
"[...Alright. I didn't want to admit it, but they did quite a number on me. But I don't know what to tell you, I just healed pretty fast. I used an ice pack for my swollen eye and it went back to normal soon; it didn't even actually get purple. As for other injuries, most were superficial scratches, nothing serious. I think the worst of all that were the balloons; I swear I can still feel the stench sometimes... But then again it's probably coming from the hobos outside, haha...]"
Wendy wasn't sure what to make of his answer. I mean, there had to be an explanation, no one can heal THAT fast. But admittedly, she had no idea how injured he actually was, and it's not like she could accuse him of lying when she couldn't even come up with something that would explain the speed at which his body healed. If one thing was for certain, is that she was glad that he was alright. But there was no way she'd say that out loud. "Hm... Fine, let's leave it at that. I don't want to remember these balloons."
Kenny sighed in relief. "[Ok, my turn again. Now... Why did you bring your shieldmaiden outfit?]"
"I'm actually going to Bebe's house after this. The girls and I are going to do a photoshoot inspired on Game of Thrones for fun, so we're all bringing the costumes we used to play with you boys. Bebe would probably have invited you if you had gone to class today."
"[O-Oh, is that so...]" "FUCK! I wanted to see those outfits again... Why do I keep missing all this good shit?" He thought.
"Which leads to my next question. Why didn't you go to school today?"
"[...It's because of Karen.]" He sighed. "[She's worried sick about her 'guardian angel' on top of being very scared to go back to school. I've been trying to play with her to cheer her up, but I think she's still going to need some time.]"
"...I understand. Poor girl..."
"[Yeah.]" Kenny clenched his fist. ["I haven't been able to wear the outfit and visit her because she's been so scared of being alone lately that she's been sleeping in my room. Those fucking sixth graders...!]"
Wendy brought a hand to his shoulder, feeling sympathetic. "I'm really sorry about everything you two have been through, especially her. But don't worry, I doubt they'll mess with her again."
"[They better not.]" He sighed again, rubbing his eyes in frustration. "[Anyway, let's change the subject. It's my turn now, right? Let's see...]" Kenny spent a few seconds in silence. "[...There's... something I've been meaning to ask.]" He said, suddenly looking nervous.
Wendy raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"
"[Well... Uh, you see... I, uh, watched the news today.]" He threw her a side glance, hoping she'd pick up on what he was getting at so that he wouldn't have to say it out loud.
It took a while for Wendy to understand what he was referring to, but when she did she also grew noticably shy. "...Oh." She fought against a blush, avoiding eye contact by looking at the floor.
"[Yeah... So, I guess what I wanted to ask is... A-Are you... ok with that?]"
"W-With what exactly?" She asked, her heart beating faster.
Kenny was getting restless as well, feeling unsure if it was a good idea to bring that up. "[U-Uh... You know... I was just hoping that things wouldn't get awkward between us. I mean, technically, people are losing their minds over Call Girl and Mysterion, not ourselves specifically, but even so, it's hard to ignore that the entire town is misunderstanding everything. I'm sure it will be difficult at school too... But I don't want this 'trend' to get in the way of our relationship... Uh, our friendship!]" He corrected himself, embarrased. "[So... I just wanted to know how you're feeling about all this.]" He finished, still unable to look at her.
Wendy's eyes were glued to the floor. She fidgeted by playing with her hair, her heart beating so fast that it felt like it could explode in her chest. "W-Well... I..." Kenny nervously threw a glance in her direction. "I mean, it sure is weird... I've rooted for couples the exact same way before, like with Tweek and Craig... But I've never expected to be in the spotlights myself. It's being a little overwhelming, with how much people are hyping it up. B-But... I feel the same as you. It sure is embarrassing, but I... guess... I'm ok with it."
Kenny's heart skipped a beat. "[...You... are?]"
"Yeah... I don't mind."
"[I see... That's... good...]" He mumbled, unsure about what to say.
"...What about you?"
"[Huh...?]"
