79) There's A Ghost In My Mouth
Nightmares were one of the things they had in common. Not a great thing, but it did give them a unique perspective into each other's problems. His… he hated. No other way to put it. Twisting sex and rage/disgust and pain together. Nothing he could do about them for the longest time. Until River.
The only way he'd had to deal with them before was wake up, ignore the sick feeling in his gut that came along with the hard on the dreams caused, maybe have sex so he could feel like he was in control again, or get up and do something that didn't require a bed because he couldn't stand to be horizontal anymore.
Control…Conditioning…Grooming…different terms but they all came down to the same thing. Making him feel like he was powerless.
River was the only one who knew. The reason he'd been charged with murder at sixteen. The reason he'd been sent to a juvenile detention until he'd aged out. He'd read somewhere that at one time aging out gave you a clean record, everything that happened before eighteen wiped away. Alliance didn't do that. You broke the law (at least the way he'd broken it) and it followed you forever. One way or another he'd have spent the rest of his life in the penal system. Sigma Three and Strikeforce had been the one thing that might have gotten him out, but the kindest way to describe it was work-release. On the Company leash all his days after. But they'd figured out he couldn't be controlled pretty quick so back to prison he went.
He'd doled out pieces of himself to Carolyn and Jack, Mal to an extent, and Zoë, and they all knew parts of him. River was the only one he'd trusted enough to share everything. Maybe because he could see it in her, the scars from the same kind of wounds he'd carried. Someone had decided to control them both.
She still had secrets. She had all of his and some of her own that she hadn't shared yet. "Not because she doesn't trust him," River had explained. "Just hard to speak about. Hard to think about."
He'd gotten that a little too well. Hadn't he told her to go ahead and just Read his mind to find out what caused those nightmares? Like he suddenly didn't have any words, just couldn't talk about it, hated even thinking about it. She'd tell him when she was ready and he wasn't going to force her into anything just because he wanted to know, wanted equality of secrets between them along with equality in everything else.
She shared his bed every night. Gave lip service to having a room in the dorms. Sparred with him, danced with him, even exchanged tips on flying. He might have an edge with evasive maneuvers, but River knew the physics of every movement and just how far they could push the envelope. And they talked, about the Core, the Rim, how and why people behaved the way they did. When everything seemed too loud and harsh in his ears and nose, River would lie beside him and read poetry aloud so he could just concentrate on the sound of her voice and the scent of her skin. He would give her backrubs when they got to that seventh day so she could recover from a week of tension and cortex screens more quickly and get to doing something she enjoyed.
He got the impression that River had told him more about the Academy than she'd told anyone besides her brother. And Simon knew because he'd been the one to bust her out of there. For all that 'senior' crew members were protective of her, they didn't react to specifics. Like knowing that River couldn't stand steel chopsticks because they looked too much like some of the instruments they used in the labs there. Or how she preferred the arms pushed back on the bridge chairs because she'd been strapped into a chair at that gorram school.
So no, he wasn't going to push her to confide in him. But coming out of a dream, the smell of her terror pulling him awake, he'd give her the same courtesy she'd given him. "River," He growled her name into her ear. "Wake up. You're safe." He rubbed his hand over her stomach and thigh, touch would bring her out of it quicker usually. "Wake up baby." Suck a lovebite into her shoulder, nothing in the Academy equated to that caress and she jerked awake with a low sob.
"Riddick," She turned in his arms and pressed her face to his neck. Rub a hand up and down her spine, ground her, remind her of where she was. Warm, pressed against him, safe in his bunk on Serenity.
"I've got you," He pressed his lips to her hair. "You wanna talk about it?" He offered, every time she had a nightmare. She'd Read him so he didn't have to talk. He couldn't do the same for her, but he could listen. And if she didn't want to talk, he could distract her.
"I…" She took a deep breath, her back pressing to his palms as her lungs expanded. "I think…a bit…please…" She pulled away slightly, looking up at him, "After… will you…distract me?"
"Any way you want," He promised. He had a couple ideas for that already. Dark silky hair over pale skin, beautifully naked against him, it wasn't like distracting her was a hardship. "How do you want to do this? Spine to my chest? So you don't gotta see my eyes?" He had the vague idea (based on his own few experiences) that it was harder to talk about things when someone was looking at you.
"Won't matter," River shook her head and settled against him, her body pressed to his. "Can feel you." She sighed and began to tell him about the Academy. About being recruited at fourteen, a genius studying at the university level, highly intuitive. How the Academy wasn't what they'd said it would be. Training and surgeries. Lost time. Something that should have been almost impossible for a girl with an eidetic memory. Not knowing what they'd done until the drugs wore off, only that everything was getting worse.
