Chapter 2: Runaway Princess rescue
From the last chapter DHORKS 1 is approaching Emilys vehicle along with her cherub passenger at a slow yet determined rate as inside the ship the villains look at the ship through the window at there approaching target. "Princess Emily ship is already in range sir" said Agent 1 as Adam had his mask down "Perfect, now firing a warning shot across her nose!" He said as at that command opened fired on Emilys ship firing shots on Emilys vehicle inside as the angel and Cherub stumbled inside panicking "Ahhh! What is going on? Are we bing attacked?" Yelled Collin "Not sure *Checks out* either someone is celebrating the 4th of July earlier *cue more firing shots* or someone is trying to kill us!" Yelled Emily and saw DHORKS 1 "And that huge ship is trailing us now!" She yelled which is true…annoyingly slow it was coming and coming hot.
"Oh this is not good…*Exasparated sigh* as much as I hate to do this I have no choice" said Emily as she got her Iphone out, the poor angel has no choice but to call her mom, the same mom she ran away form for help. She was to young to use her magic and cant defend herself and Colin hadn't earn his stripes to become a human adult to use his full magic "What are you doing?" Asked Collin "Calling mom" she said typing the number as she waited for her mom to answer.
DHORKS 1 Opens fires on the little car some more as one of the shots came really close to hitting Emily as inside the ship Adam took off his mask snapping at the shooters "Watch it you idiots! I told you across the nose, not up it! Cant you idiots do anything right?" He yelled as three imp like duel monsters given a humanoid shape due to the excrosist suits called the Ojama brothers turned around showing there eyes were crossed eyed (Even Ojama Green as his pupil was at the side) much to Adams surprise "Sorry boss man doing our best here" said Ojama Yellow "Yup doing our best so stop yelling at us" said Ojama Black as Green nodded "Not our fault things are a bit confusing for us" said Ojama green nodding as Adam looked at Agent 1 "Agent 1 who made these duel monsters gunners anyway?" He demanded to the agent in annoyance. Who was indeed the moron in there right mind would make three of the weaker duel monsters with a cross eyed disease in the first place?
"I did sir" said a moose like Transformer sinner named Thunderhoof as the two villains looked at him with his optics crossed much to there alarm "Who is he?" Asked Adam "he is A asshole sir" said Agent 1 with a serious face but you can tell he wanted to laugh "I know that…but I mean what is his name?" Adam demanded to Agent 1 impatiently "that is his name sir, Ashole: Major Thunderhoof Asshole sir" said Agent 1 "And his cousions?" Asked Adam a tick mark forming as his golden eye seem to twitch a bit "They are familiars to his adopted cousion Chazz Prinstion, and they are Assholes as well Gunners mat 1,2,3 Classes Ojama Yellow, Black and Green Assholes" said Agent 1 much to Adams surprise and further annoyance "How many Assholes do we have on this ship anyway?" He asked in frustration…as the crew stood up and held there hands up. And cue Adam having a … face dumbstruck at how diffrent species they are and yet they are all related as they sat down and got back to work.
"Father help me…I knew it I am surrounded by Assholes and frictin idiots" he said groaning as he pulled down his helmet "Keep firing you assholes!" He barked as the DHORKS 1 continues firing at the ship some more as Emily is talking to Sera on her phone exclaiming in a panic "Mom hurry! There are lots of laser blasts all over and I dont know how long we can hold out here! Send back up hurry!" She yelled
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Meanwhile the heros of the Owl Bitches 5 are in a real bind, they have to somehow come up with the money to pay off Mammon but the three are stuck. But suddenly they got a call from Queen Sera of the Planet of Aveyond "Sera to Octavia, Sera to Octavia are you there?" Her voice called out as Loona turns out the monitor to show the image of the leader worried "Octavia, Loona, Frizzaroli you have to help me, please save my daughter she is being attacked by DHORKS!" She said "Whoa DHORKS!" Octavia asked the queen in surprise and concern as they are not the kindness types in the galaxy. "Sorry Sera, but I cant its way to dangerous, plus I am uno on Adams hit list "Look your majesty its not that were are afraid of DHORKS, far from it, its just we got a thing about death and…well its just not us especially since two haven't gotten a good mate and I am married myself" said Frizzaroli as he got a double noogie punch from the ladies as Sera sighed. At that moment it looks like there is nothing that can get the heros to fight off the forces of DHRKS and save Emily now.