"Are you... ok with this? With people... talking about us...?"
Kenny blushed, but thankfully his parka kept it hidden. "[...I...]" His heart was beating faster. "[I... guess I'm-]"
Before Kenny could finish the sentence, the atmosphere was ruined by Wendy's dreadful Jonas Brothers ringtone, which for the first and last time in his life, Kenny was actually thankful for, as it earned him time to collect his thoughts. Wendy herself immediately focused her attention on the buzzing phone, also taking the opportunity to escape the pressure and awkwardness of their current situation and sort her thoughts. "U-Um... I need to pick it up. It's Bebe..."
"[S-Sure... Go ahead.]"
Nodding, Wendy answered the call and moved away a bit to talk to her friend. Temporarily left alone, the boy sighed, overwhelmed by what just happened. One look at his hands and he found out that they were trembling. Whether out of fear, anxiety or excitement, he couldn't tell.
"[Man... What a day.]" He thought out loud. Realizing Wendy could come back at any moment, he decided to keep his thoughts in his head. Staring absentmindedly at the turned off TV in front of him, he lost himself in his reveries.
"If someone told me I'd spend an afternoon roleplaying a fantasy game with Wendy, I'd probably assume they'd been getting high on cat piss. I mean, holy shit... It's already crazy to think that she's in my house... Not even the guys come here that often. Not that I blame them, my house is pretty shit... But still. It's hard to believe she's here."
Unconsciously, he turned his head towards the kitchen, where he could see Wendy talking on her phone. He couldn't hear what she was saying, but even so, he found himself watching her for a few seconds.
"...Wendy really is pretty, huh?" He thought, admiring her profile.
That's when he noticed something was... different.
There was a cute girl within his line of sight. In a situation like this, what Kenny would have expected of himself was for him to Eventually he snapped out of his trance, looking away before she could catch him staring.
"I didn't think she'd be fine with it..." He thought, finding himself smiling at the revelation. "I don't know why, but that makes me pretty happy. I mean, I know there's nothing actually going on, but... I'm glad she doesn't look grossed out to be shipped with someone like me."
He spent a few moments reminiscing the past few days. Befriending Wendy, being assisted by her with talking to Nelly, becoming closer to her friends, and of course, their alliance in yesterday's battle. From the start, he felt something special about Wendy and the friendship he built with her, but he could never put a finger on what it was exactly. He then thought about the images that flashed on his TV screen earlier. They were definitely shocking, that's for sure. But more than that... They made Kenny feel weird. Not because people were having strange fantasies featuring him... But rather, because something about the pictures resonated well with him. At first he concluded that what he liked about the artworks were the fact that he was pictured as a total badass. But the more he thought about it... The more he appreciated the fact that it was Wendy in the images with him.
Before Wendy could leave, she suddenly stopped in her tracks once she remembered something important.
"Hey, Kenny." She turned back towards him. "I know I was the last one to ask a question, but there's something I need to know before I go. It's actually part of the reason of why I came here today."
"[...What's up?]" He asked, confused by the change in her demeanor. She suddenly seemed... different.
"I heard something recently... That you and Stan have been fighting. Is that true?"
Kenny bit his lip. Another question he didn't want to answer. His eyes avoided hers. "[...Who told you that?]"
"Butters. Is it true?" She asked again.
"[...Tsk, that Butters...]" He muttered before facing the girl properly. "[I wouldn't say we've been fighting. But I think he's angry with me.]"
"Why?"
"[Hey now... Shouldn't it be my turn to ask a question?]" He asked, but she knew he was trying to change the subject or at least delay it. Her expression was serious, and he could tell that she wanted these answers more than any other. Kenny sighed. "[It's nothing serious. I just think he's unhappy with us becoming friends.]"
"...Wait, what?"
"[...Yeah, that's pretty much it. I didn't feel like it was worth involving you. 'Figured I could just talk to him in private later once he cooled his-]"
"Hold on, Kenny. So you're saying this... 'quarrel', is because of me?"