And the worst of it. Being shown off to the Parliament and hearing the bloody secret of Miranda in her mind. Like a poison. Desperate to forget and unable to. Unable to do anything except feel. Everything. All at once. "They stripped my amygdale," She said quietly when she came to the end of it. "They took away my ability to control my reactions, to deal with my emotions and everyone else's emotions and thoughts and I still…I could function. Even with the lost time, blackouts that meant surgeries or experiments…I could function. But after Miranda… I… I was really chī xiàn."
"And when the Miranda wave got sent, that helped," He surmised quietly. Oh, he'd love to have five minutes with the tiān shā de èmó who'd thought turning a genius into a Reader by force was a good idea.
"I could tell what was real and what wasn't," River nodded. "Before…it was so horrific…and I'd seen it in their minds…I couldn't tell if it was real. If it was, that was terrifying and so disturbing… and if it wasn't… then I…-what they'd done to me had made me insane. And I couldn't…push it away."
"Mā lege bā zi," Riddick growled and held her closer. Too late to protect her from those yǔ sheng chù hùn zá de bēi wéi nú lì. But he could distract her from the nightmares.
"Yes, please and thank you," River pressed her mouth to his. "Distraction."
"Got some ideas about that," He pictured her naked, wrists tied to the bed, his mouth between her thighs. Turning her over and playing with her ass, putting a nice little plug into it to tease her while he went down on her and then fucked her.
"Like all of it except the tied down part," She slipped her hand between their bodies and wrapped it around his cock, stroking him in that gentle way she had that felt so good. "Like your hands, holding me where you want me." She shivered and he felt her nipples tighten and press against his chest, "Like that you're big and strong and dangerous. No worries about harming you. Breaking you."
"Yeah, I like that you're a damn strong woman," He agreed, his fingers gently pressing her chin up, tilting her face to his so he could kiss the lush mouth. She always felt so good, tasted so perfect under his mouth. "You want me to hold you in place while I play with your pì gu? Keep one of these big hands on you so you can't move while I open you up and push that little plug I bought for you inside? Hmm?"
Now her scent bloomed with warmth and the spice of want and he grinned against her mouth. "Yeah…I think you like the idea…" She was too small to take his dick up her pert little ass comfortably, but he couldn't care less, he loved coming in her tight pussy so much. He chuckled, a dark evil sound that made her shiver and he nipped her shoulder. "Lie back for me baby. Let me see this beautiful body you're giving me to play with."
White skin against dark sheets, dark hair trailing over her shoulders, nipples as dark as her mouth and she pulled her knees back, spreading for him. Flushed pink and slick, her clit starting to swell with blood…perfect. "He…he will…take her rough…after?" She murmured, licking her lips as she looked down his body at the hard on pressing to her hip. "Jerk her on and off his cock?"
"So long as I'm sure you like it," He groaned and kissed her again, working his way down her neck to her breasts. A quick rub of his fingers over his jaw and chin, not too rough yet. He didn't want any scrapes on those beautifully sensitive lips between her thighs. A moan as his mouth closed around one taut nipple and sucked in long slow pulls. Her hips rolled in reaction, and he put his hand on her belly, holding her to the mattress and lifted his mouth from her body, "You stay still baby. As still as you can."
Wide eyes as she nodded, a shiver racing over her skin and he smiled moving to her other breast and giving it the same treatment. Back and forth until she could only moan his name.
Continue down to that gorgeous pussy and slide his tongue through those swollen lips, flick her clit with the tip and hold her hips still with both hands as she jolted against his mouth. He couldn't do this all the time, even he had his ups and downs, but he could do this now, for her, he wanted to. Wanted to feel her coming under his mouth with a scream of his name.
And he knew just how to do it too. Suck and flick and suck and lick at her, tease her a bit, hold those hips firm and still, nip her thigh and keep sucking until he heard that tiny little gasp right before she screamed his name. Lick her through her orgasm before patting her hip, "Turn over onto your stomach and present to me baby." Fuck he loved that she'd just do it, trusting that he would make it good for her. "Gonna fuck you like this River. You'll feel me real deep, and I can get my fingers on that hot little clit and rub you until you're squeezing me dry when you come."
Another moan as she pressed her shoulders to the mattress, hands under her breasts. "That's real good River, play with your tits for me while I play with you."