"Please you must you three are the only ones who can save her I'll give you anything, did you hear me? Anything" Sera pleads to the heros as hearing that caught the three interest "Anything queenie?" Asked Loona with a look "yes anything" said the high angel as the three heros shared a thoughtful look. This can be the break they needed to pay off Mammon as Octavia turned to the monitor "Okay then we can do it…for one hundred billion space bucks" she said cooly "One hundred billion space bucks?!" Yelled Sera in shocked surprise that her crown nearly fell of at such a price. "Ooh we are starting to fade, we are loosing the picture here queenie" said Loona reaching for the switch to turn the TV off that was enough to convince the queen as Sera exasparated sighed "Alright, I'll pay it, only please find her save her" she said as the group shared a knowing grin look "Alright Sera, you've just made a deal "One princess for one-hundred billion space bucks" said Frizzaroli with a smile. Once the heros rescue Princess Emily they can get the money and pay off Mammon once and for all.
"*gets a pad and pen* ok tell us what the princess is driving?" Asked Octavia "Emily is driving a brand new white moon roof Mercedes 2024 brand limited edition…it has. Leather interior and a music stereo" explained Sera as Octavia wrote it down "Ok music stereo…" she said "I got the vehicle at a good price and I payed in full cash, one of my cousions marred a good dealership owner in the Vally he was really polite and nice to me" said Sera "Alright we get it queenie" said Loona annoyed, no need to go over board in details "Tell us where the princess was last spotted" asked Octavia wanting to know where she was so that she and her freinds can get to her quickly "She was passing buy Thias" said Emily as Octavia nodded "No worries we will find her" promised Octavia in determination "Yes of course please bring Emily back safely…and if you can try to save the car I am still making payments on it" said Sera as her image disappeared from the screen "Ooooh yeah we did it Tia we did it" said Frizzroli "Damm straight, one huddler billion space bucks now we can pay off Mammon!" Said Octavia as she and Loona high fives "High five it Owl girl we got a princess to save" said Loona as they set off to save the girl.
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DHORKS 1 stops their shooting long enough to fire a magnetic beam at the car as it stopped as the beam itself pulled the vehicle towards an open doorway in the ship itself. Inside the car Emily looked worried as she asked Collin what was going on "What is going on? And what is that glow?" She asked worried as Collin tried to get the car to move "Why aren't we moving? *sees the car is going backwards* Ahh Princess we are moving backwards!" He yelled panicking as DHORKS is taking them and its gonna be bad.
During this time The Owl Bitch 5 arrives on the scene as Octavia spots on what is going on "There's our princess now…and it looks like she got company" she said as Frizzaroli panicked "AHH! Its DHORKS! They got her in that magnetic beam now!" He said "Well its too late and a shame *reaches to push a switch* time to get out of here no need to…" started Loona not wanting to face DHORKS hearing rumors and not wanting too see those are true "No Loona bad girl *slaps her paw* we came to rescue the princess and that's what we're gonna do" said Octavia "Come on now Tia why are we risking our lives for a runaway princess anyway? I know we need the money but…" started Loona as Octavia wrapped a arm around her "Loon, listen we aren't doing it for money…we are doing it for a shitload of money" she said "that and innocent lives are at stake" said Frizzaroli "That is second, and fine you are right we will save her, but if we move in there, they're gonna spot us on there radar and shoot us down!" Said Loona worried that they will be shot like that as Octavia crossed her arms with a knowing look "No way" she said "Will to" said Loona as they jibbed back and fort until Octavia gave a idea "They wont…not if we jam it" she said winking as both the hellhound and imp got an idea "See what you are thinking you crazy owl" said Loona "Down the scope Frizzaroli!" Said Octavia "Downing scope" he said as he lowered it down and focused on DHORKS radar "Alright radar…prepared to be…Jamed!" He said as Octavia pressed a button on the dashboard…causing a jar of jam to be sent flying at the radar crashing upon impact.
The best way to jam things up is to literary jam things up
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Inside DHORKS 1 the radar technician Blaster (G1 transformers) was at work as noises are heard but then to his surprise the radar begins to screw up as he watches in shock as he tried to figure out what was going on. Soon static appears on his screen moving around…until in a blip it disappeared as Blaster tapped it "Oh Slag!" He said tapping the side of his head in concerned making beeping noses as the radar technician grabs a phone and dials it calling "SIR!" He called as Agent 1 who was watching the magnetic beam with Adam turns with the angel "What is it blaster?" He asked "Can I talk to you for a minute sir? Please?" Asked Blaster in the microphone causing Agent 1 to sigh as he and Adam head over to the mans station to see what he wanted "Well?" He asked as the robot begins to speak but the microphone is making it difficult for him to speak properly as the agent takes the phone away "Private Blaster you dont need that we are right here" he said hanging it up "Now what is it?"