The boy was confused. He expected a different reaction from her. She seemed... suspicious of something. "[Well... Yes.]"
Wendy's brows furrowed. There were a few unsettling seconds of silence as Kenny tried to understand the sudden change in her demeanor.
"Alright, listen, Kenny. I actually wouldn't put it behind Stan to do something like this. He has always been a... complicated boyfriend, to say the least. But there's something that has been bothering me about this story."
Kenny felt anxious for some reason. He had the same feeling of portent that was usually followed by a painful death, but he couldn't figure out why the atmosphere was growing so tense. "[And what's that?]"
Wendy took a deep breath. "Like I said, I learned of this story from Butters. And when he told me about it, he seemed to imply that... that this fight between you two had something to do with a bet with Cartman."
When these words reached his ears, Kenny froze.
"But you're telling me this fight is actually over me... Which is it? Because both explanations are quite different, and I can't see why-" Wendy stopped, suddenly realizing something disturbing. "W... Wait." She looked into the boy's eyes. "Is... Is there a connection? Between this bet and me...? ...Between us?"
Time seemed to stop. Kenny could feel a drop of sweat trailing down his neck as he was suddenly assaulted with a strong wave of anxiety and nausea, unable to move or think out of shock and... fear. His eyes widened and grew agitated, avoiding eye contact with her at all costs. These didn't go unnoticed by Wendy.
"Wait... This reaction... So it's true?" She asked, starting to feel anxious herself. "I... I don't understand. Kenny, what am I missing here? What was this bet about?" She inquired again. But Kenny didn't answer. His face had gone pale, and his eyes grew agitated. Suddenly there was sweat in his forehead as well. Wendy could see he was visibly shaken. And that only made her even more agitated. "Why aren't you answering me?!" She said, getting angry.
"[W-Wendy... Calm down. I'll explain.]" He said, but he was clearly ready to run away at any second. "[I... really did a bet with Cartman, and I lost.]"
"I concluded as much. But what was the punishment?" She demanded impatiently. "Did Cartman tell you to pretend to my friend? To learn things about me so that he can mock me again for no reason?!"
"[No!]" Kenny retorted immediately. "[It was nothing of the sort! There's no way I'd ever do something like this.]" He yelled, somewhat desperate.
"Then what was it?!"
"[He...!]" Kenny started, but was actually scared to say it. "[The punishment... Was that... I had to watch the girls's volleyball practice for a while.]"
This time it was Wendy who froze, stunned into speechlessness. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped a bit. She was so confused that she actually had to take a few steps back. "Wait... Wait wait wait. Are you telling me... That you started coming to our practices... Because you lost a bet... to Cartman?" She said, having trouble processing the information.
Kenny was genuinely mortified that the truth came out like this. The few minutes ago, where they were having fun asking each other questions, or the past hour where they were roleplaying together felt so distant now. What could he even say at a time like this? Was there even anything that could make the atmosphere less heavy?
"[Wendy...]" He started, looking at the floor in shame. "[It's true... That's the reason why I started coming to your practices and games. But please... You have to believe me when I say that I came to appreciate them. I don't visit your practices because of this bet... I do it because I know you and your team are passionate about the sport, and it's something amazing to watch.]" He said, finally finding the courage to face her, hoping that she could feel that he was being genuine.
Silence. Wendy's expression was unreadable, and her gaze as fixed to the floor. Eventually, she sighed. "...Why should I believe you?" Her tone was cold and filled with distrust.
"[...Wendy-]"
"How can I believe anything you say now?" She finally turned to look at him. Kenny felt like he had been stabbed with a knife coated in acid. The look of shock and betrayal in Wendy's face hurt him more than any death he went through. "It's one thing for you boys to not like or care about girls playing volleyball. At this point... we're used to having no spectators." She paused. Her tone had a hint of sadness. Then suddenly, her expression grew into one of anger. "But using our matches in some kind of punishment game? How dare you!"