Gather some of her slick and rub it over that tight little rosebud. Lean over, grab the box from under the bed and pull out the lube and the plug he'd bought for her. Smaller than normal but tiny as she was he didn't want to risk something too big for her comfort.
Use the lube to slicken her up and cup her mound with his palm, fingers surround her sensitive clit, one on each side and one directly over it, stroking back and forth while he used his other hand to open her. Slowly, slowly, work her clit and her ass. She'd told him once, when she rubbed straight up and down the climax came slower, but it felt like it began in the soles of her feet. He wanted that for her, hot, intense, pushing everything out of her mind but pleasure.
"Relax baby, as much as you can…" He coaxed as he put the pointed tip of the plug against her rosebud. "Tell me if it hurts at all." She'd opened for him but tensed at the cool metal of the plug and he leaned down, pressed a kiss to one perfect cheek. "You make me so hard for you River. Seeing you, letting me do this, so wet for me, it's making your thighs slick baby."
"Want you," She moaned and shivered slightly. "Don't stop."
"Okay…little bit now…" The metal had warmed against her skin and in his hand and he pressed forward slightly as he rubbed her clit. A gasp, shocked inhale and he paused until she moaned.
"Unghh…Riddick…yes…please…"
Not in pain then, slowly work it into her, stroke her clit at bit faster now, this worked best if she came when she took the plug up her ass. Associating the act with pleasure would make it much easier for her next time. He groaned as she trembled under his hands, "You're so beautiful River. Taking this so good for me…do you like it? It's okay if you don't, we'll stop. Don't have to do this if you don't like it."
She quivered and her hips moved minutely yes but they pushed back, onto the plug, "Don't stop…push it in me…fill me…please…" He knew that tone, she was close, so close, rub her clit harder now and tease her by withdrawing the plug a bit, the feel of it against that tight ring of muscle, and she gasped again.
"C'mon River, that's right, you're so close aren't you," Bend over her, let her feel his dick pushing against her ass cheek. "Feel how hard you got me? Drippin' precum for you this whole time. Come for me now baby. Come on my hand."
A choked cry of his name, a hot gasp of pleasure and her muffled wail as she came, pushing the plug into her all the way and hearing her moan of lust. "Fuck you look so pretty baby," He groaned and pushed his aching cock into that hot tight channel with a groan of relief. "So tight… tell me River…is it good…or too much?" Damned if he'd do anything that hurt her. He didn't even like the idea of spanking her in play.
"So good…please…please Riddick, fuck me…hard…" River moaned, and he inhaled deeply. Nothing but lust and need in her scent.
"Fuck yes I will," He usually loved fucking a woman like this, dominant, in control, so she had to take everything he wanted. But River…fun to start like this…but now…
Pull her up, kneeling behind her and press her spine to his chest so he could push his hand between her thighs and tug on her clit while he pounded into her. Mouth on her neck, her lips, his hips pummeling against her ass. "So hot and wet, for me baby," He groaned as he held her against his body.
"Yes," She shuddered, and he knew she was close. "All for you Riddick."
"And the cock pounding that sweet tight pussy is for you River," He growled the words against her skin, meant them, for the first time. All he wanted was to stay inside her. Come in her over and over. "You gonna come for me? Hmm…come on that cock I'm giving you?"
"Yes…yes…please…Riddick!" Drink in her moans, screams and feel her body contract, hot and wet around him, losing his grip, snapping his hips up hard and fast, once, twice, third time wasn't enough, couldn't…muscled his way deeper into her, hit the end of her again and again and roar his satisfaction as he finally filled her. Her body would squeeze him dry; he was sure of it; he'd emptied his balls into her.
"Fuck," He was breathing as hard as he had in that damn desert. "Oh baby, so good, so beautiful." He pressed his mouth to her neck. "You lie down on your stomach baby," He eased her off his cock with a groan and helped her lie down. A warm cloth, creams and cleansers, take care of her, clean her up and put everything away, come back to bed and gather her into his arms, pull the quilt over them. Why did the fuckin' sheet always disappear?
Hold her and kiss her hair and shoulders. Rub her back and listen to her breathing slow into the rhythm of sleep before he let himself go.
Author's Note: So it seemed like something with River telling Riddick about her past was a good idea even if it took her a bit longer because she had to actually talk about it.
Chinese Translation:
chī xiàn (crazy / insane)
tiān shā de èmó (Goddamned demons/fiends)
Mā lege bā zi (fuck! / motherfucker! / fucking)
yǔ sheng chù hùn zá de bēi wéi nú lì (Filthy fornicators of livestock)
pì gu (butt)