Of course Blaster spoke again in a microphone sounding voice echoing making it difficult for the two villains to understand as Adam got annoyed as he took away his microphone earpiece and throws it away to end this nonsense "Alright is it?" He demanded "I am having trouble with the radar sir?" He said clearly "And what is wrong with the radar?" Demanded Adam "I've lost the bleeps, I've lost the sweeps and I've lost the creeps" said Blaster
Adam: the what?
Agent 1: the what?
Together: and the what?
"You know…the bleeps *Makes bleeping noises* the sweeps *Makes a sweeping noise* and the creeps" he said making a creeping noise much to Adam and Agent 1s confusion "Ugg lets face it its not all that he lost" said Adam which was true blaster was a big weird "Sir the radar sir it appears to be…* points to the radar seeing the problem as jam dripped down the screen* jammed!" He said "Jam…" Adam gasped in shock as he swipped the screen to get a taste of the Jam as he got mad "Raspberry…*Cue the camera panning onto the angel* there is only one insolent soul who would DARE give me the rhasberry…*closes his helmet over his face* OCTAVIA!"he bellowed…as the camera got to close hitting him in the face as he fell to the floor hard as the crew members turned to watch what has happened…then returned to work as if there was no issue going on.
With the radar saflely out of comission the Owl Bitch 5 is safe to move in and save Emily as the vehicle flew to the top of Emilies ship before coming to a complete stop. Once it did Loona begins to climb down volunteering to bring the princess into the Winnebago its self. Inside the ship the angel and cherub heard a thump on the ship "What was that?" Asked Emily worried as a knock was heard "Never mind on that, who is that?" Asked Collin worried as the rooftop opens revealing a grinning Loona as the two screamed startled "Hi there" she said "Who are you?" Asked a recovered Emily worried if she was freind or fore "my name is Loona, I am a hellhound and don't worry I dont work for DHORKS" she said as she saw Collin as she winked as the sheep Cherub blushed at the bold but beautiful hellhound "So what do you want?" Asked Emily "your mom hired me, Frizzaroli and Octavia to save you *Points to the ladder* come on lets get on the ladder and get out of here" said Loona "Alright, come on your majesty lets follow the cute wolf *flusters* I mean the hellhound out of here" he said as he turned and sawed Loona grinning face as he blushed "wait what about my matched luggage?" Asked Emily and Collin "I am not going anywhere without it" she said as wolf and sheep gave a glare look/
Really in a time of crisis the princess can only think about is her luggage…
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Emily and Collin begin climbing up the ladder…with Loona caring all of Emilys luggage, honestly for someone as small as Emily she had a lot that she brought for a honeymoon that never got a chance to happen as Collin looked down to see Loona looking up as he tugged on his tail "Please dont look up my tail" he said shyly "Sorry on that lamb chop" said Loona blushing a bit, for someone as timid and shy he does have a nice tail.
Back inside the Owl Bitch 5, Octavia and Frizzaroli were waiting for Loona to get back so they turned and saw Loona holding Octavias luggage as Emily and Collin went into the back with Octavia missing them "What? Are you checking? What in the universe is that trash?" Demanded Octavia in disbelief as Loona drops most of the luggage while speaking though one is in her mouth as she mumbled "what was that?" Asked Frizzaroli blinking at that as Loona spat it out "I said 'her royal highness matched luggage' said Loona as Octavia got annoyed "Oh you got to be kidding! *slaps her forehead* matched luggage? What does she think this is? A princss Cruise" she said "Trust me she refused to go unless I take this stuff (Frizzaroli: can we salvage anything) no and no cross dressing you are almost married" said Loona pointing with a serious look at Frizzar "Wow talk about spoiled" said Frizzaroli as Octavia rolled her eyes "Oh yeah" she said as Loona got back into her seat as the heroine took a microphone "Now here this this is your captain Octavia speaking, the moment we get out of here the first thing we are gonna do is DUMP the matched luggage…before one of my co piolets savage this stuff" said Octavia.
In the back is Loona messy bedroom, you can tell with the gothic attire and smell of dog fur here and there and cigarettes as Collin got curious "Whos that?" He asked but Emily crossed her arms in a pout annoyed "Who dose this 'Octavia' think she is? *Walks over to the intercom and presss a button to speak into it* now here this Captan…whatever your name is…you will NOT touch that luggage, and furthermore I want this place cleaned up, I will not be rescued in such filth" she said annoyed some rouges rescued her.