"[Will you listen to me?! I won't deny that at first I wasn't fond of the idea of watching girls's volleybal either! But after I gave it a try, I've honestly come to admire you and everyone in the team, and I really want to keep watching and supporting you all!]"
"You mean you want to keep watching for as long as this secret bet tells you to, right? Or is there more to the punishment that you're being forced to do? Is pretending to be my friend part of it after all?!"
"[I already said I'd never do something like this! I would never toy around with someone's feelings! I am not like Cartman!]" Kenny got angry. "[Why are you insisting on this point? Do I really look like someone with ulterior motives to you?!]"
"You don't! And that's exactly what pisses me off! Because back when you first showed up to our practice, you told me you were interested in volleyball - in our game! You told me you were glad to be there, that it was a shame there wasn't a volleyball team for boys! And I believed you! But clearly you were there for a different reason, so what do you call that?!"
"[You know one thing doesn't exclude the other, right? Even if I had another reason to be there that I didn't tell you about, that doesn't mean I can't enjoy volleyball, does it?! Or did the games I watched mean nothing?! Or the fact that I never caused any trouble?!]"
"Don't try to twist the narrative! It doesn't matter if you liked volleyball back then or even now! The point is that you've been lying to me!"
"[I didn't lie!]"
Wendy angrily approached him, and stabbed a finger into his chest. "When Heidi looked into your eyes, crying, begging you to tell her you were not there because of Cartman, what did you answer?"
"[Wendy-]"
"What was your answer?!"
"[She asked if I was there to spy on her for Cartman! And I told her that I wasn't, because that's the truth! I was there because of my friends! If I hadn't taken the punishment, they'd have been the ones to follow Cartman's orders!]"
"Seriously? You actually have the nerve to say 'that was true'?! Do you think eating someone's food with your eyes closed then telling said person 'you didn't see what happened to their food' makes you any less of a liar? Just because you're 'technically telling the truth'?!" She inquired him furiously. "Who cares about the circumstances or what your motivation was! How dare you act righteous when you've been lying to everyone - to me, all this time!"
"[Fine! You have a point, alright?! I know I haven't been honest from the start, I'm not proud of it! But how fucking could I?! Don't you remember the reception I got from your friends when I first got there? And you girls wonder why no one watches your stupid games!]"
Kenny expected another heated retort from the girl in front of him. But instead, he was met with silence and an expression of shock. That's when he finally realized what he had said, his anger immediately dissipating into regret.
"Kenny...? Wendy...?" They both heard a soft voice and turned to find a sad looking Karen. "Are you fighting...?"
"[Karen...]" Kenny was about to make some excuse when someone moved past him and forcefully opened his front door, leaving the house. He immediately followed after said person, watching her receding back with nothing but remorse and self-loathing.
"[Wendy! Please, wait!]" He yelled almost desperately. For whatever miracle, the person stopped, her back still facing him. "[Look, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say what I just did. I was angry and it just came out. Please...!]" He called.
There was silence for a while, and Kenny feared that the girl would start walking again. Until she finally spoke. "...You know what I remember from that day?" She fell silent for a few more seconds. "I remember that when you first showed up and everyone wanted you to go away, I defended you. I remember that when every single one of the girls kept trying to convince me that you were secretly an asshole and had no actual interest in volleyball, I told them to give you a chance. I remember that when my friends started to accept you, I felt happy for you. This whole time... I stood by you. I... I was so happy when you told us you were interested in volleyball. And yet..." She slowly turned to look at him. Tears were streaming down from her eyes; a sad smile on her face. "...I'm really disappointed with you."
Having said that, Wendy turned back and walked away, never looking back. Watching her go, memories of their discussion flashed in Kenny's head along with that sad expression she had in her face. All the things he said, all the things he should have said earlier, all the things he shouldn't have said. Assaulted with a cocktail of complicated feelings, Kenny's legs gave out and he fell to his knees.
Soon enough, he started crying...
...
A/N: Wow, I sure am glad that this chapter didn't take three years to be released, am I right gamers? That would have been awkward.