Back in the pilot area Octavia frowned at that, who does this princess think she is as she spoke into the microphone again "Listen here that's Captan Octavia to you, and on this ship I dont take orders I give them this is my dream boat hun" she said as Emily got pissed as Collin got worried "Hon?" Said Emily here eyes blazing as she spoke into the intercom again "How dare you speak to me like that! You will address me in the proper manor as Your royal highness, I am Princess Emily, daughter of Queen Sera of Aveyond" she said as Octavia groaned in the diving area "Ugh that is all we need a shrewish princess" she said
As Loona looked at Octavia "You know what Tia…its funny" she said "What is?"asked Octavia "Because she dosent look shrewish" she said having seen her as she got the princess and her Cherub assistant "Have to agree with that" said Frizzaroli recalling to see a brief glance of a feathery wing meaning she maybe a angel as Octavia sighed as she thought its gonna be along flight back to Aveyond.
The Owl Bitches 5 then flew from the area as Emilys honeymoon vehicle heads into the ship. Once inside completely the vehicle closes all the way.
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In the DHORKS 1 the troopers stood in a room as the honeymoon ship came through the floor, but no one is aware that Emily is no longer inside. Once in completely Adam and Agent 1 enter the area "Alright troopers time to show her who is in charge of this Galaxy" said Adam sinisterly as a trooper leader named Yoh ( ) turned his weapon on as he was about to advance on the car grinning crazily "Hold it Yoh! The princess I will deal with personally" said Adam "Sure thing Lord Adam sir" said Yoh saluting as Adam gave a look and walked over to the Mercedes grinning "Princess Emily…you thought you could outwit the imperious and evil forces of planet Greed huh? Well think again! You are now our prisoner and will be held hostage until such time…when all the air from your planet will be transferred to ours" he said laughing evily as Adam opened the Mercedes to confront the princess…but looks inside in confusion, something is not right here….
Adam took off his mask as Adam turned to Agent 1 yelling "SHES ISNT IN THERE!" He yelled annoyed as the male troopers dropped there guns and held there groins in worry while Agent 1 rolled his eyes at that. They know how insane the angel is when he's upset. Just when Adam is about lose his lunch a voice spoke up on the intercom
Blasters voice: SIr the radar is repaired and were picking up the outline of…a winnebago
"A winnebago! *Gets mad* only one heroine would drive a winnebago and dare get in my way, Octavia…" he yelled as he hits the Mercedes in anger…but he hit to hard as the door closed on him hitting him hard as he yelped in pain.
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The heros of Owl Bitches 5 knew that it wouldn't take long for there enemies to find out what had happened as they saw a huge ship coming on the radar as Octavia noticed "Here comes the tacky gold blimp" she said "Knew it wouldn't take those guys long for them to figure out the radar trick" said Frizzaroli worried "We better get out of here in a hurry" said Loona seriously faced "Right, Frizzroli switch to secret warp jets!" Said Octavia as Frizzaroli saluted "Switching to warp jets" he said flipping the switch to get the Winnebago ready as Octavia grabbed the microphone "You better brace yourself and buckle up Princess we're going into…warp speed!" She said as everyone buckled up as a pair of warp jets appeared out of the back of the Winnebago
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Adam and Agent 1 watch the winnebago through the glass as DHORKS 1 is closeing in on the heros "Sir we are closing in on then, that owl bitch and her freinds will be ours in less than a minute" said Agent 1 "Good" Adam said sinsersergly behind his mask he waited a long time to end Octavias life "Now prepare to attack!" He barked "Pepper to attack! In 1…2…" started Agent 1 but suddenly without warning the Winnebago took out into warp Speed much to Adams shock as he took off his mask "Wait hang on! What just happened? Where are they?" He demanded "Dont know, I think they got warp jets on that ship!" Said Agent 1 dumbstruck at what happened "Uggh! And what do we have on this bucket of bolts a Quezinart?" Asked Adam "no absolutely not sir!"
"Well dont you just stand there! Find them and catch them!" Yelled Adam angrily he didnt come closer to capturing the princess and eliminating his longtime enemy just to fail now "Right *Grabs a microphone to speak into it* get the ship ready for light speed!" Started Agent 1 as Adam pushed the microphone down "Hold it! Foolish idea! Light speed is too slow!" Said Adam confusing the agent "Light speed is to slow?" He questioned as Adam grinned his teeth showing in a snarl "Right if we much catch them we must do so at…Ludicrous speed!" He said Evily as Agent 1 and most of the crew members to gasp in shock and horror, questioning at what there boss was thinking.
"Ludicrous! Adam that is insane! We have never gone that fast before! We dont know if the ship can take it!" Protesting Agent 1 who knows what will happen to the forces of DHORKS to use such a speed. Adam just evily grins "Oh what is wrong Agent 1? Worry that you would die before getting laid? We are doing this to save our planet so be a man and suck on it!" He said as Agent 1 growled "Prepare the ship *coughs as his voice was squeaky and recovered* prepare the ship for Ludicrous speed!" He said as at that comand the crew members quickly prepared themselves for the crazy speed "Fasten all seatbelts, seal all the entrances and exits, close all the shops in the mall, cancel the 3 ring circus and secure all the animals in the zoo…" started Agent 1 as annoyed the first Man grabbed the microphone "Oh give me that you poor excuse of an officer!" Said annoyed as Agent 1 gave a look and quickly sat down and buckled up. Adam was the only one not buckled up as he continued "Now hear this..Ludicrous speed…" said Adam "Sir perhaps you should buckle up…" started Agent 1 as he glared "Oh buckle this and suck my dick! Ludicrous Speed go!" He barked
Sure enough the ship took off in a huge speed becoming fast…fast enough that Adam finds himself pulled back screaming as he grabs a desk to keep himself from flailing into the wall as he screams loud as the speed continues on as the lights on the speed panel goes from 'light speed', 'ridiculous speed' and finally to 'Ludicrous speed' as DHORKS 1 is going into huge warp drive big time! And its insane! "What have I done? Ugggggg my brains…are going to my feet!" Groaning Adam as he held on tight as the screen shows the entire space becoming plaid!
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Octavia and her freinds duck in alarm as a familiar ship flew pass over the Owl bitch 5 very fast leaving a plaid stripe "Holly satan! What in the universe was that?" Asked Frizzaroli "That is DHORKS 1" Octavia exclaimed in amazement at what they saw flew pass the heros just now "Holly spit balls…they've gone to plaid!" Said Loona pure dumbstruck as the others at what they saw
Well it didnt take to long for Adam to realize what has happened causing him to scream loudly "We've pass them! Stop this thing!" He yelled "We cant stop sir its too dangerous!" Angel 1 Protested to Adam in alarm "We got to slow down first!" "Bull crap! Just stop this thing! I order you…STOOOOOOPPPPP!" He yelled as Agent 1 grunted as he reaches for the emergency break that said 'Emergency break Never use unless you asked for it' as the agent pulled the lever causing the ship to come out of Ludicrous speed and to a complete stop…
Bad idea as the impact caused Adam to go flying right towards a panel as he screamed as he made a complete crash as Agent 1 and the crew members got out of there seatbelts before the Agent and some of the guards went over to help Adam as his helmet was broken and he looked like some bio-excrosist creature with his face all peeled back as well as his skin and in a daze (AN: you seen the musical what his voice actor played you know what I am going with) "Sir are you okay?" Asked Agent 1 in concerned as Adam was too tired and Dazed "Uh…fine…fine agency how have you been?" He asked his voice sounding raspy like "I am fine Adam sir" said Agent 1 "good"
"Its really good you were wearing that helmet" said Agent 1 "Yeah I know" said Adam with a dazed look not realizing he looked peeled folded back, he maybe the first man and immortal but even crashes can be a big pain for him "Soooo what should we do sir?" Asked Agent 1 "Well…are we stopped?" Asked Adam "We have stopped sir" said Agent 1 nodding "Good…lets take a five minute break" he said "good idea sir" said Agent 1 with what has happened they all need a few minutes break to recover.
"Hahah good, smoke em if you got them" said Adam…as he fell to the floor falling unconcus upon impact
Cue going to a news room where James earl phones had a piece of paper "We will return to this story after a word from our writer sponcer
Goes to the outside of space
My voice: space its everywhere
Shows a short brown haired, brown eyed female with fair skin dress as a news anchor women peeking on the side of the screen "Get use to it readers" she said holding a sign "Read or let me help with writing commissions 50 to 150 points price"
Authros note: last part couldn't resist it is a parody move add some comedy and also…never do Ludicrous speed…never do it its hard core but dangerous
Next chapter the heros managed to get away, but unfortunately run out of gas and landed on a desert planet and must go on foot to find a way off it and away from there pursuers who are on the attack.